Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Saturday In House Gists - Domestic Violence Narratives..

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Saturday, April 16, 2022

Saturday In House Gists - Domestic Violence Narratives..

 Are you a man or a woman living with someone who is abusing you physically, verbally and mentally?






Why are you still with this person? Or did you walk away? how are you coping? Are you a survivor of Domestic Violence? Tell us your story.

Do you know anyone who left a domestic violent situation and went back and did not make it out alive?

Are you being threatened that you will die if you leave? Are you still there because of the kids? Tell us your story!


Lets gist!

113 comments:

  1. I tried to pray for a friend in a DV marriage,I got my answer in a dream of a voice saying "what God has joined together,let no man put assunder." So I was just giving her a listening ear till the day her husband brought her back himself that he is done with the marriage. Case closed. The story is long jare

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That was the voice of the enemy. God did not join abuse together and will not condone violence in the name of marriage.
      God is love.
      Do not relent praying for your friend.

      Delete
    2. That certainly was not from God. At least she came out with her life.

      Delete
    3. Sounds like auditory hallucinations to me. Where is the proof that God joined them together? This is what Osinachi held on to till her early death.

      Jesus asked the praises who were passing a judgement of death on his disciples for stealing grains from a farm on the Sabbath and he declared them innocent (Matthew 12). Jesus gave the example of David who stole bread from the temple and it wasn't counted against him as sin. "I desire mercy, not sacrifice" is what Jesus quoted from the old testament. Jesus asked the pharisees if they won't break the Sabbath to rescue their cattle in a ditch and then went on to break the Sabbath himself in order to heal a man's hand.

      You had no business wasting time to pray for your friend instead of helping with options of where she can escape to.

      The law was not made for man but man for the law.

      Delete
    4. Recently my pastor said the same thing just a few days before Osinachi's death. He said someone came to him, a church woman for help with accommodation and having marital problems and he was about to give consent for the church to pay the rent before he heard a voice that whatsoever God has joined together, let no man put asunder. So he realised he was about to separate a marriage by being kind. Then he quickly added no grounds for separation unless there's DV involved.

      It got me thinking if this is what they teach pastors in schools of theology? I also wondered if this is why man people have died in DV situations because pastors are scared to put asunder. I hope God can really forgive pastors that have inadvertently aided homicide because of this and I hope they change.

      Delete
  2. Not me. But my sis-in-law (married to my brother) aka wife no 1.
    He abused her physocally and emotionally from the first day they got married. Few of the things he did to her were insult her parents, hit her with a pressing iron on the head, make her sleep on the kitchen floor, kick her plate of food while she was eating and ultimately blame her for her daughter's death.
    The marriage lasted for about four years.
    Then wife no 2 who was 25 years younger than him. Same physical and emotional abuse. Marriage lasted less than a year.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Physically** In** No need for who..๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿง

      Delete
    2. Something is wrong with your brother...


      1st and 2nd wife the same pattern๐Ÿ™„๐Ÿ™„๐Ÿ™„

      Delete
    3. Your bro need orientation or take him to Tekewari let them flog shege from his head.

      Delete
    4. I am shocked.

      I thought some of you women in the other post praised yourself as bringing out the angel in a man.

      Except the man decides to change
      Domestic violence is usually a pattern.

      KING XOXO MYSTERY

      Delete
    5. Hope he remains single forever! Iron?! Jeeeez! Praying for those women. Lord wherever they are please heal them๐Ÿ™

      Delete
    6. Your brother needs mental health evaluation, he's not alright.

      Delete
    7. Thank you for being honest. Others would have covered for their brother. He is clearly not ok.

      Delete
  3. He is very caring and makes gives i and kids the best things of life.. but once you back out due to his abuse he stops all his financial obligations towards us.. I'm not working and can't care for the kids half the way he does even if i get a job..

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hmmm these things won't matter once something terrible happens. Just saying.

      Delete
    2. Then work or save up to stand on your feet.

