Hmmmm..
STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
ADVICE NEEDED
Good day everyone.
Please BVs look into this. I had this bike man who was always taking me to school when l was teaching, he called me sometime last month that he wanted to see me, he kept calling till the day l agreed to call him when l return from where l went to ; I called but he didn't pick or returned my calls.
He called the next day and l directed him to my place, when seated he told me with his bad English that he liked me and wanted us to be in a relationship.
I was so irritated and ended up telling him to go that l was about going to church and that l would call him when l have digested what he told me.
My question now is, how do l go about telling him my feelings for him not to feel bad? NOTE, that he is a nice and cool man and l strongly believe he's single
*Inviting him into your home was a wrong move, you could have met with him outside or somewhere else....Please be careful how you invite strangers into your home...
And you know some Bike men are thieves or informants of thieves and kidnappers in disguise.
Your feelings for him is null and that is why he will feel bad but you need to be careful how you tell him before you get midnight visitor....
Make up something....
Good luck and please keep us updated.
You should have told him then and there that you were not interested, why invite him to your house tho?
ReplyDeleteAdvice to young ladies, if any man comes to you and ask you out and you don't want anything to do with that person, just tell them immediately that you are in a relationship. What's telling him you want to think about it. Think about what? Tomorrow when you say no, you wouldn't know what you are unleashing. Some people don't take rejection kindly. Is better given hot and you stick to your gun. Simple.
DeleteYou have mind o, you invited a bike man to your house. What if something had happened or he raped you, don't ever try it again.
DeleteWhy would you even give him audience in the first place, now you're in a fix.
As I was reading I was thinking he wanted to ask for a favour. The guy get guts sha.
ReplyDeleteThat your NOTE, what does it mean?
Me too I don't know why we should NOTE that particular statement ooo
DeleteThe capital letters sends strong memo of no joke🤣🤣
DeleteWow! This is seriously serious and dangerously dangerous..I think it be nice you tell him politely
ReplyDeleteLol....
DeleteSeriously serious and dangerously dangerous 🤣🤣🤣
Love is a beautiful thing and love is blind now 🏃
Why invite him to your house. If you do not want anything to do with him, please start thinking of moving out of that house because, you can never tell. I do not trust bike men.
ReplyDeleteShe might be thinking about alot of things..you know,at times,bike men can make a good husband than some bank workers🤦
DeletePinky, why not get his contact and link him to one of your single female relative
Delete18.13 people like you will most likely miss their helpers in disguise. Continue treating people with disdain because you consider them beneath you, just continue.
DeleteHe’s a nice man but cos he’s a bike man you can’t give him a chance. I’d rather go for a nice man with prospects than a devilish rich man. Na poor e poor e no kill person. May unconditional love find him.
ReplyDeleteNa waoo
DeleteEven the bike man understands the value of dating up.
DeleteLol@ poster who said she was so irritated
DeleteGrammar nor be money ooooooo lol again
She has eyes for him already because indont see why she should add the he is a nice man and single
DeleteAbi now..the guy sef get courage.
DeleteGiving him an opportunity can be a good turn around for both of them👁️
Poster you no dey watch nollywood ni?
DeleteThe Billionaire pretend to be a bike man to look for love.
The billionaire turned to cleaner in his hotel to find true love
The rich billionaire pushing wheel barrow to find his bride.
Poster choose well o. I have said my own.
@Mc pinky very true
DeleteThanks 15:29. the same thing anon 15:11 is castigating her for is the same thing the bikeman is doing.
DeleteAre you telling me the Bike man did not see those selling stuffs on the road daily to ask out or girls working at the mamaput or buka joint where he eats. If he was a graduate who later became a bikeman due to life's situation at least that would have been different for her.
Poster might not even be right saying he is nice because everyone is nice from afar till you get close and see their true color. What if he was even nice because of his intention he has been nursing for long towards her?
