Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative...

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Monday, July 05, 2021

Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative...

 Hmmmm...






STAND ALONE NARRATIVE

NOT A WIFE MATERIAL FOR ANY MAN 2


Sunday Chronicle poster says she has run away and explains in full details.....




My Fellow BVs, I am not a scam or falsifying any information whatsoever. I am sure most of us have never experienced the loss of a spouse that left me half mad with nothing to hold on to.. Then Accusation of his death heaped on your head .. No Shelter.. No Food .. No Nothing ..IT was a long dark never ending tunnel.


 Sometime ago I left a comment on how I managed to rebuild myself and went back to school despite being a graduate with MSc already. Just to get back myself esteem and build myself confidence. When I gradually started finding my feet I started casual dating... Because I do not want anything serious. 

Which I have always stated CLEARLY. My past was a situation that I do not want to remember via discussion. I owe nobody any details. The part I was made to swear and drink his bath water in UYO.. and their women hooting at me? Or the part where I was summoned in their shrine? It was Hell. 


Seeing my kids brought back memories... I avoided them. Through prayers I am gradually bonding with them. I have no love left in me to give. Hence my refusal to commit. This man and I started way too casual... Then Suddenly BOOM!! He became constantly present in my life. We never had that get to know ourselves stage. Because I have nothing to talk about...

 I live in the moment and that is how I have made peace with my life. Just a few weeks ago... He started making statements with WE and FUTURE. Since it all happened so fast... I used corner corner to ask his take on my status. And he said he will rather DIE than to Have any S#xual relationship with a Single mother not to talk of a widow that he doesn't know what killed her husband and the negative vibes she will be moving around with... 


My people I almost passed out. You need to see the DISGUST on his face. Anyway before you Judge me... I have moved to Istanbul... Las las he will be fine... Love is a beautiful thing. I am glad I felt a touch of it. The MEMORIES are with me. I am not scamming him. I have left him alone. I cannot give what I don't have. I have tasted Death on my tongue. My story is not for everyone.

How can you LIE about what you never talked about??? How can you LIE when no one asked you any question??!!! How did I lead him on?? I have always made my stand known... From start. I don't want to be in a committed relationship. No strings attached. 

I am not looking for a life partner. 

He told me it was fine by him. And the he too hated pressure. Now he is applying pressure. I am now the guilty one. I am schooling/work... Then I have my kids I travel to go spend time with them. Are these things not strong commitment?


 What other commitment is more important than the above-mentioned? So what secrets are you people referring to?? Not talking about something doesn't make it a secret. 

Now that I am outta town for good. See I hate the position I find myself. But life must go on. Sadly this how life has turned me to be. I still live in fear. I still have nightmares. I am still healing from my past. We all have our silent struggles.

 I didn't lead him on. We both enjoyed each others company. Just that he made me so so happy... There was peace and laughter. When it dawned on me that he is in love with me. With tears and broken heart. Then I got to know his deal breakers. What should I have done. By Default I am his DAMN DEAL BREAKER.  No one is perfect. May God Almighty Continue to direct our paths .

Thank You Stella. I love You so much.





*What!.... I actually cried reading this!... 

They made you drink water from your late hubbys dead body to swear you did not kill him? OH JESUS!!!

You must be completely broken!
I understand why you ran, it wont work out and you have to start again... Heal in peace.... I wish you love and peace of mind and the strength and courage to let love find you again.

Thank you for completing the Narrative...

37 comments:

  1. Poster you did nothing wrong abeg. Have fun anywhere u see fun and move. Sometimes commitments can be stressful...kai.

    f**k society n live your life.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. BlackBerry you couldn't have said it any better

      Woman fuck society and live your life

      You have truly seen hell!!

      May God erase all the bitter experience and comfort you. losing a spouse especially in some part of Nigeria is no joke.

      Delete
    2. I agree with you, f**c society.

      Delete
    3. While she's fuckin the society, she should do better not to fuck people's lives up..

      Where one's right of 'fuckin' ends is where another's right of 'fuckin'begin.. please let's be guided..

      Let everyone fuck accordingly

      Delete
  2. Sending love and light your way,do whatever makes you happy πŸ˜™

    ReplyDelete
  3. This is absolutely enlightening than the previous one..Sorry about all you went through and who still get involved in all of that?

    ReplyDelete
  4. Drinking the water used to wash his dead body? I don't even want to imagine such a thing. Please be happy for yourself and your kids

    ReplyDelete
  5. Sorry about what you passed through. It's really heartbreaking. Please in whatever you do, carry your kids along. They've been deprived of Father's love, please don't deny them your love. Don't love them from afar or keep them elsewhere. They are Innocent in all of this. Let them join you in instanbul and together you guys will find closure and peace. Please I really feel for your kids. Thank you and God bless you

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I agree with you but they are a reminder of what she went tro and she has to heal first, this is not easy, let her breath first, I pray God help the children but men, she needs to be by herself, it takes God to survive this, women are always on the losing end in this society. To get someone and marry na like trophy, marry, u will be serving him, carry children, ur body system go hear am, then this too. Abeg let her breath, dont pressure her, I feel for the children, but let her be okay so she can attend to them. E-hug a billion times for you from all of us. Cry, have fun, see the future, oh God, see tears rolling down my eyes in the office, why do society damage women and they turn around to say they are evil, why why why

      Delete
  6. Oh! So sorry for all you went through. It will make you a better and stronger person when you completely heal. Then you will be able to help other women who may go through such. Sorry.

