Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative

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Saturday, June 19, 2021

Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative

Hmmmm.....









STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
AT A CROSS ROAD


My friend and her husband have been having issues..

 The man has zero respect for her. He prefers taking to her domestic staff and children than talking to his wife. They act like strangers at home. The man has a small company which is very close to their house while the lady is a public servant. One faithful day. She needed money and called her husband for some money.


 The husband asked her to meet the secretary and collect a particular amount. She went to her husband's company to collect the money from the hubby secretary. The secretary refused and asked her to call her boss in her presence. My friend told the young lady that it is her hubby that sent her. The secretary refused to give her the money. 


She has been suspecting her husband has an affair with the secretary. She got angry and slapped the lady. The lady called her husband and immediately the man came. He panel beat the wife in the presence of his staff. His workers gathered to plead with him to leave her. Though the man has begged her, my friend has given her husband ultimatum either to sack the secretary or she will leave with her children. 

This particular case has attracted parents and the man insisted he will never sack the secretary
My friend is in a cross road on what next to do:





*Sacking her will not solve the problem at all....
Most Nigerian men are in a love or gbenshing relationship with their secretaries oh...
You should, I mean Your friend should look for the root cause of why the hubby likes to embarrass her before others, if there is no reason then she don enter one chance. I really dont know what to advice you (I mean her) at this stage my dear.

74 comments:

  1. Sack? Say wetin happen? Is she the cause of your hubby's infidelity? Tell her to get a grip joor

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. If it were the other way round and the husband wasn't comfortable about a certain man's presence, won't he tell his wife his fears and expect her to oblige?

      The truth is that your friends husband doesn't respect her and she's already married. It will take the grace of God for him to change himself.

      She should get ready for more disrespect

      Delete
    2. That marriage is GONE. The sooner your friend realises this the better for her. When you want to try to solve a problem you do so from the central point. The central point in all this the man himself. The man is the one who set the tone for his secretary to disrespect the wife. What happened to calling the husband herself? Instructing the wife to call husband 'in her presence' is a gross insult. And the husband is the one who also set the tone for the wife to be so triggered to react the way she did. And the best reaction the man could come up with is to beat his wife? That one nor do, he topped it up with doing it in front of his staff! Even if the wife is a wannabe Anthony Joshua, doing that is a no no. I don't know if he is having any affair but right here is a gigantic red flag for that marriage.
      Upon all this, your friend is giving ultimatums? That is a huge over estimation of her value to the man. You give ultimatums to those who respect and value you not to people who have shown the opposite. Ok, he has answered and made his choice and she is still at 'crossroads'. Madam had better cross to the other side of that road and move on. Sacking the secretary is equivalent to using a bandaid on a broken leg and is not a solution. She should wake up and smell the coffee and stop holding on to a dead marriage.

      Delete
  2. When communication breaks down in marriages, things like these are bound to happen.

    Please, let your friend look into the mirror and start solving the problems from inwards

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This is exactly what happened to my aunt, soteey the secretary come dey claim boss. When the wife found out that her husband is not willing to fire the girl, she tried plan B. One Saturday morning, she told him that she is going to church, not knowing that she is heading to the office. She told the girl to pack her things and leave the place for good or she will not like what she is capable of doing to her next time. The wife won the battle though the husband settled the lady with huge sum.

      Delete
    2. See me SMH at your comment 16:14. Women are really going through a lot in marriages sha. Makes me wonder why the so much happiness on the wedding day but na dem dey go suffer pass. From one battle to the other. Ahn! The only thing I've never and will never envy in life is marriage. God knows it's not for me. Anybody wey wan choke make e hug transformer join. I no do.

      Delete
    3. 20:25, Lord knows this has been my mindset for almost 3 years now. Marriage ke

      Delete
    4. Please come let me wife you as we be single and me no dey like drama

      Delete
    5. May God give her wisdom @poster

      Delete
  3. I cannot fight for a marriage alone sha.
    If you're done, then I'll respect your wishes.
    This man is obviously done, it's either you stay , suffering g and smiling, or you pick up the pieces and move on.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Linda!!! come and show poster where she will go and nack pigeon for the secretary head. This one na jazz mata.

      Delete
    2. 😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘

      Delete
  4. How can your friend be at a cross road? She presented 2 options to her husband, and he has made his pick.
    She knows what to do but just isn't being truthful with herself or just doesn't want to confront her fears yet.
    Her husband does not value her, point blank period.
    Whatever decision she chooses to make with that information is solely in her hands.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Apt comment πŸ‘

      Delete
    2. Oil dey your head.

