Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative

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Tuesday, January 11, 2022

Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative

Hmmmm......








STAND ALONE NARRATIVE..
REACTIONS TO ALLEGED CHEATING




Is this how families are torn apart? What have i done wrong? Have my best behaviours not been good enough?

 The pain i am going through is unimaginable.

 I found out two days ago that my husband of over 13year has started cheating, he has never cheated cos I know him, he has always been the BEST IN EVERYTHING.

 He couldn't even hide it well and he has never cheated and that I can vouch for him. This pain is three much, I can't even coordinate myself. I have been behaving like a psycho and he is very worried.

 I have been planning on what to do, unfaithfulness is my breaking point and he knows. Yes I can leave him but I can't even think of what to do. Just woke up from the noise of his jumping around with the children wearing my glasses and his in out bedroom. 

As i opened my eyes they all clapped and he said your royal majesty anything for your boys?. 

I couldn't talk, water started flowing again from my eyes. I Am in the toilet typing this as i can't face them and he has been knocking on the door. I Am so weak from pain as my world is about to crash on me.


 I really want to think and face the situation but i am so weak right now. I couldn't join in prayer as only water comes out of my eyes, i am literally dumb with pain.

 I need to face him but not with this water all over my face as I don't want to appear weak. I don't think i can stay with him as i am not one who doesn't give her best in things. I don't know how to play dirty, funny enough the 2 girls know he is married. 


They've been cheering him to come and have more cookies. Water has started flowing, how do people cope by cheating . Sorry for my long epistle ,i am just broken.

What do I do to stop these tears!....





* What is all this drama because your husband allegedly cheated? what if he did not and you misread things? Even if he did at least let him know so that you will busy him with having a guilty conscience and begging you!

Discuss with him before taking any decision please!!!

99 comments:

  1. This one pass me oh πŸ™†, abeg over to the married people

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Poster, whatever decision you decide to take, don't kill him so your kids don't suffer. And why are you feeling the pains alone? Confront him and get it done and dusted.

      Delete
    2. Abeg aunty stella stop making her pain seem invalid, people are different, some may be bold others may be weak.

      Poster, whatever you do calm down and it's best you address it heads on, don't wait for too much time to pass.

      If you can forgive and stay fine, but whatever you do, do not blame yourself

      Delete
    3. If you are marrying a Nigerian man, please don't have any expectations.
      If you are lucky they may take care of the family but other than that just very promiscuous men with the self control of dogs on the street and the emotional intelligence of toddlers.

      Delete
    4. Poster, please look after yourself. Confront him with facts and don't ever blame yourself or question yourself for being good. He betrayed you mot the other way round.
      I have been where you are now and thought I couldn't cope. But I'm fine now.
      I gave him list of conditions to rebuild the trust. He bought me a new SUV car as sorry gift
      Did he cheat again? Yes he did and it was still painful.
      But at this point, I had resolved to look after myself more. I went on a Shopping spree and do anything that will bring smiles to my face not his.
      I need to protect my heart and sanity at this point.
      Please be strong, the Lord will strengthen you as he has strengthened me.

      Delete
    5. 18:45 don't let me laugh abeg, you seriously think men of other nationalities do not cheat? Hahahaha

      Delete
    6. Anon 18.45πŸ‘πŸΏπŸ‘πŸΏπŸ‘πŸΏπŸ‘πŸΏπŸ‘πŸΏπŸ‘πŸΏ you have said it all. If you are marrying a nigerian man go into it with your eyes open. Never carry them on your head!. Know that anything can happen!.

      Sorry poster you will get through this. You have to harden your heart. I hope he is rich at least😐

      Delete
  2. When it comes to cheating, it's just a matter of time. You'd be fine, you trusted him as if he was Jesus christ.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. My dear, no be small thing ooo.

      Delete
  3. Madam, please be easy in yourself. You said he hasn’t cheated before and you can vouch for him. What went wrong?
    Did he make new friends?
    Have you guys been having issues?
    If you have a sibling you can drop your kids with for like a day, do so and create time for you and your hubby to talk things through.
    Ask him what went wrong. Ask him what he wants and also, ask him what he would do if you cheated on him.
    Observe his countenance/body language, you’ll get answers.
    In all, give it another chance.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This right here, madam. Stay calm, read to understand. Very well, SluttyChic.

