Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: CHRONICLES OF A MARRIED MAN – 49

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Sunday, October 31, 2021

CHRONICLES OF A MARRIED MAN – 49

“What is a married man looking for in “Badoo”, what are you doing there?”









It was one of those early morning conversations I would rather not have with my wife. Of course, she has traversed the length and breadth of my phone the previous night looking for exactly what I don’t know. She actually read all the conversation on the app before deleting it.

Thankfully, my conversations are always seemingly “innocent”. 

Talk about phone laundry.

“Boredom and survival offshore. Sometimes due to loneliness at sea and the long time away from friends and family, it’s one of the ways of keeping myself busy during my free time”, I would explain. That’s is always the answer I usually give to her. Her reaction is always one of disgust whenever I give such answers.


“What about reading books, talking to me your wife, or just simply watching the TV? So, it is chatting with random women online that kills boredom abi?”. At such times I would have to reassure her that they were just harmless conversations and she has nothing to worry about, or is there?

We had this conversation about three times within a two-year period; and after the third time when she deleted all the social media and dating apps from my phone except Facebook; that I finally did something about it. Besides such apps were becoming counterproductive and more of a nuisance to my life.


I was introduced into the world of online dating in 2007 when he had the “Glo chat”. Then, acquittances were made by using SMS code and the follow-up conversation was via text messaging. It was crazy and quite exciting at that time as it opened up a whole new world to me and it was a way to meet women like never before. From there I graduated to other forms of online dating apps as the years went by.


By the time I got married, I was neck deep into online dating apps. Like the saying goes, old habits die hard. It was not really about the “hook-up” per se, but the thrill of having to make new random friends and the mystery of not knowing who is at the other end of the phone was an interesting feeling.

Over time, I became very good at it and with the help of technology, I could easily unveil people’s real identities and that even helped in “weeding” off certain people. I could easily tell if people were scams and even access their real profile without them knowing. I met lots of interesting women online.


It was one habit I wished I never really formed.

I basically feel that once you start engaging in such third-party online conversations that you won’t be comfortable enough to allow you partner see; you are already cheating. It is only a question of time before the actual event happens.

Even when I meet young single ladies online who said they would never “do” a married man. After a long period of regular online chatting, the feelings will start developing. It’s only a question of time before the inevitable will happen. And if you add the money factor into the scheme of things, as some of us married men have mastered the act of using money in manipulating women, it becomes a different thing altogether.

So, in the words of my wife “there’s nothing like an online friend. It’s either you are sleeping with her or you will eventually do”, Since she didn’t have any evidence to prove it. All she had left was to delete such apps from my phone whenever she sees them.


I had remained free from online dating apps for almost three years until last year when I attempted the SDK’s “Single and Mingle” Covid na bastard...yea, you guessed right. I am one of the useless married men wey nor dey hear word. We had to spoil the show for eligible young men! 

God will surely punish us!

I will surely tell my Stella's singles mingle story in one of my episodes in the future. I actually made some interesting findings which I’m sure you would like to know and also why some young women keep missing it on their single and mingle adventures.


Online dating apps have become one of the leading causes of cheating in marriages today and the women will always be on the losing end.

First, stop fighting your husbands because of online dating apps. He won’t stop until he sees the consequences or something unfortunate happens to him. Men addicted to online dating apps will always find ways to get back on no matter what the wife does. Just pray for him and ensure you understand how to manage and use the “convenience and consequence” paradigms in dealing with the cheating husband. He won’t stop unless he sees what is beyond him.


Secondly, like every third other party involvement, it will always have its effect on your marriage. Apart from the distraction and the temptation of always wanting to meet up with the person on the other end of the phone and possibly “hooking up” and cheating on your partner; the consequential emotional and financial involvement is another issue. It was also taking valuable time I would have spent with my wife and family whenever I am in town.

For the married men, you always feel the need to always want to help a friend in financial need. You have to help pay fees, upkeeps, house rents, not forgetting the urgent “2ks” you may have to regularly send. In cases where such friendship develops into a romantic relationship of sorts; you still have to maintain it.

Imagine in this economy where everyone is struggling, even the “haves”. Online friends will finish your limited resources.

