Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative..

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Saturday, November 06, 2021

Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative..

 Hmmm....




STAND ALONE NARRATIVE...
MAN WITH ZERO PHYSICAL ATTRIBUTE.



Good day
 Stella. 
Please help me post this under narrative as I really need mature advice.


I met a guy recently, and he is everything I have ever wanted in a man, except his physical attributes.

I feel so comfortable with him, and no man has ever treated me like he does. It's like he was born with inbuilt knowledge on how to love me. I am a complex person sort of, so this is a rare occurrence for me.


It's hard for me to find a man who "gets" me. I have had several suitors in the past and present, but I always shy away from commitment with them, because I just don't feel at home with them.


This is the only man that I have felt I can be with long term. Unfortunately, his physical attributes are not my spec. I wish it were possible for him to switch bodies with some of my other suitors. But ironically, even though he is not my spec as per looks, we have strong s#xual chemistry, and we have not even had s#x.


In fact, the only thing stopping me from accepting his proposal is the "spec" thing.

The sensible part of me wants to accept him, but the vain part of me is wanting to be with a man who looks a certain way. Yet most of the men who are after me who are physically my spec does not really "get me".

I really don't know what to do...




My Dear accept his proposal, when you really fall in love with him, looks wont matter and how he looks will become your spec... Dont pass contentment looking for roses that wont last!
Good luck to you .

91 comments:

  1. You're just a cheap ho. You're fucking him secretly and collecting his money but you don't want your family and friends to know you sleep with such abi? Why did you lead him on in the first place if you never loved him. Ojukokoro

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Nooo, anonymous 15:04, please don't.
      Tonia

      Delete
    2. Bitter much, kilode.

      Delete
    3. Some day those muscles will flatten out ,those beard's will turn grey ,those breast will slack the face will wrinkle no juice in the pussy then you will face the truth

      Delete
  2. Stick with Stella advice. Good luck

    ReplyDelete
  3. Your wahala too muchπŸ˜‚

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. As in ehhh too much wahala
      She want Anthony Joshua's body with a touch of RMD inside one body

      Delete
    2. Hahahaha,🀣🀣 no mind her, she never see anything.

      Delete
    3. What if she is not a spec to her specπŸ₯΄

      Delete
    4. @mum sdk: it's very possible that she is not a spec to her spec. Meaning that wahala be like bicycle 🀣🀣🀣

      Delete
  4. Babe forget about looks, nobody is perfect.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Just like what I'm enjoying while reading this Chronicle. I went to the supermarket to buy kilishi and coke, coke is not cold but sprite is so i 'grudgingly' went for sprite and guess what? I realise kilishi tastes more better with coke and glad i made the choice even when it not what I originally wanted

    So apply this experience to your situation and know peace ✌

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yet you still mistakenly called sprite coke, could it be your heart still yearns for the very coke you longed for...

      Delete
    2. πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ @pretty Rosie

      Delete
    3. @Rosie the heart still wants wharrit wants mehn🀣

      Delete
  6. OP,

    Imagine having a fancy car. It’s sleek and flashy but it also leaks oil, breaks down on you one too many times and leaves you stranded. Then you got a boring alternative but it gets you from point A to B without hassle. It’s reliable and can actually be fancy if you repaint it and it will serve you well if you love it.

    That guy might not be a looker but he can be just as attractive as you present him to be. His influence to your complexity should count for something since it is rare. He may not be your dream man but he could be the man designed just for you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks for this Perxian.

      Poster, You can't have it all.

      Delete
    2. I love your car analogy. The only person who will still choose the flashy car is someone who is going nowhere in life. For someone who is busy, has a vision, going somewhere in life, they will choose the boring alternative.

      Delete
    3. A bottle of chilled coke for you dear

      Delete
  7. Forget Good looks and go for happiness. And also help package him naa. Everyone is fine na packaging most people no get.

    ReplyDelete
  8. My dear you better hold on to him, my husband wasn’t my type but when we got together we adjusted our lifestyle to mesh together, started going to the gym today, bought facial creams, have fun together. Sis you can always upgrade him to your standard.

    ReplyDelete
  9. E no pass say he short…lol, my sister please let him go if you are not sure of him because of stature. There is so much to look out for in a partner than physical. So I wish you the best of luck in your decision.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Or maybe fat ,with a small dick.

      Delete
  10. leave him, you will find someone that loves you, probably at 40 years

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You are wicked🀣🀣

      Delete
  11. Looks is your turn on, no need to punish someone's son by accepting him when you are not proud of who he is. If his look is not your spec please let him go than forcing yourself to be with a man you know is nit your spec.