      Good luck.

      Delete
    2. Slutty did not read the chro. wellooooh

      Delete
  4. Put yourself together and tell him what you found out,try and forgive him if he begs you . It's well .

    ReplyDelete
  5. Your situation is understandable, 1, because the trust has been broken and 2, because you don't know how to handle such a situation. I think its best you let him know what you know. Give him room to explain himself, see his reaction and his willingness to change. Dont be too quick to leave him, you can separate from him if you are not convinced but give it much tot and let forgiveness be your first priority for the sake of your children. Good luck ma'am.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Nawa
    Madam pull yourself together before you hurt yourself.

    Your husband is the one that cheated
    You're the one that is restless.
    Be strong for yourself and your kids.
    Forgive him if he is remorseful but he will still cheat again..

    You know what. just do what is good for you.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Madam like stella said, you need to calm down confront your husband and hear his own part of the story too, huh!! You cannot just read a message from his phone and concluded that he is cheating on you. Pls calm down ma, all this cry cry will not help you.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Replies
    1. More reason why she shouldn't fret. He's probably doing it for the s*x with no strings attached.
      It's wrong of him tho

      Delete
  9. Get your facts correct and talk to your husband. Do not be emotional wreck where the person causing it is still unaware.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Oh dear calm down,I have been married 10yrs and blessed with 4 children .Last year in the month of May I saw a message in my husband's phone that says,how I wish I met you before you were married"the following day I saw 'am hungry"then I carried the phone chatted like it's my husband and asked her to remind me when I asked her out or when we started dating,she said three weeks ago.I confronted him and he couldn't give me a good answer,I raised fire and brimstone,insulted him 3days straight and on the third day,I asked the girl if she doesn't know he was married,she didn't answer.I told her that at age 27 she should be praying to build a home not to destroy the one I am already building,I Sha ended with shameless slut😁.I prayed and told God to help me as I have tried.Toh I don't know how God does his things o, but the girl was dismissed from the work were they met,his contract wasn't renewed for over 3 months,as in he saw difficulty in whatever he was doing.He later apologized ,we talked deeply,a week after he was recalled, till today he didn't admit he had a relationship with her.I was also of the opinion that I can't forgive,I felt the same way you were feeling but that moment I confronted him ahhh I got my peace.poster confront him crying won't help.Btw that was the 1st I saw him close to a girl,he is a man that knows God's word well.He has changed actually even on the areas that o was complaining before.God will help you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. anon 15:18
      Nawoooh, it's well with ur family especially u.
      Some men can drive one crazyeeeh

      Delete
  11. I read and I understand she is heartbroken but I don't quite understand the details.

    Please send s rejoinder when you are able to have a little grip of yourself. But meanwhile, in spite of your state of mind now, try a helicopter position in analysing the true picture. Dont let this excessive emotion becloud you decision and actions.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Awww come and receive sugar hugs...I am sorry about how you feel...Please if you keep crying and not say anything you will become a wreck...Crying when you are hurt is not a sign of weakness but instead healthy...First of all, go make those cookies and all and now he is in a happy mood and bubbly...Please wipe your tears, sit him down and ask him scenario questions before you move to direct questions...Calm down and don't ask or discuss in a place of anger but calmness and smile (it is not easy but try) From his responses, you will know what to do....

    I will not invalidate how you feel because I can't stand cheating but if he did and you see genuine and sincere repentance; please accept him with open arms and both of you can walk through the path of forgiveness, reconciliation and healing...

    Above all PRAY, ask God to give you the strength, wisdom to forgive your husband and also season your words with SALT....All the best...

    P.S Please men and ladies cheating can never make you an Alpha Male or an Amazon but it exposes a character flaw - long throat and weakness on your part...You must discipline yourself that is why you are HUMAN and not an ANIMAL

    ReplyDelete
  13. Please calm down and take it easy, don't get high blood pressure because your husband cheated, you will just die for nothing. Just slow down and think if through.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Divorce him, your new husband wont cheat on you

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Why evils😁😁. It's a painful experience.. She really had 100% assurance on a human.. Poster biko read all the comments well and apply the ones your can muster. Good luck.



      Lovelace

      Delete
    2. Why evils😁😁. It's a painful experience.. She really had 100% assurance on a human.. Poster biko read all the comments well and apply the ones your can muster. Good luck.