      Delete
  4. Hmmm I've experienced emotional and mental ,it was really crazy this dude would get so frantic if I missed his calls , he would hurl lots of illwords at me and call me a cheat later he'd say he is sorry .
    One time he told me I was lucky he had stopped being violent else he'd have smashed my head ๐Ÿ˜ฑI broke up with him .
    It was a very hectic relationship, he was damn too insecure, he always wanted to talk to me, one time I needed to travel with my dad for a surgery and this dude told me he was certain I was going on a gateway with another man ,I mean how ? Why did I need to lie to him?
    He had the number of my friends ,whenever he didn't hear from me ,they'd bear the brunt ,I was really young and didn't realise it was a toxic relationship, most of my friends thought he was cute !! Cute how ? Cute where ?
    The last straw was when he threatened to kill himself if we didn't make up,dude legit finished a bottle of whiskey and was driving to mine when he had an accident ,luckily he was unhurt but I knew I was in danger ,I found courage to leave that day and that was the end.
    In 2016 he resurfaced told me he was a different man and asked me to marry him ,I told him I wouldn't marry him and guess what guys ? He started cursing all over again.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Marry bend his mouth.

      Vawulence man..

      Delete
    2. Thank God for you ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿฅฐ๐Ÿฅฐ

      Delete
    3. Changed man indeed but 2 seconds you are back to your old self. Thank God for your Choco. Sweet babe like you. God abeg o

      Delete
    4. Awwww, thank God you had the courage to leave before any tangible commitment.
      You dodged a real time bomb.

      Delete
    5. Thank God for the courage and strength to leave him.

      Delete
    6. Glad you left him. Whatever they do during courtship is a dress rehersal

      Delete
    7. Very uncouth and will never change

      Delete
    8. Hmmmmm,very typical,I dated one lousy local ilesa boy ,olumide,he does everything you said there and more

      Delete
    9. The Original ShugarGirl16 April 2022 at 21:09

      Wawu!

      From changed to unchanged in split second.
      Glad you came out rather than believing he was the best thing ever.

      Delete
    10. Hmmm!this name sound familiar with the same name and attitude...I hope he isn't based in the north.

      Delete
    11. A lot of unstable people pretending they are ok. I am happy for you dearie.

      Delete
  5. There’s no such thing as domestic abuse, it’s brain reset. Afterall, the women, wives and mothers on the JJC/Funke child assault post called it a little brain reset. Any woman or man dem dey beat, make e manage his/her reset.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This your sarcasm is something that many ought to consider. The way some abusers beat their victims is the same way they were beaten.

      Delete
  6. Everyone will soon start claiming to be the victim. Abeg if na you dey beat oga, tell us o.
    Hmmnn

    ReplyDelete
  7. Stella, there are some ladies who call their brothers to beat up their husbands when they quarrel. Or they arrange akpu obis to beat him up. Do we also classify those ones as DV?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Is it for revenge? If so thumbs up

      Delete
    2. @17:27
      You are supporting evil. If they kill him; that's thumbs up, right?
      If the husband is your brother and is killed, thumbs up right?

      Delete
  8. Most women that men abuse are weak,naive,dull and have nobody that can stand for them!...
    You cant beat someone like me and go Scot free!..
    I dont even need my brother's help to deal with you..

    See,if your husband is beating you,just make sure you kill him first before he kills you by poisoning his meal..
    Let him die a slow death!..
    When he eventually die,you can now relax and enjoy his money in peace!...
    It's better to be a widow than to be a divorcee..
    Nonsense and ingredients

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Na wah ooh!

      Delete
    2. Queen, kill??? That's not cool...

      Delete
    3. May God have mercy on you. Its better to walk away from ab abusive relationship than take some one's life

      Delete
    4. There they go again with the labels " It's better to be a widow than to be a divorcee..". Then they will cry fake tears over the death of Sister Osinachi.It is this type of "marriage is a do-or-die affair" mentality that is keeping people in the stone age.Live and let live.

