Why exactly do people tow this route? Does it give satisfaction? fighting bitterly when the love is over is OK?
Those who currently fighting with their ex lovers and ex spouses publicly and privately, please tell us why and what you hope to achieve.
Are there kids involved? is it over another lover or what?
Is a feud better than towing the path of peace?
Lets gist!!!
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I don’t encourage fighting dirty and it getting to the point of certain people getting involved and saying stuff.
ReplyDeleteEven the ones that don’t know much about how the brouhaha began would also have something to say.
I always walk away no matter the hurt and I don’t ever look back.
Settle your issues privately. That way, “demons” won’t have cause to rejoice over your breakup.
Naso jare...settle issues amicably and if u still want to be friends good of not, goodbye
DeleteIt all depends on how mature each party is.
DeleteYou don't have to be together but if you genuinely love your kids, you will make sure you provide the necessary things for them.
As a woman do not spite your ex by depriving them from their fathers love except the man isn't providing.
As a man provide all the basic needs for your kids, if they are in their mothers care, provide up to 70percent of all financial needs because it's not easy to be physically present,eg school drop-off and pick-ups, PTA, midnight fevers, knowing all their allergies, following up with school work, making sure they get all they need, e.t.c. provide as much as you can because it's really not easy.
If as a man you get custody, you can take the children but make sure you are a hands on dad, do not collect them to spite the woman and dump them with another woman who may pretend to love your kids, make sure you can be as present as possible.
Divorce shouldn't break anyone but if there's love for the kids,it will over shadow and hate and spite you have for each other.
Also if a relationship isn't working, do not let it get too toxic before you leave,that's where anger and resentment come in.
Maturity is key.
Some people don't want to go public but when the grieving party goes public, the accused has to come out and clarify issues raised, basically that's how it starts as in Nedu's case
Delete@Push up, like you said "As a man provide all the basic needs for your kids, if they are in their mothers care, provide up to 70percent of all financial needs because it's not easy to be physically present,eg school drop-off and pick-ups, PTA, midnight fevers, knowing all their allergies, following up with school work, making sure they get all they need, e.t.c. provide as much as you can because it's really not easy."
DeleteMy question is what happens if the kids are in the custody of their father and he's hands on, what % should the wife or mother provide? It can't still be the 30% you advocated by your statement above.
Just asking for a friend.
In saner climes the woman provides the support in Nigeria let me just shut up
DeleteI feel it all boils down to self control. I always include that in my prayers daily, "God please give me the ability to exercise self control, self discipline, self worth to always know when to walk away from any situation that isn't beneficial to me" because whether you like it or not people will push you, some are pigs that don't mind being dragged inthe mud and would want you to go down with them,but it's left to you to exercise self control, self discipline and always know when to walk away and pick your battles wisely.
ReplyDeleteThis goes for physical and S.M interactions.
Story of my Life. My husband has refused to let go of his ex's, keep on calling them. If i talk,he will tell me there is nothing going on between them. When I couldn't bear it again,l snoop and find out that something is actually going on behind my back. I confronted him, to my greatest surprised, my husband told me to do my worse. I ran mad, I called one of them and told her to stay away from my man or l will disgrace her on Facebook. The other one....in short, I am tired ๐ซ๐ฅ
DeleteSo true. Self control is key.
DeleteHaaa anon so all the CIA work you did was for what? To attack side chick. Teeth less dog
DeleteI don't have an ex, I thank God
ReplyDeleteI don't have a fight to fight, I thank God too.
The fight is not the issue, it is the blatant display of dirty adulterous pants on social media that is disgusting.
It is selfish to think about just "me, me, me ..." and forget the kids,
their sanity, their psyche and so on.
If you reject (The Prince of) Peace, then, fight it out with your exes in private, go to courts, call the in-laws and display your dirty pants.
But please keep these innocent kids out of it and sane in it.
One lady set up camera and "traveled." What oga on top and his side chicks did were well captured.
Madam comes back and turns to "porn producer" o. She sent copies of the trailer to the phones of all involved
which she harvested from oga's phone.
The madam has been very quiet for two months now. There is no emissary that has not been sent to madam to abort production.
And you know the worse? two of the female "porn actors" are married.
Just a click and madam will scatter everything...marriages and jobs...๐ฎ๐ฎ๐ฎ๐ฎ๐ฎ
Everything is not about making noise. Use your God-given wisdom and learn
the winning ways of silence.
๐งบ๐งบ๐งบ๐งบ๐งบ๐งบ๐งบ๐งบ๐งบ๐งบ๐งบ๐งบ The owners of the baskets know themselves.