      Lovelace

      Delete
    3. This is funny but not funny. However, the truth is, the earlier the Society understands that not every woman have the mental strength to tolerate a cheating husband the better.

      I remember a story here of a woman who found out her husband cheated and in anger shoved him that he hit his head on the bathroom floor.

      Don't we read stories of women who cut off their man's private on social media, some who go to bad length to poison the man because of what some would call "mere cheating"?

      Some even do revenge cheating. A self-sabotaging act just to cope with the pain and hurt they feel.

      Some even bid their time to leave the man in old age after the children are grown which shows they had deep-seethed hatred all along but were sly enough to bid their time.

      Not saying that she is like that but what I am saying is let's be careful not to guilt-trip with fear-riddled messages laced with subtle mockery.

      I am sure if some of those women who hurt their husbands had come on here to complain of how their men cheated comments like that of anon 15:53 would have sufficed.
      Hypocritically, the same Society will turn around and say but she should have left him alone when she knew she couldn't cope why kill him?

      If any woman comes forth and say she can't stand her cheating spouse, Please take her words for it and stop trying to invalidate her feeling. I am someone who would never make light her feelings or try to make her feel stupid.

      Everyone should Tolerate what they can and let go of what they can't. Poster, You wear the shoes so you decide.

      Whether we like it or not there are women who would never hesitate to divorce a cheating partner same way there are men who would never hesitate to take back their cheating wives. Weird right? but both categories exists whether we admit it or not.

      If a woman says she can't tolerate cheating the Society should let her be. People are different.

      Delete
    4. Don't down play someone's pain. It is better to be silent on such matters.

      Dear poster, just turn to God and speak to your husband. You need to do so ASAP. A broken trust is a deep wound...but it will eventually heal.

      Delete
    5. Don’t be sarcastic, some of us raised by men with high moral standard don’t easily cope with adultery. My friend’s father was a cheat, she married with no atom of love, how much more trust. She no send her husband.
      The poster needs our love and comfort.

      Delete
    6. Well said 19.55. This applies to my mum. She was raised by a strict disciplinary catholic man. Her dad was too strict but a very godly man. She could never get over my dads cheating.

      Delete
  15. I am so sorry, Sweets. Wish I can give you a hugπŸ€—πŸ€—πŸ€—.
    Everyone deserves a happy marriage built on True love and transparency where there is enough team spirit to make it work.

    Emphasis on TRUE LOVE because a
    Man who truly loves his wife would never cheat on her. Someone would come here and argue from a worldly perspective but please forget the wordly definition of love people carelessly throw around where they say, "A man can love you and still cheat on you". That is a lie from the pit of hell.

    Before you argue with this, kindly Pick up your Bible and see the only true Definition of love if you don't know what love means. Anything outside of God's definition of love is mere passion, infatuation, lust, and what have you! An imitation of Love. Love
    God embodies love and we are his bride and he is our husband(isaiah 54:5). If you want to know how best A husband is supposed to treat you as his beloved wife look at the example Christ laid for us. Christ commanded Men love your wives as Christ loves the Church and was ready to lay his life down for her". You are expected to love your wife more than yourself and put her first. When you put your selfish lustful desires before her feelings you do otherwise.

    Sadly, Most married men do not obey that command because they do not even have the diving knowledge to grasp what that phrase means Instead you see them focusing on submission like they have already removed the log of wood in their own eyes before trying to remove the speck in a woman's eyes. Someone may come and tell you he loves you but any man who cheats does not love his wife he probably just likes her.

    I wrote all that up there because Some people may come here to guilt trip you for feeling the way you citing different instances of men who cheat like you have no right to expect loyalty from a man who took you to the Altar and made vows. I just want you to know your feelings are valid but please don't hurt yourself in the process.

    He is cheating with two women at a time not even one woman and you still say this is his first time? I am still trying to wrap my head around that. He seems like a Pro in the game to me.

    I honestly do not hold briefs for people who cheat because I feel they just cover their tracks better and don't change except they encounter a deadly situation that shakes their life to the core so for that reason I won't say, go for counselling, talk to him and all those things you might read here.