Poor and nice rich and devilish? like really? why not rich and angelic? People stay doing unnecessary comparison between the rich and poor, extremely attractive with bad charcter and less attractive with good character. like which one is devilish rich man? can't a rich man be angelic or are all poor men saints? always attaching a less favourable quality with a good trait yet diminish a lovely one with a bad trait just to prove a point.
Poster don't let anyone guilt trip you. every one is allowed to have tastes and standard. you like what you like. Simple! if you were hawking on the street looking all dark and stressed out from the sun he might not even look your side.
16.29 you are a clown 😂😂
DeleteMadam Prospectus @ Anonymous 15.11. Some of you can talk nonsense sha.
DeleteAbeg go, what such of talk is that
Delete15:11 and all those vouching for him are males. Pls girls don't lower your standard for anything, let him go look for his class.
DeleteIts true ooo. Why didnt the bike man go for someone like himself. He is allowed to want to date up be she is not? Abeg oo
DeleteWhat such of what? Nna eh
DeleteThe irony is that people like 18.15 that keep on focusing on the material aspect end up with the wrong choices despite all the standard and class criteria. You think that is all that matters in life? You think fortunes cannot fade away?
Delete@ Fem, how is he dating up when she is a bike passenger? If she was truly above him in status she wouldn't be riding bikes to get around town. The man felt her body right next to him numerous times and now he is suddenly beneath her. Why would anybody put their body right next to another person that they think is less than them. What is someone like himself? Is she from Mars, he not seeking to date a completely different specie from another planet, no same human being like himself. It is best for everyone to humble themselves before life humbles them.
DeleteAlthough money isn't everything in this world, he the bike man would likely be a far better provider financially for the household than the average office worker. Some of the stories I have read on here of the suffering some graduates and office workers meet. Some not even getting wages in years, this bike man's money is sure every single day. At least she would eat well and be able to get proper medical care if any illness with this man. Buy a home sooner and build up themselves quicker if they are wise and hardworking ppl. Any woman looking for a husband these days better look at all angles and the reality of the times, cause titles can't cook in pot and put on plate when you hungry.
However, if she feels absolutely nothing for him then let him be.
16:46 I like you
DeleteAnon 20.07 thank you, well said.
Delete16.46 we know your type, continue to treat people based on their position in life. Just continue.
Make una marry....
DeleteYou don't invite just anyone to your house. Always meet them somewhere, Naija is very hot at the moment so you just have to be very careful.
ReplyDeleteTell him your are not interested. That's it.
What if the both of them later become husband and wife?..you ask her to say No but you don't know what's boiling in the writer's heart for him..forget wetin we dey read here.
DeleteWhat love cannot do doesn't exist🏃🤦🤣
Tell him you are already engaged to be married, that they have done something on your head and in your culture you are as good as married.
ReplyDeleteHe will sense she is lying cos she would have said this immediately before he even finished talking if it was true. The man is not a mumu.
DeleteShe would have said she is in a relationship when he asked her out! If u know u wil never date someone , tell them right there and then that u have someone already , telling him u will think about it , it’s like u like him and can give him a chance .. it was wrong for u to give him your address cos u don’t know if he is a jealous person that could attack u if u say no
DeleteStella God bless you...Same thing I wanted to ask? Why did you invite to your house; you shouldn't have..An open place will have been better...The thing is there is no better way to say it....
ReplyDeleteJust let him know that you don't feel that way for him but very calmly and polite...Now you have to be vigilant and watch your back..You can't vouch for anyone...Tell one or two reliable people in your life and don't patronize him anymore or entertain further calls...Please be very careful...
Yes, stop patronizing him!
DeleteIf someone says they like u and u don't feel the same way, u kindly let them down, just make up a serious relationship n discharge them, they will leave u alone, unless they have ulterior motives.
ReplyDeleteYou have to be extremely careful and nice to him because you don't know his intentions after you told him you will think about it and he will be waiting for your response
ReplyDeleteSometimes love grow now...a product does not just start making sales..na small small,,na like so garri take get levels
DeletePoster just tell him you are in a serious relationship, and that the reason you didn't tell him that day was because you didn't digest what he said that day and you were not in the mood for discussion end of story, never ever invite a total stranger into your home like Stella said, and don't give people who are not what you want the assurance of thinking about what they said interms of relationship, since you know they are not what you want.