    Keep on waiting for Mr. Perfect, you can go ahead and create your own Perfect physical spec.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Aunty you are looking for a spec, na your mate marry Ned Nwoko and Oshiomole,they never die o.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. And one don even born and the picking na carbon copy of the man πŸ˜ƒπŸ˜ƒπŸ˜ƒ see as wahala the wrapper

      Delete
  13. So you don't feel at home with other suitors just like this one, what then is the attraction; money?
    πŸ™„πŸ™„πŸ™„πŸ™„

    ReplyDelete
  14. where is the opinion of God who created you in making such a vital lifetime decision like marriage?
    Are you saved, have you sought Christ or is it when problems crop up that you do?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. What if she's a Buddhist?
      Abi na only Christians dey marry?

      Delete
    2. @16:55
      Why are you answering questions that isn't directed at you?
      Christ died for everybody including all you mentioned or intend to mention.

      Delete
    3. Not everyone is a christian. That's the point of that question.
      Apply critical reasoning rather than being so overtly religious without any iota of intelligence

      Delete
    4. @5:58
      Didn't Jesus tell his followers to "preach the gospel to every creature?" Creatures include cats and dogs if they can listen and understand.
      So any Christian preaching the gospel or inviting people to Christ is super intelligent.

      Delete
  15. truth is we all have an image of people we want to be with even before meeting them. but things don't always turn out the way we want them. sometimes, when the realities of life hits you, you just realize that there's difference between reality and fantasy. in your case poster, follow the sensible part of you that tells you to accept him. His good sides and the fact that you're comfortable with him will eventually make you over look the physical. you also know that good qualities outshines physical appearance in the long run. Also, commit your confusion to God and listen to that inner voice.

    ReplyDelete
  16. This here is the typical mistake a lot of people make. Instead going with substance, they are on the look out for contingencies. Tomorrow they'll cry foul.

    Once you find a good human that your both fit into each others dream, and your compatibilities are B score grade regardless of physical attributes, take them everyday and everytime.

    ReplyDelete
  17. Aww I am in your shoes as well but I once heard a marriage counsellor say that when you interview people who have been married for 20, 30, 50 years and ask them the secret of their longstanding marriage, you always hear things like: we are still together because my husband is very kind, compassionate, understanding. OR this marriage has worked this long cos my wife is very mature, intelligent, homely. NO ONE ever says, we are still together cos my husband is tall, handsome, a spec. NO ONE. While physical attraction is great, it is NEVER enough, never the koko, may someday fade. Pray for strength to be more drawn to soul and spirit over the body. And life is funny: most drop-dead handsome men always lack in being spouse material. And if you ever find one that has it all, he is most likely taken cos other girls want him too.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh I forgot to add. Your husband will also be the father of your children. If you ask a group of kids or even adults, why do you love your father? The general answer would be, because Daddy helps me with my homework, buys me this and that, protects me from bad people, corrects me when I'm wrong etc. No one ever loves their father because of his looks or height, NO. It is always because of attributes of kindness, love, being present, paying school fees etc There are so many deadbeat Dads who are tall, handsome and a spec, fighting daily with their babyMamas/ex-wives. But on fathers day you see lots of people proudly showing off their fathers who may look tired, worn, old/aging but who are deeply loved and appreciated, with long epistles sef, due to their sacrificial love and because they are great men.

      Delete
    2. @anon 18:55. I know of a case where a teenage boy was angry at his mother because of the man she chose, his father, and he turned out ugly. I do not know if he was teased about his looks or he just came to hate his looks off his own, but it was his mother he ended up blaming for it, for not choosing a better looking man to procreate with. The boy lamented his ugliness regularly and hated looking in the mirror.

      I also know a woman, family friends, who did not want to be seen with her mother in public as a child because she thought her mom was ugly. She is an adult today and I don't know how she feels about her mother now, but kids are weird at times.

      These topics are often no go areas in life so the true picture of how children view their parents' physical attributes are not really known. All I know are these two stories, but now I wonder how many children blame their parents for their perceived unattractiveness or view one or both parents as physically unattractive.

      Delete
    3. @10:02, well those cases are outliers. For every statement there'll always be outliers, it's not the norm.

      Delete
  18. If You don't love him enough to overlook his physical attributes then it's not real. Please let him go.

    ReplyDelete
  19. Go for him sis. I can never stop crying for the so called ugly guy that loved me to bits and pieces.