    Still I would advise you clear your head and even if you want a Divorce which is justified because Cheating is a ground for divorce even in the Bible. Take your time and do not do anything in a haste or fit of the moment. Take your time and plan well before you make any move. So you won't be at the losing end.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yea right! Please do not listen to this, this is just some goody too shoes wannabe local relationship expert! That is why this sentence is wrongly typed…. Dust yourself, ask questions and don’t ever go to that phone again!! You will be fine. Remember, no one is perfect and even God knows that! Don’t worry, everything would be fine!!

      Delete
    2. Anon 22:54,what Anon 15:34 wrote is actually wisdom...You are the one that should be ignored

      Delete
    3. Yea, don't ever go near that phone again, Poster. It is an order. A statement borne of out cowardice Which indirectly translates to = Poster continue living in denial, delude yourself and live in LaLa land. You see anon, 22:54 Your sentence was wrongly typed one. Next time be bold to speak in clearer terms.

      Explicitly telling her to stay away from her husband's phone and not that of a stranger's while promising everything will be fine at the same time? humour me please!
      Stay away from her husband's phone, why? You might as well tell her to stay away from her husband's other gadgets. Stay away from his car, stay away from his laptop, stay away from his....Rules and regulations even inside marriage. Like we haven't seen what happens to women who stayed away.
      Scroll down and see one of such examples. Another one, A medical doctor who stayed away once sent a chronicle of how her husband's family was planning to get him a second wife. I am sure you read it too.

      That aside, I don't know why people abuse the phrase 'no one is perfect' a phrase that when it was coined was making no excuse for cheating. It talks about an individual's character flaws and Cheating is a truckload of many combined character flaws.

      Dishonesty
      carelessness
      secrecy
      selfishness
      lack of self-control
      lust
      Greed
      to mention a few.
      All these and more in one person.

      I am the anon 16:56 right above you and I reiterate that not every person has the capacity to stay with a cheat. I would never cajole a woman to stay in a marriage where she claims cheating is her deal-breaker.

      Delete
    4. Anon 22:24. Please go to the house of the first anon (15:35), and buy yourself something called wisdom. You need it in drums and she seems to have a lot of it.
      Pls add a few drops of intelligence too. (For your own good o).

      Delete
  16. The problem is women like you who trusted their horsebands 100% finds it hard to believe they cheat and finds it hard to forgive. The moment you tell yourself never to trust 100% and give all your trust to God Almighty, the happier you will be.

    Just find a way and talk to him face to face and let him tell you why he did it. You are free to cry out, threatens ooo but he has to tell you why?

    Don't get BP ooo or you allow your health fails you, you have given him the opportunity to cheat more.

    Only God Almighty you should trust more.

    Ekpele ooo my mantra is it is well

    ReplyDelete
  17. Sweetie, I know you are angry and hurt but your marriage can survive this as long as he is committed to mending the damage he caused because of his infidelity and rebuild the love and trust you both have for each other.

    Go ahead and confront him. it will take time to get back to where y’all once were but y’all can learn to love again. πŸ’›

    ReplyDelete
  18. One of the many dangers of snooping

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I wish I snooped before one girl got pregnant for my husband. Trust no one.

      Delete
    2. Snooping has no danger. The only danger it has is living in denial until it is too late for the man or woman to take cover

      Delete
    3. Correction @Anon 16:46, your husband impregnated one girl and not one girl got pregnant for your husband. Did she rape him or stole his sperm from his discarded condom? Mtscheeeeewwwww

      Delete
    4. Anon 17:28 ..you is a killer lol hehehe

      Delete
    5. Anon 17.28, na u be the preg woman? Na wa.

      Poster try gather few info and give it to him as a gift even add a note and a pack of condom for him. Cry if u want to and after it console yourself n wipe your tears. Don't give up..

      Delete
  19. My dear calm down ok it's always like this you will forgive him it's just a matter of time.