      Delete
  9. What can we call the type of abuse where the man of the house doesn't pay for anything? Not rent, not school fees, not rent. Nothing.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Financial.

      Delete
    2. Deadbeat and domestic abuse

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    3. Why is d woman still there? She is better off on her own since she is doing everything. Or they use marriage swear for her?

      Delete
    4. They are called house husbands

      Delete
    5. Dead beat oartner... In such a situation, if he has no job but searching for one, bear with him but if he has a job and still dont help or he has no job and unwilling to find one, please take a walk.

      Delete
    6. So he is just bring dick to the table?
      I will actually leave, I can’t continuously be feeding a grown ass man

      Delete
  10. Well,I don't know where to classify mine. Hubby has always abused me emotionally. I have sent like two Chronicles to that effect. He cheats and rubs it in my face that I am the cause. Even while we are staying under his parents roof,he still didn't regard me. My crime was sticking with a man who had nothing but believing things would get better. It was on that premise that we moved to his parents family house and after that he refused to look for an accommodation,several pleas from me and others proved abortive until he started cheating. I would cry to his parents and they would always find a way to blame me. Mind you,while there,I did everything I could for them as if they were my parents. But there was no freedom,they talked to me like I was a child, scolding me, telling me they didn't want to hear that my parents were aware of anything going on in their house.Father in law, specifically warned me that if he heard I told my people anything,I would know who he was. I was so depressed,I had no friends there cos I relocated to that State because of marriage.i would cry and threaten to go back to my people,they would dissuade me that it was in my place to keep praying for their son,that I am the one to know how to keep my home.
    Hmmm,last year I took in for my second baby,I was so sad because that was not in my plans,soon one of hubby's sidechic,a single mother with two kids sent him a text that she was pregnant and he should stop avoiding her. I felt like dying. This is a man I supported in his business that is barely catering for us and his parents because it's like a family business he took over. I had no social life. I moved from my office to the shop to help out till 9pm everyday from Monday to Friday. I stayed back Saturdays to do house chores and joined him at the shop on Sundays after Mass but he paid me back with heartaches and cruelty. I cried after intercepting that message. Told his people,again they talked me out of leaving because of my pregnant state. We trudged on till March this year,while having an argument this my hit me. Slapped me so bad that I had to go look at the mirror to be sure my eyes were still there,in my 7month of pregnancy o! I couldn't even tell anybody not even my mom. Until he ran to his WhatsApp status and started shading me ,posting about women who disrespected their husbands. Hmm,my mom called him and asked if there was any problem between us,he flared up and started insulting her and me ,told her he wanted to slap me then I beat him, my Mom quickly called me and asked if there was any problem,and that this man said I beat him. I told her he was actually the one who hit me. My family was infuriated on why he should hit me knowing my condition,my dad told him he wanted to see me and my boy first thing the next day. He blew up,insulted my parents,told me if I left the marriage was over blah blah. I just packed my bags and left the next morning. His parents didn't ask me what happened despite all the utterances their son was making. And I have been with my parents now for a month and NOBODY from his household has asked after me or their grandson. I enjoy absolute peace now and looking forward to birthing my baby next month. After that,I will pick up the pieces of my life together. Person no die!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well done!
      Good on you for leaving.
      Wish you a safe delivery and a happy baby.
      You are strong, babe. You got this!

      Delete
    2. Why do I have this feeling that you would go back once they come begging?

      Anyway, I pray you don't. If he wanna cater for the kids from a distance, allow him.

      Delete
    3. Pack all your bag(s) and baggages already.Run! Skedaddle!

      Delete
    4. ๐Ÿค—๐Ÿค—๐Ÿค—๐Ÿค—

      Safe delivery dear

      May God come through for you..

      Delete
    5. Most abusers are enabled by their parents and siblings.

      KING XOXO MYSTERY

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    6. Gosh I remember this Chronicle well! Thank you Jesus. Please do not go back! Please!