    ReplyDelete
  20. Sis go for him o!
    Chemistry is key!
    Forget looks and height o!
    Na rest of mind they give person long life o

    ReplyDelete
  21. Aunty..what are you waiting for? Please accept his proposal and forget about physical appearance.


    Wishing u success

    ReplyDelete
  22. Honestly eh, when you finally love this guy, you will realise he's the most handsome man in your world. But most importantly, the world who you think cares about the physical attributes of your husband, DON'T CARE AT ALL.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. True. People don't care at all. Those who care are really shallow. But people who wish the best for you and whom
      you should surround yourself with won't thnk less of your spouse cos of his looks.

      Delete
  23. Spec in this age and time??is he that short and ugly???
    It is Happiness over Spec...o unless he is too broke

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Mine is that short but not that ugly...i feel like I wrote this chronicle set.

      God help me too.

      Guy makes me so happy and treats me well, but his tribe and looks makes me want to let him go.

      Why is life like this???

      Delete
    2. Anon 18:52
      If only you know how many of us pray for just one man to love us and treat us well. We have met and dated all sorts from the fine to the 'not-so-fine, short, broke, fat etc. But none loved and treated us well. I have never been picky because I experienced bad relationships right from the first time so I learnt early but still no luck yet. I could write a book on my experiences, sometimes I believe I am cursed.
      I could write a lot here, but I am simply trying to tell you and the poster that the streets are wild! If you have a man that really loves you, aunty stick around, treat him right & see it as a blessing. But many will not listen sha. Some will even maltreat such men, cheat & take them for granted. You can do that so that those of us hoping & waiting would snag them up. Lol...
      The irony is, such men hardly appreciate the women who appreciate them. They go for those who are ashamed of them, like our poster here.
      The damn IRONY!

      Delete
  24. My boyfriend that am dating has a big Tommy but he is ok facially. He treats me right and respect me a lot. It is the content of a man that matters. In marriage, it is the content of a man that matters. Stop looking for IK ogbonna in Pastor E.A Adeboye's body. U either go for looks or characters. But for, I will go for a man's character any time any day. My boyfriend treats me like Queen Elizabeth. Looking for I.K Ogbonna in pastor Adeboye's body has made many ladies single till they enter menopause.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Big tummy no good oo. Tell him to lose some weight for his health sake o hmm

      Delete
    2. You mean looking for Adeboye in IK Ogbonna's body. Also loved your comment till last sentence. Let's normalize giving advice without instigating fear of singlehood or menopause in women. Same fear have driven some into terrible marriages too. πŸ™πŸΎ

      Delete
    3. 17:15
      Big tummy is someone's spec...mine!
      Not all ladies want their men to have chest as strong as a plank. Tufiakwa, I hate men with 6pacs, it irritates me.
      Would choose my man with his pot belly over and over again.

      Delete
    4. Kidjo ,are you for real! Big tummy is a big turn off for me. I generally don't do fat men.

      Delete
    5. That pit belly on men irritates me more than words. I fit give solid double decker punch when I see am make e for go inside.

      Delete
  25. Poster can we see his picture and number so that female BVs will help you confirm his look?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. EvilπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

      Delete
    2. 😁😁😁no u can't.
      Tonia

      Delete
  26. Wo,poster...you better not let that man go. I was in your shoes seven years ago and I decided to overlook spec and go for substance. I thank God everyday that I did.mt husband understand me perfectly and has been there for me through thick and thin. Seven years of ttc and no one day has he made me feel less of a woman. He gives me peace of mind and is ver-ready to make me happy. Leave spec oh...if God blesses you with spec and substance..it's all good. But in these your case...you better go with substance especially since you both have chemistry.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Are you sure he is not the one with issues? Has he gone for fertility tests and certified clean? Your own fertility tests, did they say you are the one with issues. Change hospital and go alone to another one if your husband was the one that picked the hospital you used

      Delete
    2. 19:30 you sabi!

      Delete
  27. Poster if “spec” is on of your deal breaker then don’t do it. If he’s really wayyy off from your spec, you’ll always have it at the back of your mind even if he treats your right. Do not frustrate that guy and let him jejely go if you can’t manage his physical attributes. You did not explain how he looks self. Is he really short?? I normally date men that are 6ft and up. My husband is 5’10. At first I said to myself, he’s not tall for my type of spec but tall enough, taller than me and he treats me well. We’re married today with a lovely kid. I honestly wouldn’t date a short man because attraction also goes a long way for me. You will hear men are visual, they like big ass and curves. Us women also like what we like and it makes us want our men more self. So choose your deal breakers. If your spec is wayyyy too off, it’ll continue to be on your mind. Heck reason why you wrote this chronicle. It’s obviously affecting you. Pray about it and choose wisely. The guy never propose so you’re still single as far as I know. Date others (no sex) and get to know others abeg. Goodluck.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Follow this advice and I pity your destiny

      Pray tell when he is choking you will love care and cash do you remember he is not your spec?