    ReplyDelete
  20. Awww. I wish I could give you a big hug. You will be fine . Just calm down and have a talk with him. Marriages are full of ups and down and he is human , just as you are. Nobody even you is devoid of sin. Talk to him and don't make a decision in a haste. Remember your sanity comes first, if u develop hypertension or even die, your kids will suffer. So calm down, breath deep and remember your happiness is in your hands and not tied to a man. Be safe

    ReplyDelete
  21. Poster pls clam down....my advice to married and unmarried women out there.have this in mind,this cheating of the thing did not Start now,even in the Bible,the man after God's heart "David" cheated,we should learn how to control our emotions when such cases arise, when you troubl yourself eventually breakdown,that man your husband will go after other women...just be happy take care of yourself and children... Men are men

    ReplyDelete
  22. Wipe your tears off. Use this anger positively, confront him. Hear his side of the story. Don't make yourself miserable while the person you are angry at does not know what he did wrong. His response will determine your next action. Adultery is a deal breaker for some people but please hear him out.
    Receive all the energy you need to wither the storm.

    ReplyDelete
  23. Poster pls clam down....my advice to married and unmarried women out there.have this in mind,this cheating of the thing did not Start now,even in the Bible,the man after God's heart "David" cheated,we should learn how to control our emotions when such cases arise, when you troubl yourself eventually breakdown,that man your husband will go after other women...just be happy take care of yourself and children... Men are men

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Men are men? you mean they are horny dogs in heat without self-control? Please stop generalising some men don't like it. Not everyone is doing it Please.

      Delete
  24. I am so sorry for what you are going through.
    Pls confront him already, if you must cry through it, so be it.

    If he thinks a heartbroken woman crying is weak, then he even has a bigger problem

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Seconded
      Poster, confront him and stop dying in silence.
      The sooner the confrontation, the sooner your healing.

      Delete
  25. It's painful and you feel very betrayed but please forgive him,I see hssh making efforts,you can take out time to heal and forgive,I don't support cheating but when a partner makes earnest efforts to reconcile,please reconsider,we all are sinners but don't let it affect you,it will be fine eventually,wish you all the best.

    ReplyDelete
  26. The man Even loves her so better calm down ordinary cheating,it can hurt Sha but confront him for your peace of mind and if not lock up.shay you wan divorce am ni? Momma calmzy jurh

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ordinary cheating u say?
      How do people mostly contact hiv and other stds again?

      Delete
    2. Through "ordinary cheating" @Paprika

      Delete
    3. I can’t believe some of you are saying ordinarily cheating. Maybe because you’re also a cheater. Cheating breaks trust in a relationship whether you agree or not. It brings resentment and negative emotions even after you’ve discussed the issue. You’ll never see that person the same anymore and it’s a real sad situation. And cheating is a deal breaker for some of us because we know we’re not like that.

      Delete
    4. Anon and paprika have woundjur me o lol

      Delete
  27. Young lady crying is not a sign of weakness. You probably snooped because you wanted to know if he is cheating, now you know that he cheated and he is likely to continue. There are always challenges regardless of how we try to avoid them, You need to talk to your husband even if you Γ§ry all through the talk. If he didn't cheat for over 12 years and suddenly started cheating , there is something definitely going wrong in your home. A man that took the pains to discipline himself for over 12 years and dedicated himself to you in a society where men mostly allow their penis think for them, you must make effort to know what changed

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Only a fool will believe he hasn't cheated for 12 years.
      Aunty you just haven't caught him thats all.
      First thing ,get protection before he gifts you HIV AIDS.
      Secondly stop crying, cheating is the norm with Nigerian men not the exception.
      Build yourself up to the extent that your happiness does not lie in any human being, least of all some randy homo sapien who cannot honour his vows.

      Delete
    2. 18:49, before you start spitting out venom, you should realize that it is the poster herself said the husband hasn't cheated for 12 years. You are allowed to have your doubts, but don't make conclusions based on your doubts rather on the information posted.

      Delete
    3. Of course it's possible for a man not to cheat at all throughout his marriage.

      Where do you people get this sick mindset toriolorun?!

      Delete
    4. Any cheating story "Nigerian men" SMH. ...

      Delete
    5. Some of the women who visit this blog have terribly warped mindsets,which is why they keep attracting those things into their lives..The mind is powerful people....

      Delete
    6. 00:39 πŸ‘ŒπŸ‘Œ

      Delete
  28. Poster cheating is wrong, but planning to run because of that sounds some how, confront him.

