Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Sunday In House Gists - Coping With Infertility In Marriage And The Reactions Around Us..

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Sunday, January 09, 2022

Sunday In House Gists - Coping With Infertility In Marriage And The Reactions Around Us..

 This might be a sensitive topic for some but might also be a relief talking about it for some......




Are you a couple trying to conceive? How long have you been trying to conceive...

How has it affected your Marriage? What are the In laws saying about it? Are they stressing the Marriage because of this? Did trying to conceive lead to the crash of the Marriage?

Are you single and trying to conceive?


I remember when i relocated abroad, after four months i got a call from a friend who wanted to know why i was not yet pregnant, prior to that i didn't even think about it, was just enjoying myself... After that call everything changed for me and i began to worry........ 


We have people like this around us who always help us count how long we have been married and without kids..


let's gist




182 comments:

  1. Here to learn patient, courage and steadfast in God. Bravo to all in this situation and still walk around with smiles on there faces.
    God indeed won't give u a burden u can't carry

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    1. This is where I am presently....God please come true for me...my father inlaw called me last year to enquire why I am not pregnant yet....my sister inlove also called January 1st to talk about same issue...my marriage will be 2years in march.... I remember going out on a date with hubby on the 2nd and his best friend that just got married is supose to join us with his wife, he later called to tell hubby he will be coming alone...hubby informed me that the wife is pregnant...I am happy for them...I felt ooh God when will it be my time and turn...the prawn I was eating immediately tasted like cartoon in my mouth...God will remember me...and send angel Gabriel with my babies and angel Michael will fight every strong woman behind the scene pressing the remote and offering sacrifices...it is written God has settled the childless woman in her home as the joyful mother of children...praise God...WHAT GOD CANNOT DO DOES NOT EXIST...I will hold my triplets as my evidence by September 2022

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    2. The Lord will bless you with kids this year in Jesus name Amen

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    3. Amen @16:12. from your mouth to God's ears. It is settled, carry your evidence for what god cannot do does not exist.

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    4. 16:12.. Amen to your prayer. Start rejoicing...



      Lovelace

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    5. Anonymous 16 12 Amen to your prayers.None shall be barren in our midst in Jesus name Amen.

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    6. This year will not pass you by,in Jesus name,Amen.

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    7. God will hear and answer you honey

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    8. Dear Anonymous 16:12. I understand exactly how you feel cos I have been there but put your whole trust in God. I have been TTC since 2017 and had a robotic myomectomy early 2021. I was already thinking about IVF and just found out I’m pregnant. I have no idea how it happened but I know it was God’s work. I have been praying with Pastor Jerry Eze but not consistent. The same God that wiped away my tears will do same for you and everyone believing God for the fruit of the womb. Amen!!!

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  2. I always worried about not being able to conceive in marriage. It was always at the back of my mind and my husband would always say if we can’t conceive then we adopt and he meant it but which woman that wants to is okay with not carrying her child in her own womb.

    One of my close friends has been TTC for about 4 years now. Luckily she’s married into an educated family that try not to make her feel the void but she says she is tired. She has had two failed IVFs and taken so many medications. I feel so sorry for her. Once someone posts the birth of their child on our WhatsApp group, my mind immediately goes to her and wonder how she feels but she’s always one of the first to celebrate with them.

    God pls, listen to our prayers and open the womb of my friend Chi A. Please Lord, wipe her tears oh Lord. Let her carry a baby in her womb this year and give birth to a healthy baby. Amen.

    In another news, my neighbour’s sister who had been TTC for over 6 years gave birth less than a week ago. I opened Facebook and saw the post from her husband. I screamed. I had to check the pictures over and over again to be sure they were not congratulating another copy. Called her the next morning as it was already late in Italy. Called the sister too and we both started crying while celebrating the news.

    TTC women, God is ur strength. Pls don’t lose hope. Try to rejoice with others with baby news. Don’t get upset or jealous, I know it’s hard but pls try, just try. If u can adopt, pls do (sometimes for some reasons, this opens up the womb). I am really sorry y’all are going through this. I pray this year doesn’t pass you by. Amen

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  3. Will be reading the comments....

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  4. I got married 2020. I and my husband planned to wait for 1 year before having children so we can find our footing. I just relocated to Lagos and he wanted to change his job so we wanted a bit of stability before the children come.
    But all this while we weren't using any form of protection like condoms, family planning or contraceptives. We were just doing d do as it came. November 2020 few months to our one year anniversary it dawned on me that I haven't taken in despite the fact that we were not using any form of contraceptive. I became worried, told hubby and he reasoned with me reassured me and then the journey began .
    I have gone for some scans which shows I don't have any problems, he has done his sperm analysis and he's ok.
    I want to track my ovulation this month, I have been on pre-natal vitamins. I am also taking agbo.
    My in law's and my family aren't pressuring us in any way. Just some people asking questions..I just tell them...it will come.
    Though I sad sometimes when I see children. I am convinced that mine will come soon.
    Who never dey that shoe no go ever understand.
    25th January mark's my 2nd Anniversary please I need your prayers as it will go a long way for me.
    To others in this journey I say continue to do all u can and God will surely grant the desire of your heart.