      Delete
    2. She might not be referring to his height. Maybe he is not facially fine.

      Delete
  28. Except you are looking for a trophy husband, then your primary focus need not be physical nor physique. What happens to those core attributes that comes with thoughtfulness and being decent? Marriage is not about the cosmesis, it's about mindsets, character and attitude.

    But I understand your reservation. Just that it doesn't serve the course of marriage in the true sense.

    ReplyDelete
  29. Poster accept him if he is not stingy and broke or hot tempered.

    ReplyDelete
  30. Pray and follow your heart. As for me o, I have no physical attributes spec, all I want is a good man with a good heart and a good character.

    ReplyDelete
  31. Similar situation. I was even thinking of sending in a chronicle. I've agreed to marry him but I just wonder if I'll ever be fully content. I'm getting cold feet. I'm more scared than excited and this is based just on physical appearance. I don't feel proud to show him off. I'm always concerned of how pictures will look. just wonder if I'll ever get over it. I need someone someone slap me to reality. He is amazing but spec won't allow me have peace. One partner for the rest of my life, would I ever be content with this one. Help!!!
    How did you feel when you were getting married. Is anyone ever 100% sure

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. If how he will look in pictures is your problem, rub pancake and lipstick for him na.

      Delete
    2. Free that man and let him go be with who wants him. A person that would be proud to show him off.

      As for you, go out there and get your spec.

      Delete
    3. Na wa.
      People are feeling butterflies, yours is runny tummy. Biko, call it off if you are not feeling him.

      Delete
    4. I wish you all the best. If you do decide to follow through with the marriage, just never throw it in his face or put him down. If you have accepted him be the best wife you are able be to him. Nobody can help how they look. But I completely get your feeling, you feel as though you are cheating yourself out of something, settling for less and lying to yourself and everyone around you. Physical attraction is important because that is where sexual attraction and desire also stem from. And you will have to sleep with him for the rest of your life and see his nakedness daily. Life sometimes is something else. But good character will always stand the test of time, while all good looks will eventually fade. Life humbles us all through old age. All slay queens and slay kings will one day just be a forgotten memory. Choose life!

      Delete
  32. Sometimes , physical attributes matter o. In my case ,I don't find tall overly slim guys attractive. Naaaa. I can't deal.

    ReplyDelete
  33. He treats you right… great. One day you will wake up and won’t stand him touching you. The shit you put up with in a relationship gets magnified when you are married and there will be no exit. If you can live with that and because he treats you right…. Hopefully you won’t be that depressed.

    ReplyDelete
  34. Madam leave the man. My wife had issues being out with me because of age difference. It didn't sit well with me, still don't.

    Would you be able to cope?

    ReplyDelete
  35. Unless you are over 35 and want to get some babies before you become menopausal, DO NOT ACCEPT HIS PROPOSAL. If you do, you are going to cheat on him. He too will upgrade from you once you have given him the confidence that he can get a woman like you. A woman who is out of his league.

    Relationships are not meant to be endured.

    ReplyDelete
  36. I do not think you are shallow for wanting to find your mate physically attractive. This is so tricky because this man has shown you heaven and yet still when you look upon him you do not feel the magic. I have dated guys I was not physically attracted to and I felt like I was cheating myself and lying to myself, I did not feel authentic so I promised myself never to do it again, although there was no soul connection involved like in your case. There is no shame in wanting to find your spouse physically attractive.

    So your dilemma is real, and I do not know if this gentleman is highly unattractive, or just not the type of man you usually go for. If it is a situation where you may be mocked by others for choosing him, please be strong. A cousin of mine got married to a man who ticked all her boxes, but she also wanted him to be 'cute', well they have been married now for twenty years and pretty much look like it will be death do them part for their union. So it can work out. On the flip side, I have heard ppl made the same statement like you and they just were worried how the children would look so they decided to end it, very wonderful men too, but their phenotype was not appealing, and to them not for child making.