ReplyDeleteI had so many bike men n even abokis that I bought fruits from do this , when I was in Nigeria I was always nice to them n friendly, giving tips and helping out when they needed help. Because of my generosity towards them sometimes after rendering their services to me they look for ways to escape so they won’t collect money from me as a way of paying me back for my niceness. Some of them have good heads and will genuinely like u but some start taking ur niceness for granted n think they can penetrate u from there thinking u r desperate or what have u, it comes sometimes from their self esteem and trying to feed their ego. The worst experience from this was wen One of my bike men came up with this stunt the only day I made him drop me in front of my house even though the security operatives know me very well and insist I go in with bike instead of dropping at the gate because they knew how much I hated entering cars cos I always throw up when I’m in the car .
ReplyDeleteMy advice for u get anor bikeman or make sure he doesn’t take u tru lonely parts because if he is a bad guy he will devise an evil plan to rape u or harm u for refusing his advances, mine almost did but thank God for anor bikeman at their park who I always rode with also. this is the reason I made mention of their self esteem.
Don’t insult him, talk to him calmly if u want to or totally cut him off because trust me things will never remain the same again btw u guys
With such people you tell them immediately you are married even if you are single. E get why.
ReplyDeleteBas d on logistics
DeleteIf i were you, I would have told him there that I am not interested period
ReplyDeleteFor the bike man to have the guts,maybe poster don do see finish with him.
ReplyDelete🤦
DeleteIs a bike man not a person?
DeleteWould it be right for the Poster to marry up or only her exact equal?
Or only women are entitled to marry better than them academically, educationally, financially, and socially?
Some women wish men generally what they would not wish their brothers and or sons
Forget that thing o, it's not about see finish. When i was serving in Kogi state my pure water man asked me out. This man knows i have a fiance and sees him whenever he come from Lagos to visit me,but he still had the guts to ask me out and when I declined he said he will keep on trying until i agree. I insulted him and didn't even mind the consequences. I hate rubbish.
DeleteTemmy, you insulted him and you are proud to say so? Smh
DeleteYes i insulted him and i am proud to say it. This man is even married. It's an insult on me as a person and i was embarrassed on his behalf.
DeleteGuts ke? Is he not a human being worthy of loving an being loved by another human being?
DeleteYou clearly left out the critical detail that he was married in your initial comment, and focused on him being a pure water man. Next time, put the full details and stop looking down on people because of what they do, it's the same 6ft we will all end up and pride always comes before a fall.
DeleteYou clearly left out the critical detail that he was married in your initial comment, and focused on him being a pure water man. Next time, put the full details and stop looking down on people because of what they do, it's the same 6ft we will all end up and pride always comes before a fall.
DeleteAdabekee, na so we see am oh. A human being does not deserve love or basic respect simply because he is poor, very terrible societal mindset.
Deleteplease be careful the way you move now because he know where you live and anything is possible. some of them are very dangerous.
ReplyDeletePlease let him know you are in a relationship but you can still be friends with him.then you can avoid him nicely
ReplyDeletepray make he no do juju ontop your head, please use wisdom to keep him at arms length. but seriously pray my dear that God should take his eyes away from you.
ReplyDeleteWould we have had a chronicle if this man was a brand new SUV rider who gives you a ride to work
ReplyDeleteeveryday he sees you on his route?
Do you really know this man or you are thinking about yourself, yourself, "self, self, self" (let's not put -ish to it)
Have you watched that video in Youtube where a lady CEO got married to a dirty homeless man and sent him to school and
he became an engineer, they have two kids and make appearances on US tv stations?
We love to read or watch such stories but we never think that it could be us.
Since you mentioned "church," let me believe that you are a Christian, who has a relationship with Jesus and
can seek him to know his mind about a serious issue like marriage for you.
