Hmm.....
NARRATIVE ONE
WEIRD FEELING
Good day house.....
Is it me that has a problem? I don't enjoy s#x all the time and see it as stress.
I can stay 3months before sleeping with my husband .If I see that my husband wants s#x,i can create a quarrel for weeks to keep him away .
We have our separate rooms. He can't understand me ,at times I prefer companionship not s#x. Atimes I find s#x irritating and my husband does not mind everyday.
I am tired. I don't know how he will feel if I tell him how I feel......
It is better you tell him cause the method you have devised will eventually scatter your marriage...How can you look for quarrel and make it last for months cos of s#x? that is my opinion is a wicked thing to do.
It is better you tell him cause the method you have devised will eventually scatter your marriage...How can you look for quarrel and make it last for months cos of s#x? that is my opinion is a wicked thing to do.
Discuss it with him if possible or begin to give him without complaining!
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NARRATIVE TWO
HEART BROKEN
I had had a friend named Kelly ,we have been close friends for a long time and i always tell him everything about my life , recently he started acting sweet and buying gifts for me and all that as if he wanted to date me...
Some months ago he asked someone to tell me that he is not interested in me , started body shaming me, and told me he has a cute girlfriend that he will soon get married to, I was so so heartbroken ,I deleted everything about him from my life from pictures to like everything I never want to see him ever again , am I being too harsh on him? I am just a lady so broken hearted.
*He made you think he wanted to ask you out and then sent someone to drop info that he is seeing someone and all? what a wicked human being. You are not being harsh at all.. he does not deserve to be in your life at all.... Dont feel bad.
Poster2 your story has a gap.he just woke up and told u all that? Sounds like you started catching feelings and hounding him n he had to fix you d hard way.
ReplyDeletePoster 2 this yiur dtory is n9t complete nhaa. What led him to dend someone to give you that message? Why did he start body shaming you? Something definitely led to it...biko complete the story
DeleteBlackBerry you got it. Please you ladies should always say the truth when sending in your stories. It won't hurt at all. You send chronicle for candid advise be candid too.
DeleteFirst poster, I don't think you love your husband..
Lovelace
Poster 2
ReplyDeletewhat I found confusing and appalling is that he did not have the boldness to
confront you and tell you the truth.
He sent someone else?
Would you have liked to marry a coward, are you one?
I wouldn't block such a man. I will just keep quiet and watch him and his new catch. Nothing to quarrel about in this life.
But above all, find Jesus and he will lead you to love, yes, true Love.
🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🌺
Yes ooo only Jesus can love you unconditionally. Love God, love yourself and love others. All the best babe. What he is shaming you for is what another will love about you poster 2. Just try to work on your self esteem which has taken a hit.
DeletePoster 1 have you tried seeing a psychologist for counseling to get to the root of your repulsion for sex. When you do that, you will then need therapy along side your husband. All is not lost in this. But try to accommodate your husband for now and think good thoughts.
Not fair to torture your husband like that. People dat dont like sex should look for their type, open up n say it before u hoodwink someone n start starving him of his right. Oga if you are reading this, send her to her parents abeg or get a helping hand. Imagine if the reverse was d case..
ReplyDeleteWhat do you mean by ‘get a helping hand’ BB?
DeleteOP, have you always been like this or you are lacking something in your marriage like say..Romance and having a connection with your husband. Some husbands confuse sex for romance and tend to just hit it without foreplay and bonding.
You need to open up to your husband because you are ruining your marriage by distancing yourself from him. Make out time and go on romantic trips..meet him halfway. You can’t expect him to know what you prefer when you are busy ambushing him with unnecessary quarrels unless you don’t mind him stepping out on you.
I don't enjoy sex too but I think there is a remedy to boosting your libido. Soak date and tigernut in water for like half a day to soften it and then blend and take Luke twice a day morning and night. This was recommended to me by a friend I confided in, I have not tried it but since we are in same boat its worth the try. Good luck
DeleteI can totally relate with poster 1, though I don't look for reasons to quarrel, I just give in because he wants it and the annoying thing is that he wants it daily,it has almost kill my urge for sex, most times I am half there, I have tried to tell him nicely but he just doesn't get it, some time I get scared and worry alot.( I am always worried about most things, God help me ☹️).