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    1. You will conceive in Jesus name Amen.

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    2. Amen
      May God open your womb soon in Jesus name. Pls I would suggest that you stick to one at a time. I feel taking of agbo and oyibo medicine together is not right. You take agbo and leave orthodox medicine till after you are done with the agbo and vice versa cos some herbs make orthodox medicines impotent

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    3. God will answer your heart desires 🙏

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    4. You will carry your babies. 🙏🏼

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    5. God has remembered you already with your family. You shall conceive and bring forth your own children.

      Be strong in the Lord, never give up.

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    6. God will answer ur prayer, stay strong. Plus have you tried guava leaf tea. Just sip it every night before bed. The baby guava u can add lemongrass to it. Once on a while chew fertility leaf, Edo's call it ewere leaf. These leaves cleanse your system and aids fertility.

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    7. The Lord will bless your womb

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    8. God will answer your prayers

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    9. Sis this year you will be pregnant and birth your babies in Jesus name Amen..

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    10. God will remember you,I planned not to start having kids just like you when I first got married,but 2years after,I got pregnant,there is nothing God cannot do,keep faith!

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    11. Thanks everyone for your prayers and encouragement. It has really gone a long way.

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    12. We also said we won't get pregnant until after 1yr. We celebrated our 1yr marriage anniversary on the 2nd of January and we are 1month pregnant. You will conceive in no distance time. Keep believing God.

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    13. From your mouth to God's ears,he will not allow you to be put to shame.

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  5. It’s not an easy road o ! Snide remarks here and there ! In-laws even your own people … neighbors who have kids nko , u will hear them tell their kids “don’t play in front of that house “ , see me I No SeNd !! … I block my ears and face front !
    Gods time is always the best !
    I will WAIT !!

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    1. Imagine!!! Like bad luck will befall their children or what?

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    2. Really? They should not play in front of your house? Women Are mean!
      So sorry ma'am, keep ignoring and keep believing God for your own which will come soon by His grace.

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    3. "don't play in front of that house"

      Probably wasn't referring to you nor you not having kids. Could be a reason completely different. Please let's not get so sensitive & insecure to the point we create enemies & bad situations out of nothing. It only makes the waiting period worse.
      I say these because I have seen it too many times. Even when people mean well or aren't even thinking about them, some people misinterpret everything out of their own insecurities.

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    4. God will give you children in his own time.

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    5. "Don't play in front of that house". Nonsense. God will surprise you, and put them to shame.

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    6. imagined someone without a kid pretending to b nice to a child,then telling her co maid not to ever allow the child inside ever again, pretending to d mother she is cool with him playing@ theres,meanwhile the other maid tells u with style to pay close attention to d fake love, anytime d child goes to play at yours u drive him away,d child is picking up this vibes on his own o,wen u ask him to go play he says,she doesn't like me,then u begin to think of what d other help stylishly tells u, until one-day unknown to her I was just behind d window cleaning compound/picki with my hands and over heard the most disgusting, disheartening things said about my son Gosh! Things he doesn't do,all in d name to paint yourself good infront of your madams children? Abeg if na YOU 14:21 wld u still allow that kid? After u got evidence the person dislikes ur kid still go and play with them?
      This fool in question is Ttcing o, carries attitude with serious pepper body,na me dey try comfort her o, asking her to allow children around her and treat them nice.
      Abeg some of u go about this thing with the worst of attitude

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    7. The way people become God over the people have struggles na waya

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    8. Anon 16 : 13 it is well but what if your son really behaves the way she described cos my landlady's only son is so terribly mannered that I decided to stop him from coming to play with my kids. He loves making them cry and intimidates them all the time. Now my landlady goes about saying it's because I have 4 boys and she has one that's why I'm feeling fly but God knows I never tot towards that line. I was just trying to avoid bad influence.

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  6. My SIL is having issues keeping a pregnancy. She gets pregnant and suffers miscarriages. I have never asked her about it because she's never discussed with me. I just always hear about it through my husband. The other day my MIL accused my husband that I did not call her. He told her I was and have never been aware. The matter died down naturally. Now my question is this should I raise this topic with her and help her seek for solutions or just continue to pretend that I don't know. She is a very lovely girl but I personally mind my business in anything in-law. I have friends having infertility issues and except you discuss with me first I would never talk about it even if we see everyday.

    I hope this is not called selfish or insensitive.

    I actually feel really bad cause I had issues with pregnancies myself before and after given birth successfully so I understand a bit what it is.

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    1. As someone that has suffered miscarriage, I will tell you for free that it’s not something you wanna tell people at a time when you feel like a failure.
      I never told anyone aside my mom and mom inlaw but I got calls from friends and relatives.