God's Grace to you.
I come in peace. 🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗
God bless you.
DeleteGo and marry him fir yourself or your sister. You are too wicked.
DeleteYou’re right beautiful things are not always wrapped nicely
DeleteAbeg this your advice no follow.Not everyone will love to marry suffer head. There is no award for that
DeleteStop deceiving people.
Delete@16:35
DeleteAnd if she writes in again to tell us that she visited this man and discovered that he is a millionaire,
will you change your mind?
I see all the greedy girls here have gone anonymous 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
DeleteYour first paragraph 👌👌
DeleteHow's the anon wicked? People have different mindset , we had a family friend that fell in love with her fathers driver they cleaned him up and they got married , the only evil was the man later infected her with hiv due to his philandering ways.
DeleteSo if he had been educated and gone to Harvard, then infecting her with hiv wouldn't have mattered? Or is it that already made people do not philander? I'm really trying to understand your reasoning here.
DeleteI think Nollywood movies hasn't helped matters. All I see in their captions are; billionaire married a hawker bla bla bla. It's never marriage based on character but based on wealth or perceived wealth.
ReplyDelete"Nice, cool, single"
ReplyDeleteSo what's the problem, he is an okada rider, right -he is poor?
If you honestly do not like him that way, which I am not 100% sure that you are telling the truth. I feel some part of you do like him, but his status is the problem. I have no clue what his destiny will be, only God knows. If you do like him as I suspect pray and seek divine guidance.
ReplyDeleteI know someone who used to drive a minibus that now owns a successful car rental business and is now a respected man of business. He too does not have a great education, just had a dream with focus. I saw a profile of a bike man that was deported from the US who started a bike courier business and was able to purchase a home and is doing well for himself, even better than when he lived in the US. On the flip side, I know university graduates who have nothing to show for their education and money spent. The bike man could one day be something far different from what he is today, but that depends on if you want to build with someone or have your man come to you already made.
If you are certain you do not wish to pursue him just tell him you are focusing on your future right now and trying to build up yourself, you don't have time or the energy to put into a man.
all have their usefulness. Please don't deflate his ego, give him a soft landing , it must have taken lots of courage for him to tell you he likes you. Whatever you tell him , don't become his enemy or allow fear envelope your life. In the progrom in northern Nigeria prior to the civil war a truck pusherr saved the life of my uncle from a group of rioters that were killing southerners . Life is short and interesting, you two may end up helping each other someday. How can a bike rider possibly help me? The future will tell, life is dynamic, God bless you
ReplyDeleteYou shouldn’t have invited him over in the first place.. Anyway, tell him you are engaged already
ReplyDeleteTo me,I see no reason in telling him that you will call him ..Once you have no feelings then you should have made ur point clear.
ReplyDeleteI might be wrong though cuz I believe it's when a woman tend to give an issue a second thought that's when they do not give response immediately cuz this is not an issue at all.
******""****$$$*******
Boy: hello woman, I love you and want us together
Girl: am sorry, am not interested and besides am married or am engaged.
The above is totally different from
Boy: can we start us(I mean I want you as my partner.
Girl: please give me sometime to think about it. Or
Girl: Please, am kinda busy right away, I will call you to give response on what you just asked of me.
The second conversation shows a sign of interest or sign of few time for thinking if it will worth it or not
I humbly submit
What the F is Few time?
DeleteTell him you have a husband abroad😂😂
ReplyDeleteYou don't know what she had discussed with him in the past. 😆 So this your lie may not fly
DeleteAre you looking "down" on him because of his spoken English? Or because he is an Okada Rider? Or because he isn't your class??
ReplyDeleteLet me tell you a story;my Okada guy makes nothing less than 7k DAILY..
Sun or Rain;he comes to my shop to Deposit 7k Everyday;that is not even part of his feeding or take-home at the end of the day;then on Sunday he does half-day(12 to 10pm) and still deposits the 7k Monday morning before work..