Thirdly, if you are not careful and disciplined, online dating apps can become an addiction; and a very difficult one to break away from. You need to come offshore and see people’s husband “hustling on the online”. We almost demobilized one personnel some months back as he wasn’t getting enough sleep and his BP was getting high. We later found out he was always awake chatting with his online girlfriends.

Like any other addiction, you will never be satisfied. You will always have the need to make new friends online. Always curious to want to meet people. It is a never-ending rat hole. After having two horrible experiences towards the end of 2017, I had to stop. I didn’t bother reinstalling the apps after my wife deleted it. It wasn’t even that I was having any romantic relationship with most of them.

Online dating apps and making friend online isn’t a bad thing. We all know as married people when we start crossing that thin line. We can always do better.

See ya’all next week!

Ciao!





*Hmmmmmm!!!

64 comments:

  1. I can bet Ang is on the way....

    In my view, it's simply a hallmark of indiscipline, lack of self control.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ahh oga
      Come and gist us your single and mingle waka

      Delete
    2. It's sad your shameless lifestyle sounds like fun to you

      Delete
  2. I know dating apps favour some but I have this mentality that bad things happen there. That one ends up getting set up or entangled with 'an agent' sent from the pit of hell todeal with you. So, I avoid them apps.

    Respect to those that have found love, partners and mates there.

    I'm that old skull to believe good things happen there.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I met my husband on badoo, that's the early days of badoo Sha. I thank God for blessing me with this wonderful man

      Delete
    2. Met my hubby online through face of festac ,its like a chatting room 16 years ago.

      Delete
  3. Waiting for the SDK single and mingle experience. I have heard stories, I have read a whatapp chat between two naive bvs

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. U too wan try? Abeg no spoil show for our ladies but pray for them.

      @poster... Do you know that your wife can be your chatting buddy? I pray those into the online dating will stop.

      Delete
  4. It is arduous to be married to a kind of man like you who is a conscienceless philanderers' be it online on onsite.
    You put your wife through impossible emotional trauma.
    And being unrepentant about it and hiding under the banner of our highly esteemed Lord even in marriage in the Church is the height
    of hypocrisy and abysmal apostacy.
    Tufiakwa. ๐Ÿคฎ๐Ÿคฎ๐Ÿคฎ๐Ÿคฎ๐Ÿคฎ๐Ÿคฎ๐Ÿคฎ๐Ÿคฎ๐Ÿคฎ๐Ÿคฎ๐Ÿคฎ

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. No need being a moral police. He isnt different from 90% of tbe married and single men out there. In fact, its painful, But necessary to hear what goes through their minds via this poster. Women have to be realistic about what is obtainable.. Hope for the best, prepare for the worst.
      Even thw bible says, "woe unto him that puts his arm of trust in flesh." so keep your trust and love between you and God.

      Delete
    2. Stop being a Judgina.
      You're not Our Saviour Jesus Christ!
      He has written a story for people that are smart to learn 1 or 2 things from.
      Madam, zukwanu ike!

      Delete
    3. You need Jesus. Do you want him to stop this column?. SDK has space for people that want to write. Why not send her a mail so that you will write and teach us how a 'matried" man should behave. Please let's stop this blog bulling Don't be the reason an innocent person is hurt in a faceless blog.

      Delete
    4. @Olive
      You see as you have jumped into statistics and quoting the Bible? And your statistic is from where?
      There is no moral policewoman here. When I see or read despicable things, I make it known that that is what it is.
      Make your own opinion too and move. If you submit to Christ, discipline your flesh in fasting, and purify your mind with God's Word, you won't sell out to the
      flesh like this man does and expect us to hail him. "Cursed is anyone that calls evil good and good evil."

      Delete
    5. @Zaram
      Sdk also have "enough space" for people to comment. Stop bullying a woman who commented her views on a topic. Inukwa

      Delete
    6. Lol Ang, you never disappoint. Someone said you are on your way and here you are looooool.

      Delete
    7. Lol Ang, you never disappoint. Someone said you are on your way and here you are looooool.

      Delete
    8. Shez heeeeeere!!!!๐Ÿ˜‚

      Delete
  5. I am one of the useless married men wey nor dey hear word. We had to spoil the show for eligible young men...this got me ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hmmmmm. It's not funny to me. So, it's actually true that married men explore the single and mingle ...

