Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative...

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Saturday, July 10, 2021

Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative...

 Hmmm...






STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
FRUSTRATED WIFE

Husbands, do you know that you can frustrate your wife into being psychologically and emotionally detached from you?

 Such that if you and her quarrel, she no longer feels anything. She no longer misses you or longs for your touch and presence. In fact, she’s happy that she has the house all to herself so that she can arrange her life or think of how to promote her business and make money

 I’m at this stage and I’m kind of worried. Is this normal?

 Ps: I’m happy when he’s around (sometimes). We gist and talk like friends but when he goes away after a fight (he has a job that keeps him away for up to 3 days in a row sometimes but he uses it as an opportunity to go away - which is actually now okay by me), I feel free and do not bother calling sometimes. 

Am I okay?




*Some husbands can frustrate their wives alright but when you get to this stage, then it is time to ask yourself if you still want to be married to this person.
You are OK but need to do some soul searching on this..

Why stay married when you are no longer in love?

62 comments:

  1. Some couple now live like that. They just stay together for the sake of the kids, they still relate ,laugh, u see them sometimes n tap, unbeknownst to u, they sleep in separate rooms at home and very cordial with each other. Eg... that billionaire.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. O that One O

      Delete
    2. Both of you should go for counselling, and if you can afford it, a holiday.

      Delete
    3. πŸ™ƒπŸ™ƒπŸ™ƒπŸ™ƒ

      Delete
  2. It happens and you just try to deal with whatever problem you have got with your hubby

    ReplyDelete
  3. This is the road to adultery; on both sides.
    Do a quick reversal or else...
    God created marriage for companionship. If the companionship is no longer there, who stole it?
    Who opened the door to him that
    comes to steal, kill and destroy? John 10:10
    You see what I mean, stolen has happened.
    What remains is killing and destruction if you do not turn back and call on him that created marriage, the one that died
    for you to fix it.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Sometimes this attitude is very necessary. It doesn't mean you don't love him anymore more. It means you are no more a puppy-in-love and life can still be meaningful and happy without him.
    When some husbands see their bad attitude no longer gets to you, it makes them sit up and take you seriously.

    No time to constantly cry for attention that should normally be fully yours.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Me and my wife are at this space now and I have asked her several times if she’s tired but she always says no.I know am not a troublesome man,I take care of my family and do my best to be the best husband(something she can attest to?but she has been showing signs of detachment for like three years now.She used to love sex with me and enjoyed cooking a lot but all of a sudden she doesn’t even care if I eat and I literally have to beg sometimes before we get intimate.I feel like she only needs me around because she can’t take care of the kids alone in this abroad we live and I’m afraid she is wasting away my life.She obviously doesn’t love me anymore from her actions and words(she recently told me that she won’t need me anymore very soon and when I told her sister about it,she said she didn’t mean it and it just slipped)but whenever I ask if she wants us to go our separate ways she says no.it’s a really confusing situation and I don’t know what to do.I don’t want to just leave or end it bitterly because it looks like shel be one of those women that won’t allow the kids see their dads.it’s crazy how things change in marriage and with some women.Pardon all the errors in this write up,I wrote it how my heart told me to.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sorry mahn, I really don't Know what to say, but as a fellow man, I understand the deep shii you're going through..
      Lingering sadness and unhappiness would lead to depression, then na cardiac arrest and heart attack go dey look you next.. you need to do whatever would keep your emotional and phycological mind fit.. the value of Peace can never be underated..
      Don't leave all the cards in her hands.. you're only reacting to whatever she throws at you.. make the next move and shock her.. what she's doing is emotional abuse..
      She has plans that is not to your advantage, don't wait for it to materialise before taking action cos it won't mess you up for life..

      Wish you well

      Delete
    2. Anon 15:31,I'm really sorry about your issue, but you have to do better than just asking your wife if she is done with the marriage. I don't know the kind of person you are,but please sit your wife down and ask her questions..why she has detached from you for 3years.. really ask her.Unless of course you sef want to end the marriage and waiting for her to take the first step in that direction. You may not be troublesome like you stated,but you may have done something consistently that really hurt her and she just detached herself emotionally from you.Eg cheating? It's not everyone that forgives such that easily. Please don't give up on your marriage so easily...talk about it. I wish you all the best.