      Pls get close to her and commiserate with her, she knows you are aware as family. Who knows? She might open up to you about her struggles.

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    2. Please next time you see her try to talk about it and see how it goes. Is not easy to discuss such topics with anyone but good new is very easy to discuss with people.

      Let her understand you got her back, you feel her pains and you want to help her out. The Lord is your strength.

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    3. Please draw close to her
      So many ttc find it hard to open up since miscarriage isnt a good news.
      She needs all the help and support now.

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    4. She probably has a weak cervix . She can get it Sewed up by a good gynae. GOOD gynae oo

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    5. Her body might be Attacking the pregnancy

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    6. My own sister in-law has been pregnant twice and lost them both at 7 months. It's heart breaking.

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  7. When I got married, I didn't get pregnant till after some months.

    Before I got pregnant, everywhere I entered, people's eyes were always fixated on my stomach. Like, as you are exchanging greetings, they are looking at your stomach. If you complain of headache or fever, they will go "has it entered?"
    My eyes saw pepper in those few months.
    Inlaws were always calling hubby to ask if they should be preparing to come and eat naming ceremony food. The poor man was tired at a point, he started ignoring their calls. Then they would call me and ask if it has entered and that I should ask my husband the reason why he is ignoring their calls.
    His mother was old, so she didn't disturb me like that, she could not travel and hardly called but when we visited during the burial of an uncle of my husband, mama prayed for me and said if there was any issue with my womb she has a good herbalist. This was 6months after marriage.
    His sisters and aunts were the real problem, looking at me with bad eyes because of my dressing and passing snide remarks about buying expensive clothes for their children instead of themselves.
    When I got pregnant,we didn't tell them. I was several months gone when one of his sister's son came to process his admission in my location and told his mum.
    Instead of them to rejoice with us, they became angry that we didn't tell them that we were pregnant at last. Story plenty jare.
    I wish all TTC women baby dust soon by God's grace.

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    1. Some people can be so frustrating, why no rejoice with you and your husband but pick the option of asking questions why you didn't inform them you are pregnant.

      Thank God you became a mother, I pray that everyone going through the process will conceive this year 🙏 🙌

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    2. In such family keep good news to yourself

      Unpleasant people everywhere

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    3. Amen @Ennie's prayer. Mine is colleagues of my husband and neighbours not even my in-laws. They keep asking my hubby why he is wasting time impregnating me. God will take them unaware this year by blessing my womb. Amen

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  8. Hmmm,I'm trying to have a baby,so badly,I pray God as mercy on me,I'm 41, I just want my own child,hear my silent prayers oh Lord.

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    1. You WILL carry your own child. Go deep into prayers...
      You will IJN

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    2. Amen.


      Lovelace

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    3. It's not late for you,God has not forgotten you,a cry of a child will be heard in your home this year in Jesus name,Amen.

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    4. Your case is settled 14;27 in Jesus name

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    5. Amen and Amen ,thank you

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  9. I just finished talking to my friend whose birthday is today and she literally told me she is not celebrating. She has been TTCing for 5years now. I could sense the sadness in her voice. She just turned 38. I prayed for her generally and tried to cheer her up but I felt really sad for her after. God please visit her this year. Please God show her mercy. When I call her again on her birthday next year let it be good news.

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    1. Ask her to ask for a birthday present from GOD

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    2. God will show her mercy..


      Lovelace

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  10. I and hubby agreed we would wait for 8 months to enjoy ourself before trying for babies.So when the prayers were made that in 9 months time the cry of a baby will be heard in our house we went mute,we did as planned and I found it funny that people started asking us what we were waiting for.After the 8 month wait and we started trying,lo and behold month after month for 6 months no show.Went to the hospital and we were treated and told to keep trying.In all I feel the words/inquiries and unsolicited questions and answers from people almost made me develop BP.My hubby has told me to calm down and is always ready to respond to any third party unnecessary talk.I thank God for my parents,siblings,inlaws who all respect t boundaries.I know and believe this year I will be pregnant and deliver my baby like the Hebrew woman and will be here to share my testimony AMEN...

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    1. This was what happened to my friend (the one I posted up there). They were going to wait a year before trying. Infact, she was the one that advised me to stop when I told her I was doing same. It’s been about 4 years later now and she’s still trying. I’m beginning to think that waiting sometimes have a negative effect.

      May God answer ur prayers and we will be here to listen ur childbirth testimony

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    2. God will give you the beat testimony that you so desires.

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    3. We also waited to enjoy a year
      We shall overcome and become fruitful in Jesus name.

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    4. My dear, you will share your testimony here. Hold on, ok.🤗🤗🤗

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    5. Thank you all and Amen to your prayers.@ibidunni na back to back positive congratulations go happe. Fr SDK blog this year Amen..