      Delete
    3. πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘

      Delete
  5. You slapped the secretary.
    He panel beat you.

    Too much violence going on. I can’t..
    I hope you find a way to mend your home.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. There is no home there

      Delete
    2. I don't think there's home there. For her husband to have such audacity to beat the wife in front of his staff all because of the secretary. It means a whole lot. Hmmmm, I'm speechless on what to advise.

      Delete
  6. See finish has entered. Is there any boss that doesn't bang his workers? Hohohohohohohohoho😁😁

    Sorry madam. He wont stop, even if he fires her, he will still bang d next one.

    ReplyDelete
  7. If Im the secretary I wont give her the money too without confirming from oga.
    The slapping the secretary is too much.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ermmm...but secretaries aren't usually in the possession of company money...accountants are! I highly doubt that the man would give her the money without first telling her whom and what it is for. Or??

      Even if the boss asked her to go and get the money from the accountant, as a competent professional, I would assume she would ask the man what it was for. Unless, she truly is his side-chick and she assumed the money was her "allowance".

      Delete
    2. If I am the secretary, I would need a confirmation before giving out the money. Its possible the man did not inform or give permission to the secretary to give out the money. It does not matter if it's the wife collecting. Aside that, most women see female secretaries as their rivals even when they are not so I'm not surprised at the woman's reaction but that was to the extreme. She shamed herself fighting with the secretary.
      Everybody need to check themselves in the relationship as both of them have faults that seem to be affecting their feelings for each other.

      Delete
    3. What stops the secretary from calling oga to confirm instead of asking madam to call her husband in her presence, as per what nahhh? Let's assume madam was a client who came and told the secretary to release funds on oga's order, will the secretary ask the client to call oga in her presence or the reserve should be case? Madam went too far slapping the secretary, but nothing gave the secretary the right to act the way she did even if she is gbenshing the oga.

      Delete
    4. But as a secretary, it is your duty to call your boss and confirm whether to disburse, be it the boss' wife or a supplier or anybody, you should pick up the phone yourself and call!
      The wife is wrong for slapping the rude sec though and oga is wrong for beating his wife, if you don't want her, ask for a divorce don't be an unfortunate fellow, maadam, find your happiness somewhere else, respect yourself if your husband doesn't!

      Delete
    5. When a man reduces the wife to rags in front of others

      He has permitted gross disrespect

      Delete
  8. The secretary isn't her problem at all.
    Instead of putting out the fire, she is looking for the matches that was struck to cause the fire.
    She gave an ultimatum; yes
    She erred in judgment; yes
    It is time to take back her ultimatum and seek to work out her marriage for
    God and children sake.
    Her character is also not polished; seeing that she slapped a lady for not
    honoring her demand.
    If she could slap an outsider, what does she do to or tell her husband inside her house?
    Tell your friend to work on herself; find Christ who died for her, fast/pray and study the Scriptures
    to improve her character. By so doing,
    the man can be won without words.
    Before the attackers talk about my singling out the woman. It was a woman who sought advice on what to "tell her friend." Whatever piece of advice I give here does not get to
    the man but the woman

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. God bless you, you will never lack wisdom in your life

      Delete
  9. Like I always say, May we never marry idiots as husbands because what is this???

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This is the real koko... may we not marry idiotic men because I cannot even begin to imagine this

      Delete
    2. 😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘

      Delete
    3. As in , what's the heck???

      Delete
  10. St Elsewhere Phoenix19 June 2021 at 15:13

    Stella stoppet 🀣🀣🀣🀣. My dear Poster you are a good friend but your friend needs to sort this one.

    The man had no iota of respect since 1900 but she chose not to see or felt she can endure. Even if the secretary is sacked, it won't solve the problem because other staff have no respect for her and who know he may be gbenshing the ladies. Tell her to be careful and have a plan B. All the best.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Poster if you are the person in picture, why not come out and explain to us more so that we can understand you well

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. What other explanations are you requesting? Does it matter if she is the one or not?

      Delete
  12. That secretary is mad. Oga horseband is mad.

    Madam take your children away. Even if he begged, set your standard. He should chose between you and the secretary.

    Don't allow the secretary to win. Na you get your horseband and do what it takes to bring your home back.

    You can still arrange guys to beat oga too make he feels the pain.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Do you know the woman's behaviour at home?

      Delete
    2. 1000 likesπŸ‘

      Delete
  13. Ehhhrrr, so you know how to slap people in public but won't take same?
    Odiegwu o.
    A lady tiger simply married a he tiger.
    Welcome to the tiger zoo
    When people say, give your lives to Christ, study the bible and watch war room and the likes and have peace
    in your home, you ladies mock
    them. Yea, this is the kind of life you sign for when you don't seek God.
    πŸ™„πŸ™„πŸ™„πŸ™„πŸ™„πŸ™„πŸ™„πŸ™„πŸ™„

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Bitter truth! They marry their spec and come to cry when chips are down.

