How did you find out that you were the side chic/boyfriend to the person you were dating? what was your reaction?
A Friend told me how he felt finding out he was a side piece to a babe he thought was crazy over him and he was even doing shakara for.... I asked him how he found out and he said he saw her wedding invitation two days after they spent the night together and had almost 4 rounds.. She told him the things she didn't like about him, asked him to change so they wouldn't have problems when they marry, then she had her bath and walked off to her traditional marriage to someone else..... LMAO!
I asked him, how it was possible he didn't know and he said he suspected she was up to something but thought she wanted to surprise him with something so he kept quiet about it.... I said well, she surprised you didn't she? LOL
He wished her well and moved on to the next....
How did you find out and what was your reaction?
Let's gist!
I was in his house and another babe visited, I no even wait for explanation, I just took my purse and left. All his calls and texts I didn't reply. That was how the relationship ended.
ReplyDeleteLast last, he's married to the same lady and they have two boys now. Thank God I left without looking back.
i was dating a girl (she is good on bed) real good..i do not know that she have a serious relationship that is leading to marriage, when i found out, i ask her why is she doing it..she told me that her serious relationship is a distance one....since that day, i dey fear women...after she get married, she told me that she want to discuss something very important with me, so she travelled down to the state i am, she lodge in a hotel and told me to come to the hotel to see her, i went there,,if not for GOD, i would have have sex with her...thank GOD, i do not do it....but her body was tempting.. i dont want to sleep with a married woman...
ReplyDeleteMine was similar to yours. Me na dream, I get too see things before they happen. So 18 month before I had a dream I told Oga. He swear with everything fast forward r 18th month last March I had a dream she was pregnant. I called Oga “ I said she is pregnant” Oga said who? As if I knew I was a side chick He was shock cos he found out that morning I had the dream. I end the call till date. I didn’t Reply any messages from him. He tried everything and still trying but no response from my end.
DeleteNever been in that situation. But I feel its good for people to open up before entering a relationship so one partner doesnt feel used when the other walks away.
ReplyDeleteHis aunt told me he had 2kids from his babe and an incoming one from another babe, she just called me suddenly and told me that her mind has been disturbing her, that she needs to tell me, that I seem like a good and nice girl.I never knew all these, mumu me still continued to chook head till I looked myself in the mirror, and asked me, wat a pretty girl like u, is doing with such a tout. That was how I received sense and moved on, till I met my wonderful husband.
ReplyDeleteThank God say you receive sense. That's how a lot of these low-self esteem girls enter into hard and estranged relationships.
DeleteI know one fine chic, she just became the 6th baby mama to one useless and jobless tout. A girl my cousin literally begged to marry him. Just a shame!!!
@Anon 17:16 hmmm my dear forgetooooh love can turn one into a mumu eeeeyah I pity the girl sha, 6th baby mama nawaooooh
DeleteI found out I was a side chick when I saw his family pix on facebook.Guy man has 3 kids but he told me he was single . To think his friends used to tease him about being single in my presence meanwhile guyman was married. All of them were just using me to catch cruise.
ReplyDeleteI cried and moved on jare.
None will miss their reward from deceit
DeleteBoy friend wahala are for those that have energy.
ReplyDeleteMen know what they want once they sees it.
Until he pays dowry and collects the long listed items ,you are still a side chick.
A full time woman is the one they take home to mama.
Some of them likes to play before they settle down.
*like*
Delete*see*
DeleteI dated him for three years, he even told me he will like my wedding dress to have shape with pregnancy, using all tricks to get me preggy. I went to his house when he least expected, scooped around and saw his traditional wedding card hidden in his drawer. I was heart broken and left despite all the nonsense he was vomiting as pleas, I never looked back. I thank God, I married my class and someone better
ReplyDeleteShe was every basic thing a guy needs in a woman. Calls unlimitedly, anytime without recourse and everytime my cousin decides not to pic it often one big issue. She invites him to her place and never bothers visiting his place, cause that one never stays home and has a number of people at his place squatting almost every time.
ReplyDeleteA very dutiful girlfriend, to the extent she was finally unveiled to the family after a year and six months. As the "one". A months and two weeks, later she was somewhere in the east having her traditional and church weddings. Then came back to base as if nothing has changed. Not until my cousin, found an open email congratuting her and addressed her as a Mrs somebody.
