Dr Freaks Journal - The BIG Lie.

"The Day I Bought Pounded Yam And Did Not Wait And Collect 'Egusi' Soup" (Please note, this is a Yoruba aphorism lexically/literally translated to English Language. You "may" not find it in any English dictionary. Lol) -

Rewind,

April 1991: I had just written JAMB and feeling fly! One of the "big boys" from the town was having a party and all the big boys in diaspora and their beautiful daughters and wards had converged in the town for the occasion. 

I can't remember the lie I told at home and my mum had graciously granted me "exeat" to step out of that "prison".

While growing up, I was never allowed to receive more than 3 or so visitors and was only allowed to visit the same 3 or so, albeit sparingly. On this fateful day, I and my brother-in-crime (who happens to be a Pastor of repute in one West African country today) found our ways to the venue of the party and within the first 10 minutes, a beautiful girl (lady) walked past. At the time under reference, I was still innocent and timid and I had never "toasted" a lady in my entire life, having attended an all boys' school for the greater part of my academic years but with the Dutch courage gained from my brother-in-crime and some bottles of "malt" (na you sabir) coupled with the bet placed on my ability to toast or otherwise at the event, I was bent on testing my toasting prowess. She walked back in our direction and this time around, I summoned up courage, approached her and can you imagine, she was so receptive.


Stage 2: She granted me audience, I introduced myself to her and she reciprocated. She struck me like as a secondary school leaver like yours faithfully so I perceived the need for me to "hype" my "rep" and behold, I lied and boldly introduced myself as an undergrad of Ilorin and proudly stated that I was studying Law. 

Well I had just written JAMB after all and I had filled Law, Unilorin as my first choice (no thanks to Unilorin that later scrapped the Faculty and advised us, the unforewarned applicants to pick up Change of Faculty Forms and change to other schools. Law later found its way back to Unilorin any way) 

 I observed that even though she was humble (after all empty barrels like yours truly at the time make the loudest noise) she was unruffled and whispered in my ears that she was in University of Lagos, studying Mechanical Engineering.

 Are you laughing already? 

Wait a minute, she was in 300 level! You don't want to know what transpired thereafter. I quietly came up with a lie, excused myself and ran away from that party and never went back ....


Fast forward,
It's been 30 long years now. What lessons have I learnt from this experience? Just be yourself. Assuming I told her the truth, chances are high she may not have judged me. She would have known that she was a "big sister" and may have probably mentored me. I would have enjoyed myself at the party, after all I was her "kid brother." 

With what I know today, I would have acted differently, but i got where I am today by making mistakes and learning from them over the years. I keep learning every micro second. Thank God, I no longer need the "Egusi" soup since I have all the soups in my one and only "Omo Igbo" wifey.

Stay safe...

Its Kunle.