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Wednesday, March 10, 2021

Man Shares Traditional Marriage List He Was Given By Prospective Father In Law...

 A handle on Twitter posted this list and says this is what he was given when he asked to marry their daughter...........

I am so shocked at this...... Which tribe gives out a list like this? This is outrageous!









95 comments:

  1. Honestly some people are extremely greedy. Like really greedy. Haba!

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    1. As i see Pig and wheelbarrow I just know say na Benue wife.

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    2. Did they force him to come and ask for her hand in marriage?

      This is a private stuff... Why share it?.. Attention seeker oshi

      If they give you the list and you can't afford it, you move

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    3. So his crime his loving their daughter enough to be his wife.

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  2. 7bags of salt kwa, they should kuma turn him to Lot's wife aka pillar of salt不不不不不

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    1. Ayaka, you took the words out of my mouth!
      Which kain list be dis?
      Just the other day, some people and I were complaining of how expensive Akwa Ibom lists can ne, but compared to this, it is mere child's play....
      These people are GREEDY!

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    2. Must be first time they are going to use salt...mtschwww. That's an incredible waste of money, unless their intention is to resell the salt for their own profit.

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    3. It is 17bags of salt. Please does the mother in-law wantsto start salt business ni

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  3. Hahahaha.. All I saw was the knife up there. And some people wonder why most ladies ripe enough for marriage are still single. SMH.

    Wizkid FC.

    #Proudly Tiv#

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  4. wait....o,i did not even see the table for counting money, abi table for slaughtering the pig noni不不不

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  5. This one no be Igbo/Imo people ohh. which kind list be this na

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  6. I am pretty sure they are igbos most especially ndi Owerri.Absolutely shameful!

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    Replies
    1. And you are "pretty sure" of this how, baba Advincci?

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    2. No it's not hun, get your facts right first before being handsome sure.

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    3. It's Benue. The Pig and wheelbarrow gave them away.

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    4. That is why most of them are in their 40s and still in their father's house.Not like suitors are not coming oh.

      But how many young men can afford a list like this and still add the expenses of traditional and white wedding.

      You will be wondering why a household with beautiful and hardworking ladies are not getting married.This is it.Greediness.

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  7. Why is father inlaw's Knife 20k and Mother inlaw's knife 2k?
    hahahahahaha
    I am sure some zeros were added by mistake.

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    1. I saw it too. To think there's nothing in the list for the bride sef. Greedy people

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  8. All these lists, say wetin happen

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  9. Igbo Kwenu!
    Yo, are you selling your daughter or giving her out in marriage? This is dumb, some traditional practices need to be either left in the 1900s or modified to fit modern times.

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    Replies
    1. Does that list up there look anything like a list for a traditional marriage in any part of Igbo land?

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    2. @snarker: Kindly do not generalize.
      Not all igbos do this nonsense.

      When my sister was to get married for instance, everything on her list, which was sent from the village, of course,was 500k. The bride price was also 500k. Making a million. My dad removed so many things from that list cos he wasn't interested in them. The bride price he collected was 15k. He said he wasn't selling his daughter but would want the in-law never to maltreat her.
      My cousin got married and the bride price collected wasn't up to 20k too.
      My dad always sing it to our ears too that, if we want to do our wedding and decide to take it to the village, it means we have so much money to spend. Cos village people will drink and drink, ask for more drinks and food and go home, leaving you to face your marriage. We better do it in the state we reside. He can always take the village portion to them(which of course, won't be that much, compared to when held in the village). Many of my uncles and aunts living outside our state of origin do same for their children too. They always insist, they ain't cut out for those outrageous list. Cos in my village, the higher your qualification, the higher the list content. And my family oh, na only first degree, village people know say we get. Any other thing, they don't and we'll never know. Cos the "one who tells them", has been kept in the dark.

      So, please, you guys should stop generalizing. And let no one insult me. Thanks.

      Please, I come in peace.

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    3. Snarker aka apukwana gi oooo.
      How does that look like Igbo list?

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    4. Let’s not act like ndi Mbaise are not notorious for their outrageous bride price requirements.

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    5. @Chisom: Help me ask her oh!

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    6. @snarker, how many lists from Mbaise have u seen? Stop being stupid this 2021.Leave your village and broaden your horizon.

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    7. @Blue
      You literally just substantiated my point lol. Your sister and cousin were given outrageous lists as well but your family was gracious enough to kick against that. I’m assuming you’re Igbo though.

      @ the Rest of y’all
      And I never said ALL Igbo people are guilty of making ridiculous bride price demands, it’s not like this in my hometown so I would know.
      I was only suspecting that this particular list is from an Eastern family. Y’all should let me rest now.

