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Wednesday, March 31, 2021

Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative...

Hmmmm.......








STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
ONE WAY FRIENDSHIP


Good day, Stella,


Hope this meets you well.


I met a lady in 2018 at my office and instantly we clicked. Coincidentally, we attended the same university but we never used to talk then. we bonded really quickly and after work, we will chat and hang out.


I really don't have many friends(one of the reasons is because I had always been someone who worked remotely so it didn't give me the opportunity to meet people but when I met this particular lady, I wanted her as a close friend especially as we had a lot of similarities too.


However, I noticed she held back a little, I wanted to connect with her on social media as friends should, but she was hesitant. I only had her WhatsApp number but even with that, I couldn't chat as a friend should, maybe just bant and gist about something, she hardly read messages on time and some cases ignored them and at a point, this made me feel I was disturbing her (she said she prefers calls to chatting though).


She resigned after barely two months and I was back to square one. She didn't keep in touch, I couldn't find her on WhatsApp, we were out of touch till the following year when she called me from the blues that she had moved to another state. She said she was coming to Lagos briefly and that we should meet up but it never happened. I was at that point I began to feel a type of way. Again, there was no communication, I would try her number at different times up until last year but it never went through.


Then some days ago, she called me from the blues (the last time we spoke was in 2019), she said she was back to Lagos, we chatted for a while and she said we should see on a Saturday. My sim developed issues the next day and nobody could reach me except via Whatsapp. Because of our supposed meeting, I looked for ways to reach her to tell her my number wasn't going through.


Called her on Friday with a borrowed phone over 4 times, she didn't pick, just wanted to be sure of her movement because I was initially supposed to see someone else that day but she mentioned after I sent her a message on social media that her car was faulty and was going to the mechanic on that Saturday.


 The next day, called her again to no avail. The network was a bit bad cos she initially picked but couldn't hear her. I sent her a text quickly but no response. At this point, I had lost it. I had prepared the house in order to receive her and cancelled my other appointment and I didn't know when I started crying. She called later in the evening explaining everything about her car and that she had not been in a good state to respond to my messages.


However, since that day, I have been having mood swings, I struggle with depression and anxiety, and when it feels like someone doesn't reciprocate my energy it becomes heightened because of this, I have been having sleepless nights thinking about everything and how she may not be open with me. I am just so worried and anxious about investing in the relationship again and she not reciprocating and being chatty the way I would want.


What should I do? Am I the one just overthinking? I already told her how I feel about the whole situation (still awaiting her response) but I feel it may affect our relationship from here and things may get awkward .I really do have a deep connection with her than I have experienced with other ladies.

 I need your urgent advice





* What are you stressing about? The Connection is supposed to be a two way thing but I dont thing she felt it at all.... My dear, please move on and stop worrying yourself over nothing... This is not friendship at all and I dont know what to call it.

69 comments:

  1. You are not overthinking anything. The hitches that keep popping up each time you both are supposed to get together is a sign but you keep overlooking it.

    Please get over this one way friendship and be happy with having you.

    Ignore her the next time she reaches out to you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Lol.

      Expired friendships. It took me years to realise mine of 14 years had expired.

      How did I suddenly come to that realization? Towards the end of last year, I shared news of my forthcoming wedding with my ex-friend. It took her a day to call me (I had tried to call her a few weeks before then, but no success, so I told her on WhatsApp).

      After that call, the next time I heard from her was a day after my birthday (which was 2 days before my wedding). Wishing me happy birthday. And then, early on my wedding morning, she sent another message, wishing me a happy married life.


      And that was her support and expression of joy, at the news that a friend of 15 years was getting married.

      At a point after the wedding, I even noticed she blocked me. Then unblocked me later.

      There'd be something wrong if I don't take that as a cue that there's no friendship anymore.

      What am I trying to say? Move on. Take your cues, and move on.

