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Sunday, October 10, 2021


When a husband cheats and is caught and he begins to beg, there are things the wife should take into consideration.....

“Guy man come out, let’s hang out na”. It was one of my friends, we were having a phone conversation. I looked at my time, it was just 2pm. I felt it was too early to go out at that time of the day.

It was about end of the month and my head was filled with calculations of bills to pay for the month. I needed to clear my head, so I went out to meet him at the hangout spot ....

I met him sitting with one petite young lady. I hailed him “HLO!”.

HLO was a title we gave to him because of his randy ways. Literarily, HLO which means helicopter landing officer; is a person who is responsible for booking, checking-in, dispatching and ensuring that helicopters lands and take-off safely as the case is in offshore operations.

He has been married for more than five years and his cheating ways has always been a very big issue. I had previously been part of the “begging committee” that went to appease his wife on one of those occasions when they had issues after being caught in the act.

Funny enough, his wife is a hothead. Her fiery temper has been taken to the limits because of his cheating ways. On one occasion, she broke their HD curve television which was worth about half a million at that time during one of the fights. 

In another occasion, she abandoned their one-year-old child in the house, put on a bum short and called him to come home from wherever he was to come take care of their child, that she has gone out to also have her own “fun”.

My friend had to call neighbors to help take care of the child and rushed home to meet the crying and feverish child. She didn’t return till the next day. All these and other acts she put on just to make sure that he stops cheating. She has reported him to the church and he has been severally suspended from church activities.

So, when I met him with this young lady, all I could do was smile. Afterall me sef nor be still better person.

Some minutes after 5pm, he said he was leaving. “So quick, fellowship has not even started?” I asked. My friend who used to be the life of the party obviously wants to go home. “O boy, I am now a changed man. I must get home before 6pm. I nor want my wife wahala”, 

He promptly finished his drink and left with the young lady.

He gave me the full gist the next day when I called him to ask what actually happened and why the new change or the present modus operandi; because as far as I am concerned. HLO is still HLO.

He told me that after the last altercation with his wife, both families were called in to help settle the matter and he promised that he has changed his ways and for the sake of peace, he will be coming home early. So, for now, he does all his “business” and returns home before 6pm. I laughed so hard and teased him. Because I know its only a question of time before old habits will return. I wished him the best.

So, I would like to ask, do cheating men change? or do they look for better ways to hide their cheating ways?

My simple answer to this question is “yes, a cheating man can change”. There is a big “but” to this answer.

Firstly, nobody can stop or force a cheating man to change except by himself or God. Not even the fear of STDs, death, losing his wife and family or the scandal that will normally result from it, will stop him. I’m not even going to talk about religion or the fear of God here because even some sanctimonious folks even cheat more.

Whenever I see women fighting their husbands and causing lots of troubles or evening fighting other women because of their husbands. I feel for them. Though I am not saying women shouldn’t hold their husbands accountable; I just saying tackle such men with wisdom and leave the marriage if you think you have done your best to cope. Yes, I said that…some men will never change.

Secondly, women need to realize that cheating for lots of men is an acquired habit. And like most habits, it is very difficult to change. I have been trying to change for the past two years, and it has been a huge struggle. Sometimes, I lose guard but in all I would say I am winning the battle. Bottom-line is, changing from the cheating habit takes time, with the help from God and a strong resolve to remain discipled.

For people like me that have the means, the opportunities and the availability of willing participants. It takes a lot of work to remain faithful, especially for someone who has formed a habit of it.

Thirdly, most men will stop cheating for two reasons. Convenience and Consequence. Others will say they have given their lives to God hence the change. I am not God to know their hearts; so, I would rather stick to the first two reasons.

Lots of men cheat today because they can afford to (convenience) and they know they can get away with it when they are caught (consequence). When you take away any one of these two. Ninety percent of men won’t cheat. These two concepts can be interpreted in so many ways depending on the person involved and with they can afford to lose in terms of convenience and consequence.

A friend of mine who has relocated to the UK has become all lovey-dovey. Baba used to be an “Urhobo demon” back in the days. He knows he will lose his family and business if he dares misbehaves. So, he comes back to Nigeria every once or twice in a year to “collect”.

Some men stopped cheating after having terrible experiences or near-death encounters. Others won’t dare think of cheating on their wives because they know that the consequences will be brutal. For the third category who don’t cheat because of the fear of God; I say kudos to them. However, that is between them and their God and I will also classify that under consequences.