DeleteThe annoying part is, if I say no, he would not want to help out in the house and he will be angry, Lord help me.
Poster don't look for quarrel, that can actually destroy your marriage,try Make it 2 or 3 times weekly.
Stella kindly post only as anonymous, thanks.
Poster one you are not the only that doesn't like sex but the way you are going about it is the main problem here. Find your way around him to let him know your plight.
DeletePoster 1 why don't you discuss your fear about sex with your husband than always picking up a fight once he want sex. When you said yes to him did you ñot know that sex was one of the major assignments you have come to do.
ReplyDeleteYou better give your husband sex before one girl will take him away from you.
Poster 2 you are just harsh on yourself , dude never asked you out just felt pity for you over what you are going through in life. Boom you stated catching feelings, assuming you both are dating in your head. Never assume anything with a man until you are double sure.
Move on and stop behaving like the guy is your alpha and omega.
Poster 1,
DeleteYou didn't state how long you've been married and if it has been like this from the beginning. I will urge you to make your marriage work. You are sending him away with your quarrels. Marriage is sacrifice. It's not everytime you will want sex or enjoy it. Instead of quarrel,give in to him so you can enjoy the marriage. I do this and he is happy and we are at peace.
Why do you even have separate rooms?
Poster 1, talk to your husband about you not liking sex. It’s really not fair you know.
ReplyDeleteHope you won’t mind if he starts keeping girlfriends or marries a second wife.
Poster 2, that boy was never your friend. Did he have to tell someone else that? Why body shame you? Hope you cussed him out though. Block him from communicating with you. If he eventually comes back to apologize to you, don’t accept him back into your life.
Poster 1, you are most likely a Phlegmatic. Check your temperament and see how to go about it. Put your temperament aside a d tell yourself you need balance. Work on yourself to increase the number of time you have sex otherwise you are asking him to go out and get it. At this rate you may loose him. Is that what you want?
ReplyDeleteAll the best.
See me see wahala. Me wey like fuck wella that I fit bang everyday from january to Dec. So tomorrow now I go finally decide marry, she go begin deny me nacking when no be say she no dey very ill or something.....you don gimme pass to go outside go cure myself be that. Well all this kain story naim even make me no wan marry cos women sabi do am well well. Using sex as weapon and all. Poster one I wish your husband na my friend, I for don dash am one runs girl, her bills and venue anytime him wan cool off will be on me.
ReplyDeletePlease don't marry
DeleteYou are too selfish to even try and care WHY someone is not acting right
Marry a woman with same sexual prowess as you, simple.
DeleteIt is like you are already used to having different women. It may be difficult for you to be faithful in marriage. Or maybe you don't plan to be.
DeletePoster 1: Go with Stella's advice, discuss with your hubby or get to see a therapist. Poster 2: There's more to your story.
ReplyDeleteWhy didn’t you tell him this ‘how you feel’ before y’all got married so he can decide if he wants to put up,probably forever,with a wife that doesn’t like sex??if he cheats now we will start hearing stories about how men are scums.
ReplyDeleteMadam ur husband will soon get tired if u don't stop, I think u shld tell him, so that he will see if he will change pattern, maybe more foreplay with enough oral sex b4 the main koko. Dnt worryooooh u will get better just talk to him
ReplyDeletePoster 2, it's like that ur hubby has psychological disorder who does that, like am literally trying to wrap my head around this. He must be a sissy. Block his thoughts out of ur life biko. U are to precious for a slow poke like that.
When you hated sex too much, why did you get married? You are punishing someone's child. If your husband goes out to satisfy himself with girls, women or ashis, you will start crying wolf.
ReplyDeleteBetter sit down and have a discussion with him abi una no dey communicate?
Poster 2 sorry about this. You don't allow him cone closer again. Treat him like he is a devil or wizard. He has no right to body shame you.
Also it is not everything you tell your friend or boyfriend when you have one.
I see you as the type that keeps secret from parents but blab much to friends of what secrets you have.
Tell your secrets to God Almighty
She will call him a cheat, meanwhile she pushed him out.
DeletePoster 1,please listen to Jeweluchi's red ink o.What you are doing is not nice and won't help your marriage.
ReplyDeletePoster 2:Sorry for the way you feel,but it's not everyone that buys you things that you will be expecting to date you na.Remove that guy from your life since he went as far as sending someone to belittle you.Keep it moving,that is not your bus stop.