      Delete
    2. I don't want to keep your hopes up. But the truth is that she maybe feeling what you are feeling but don't want it to grow because of reasons best known to her.

      I have someone I share a very strong connection with. Love this person a lot but i keep the person guessing because i don't want to build something with this person cos of their lifestyle

      Delete
    3. Hey Poster you seem to be a sweet person just like me. I get what you mean. Well we could be friends if you want. Reply to my message if you want to be friends.

      Delete
    4. Poster you are so needy,that girl is just using you to kill boredom when she feels like and drops you.

      Delete
    5. That's just it! Ignoring the sign God is showing her is so dangerous.

      Delete
    6. Poster I just read this piece of wisdom.
      Happiness is an inside job. Don't assign anyone else that much power over your life.


      You are simply being ghosted. And since I know how it feels to be ghosted by someone I had feelings for and was really interested in, let me advice you.

      It doesn't matter the reason WHY the person is ghosting you. The fact that it is consistent means you don't really matter to the person in the final analysis. And my dear if you give her another chance, she will ghost you again.

      Pick up your self esteem from the floor and continue with your merry life. Believe there is someone out there who thinks you are special and won't find it hard to make time to be with you and vice versa. Remember relationships you try to force don't work.

      Good luck poster.

      (steer clear of πŸ‘» πŸ‘» πŸ‘» willie willies)

      Delete
  2. Reciprocate same energy that is dished out to you. No go do pass yourself. Bland for bland. Excitement for excitement, head for head.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL, you had to add “head for head” you this omo komo. 🀣

      Delete
    2. Na wao unto head for head...

      Lovelace

      Delete
    3. CONNECTION is when emotions and attraction are mirrored both ways for the parties involved.

      Attraction is what you had and there is no law anywhere that she must feel the same way about you. It's natural.
      You better relax and find something exciting to take your attention quickly so you snapped out of that negative frequency. It could be dressing up to a party or crazy friends or shopping and for some it's doing a ton of dishes. However you choose to burn it out just be sure she is never for you. She might even be married and using attention from you to deflate the tension on her own shoulders.

      Delete
    4. Yes naa😁 tit for tat.

      Delete
  3. Wow! Is it just friendship abi another thing dey inside the matter???

    Please learn to love yourself and enjoy your own company. Until then you will never be happy.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. What is Stella's single and mingle for poster. We have beautiful ladies here to interact with and probably find your soul mate...Abeg let us hear word oooo.

      Lovelace

      Delete
    2. Oga it's like you will be calming down o
      Anh anh
      You are an obsessive person, I know it's hard for you right now but I don't think you should even go into a relationship without working on this side of you.
      You are enough, learn to accept rejection. Moreover you guys are just friends or would I say acquaintance.

      Delete
  4. You really missed family and friends love, you're so lonely that's why you feel this this. When next there's single mad mingle, kindly participate and look for new friends. Even if it's just chatting friends, it would help you heal.




    *Larry was here*

    ReplyDelete
  5. Poster I am very sorry that you have anxiety and depression. I think its time for you to move on and let her go. She maybe catfishing you or she is married. I know mystery and absence can put you into an intriguing and anxious position about person. But you have to put yourself first and dont make anyone toy with your emotions. I believe she knows you like her but chose to torment you. Please take care of yourself and let her be. You both don't share anything in common.Ehugs and all the best.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Damn, sis..you almost sound like this was a relationship with a lover. She’s not that into the friendship, she sees you as an acquaintance at best.

    Don’t get yourself worked up over this, go out there and smell the flowers. It’s summer, you can have fun all by yourself. πŸ’›

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Is the poster a lady or a man?

      Delete
  7. You can’t force friendship. That’s the truth. I think u are reading way too much into ur acquaintance with her.

    ReplyDelete
  8. You see her as a friend but to her, you are just someone she knows.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Cheer up girl
    Honestly this your situation can never
    Make me lose sleep.
    Ease Ur mind and work on you social skills

    ReplyDelete
  10. The problem began when you couldn't differentiate between Friend,Colleague and Acquaintance..