Lastly, women need to realize that many men are not fools or stupid. Lots of them have done some rationalization before they started cheating; and lots of them are already prepared for the consequences and the inconveniences.

Women, whenever you catch your man in the act and he starts begging for forgiveness; as always ask yourself. “What is it this man prepared to lose before he started cheating?” If you can figure out the answer to that question, then you have solved half of the problem. The other half is knowing with to do with that information. That will be a subject for another day’s discussion.

Got to go now, till next week.


Wow, Beautiful writeup my dear Sugar daddy!


  1. It is one thing to cheat, and another apostacy level to brag about it
    and give it a nick name.
    Where are your sensitivities. Someone, a woman is hurting and you are busy aiding and abetting the philandering's husband and giving him nicknames HLO?
    Just know that if you and your "Helicopter landing crew" members do not repent, you will one day crash land in hell fire. Jesus arms are still open to save completely

    1. You just committed a sin bigger than cheating by wishing him death@your last paragraph..."you will one day crash land in hell fire"
      You are preaching for him to repent but committing another sin

    2. Alexander she is just reiterating what she read in the Bible. Don't you have a Bible which talks about the final destination of adulterer?
      Are you a pagan that doesn't know the doctrine?

    3. @14:45
      My last sentence is; Jesus arms are still open to save completely.
      Anyone who repents is forgiven by Jesus, including the thief on the cross.
      But if he ciao continues to go with his HLO crews, it is a pathway to perdition.
      And you did not "sin" by lying about what I wrote or did not write up there?
      14:53 has answered you.

    4. Thanks for this piece Married Man.
      I always look up to reading your write ups every Sunday.
      Every cheat of a man pays for it at old age: ask yourself why their kids or grand kids doesn't care about him. Mama blossoms and flourishes while papa shrinks.
      And No, the women does not have to brain wash the kids at all, the kids are clever, they see, feel and observe the family atmosphere.
      Stop cheating, don't cheat. Male and female: don't.

    5. As much as I love reading your comment ××××, please which one Is another level of apostasy? Do not judge nor condemn which you did, and I think you should calm down to understand what he is saying rather than read to reply

    6. COG you really saved me from typing. Na for old age the women de deal with them. You think children dont see their mothers crying because of a cheater father...Continue. Look around your neighbohood. Good and faithful fathers are dear while the unfaithful ones are far...

  2. Its not a sin for men to cheat but abomination for women to do.

    1. Does that mean all these married cheating are gays? and they are cheating with their fellow men? Don't you need women as a participant to cheat with in the first place?

      13:40 If you believe what you wrote then you contradict yourself. Because it is common sense.

    2. When both genders cheat, it is abomination...

      But this is what the poster is trying to say

      "Women, whenever you catch your man in the act and he starts begging for forgiveness; as always ask yourself. “What is it this man prepared to lose before he started cheating?” If you can figure out the answer to that question, then you have solved half of the problem. The other half is knowing with to do with that information"

  3. How do men lay with another woman and not have a bit of conscience. I can't love someone and see my self being with another person in the name of having fun. Honestly there is no excuse for cheating. None..

    1. The same way some married women do it without the fear of God🤦🤣

    2. Cheating in married men will reduce when ladies start treating their cheating husbands the way men treat their cheating wives.

      But like oga poster talk, if you leave your husband wetin he go lose?
      Judging from the chronicles we read here, a lot of you ladies will be the one to lose if you leave your cheating husband.

      If the consequence will be severe on the husband if the wife leave, a lot of married men who cheat will become faithful.

      Just know that a husband can be cheating on his wife and still love her. So love can't hold him down.

  4. My gender will come at him now but he just said the truth. You see that what is at stake for him to even start is a huge one we ladies need to find an answer to.

  5. My husband cheated until he had a child. Ah e pain me cos of all we suffered and went through. Anyway I am bidding my time. When the time is right I go japa!!

    1. I swear with my right breast that you are going no where. Time ko time ne. You must answer Mrs. Na your type dey laugh single matured ladies but you no dey sleep for night due to randy husband.

    2. Don’t bet on it o. I had a friend that left her husband 10 years after he had a child outside. All of us weak I swear. The man was broken. Something he thought they had worked through. She just waited for the children to all enter uni and she left. Some Women get hard heart cement!!