      It's really sad...

      Delete
    2. 50% are married men,30% are yahoo guys,20% are fuckboys..5% na to catch cruiwe..3% na boredom dey cause am..2% are real

      Delete
    3. They will keep stringing people who genuinely seek companionship, it's not right.

      Wo oga, I won't judge you o, but what happens if the table turns, if it's your wife doing all these? Have you asked yourself this question because cheating no get gender

      Delete
  6. I can't get my head around this, but what is a married man doing on dating apps? Well except you have an open marriage, then I see no reason why a married man or woman should be on a dating app...or is it normal and I am the abnormal one?? Are humans, dogs??

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You are fully normal, but unfortunately there are many abnormal people these days.

      Delete
  7. Where are the women that defend this charlatan, can you ladies be married to a man like this who chats and sleeps with anything that stoops to pee?
    ๐Ÿ˜ฎ๐Ÿ˜ฎ๐Ÿ˜ฎ๐Ÿ˜ฎ๐Ÿ˜ฎ๐Ÿ˜ฎ๐Ÿ˜ฎ๐Ÿ˜ฎ๐Ÿ˜ฎ๐Ÿ˜ฎ๐Ÿ˜ฎ๐Ÿ˜ฎ๐Ÿ˜ฎ

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I didn't read where he said he slept or wanted to sleep with any lady..abi you get something against the man

      Delete
    2. 13:35
      Are you new to this blog and this column? He has been saying it; that their pastime even while unmarried and in marriage, he and his
      lofty friends is to sample any woman of their choice who is available for the money. He and his wife even lied to the "pastor counselor" that
      they were chaste before marriage. That seems to score the point that they were birds of same feather.

      Delete
    3. I'm actually referring to this particular post.not talking about the previous posts

      Delete
    4. Ang, why are you always bringing up people's pasts continuously? Same thing you do on every tega post, where you will be asking questions and replying yourself. God sees you o, being an accuser of people, work He did not assign to you.

      Delete
    5. @Heaven check
      It is a series and you cannot disentangle one from the other. His character is to flirt and to fornicate...and worse still, brag about it.
      Both he and his friends.

      Delete
    6. And now he has realized his mistakes and he is giving us men some good advise to desist from such act

      Delete
    7. Heaven
      Please quote one sentence that shows repentance๐Ÿ˜ณ๐Ÿ˜ณ

      Delete
  8. What you have said is very due. Social media apps, whether dating or not is addictive.

    "I basically feel that once you start engaging in such third-party online conversations that you won’t be comfortable enough to allow you partner see; you are already cheating. It is only a question of time before the actual event happens" this phrase says it all..

    ReplyDelete
  9. This is so disgusting to read.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Mtchewwwwwwwww
    Shook my head through out the write up. I pity your wife. No wonder she's an angry bird.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. As in, he actually went in for Singles and Mingle. If I'm to write what's on my mind about him, stella won't post.

      Delete
  11. Anyone, whether single or married on an online dating app in this country can NEVER be taken seriously by me. Wetin I dey find online? I don finish with the ones weh I dey see daily? Na so I take worwor or desperate reach? Yahoo boys and hoeloshos app..


    Ashawo, all of them, forget anything they put on their profile..

    I have a useless, drunk and cigarette addicted distant relation who engages in it some year back. From baddo to what not, he usually beg me to help him chat the girls.. you'll see a girl who post hobbies-reading, book-bible, drink- never, only to chat her up and next you'll hear is how much do you want to pay, or if you're slacking in the discussion, she'll just tell you about"her sick mom" or rent issues she's facing, then you'll invite her to your home to come and collect the monetary 'aid' ... Ashawo and stupid nonentities full there.. even that my useless distant relation that alcohol and cigarette has finished his life, see his profile, smoke- I hate smoking, drink- socially ๐Ÿ™„.. the fellow useless girls sef that put NEVER drank on her profile would arrive and the first thing she'll ask for is weed and alomo bitters๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚.. my few months stay in that house opened my eyes to some more Life experiences, I found out how some girls won't mind opening legs for a guy who refuses to brush his mouth for days and who won't flush after using his toilet, just cos his momsi has lotsa cash and she's spoiling him as her only child..