    She doesn't see you as "Her friend",probably as an acquaintance or just formal..

    You probably missed out on love while growing because your attitude towards all this sounds clingy and very needy of people to call "Your own" even when not in a relationship..

    Please take it easy;if you use this attitude and be in a relationship with a player,they would use these key features to manipulate you emotionally,physically and financially..

    Everyone needs love but the greatest love after christ is that which you offer to yourself...

    Keep yourself busy;and if you think you have free time,go to udemy and register for courses in your field which will keep you more busy..

    @MARTINS

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. So true. She’s seem very needy mann. Poster should work on her depressed mood and anxiety. When you get too intense on people like that, they go dey back off oo. You’re too too clingy. Calm down she’s not your lover jeeezzzz!

      Delete
    2. Poster are you male or female?

      Martins so on point! πŸ‘πŸ½

      Delete
  11. You're behaving this way because you don't seem to have friends so the one you seem to have found, you want to do everything to keep her, irrespective of the fact that you may not be wanted. This is low self-esteem and it will cost you badly if you're not careful.

    If you're not careful, you may end up having friends that are users and they will use you so well if you don't open your eyes and start loving your own company. There's no where it is written that you must have friends in your life. It's not everyone that has the grace to have good friends, don't force a friendship if you're seeing the sign that it's a one way thing, else, you may end up regretting every decision you've made since you met the said person.

    On this case, start avoiding this person and be enough for yourself. When next she contacts you, let her know you're not available. Don't cancel any appointment for her. God is showing you that this is not real but you're forcing it. Haven't you heard of friends that ruin people's lives?You need to grow up and start living for you!

    You need to be very careful before you put your whole life in the hands of someone. Imagine feeling sad because someone is stylishly rejecting your friendship! This is not the way to live life please.

    Love yourself, take yourself out, spend time with God in prayers, subscribe your phone and surf the net away when you're bored. It's not mandatory to have friends please. If God blesses you with a good one that has a mutual feeling as you, then good but if not, please be your own friend.

    Sorry for my lengthy input. Stay blessed.




    Fhkhhhjjggvv


    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Cynthia, this is the longest “article” I’ve seen you write in a very long time.

      Poster, follow this and have peace.

      Cheers!

      Delete
    2. Succinctly put πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘

      Delete
    3. I'm shocked 😲 Cynthia and epistle? Well putπŸ‘

      Delete
    4. Wow sweet Cynthia you get this kyn brain na him you dey hide dey give us short short answers. You're a darling and I enjoyed reading this from you. Well said. Oya, poster listen to sister cy ooh she got the goods.

      Delete
    5. So on point Cynthia. So on point.........

      Delete
  12. Give only the kind of energy given to you. Emotionally unavailable people will never be available until they decide to be. She just is not into you. Just let her be.

    You mentioned anxiety. You do not need someone who sends it through the roof. Hopefully you find someone who gives the same energy u give. Goodluck.

    ReplyDelete
  13. She's either married or in a committed relationship.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Awwwwww, such a soft, sweet lady you are and I bet you are empathetic, immensely loyal and loveable too. Any REASONABLE person will be happy to have you in their circle.

    However, I think you are having a real 'Boundary problem' in the way you relate with people and the way you allow others relate with you. It makes you come across as high key over-available, low key validation seeking and a siren for abusers. Calm down please, you are making way too much effort with someone who is being dismissive about you.

    You are as special as the person you admire and seek connection with. Trust me,there is nothing wrong with you reaching out and seeking closeness but ensure it's met halfway, you are around the spec of the person and at least exist within the spectrum of such person's regard. Some charismatic/magnetic/social /high maintenance babes, whichever one you come across want same to an extent except they need you to shine brighter. So a timid, clingy, over available, less flashy, low maintenance babe might not be their cup of tea. People also want to be Esteemed by their association.