      Delete
    2. Same way men marry their spec then begin to complain bitterly and find excuses to cheat.

      Delete
  14. The things Nigerian women go through in the name of marriage. Tufia

    ReplyDelete
  15. Did she expect to be at a round about after walking herself to a crossroad?
    😝😝😝😝😝😝😝😝😝😝😝😝😝
    I don't pity anyone who slaps first in any altercation.
    Woman, correct your character, submit to your husband before you can correct him.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Define submission. You guys just throw words anyhow.

      Delete
    2. Being a wife is not a ticket to being perfect, without fault and blemishes nope. Being a wife is you being recognised by law but in no way means you are a victim because this is the only thing Nigerian women know how to do better, playing victims while they do exactly what men do, sleeping around with their bosses, paternity fraud, hating in laws, disrespecting their jobless husbands... Adesua is not a victim, she and Jude had their problem long before we even knew anything about them except instagram pictures and Jude being a footballer. She changed her name back to her maiden name and removed all their pictures on their pages since 2019. Jud is SINGLE AND SEPARTED, HE CAN DATE AND SLEEP WITH WHOEVER HE WANTS, CRY TODAY, CRY TOMORROW AND FOREVER IT WILL NOT STOP HIS MILLIONS HUNGRY BATS.

      Delete
  16. In this situation, the wife is wrong. The secretary’s employer is the man, she is well within her right to confirm from the man, her boss. What I find demeaning is asking the wife to make the call in her presence. She should have made the call herself, just the way she did after the slap. It’s obvious they have a relationship going on, but wifey didn’t handle this well.
    Now the wife is at crossroads? After making a threat she couldn’t follow through with? The rule of the game is simple:
    1) wait and pray he changes
    2) stay in the marriage and take the insults, not caring if he changes
    3) pack and go
    The key thing is respect. Ask, what can she do NOW to gain his respect? What is missing? Where did the marriage go wrong? Has he always being like this?
    I will suggest she separates for a while and later they can have the long, difficult conversation on what went wrong. Clear ground rules have to be set if she wants to remain in that marriage with her sanity intact. But can she afford a separation?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. @Mystic,
      What if the Oga called the secretary and told her not to give his wife the money when she come?
      Maybe that's was the reason she told her to call her husband in her presence. By doing that, the oga will repeat himself in the presence of his secretary and wife.

      If the secretary is the cause of their marital woe, don't you think she would have slap the madam back to show her that she is truly lashing oga and she the wife can't do anything.

      The oga and the secretary may not be dating. Maybe the the secretary is the one on a crossroad of either to obey her oga and secure her job or to obey her madam and lose her job.

      That kind of woman that can slap her husband's employee because of her imagination is capable of talking anyhow which will trigger the secretary not to explain things to her.

      What if the secretary tried to explain things to her why she said she should call her husband in her presence but she shut her up?

      Think dear, think..

      Delete
    2. How can you even be giving an ultimatum to a man that doesn't care not respect you.

      When I tell people that when looking for a spouse, look for one who has respect and conscience before anything, they think I am joking.

      Delete
    3. @Anno 8:12, I disagree with you.
      We have to be careful with the ‘what ifs’. The secretary would have told her - ‘Oga said I shouldn’t give you any money’. Or would have called her Oga and told him ‘your wife is here, what should I do’?
      The chronicle said he has zero respect, not that he plays childish games like telling his wife one thing and the secretary another.

      Delete
  17. Na jazz tins na. Very clear. No matter how beautiful a lady is, she's naturally afraid of the wife of a man she's dating. When she becomes unusually bold, you should know that someone is beating the drum she's dancing to.

    For a man to choose to keep secretary over keeping his home, what else do you think is causing it? If the secretary is carrying his specifications of a woman, why didn't he wait to meet that kind of woman before marrying. Abeg tell your friend to pray away that secretary. Una sabi fight battles physically, na why dis babes dem dey win. Person waka cross water, talk direct to Satan and im pipo, you wan use mouth and wife power fight am. Say you be who? Una neva ready.

    The day women start seeing the power they wield in their homes, that's the day their marital woes will start diminishing. There are some things you shouldn't be told as a woman for Christ's sake. Women fight on your knees!!! Life is really simple if you just turn over everything to God. Yes, problems will come, in streams sef, but victory is sure when Oluwa is fully involved.

