Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Interesting Story

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Monday, March 29, 2021

Interesting Story

Do you know how much your spouse earns? Oh, Ok they told you? 

Did you see proof? 
What you are about to read might 'prick' your mind ....

Some of you are on this table!








Here goes

''My Wife’s Salary Was a Mystery Until I discovered How Much She’s Truly Worth
In 2016 she told me her salary was GHC950. And then two years later, when she got promoted, I asked about her salary and she said, “Oh these people, don’t mind them. They added only Ghc350 to my old salary. Because of her meager salary, I’ve taken up so many responsibilities in the house without complaint. I pay for utilities and pay for food. I pay the fees of our two kids, clothe them, and take care of their medical bills. When my wife sends me a grocery list, she adds sanitary pads. 



She buys dresses and clothes, comes to show them to me, and asks me to pay for them. She started talking about a car when our second child came in. Things weren’t good on my side so I asked her to give me some time. She said, “I’ve saved something. I can add it to what you have so you pay me when your money comes.”


I agreed and took that money from her, topped it up to get her a car. For three months my ears never rest. She would wake up at dawn and ask me to pay what I owed her. I got tired and paid the money when I didn’t have much in my account.


One evening, I turned my laptop on and saw a lot of emails. I checked and it was my wife’s email that had been opened. I asked her, “Did you use my laptop?” She answered, “Yeah I was checking something.” I told her, “Then you didn’t log out.” She answered, “I forgot. Please log out for me.” I was about to log out when something caught my attention. I saw a mail with the subject, “January Payslip.” I opened and started going through.

 When I saw her gross salary, I was shocked. GHC4,734? And this girl has been crying poverty?


I went through the details. That night I couldn’t sleep. I was angry. I felt let down. I felt cheated. I felt played. We’ve been married for six good years and my wife earned that much without my knowledge? How much she earned didn’t bother me a lot than what she was using that money for. I decided not to talk immediately but rather do a little bit of investigation.


All my life I’ve held the view that it wasn’t right for anyone to go through their partner’s phone. It’s an invasion of privacy and it breeds mistrust in the relationship but that night, going through her phone was the only way to find out what I was looking for. I started with her best friend. Nothing much was found. Her family had a Whatsapp group. 


I read the messages there. I got few hints. I went through the chat with her father and that was when I realized my wife had bought a piece of land and had started building. Her father was in charge of the project.


 He had sent photos of the various stages of the building. At some point, her father said, “Thank you for helping out your brother. He would have been home had it not been you.”


She has only one brother—her senior brother. I went to look for the chat between them. Her senior brother lost his job and was home doing nothing so my wife bought him Hyundai i10 to use for Uber. Every week, her brother rendered an account and they split the money. From all indications, my wife was doing well for herself while she plays poor so she could rely on my salary. 


Why would she do that? I thought I was being a supportive husband so my wife could be proud of the man she married. When we bought land, it was her name and my name that appeared on the land title. That car I bought for her with a loan from her bears her name. I didn’t mind. I believed what’s hers was also mine.


The next morning she realized I wasn’t looking well. I was boiling on the inside but looking for a good opportunity to start the conversation. When I calmed down a little, I asked her, “So why would you do that to me?” She asked, “What have I done?” I answered, “You bought land, you never told me. You started building on it, you never told me. When are you going to tell me?” She was shocked. She asked, “Who told you all that?” I said, “Your father did.” She stood quiet for a while. She asked, “Why would my father tell you all that? What were you people talking about” I said, “I don’t know. You can ask him.”


We left it there. Some minutes later she came to me with her phone: “My father wants to talk to you.” The phone was already on a loudspeaker. His father was clearly angry. He asked, almost shouting, “You said I told you my daughter has a building? Where did I say that and when?” I asked, “Is it not true that my wife has a building project going on that you’re supervising?” He asked me, “I told you that?” I asked, “Is it true or not?” After the back and forth I told them, “I read your messages last night. 


I saw the pictures. I read the various budget you had sent to my wife. I read the confirmation of the money receipts that you sent her. You’re a man. Would you be happy if your wife does this to you?” He started fumbling. He started apologizing saying he thought I was aware.”