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    6. You shall testify this year in Jesus Name, remember to meditate on Isaiah 66:7-9 that was what I was eating like food when I had my first miscarriage and my sister-in-law asked my husband to bring 100,000 to give all those cele people to do something for me,that was the last time we visited her in December,I kept reminding God of his Word at Shiloh,I got pregnant that January and gave birth october,God is too faithful to fail

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    7. The anxiety alone isn't good for your health,God didn't bring you this far to abandon you,this year is your year by God's grace,baby dust Plumpyj.

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  11. Hhhmmmm I pray that God will bless every woman TTC. I had secondary infertility and honestly it took me ten years!!! This was mainly because nothing was found to be wrong with me and my husband. These Drs keep giving me clomid. Hubby was not worried. Kept on discouraging me from doing anything until menopause set in. Hmmm I ran into a fertility specialist and discovered that I had adhesions in my womb. By this time people were tired of asking me when I'll have another child. MIL was acting like I was barren because I didn't bring her what she requested for. I don't understand how you will be making demands for certain things and tell me that it is when I give you those things that I will conceive again!!! I ignored both her and her list!!!
    Got treated of the adhesions, did an IVF and boom had another child in old age!!! It's not also easy for those with just one child.

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    1. Jesus did it💃💃💃
      Congratulations momma
      If only IVF is known to all and quite affordable,so many would have become grandparents.

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    2. Thank you Jesus for using your challenge to prove to people around you that he is still the best doctor.

      Congratulations and God will give you more children 🙏

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    3. Congratulations

      Keep Mil at legs length and your baby away from her

      Tufia
      See talk

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    4. Wow congratulations,If IVF can be affordable like 500k.Its to save up and do it straight o..

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    5. I'm sure your MIL was shocked. Congratulations..


      Lovelace

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  12. Stella it's not easy o, this is my seventh year in marriage no child. Infertility drains you physically, psychologically, emotionally and financially, having sex with your spouse become more like a chore. My in-laws say their stuff behind my back or to their son but nobody has ever confronted me about it. My husband has been my strong tower and wish that God will have mercy and visit us this year.

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    1. Aw mahn! God will indeed bless you with a child, Maryjane. 🙏🏼

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    2. You are blessed with a good man
      That is all that matters.
      You and I will experience motherhood soon in Jesus name🙏

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    3. God will visit you this year in Jesus name@Maryjane

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    4. Amen 🙏 He'll give you your miracle baby.

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    5. He will show up this year for you and your hubby..TWINS OOOOOOO Amen..

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    6. May God give you double blessings for the pain you've passed through.We will celebrate with you this year in Jesus name,Amen.

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    7. May God gives triplets babies for your wait amen

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  13. Trying to conceive isnt for the faint hearted.To make it easy,both parties must be on the same page to work together.My hubby will never allow third party and his parents are nice to me.No pressure from them or mine just prayers.

    At some point,one tend to get desperate for result. Cant forget paying some ijaw women over 120k for massage and fibroid shrinking,drinking all sort and purging,all na scam.Getting diagnosed on time will help you navigate well.Did series of test that are expensive. When my gynea said remove this fibroid,was so scared of if i die through surgery but we put our faith in God and it was successful.

    There was a time we put all savings together for IVF and it failed.That was 2020,I was so devastated and sad.After a while we overcame and started trying again.

    So many people will give you unsolicited advice and some with remarks that are awful.In Ttc,you need to be around positive minded people,people who have been in your shoes before,be patient,keep yourself and mind busy,do things that makes you happy,have faith and being blessed with a loving and kind partner cant be over emphasized.

    The way hubby was there during the surgery and took care of me till now,even the people in the hospital were just saying I am blessed.Indeed,I am blessed.

    My prayer is that may we all still in the waiting list,get supernatural conception in Jesus name.

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    1. Amen!! God bless you and your husband with as many kids as your hearts yearn for. 🙏🏼

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    2. Amen dear. God will show up for you🤗

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    3. Olori, God will answer your prayers this year. Failed IVF is very painful cos of its price.

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    4. Amen 🙏
      God bless your home

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    5. My bestie and I were shopping for her wedding in the market then she started throwing up. I took her to one corner and asked her "babe u don carry"? She became scared.Her wedding was in 3mnths. The next day we went to carry out test and it was confirmed that she was 3wks gone. My bestie became worried that she can't wear a roborobo wedding gown o,na fitted wedding gown o.she refused to tell her hubby.said she was going to about. I tried talking her out of it but she refused.
      She booked appointment and begged me to go with her. I reluctantly agreed.She aborted and we came back.She never told anyone and she knew I wasn't going to spill too.
      On her wedding day,she wore her dream gown and danced. This is 3yrs and she is not pregnant. We are both worried and everyday I pray for forgiveness.😭😭 Her mum is beginning to be worried too but her hubby is calm.She is now a shadow of herself.
      God please have mercy.

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    6. May God come through for you and surprise you with multiple babies🤱🧑‍🍼👶👼

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    7. Wow becos of wedding dress. Omg. Wat!!!!