Poster 1: if your hubby looks outside now, you will start shouting 'what do men want?' You don't like sex? Wetin u marry for? No be one of the koko issues inside marriage be that? If u no give am, na make e hold body like single? Hmm. Una wey sabi explain the matter abeg, explain give her.
ReplyDeletePoster 2: Just try forget him. Might not be easy. That guy has nothing to offer you. Even if he returns later. Abeg go out. Flex. Try be happy. U will be good
Poster 2
ReplyDeleteWhy did he suddenly do that? Did you offend him? Una go always talk anoda person own. Una no go talk the one wey una do. Well, if you are sure that is how it happened, then you were not harsh. You were heart broken because he led you on and you probably fell in love with him. Just block him and completely ignore him if he tries to reach out again.
Poster 1
Ask God to give you the desire for sex. A lot of Christians I know that had huge appetite for sex as singles, asked God to take it away until they are ready to marry. And God did. If he can take it away, he can also give it.
Meanwhile, blend tiger nuts, coconuts and dates and drink often. It makes women wet and helps with sexual enjoyment. The memory of a lovemaking session that was enjoyed, will spur you on for another one. And before you know it, it'll become frequent.
Also, discuss it with your husband, so he too will know that you are bothered and not just treating him wrongly. You two can work on it together and make it fun. Try.
When they say marriage is not for everybody, Poster 1 is one of the reasons. Apart from talk, companionship and food, no be za oza room remain? When this innocent man finds one babe outside wey go dey satisfy am and stops "touching" you or coming home, you will be forced to send another chronicle because even the Pope go annul this kain marriage with or without children. This is me empathizing with you as I believe you consider it a big enough problem to send a chronicle about.
ReplyDeleteHas it always been like this or did it start after marriage? Have you talked to a doctor? Your mom? Could you please try to include natural aphrodisiacs (like dates, tigernut, uziza seeds etc) in your diet? Exhaust all options before you puncture the poor guy's ego. Imagine your husband telling you he doesn't "want" or "enjoy" s*x with you [anymore]. If you don't get a solution fast, you may need to say goodbye to that marriage for good but I pray it doesn't come to that. May gbola ginger and anointing fall on you immediately ma'am.
Poster 2: Bring the full story so that you can get full analysis and advice. In this "Stingy men association" era, a full dimkpa madu was using his money to buy you gifts and give you green light after years of friendship and then he suddenly turned around to start sending a third party to you with rainbow insults? How? Why? Are you sure you didn't say something nasty about him to anyone who could've reported to him? Have you called him to verify that he indeed sent the messenger? Do you have frenemies?
He sounds like he heard you say something about you being way out of his league (for a relationship). No man with a healthy ego will accept that kind of "insult" in peace. It's either you didn't bring the full gist or the guy needs urgent mental evaluation. Which is it?
Maybe he slept with her and didn't like it at all. Some men act aggressive and wicked when their expectations are not met. Or maybe she refused to have sex with him. But poster once you don't tell the full story we can only speculate and you may not get the best advice.
DeleteDear poster 1, I am just like you. We were having sex before marriage but it was once in weeks cos the relationship was long distance. I never knew I didn't like sex until I got married. I don't know if it is the stress of taking care of the kids or hormones. We manage to have it twice a week even though hubby wants it more often with more rounds and different positions. My advice is that you talk with your hubby and strike a balance. Mine doesn't get it but I sha try to talk about it.
ReplyDeletePoster 1
ReplyDeleteDon't you think you're pushing your husband into the hands of sidechic?
If he doesn't approach you in a way you like, why not teach/show him to put you in the mood?
Talk to him, if he's a caring spouse he'll assist you to look for a solution. Don't use your hand and destroy your marriage except the union has not been working before now.
Poster 2
Although, your story get as e be but hey you're not too harsh on your decision.
Don't ever be keep him as a friend in case he decide to come back.
Also, know that you're beautiful don't allow anyone to tell you otherwise
Poster1, just arrange babes for your hubby.
ReplyDeletePoster 2 block him totally
Poster1 give ur husband fuck before he fuck outside no come here they cry for us later,,,say all men r cheat u better give am bcos girls plenty ooo give urself brain.
ReplyDeletePoster2 go and sit down.