      Delete
    3. She can't just wake up one day and start acting up, something must have triggered it. Talk to her heart to heart to see if the situation can still be mended

      Delete
    4. You have done something wrong that made her detached,trust me. Speak to her heart. She probably caught Yu cheating, or you insulted her position as a wife and sided your family against her. Talk to her, you will find out.

      Delete
    5. Talking to her wont achieve much....what you need is tonspice of that relationship. Surprise her with a trip where both of you can be alone together, dont pressure her. You know what you did to woo her, do it again.

      If that woman opens her mouth to talk wetin dey her mind, you would understand why she has recoiled...

      Delete
    6. You both need to sit and talk heart to heart ,honestly this ain't even funny.

      Delete
    7. If not that you mentioned abroad...I would have sworn you are my hubby. I so detest my hubby..I don't ve an iota of trust for him n he knows this...based on his previous adulterous ways n hurts he caused. I find it hard to genuinely love him now...his sight at times brings back d emotional pains n cries he dealt me while pregnant. Most times I ll vouch not to ever pray for him ...I really intend to have one more child for him bfo d Yr runs out n plan how to elope with my two kids next year God willing.

      Delete
    8. I think it's time you seek for help outside your MARRIAGE. I mean therapy, because no matter the number not times you address it, she wouldn't bulge. Sit her down, have a discussion with her, suggest going to see a therapist. Then all intent will come to light. I think it's actually a phase where she is detached probably as a result of an hurt. Going to see a counselor might help.

      Please don't give up on your Marriage yet. Seek help

      Delete
    9. This emotional detachment is a normal thing, it's a phase. Although I am not married, I have been in a relationship where I was detached but it later reignited with both effort to make it work. Sometimes, love is never enough, deep understanding, commitment, communication is all it needs.
      Just put in the effort and make sure you put God first

      Delete
    10. Go find another babe.. she don find guy wey dey help shine her Congo but the guy fit no wan marry her so she has to continue staying with you while she gets her congo well shined out there.

      You never watch Sex/Life on Netflix ni?

      Delete
    11. Anon 15.31 do you stay in canada,a benin man?i may know you.So sorry.

      Delete
    12. Iv talked to her a zillion times and whenever we have those conversations,she adjusts for maybe a week or two and then we are back to status quo.I just don’t want to be used cos that’s what I think is happening.it’s hard to be a single mother here and I think that’s why she doesn’t want me to leave.I’m honestly tired

      Delete
    13. She is tired of you and wouldn't want what people will say so she is staying. At this stage you need something new something that will, Make you happy you have to find a way to you guys away to somewhere new.

      Delete
    14. Anonymous 15:31. Do me a favor, don’t give up on her, pray and dry fast for three days, Read Psalm 91 and meditate on Psalm 8 verse 5 only before you sleep. If you want her back, God that joined you will reveal what’s going on and will bring you back.
      Anonymous 16:47 I know how deep it hurts when someone you place your all in betrays the trust. Forgive him please, you are only hurting your spirit when you hold on to the hurt. It’s not easy forgiving cheating when you are at your most vulnerable, but if you still want the marriage, please do forgive him. I pray Heavenly Father gives you the grace to forgive him. Remain blessed both of you

      Delete
    15. You both should try therapy so that the root of the problem will be addressed. I feel she's planning a sudden divorce or eloping with the kids.

      Delete
    16. Reignite the flame of romance into your marriage. You are both too focused on other aspects of your life and neglecting the first thing that brought you together.

      Do the little things that will bring back desire from her. Send notes while at work. Be unapologetically romantic if you really need the marriage..

      Anyways, it's a phase but don't let it linger any more.

      Delete
    17. So sorry about this anon but In my own opinion since you have stated you have tried your best and she still isn't adjusting, please by all means leave her alone...maybe she needs space. But She's is messing up with your mental health and it's just a matter of time before you slide into depression or just become a sad man. No matter what you might have done to her, how can she for 3 years still be putting up with this character? And people are saying you should reignite the passion as if you are the problem here. Damn.
      Please find a way to channel your focus and love to your kids. Life is hard enough already.