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    8. Congratulations sis as it will happen this year in Jesus name Amen..

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    9. Are you sure the then pregnancy belonged to her husband?? Cos I don't get the aborting, anyway good luck to her.

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    10. Omo mehn @anon
      What kind of wahala is this? God will come through for her.

      Ibidunni, idk why but I find myself always praying for you. Keep up the faith sis❤️

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    11. May God shock you this year beyond your wildest imagination.E-hugs Ibidun.🤗🤗

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    12. Ibidun put on your dancing shoes because this year MIRACLE WORKING GOD will give you a miracle#iya meta#

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    13. Ibidun put on your dancing shoes because MIRACLE WORKER will give you a MIRACLE that people congralate and celebrate you and your

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  14. Ttc is hard. It affected everything about me to the extent i had palpitations that i did 2 ecgs in a period of 1 year. The side talks nko? If you make a small move, you would hear, God will answer your prayers oh! Really, what prayers do you think i am praying? At a time, i asked my mum not to ask me anything about having a child as she could do nothing for me rather adding to the tension i had. Sex was a chore. If you want to eat. Someone would say its pregnant women that should be eating this oh. I wanted to gift a child a birthday cake and it was outrightly rejected, when i had my baby like 6 months later, the woman said and i quote"so that time you were pregnant"? Maybe she thought i wanted to use her children goodwill to get mine. The stories plenty but God came through. Now i have strong family planning in place as i have the number of children i wantmlm , to God be the glory. Please as you wait, get yourself busy. Get an extra degree, a new skill, etc as this can come in handy later. Go for thorough extensive tests with you gynaecologist and wait on God. He will surprise you. My name changed from iyawo to mummy boys. God will do it for you.

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    1. Amen . Thank God for your testimony

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    2. God be praised..See change of name and the way God answered you.I tap into your testimony Amen..

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    3. I'm so happy for you mummy boys❤️

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    4. God really talk true for your life.. Mummy boys keep enjoying motherhood..


      Lovelace

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    5. Thanks a lot twins squared, plumpyj, fidel. To God be the glory.

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  15. My elder sister waited for 14 years before she was able to give birth. That journey wasn't an easy one with everyone in our family.

    We kept on praying, asking God for one thing to bless her with the fruit of the womb. We it finally happened everyone couldn't believe it but God took away that shame from our family.

    Please if you are in the waiting room please hold onto God, never give up, do not allow what people say to get to you. Rejoice with those who has their own testimony, never envy anyone, never be angry with anyone who mock you cos they are not God.

    Finally, if you can keep your journey away from People, family members, keep your pregnancy journey away from some friends and family members.

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    1. Thank God it ended in praise..


      Lovelace

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  16. I ttc for 7+years, in this years I had multiple miscarriages, literally got pregnant yearly without a child born, 2 failed ivf. family, friends, inlaws made life miserable for me,from calling me barren to telling me they don't tell me they are pregnant because I have no child..wicked people.January 2021 my mil n sils started their nonsense,Feb 1st 2021,we found out we were pregnant, hubby decided we keep this one a secret, thank God we lv abroad..September 2021 we became parents...we are so Thankful to God..God shut their mouth...some are still too shocked to even call. God please give every woman that wants a baby a baby.

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    1. To God be the glory

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    2. So happy for you guys. May the good Lord bless and keep you all. 🙏

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    3. Wow God came through...congratulations sis..

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    4. I think every ttc couple should keep quiet when conception happens and only tell family and friends one week before the delivery date or after the child is born.

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    5. Amen to your prayers. Congratulations.

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  17. Got married july 2019,agreed to wait for 1yr so as to gather enough funds for relocation .
    we didn't do any family planning, just handed it to God in prayers.
    in June 2020 ,I went to visit a colleague who put to bed and met another colleague who has been TTC for 5yrs and still currently TTCing,she said it was an abomination in yoruba land to delay childbirth knowingly.
    I started panicking,took okro water that June after period, still saw my period in July then had a missed period in August 2020.
    Sept 2020,went for antenatal and doctor said baby isnt growing.
    started bleeding on 29th Sept,bled wella before I got to d hospital, tablets was placed into my vagina but I had bled all.
    No evacuation was done,did 3 scans afterwards ,womb was empty.i didnt really feel it.
    Missed Jan 2021 period,tested positive 4days later at home after testing negative at the hospital.
    started antenatal immediately and primolut depo injection to support the pregnancy every Friday.
    the injection pains was another thing but the pregnancy was smooth.
    no morning sickness,glowing, energetic and ok.
    at 5months,started having cramp like pains,doctor kept giving me pcm ,said it normal until my cervix opened on the day I was suppose to do gender check.
    A cerclage was performed but it was too late.
    was induced and had a still birth,this was May 2021.
    I had no complications and I used cabbage to stop the breast milk.
    I was mad at the world,I didnt know what went wrong.i married a virgin so what could have caused cervical incompetence.
    I thought I took all precautions, I used supernatural childbirth daily,I pray on my office sit at interval without fear though cos I didnt premeditate on anything going on.I hid it from everyone until I started showing at 3 month so only office peeps saw it,told my family at exactly 5months.
    I was just happy to be pregnant without any of the usual pregnancy stress.
    period started after three weeks(my body heals fast,same with the first pregnancy),I took time to heal physically and mentally.i have been ready since Oct,still waiting for my miracle rainbow twins🥰
    May God come through for all TTCs🙏
    I don't have any issue with my hubby and inlaws, they have been super supportive but my parents on the other hand, sigh.