My wife stood there motionless, didn’t know what to say. When her father hung up, I told her everything I knew, from her salary to the car she bought for her brother. I said, “Yet, even your sanitary pad, I buy them. You think I’m a fool? You’ll use your money to acquire your own properties and live on mine because you’re my wife? I hear. We’ll see.”


Trust was lost. Love was broken. We had to find a new way of living our lives going forward. Her father called me every morning and evening apologizing for everything and sometimes taking up the blame so I didn’t have to blame his daughter. I told him, “The emotional state I’m in right now, it would be hard to think straight or think forgiveness. Just give me space.” Three days later, they were in our house. The father, the mother, and the senior brother. 


They came to apologize. “Don’t let this break up the beautiful marriage you both have. If nothing at all, consider the kids and be lenient in your judgment.”
I listened to them. My position was still the same. “I need time to clear my mind. Just leave me alone to think.” From last month to this moment that I’m writing this, my wife had changed totally. She doesn’t ask for money but the house is being run smoothly. She has started paying for things she never paid for but that doesn’t move me. She has taught me a very great lesson and I’m taking it seriously. That in everything, I have to look out for myself and my family first.


 Last she told me, “If you want us to change the names on those properties, we can do so.” Guess whose name is on the property…her father’s name.”
I told her, “You don’t need to change anything. They are yours. You suffered for them so you can decide what you want to do with them.” The land I bought has our names. I’m selling it and take my money back. The car she’s driving has her name. I put a for-sale sticker on it some weeks ago. She agreed she’ll pay for the car. I’ve given her two months to pay up or I sell it and take my money. 


She’s getting the message and I’m glad. Each one for himself, God for us all. She keeps asking if I’m going to leave her. I keep telling her I won’t but if she wants a divorce, I will gladly give her. I’m not going to leave the marriage. I would give us some time to heal and see what may happen but when it comes to money, I’ve taken the lesson she taught me through her actions''

#copied from Whatsapp.

87 comments:

  1. Yes I know how much my spouse earns. His salary gets paid into our joint account before he moves some to his personal account.

    That being said, there sure is no way to prove that the post up there is a true story because people post anything on social media to trend. You can't still be married to the person and be able to post that knowing there is a good possibility she will see it. Plus, I've even seen the Nigerian version on Facebook sef 🀷‍♀️

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Madam you're guilty of these kinda wicked behaviour and I know your type. It's your type that would hammer it on their hubby to run a joint account just for your selfish intentions..already trying to discredit the story

      Delete
    2. Nna, na wa oh. Some of u just want to capitalise on this my abstinence sha. If I decided to respond to u now as u deserve , ur fellow idiots will not see what I said but latch on mine.

      That being said, my husband and I decided as a couple (you probably can't relate as u are probably the type that Lords over ur partner) to run a joint account which both of us every month contribute to.

      So pls carry that ur hateful self very very far away from me so I don't relapse abeg.

      Delete
    3. OJ who annoyed you this afternoon? Take it easy.

      Delete
    4. Perfect response @Eka.πŸ‘Œ

      Delete
    5. O J,nice one jare. Most of these girls are just selfish and rude. The push you for joint account and be using it to run their own nuclear family and wen ur own brother ask for money,they will raise eyebrow

      Delete
    6. I AM A WOMAN. I AM A FEMINIST. I EARN MORE THAN MY HUSBAND BUT YOU SEE THIS WOMAN IN THIS STORY? SHE WAS MEAN!!!
      Haba!!!

      HE PAYS FOR YOUR BRA AND PANT. YOU BUY CLOTHES AND SHOES AND CO AND HE PAYS AND YOU HIDE UOURS TO THIS EXTENT???!!!???

      I would also need time to think and clear my head abeg and I would never trust a word that proceeds from her mouth again. Evil!

      She should have taken up some responsibilities at home. No matter how small. Let the man provide food and school fees. You pay for nepa or cable or something. Buy clothes and gifts occasionally for everyone. Thank him for feeding and housing your ass. Why so untrustworthy and so uptight and outrightly wicked? It’s uncalled for. He even paid you back for the loan you gave him to buy you a car!!!???!!! Ah ah! Wicked witch!