    ReplyDelete
  29. My Dear Poster I 100% understand You.
    Been in Such.
    Mine was Evn 18years,I couldn't eat for 3 days,till date I still need Alcohol 2 sleep.
    Truth is Your Marriage might not remain the Same.
    You wipl Continously read meaning to All his Actions, he says A and You wonder if its the same A he told the other Woman.
    I Handled mine by Gping 2 Church,Shopping,I Bought Wigs,Clothes over 1million Naira .
    I changed my Clothes, Went into Skincare,
    We evn moved Location Sef.
    Presently I live each day at a Time.
    Crazy Hehnnnmn.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. My dear, start to wean yourself off alcohol. Just tell yourself you live for your children and God. The Bible already told us not to put our trust in man.

      Delete
    2. This is what happens when one rely too much on a man. Also speaking for myself. I’ll never ever put my trust in a husband again.

      Delete
  30. E-hug πŸ€—πŸ€—πŸ€— dear poster
    It's well

    ReplyDelete
  31. E-hug πŸ€—πŸ€—πŸ€— dear poster
    It's well

    ReplyDelete
  32. This's very sad. But in all love yourself more

    ReplyDelete
  33. Why confront him?
    He won't stop or change. He will just cover his tracks, lie or at some point, he will start doing it to your face.

    You either stay or leave but he will never stop.

    Leaving can jolt him if he knows he is about to lose his family but do you have that mind? Crying a billion years won't stop him.

    You need to differentiate between a great father and a subpar husband. Some men are great fathers but not a faithful husband. You either develop HBP or not. No amount of shopping can stop the pain. No amount of new clothes can stop it.

    KING XOXO MYSTERY

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Xoxo, not everyone is a hardened cheat, some have conscience, and change when they observe the pain their actions have caused.

      Delete
    2. Well crying will help her feel better. It’s good to cry it out. It’s also a way of healing a broken heart. And she should definitely confront him. Why won’t she confront him? It’s up to him to change! And I really hope he does. Truth is, her might might never be the same again. The trust is broken 😞

      Delete
    3. I messed up and changed biko.. He can change if he truly loves her. Madam confront him ..yes he can change.. he might be carried away.. pls confront him!!

      Delete
    4. Xoxo mystery,your comment was terribly insensitive...just look at the confident way you are telling her that he won't stop.Do you even know them personally?!Kindly stop projecting your own issues unto her!

      Delete
  34. Madam poster,take am easy ooo

    What if you think he is cheating and he is actually not... some people catch cruise by talking dirty you know?

    Let me share a short story with you.

    I have a colleague/friend. We have been close friends even before he met d lady he married. The way we talk dirty is beyond ordinary. And we were never ashamed to talk dirty in front of other colleagues, while they also contribute to the cruise.

    Sometimes we may be chatting about work and he will just switch to the dirty talks and I'll play along. He may tell me that he wants to eat my cookies and I'll tell him that if them born am well he should quickly go and book a room in the hotel and he will tell me he has booked it I should start coming, then we may end the discussion with stuffs like 'you are not man enough, them no born you well' e.t.c. guess what, all our talks were just pure cruise and nothing more. Infact the guy has never seen my underwear before.

    Then one day we spoke on phone (I can't remember who called who) and then after talking about the reason for the call, we started our cruise talk again, all playfully talking about sex escapades that never existed. Unknown to me, my friend and his wife were in the habit of putting their phones on speaker when they are together. And to my surprise, the wife heard everything we discussed because when I asked him to greet his wife for me, he just told me that she is listening to my greeting, that she has been listening to us since the call started.

    I was so dazed that I had to end the call immediately. It was there and then that it occured to me that the cruise is not a good thing, because the wife may be reading our chats and although she trusts her husband a lot, she may have a reason to doubt us one day, if we continued the cruise. I gave myself brain that day and vowed that I would not continue such ctuise with him again, because I respect his wife so much for her level of maturity.

    Now Poster, I am not making excuses for your husband ooo, but I am saying that you should critically vet the info that you have before jumping into conclusion ooo...
    Mental health matters ooo

    A o ni ya were ninu odun titun ooo

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anon 20:20, I really commend you for stopping those cruise dirty talk. It shows you respect yourself as well. More so you respect your friend’s marriage. Thank you.

      Delete
  35. Some men shaa
    What does other women has that their wife doesn't have
    It is well
    Madam poster I think you should start dressing well, smell nice, look all good 100%. Men are mostly moved by what they see
    Do that which you feel you've withdrawn from that he loves and above pray for him. Yes! You heard me, pray for your and keep praying for him

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I guess you are not married. My uncle’s wife is a fashionable beauty queen, with an enviable career, yet, he cheats with dirty girls. Men are just hunters, who cheat because there is little or no consequences for their action.