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    1. Amen to your prayers 🙏 God will give you double for your loss.🫂🫂🫂

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    2. You shall testify

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    3. God will come through sis.

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    4. May God remember you this year! It is well with you

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    5. You're a strong woman. I can feel your strength reading this and I'm positive it will happen for you soon.

      I, on the other hand, don cry tire. I hate disappointments. Please God do it for all ttc women❤️❤️

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    6. You are a superwoman
      God will come through for you
      The next one please make sure progesterone supports like duphaston and cyclogest are readily available from the day you test positive.

      Then cerclage should be done earlier.
      Receive conception and carry to term in Jesus name🙏

      Delete
    7. The God of wonderful double will visit you this year. This is not easy at all. It makes me withdrawn to myself. 8 already but I trust my redeemer.

      Delete
    8. Now you see that marrying as a virgin doesn't guarantee fruitfulness or smooth marriage.

      Delete
  18. Hmmm,Stella TTC is not an easy route to thread,its been five years TTC,and in my second year, I lost a 6months pregnancy.my inlaws aren't much of a problem,my parents are supportive and my hubby was always encouraging not until some very close friends of his started putting words to his head, encouraging him to go get another woman pregnant,he stopped going to church and started misbehaving,they even arranged different girls for him incase anyone enters,but as God may have it,he realised himself early and deeply apologised and blacklisted those friends but cheating is not a deal breaker for me sha,cos I believe so much in self love and happiness.So I just let go and focused on my TTC.we are going through another phase of fertility treatments am just hoping God give me my own baby this year.its been 5years of native and English treatements,failed cycles and foetal death. We tried adopting last year December but the process seems imposible.wen I see birth celebrations I always imagine am the one,its only natural.i focus more on my career and doing what gives me joy but in all,i have learnt to trust God and believe His process.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. God will come through for all of us believing Him for the miracle of babies this in Jesus Christ name. Be strong!

      Delete
    2. Can you try adopting from the east. Adoption there is less stressful.. find an orphanage n adopt there.. my aunt did hers there n it’s a genuine orphanage home.

      Delete
  19. Supportive husbands are more valuable than diamonds

    Shielding the wife from funny people and comments
    Going for all tests
    Asking relevant questions from the doctor
    Loving the woman as a person not a womb
    Ignoring idiotic suggestions to "try outside"
    Praying together and trusting GOD in faith

    ReplyDelete
  20. Please Bvs how is okro used in treatment of fertility issues.

    ReplyDelete
  21. My case ended in an anticlimax, we ttc for 3 yrs, I conceived and became so sick and worn out. When I was 5 months, he woke me in the middle of the night and told me he was no longer feeling the love, I didn't know he had moved out all his stuff. He left till date. Now, I got a better guy and we doing very well. He wants to relocate but I got a job that will butter me wella in less than 2 years. We still on that and wedding bell for now. My ex then came back and told tales of being hoodwinked. I no even look him side sef.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. His loss, focus on your new home. Congratulations

      Delete
  22. The pain of a woman trying to conceive can never ever be quantified!!! It is better imagined.

    I have a child,a sweet girl. But have been trying again for a while now. I have had 3 miscarriages since then. Oh my! It broke me! I was devastated.

    When I now imagine what those that don't have one are feeling....I weep.

    Some people need just little help to take in,like drugs,etc
    Others are unexplainable.
    I just pray people are more understanding and patient with a woman trying to conceive.

    My gynae ceased my period with a drug for while. When it was meant to start,it didn't come. People of sdk! I m pregnant again!!!!
    With no help.no drugs. No hope. Just God doing His Thing!!!!!!!
    May God show mercy on all trying to conceive,amen!!!!

    I pray for a successful pregnancy and delivery!!!! By God's grace I might write Stella detailing all I did. It might help someone.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I tap into this for my friend. She said she has stopped all treatments and drugs and will just wait on God. I pray God answers her.