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    8. But I don’t understand wetin concern village for person wedding. Where I come from peoples marriage and wedding does not concern village. It only concerns direct family members only, it does not even concern distant relatives not to talk of a whole village. Why should village be involved in peoples wedding. Na wa o.

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    9. You saw pig written there and you are pretty sure the list is from the East. Do Igbos use pig for traditional rites? Mtsheeeew!

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    10. @ olive rose

      I can’t be the one you’re talking to like that. Definitely not me. The internet truly is the great equalizer; not to be braggadocious or anything but someone of your ilk can never be in same space as me in reality, there’s no way we’d ever cross paths so it’s really funny how you have the confidence and audacity to address me like that.
      It’s truly amusing how a guttersnipe like you would tell ME to “broaden my horizon” lmao. sis you wish you had a shred of the worldliness and sophistication I have lol.
      Next time, watch who you reply to. I won’t hesitate to drag you by your non existent edges.



      And why tf are you people so salty about my comment lmao. It’s facts, some Igbo towns have obscenely exorbitant bride prices. Why is my opinion so controversial lmao?

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    11. I understand things are hard in Naija but bikokwa you people should direct your fury else where, tf??不不不 What’s all these anger for?

      I apologize for assuming it was an Igbo list, y’all could have just negated my opinion and kept it moving. It is really not worth being agitated about. I apologize once again my fellow Igbo people 恫不不不

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    12. Bride price 20k hmm, my place it's #70 Asin seventy naira. Mother's list #100k, father's and umuanna #200k.
      The father takes #100k and umuanna #100k.

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    13. @Snarker, it's a fact some Igbo people... "Some" and you are saying Igbo kwenu! Have you seen list of some places in Delta State?
      Just seeing pig on that list, obviously it can't be Igbo.
      I was even thinking maybe cotonou or the part of Nigeria that shares border with them, or cameroom.

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    14. Abeg make una free Snarker, Mbaise list is outrageous. My brother married an Mbaise girl, they should better do something about that list. It was as if we were importing yams from the North going by the number of yams on the list. Even stella pomade and old lamp formed part of the list. Very wicked list.

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    15. 18.48 why not tell us the estimate of what your brother paid?

      Some men will go to their inlaws place & be forming big boys then why won't the inlaws exploit them.

      On a lighter note did your brother borrow money to pay the bride price?

      The most Complex B

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    16. LISTS CAN BE BEAUTIFUL BUT ONE OF EACH ITEM IS ENOUGH. I PACK SALT, 1 PACK MAGGI ENOUGH.HABA

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  10. This na part of the reasons why some men dey treat their wives like slaves because the father in-law and family don suck the guy dry. His behaviour and treatment he metes out to his wife may be unintentional in some cases. It may just be transferred aggression out of what the family of his wife has taken from him unreasonably

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    1. You're not too far from the truth. But a real man will either walk away from the jokers or settle the bills, marry his wife and cherish her.

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    2. What if his financial capabilities no reach the list? What happens? Does that mean he isn't a real man?

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    3. YOU MAKE SUCH A LARGE LIST AND EXPECT THEM NOT TO TREAT YOUR DAUGHTER LIKE A COMMODITY.

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  11. Now we wonder why men are not keen on marrying women anymore.....

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  12. Lady G, this guy needs that your negotiator... Lol

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  13. Replies
    1. I've seen this kind of list before. The young man had to negotiate with his in-laws and the amount was reduced.

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    2. @Chike: I don't think so too.

      People just wanting to trend for whatever reasons best known to them.

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    3. I don't think so too.

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    4. Chike, I've seen a similar list before o. The lady is from Akwa Ibom and the list was so ridiculous to me. The amount for cigarette was 10k as well

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    5. In every community, there must be 2 or 3 men that knows how to negotiate Traditional marriage rite list. You can't just go there and start sweating.

      But the list is much.

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    6. I have seen a list that is more that before, but it was Akwa Ibom. Underskirt and umbrella for mother-in-law was there sef.

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  14. This is how people sell their daughters. And when the man "buys" her, she becomes just like
    a piece of furniture in the house. She is treated with so much disdain and disrespect.
    This is the height of bastardization of of the marriage institution.
    And same folks when their sons want to marry, they will be surcharging every in-law to bail them
    out.
    Please nobody should come and tell me that this is "our culture."
    This is "your greed, your avarice, your selfishness, your unadulterated folly."

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  15. Do they own a beer parlour??

    Cigarette,pig,table for counting money? Ohh,They are already expecting money

    @MARTINS

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  16. Personally, i feel the original poster is just clouting or even exaggerating because wtf is table for counting money? Knife, one pig, bags of salt et all? I don't get.

    Well, any sister in such community that finds the love of her life and let's him go because of that very very stupid list up there is either under hypnosis or generally not interested in getting married at all. Find the love of your life and live happily ever after with him. To hell with that beyond useless list.