      Delete
    18. Unfortunately, your case is heading to the direction in which most abroad marriages end up in. It is nothing that you did or didn't do, it is just that, to your wife, you used to be that guy she loved so much before the abroad thing, but now she has "seen you finish", she thought you were more of a man than what you are now. She gave you a very strong hint already, she told you she wouldn't need you anymore soon, meaning that she will be gone by the time she starts making her own money.

      Yours in not an isolated case, my friend case is almost the same as yours, he's working his ass off to take care of his family and the wife's siblings and parents, yet his wife would randomly compare their lives to that of people she had watched on YouTube. The wife started school last Fall, in fact, I can confidently say that, my friend would attend her online classes and do all her assignments, homework, tests and the likes, despite his very tight schedule. Do not stress yourself brother, abroad is stressful already, be ready for whatever her decisions are. Good luck to you bro!

      For people saying he should sit her down and talk with her, women like that would not come up with any reason(s) they are behaving like that, because truly, they have no reason(s). They just thought the grass is always greener on the other side.

      Delete
    19. Maybe you cheated

      Delete
    20. Anonymous 15.31, i am a man who live in the abroad like you.

      I'll tell you what's happening - You have given your wife power over you. You have left all decision to the future of your marriage in her hands. That is why she is "doing" what she is doing.

      Eight years ago, I was in your shoes. My wife detached completely from me. To kiss or make love was something else.I had to beg for it all the time.

      Here's what I did:

      1. I stopped caring about wether she was available or not. I wasn't ready to cheat, so I would masturbate once or twice a week to cool off (this kept me sane)

      2. I stopped seeking her opinion about how to run the house. I made sure to provide my own contribution to keep the house running. e.g. food, rent, bills etc. I was taking 70% and she was taking 30%. If she cooks...I eat. If she doesnt, I make my own alternative arrangement. No argument.

      3. I started relating with her like we are siblings. Just general talk. No romantic talks. Nothing. No initiating cuddles or begging for any thing related. But I ALWAYS make sure to point out if she does anything stupid. No fight, no argument. If she did something wrong to me...i point it out without letting it slide.

      Delete

    21. 4. I developed myself using Youtube, Pluralsight.com, and Udemy. I dedicated 2 hours daily improving myself. I switched career, got 4 IT certifications within 1 year (ontop of my degree) and within 3 years, I changed jobs 4 times because I kept applying for a job that pays more than the previous one. Now, I earn in a week - what most people earn in 1 month in the abroad. Imagine earning £650 daily!

      5. I just didn't develop my career only I developed myself in Time management, Good grooming (how to dress up, smell nice etc), I worked on my living room, bought IKEA furniture to make it look nice. My speaking skills improved. I was moving ahead a lot. All of these I did without even consulting madam. I just changed them as i went along.

      6. Then I prepared my mind that my marriage may never last. I asked myself what would happen if she were to initiate a divorce - Then I started putting plans in place on how i would react. How we would share our belongings, How we would manage our kids etc. I was 100% ready. I gradually made up my mind to never give a fuck or be surprised if we break up.


      One morning, I thought about it - apart from the children that we have - there is nothing whatosever that my wife brought into my life that I did not have before we got married.

      Think about it - we men do not get anything as a reward for being married (apart from sex) and that is what women use as a weapon sometimes.

      7. Then I made new guy friends and started going out more. I played football, badminton, attend business conference. I gave myself a purpose in life.

      She would snoop on my phone. I know because I have a recorder that snaps a pix each time someone login with my password. She didnt know that to think of what was happening with me.

      I totally ignored everything sexual between us. I stopped begging. I stopped asking her if we had any issues to resolve. I stopped giving her permission to decide what happened in our marriage, I stopped giving her any of my time. I committed all my time to my purpose and to three kids.

      Guess what happened within 7 months of starting - She was the one wanting to cuddle me in bed. She started telling her friends about the nice things i do. She started engaging more, interacting more with me and even initiating sex (and yes, I now turn them down sometimes - not because I don't want it, but I use it to keep frame).