      Delete
    2. This is why they should communicate if she’s not taking care of herself. Truth is, if you have kids and and work, it’s sometimes difficult maintaining that all the time. Unless you have a good house help/nanny. Plus it shouldn’t be outward appearance all the time. A good character also comes a long way. And who says poster does not take care of herself?🀷🏽‍♀️ At the end of the day, a faithful man will always be a faithful man. If he has the fear of God, he won’t cheat! This our flesh ehn hmmm lord help us, both men and women.

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  36. Madam, I am so sorry for the hurt. But give yourself no more than a week max to cry. Now for my practical advice. Go and check yourself out for STIs. For good measure drag your husband to the clinic too. Then start planning. I mean financial planning o. A man that has two side chicks is wasting family money and will not hesitate to acquire more side chicks. Even if you sit him down and have a heart to heart and he promises to change, it rarely happens. That's because he has tasted strange women, has gotten away with it with no consequences. If you choose to remain in the marriage, start saving and na condoms all the way. Most importantly, make sure you do not get pregnant again.

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    Replies
    1. Gbam. Good points here. Financial planning is very crucial. Start saving as much as you can no you don’t need to let him know. He’s invited strange women into your marriage. Who knows what the hell they have ehn? Some carry bad luck or familiar spirit. He really messed up honestly and I feel your pain. Only God can change a man or if he decides to change on his own. Ps: meet with a marriage counselor please to work out your issues. Things might not be the same anymore as that trust is broken. It’ll take time and please never put all your emotions and complete trust in a man that’s flesh and blood just like you. Stay strong and wishing you all the best. πŸ’•

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  37. 1
    But what kind of woman trusts a Nigerian husband to this extent? In this age and time? A good man, full bodied, probably handsome, doing well, has his own money too. C'mon, poster, what age are you living in?

    See even if he's not the promiscuous type, the pressure out there is real. They will chase him if he doesn't chase them. And there's a high chance that 99.9% of his friends are doing it. The pressure is real poster. Don't be too hard on him or yourself please. Cheating is no longer such a big deal. Men are wired like that.

    There's this saying that "leaving a man cos of cheating is like leaving a place because it rains...

    I'm so sorry and I can imagine your pain but honestly darling, it's not that serious. I'm not patting him on the back but honestly, it could have been worse? What if these two people were male? You need to know how many bisexual men are in Nigeria right now. Some even to the knowledge of their wives? God forbid and it would never be your portion IJN, do you know some men sleep with their children? Could've been your sister too.

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    Replies
    1. It's not that serious? Really??

      Don't let me waste valuable time reading the remaining 2-5.

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    2. 11:21, I didn’t even bother. He’s messed up in the head

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  38. 2
    Now don't get me wrong. I'm not downplaying the issue but "airin jina, la o ri abuke okere". "Ao de riru eleyi ri, a fin deru ba oloro ni". Nothing new under the Sun my love. My dad would say if it doesn't happen or exist, it wouldn't be in the dictionary. Cheating is a word and it exists.

    Once again I'm so sorry for your pain dear. But you need to first accept the fact that what he did is just human. Na cheat he cheat,he no kill person na. My dear, even some pastors fall once in a while. It doesn't even make them an outcast in God's sight. They know how to appease God and secure His Grace back. If God forgives, who are we?

    Again, I always tell people that cheating is not actually what hurts me personally but the betrayal. Having sex with someone else, doesn't exactly hurt me. If cheating meant a randy man having sex with available pussy(with adequate precaution and no emotions involved), big deal! We are not oyinbo. Besides, even Beyonce forgave Jay-z. I think men are inherently wired to be promiscuous. I don't believe the school of thought that preaches what women must do to keep a man faithful to them. I think it's a farce. From experience, except dumb and broke ones, men who keep one or two girlfriends make better husbands sef. It keeps them sane honestly. There's too much pressure everywhere. And this gender are not wired as rugged and multitasking as we are. They can only focus on one or two things at a time. Too many things to handle at a time drives them crazy and malfunctional.