๐๐๐
Delete๐ ๐
Delete��������
Delete๐คฃ๐คฃ๐คฃ๐คฃ๐คฃ๐คฃ๐คฃ๐คฃ๐คฃ
DeleteKaแป!
The madam na real deal.
No time for rubbish.
Lmaooooo ❤
DeleteThis one louder oooo
DeleteNo one gains anything...it is just feeling that they can get their pound of flesh back. Tonto did to Churchill and saw it was useless. Even the keeping of their son away From the father is counter productive. Now her Mimi ex BF the prince has also gone on the offensive... to gain what in the end???? All of this in this short life. When not of death happens in the middle they will soon know that there is no time!!!
ReplyDeleteIt happens when a relationship or marriage is structured around social media. There are celebrities who people don't know how their partners look like because they chose to be private whether good or bad.
ReplyDeleteWhy I love Genevieve Nnaji.
DeleteI was just thinking that this must be why people love Genevieve fiercely. She would rather quench than provide information or ammunition for anyone on social media to insult her
DeleteDakore and her hubby have been separated for God knows how long
DeleteThey both have new people in their lives but they do not fight and drag each other.
I believe they share custody peacefully.
You do not have tell the world your business, it's not easy I know but call your family members and gist them if your mouth itches you so bad.
Mee, same old story year in year out. Leave Dakore and her marriage alone!
DeleteMe never get ex before, not to talk of fighting dirty
ReplyDeleteBlame social media virus, for the sake of your marriage kids and mental health, always take a break from the apps and focus on your real life.
ReplyDeleteIf not for anything for your mental health.Before you start behaving like a mad man.
Delete@anon 14:33, social media has nothing to do with it. Stop blaming SM for the lack of self control in people. I grew up in a neighborhood in an era where SM or even cell phones existed in the country and I witnessed couples fight dirty to the extent of one going to the others work place. I witnessed fights in market places too so it has nothing to do with SM. People who fight dirty publicly either have had enough and have nothing to lose, have a story to tell or just want to play the guilt trip game. It's that simple.
ReplyDeleteNo shame people
DeleteHi Stella,
ReplyDeletePlease may I know why I am not seeing my comments, all of them today.
Thanks.๐น๐น๐น
Now I see them.
DeleteThanks Stella. ๐น๐น๐น
Did they enter ya spam pot? ๐๐
I don't even have strength for wahala, anything wey hard pass banana I no dey chop am
ReplyDeleteWill be back to read comments
My ex did me dirty, kai. We have two kids who he hardly drops cash for, I do all the fees n rent plus food, while he choose to babysit them when he can. I cannot and will not stop him from visiting his kids simply because he beats n cheats on me, never. But I've moved on, he seems not to get d memo cos since I signed d divorce papers, he has become too nice, sending me motivational quotes, sending me airtime that I didnt ask for, calls everyday to speak with d kids via video incase he cannot come, buys very expensive toys n clothes but he doesmt drop cash nor pay fees or rent, i do all that because I CAN, no worries. His new wife has called to warn me to reduce d visits n calls, I told her to speak to her husband not me. He was what u call a bad man, all through our 18yrs of marriage he sleeps at home one week in a month, after that zoom off with chics. In dat one week I must chop beating and gbola. I endured o, kai I endured before I ate hyena liver and japa.
ReplyDeleteKai! 18 years!!
Delete๐ค๐ค๐ค๐ค
Nawa ooo after 18years!
DeleteChai! Some men ehn!!! 'Useless' is the word that comes to mind
DeleteThe reason he doesn't drop money is because he doesn't want his money to be of any personal use to you, thinking he's being wise.
Thank God that you're able to provide for your kids.
If he won't drop money, he should provide the necessities. He should fill your house with foodstuff for those kids, make sure all their fees are paid. Which one is toy and cloth? Who that one epp???
I am so proud of you that you eventually left.
DeleteHave you had a conversation with him concerning their fees
They want a place they will visit without being there in times of need.
I won't pay anyone's school fees sha, that's just me, as long as you are recognized as their father, you will pay, or I simply change their names peacefully and carry all the burden myself
Ada
DeleteHe wasn't wise
He was evil not even wicked
One thing I hate most, is putting my issues out there, which is, giving people the power to have an opinion about my life. My very first boyfriend taught me that, everyone knew us in school, after the breakup, I told no one about it, it took years for me to stop answering questions about us, especially when he is seen in public with a lady
ReplyDeleteThat issue taught me alot, cos some will just ask, just to spite me up. Till today I became a very private person. Apart from my elder sister, no one knows who I'm with. And I don't also care about other people private life, cos if you're a private person, take eyes off people private life too
I move on from my ex quietly, afterall no one knows them and after breaking up, they can't ask questions
Hmmmmm.... Me I can't fight dirty with my ex oo, I had true love for the he goat lol. Even if he decides to fight dirty I can't bring myself to do same. Ka mmadu zukwanike nu nu , o bughi onwu mmadu.