    Suffice it to say that his previous treatment of dosdain for her started when the secretary embarked on her spiritual journey. It started manifesting on the home front. She didn't know that it had really deteriorated. God just wanted to her to see how far gone her husband is gone that's why what happened at his office happened.

    Let me end with this story I read in Dr. Olukoya's book. A man went astray. Brought the side hen, sorry old layer home and chased his wife away. Madam cried, later fell ill and was admitted in the hospital. During her stay there, some ministers came and led her to Christ. She now told them her story. They gave her prayer points to pray the strange woman away. Within three weeks of praying, side piece strangely fell ill, was taken to the hospital. Doctors said she had cancer and it was far gone. Oga never went back to the hospital. She died. The man came back to his senses and their home was restored.

    Your friend should take up serious fasting, night vigils and release thunder to scatter every nonsense that secretary has done. Her home will be restored. She should also henceforth, maintain her home with prayer. Marriage no be beans.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Women steady fighting and maintaining marriages in this our UAR.
      Na so my uncle beat Im wife and son join because they asked him who the heck does his P.A think age is.
      She spent her whole middle age praying and fasting.
      Las las the man moved out by himself and married an entire different person sef.
      Now, she's pushing 70, worn out, sad and bitter jumping from one childs house to the other causing commotion .
      My mantra:
      Whether you stay with a cheating mam or leave, make peace with it and be happy.

      Delete
    2. E no be beans my dear, you are πŸ’―% right.PUSH ...PRAY UNTIL SOMETHING HAPPENS.

      Delete
    3. You are very correct. More power to your elbow!

      Delete
    4. @Anon Dee - 15.44,

      Now her children know she was the one who wrecked her marriage. A woman who suffered at her husband's hand and is causing commotion in her children homes drove her husband into that PA's arms.

      Some women like playing the victim when their marriage broke down, but they are the tigresses and trouble makers, quietly running their husbands crazy and out of their homes.

      Why did the Poster or her friend slap the Secretary? She did it because she felt her husband is sleeping with her. And that may not be true.

      Delete
    5. Lmao. Who in this world beats their whole wife because she slapped the secretary.
      Omo. E be like say we read different articles oo.
      Who in this life choses their secretary over their wife leaving their marriage.
      E be like say we read different articles oo.
      As for my aunts story, you never know the power of a bad marriage until you see it happen for your front.
      May we not marry idiots as either husband or wife.
      I'm just imagining if it's a woman that did this. Fighting her husband because he slapped her male staff. O ga di egwu oo

      Delete
  18. You know, when you fight too much, it's as if you don't have plans for yourself, the woman should brave up and do whatsoever is on her mind, I mean anything.

    ReplyDelete
  19. Women sha, even if the man is sleeping with the secretary you have no right to have slapped her. I can imagine how poorly she must be treating her house help. Your problem isn't with any of these people but your horseband and like a commenter said, she's not at any crossroad, she gave two options but the man no send am. If that woman should pack out of her home, that guy won't even beg her. She needs to identify the root cause of her problems with her husband and deal with that rather than spreading her frustration and anger to everyone.

    ReplyDelete
  20. Nawa ooo. I like Stella response.. Just tell us say na you dey cross road...

    Anyways you should have told the secretary to call him instead and you dont have any right to slap her.

    Now to your problem, are you sure your husband is not suspecting you are cheating on him with some else? If you are then why are you complaining?
    You dey collect outside and Oga dey collect outside.. everybody dey collect so no come here dey disturb us.

    If you are not, then you need to proof it to him and walk on you both communication issues.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You are indeed crazy ooo!

      Delete
  21. See how the poster subtly said her friend slapped the secretary,laying little emphasis on the genesis of the problem.What kind of wife goes to her husbands office and slaps his secretary and what kind of man beats up his wife at all but at his office for that matter?looks like your friend and her husband deserve each other.

    ReplyDelete
  22. She needs to take a walk. Throw him out and move on with the children. Gone are the days when women suffer and stay alone after the end of a marriage. If na boo u want a new one will come. If na to dey work e Dey.

    ReplyDelete
  23. TF!!! *sighs** women dey try.
    In my opinion, this is not a marriage. He communicates to staff instead of talking to your friend directly! He obviously does not think she is worth it. Thats why I am in support of seperation. That period of seperation can reset his brain or can even fully make your friend come to an understanding of what she truly wants. I hope your friend makes a wise choice. Goodluck to her.