    Only you can decide what you are willing to sacrifice to have love. Always remember that life comes with no guarantees, you can married someone who physically hit all your spots, get married to them and they become disabled, maimed or disfigured down the road. Beauty can fade drastically, some guys who I thought were so cute in secondary school have aged horribly and are so unattractive to me today. Also, something life changing could happen to you too down the road, would you want someone whose loyalty and love you are not sure of. I am not trying to get you to go in any particular direction, just reminding you to look at all angles and be cognizant of life's many journeys and possibilities that we can never see. Choose wisely.

    ReplyDelete
  37. What some of you do not understand is the look thing is just a mere perception you hold up in your head. Okay he is not your spec, We agreed. Is wizkid height your spec? Noo, is fiaboy dml look your spec? but will you date or marry them and even show them off? Yes.. Ask yourself why? Because you understand there Millions that are ready to have them. Now imagine your guy youre writing about is popular, would you even send this chronicles?

    ReplyDelete
  38. The lady above said it all…I know you’ve had an idea of what your husband will look like but you have to let all that go…in the grand scheme of things it’s insignificant. Spec change as we grow..I mean I used to like skinny jeans boys in school, but now I have a thing for bald heads …lol..Especially with you saying how complicated you are as a person to understand, getting someone that understands you is sooo important, trust me. And even if he’s not your spec there’s still sexual tension! When you fall in love with him…you’ll start appreciating he’s uniqueness a bit more. I’ve been in relationships were I wasn’t understood and it was hell…always having the need to explain yourself..so tiring. Please give this one a chance

    ReplyDelete
  39. Una no solve this wahala well. the girl says no one get her except this guy. hv u thought about that this guy may be accepting or doing everything to her taste because he knows he doesnt stand a chance and would change when he gets what he wants. U have suitors but none worship you because that may be what you want and this is the only type of guy that can do what u really want. in conclusion i believe the problem may likely be you

    ReplyDelete
  40. My thought exactly.


    I think the guy is taking all her excesses and complexities just to win her over. After marriage his true character will surface and it will be too late for her to run.
    He knows if he doesn't bend to her whims she would not hesitate to move on so he us making himself to be all she wants. I can tell the lady is very beautiful and boosts his ego so he acts humble for now not to make her slip from his fingers. Who does not know that most people put their best foot forward during the dating just to get the object of their desire?

    Poster if you want the kind of men you feel you deserve then work on your complexities. I think most times we have this belief that if anyone loves us then they must take us as we are without bothering to ask ourselves if the table were turned would we take them as they are? Nobody will take you as you are if personality is a difficult one. That is a wrong misconception. I personally feel the guys that left were true to themselves unlike the one you are seeing now.

    Instead of expecting people to just fall over for you why don't you self-reflect? you can actually get the kind of man you like but you need to start be intentional. Would you marry you? Be the best version of yourself and watch how you would not need to settle. I don't know what your complex nature is because you did not give a clear example or instances but If you did not fit into his good books of what his woman should look like trust me he would not even as much as give you a glance in the first place. He is not settling so why should you. I think he is just toleratinh you and your complex nature because he knows he does not make the cut.

    If those men you like who have the kind of looks you want finds you too complex for a human being then this one might be putting on an act.

    I was once in your shoes.
    I felt the guy understood me better than the fine guys, he never got angry always calm, and all. Till one day after gisting on the phone I told him to send me his pix that I want to have his picture on my phone. he was hesitant for a while but later sent it. When he did I saw a very angry look being. I was shocked this was someone who was all smiles on the other end of the phone just a few seconds ago you would not have imagined he was seething and angry at me over what we just discussed. At that point I knew he was pretending to marry me first then afterwards he would show his true colour. My friends even told me he might be acting all along to get me where he wants me I did not believe till that singular act. Laughing in my face while squeezing face after he has dropped the phone and fuming with anger.

    Unpopular opinion, Dont settle. The guy is not settling for you. If you were not his spec he would not acknowledge your existence.

    Look at it this way, if you were the one that came here and said you are dating a guy and you are not his spec and you are about to be married but he likes slim women and you are chubby, he also dark skinned women and you are light skinned and you ask if you should go ahead, what do you think the majority opinion will be? They will tell you lot to go ahead because you are not his spec but now that man is not your spec they are guilt-tripping you.

    You can get an handsome man with good character don't let anyone deceive you. Up till today I am forever grateful to God I ran away from my ex.

    Your guy is too perfect, hope he is not hiding his flaws to trap you? Imagine after marriage your we him for who he really is? at least if you marry your spec and he fumbles you won't feel too much hurt after all you made your choice compared to when you settle for less than what you want and he later fumbles you would feel a very deep regret. You lost both ways.

    ReplyDelete

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