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    Replies
    1. CHISOM,
      I agree with your 1st paragraph.

      As for the 2nd one, it is not advisable because if anything happen to that Lady, the man will know that the marriage list is child's play compared to the burial list he will see. Even the stress will be out of this world.

      As for me, if I love the lady very much, I will go and bargain the list with her father but if he refuse, I will do it but their daughter and I will cut them off from our lives after marriage.
      So it's up to the lady to sign agreement with me that if she connect with her family after the marriage, she will pay me back all the money I spent and we will end the marriage.

      So it's left for the lady to sign the papers and marry or go back to her family.

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    2. Some lists are even more expensive than that o. I think the list is real

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    3. 不不, biko lemme laugh ojere!
      Chike banyi, i swear that your agreement plan bu dachii! It's allowed dear. Plus i will lock her up in jail if she refuses to pay me what she owes me should she by any chance breach the contract we both signed. Lemmeeo! Didn't know about the village people coming for the man's life this time if their daughter that eloped with her husband dies. There's no winning with these village people o.

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  17. See gbege oooo... Wetin the pikin/daughter dey bring come husband house after spending this outrageous amount abeg. Even if she get PHD for wifey duties/Aso Rock connection, e still remain to bring

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  18. Lies, I don't believe a suitor was given such a list. Anything to trend

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  19. When u marry from a greedy or broke family.

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  20. Saw it on Twitter and the comments were rib cracking. It's the 5gallons each of palm oil and groundnut oil. 16bags of salt. Na to open shop. And I am sure there's a page 2

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  21. Before some people will start coming for Imo or Igbo.

    The kind of family you come from determines the kind of list your suitor will get. A rich man will not ask for ridiculous things he can well afford. Most especially If he has trained his daughter to the extent she is doing well for herself.

    Let that sink in

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    Replies
    1. Please there's no Igbo person that'd refer that list up there as theirs because that list has zero nothing to do with ndi Igbo.

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    2. The list is not from Igboland.

      However, the lady should talk to her parents/family to intervene before the man will back down.

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    3. Chisom...that's not the point. But since it's not clear to you, let me explain...whether the bride is Igbo or not, if she is from a poor home, expect a "rich" list.

      Mao...exactly. Most brides don't know the power they hold cos las las na dem go follow man go house.

      Baby oku shooter

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  22. If I talk now, they'll call me broke boy and tell me how 'real men' would do it as it proves how much he values his wife.. let me not also talk about the viture and disposition of the said wife.. or is it the greedy family and village people I want to talk about? Village people that never supported in training the girl but feel entitled to share from her Bride price.. they'll say "you no dey pay for list finish, negotiate", where man won begin negotiate from, him go fit negotiate reach 1m? E possible? And this is just a part of different parts that would still take much finance.. Later oga go enter debt cos him marry, babe go still come house dey change am for am say marriage na partnership and dem dey equal, which kind partnership you don see weh na only one person invest.. God forbid she still dey relate with her ex(es) cos 'you can't tell her how to behave' then end up bringing someone else child as yours..

    Too many nonsense gats change for this country to move forward, I also don't understand the reason behind spending large sum of money for burial, some people even go broke to organize a burial ceremony, person weh don die don die, honor him in a humble manner, use your money for yourself and people weh dey alive.. same with this marriage thing, keep your money for the marriage proper, why trying to impress the world..

    But what do I know sha.. I'm just an ashawo, highness master, a woman hater and SDK drama king拎

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    Replies
    1. Dante o .... Na real Ashawo and highness master you be 五打

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    2. Chai see long epistle from a man. What a pity o!

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  23. This is too much!! New couple trying to build their life how do they expect them to cope? You drain them and expect them not to feel some form of resentment. Times are changing but this people seem not to be moving with the times at all.

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  24. My cousin got a list from his Kogi in-laws. The list is ridiculously long, but two things there shock all of us. There's Breastfeeding fee and Menstruation fee. Like why?

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    1. 不不不不

      Forgive me, but I just couldn't help laughing so hard.

      Damn! Which one is "Breastfeeding fee" and "Menstruation fee"? 不不不

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    2. Oya o. People claiming the list is fake, come out. What is knife and table for slaughtering pig if they can request menstruation and breastfeeding fee? Copulating fee should be on the list too.

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    3. WHAT?

      This is too much nah.

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    4. Breastfeeding fee kwa

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    5. 不不不不不不不my ribs o.

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  25. I'm sure the bride must be an angel.
    This is a criminal act.

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  26. This list is very absurd and ridiculous!
    I wonder how much will be spent for the traditional wedding.
    How will the average nigerian young man marry with such a crazy list?