    Back to the topic, with all I have seen and witness, I'll be very slow to castigate a married man that cheats, lots of these women did same while single, even just last week, one that I even thought was innocent shocked me.. calling person husband baby and saying she only went to see him at the hotel room cos he lodged there.. greed no let them see front.. you go delete dating app tire from your husband phone when you marry.. you go marry oga chronicle poster๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜.. your husband go participate for SDK single and mingle..

    #walks out and slam the door

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes he begged you to help him chat them up indeed ๐Ÿ™„๐Ÿ™„๐Ÿ™„

      Delete
    2. This one is always fighting with himself sha. Lmao
      O ma se oh!

      Delete
    3. Eka, why don't you come out in full to explain what you mean, I honestly can't make sense of it and I doubt anyone would after reading my comment up there..

      You see that patronising of ashawo life style? It irritates the fuck outta me.. I find such really demeaning for my person, let alone the girl who brings herself to be bargained for such trash and sleep with anyone ready to pay.. that nasty habits doesn't fall under my characteristic of a badguy

      Delete
    4. Dante, she is doubting your story na ๐Ÿ˜‚ meanwhile will take offence if anyone doubts hers.

      Delete
    5. Ewoooo!

      It's no longer your imaginary friend but now a useless distant relative?๐Ÿ˜‚

      Wonderful!!

      Delete
  12. Let me laugh first ๐Ÿ˜€ I like reading your post, you are always truthful in your write-up..you be really Badoo ๐Ÿ˜œ

    ReplyDelete
  13. Thanks once again for this. Keep opening our eyes to things men do. I don't even know that married men and women partake in single and mingle

    ReplyDelete
  14. May we not marry idiots as husbands sha.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Offshore men? Hmmmm worst set of people. The day I heard that one deeper life man that I respect a lot and felt he is the only good, decent offshore man actually cheated on the wife. I gave up. Those people their cheating game is on another level. At a point I thought na competition between them

    ReplyDelete
  16. In other countries, your wife would have sued for divorce and taken half of that money you made offshore, and you will have your indiscipline to thank for that.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ha!!! Thank GOD this is nigeria, take his half hard earn money because of cheating, common cheating, nonsense.

      Delete
    2. Thank God for adultery without consequence? Which God? Smh. Well, even in Nigeria, the men eventually reap the bitter fruits.

      Delete
    3. And u think its every woman abroad that finds out her husband is cheating that divorces him? Some go fight their rivals like our nija women

      Delete
    4. Lovetoloveu, where did you see EVERY?
      Secondly, do you live abroad or understand their values? If you've lived among them for long, you would know their mentality is very very different to the typical Nigerian woman.

      Delete
  17. Poster, you're an horrible person. Even joining the single and mingle and still having the mouth to say, where some girl miss? Are you really okay? No conscience at all? Why add a person that needed true love and even judging their character? I pity your wife, she is the most unluckiest married woman. I weep for you. Give your life to Christ, wholeheartedly, it the most peaceful feelings you will ever experience. I'm pained, cos if you know what it takes to apply that stuff and keep hoping that you will meet someone genuine only for you to keep adding them. One day you will give account of all this things you're doing. I pray you accept God into your life

    ReplyDelete
  18. But for naija...women na we die there after-all all men cheat, very low self-esteem the lot of them..KMT

    ReplyDelete
  19. Bros you are really exposing married men.

    ReplyDelete
  20. Met 2 offshore guys here too,but not from single and mingle sha, both married, we connected from an advert I placed here sometimes ago, they're my best buddies, I'm married too, we chat almost everyday,they've been source of help to my business

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Chat almost everyday? I personally wouldn't be comfortable having such a constant level of interaction.

      Delete
    2. And your husband could also be chatting with "offshore ladies" everyday; And they are a constant source of help to his libido; how about that?

      Delete
  21. Stella, what happened to my comment?

    ReplyDelete
  22. Interesting read... Very refreshing and revealing ....
    Please. Come and tell us about the singles and mingles adventures ๐Ÿ˜›

    ReplyDelete
  23. I laugh in this exposure. Atleast will know what I'm entering to.That my hubby to be is an online addict and can never change.He is always patronising the ashawos and in many online dating app,so I sincerely doubt he will change if I marry him..

    But we move regardless cos he will regret everly .

    ReplyDelete

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