      Delete
    7. Hmmmmm

      She over did it

      Me I hide money o. My man is a spender! The type of spender that can use his last 400k on one phone and want me to buy his gas the next day.

      He knows his problems too so I am our money manager!

      He trusts our money on me and I don't betray him.

      But I hide ehn. If he knows the things I have ehn.

      The only difference is that i save them for our children. I gift my family very very well but also gift his own. In fact his mum thanks me that without me she didn't know one kobo will reach her from her sons end because they know him.

      His salary lands in our joint account and I give him what to spend.

      We make investments too together. But I lie a little with mine to save for our rainy days.

      If he finds out my hidden money, he will be angry small but not mad because i try a lot.

      When we started ehn, this man will buy car and we don't have toothpaste at home. You won't understand my pains then. Buy rolex and we will go to mallam to take indomie for the night.

      I ran mad. We fought o. Till i brought in wisdom to make him make his money land in our joint account where I have access.

      He is a pilot. Imagine nwuye captain collecting credit. I wisened up by force and now we are extremely fine!

      The only comma is that I have more in my own name. Who cares?

      Delete
  2. hhhmmmm, this one strong o. when you have a man that goes out of his way to satisfy you, she must have listened to advice of outsiders and also taken a cue from what is going on in the society, i wouldn't totally fault her actions. Thank God she accepted her mistakes, do as you have said, The lord is your strength

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hmmm...I NEVER visit another person's experience on my marriage especially if my husband has not given me reasons to be cautious of him. I naturally trust till the person shows he does not deserve it. In fact, I still make room for mistakes in situations where the person has proven worthy of trust. It's only when I detect a steady pattern in the persons character that I luck up.

      And women, this mind set of "his money is our money, my money is mine" is the cheapest tag you can place on yourself especially in marriage. We crave equality and respect; is this how we intend to earn it? When you have a good man, don't do him dirty. Infact, even when he is not so good, your conduct may inspire him.

      Delete
    2. Wow, this is really not good, at least we will keep learning from things like this.

      Delete
  3. I'm a woman but I felt really sorry for the guy the day I read this. I have brothers and will not want a woman to do this to any of them and as a woman, I promise not to treat another person's brother like this if I ever get married.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Ladies, if you know your spouse is untrustworthy, bad with finances, doesn't want your progress and/or is a cheat, please hide your money.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hiding money is wise because some men will develop dependency on their wife’s income but we need to establish a balance and have a middle ground.

      If my husband finds out today how much I have saved, he won’t be angry but he will be inspired to achieve more, considering that I do my best to assist on the home front and any major project he has.

      Don’t take it to another extreme by doing joint account with a financially irresponsible man, only you will cry if he messes up tomorrow and you don’t have any savings to fall back on.

      Delete
    2. Hiding the money is not the problem but pretending not to have and totally depending on him.

      Delete
    3. Only if
      That's how my friends hubby said he wants a divorce cus her salary got slashed and she can't contribute as much as she used it.
      He is still pained he paid 80percent of their house rent.
      Wo, if you are married to or dating a man like this please always hide your money, bury it if possible.


      If you have a trust worthy spouse who has sense, involve them in everything you do.

      Delete
  5. So many women are seating comfortable on this table. I am not supporting the wife but women are learning daily by other women's mistake(story) securing their future to avoid stories that touch.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Some people can be secretive Sha, yes don't trust MEN but not the the extent of playing him a fool, it's okay to be angry, you need time to heal

    I can be strict with my money not to my husband abeg

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. God bless you,wife material. No wonder Bible confirmed it that not all women are wife. Just few that are wife and God call them favour

      Delete
    2. Pray ur husband never spends ur money recklessly the way mine has. If he does my sister u will join me. It’s like once my husband knows I have money he just relaxes and waits for me to do everything.

      Delete
  7. Where is the woman's side of this fab story??
    Until then ....

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. So because this is coming from a man now, you are asking for the womans side of the story. Do you also ask for the mans side of the story when women post theirs?

      Delete
    2. How many times do you ask for the man side of story on those chronicles Stella post on this blog. I said women are just selfish

      Delete
    3. Thank u. Let’s hear what the man has done to turn her this way. Me I am like her and it is years of my husband spending my money recklessly that’s turned me like this!!