    3. Some women don't leave while some bid their time, for whatever reason, to leave later.
      My last daughter is getting married by the end of this s year and I 'm leaving. I actually stayed because I have four girls and for some old -school reason of not wanting them to get married as products of a broken home I stayed.
      Their Dad is good in his own ways, almost 90% good but I wish he flaw wasn't adultery.
      He claims he has changed but I know if a man fears the repercussions of his adultery if caught and so he's forced to be pious, it's only a matter of an opportunity where the wife would never know that would make him fall again. It takes the deep love and fear of God(Joseph's type) that can change things.
      What happens when I travel and he's left alone for a while?
      Imagine he fear of having sex with someone who has slept with someone who has slept with someone else...So terrifying! Why can't we all just have a romp together to save everyone stress....totally disgusting
      I lost a deeply committed Christian friend, a first class graduate of engineering from a Fed Uni in the 90s to death by AIDS from her equally spirikokon brilliant husband making their children orphans
      I don't plan on remarrying because he Bible is against it, no plan to sleep around but live my life on my own terms without wondering which legion of demons have been transferred to me or which STD I could contract
      The fear and anxiety makes intimacy meaningless because you just keep wondering.....
      Running tests to check for this or that all the time
      Praying together is also a problem because we've been Christians for years yet the adultery persisted
      I'm not judging but the remaining years left(which I do not know) I want to spend serving my God, enjoying my grandkids( not living with anyone but in my own house) , traveling and generally living well.

    4. Anon 15:12, Don't swear on top something you don't know.

      Anon 16:24, Reading your story broken my heart. A cheating Christian partner is the worst to have. May God lead you alright ❤❤❤

    5. If anything happens to your right breast in future, at least you will know what happened.

  6. The fear of having a kid outside my matrimonial home is the beginning of wisdom. I no fit go use my hands bring problem to my family. I have a friend that can't stop talking about escapades, I smile when he is talking. Have sex with the women you can , but once you marry respect and dignify your wife. My dad told me the life of every man is in the hands of their wives. Be careful how you treat them. A good wife today can become a monster tomorrow.

    1. God will continue to help u keep to ur vows, cheating is not in anybody's DNA....there are men that are faithful to their wives

    2. Your last paragraph is it. Mine has turned me into someone I never knew i could be. I always forgave but I told him he was wiping out the trust. The recent episode gave him a scare because the lady told him he was pregnant. He panicked and I was prepared to leave with my pregnancy but he found out the lady lied about it because he stopped seeing her..still there is no ease at Zion. He might be shaken but I am also being careful and cautious. I have made mind,if another episode occurs,I will quietly leave. I cannot be supporting a man who isn't buoyant but still uses the small we manage to cheat.

  7. So true sir, some men don't cheat because of the consequences. A man that loves his wife changes completely to make her happy.

  8. My husband cheated on me once, I caught him and I don't see him the same way I used to. My mind is out of the marriage, I only have sex when I want it (with protection of course)
    I'm planning to do my masters in Canada with his money and once I'm settled there, he can go with his hoes. I will take my two boys along side and he'll never set his philandering eyes on them ever again. Y'all that think women are that nice to forgive and continue like nothings happened, u must be very mad. Not all women take cheating well. Some don't mind though but for those who do, the consequences are grave. Xoxo

    1. When the boys are of age, you can't stop them from seeing their father. Don't destroy your boys with your anger. Go slave yourself and see your boys through sch. They must see their father when they want. If their father chooses to see them, he call them back home with his words or go the extra mile

  9. You said it all,I think my hubby lives in fear of consequence cos I will not think twice to take a walk and ,so it's best I don't know and I know how much he treasures family cos he is the only monogamist in his family.
    I will never tolerate it

  10. Poeple cheat simple because they were not raised right . A man without discipline will always cheat no matter the consequences. Most see thier father's or mother's do it and get away with, so see no reason to be faithful.

  11. My husband cheated and I knew through his phone, immediately he realized it, he just changed his password and pretended as if everything is fine. I'm not the type that likes fighting or creating unnecessary scenes, but they're no longer together now, don't know maybe he's dating someone else now.