    I feel now that you are away from him, kindly let him know your reasons for leaving him and the relationship. This will make him know that there is nothing wrong with widows and single mothers. That they are like every other woman regardless of their relationship status. And making him begin to see them in a different light.

    I'd like you to answer this question either below my comment or to yourself; if widowhood and single mother status wasn't his deal breaker, would you have given him a chance of love and even marriage? I'm asking because,
    1. When a man loves a woman as much as you have stated, he may forgo his deal breakers.
    2. This may have been your chance at true love.

    Please, when you completely heal, give love and marriage, a chance again. Never say never.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I understand your fears poster and they are valid but I agree with Jechix. Now you have run, you could have still told him tge truth, then told him you are leaving since they are his deal breakers. At least give him the chance to think things over and decide for himself what he wants. If he doesn't want the relationship then you would still move on and you both have closure.
      Wish you the best poster and try to prepare yourself to embrace your children wholeheartedly again. They are innocent in all of this.

      Delete
  7. So sorry about what u went thru

    ReplyDelete
  8. So sorry about what u went through. It is well with you,do whatever makes you happy.

    ReplyDelete
  9. you still need to let him know, you never can tell. wish you the best, embrace God and he will make it alright.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Dear, you allowed the treatments meted to you as a widow to guide how
    you define yourself. Since you have a clear conscience toward man and God,
    there is no need not to let anyone "in your life" know that you have kids and
    you were married before and your spouse died. It is neither a crime nor a sin
    to be a widow or orphan. People who fear God will rather encourage you instead of
    despise you.
    So, brace up and be yourself. Let any prospective suitor or friend or acquittance
    know that you are proud of your kids and their late dad.
    And above all, do not partake in sexual immorality for that will be a barrier from your
    God who you told us has been your strength. 🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺

    ReplyDelete
  11. "I counsel younger widows to marry..." 1 Tim. 5:14
    If you are not among those "who have given up marriage
    for the Kingdom of God's sake..." (Mathew 19:12) then you should get married
    and desist from the temptation of adultery/fornication.
    Marriage must not be to this man who has a warped mentality about whoever is
    a widow or baby mama. He is full of himself and not full of God. There is nothing godly
    about this man...especially if he walks away because of your status.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Nothing godly about the man, I concur.

      God will give you that inner peace that surpasses all understanding. Carry your kids along and stay safe.

      Delete
  12. You really went through hell. But God has brought you this far. I really believe you too have fallen for this guy but you're in denial. You say he is a good person and treated you well then fell in love you, imagine what he must be going through not knowing where he got it wrong. Since you are out of town, tell him the truth through a message. So you both could move on. I know you might be scared that he might not run too far like you would've wanted him to and you're afraid of yourself to trust someone again but if we let the past keep limiting us then we're still on the ground where they world kept us.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Nigerian guys and their stupid principles, they can't date a girl that has up to 5 body counts, they can't date a single mom or a widow bla bla bla

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Nigeria girls and their stupid principles, they can't date a guy without car, they can't date a guy who isn't rich bla bla bla.. but they don't have these stuff themselves..

      Don't be silly.. face the issue raised in the post and don't fill up everywhere with your bitterness. No one asked you to have uncountable body counts and kids outside wedlock.. if it's a deal breaker for a guy, respect it and move in, same way guys move in too when you give him the vibes that he's not your type

      Delete
    2. Dante why you broke so?πŸ˜€πŸ˜€πŸ˜€πŸ˜€πŸ˜€πŸ˜€...When it comes to money matter you are always too pained....Oga Shill jare in Katrina's voice

      Delete
  14. Women are suffering in this country

    ReplyDelete
  15. The man in this narrative is not wise. When a woman asks you anything, answer wisely. He lost you by himself.
    He would simply said..." until I meet a widow, till then I cant say how I will react" ....easy and simple.
    Men can be so unintelligent sometimes, of all the questions a woman asks you one, you mess it all up

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. No dey encourage childish behaviour. If you want to ask a question, ask plainly.
      That's how one girl I really liked said "you, you won't settle down until like 2years time now".. I didn't even say anything cos I didn't know it was a question, she said it as a passing comment. Only for her to use it later as her justification for distancing away from me, as far as she was concerned, she asked me when I want to settle down and I said in like 2 years time..

      Is that how matured people communicate? You guys should behave yourselves and stop complicating life.

      Men are not mind readers, if you want to know something, as a direct question. Don't expect us to be studying you to understand what you are not saying. You are not a science experiment

      Delete
    2. BTW, It's the woman in this narrative that's not wise.