      Delete
  8. Wow... she actually took a good man for granted, played him for a fool. This woman didn’t come to marriage with a full understanding of it. Her family enables her. I feel so sorry for the husband. She had a good man but didn’t appreciate him.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Chai,I felt sorry for the man.this sort of betrayal hurts deeply.
    My husband is a business man,I have no idea bout his finances and I'm somewhat glad he isn't that open to me( tho he provides EVERYTHING I need) I'm a spendthrift,money don't last in my hands and if I happen to know how much he's worth I might just wreck him

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. @Raquel, may God bless you for your sincerity. It is very hard for a lot of people these days to be this sincere. God bless your home and bless your hubby much more to take a very good care of you. Remain blessed

      Delete
  10. She overdid it. There’s wisdom in not revealing every kobo you have but surely, there should be some transparency. Sometimes, a man knowing how rich you are will alter the dynamic of the relationship..maybe she preferred him being the sole breadwinner. 🀷🏻‍♀️

    She’s not a bad person and she’s proving that by making amends.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Even if you see Satan with horns and a pitchfork, you’ll never get it, we know your type, always looking for excuse. Madam ambiguous, speaking from both sides of her mouth, what’s the wisdom in being transparent, yet not revealing every kobo you have, nothing like full disclosure in her dictionary. She’s married o, want transparency, yet seeing nothing bad in holding some kobo back, madam kobokobo

      Delete
    2. She can't be bad, until your brother ham someone with same mentality.

      Delete
    3. 15:58 Madam ambiguous
      Madam kobokobo
      All for not seeing things only in black & white knowing there are gray areas. Miss me with that bs.

      Delete
    4. I love your personality Perxian but always call a spade a spade.she is a wicked person.no two ways bout it.put yourself in the man's shoes,it will definitely hurt you.

      Delete
    5. I missed you babe πŸ’•

      Delete
    6. Raquel, she’s not wicked to me. She was looking out for herself, we are not in the relationship with her to know why and I did say she overdid it. Why am I being hounded for seeing things differently?

      Delete
    7. I'm don't belong to the "his money is ours and my money is mine" school of thought. Not even with the USA tax filing system where we file as a couple...lol...our networth salary wise stares us both in the face.

      Delete
  11. Lemme now tell you selfish women, if it was your son in this situation, even if he decides to continue with the marriage, when it's time for him to buy a property it's you same women,mothers,sisters that will tell him to make sure it's only his name on the document....awon descendants of EVE

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. As if being a descendant of ADAM is any better. 🀣

      That man would/could have run her money to the ground if he knew how much she actually makes. Leave it, yeah?

      Delete
    2. PeexianπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ as of descendants of Adam is any better

      Delete
    3. O J......I dey fell you. All of them are selfish. Till wen their some get married and be in any situation, you will see them shouting

      Delete
    4. @Perxian
      That was not the character of the man we read in this story.
      He was there for her and is very responsible.
      Who is afraid of the marriage breaking down now? πŸ™„πŸ™„πŸ™„πŸ™„πŸ™„πŸ™„πŸ™„πŸ™„πŸ™„

      Delete
  12. I am of the opinion that if a woman cheats on her husband financially, he is to be blamed,cos some men can be reckless spenders, as a woman, if you get married to an over giver/reckless spender, what would you do?
    Please don't be judge The woman

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. My husband is completely reckless financially. Once he gets money that’s it. I had to learn to hide I beg if not upon all the money he makes my children would be going to govt school!!

      Delete
  13. This is strong!

    Yes, we are both transparent with out finances.

    ReplyDelete
  14. To me, financial transperancy is vital to a successful marriage. It's ideal for spouses to know each other's financial status.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Wow.
    The story may not be from the horse's mouth but things like this happens.
    I have never been part of this gender war thing.
    My own mantra is humanity before anything else. Both women and men have their own downside.
    But guess who cries the loudest?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you, both women and men have their downsides but my gender would always cry the loudest thereby making it seem like the other gender does the most

      Delete
  16. I feel sorry for the man, and if all he wrote up there is true, then the woman didn't do well.

    It totally wrong to take people for granted.