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  39. 3
    Now back to my point, I want you to separate the actual act of cheating from the devilish behavior 'betrayal'. I masturbate for instance, is that not cheating on my partner? But I let him know about it. And I know some couples who do the same. I carry him along and make him see why. He didn't just find out one day and get his heart broken. Don't make me laugh? In this same age and time that couples are arranging threesomes, foursomes and orgies for themselves. To spice things up and make everybody happy? I know this is extreme , I'm just saying madam, wake up from your slumber. Sell your iPhone and go and buy Nokia 3310. Delete all your social media accounts. Remember to sell your car too and start riding camel like your ancestors. Don't let anybody fool you my dear. Not even pastors. Lie to me that you sometimes don't get bored with your husband.


    The only issue I see here is the betrayal. The betrayal! If I were you, I would blackmail him with this. I always tell people, I prefer a husband who shows tendencies of being capable of cheating and he either does it or doesn't, to one who pretends to be a saint. I'm saying this because he may not have been so faithful these part 13 years, you probably just didn't catch him. Men cheat casually a lot, and it may not mean anything. These days, they even consciously restrict it to mere flirting on the phone/social media. It's nothing serious, it's just to catch cruise and relieve stress.

    ReplyDelete
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    1. Stoppp just stopp!

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    2. 14:40 πŸ‘ŒπŸ‘ŒπŸ‘Œ

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  40. 4
    Many men these days would not even have a girlfriend if they had a choice. Maybe you don't have idea how expensive having a girlfriend is these days. Gone are the days girls date men for love. Today's chicks are not smiling. And once you're a married man, you're cursed never to receive genuine love again. You can't imagine how many of my married male friends cry to me when they suffer heartbreaks from side ckicks. Ironical and funny right? Welcome to the new Earth. Many men know this and act accordingly most times. Paying to get love(or sex) is not a good feeling either. They wouldn't if they had a choice. But once they see boobs and yansh, they lose focus! That's how they're wired.

    I read something yesterday that men perpetually seek the kind of unconditional love they got from their mothers from the women in their lives. But they forget that they were not sleeping with their mothers. To whom much is given, much more is expected, they say. If you're sleeping with me, I expect much more from you. Not the childish tantrums they throw to their mothers in order to always have their way.

    There's not enough space on this platform to say everything I wish I could say to you. But just take this from me. The world has evolved. Cheating is no longer such a big deal! There are men that cheat and still love there wives even more than the so called saint Augustines who don't cheat.

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    Replies
    1. It's good there is not enough space, we really do not want to read such. Thank you.

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    2. Anon 15:12 I follow you thank God o. God, please keep this kind of mindset far from me in real life.

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  41. 5
    Google how to cope with your situation and deal with it accordingly. The Bible has been proven to help a lot of times too. I don't care if I'm bashed by some myopic minds on this platform but I'll still tell you, DON'T MAKE A MOUNTAIN OUT OF A MOLEHILL. No one person has it all. Only you want to have a good, comfortable, handsome husband, good in bed, doting dad, everything, that still doesn't cheat. No way oo. You should have married a broke, ugly and impotent man then. And even at that, you'll be surprised.

    Also, there's the issue of STDs et all but that's an adult responsibility, it's not limited to being married or not. I don't have enough space to go into that. You can insist on using condoms henceforth. That's life. Kii de bani ka yeri oo, if your own cross is to be having protected sex with your own husband, so be it. I'm sure you don't want to be in the shoes of someone who has a vegetable, bed ridden, terminally ill man, for a husband. No one person has it all. There's no perfect life anywhere. Find a way to still live a happy life regardless of your circumstances. IT COULD BE WORSE!

    Then again, I for one cannot cope with a classless men. If he's reckless like that, you might also want to have a rethink. But that a man has one or two girlfriends once in a while, sometimes typically online only, abeg, big deal! There are married women who know and accept their husband's side chicks because the women allow their husbands to be that open and vulnerable. Go and sit down somewhere madam.

    The deal breaker for me is the betrayal. If he's lying and pretending about this, what else is he or has he being lying about in the marriage?

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    Replies
    1. Your second to last paragraph, SMH. Infact, your whole epistles, just SMHHHHH.

      Delete
    2. 11:31, you're entitled to your opinion sir/ma. Thank you.

      Delete

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