      Overtime, I realise that my madam was acting up because I was being Mr Nice guy. I put her before anything else. Afterall, isnt that what we are told to be? Be a gentleman abi?

      Well - after a lot of study, I realise that women don't like nice guys (even though they tell you they do), their nature does not like someone that treats them well. Their nature does not like a man that puts them first.

      See ehn, you need to know that women are RUTHLESS on an emotional level. THe only way you can play them at their game is to ALWAYS put your purpose in life above your lovelife/marriage.

      I'll repeat again! DO NOT EVER PUT A WOMAN ABOVE YOUR PURPOSE EVEN IF YOUR WIFE IS AN ANGEL.

      In the order of priority, it should be YOUR PURPOSE FIRST, YOUR KIDS SECOND, YOUR WIFE THIRD. When you do that, you are keeping HYPERGAMY (which is a womans default) in check.

      If you do it this way, you will earn a LOT of respect from your wife. She will love you more and you will get more sex.

      I know. Your mammalian brain will tell you i am talking porkies. But just know that I am talking from my experience and from experience of a lot of married men.

      I know many women on this blog reading this wont be able to resist insulting me. But I get them. They are not in my shoes and have no idea how it pinches.

      Take my words. Read it 10 times. Implement it. I promise you, your marriage will NEVER remeain the same.

      I hope the poster hears and act.

      Delete
    22. @ anon 02:19, I am a woman and I must say!!! Your write up is the Best thing i have read about Marriage in a while. No 'Go and Pray' Γ©t al. It's all about action. Nice write up.

      Thanks so much will share with my Male counterparts that are going through Hell in the hands of their wives.

      Delete
    23. Sincerely, you're wife has tested something far better than what you have always offered her, it might be sex or something else and it is common with that gender. Most of them cannot differentiate between passion, infatuation and love. So once they teste something new or different and it's sweeter, yawa don gass

      Delete
    24. Anon 02:19 I’m a woman and I’ll incorporate what you wrote there. I’m Mrs nice woman and my husband has also taking me for granted. I’ve done everything and the spark is no longer there. It has nothing to do with gender. It’s how one portrays him or herself to ones partner. You were probably just there, stagnant and not doing much for yourself. She lost interest. See how you improved yourself and worked on yourself/self esteem, madam changed. My take is, love your neighbor as yourself. Not more than yourself!

      Delete
    25. @anonymous 15.15, I am anonymous 2.19.

      You assumed I was stagnant...but in truth I wasn't. I had a good career in another field paying me £40,000 yearly. In the UK this was a decent salary and I was doing my duties.

      I came from a polygsmous home and vowed to treat my wife right. I would share cooking...engage her in decisions...carry her along. I was being nice...thinking that's what you women want.

      Now I know better. Me developing myself 10x was as a distraction to help me not care about my wife and it worked!

      Right now...I have a 'I don't give a fuck' attitude in the house. Don't get me wrong...I am not bossy....aggressive....or irresponsible.

      I just have this attitude of....'I can do without you' which in truth I could before but this time I showed it by my actions.

      This is the language that you wome. Understand. The person that loves most in a marriage is the beta and the person that has nothing to lose is the alpha.

      As a man...you must constantly project that you can do without your other half and you don't give a fuck. If you don't....a woman sees it as weakness and their default is to take advantage of it.

      Delete
    26. anonymous 2:19 you are obviously not a believer cos what you just wrote up there is not Gods way.. yes you improved yourself but what is your purpose and what is your marriage? a woman will not just start being cold or hating you because you are too nice, who does that? what is your wives love language? do you know? i can bet my self if we sat your wife down we will get the issues from her perspective and it will not be entirely what you just typed there. being nice was not your issue, there were some things you were doing that you refused to changed because you thought it was the best way or you were mr perfect. we know your type. most men never agree they do anything wrong...as for the anonymous i pity you if you ever take Dante's advice. he is a chauvinist and will forever see himself as a superior being. i pity whoever mnarries him. take yoir wife out and table your concerns nand how her actions make you feel. demand an answer and let her know you will speak to a 3rd party about your concerns and what exactly the problem is. this might make her see how serious you are and tell you what it is....pray pray pray for your marriage...it is not only women who should watch war room. men are the head of the home and God will hold you accountable for the marriage. love your wife and see changes.