      So asking mumu questions instead of being direct is what you see as wisdom? Women can be so unintelligent sometimes

      Delete
    3. Dante how’s the woman not wise? Smh

      Delete
    4. 18.11..
      Start by asking the anon I responded to how the man is not wise

      Delete
    5. Dante, your own don too much.
      Please take a chill pill!!!
      I don't know what you're feeling like but you need to calm down, you don't know it all!

      Delete
    6. Smh for you Dante or whatever you call yourself, awon keyboard warrior, I know this is the only place or avenue you can vent/show your ego, I feel for you, ndo oh? πŸ™„

      Delete
  16. The earlier some BVs stop assuming things, situations and people they know nothing about, the better for them.

    For her to come back to reply, I can imagine the kind of comments. Advice coming from people who can't even fix their own lives...smh.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. People reply based on what they have read. The less details put in the less rounded the replies.

      Delete
  17. H"can you LIE about what you never talked about??? How can you LIE when no one asked you any question??!!! How did I lead him on?"

    I'm answering this, not because of your story, but for others in relationship that use this line for deception. When in relationship, you don't have to be asked certain questions before you disclose, there's what is called l"by omission", this is when you mislead someone to have a contrary opinion of the real state of things by keeping silent about it.

    Now how you lead him on- you noticed he was getting attached, you didn't move then because you were enjoying the love, affection and attention. For someone who doesn't want commitment, that was a selfish thing to do.

    All what you wrote here are just the normal 'women' ish of not wanting to accept blame, trying to win people over with emotions and tears instead of accepting that what you did was wrong. The right thing to do was to tell him why you can't be in a committed relationship, he deserves to know. What you did now is the same thing you complained was done to you when you lost your husband. Now his self esteem would be crashed, he'll feel he is the problem and he can't get a woman to love him, this would mess him up, more than you know and more than he'll let you know.

    Madam do the right thing and forget story..

    Let me tell you something, he made those statements cos he didn't in his wildest imagination think you fall under those categories, instead of asking mumu questions, you should have just come out plainly and said this is the position of thing, that's how grown and matured people behave. And then listen to what his reply would be knowing that you're the one in this position. People make compromise for someone they love, especially when the person is honest and open to them, that enough is a turn on.

    What you did is a cowardly act.. decieve yourself all you want, the truth remains that you're also in love with this man and you'll regret not opening up at the end of the day.

    Bye

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This one brought you out πŸ˜‹. I agree with the last statement.

      But asides being emotional... What she went through took a whole lot on her mental health. It is not a route that leaves you the same.

      Dear poster Pls tell Our brother the reason for cutting him off. He deserves to know.

      Delete
    2. How she can comfortably open up to us- strangers and even come back explaining herself like she owe us one, but can't open up to someone who gave her peace and happiness baffles me.. Talk about misplaced priority..
      He wasn't the cause for whatever she went through, which to me are just excuses by the way..cos she doesn't want to accept blame. Even if, he shouldn't be punished for the crime of others.. I wonder why no one is even caring about the trauma this man is going through presently, or because he is a man he should suffer.. Naija Women, Men are human Beings too.. Haba! What did we do to deserve all these I'll treatment and resentment..

      She's traumatized but can be fuckin up and down bah.. Ashawo trauma

      Delete
    3. Firstly, the poster stated that originally, it was a casual relationship at which point no one is expected to bare their soul. The objective at that point was fun and both parties agreed to it. Along the line, one person got emotionally entangled and said person never returned to redefine the status quo (my understanding). He just started saying we and future and all. Now, if he had said, girl, I think I want to be more than casual and she had agreed, it is at this point full disclosure is expected. She only used sense to ask so as to be able to detach herself if need be when she recognized that he wanted more.

      I agree with you, poster may be in love too and may or may not regret exploring this love but that said, I don’t think she did anything wrong.

      For the sake of closure and sanity, I would advice that the poster discloses the truth and explore the possibilities if she so chooses. But all in all, coward is a bit of a stretch IMO.

      I’d also like to address the point you made about women not owning up to take blame, I beg to differ. Perhaps, those are the women you know. The ones I know have even made a habit of accepting blame that isn’t even theirs.

      May God make life easy for us. Selah

      Delete
  18. Dear Poster, send him a message explaining everything. Pour out your heart, let him know everything you passed through so he doesn't feel heartbroken by your sudden disappearance, then let him decide what he wants to do, even if he doesn't change his stance about marriage, you could gain a good friend, a friend with benefits or some other beneficial status. I am not a psychologist but reading through your initial chronicle, you are in love with this man but understandably reluctant to love again.

    I am sure you moved on with your education and career but you didn't even know you were lacking something till he came in and showed you. Try to live again my dearest Poster, I promise you, it is worth it, not everyone is as heartless and twisted as those frustrated idiots that maltreated you after you lost your husband. Please, send a long message explaining everything to him and reach out to a therapist to help with your mental health, I know they are more accessible over there. All the best dear, hoping for a positive update in future.

    ReplyDelete
  19. awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww may you find peace and love

    ReplyDelete

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