      Delete
    7. Honestly I felt like screaming at you the whole time. But it’s well. You stayed until you were finally chased out.
      Moral of the story? Don’t stick with anyone hoping they make it. What about you? Why you no fit stick with yourself and make it?. I pray you don’t go back when they come begging, because they will.

      Delete
    8. Please don't go back. DO NOT GO BACK!!! I wish you safe delivery.

      Delete
    9. God will surely help you and wipe all the tears ๐Ÿ˜ญ and pain away. Wishing you a safe delivery. ๐Ÿซ‚๐Ÿซ‚๐Ÿซ‚๐Ÿซ‚

      Delete
    10. So sorry๐Ÿค—๐Ÿค—๐Ÿค—๐Ÿค—
      Wishing you safe delivery

      Delete
    11. People who hated you so much that didn't mind abuse being done to you

      Rotten evil family
      Broke
      Mean
      Heartless

      I don't need this vex this afternoon

      You have 2 kids and your life
      Your peace and a loving family

      RESPECT YOURSELF AND BUILD UOUR SELF ESTEEM

      JESUS DIDNT DIE FOR ANY ACCURSED THING TO TRY AND DESTROY YOU!

      That man is possessed, refuse to have a covenant with death, pray for strength to focus and bring up your children

      Delete
    12. I have a feeling you will go back if he comes to beg. Please I beg, think of your children and the effect this will have on them in future and stay put with your family

      Delete
    13. What a dysfunctional family? How can a parent encourage a woman to continue to patch up with an abusive son all in the name of marriage. Moving out is good for your safety. Someone that doesnt respect your parents doesnt deserve being your husband. He will regret his actions. His parents will come begging soon, dont listen to them.

      Delete
    14. Hmmm,last year I took in for my second baby- ๐Ÿ˜’๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ™„

      Sis, let's not deceive ourselves. You were an accessory to your abuse and if this man shows up with the family you have been sitting by the window to receive for a a few weeks, you will choose to go back to that hell hole you're used to.

      You have a warped concept of love: this thing you have to suffer for and don't deserve. Of you think it's important, with in ridding yourself of that complex.

      You are the type that discourages those who want to assist victims. The chronicles you chose to share with strangers instead of your living parents, the going to slave for a man after mass but having no plans on how to stand for yourself or leave.

      You didn't leave. Your family sent for you and you are not mentioning any plans to stand on your feet after you deliver because you don't have any except going back to this man's family house. I wish you the best. I can't shout.

      Delete
    15. DO NOT GO BACK. You see how the late gospel singer went back after her husband came to beg her, and never returned. A word is enough for the wise.

      Delete
    16. Please I'm on my knees, don't go back there, you're just a convenience wife, don't go where you were not love,him and his family may kill you n cover up

      Delete
    17. If u ever go back, just know you have been cursed. Just know that.

      Delete
    18. If you go back, just know that you just approved being bitten like a thief. Think of what to do after giving birth that can put food on your table. Let your mom help with your newborn.

      If you have any talent or skill eg cooking, baking, planning events, shopping for people, noe is the time to showcase it. You will be fine.

      Delete
  11. I have a good marriage but I will tell the story of a woman I met in condemned cell at the prison clinic when I volunteered to work there.
    Her husband had been doing macho tough guy for her; kicks, slaps, abuse etc. One day, she was cooking in the kitchen and an argument ensued and the man punched her, she picked up the pestle and smashed his head in one swoop and the man fell limp -he was dead!
    She pleaded guilty to manslaughter but was sentenced for murder, the first count. She came to the clinic with sleepless nights, headaches, panic attacks, anhedonia (loss of interest in everything), loss of appetite, etc. Her blood pressure indicated severe hypertension. There were some other diagnosis bothering on depression/anxiety etc.
    Her main worry was her kids and what had become of them. The kids/ society's perception of her as the one that killed her husband (without considering the pains she bore while the marriage lasted). Guilt was also a main issue.
    In all these, I discovered that she was not bothered one bit about the hangman (whom usually other condemned inmates feared so much).
    Then came the regrets; that she did not flee the violence while it lasted at home but rather took matters into her hand and in a fit of rage smashed the man's head. Even at death, she had not forgiven the man for causing her so much sorrows in her life.
    We treated her ailments, counseled her and above all reasoned with her to see the gains in forgiving her late husband and looking up to God who alone could change her situation at the moment. She responded to treatment. That was the much I had contact with her.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Honestly wish i could send you money for you and your baby whalahi to celebrate your freedom and if they come to beg always have it at the back of your mind that if you return the suffering you tasted will be x 2, cause the already know how having mental and physical power over a percieved weak person is, meanwhile they haven't called or checked because they believe you will come back, the only thing is to ensure he pays welfare for his children but focus on yourself, God be with you.