      Delete
  6. Didn't speak to my husband for 3.months ....I loved every minute of it. Na small fight cause am o but oga wan kon use opportunity not to talk with me for days...I kukuma left him for months...within that 3 months...I put my head inside my trading....I was making money liiiiike...I even do small chops outside sef (wink), to me this was holiday to be "me". We are back talking and doing small small lovie dovie for house for the sake of the kids ofxourse but me and him both know say my eyes no too dey look am again,.lol. When husband frustrate en wife reach the extent wey wife too wan almost go mahd, the solution is to mentally detach from that husband o.

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    Replies
    1. You said it all πŸ’―πŸ’―πŸ’―

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    2. Hmmmm small chops outside.. hehehehe

      Delete
    3. instead of you to deal with what's going on in your marriage, you were having sex outside. And your female olleagues are hailing you.

      WHen a man does same thing, you will all come here and talk about how men are scum.

      Kwantinue o

      Delete
  7. My married friend always says: Love is not enough, commitment is key. You have to continue making conscious effort to making it work cos sometimes the love wouldn't be there due to some life issues, maybe job stress, financial ish, illness etc.. the way to keep the commitment going is by communication.. Distance doesn't septate people, Silence does

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    Replies
    1. Your married friend is absolutely correct! Marriage is not about love but making the decision to remain committed to the vow you both made. And yes, the grace and mercy of God should be sought to see you through.

      Delete
    2. Perfectly written... .Dante I am suspecting you.. .Have you met herπŸ˜‰πŸ˜‰

      Delete
  8. I am just waiting for my boy to finish uni then ill leave. He has numerous properties but i dont care. He should will it to our kids and prolly any other he has cos i stopped caring years ago. He is a super stingo, too tight fisted and cant even set me up in biz since we married over 27years. I sacrificed my all....

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. If this is all the reason you have for wanting to leave, then you have no solid case. What did you bring to your marriage table 27years ago apart from your beauty and perky boobs?

      Were you on a career path when you met him and he "forced" you to become a full-time housewife? Did your family members set up a business for you before marriage that your husband wrecked? Have you had any vocational training in 27years? Please correct me if I'm wrong but you sound like you've been a full-time housewife since you got married. And now, you're waiting for your child's graduation so that you can transfer your financial and emotional burdens to him. Pikin wey never even finish school not to talk of getting correct job, you don dey arrange responsibility give am down. Is that fair?

      Madam, go find something do o. It's not too late. There are women who singlehandedly trained 4/6 children without any financial support from anyone after they lost their husbands; dem no send chronicles o. I totally agree there is nothing wrong with a man "gifting" his wife business capital but it's also not a criminal offence if he "refuses" to. Maybe we'd understand better after you narrate how you donated a kidney to him or sold off your ancestors' lands to finance his business or trip abroad. The phrases "I suffered with him" and "after everything I did for him" are stale. E no dey reign again.

      If girl/woman no set up herself first before she go dey suffer with man inside marriage, nobody send her message mbok. Support your spouse but look after yourself too- physically, financially and mentally because human beings fit change anytime like chameleon. Protect yourself first before diving into marriage. Na where Ruth dey "work" for field, she jam Boaz o. If you have your own money, you will care less about who is stingy or who is Father Christmas.

      Delete
    2. Thank you.

      She wants to attach herself to the young man and be causing troubles for his wife. (a.k.a "no woman can take away my son from me").

      Delete
    3. I agree completely with you, @Amebonawork. 27 years and you didn't mention what you have brought to the table. Please let that boy enjoy his life, don't go and put your burden on that little boy.

      Delete
    4. This is what I have been trying to preach to those aunties on this blog
      Telling a woman to stay and keep praying can be tiring

      Marry men and women you can have open conversations with

      The number one advice on this blog is to tell women to lock up and face their business and kids forgetting "two became one" and so when one is left in the cold their hearts become hardened

      See all the women saying they can't wait for this and that to leave.