People also willingly become sidechics/sidecocks(hehehe, dunno if this second one is a real word o)
ReplyDeleteI know of someone who is a sidechic to a married man, they started when she was "single" (in a relationship with a serious guy), she's married now. Mr married man sponsored her wedding, they tried to stop 6 months to her wedding, but 2 months after wedding, they resumed again.
They are still together as I type.
How do I know? They didn't really hide it before she got married..
Now that she is, they try to hide it but we still dey see them for secret corners.
Okay, I am a willing side chic to a married man.
ReplyDeleteWe started off as friends, we met in our line of work, he resides in my state but his family is about 8 hours away(by road).
Before long, we were spending too much time together. And yea, one day, clothes went off and he gave me head...that still drives me crazy.
When he goes to be with his family, I do NOT call or message him or reach out at all unless he does.
I wipe our chats by myself before he travels on his phone, sometimes we shop for his wife together.
We both have boundaries we never cross esp with our partners (I am in a relationship and he knows).
I handle huge cash deals for him and help with some errands, he pays all my bills and takes care of my immiediate family.
I keep telling myself I will stop as soon as my partner proposes.
But will I really?
The problem is old habits never die.
DeleteI pray your parter turned
Husband doesn't bludgeon you when he finds out
Walkaway
Nne what you're doing is commendable and worthy of recognition so why are you not calling or texting him when he goes home ? Why do you wipe the chats? You should be proud of yourself. No ? Why?
DeleteLook at the way you packaged this rubbish and make it look like a good meal. Shebi you will marry. SMH
DeleteDon't worry ehn
DeleteThe one that slept with a woman so close to her trad. Hope he used condom. She could have gotten pregnant and passed the pregnancy to her husband. They say a lot of firstborns are products of closure away match before the wedding
ReplyDeleteThat's how one hediot wanted to use me as a rebound,he wanted to get me preggy without marriage, had side chicks all over( snooped) I received sense and took a walk and never looked back,so so happy.
ReplyDeleteThere is the guy I started dating early this year. He told me his mum is always disturbing him for marriage and he is ready to settle. I started falling in love and he was always calling me. It was a long distance relationship. Later, his calls started reducing each time I complained, he always tell me his work schedule is tight. He did his birthday on Tuesday only for me to see him posting him and his wife pics on his WhatsApp status. He was presented a cake tagged HBD sweety. I felt hurt but I thank that sex wasn't involved. I have not confronted him. I stopped communicating with him and he hasn't call me since then. I pray I meet my better half.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry about your experience. Please don't communicate with him or give him audience. The only thing he can offer are more lies and manipulation. He is another woman's burden. Wish them the best and thank God for the revelation and lesson.
DeletePlz do not communicate.Do not reply if he reaches out. Block him everywhere!
DeleteNa my own mumu pass. Dated this lady for 5 years. She told me she was single. I believed her. Until months into our relationship, she and her guy came to my house. I didn't know who he was. They were speaking in their language. He started beating her up in my presence. I didn't know if he was her relation or whatever, so I strongly warned him to leave or I'd have attacked him. He dragged her out and they left. I called her and she told me never to call her line again. She later called me and apologized. She told me that was her ex. Foolish me I believed her lies. I was all too trusting.
ReplyDeleteYears later, I found out she was double dating and sleeping around. She was still in a relationship with that guy and others. How did I find out? I went to zenith Bank to withdraw money. As I was leaving, I saw a vision clear as a TV screen. It was my girl with her supposed ex making love. It shook me to the point I sat down beside the gutter. I mustered all my nerves together, placed a call to her and asked her that has she been sleeping with her supposed ex? She said yes. I went on to ask, has this thing been going on for the entire years I've been with you? She said yes. She asked me how did I find out? I told her not to worry. She pleaded and all. I simply moved on.
I never blamed her. She was ready for marriage. I wasn't. He wanted to marry her but she never liked him. He was free with the money, I wasn't. I was giving her mind blowing sex, he could barely last for a few minutes. She is a good woman though. Even though very confused and naive. A man has found out you have been stringing him along all along and you still think you have a future together?