Poster 2.good for you, you wanted to snatch him fron his gf all in the name of bestie abi? I like what he did to you,it's your type that scatter relationship all in the name of friendship
ReplyDeletePoster one: Have you always been like this? I think it is a medical condition more like psychological. See a gynecologist/Sex therapist, he/she would explain better.
ReplyDeleteIt's so wrong to keep your husband aloof, he has every right to know, stop pushing him away and find courage to tell him and pursue solutions as a couple.
Communication in marriage also involve sex!!!! Please ensure you tell your partner how you liked to be served😜. It makes sex enjoyable for the two of you.
Second poster, what I gather from your write up is that you have self esteem issue. I am not faulting you, I am just stating facts based on what you wrote up there. You feel that you being on the big side is a disadvantage,your worth is not on any man, babe!!! Own your body, own yourself. Do not assume a guy's feelings unless he tells and shows you,people give mixed signals and it is for you to decipher which is real or not. Next time, don't rush to tell people about things personal to you. Study them oo and be good to yourself
ReplyDeleteThe guy in question is an asshole for him to bodyshame you and also telling people to tell you you are not his girlfriend, especially how close you guys are. There is actually no need to block him, you know what I do to people like that.. PRESS THE IGNORE BUTTON. Trust me that shit hurts all the best dear
Did she tell you she's big? Do you know if he's abusing her skin colour or tiny breast?
DeleteAt least you get what bussycoco is trying to say. She can fix in whatever defect he thinks she has where she put 'big'.
DeletePoster 1, why did you get married? See, this is why I do not believe in this push that everyone must marry and everyone must be a parent. People have to be who they are and the fact is not everyone, both women and men like sex. Marrying anyone is an agreement that sex will be a part of the marriage contract, barring extreme circumstances like health problems. You cannot marry and not expect to have sex. Nobody should be forced to do anything that they do not want and likewise nobody should be made to endure torture for something that they expected would be a normal part of their life as a married person. You will either have to divorce your husband or negotiate some agreement that both of you can live with.
ReplyDeletePeople who don't like sex also deserve, love. So I don't know why you people go on about why she got married. There are other areas apart from sex that can fulfill one in a marriage, it is just that for this poster, the area she has to work on is the sex part.
DeleteWho says she does not deserve love. Then find someone who does not want sex just like her and love each other. There are forums and groups for asexual people that is where she should have sought for a partner to love and live together. Stop trying to cause confusion. If you want a sexless marriage that should have been established and agreed upon by both parties before marriage.
DeleteShe is not a loving person, she is creating strife in the marriage to avoid sex, how is that an act of love for her partner? how is her behavior fulfilling him in other parts of the marriage? The right thing to do would be to sit him down and let him know you she does not want to have sex. If she wants to stay in the marriage then give him the ok to go get sex elsewhere, divorce, or negotiate some agreement they can both work with. Stop making excuses for foolishness!!!!
She deserve love Abi? At the detriment of her husband.
DeleteThere is only one thing a man gets in marriage that he cannot get for himself and that is sex.
There is nothing else a man gets from marriage other than this and if you don't give it to him...he will be u fulfilled.
You are asking for her to be loved without sex is very selfish. What does the husband get? Nothing? Mtschew!
You people coming at me like hungry lions because I said she deserves love even though she may be asexual are funny. The thing hook una. But the truth is she does. If she were not fulfilling her husband in other areas of marriage her husband would have packed out and left the marriage for her. I also stated that she has to work on her area of weakness which is sex, and instead of reading to understand what I put up there, ya'll came for me like a pack of wolves. Namsense, you people enjoy kicking a dog when it is down and find it difficult to put yourselves in other people's shoes because you erroneously think you are better than others.
DeletePoster 1 divorce your husband or allow him have girlfriends! U don’t like sex doesn’t mean u will stop him from liking sex.. don’t know how u want to do this but don’t get upset if he cheats oo
ReplyDeletePoster 1 ,stop being stupid and selfish. Go and get a decent girlfriend for your husband or hire a professional to be satisfying him every weekend. U can stay and watch if u want ton get cured or remain in your room. You may later do yourself a favour by undergoing therapy but note that it will cost you a whole lot of money
ReplyDeletePoster 1 google asexual maybe you fall under that category
ReplyDeletePoster 1, please can we exchange husband.
ReplyDelete