    So while obviously you should let go of this person...like totally shut down all channels of communication, privately heal and refuse to be taken for granted. Be mindful of how you latch on to people, desperate energy is off-putting plus the other person could be going through things. Take time to study people first, apply restraint with how you communicate, watch for green lights or reciprocation to yours, access character, manners, sense of priorities... You too are a big deal okay. Then let it all flow.

    When you see a guy following a slobbering around a girl who doesn't like him, like literally feels no attraction... Have you come across that disgusting sight before? It screams trying to hard, low self esteem and loads of bad intention right. Yeah, it could also begin to look like that to your acquaintance if you persist. Don't cheapen yourself getting all anxious for nothing. Learn your lesson from this before desperate vibes graduate to loser vibes. Return the energy given you and don't allow someone else inflate their self importance at your expense... Hugs

    ReplyDelete
  15. Poster, Are you male or female? Please identify. Because we are all assuming you are male.
    I think you need to move on and stop attaching any false hopes to the friendship.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. From the chronicle you will know it’s a she, I wonder why you people will assume it’s a male. Only very few people got the gist.

      Delete
    2. Prettiest Rosie, perhaps you know this poster personally? Because going by that Chronicle up there alone, that can be a he or she.
      Quite a number of bvs are confused so it can't be that obvious.

      You think only girls can get needy and angst to the point of crying? LOL

      Feel free to give some of us "the gist" since we missed it. Thank uuu

      Delete
  16. Poster the honest truth is that this babe isn't into u,she just want u as a spare tyre.If u like someone,u will definitely make out time for them no matter how busy u are.She came into town and refused to see u,now she's fully back to town and she's claiming busy.Abeg face front.Try and take ur mind off her.

    ReplyDelete
  17. dont develop anxiety over anybody darling, it doesnt worth it. i wish i could see and a give you a very long hug,it is as if you missed being loved.e-hug

    ReplyDelete
  18. She only call's you when she needs something from you

    Her number is always unavailable until she calls.

    Hmmmmmmm, this is deep, she is a user, run from such people,it doesn't end well.

    ReplyDelete
  19. My brother let me advice you as a fellow man, for the sake of your heart and mental health do away with any feelings you have for that lady. Its obvious you are falling for her and you are getting depressed because she is not reciprocating the same quantum of love you are expending.

    It is glaring she does not want you to be close to her on emotional level, so why dispense so much energy on her. If you cannot take her on platonic level, then avoid her totally.

    One of the worse feelings in life is to be denied love or feel rejected.

    Take your love back and find someone who will reciprocate it, good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over.

    I pray you found that one.

    ReplyDelete
  20. Please is the poster a babe or a guy?? cos i aint understanding some of you here with your comments. My 2 cents is ...stop acting all needy and soft, people can actually see it and take you for granted, and you will end up being emotional about everything. sorry you hear? pele.come lemme hug you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Poster is a guy, but some of the comments insinuates a lady.

      Delete
  21. Abeg dey your lane. This friendship isn’t meant to be.

    ReplyDelete
  22. Please i don't understand. Is friendship by force? Just block her everywhere. You get time sha.

    ReplyDelete
  23. The problem is I don't know if the poster is a man or woman. Poster please which one are you oohhhh? why have you decided to confuse me eh

    ReplyDelete
  24. Question: is this poster a male or a female? I'm confused.

    Went back to have a second read, still no clue.

    Poster, that lady isn't into that friendship at all. You sound really sweet, sorry you found yourself in an unrequited love relationship. Let it go and move on for your own peace of mind. I know, it not easy but it can be done.

    Sending you lots of hugsπŸ€—πŸ€—πŸ€—
    You'll be fine.

    ReplyDelete
  25. Poster, did you ever tell her your feelings outrightly? Did you tell her point blank that you love her and would want a relationship with her? What I deduced from your write up is that you didn't. From what i read, the lady called you twice meaning she may like you but is not sure of where she stands with you. And you know, women are wiser now. Nobody wants a time waster.