    ReplyDelete
  17. SMH..
    When you read most of the comment above, you can't help but feel pity for some men. Almost everyone above is making excuses for the lady's disgusting behavior even when it's obvious she's a very wicked soul..
    She makes her hubby buy as little as menstrual pad for her, she put him under undue pressure for the car when she could do all these herself and they could channel the money into other necessary stuff.

    The comments above just still prove the double standard of women. The same thing that happen when a lady cheat, you'll start hearing stupid excuses like- "he must have made her do it", "maybe he wasn't giving her attention and money" etc etc.. you guys are so disgusting and SHAMELESS..

    Men are always the fault.. women are angels..

    I believe that chrinicle married man has learnt his lesson yesterday, he has always been blunt with his write ups, but of course women would always shout whenever someone says a thing they don't like, instead make him dey focus on him truth dey go, him go do like chicken, him go dey listen to woman mouth.. shebi even as him praise them yesterday dem still "chow" am.. good for him. Becoming weak and overtly nice never solves anything. You become a foot mat. See as them just dey use am catch trips yesterday.. Lol, I liked how no one came to defend him.. he needed to learn the hard way for a more peaceful and happy future..

    Make una carry go, that woman in this post is actually an angel compared to some of you..
    We go meet for real world and una go hear am.

    Dante

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Men are always at fault... For someone to come up with "if Adam had given eve some attention, she wouldn't have eaten of the Apple" And to even think it, she ate and kept some for her dear husband oh! What an Angel..
      Honestly the lady in this this story is angel to compare to some from the nature of comment they're dropping..
      Las
      Las Las men go dey alright.

      Delete
    2. You dey mind them? The gender that believe wigs and attachment is better than her natural hair, shaves her eyebrows and draw pencil on it and you want them to ever be contented?

      Delete
    3. Thank you Dante, see them making silly excuses for the woman, my gender never surprises me

      Delete
  18. Let me share my own experience on here. My partner told me the amount he earns and I believed him, and I also told him mine. But somehow I stumbled upon some of his documents that had letters from his office stating an increment in his salary 3 consecutive times and each of these increment, he actually told me about them except for the one that happened this year maybe an oversight, he also told me that there will be some deductions due to Covid19. But to my greatest shock what he told me was not what I saw on the papers, it was 2 times of it. I quickly snapped all three of them and sent the most recent one to an accountant that I know just so I don't jump into conclusions. other allowances were listed,
    eg: Basic 00000
    feeding 00000
    transport 00000
    housing 00000
    health 00000
    clothing 00000
    leave 00000
    total 0000000
    what I understood from the analyses was that the total was his annual income and the basic his take home monthly. This accountant that I sought his help even confused me the more. people of God I confronted my guy and he was disappointed in my ignorance he calmly explained the whole thing to me, that for me to get his take home pay I have to divide the total by 12, he also showed me his recent salary alert. I was so ashamed of myself and didn't know how to start apologizing but of course I did, but he was really hurt that I doubted his sincerity to me, I have been apologizing since as this has caused a lil strain in our relationship. I messed up, I just hope this wont affect us because I love him and don't want to loose him.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Your partner, not your husband. Na wa o

      Delete
    2. The bitter truth is once trust is broken, it is like and egg. A lot needs to be done to regain his trust.

      Delete
  19. Wise woman. Trust no man period! Women better learn and secure your kids future. Hey before you judge her, hear from her bitter marriage experience.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Every Sunday, I put an extra offering in church, so I don't end up marrying a wicked, selfish woman like you

      Delete
    2. Anon 15:43 you deserve a hoodlum for a husband

      Delete
    3. πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ @ Noc-Turnal, God will answer your prayers...

      Delete
  20. Only foolish ladies go this pathway. You leave your father's houses, take of men's names
    and drop your dad's own. Have kids together. Instead of planning for the future, including
    financial planning, you keep that in your father's house. You are not ready to stay married.
    Now, who is afraid of the marriage breaking?
    Who will suffer and die an old maid in the event of a divorce?
    The man can marry as soon as the marriage is gone?
    Only foolish ladies trek that part.
    Look at how she was about to lose a very good and responsible man?
    My money, my money...do you go to eternity with that money?
    πŸ™„πŸ™„πŸ™„πŸ™„πŸ™„πŸ™„πŸ™„πŸ™„πŸ™„πŸ™„πŸ™„πŸ™„πŸ™„πŸ™„πŸ™„πŸ™„πŸ™„

    ReplyDelete
  21. My prescription for marital expenses.