ReplyDeleteI am always a private person when it comes to relationships and would forever remain one. Even as a married woman, stuffs I tell my husband about myself is very limited.
ReplyDeleteAn ex taught me a big lesson, after we broke up, he used every danm thing I told him about me to mock me, it broke me for several months but taught me that you should never totally open up to man, if you must say it out, say it to God In private.
Same goes to social media, nobody truly cares, your story would only become a sad example for singles to learn, so it’s better I suck it up and keep it moving.
Actually it is energy sapping, I can't cope honestly. I have a 7yrs daughter with an ex with no conscience whatsoever. He is the best liar that I ever met, a womanizer. We were both single when we met and I found out I was pregnant despite taking precautions, we decided that I will keep the Baby with the plans for us to get married since we are both gainfully employed but then I didn't know that he was already engaged to someone else and when I found out I stayed completely away till date. Unfortunately his 6yrs old marriage is yet to produce any child which made him try to reach out to me and my daughter. I allowed him access to his child even though he did not are for in her for years only for him to try to poison my daughter's mind against me within few months of connecting with her, when I found out then I "ghosted" him completely and he started dragging me before my family and friends but I have never responded and never will respond. I recently got married to a very amazing man a,just confirmed that I'm carrying my 2nd baby and plans are in top gears for us to relocate abroad, a project which my husband has taken full control of. It's actually very painful to him that I have refused to respond to his rants to the people that matter to me. All I have been doing is keep mum after hearing about his rants. It's better for my sanity, after all I wasn't the one that disappointed him and moreover in my part of ibo land, na the person wey pay dowry get pikin. His loss
ReplyDeleteWow!!
DeleteAmazing!
I like you already.
Don't respond to his dragging, keep your heads up.
Happy ending fir you dear.
DeleteI love ๐❤❤
I like mature minds.
ReplyDeleteWhen it ends we move.
I cannot date 'agberos' that have no shame to wash their dirty linen in public.unless you turned to a beast over night, I will block you and move on for my sanity sake.
Though I have never dated or dating anyone that can do such.
Mutual respect and understanding play a major role.
I avoid negative energy like shit.
Petty , lousy and vindictive free zone forever
DeleteBullshit detector working 24/7 by GOD's grace
Actually it is energy sapping, I can't cope honestly. I have a 7yrs daughter with an ex with no conscience whatsoever. He is the best liar that I ever met, a womanizer. We were both single when we met and I found out I was pregnant despite taking precautions, we decided that I will keep the Baby with the plans for us to get married since we are both gainfully employed but then I didn't know that he was already engaged to someone else and when I found out I stayed completely away till date. Unfortunately his 6yrs old marriage is yet to produce any child which made him try to reach out to me and my daughter. I allowed him access to his child even though he did not are for in her for years only for him to try to poison my daughter's mind against me within few months of connecting with her, when I found out then I "ghosted" him completely and he started dragging me before my family and friends but I have never responded and never will respond. I recently got married to a very amazing man a,just confirmed that I'm carrying my 2nd baby and plans are in top gears for us to relocate abroad, a project which my husband has taken full control of. It's actually very painful to him that I have refused to respond to his rants to the people that matter to me. All I have been doing is keep mum after hearing about his rants. It's better for my sanity, after all I wasn't the one that disappointed him and moreover in my part of ibo land, na the person wey pay dowry get pikin. His loss
ReplyDelete๐๐๐
DeleteLOL. Wetin wan come cause that one. I've not seen my ex neither have I spoke with him since we officially called off the relationship in feb 2020. If I run into him today, I will relate with him cheerfully and keep it moving. I'm in a far better place and I hope and pray he is too.
ReplyDeleteThis is why I don’t date people that have nothing to lose. I only date people that have too much to lose reputation wise. When we breakup we may abuse each other by going back and forth but we never ever involve a third party and after that we move and never speak again!
ReplyDeleteThis trend of bringing marital issues online is the most disgusting. I spoke against it and I was attacked on this same blog that women are not supposed to die in silence. Y
ReplyDeletemarried someone and now you're having issues, if you can't sit down and trash it out with your partner what about your immediate family members. Why bring it to a table of strangers to be feasted on. Nothing good ever comes out of it. To make it worse your innocent children will read about it someday.
They say people grieve differently
DeleteNever did, will never do it, Not worth it.
ReplyDelete