    I'm just tired of the marriage, I'm never appreciated no matter what I do, and he will want you to appreciate him from now till eternity because he's taking care of his family, I do that a lot, always appreciating him, even telling the baby to always say thank you whenever he buys him anything. I'm working too but the salary is nothing to write about.

    Then he can compare me to all his exes like what I don't know, still chatting everyone of them, and always reminds me of how many women are looking for husbands outside, hence I should always appreciate him everyday. I'm a very beautiful woman with nice stature even after a child, I even get compliments from women for my beauty and stature, yet he has never appreciated me, I just pray I will not have any reason to cheat because I get compliments from men a lot, both physical and on SM.

    This our God is just wonderful, I married him a virgin in my early 30s, no one can believe I was a virgin then because I'm exposed and doesn't even look reserved, he never even believed I could be one. So getting married late or as a virgin doesn't even guaranteed a good marriage, only God does.

    1. Saying getting married as a virgin does not guarantee a good marriage does that mean getting married as a non-virgin with excessive sexual experience to please your husband in bed also guarantee a good marriage or the fact that your sexual skills will hold him back from cheating?

      All the mem that cheats how many of their wives did they marry a a a virgin? a cheat is a cheat.

      please, I hear this your last sentence every time and I get confused.

      Virgin or not it is only God that give a good marriage. you are right about that.
      But Did this God give you the go ahead to marry him. like you prayed and fasted and you had divine revelation from God that he is the one?

      He might not even be the one God wanted for you. Please ignore his ways and kill his live in your heart because cheats hardly change and try your best to save from the little you are making. Don't try to get pregnant again and try to find your exit before you get depressed and develop low self esteem with his daily demeaning words of insults.

      You don't have to stay there.

  12. Not easy for both parties but it's Cumming while watching porn term cheating too?

  13. nice write up. All u said is the truth though cheating is more like karma. 70percent of ladies cheat with married men. What do you expect when you marry yours.. At the point God cannot answer you prayer because you did it to someone else. we all need the mercy of God

  14. I once worked in a male dominated environment. What my eye saw. My mouth cannot say it. This life is deep

  15. My husband cheated on me the first time with a very dirty social media slay queen,I found out that the time it happened was when our son was on admission in the hospital battling for his life,and I was a wreck,guy man even blamed me for his son's sickness, Meanwhile chats discovered later on with the babe,corresponded to the time our son was on admission.Although he apologised, i went ahead and got even(yes they say 2 wrongs dont make a right),but that was the only way i could forgive him,and besides, I know its not yet over and might happen again..
    Will finally leave his philandering ass when what Im pursuing clicks.

    1. Madam you are guilty as him, no need to vex again.

      You cheated because you wanted to. So own your shit.

    2. @ Chile, thank you for jumping on her because she cheated with not a single comment for the husband. Good that she cheated. I only hope she found love not just a one night stand.

  16. Mine cheats even with the maids, once he is fed up, he will fire them. So this time he went to bring in an ex maid to come work again, I just let d girl know dat I know all there moves, husband had no idea that I knew. So it seems d informed him that I know everything. He called me a witch, that I can kill, that how can I keep quiet in d midst of all the stuff? Funny thing is, I am not even pissed nor angry, I find it thrilling when I caught them at d back of d stairs, I just laughed only d maid use her hand run. This new one, I told herto tell my husband to rent a house for her unless she is a fool. My husband is just tired of my nonchalance. Reason why I don't care is, I am a very selfish person, I put my kids n myself first, he comes last. I only told him to keep a mistress handy in old age... because me don't have time to care for anyone.

    1. That's a toxic environment,you are not happy and you deserve better than u are taking.

    2. @Tenth, lots of marriages are toxic environments

  17. This topic today is thread of chronicles of unhappy people with a cheating spouse...

    It's unfair that each time this post is made, some bvs will ignore the message and be castigating the messenger.. Your reaction got nothing on him.. He is writing his truth perhaps a form of therapy for him..

    Learn and move on.

  18. Look! some men can't stop cheating because some are under curses or spells! It is not easy for us!

  19. Cheating does more mental/psychological damage let's not even go to the physical one for the fear of STI and its chairman HIV/AIDS...say no to cheating

  20. I don't care. She can leave if she wants.

    1. Don't worry in old age, you will care. The measure you give is the measure you will receive

  21. Sir, this is a masterpiece.
    You are so realistic.


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