    1. Become a child of God.
    2. Marry another child of God.
    2. Both of you sit down and write out EVERYTHING you spend money on in the home.
    3. Put a price tag to each item.
    4. Sum up the total price list.
    5. Share the amount in the percentage of income size. E.g. hubby-60%, wife-40% OR hubby-40%, wife-60%. This is based on salary capacity.
    6. Have a joint account where each party sends his/her quota.
    6. Each party can then do whatsoever he/she wants with the remainder of his/her salary. But you MUST let the other person know what you want to do. NEVER keep your spouse in the dark about your activities.

    NB: There should be allocation for things like philanthropic ventures, outings, hairdo, etc. in the list. EVERYTHING!!!

    ReplyDelete
  22. Know your spouse and devise a financial strategy accordingly. Let us refrain from blanket judgements. Some years back I made an error in judgement by taking up some specific financial responsibilities in the home. This made my hubby relaxed to the point that he made some poor financial decisions(eg loaning money to clients for eventual marketing up). This of course resulted in a big strain on our marriage and I learnt my lesson. He is definitely not a bad person but it taught me a fundamental lesson. So of course there is more transparency and we now take investment decisions jointly. If you are married to someone that is financially irresponsible,selfish or untruthful you MUST take all the necessary steps to protect yourself and your kids.This goes for both sexes by the way.

    ReplyDelete
  23. It is sad that this happens in some marriages. I know how much hubs earns and he knows how much I earn. He always tells me that my money is mine to spend. He doesn't ever stop sending me the house allowance and my own allowance.

    Now this doesn't mean that I don't buy / surprise him with gifts. If it ever came down to taking charge of the house bills ,I would do it gladly without blinking cos my hubs is a man and half. πŸ’ͺ

    Transparency in marriage is key. Leave all this ' Hide your money from your husband'. It's a recipe for disaster.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Be glad you married a good man. What if you married a villain? A lying thieving cunning demon.? Would you be so transparent? Abeggi

      Delete
    2. 17:24 my question is why are you still married to a person with all these incredible qualities???

      Delete
    3. Really incredible qualities! Only one person...liar,thief,cunning,demon? Why would I marry such a person in the first place?C doesn't hide...

      Delete
  24. Hmmmm

    If you take up 90 percent of the bills at home, Dante and co will say you want to emasculate the man.

    If you allow him to pay the bills and feel like a man, you become a wicked woman.

    We don't know the backstory. In this part of patriarchal society, you are supposed to have plan B. She was moved to do this because of several stories she has heard from women.

    Oga, forgive your wife
    Forgive her
    Both of you should be honest henceforth.
    Woman, if your husband is caring and faithful, lay your cards on the table.

    If your husband is unfaithful with sidechics, better have a plan b,c and d. Don't compare another person's faithful husband with your community penis husband. Oga emegi vuum na Anya. Go and watch Mrs Daramola's video and receive sense.

    Anyway
    This is another cock and bull story to force women to be guilt ridden and start divulging hidden properties.

    KING XOXO MYSTERY

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. "If you take up 90 percent of the bills at home, Dante and co will say you want to emasculate the man."

      Don't be silly. If you want to make a dumb comment, do so without attaching my name to it, ok?

      Delete
    2. Come of it Dante, isn't that what you tell women?

      It's okay to ride for men but it hurts when I do so for women.

      Calm the fuck down
      Alpha male my foot
      Na your type dey wash women's panties.