    My advice. Try and find a way to reach her. Tell her point blank that you love her and would want q relationship with her. Make effort to go to where she is. Don't wait for her to meet up with you. Make sure she gives you a definite yes or no. If yes, fine. If no, move on. You'll get another person.

    ReplyDelete
  26. You cried? Na who die. She is not your friend and may never be. She disappears for years, she won't pick your calls and she won't reply your text messages. Who/what gave you the erroneous impression that the two of you are friends. Abeg delete her number and stop stressing yourself over nothing. I guess you don't love yourself, you need to work on loving and accepting yourself. People have made friends, very good friends on this platform. You could do same by taking advantage of the next singles and mingle. Stop allowing people take advantage of you. You are always too eager to meet her anytime she calls. Again delete her number and move on please

    ReplyDelete
  27. Guy stop thinking of how to meet n gbensh her. This isn't friendship. Read your Holy Bible.

    ReplyDelete
  28. Poster you're really nice for wanting to reach out to a friend toying with your emotions or is it cos she has a car, reason why you wanna be clingy? Cos there are peeps like that

    ReplyDelete
  29. Sis, I think you’re a lesbian bless your heart

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Exactly 😁😁😁

      Delete
    2. She’s not a lesbian, what the fuck is wrong with you people. Everything is not sex abeg.

      Delete
    3. Same here o. I just confuse. Is this woman-man or woman-woman relationship?

      Delete
    4. πŸ’”πŸ’”πŸ’”πŸ’”

      Delete
  30. Friendship shouldn't be this hard....it show flow naturally.....please flow with it as it comes.....if she reaches out she respondl,if she goes hard follow suit...if she goes slow..then be like a tortoise.....sorry though

    ReplyDelete
  31. Snap out of it ma,even if it hurts,dont trade your peace of mind for anyone,MOVE!!!

    ReplyDelete
  32. You will be alright and do not be anxious about this matter.
    But Nnaa eh, this your "prepared the house to receive her..."
    Hope it is not what I am thinking...depressed because you did not get the chance
    to ighotagonu 😝😝😝😝😝😝😝😝😝😝

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. πŸ˜‚πŸ€£πŸ˜‚πŸ€£πŸ˜‚πŸ€£πŸ˜‚πŸ€£πŸ˜‚πŸ€£πŸ˜‚πŸ€£πŸ˜‚πŸ€£ that sentence weak me too when I read it.

      Better prepare your house to receive Jesus oh😊😁😊😁😊😁😊😁😊😁😊

      Okay. Bye.

      Delete
  33. Most girls that behave this way have taken something from you
    via intercourse and they have moved on to the next target.
    Seek Jesus in his word and fasting to come out of that anxiety/depression.
    and of course, above all things the salvation of your soul.

    ReplyDelete
  34. Poster work on your depressed mood and anxiety first, sleep well, exercise, work on your self worth and you as a whole before entertaining any healthy friendships/relationship. You sound like a broken women who needs to heal from her past first. If you don’t do this, you’ll continue to let people take advantage of you and disrespect you! Leave that woman alone and let her be. Do NOT reach out to her again. Go and work on yourself please.

    ReplyDelete
  35. Make frds with other girls

    ReplyDelete
  36. I can be your friend. Am also looking for cool people to be friends with

    ReplyDelete
  37. I couldn’t but comment on this post. Dear poster, add value to yourself, build yourself worth and confidence, have a sense of purpose and direction for your life, and also working actively towards achieving it. Most importantly, love God and serve Him wholeheartedly.
    Guess what, people will be the one wanting to be your friend.
    To be a friend to another, you have to be your own friend first. You cannot give what you don’t have.

    ReplyDelete
  38. Lesbian vibe. Don't go and face your life. You also sound like you have a low self esteem. Better start loving yourself and enjoy your own company. When a friend mess you up, you will run.

    ReplyDelete

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