    ReplyDelete
  24. Let her watch ‘war room’ and go for anger management therapy.
    She had no right slapping the secretary.
    Her husband probably has no regard for her because of the way she carries herself anyhow. Is she a tout or what? So if the secretary had slapped her back, that’s how they would have ended up throwing punches and most like naked in her husband’s company. I’m ashamed for her.

    If my husband’s secretary disrespects me in such a manner by telling me to call my husband in her presence instead of calling her Boss to confirm for formality sake, I would not say pim I would leave with my dignity intact but she better be looking up job vacancies.

    Just like it’s hard for a woman to submit to a husband that doesn’t love her it’s also hard for a man to love a wife that has no respect for him and others. Him preferring to talk to their house helps instead of his wife might just be his own way of avoiding unnecessary quarrels and keeping sane in his own house.

    I may be wrong, because I don’t have the full picture but this is my opinion based on the facts given.

    ReplyDelete
  25. ...My only question is how do grown adults go about slapping grown adults? How? Why? See how the slap was mentioned like it is a negligible thing.

    You do know that the husband can tell the wife to go collect money from the secretary, and still call the secretary that if his wife comes to ask for money, claiming he sent her, her job will be on the line if she does it. Nobody might be sleeping with anybody in this scenario, just people playing mind games and a man clearly tired of the union.
    2 things you do not take on your face from anybody: their fist and their spit! The secretary did not even slap the woman back, what a very tolerant person!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I agree. Slapping the secretary was wrong. Madam she does not report to you, but even if you were her direct employer, the civil thing to do is fire her. Slap is a no no as she can still sue you for physical harm. She did not even slap you back in defense, so really your hubby has no grounds to fire her. Should he fire her cos of your emotions.. you have no proof of infidelity! What if she is great at her work? In a civil country she can sue him for firing without valid reason. We also don't know if you were rude in your approach asking her for money.

      I've commented before but had to rethink it all.

      Delete
  26. Not all men sleeps with their secretary, the boss should have informed his secretary before his wife comes or better still, the wife should have called the man to instruct the secretary in her presence. The secretary doesn't have power to release money without oga's instruction. It doesn't mean the man is having an affair with his secretary.

    ReplyDelete
  27. Be careful before giving ultimatums in you dealings with your spouse. You don't know how fed up the person may be of all he or she has been enduring from you. They may just decide to call your bluff and damn the consequences. Then you will be left to either save your face or take the route you never expected.

    In reality, many men are fed up with their wives as a result of 'see finish' and disrespect. They only hold on out of a sense of responsibility. If you push them too much, they won't look back on their way out. Many women just stay because of the kids or the comfort or the prestige our society confers on married women. Many women are also tired.

    God's ways are the best. Husbands, love your wives. Wives respect your husband's. Commit your marriages into God's hands and it shall be well no matter the storms that blow.

    Shalom.

    ReplyDelete
  28. BVs are funny o! You all are blaming the wife for slapping the secretary ignoring that the man beat her up in front of his employees.

    Madam poster, tell your friend the truth. Husband is not interested in the marriage anymore. She should leave the marriage and go for therapy so she can get her peace of mind and self esteem back.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That's the exact picture.No matter what the wife did ,the husband had no right to lay hands on her.I think the women's suspicions are correct because the man clearly values his secretary more than his wife.The marriage is over already.The man has left long ago.

      Delete
  29. I don't why God couldn't just make us a single specie, some ladies have nothing to add to a man, you will be single and form humble, wash, clean, cook, pamper the man, endure his cheating, be fasting and praying upandan for the man to marry you, some of you even do jazz for a man to marry you and then once he does you attain the status of Alpha and Omega. Madam you gave your husband an ultimatum and he picked, what are you waiting for to pack out?

    Why won't you women be wise in your dealings?
    Why slap his secretary? U want to show that you are in control? Why issue ultimatums upandan? Men don't like controlling women biko.

    Please as a woman if u can't be meek, respectful,wise and forgiving then please do not marry.

    ReplyDelete
  30. You BVs are funny.You are bashing a woman for slapping her husbands secretary.In other words ,if a governor's wife slaps her husbands female secretary or aide ,the husband should beat her black and blue?

    The marriage is over.The man swore to honor ,love and cherish his wife unlike the secretary who should be just an employee.The worst is that the secretary will get her boss wife arrested and charged for assault not the man descending on the wife and beating her black and blue
    HOw does a through beating equate to a slap? The man has obviously lost all the respect he has for the wife and has been giving her signals that the marriage is over but she is not getting them,now he made it clear by giving her premium shame in front of his employees! The employees bad to beg the man to stop beating her.Poster please advice your friend to leave that marriage with the little dignity she has left ,that's if there's any.

    ReplyDelete

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