      KING XOXO MYSTERY

      Delete
  25. I've always been open to my husband about my earnings and expenses though he was secretive about his. I earn well so I spend a lot on clothes etc although I have investments and landed properties of my own while he is more prudent; he has always been generous with housekeeping and other expense.
    About 12yrs ago, my best friend lost her rich/generous husband and she went through hell in getting his investments,entitlements etc. The lawyer that processed them collected 10% and state government collected 10% of the very huge amount that accrued to him. That was the eye opener my husband needed because he is a true son of ijebu land, he said he can't imagine someone else reaping from his sweat like that, so he took me to the bank to be a co-signatory to his accounts including his salary accounts and when BVN came, he added mine. We also opened joint accounts and he changed all his investments to either to sign with me giving instructions now and then and the banker do comply. Our debit cards have the same password even the internet transfer and mobile apps. I don't abuse all these though as I tell him before I make withdrawals when the need arises. The properties all have both our names clearly spelt out.
    It never bothered me that he was secretive until he saw the consequence in my friend's marriage and did the needful

    ReplyDelete
  26. Single ladies, marry a man you can trust and who trusts you in return. You'll avoid most of all these dramas married people face.

    ReplyDelete
  27. I thought hubby and I were being open until I found out he lied about his income and was actually funding a SC housing and car. He acted like he wasn’t getting enough money so I had to take up almost of the responsibility. My people now I am a team hide member. I cannot be suffering while he is paying for outsiders. Now I am building a house in my name. At least let me have where to live in my old age and not burden my children.

    ReplyDelete
  28. Financial infidelity is a deal breaker for me. If I was the man I am not so sure what my reactions would be. Not sure at all. But things will never remain the same ever again.

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  29. I don't know what to say sha. But maybe when I get married and know the kinda husband I have before I can say what I would do if I have a stingy man as a husband.

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  30. How can two people be married and they each do not know how much the other earns? Nahhh... What is more intimate than the union of marriage itself. No No. She did wrong!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. She earns so much yet she collects every kobo from her husband while he struggles financially.

      What is wrong with picking up bills in a house you also live in?

      Except the man is a womaniser, this is totally unfair and acceptable.

      Delete
  31. I read this story before now and will say it again. The wife is plain wicked...cares more about herself and her family than her husband.

    If she was building for her "future" why not build a house for her children and not her father?

    Also, her father was very much aware what she was doing cos he could have called him at any point to ask his opinion or sth but he never did until he was caught...pulease!

    ReplyDelete
  32. I don't know what my husband makes in a month neither does he know what I earn either, I make a little above a quarter of a million but I try to do my best, this guy doesn't want to do anything again. To think that I did a job years back and made some bucks and thought to myself that we should build in the village and this man I married wants me to shoulder everything, he doesn't want to add anything from his pocket. The height of greed and selfishness he has shown me eh, am just plotting my wallet out if he refuses to change. How can I give you roofing money 1.2k and you can't add 400k to finish up? You say I said, I'll pay for it and you saw I was going through an IVF treatment and I was bereaved!!!
    I just wish I could turn back the hands of time but since I can't I have told God that my next phase of life must be about me, children or not. He doesn't know I have changed the game. I have told him to man up and finish up. Am done!! marriage is just something I don't know how to define, I entered it with a pure heart but am so wounded that honestly I want out. I will gradually plot my leave, before he realizes it, am gone to a very far place. I have tried before someone will kill me for my late parents. So far you have taken almost my five million yet I don't know what you have brought yet am insulted over my sweat. I have told him to finish up, am done!!!

    ReplyDelete
  33. This is best judged on a case by case basis. In this case, the woman was wrong because the man put his cards on the table. But if we generalize, she was not wrong. Nigerian men are entitled. Entitled to spend on side chicks and hotels, spend on their siblings and parents, in fact anything that inflates their ego. before she knows it, He will factor in her money into his nonsense. Funds spent on his siblings and parents dare not be questioned by the wife else she be labelled a witch.
    The truth is there is no short cut to marriage. if you are not doing it right, you are wasting your time.

    ReplyDelete
  34. The story reminds me of the one about a woman sick to death in the hospital but waiting for her husband to go further aborrowing while she had N450k hidden in her mattress at home. But the husband saw the money by mistake, took it to clear her hospital debt, bought a new mattress and burnt the old one. The wife returned from hospital,saw the new mattress, she asked about the old mattress, and was told it had been burnt. She fainted.

    The posted story and the story I told above may not be true, but they are typical in Nigerian and other societies with opaque record/tax systems or with envelope salary systems.

    By the way, King xoxo mystery, what is demeaning about a man washing his wife/girlfriend's panties.

    A woman who uses that as an insult at a man shows she sees herself has a lesser person compared to a man.

    ReplyDelete

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