      Wishing you a successful pregnancy and childbirth

      Delete
    2. Awww congratulations 🥺🥺
      I always pray in advance for when I decide to try for my next baby

      Delete
  23. I was there so I know how it feels. 7 years TTC before God wipe our tears luckily I have a supportive husband mother in law wanted to start at first before hubby put her to check. Me I don’t give a damn ooooooo if you talk rubbish I stop picking your calls till date I stop talking to a childhood friend because she will always call to ask how far ore he don enter? My mother no give me problems but daddy mi may God rest his soul it got to a point I told baba to leave me alone I will never allow anybody to tamper with my sanity neighbors and aproko people nko I no dey send and I face my front we both went for test hubby is good and me too but si have a retroverted uterus God I took clomid I tire but God did it miraculously I was 2 months gone sef before I know. I pray all ttc shall carry their baby to full term

    ReplyDelete
  24. I walked in the shoes of infertility for 5 years and it was one of the toughest things I have gone through. Not even medical school comes to lose to the challenge of infertility, however one thing I did was to exercise my faith, while doing all I had to do medically. We did ivf once and I conceived triplets, whom I lost in the 14th week and I passed through another dark phase of my life. Today I have 3 children whom I gave birth to in 4 years. I just want to bring hope to whoever that is walking in those shoes today, keep faith and hope alive cos that may be all that you hold onto at some point. I bought some of my baby things years before I had my children and when I see them put those wears on, I smile and thank God for His faithfulness. We named our kids, way before we had them. These things work, people may make you feel foolish for doing them but they work. One of the things people do is to isolate themselves which is bad, get yourself someone who is wearing same shoes and make her your prayer partner. I had one and we used to pray in her house, every Tuesdays with our children clothes, spread out in her sitting room. She also has 2 children today. My hubby at some point stopped attending functions but I refused o, I told him that no one else will bear my children but me and one shouldn't create animosities because of a problem that will pass, if you don't attend a friend's wedding because of infertility, how will you make up when you eventually have your children? There were days that I will be keeping my spirit so positive and then a young girl walks into the consulting room asking for abortion for unwanted pregnancy and I used to feel like the devil just wanted to laugh at my face. As for family, I had no pressures from immediate family members but distant people. However, I've learned that when you show people that a situation brings you so much pain, they won't let it rest but when you act like you are not disturbed, they back down a bit. Wisdom is needed when handling people, some actually mean well but don't know that they are going about it, the wrong way. Don't be overly touchy, guard your utterances. I always used to say that I'm a mother of 4 children and I used to hold conversations with my children before I had them, sometimes when I'm going out, I ask them to follow me. May the Lord who changed my story, answer your too.

    ReplyDelete
  25. To all the TTC, you will carry your bundle of joy this year in Jesus name.

    ReplyDelete
  26. April 2022 will make us 5years being married, never been pregnant in these years. Hubby has been my rock, my in-laws have been very nice and prayerful about it. It's really been draining emotionally, financially and psychologically but in all, we keep being optimistic, pray and hope for the best. E no easy at all, at all but who give up nai loose. ✌️✌️✌️

    ReplyDelete
  27. I wish I had all the success stories bit no I haven't had that,13yrs with two miscarriages,Husband left and I remarried but still no baby after 5years.Couldn't live my life fully,Got tired of seeing friends with their children,felt left out and still feeling that way,I had so much hope for long but now people in my age group are already becoming grandmothers sef.if I was told I won't have my own children I wouldn't have believed it.Makes me feel lonely all the time.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. May the Lord come through for you in Jesus name.Amen

      Delete
    2. Hmmmmmm honestly this is heart breaking, continue to trust in God, he will answer you.

      Delete
    3. It's hard to live in a world full of expectations to be the odd one out. Everybody's journey is not going to look the same. You are in a perfect position to use your life for a higher purpose. You can form a support group for women going through the same thing to connect with others. You could become an infertility counsellor. There are so many ways you can use your pain to help others. Use your life, use your experience.

      Delete
    4. So sorry Anon. I think you should start living for yourself. Get to enjoy life. If you have the means take a long vacation.. You need to rest from grief...



      Lovelace

      Delete
    5. So sorry Anon. I think you should start living for yourself. Get to enjoy life. If you have the means take a long vacation.. You need to rest from grief...



      Lovelace

      Delete
    6. Please don’t give up. There is nothing God cannot do.. You will testify

      Delete
    7. Why didn't you adopt?

      Delete
    8. Dear anonymous, you should av adopted a child.... some times I wish I can be a surrogate for someone out there....

      Delete
  28. Is crazy how people will not mind their business, in my own case when I receive call from friends or even family they will ask how far he don enter,
    Naso one person call me say the girl wey Una marry almost the same time don get belle ooo. My marriage is just 6month I was worried so I went to the hospital did all the test and they came out well, the gynecologist was like why are u worried your marriage is still early.
    I say doctor na people wey dey call ask whether belle don enter, the doctor said are they the one living your life for you, My husband was like I have told her to stop worrying oo.

    Even when my mother in-law ask hubby how far your wife, My husband told her not to ask again that is God that give children.