      Dear couples, this is the 21st century, everyone is more selfish and seeking self love, no one wants to waste their precious years in a loveless situation, praying that one man or woman will change.

      Also men who have hurt thier women to the stage that something actually dies in them, it's better y'all put in the work to walk your ways back.

      To the man who complained up there, you probably did something in the past which she had complained about and got tired.
      You may have changed now but she's moved one emotionally
      Since she's not willing to talk to you
      My advice is that you both seek counseling, even if she wants a divorce, let her state it there.

      Dear singles, marry people who you can talk to, when you are not sexually satisfied, discuss. If it's ways to build your finances discuss etc.
      These days great marriages are built on partnerships rather than slave and king mentality, everyone is more selfish now.

      Delete
  9. Let them continue to stay together...ooo. They are not hurting each other, just a very tiny thing like this will bring the spark back. And they will both remember why they came together in the first place.

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  10. This marriage of a thing keeps getting " scary" by the day. Stella i think you should create a column where people who have enjoyed blissful years of marriage tell us thier success stories ( pls I'm not talking about lies or fabricated stories) so as to encourage us that are still single. Thanks

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    Replies
    1. Want to know my success story after 21 years of marriage? Do unto others as you want them to do unto you

      Delete
  11. I can’t wait to leave my husband, he has hurt me so much and taken me for granted too many times so I love the way I just trip off and just go detached just let my children graduate from school i am already planning my exit

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    Replies
    1. Exit to where? What do you think is outside? A bird at hand is worth thousand in the bush, I pray you know what you have before it’s gone

      Delete
  12. poster,you are very okay...nothing do you. My hubby and I is in current situationship. I wrote few days ago that he doesn't trust me and believes whatever an outsider tells him about me.I have kept him at arm's length.i feel more relax on days he doesn't come home from work, his presence sometimes disturbs my peace. If not that one poster of a chronicle talked about how her mother is maltreating her father and most Bvs stated that it will be a very wicked thing to wait till old age to punish ones hubby, I had started nursing such already but whichever way it goes I will keep you "guys" posted. Forgive any error biko.

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    Replies
    1. Are you a Christian? In this situation of yours what do you think our Lord would have done? Is marriage about who won in a fight? Fights which are inevitable because God deliberately created us imperfect so that we won’t confront Him one day? Is marriage the reward for being a good girl? Please let go of the hurt. Yes it hurts when someone you love most in the world does not trust you and decide to trust others, but do you know what tomorrow holds? Do me a favor please? Try openness and transparency for a week, let him in on your whereabouts and everything you doing for a week and see if he won’t turn a new leaf, remain blessed sis and let go of anything detrimental to your relationship in future

      Delete
    2. Anon 18.04. Thanks a bunch for your words of encouragement. 19 years of marriage aren't a joke. Trust is earned but I have give up trying to earn it. I have done openess and transparency.The more I try the more the distrust sets in. I don taya abeg.

      Delete
  13. Poster, it's like your husband taught you pettiness but you don come sabi the "I don't care" attitude pass am now. Could you discuss his malice issues with him one last time please? Let him know you'd rather talk things through than have him resort to malice and that you don't like the person you are becoming because of this malice issue. Hopefully, with the 3months maliceship race that you just won, he'd change but if he doesn't, do what's best for your mental health for the children's sakes. Chai! Where is Ronalda when you need her on certain chronicles? She for just help una "darling, sweetie, honey and sugar" away this small problem.

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  14. I used to love my husband so much but he toughed me to the extent that I no longer care. I know enjoy my own company more than ever. Though, there are times the sparks crawls back and it feels like we never had any issue. Just hold on, things would workout at the end.

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  15. Hmmmmm the comments here shows plenty people are just enduring marriage and can't wait to get out, while one sister is in one corner crying to get married

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  16. Dear Anon @15.31,

    Your wife either made a Freudian slip or has served you notice.

    Pray and work for restoration of your marriage. Sit with your wife. Ask her what you did or you are doing that she is sad about. Apologise and beg for her forgiveness whether or not she tells you what your offence is. And stop doing whatever she complained about.