    This reminded me of a young lady who allowed her hubby to pay her family's ridiculously expensive list.
    After the wedding, the husband isolated her from her family members. He also prevented them from seeing his wife, who has now become his property. She became a slave in her home. The husband beats her at the slightest provocation and always reminded her of how he 'bought' her from her family.

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  27. I noticed nothing on the list is for the bride's benefit! I find this peculiar, because in Ghana, where I am from, about 70+% of the list is for the bride. We don't do any of these for-the-village/extended family items. The only people aside from the bride to get something, are the siblings and parents/parental figures.

    The dad gets a bottle or 2 of Schnapps; cash; and a full piece of Kente
    The mum gets cash and a full piece of fabric (Kente, lace, and/or wax print)
    The siblings each get cash

    For the bride:

    Suitcases; Shoes and handbags; Jewelry and watches; Underwear/nightwear; Perfume and sometimes, cosmetics; an array of fabrics (6 pcs of either kente, lace, wax print); Engagement ring; Bible and Hymnal or Quran; money for her wedding dress and bridal looks. They used to include our traditional beads and scarves that are usually tied for funerals, but the younger generation seems to be steering away from that.

    Other items include, 2 crates of Malt, 2 crates of soft drinks and 2 crates of alcoholic beverages.

    There is no monetary value attached to the items, so one groom can buy high street brands for his intended bride, whilst another buys only designer brands. We also don't include food and perishable items in our bride-price list.

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  28. Ladies that knows how ridiculous their traditional marriage lists are should help by informing their guys on time. them know what they are in for instead of all this surprise up and down.

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  29. Nawao where am from our bride price is coins

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  30. I'm surprised that some people think the list is fake,it's very real,it's negotiable though but most families especially when the bride is an orphan will have little or nothing to say at all,it's either you marry her or go away.some elders don't care,mbaise,kogi,akwaibom and some part of benue especially tiv have ridiculous marriage lists.The govt should do something about this because an average Nigerian guy cannot marry with less than 1million naira.My roomy from mbaise was dating an Edo guy the man's family saw her and told the guy that he cannot be the first in his family to bring home an mbaise woman that their tm list alone can ruin a man's life and beside she's too ugly to spend that huge money on.Wahala be like kokoshoe! That's how the guy started seeing reasons to dump the girl till eventually they parted ways.please ladies from such tribes and families should try to talk to their parents,that's pure greed.Some sef are jobless and have nothing to contribute to a struggling man,upon that family will still be doing nonsense untop a liability.

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  31. Most women support huge (extortionate) bride lists when the prospective groom is not their brothers.

    Most women think that fulfillment of an extortionate bride list is a man's way of showing true love. Even men who can comfortably afford a huge bride list pay or satisfy them out of resignation or the feeling of being extorted by the bride family. A man can buy a N10m car for his girlfriend out of love , but he would fund a N2m bride list out of bitterness because the former is a freewill gift, the latter an extorted action.

    Bride list is a traditional requirement for marriage in some societies. In 95% of such societies, the woman is seen as property of the man. I urge our women who hail huge, or greedy or extortionate bride lists to go find out if my assertion is correct or not. Some (or most) Nigerian women glorify and defend the huge or extortionate bride lists of their families and villages. But they do not understand that it is foundational to the fact that under Nigeria customary marriages, the woman is regarded as her husband's property to be inherited on the man's death no matter how old the woman may be at that time.

    Nigerian women also do not know that extortionate bride list and marriage requirements is one of the reasons for in-laws "rights" and interference in their marriage. When family contribute to meet an extortionate list, the wife becomes "our wife". In one case, it was the youngest son who single handedly funded his three elder brothers' marriage lists. Such man may visit any of his brothers and insist on not doing some basic chores. Would the brothers support their wives' demand against such man?

    Of course, some fathers now do not take anything from their sons-in-law. They take in public, and return the bride price same night secretly to their daughter and her husband, and pray for them. Some fathers even negotiate the list with family and village people and fund the extortionate parts leaving the groom to pay for basic items within the pocket of the man. They symbolically collect the bride price and return it.

    And some communities do not support or even penalise high bride price of extortionate bride list.

    Lets reason together. Women demand equality in marriage. Women are by birth entitled to and, as created by God, have a right to equality with men and in marriage. So why is the man that must pay to be married. In the abroad, whose standards our people are quick to cite as a better standard for women rights in marriage, do the men pay bride price or collect and fund these type of extortionate bride lists or any list at all from women families and counties/villages?

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  32. in Benin republic and Togo where I come from marriage list is not expensive. in fact, 70percent of the the list or items are for the bride

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  33. I got married in 2014. then one goat goes for 15,000 but my village people insisted on 25,000.
    Those people eh...

    ReplyDelete

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