    I just pray God bless me this new year with the fruit of the womb, because he said in his word that non shall be barren in the Land.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. God has done it! 2022 you will carry your bundle of joy

      Delete
    2. Did your husband do fertility test too? If not, let him also do it. It is not enough to release semen during sex, they have to check whether it contains enough sperm or even any at all.

      Delete
  29. Hmmm God, this is so sad to read. GOD will answer everyone waiting for the fruit of the womb in Jesus name. Amen

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Only if it is healthy for the mother to. Too many women still die from complications related to pregnancy or during childbirth. We must give consideration to the protective hand of God and what may be behind some cases of infertility. This is why there should be no stigma and judgment attached to infertility because it may be much deeper.

      Delete
    2. 18:39.
      After every prayer points made. We should always say at the end, "Not my will God but your will and let your will alone be done". God knows best.

      Delete
    3. 18:39
      You remind me of the lady who died after giving birth and she had been ttc for ten years. Maybe if he had not had a baby, she would still be alive. So let's take life as it comes, some people have been marked to die if they give birth.

      Delete
  30. People should leave newlyweds alone. The couple needs time to adjust to each other and get stronger as a unit before bringing a baby into the mix. Nothing is wrong if they wait two years or more.

    ReplyDelete
  31. Some of us that pass by sperm on the floor can get pregnant smh. I got pregnant @49 after grown kids. I had to abort oo

    ReplyDelete
  32. Please ladies cut out all forms of soy from your diet, it is known to contribute to infertility. And soy is in almost everything, so read your labels. Cut out msg, so cook naturally without flavour cubes and avoid snacks containing msg. Cut out all artificial sweeteners and soda. Cut out all foid containing artificial dyes. Do lots of juicing, especially green juices. Take chlorophyll drops.

    The husbands should be drinking one shot glass of onion juice daily for about two weeks to increase sperm production. The wives should be eating more eggs, soft boiled is better. Both parties should be consuming more okra. After ejaculation the woman should put a pillow or two under her hips and stay in that position for at least 30 minutes.

    ReplyDelete
  33. Hmmm. It is draining but God is faithful. I’ve been ttcing for 9 years. Husband is so supportive we still behave as if we just got married last month. My in-laws are supportive and prayerful except one that told my husband to get another woman pregnant . She stopped disturbing me recently when her two daughters got married 3 years ago and the are not pregnant yet. But I know with God all things are possible. I know I and her 2 daughters will carry our children this year by His Grace. I have cried, prayed, fasted. This year is our year of testimonies here on SDk. Stella you will be my children’s God mother in Jesus Mighty Name. Amen 🙏🙏🙏🙏

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. All of you saying you have prayed and cried and fasted, have you and your husband gone to a gynecologist for tests and treatments? Praying and crying and taking medicine without tests is a wasted exercise

      Delete
    2. Yes! Always take your hubby to the clinic with you! You might not be the problem but your spouse is! Another thing is to 'Detoxify' while TTC . May GOD Bless all your uterus, fallopian tubes and ovaries to bear healthy children IJN, AMEN.

      Delete
  34. Mine is 4 years plus. I have prayed and cried like my life depends on both. I do not have any pressure from my inlaw
    because my MIL and FIL are late. Just outsiders, a neighbour even made a comment that broke my heart in November 2021. I do not like native medicine but I have to start taking it. I pray God hears me.

    ReplyDelete
  35. I know it’s hard when one doesn’t get pregnant as expected. I married late in life and had kids in my 40s. We went through several IVF treatments before we were successful. If you haven’t done so, make sure both you and your man get checked out by your doctor. I am stunned that so many people still focus on the women alone. Consider adoption, IVF if you can afford it, donor eggs, etc. there are options. Some one else mentioned living your purpose. Try not to drown yourself in this. Do things that will bring you joy. Live your life. May God fulfil the desires of your hearts.

    ReplyDelete
  36. This year 2022 by the grace of God....I'm carrying my twin babies in Jesus name...Amen

    ReplyDelete
  37. Anon 17:53 you’ve gone through a lot. Is adopting a child, (not necessarily a new born) an option for you? The reality is not all women will conceive biologically. I am assuming you are in your late 40s….. firstly, pray for peace, direction and secondly, take action! There are thousands of kids that have been abandoned that will be blessed by the love you have to give. It’s not too late if you want to consider this step. I have friends who tried for over 10 years and then went through the path to adoption. They have a beautiful family.

    ReplyDelete
  38. All of the TTC women, make sure you drag your husbands to go for tests too after you must have done yours.
    Praying and crying and taking medicine without tests and treatment (if needed) is a wasted exercise.

    ReplyDelete
  39. True let your men also go for test. A friend was bit delayed after their first child eventually took her hubby for test where they discovered he had low sperm count n had to be operated upon ,luckily d wife got pregnant almost immediately after .

    ReplyDelete
  40. This year is my year.. I will carry my baby in Jesus Mighty Name 🙏

    ReplyDelete

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