7k × 30 days in a month is 210k cash..
And so you know;my Okada Guy is a graduate..
An Okada Man today with prospects can be an employer of Labour tomorrow when they plan well..
My Okada guy has two extra Okada that remit 5k each daily on a higher purchase..
Dont look down on peoples Job;most of those jobs most people term as "odd" are really lucrative...
I'm not saying you should date this one;the tone of your Chronicle and most responses think an average Okada rider is not worth a whole "You"..
We are all humans,some people just got to survive and deserve same respect and a chance at life..
@MARTINS
Thank you so much Martins for that your first paragraph especially. When I saw the part where she wrote his "bad English", I just shook my head. I hate when people treat others with disdain whether directly or indirectly. Poster, I have no words for you but if I were you I will ask for forgiveness from God for that your attitude.
DeleteWho English epp? Mko no go school oo Kim jun ung no dey speak English oo white man do us bad sha. Is English our first language? Emancipate yourself from mental slavery
DeleteSo if his English is bad, she should not say it? Hiss
DeletePoster, follow your heart. Don't open you eyes and enter inside suffering all in the name of marriage.
Apart from the financial aspect, the bikeman may have self esteem issues and start abusing her emotionally. Any small thing, you will hear" is it because I am not as educated as you?"
He would now be possessive and insecure
18.27 are you describing a situation you know about personally? Cos I don't see where poster added all these details you are implying. Simply because he drives bike? Na wa. No one is asking her to marry him but that is not enough reason to treat people with disdain.
DeleteMy Gee!!!
DeleteNice one .
Never look down on anybody. An Okada man can become rich tomorrow.
ReplyDeleteI have an okada man that takes me and my friends to school and everywhere when I was in school. A very cool and nice guy and we were from same place but different village. His spoken English wasn’t that good but he was trying.
Last year December, I went home for my cousin’s wedding and during the market shopping, someone was shouting my name and when I turned to see who, lo and behold it was my okada rider back then in school but this time, he was looking so tush. Couldn’t recognize him oh until he told me it’s me your okada rider in school. We hugged and both shouting, people were wondering if we were okay.
In fact I left my people oh and we went to one shop were we sat and got chatting. He told me he just came back to Nigeria after spending 7 years in USA , I shout how come!!!!
That was how he told me how one of the student he was also a bike man to, was the one that took him to USA and enrolled and saw him through school there. You need see the last eat Range Rover he was driving.. Infact he gave me and my cousins ride home that day and he still knew my family house, came for my cousin’s wedding.
If you don’t like him, you can tell him calmly and make him see reasons why and still be friends.
This your story happens to only one in a million okada riders. Can't even deal
DeleteOf course you can't deal, greedy fellow.
DeleteIf you don't like him tell him so. But please not all bike men are bad
ReplyDeleteReading through the comments here makes me appreciate the lifestyle and mindset abroad where there is dignity in labour and people are treated with respect regardless of what they do.
ReplyDeleteNigerians carry status and money for head, only respect people with money. Well, see the state of our country. What a shame.
Poster, you asked for advice on how to present your rejection of his proposal and handle him after.
ReplyDeleteEnough advice has been given above. Make your choice. Just be politely firm. Dont let him think you are playing hard to get. If he is a nice man as you said he will understand, leave you alone and move on.
Because of the security issues raised by other Bvs, consider telling your family (especially a mature/elder/old male) about the matter and give the person the man's telephone number for records.
Please do not meet with him again in your apartment. Meet in a public place. If a church brother or sister can chaperon you that day, better.
In all you do or say, drop him gently. I guess this is why you want BVS to note he is nice and cool and single; that is, he is not a playman.
For fellow BVs, who believe that the bikeman was overreaching himself, we read here just few weeks ago that a bike man financed the university eucation of a woman he wanted to marry; a bike man told me that his colleague was also sponsoring a woman in school.
But it is good for every woman to marry the "class" she wants. That way, she finds it easier to climb on and sleeps well on the class of bed she chose.