The sex was explosive! Some of the best I ever had till date. I mean..who says no to great sex? Mentally, I had zoned out. I turned the tables on her. She became the side piece.
Next thing she saw, was my wedding on Facebook.
And Karma gave you a punch too... because you keep whining about marrying
Deletethe wrong one 🤣
I can finally talk about this, thank you Stella.
ReplyDeleteSome years back, while I was still studying (part-time). Our lecture was only on weekends (Saturdays and Sundays).
Then I lived and was been sponsored by my Uncle and his Wife. I would take care of the kids during the week and go to school on weekends. My Uncle and his wife, although very nice but were also very strict. I knew I had no business having a boyfriend while I was still under their roof. So, life for me was simple and great.
Fast forward to my 3rd yr in school. Although I was still under their roof, I was a grown woman and their rules hadn't changed. So it was going to be done secretly.
I met a very handsome guy, nice ascent, foreign academic background, a professional, living in a comfortable apartment. He was settled.
The problem was, he lived in the Island while I was in the mainland and secondly, with my living arrangements, there was no time for a boyfriend.
He suggested I skip Sunday classes and spend it with him. That was what I did.
I thought I was in a committed relationship. MUMU ME.
I had sex with him on every visit. He was my first.
He treated me like I was the Queen of his castle. He made me think I was with the man God has made just for me. He gave me passcode to his Estate gate. Even his banking PIN.
Do you all want to know how that so much good and loving relationship ended? I was made to JUMPED through the Window.
On Saturday night Oga had called me expressing his desire to marry me How I have made him the happiest he has ever been. He was proposing marriage to me on the phone, I told him to wait till I come over the next day. You can imagine how I slept, all dreamy. So, the following day, i abandoned school and went o.
After doing the do, just when we were about to eat.
He saw a shadow on the Window, so he rushed to see then they met at the door and he prevented the person from coming in . Me I was on my undies so I thought it was the reason, until I heard " Darling what are you doing " eeh ehe. What is going on? I asked him, he shush me up and instructed me to leave through the kitchen quickly. While I was dressing, the girl was giving him slaps here and there. I couldn't believe my eyes. So all these has been one big calculated LIE against me.
She was his fiancée and I was just a passing thing. I lost my virginity and my dignity.
So sorry you had to learn from your own bitter experience...
DeleteYikes. This is sad
DeleteSorry
May God punish him! They don't do this to virgins nahhhhh! Why sample a virgin punani for goodness sake!
DeleteSo sorry anon
DeleteHope u in a better place
That guy no try!
You didn't lose anything. You only gained wisdom. The moment I read he was comfortable with you skipping school, I knew something was up.
DeleteA responsible man could have come home to discuss with your aunt and uncle and drive you back after classes or visit you in the evenings when they are home. When men are doing the search, they should be the ones to bend over backwards. It helps even after many years in marriage because such efforts increases respect.
The covering of your relatives would have served you better than thinking you were smart: even if the guy asked that you sneak around when your niece and nephew are there, you'd have realised he is a randy joker and said no. If you were dating with the knowledge of your family, you most likely won't have slept with him.
You also won't be able to sneak around Lagos with him because your aunt and uncle were aware of the relationship and would know where you were if you lingered.
Thank God, you didn't find out his status after abortions or a child out of wedlock. This same man who was your first and promised heaven and earth did not care if you broke your leg for another woman that did not even send you and was slapping her property back to fidelity. That is confidence of ownership.
Now, you've learned you are the prize, not the one to compete.
If you apply this wisdom, your own man won't tarry and your bond will be sweet.
U don’t deserve this. It’s ok. Life’s unfair. When he told u to skip Sunday classes for him, I knew he wasn’t great.
Delete100% write-up
DeleteSo sorry you had to go through all that.
ReplyDeleteYour lecturer was wasting his time in class knowing you have only 2 days per week for studies. Your uncle and his wife are wasting their funds trying to give you good education. Despite all these good deeds from people that are not your parents you failed them.l am not judging you but fornication never ends well. When the Bible says flee fornication it knew what it was saying but sinful pleasures will always want to counter Gods word. Lessons learnt l am sure.Your virginity was cheapened by this singular act. May God forgive you. May your uncle ,his wife and your lecturer also forgive you.
ReplyDelete