    But please know as confirmed by comments under this post that some, if not most, wives serve the dish of marital revenge when it is coldest. If you doubt this, read the Chronicle post this week by the young woman whose mother is starving her sick father ostensibly to death. Read the comments under that and this post also.

    So, as you work on repairing your marriage for good, PLEASE (I cant shout more):
    (1) Befriend and bond with your children. You will have good memories to treasure. You are providing for them. So enjoy all the playful benefits and joy children bring into a home. What is more, they will not choose her over you now or later. They will soon be teenagers anyway, and onto teenage friends, things, etc.

    (2) Reorganize your finances. Explore opportunities for old age trusteeship, secured pension payable to you or for your care, job loss support, etc.

    (3) Make adequate provision for healthcare and assisted care at older age.

    (4) Find out if your wife is making investments more in the homeland or saving more of her income. If so, know her plans are afoot.

    (5) Guard your heart. Do not snoop or monitor her. Street wisdom bites say that when a wife stops sleeping with her husband, she is sleeping outside (as confirmed by two comments under this post). She may or may not be sleeping outside, but do not go finding out. She will let that slip too or that information (if true) would fall into your hands when it is ripe for you to have it.

    (6) Do all things and take all peaceable and positive steps to ensure that your wife do not leave you cold on the streets of a foreign land when you are most vulnerable.

    Again, pray and work for the restoration of your marriage.


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    Replies
    1. So far this is the most sensible comment. Not because l have issues with those telling u to appeal to her and make peace but because you could do all that and she will still continue with what ever she is determined to do. But most especially make plans for retirement. And make plans not to be left empty if everything goes south

      Delete
  17. During the 1-1/2yrs of my working for my company, my family members knew of the disrespectful way my colleague at work was treating me. Another of my colleague let’s call him Mr. O called me one day as regards work and observed I was crying, he really helped me out during those ‘dark days’ from there we became really close and I somehow know most things about him.
    I was also there during his lowest.
    Before we became friends we agreed not to cross certain lines. I know his gfs..do they know me? No and I don’t bother because we don’t talk about each others relationships.
    There are times I feel like I am always the caller (like we can talk about anything for 2hrs+) because he is not the calling type. There was a time I did not call for like weeks and when I called another of my colleague desk phone ‘he’ picked and was like he missed my phone and all those talks. There was also a time he offended me and I told him let’s just be colleague and not friends and then I travelled to our HQ for work and saw him and he was like he can’t believe I went weeks without calling him and then apologized and we are still friends. Or is it the numerous things he buys for me and even asks I come to his house whenever I am at my HQ

    The question are there mixed signals he sending or he is not interested because I still see him as an elder brother so I don’t start imagining things that won’t work and put my gear and emotions at stake
    ❤️

    ReplyDelete
  18. During the 1-1/2yrs of my working for my company, my family members knew of the disrespectful way my colleague at work was treating me. Another of my colleague let’s call him Mr. O called me one day as regards work and observed I was crying, he really helped me out during those ‘dark days’ from there we became really close and I somehow know most things about him.
    I was also there during his lowest.
    Before we became friends we agreed not to cross certain lines. I know his gfs..do they know me? No and I don’t bother because we don’t talk about each others relationships.
    There are times I feel like I am always the caller (like we can talk about anything for 2hrs+) because he is not the calling type. There was a time I did not call for like weeks and when I called another of my colleague desk phone ‘he’ picked and was like he missed my phone and all those talks. There was also a time he offended me and I told him let’s just be colleague and not friends and then I travelled to our HQ for work and saw him and he was like he can’t believe I went weeks without calling him and then apologized and we are still friends. Or is it the numerous things he buys for me and even asks I come to his house whenever I am at my HQ

    The question are there mixed signals he sending or he is not interested because I still see him as an elder brother so I don’t start imagining things that won’t work and put my gear and emotions at stake
    ❤️

    ReplyDelete
  19. I feel exactly the same way in my marriage. Not interested in therapy. He made me this way. Maybe I never really loved him. So now what do I do? Definitely don’t want to be complaining about being with him for the rest of my life. I want to be happy. I’m not going to suck it and be miserable. Nahhhh I deserve better for myself.

    ReplyDelete

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