      Delete
    2. @15:14
      I am so confused here. There is not correlation between your comment and the one you typed under or even the topic in question.๐Ÿ˜ฎ๐Ÿ˜ฎ

      Delete
    3. Make sure you tell your parents EVERYTHING.
      Niw you can see that your socalled husband will kill you with the backing of his parents and nothing will happen.
      If you love yourself, RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!

      Delete
    4. Thank you for this story. I hope it will serve as a lesson for those who think they can endure and suffer the most. If you're ready to be killed but the man, are you also ready to suffer the consequences of mistakenly killing him?

      Delete
  12. This reminds me of Flora O. Mehn... She disappointed everyone Sha. Hope she is ok wherever she is. Or maybe she has been banned from social media.

    ReplyDelete
  13. He said if I meet a decent financially stable guy, the guy will not want me cause he can find someone much better

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. See the lies he told for free

      Keep walking cut such a liar off

      Delete
    2. 17:45 Thank you sir/ma’am

      Delete
  14. Stella I heard and saw things yesterday. I went to this my customer shop to make my nails, she was unaware I understand Yoruba, I heard her narrating to one of her friend of how her husband beat her and she has been sleeping in her shop for two days with the kids. Stella a shop without window for that matter. I felt for her and was about looking for a way to give advice, boom I saw another.

    A woman was rushed to a near by hospital there, what happened to her? Stella they said her husband smashed her her head, she was rushed there with her head wrapped and held with wrappers.

    Stella I couldn’t hold it anymore I started preaching to that my customer indirectly, I don’t know if she got my message or not. I wil still look for a way to talk to her.

    The painful part of it is that these women toil day and night for their family, after they get beaten as an appreciation. The woman with the cracked skull sells vegetables and fruits with her kids to keep the family moving. She even looks way older than her husband due to suffering and Unhappiness . God help women in marriage.

    ReplyDelete
  15. I have a friend who dated a married man for years and he used to beat her. When I say beat I mean serious boxing. He was even broke so I didn’t get it. When asked she said she loved him. He once broke her wrist. And the funny thing is that he ended the affair to concentrate on his wife as she found out and threatened to leave him. My friend begged and begged him. It’s been years but I know if he comes back to my friend she will accept him back, beating and all.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. God abeg! Is this stupidity or what? Jazz? Hah na wa o

      Delete
    2. Your friend has zero self esteem and self respect

      See what she is settling for?
      PARENTS BUILD SELF ESTEEM INTO YOUR CHILDREN OOOOO, BOTH MALE & FEMALE

      This is not normal in any planet in this galaxy

      Kai

      Delete
    3. Married, yet broke and still violent on her...what a total waste of sin!

      Delete
    4. So man y women are in this group. They love abusive people and even protect them.

      Delete
  16. When i got married newly, i experienced DV for three years. My marriage is 13 years now. I stayed cos of shame. Though he has stopped physical abuse. But i swear, i hate this man with passion,
    Which he also knows. I pray he dies in his sleep. I need to be free. I have never known what orgasm is in sex, maybe because my mind has never been in the love making cos of the hatred. I just need my freedom. I realy want to be a widow.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Shuo just leave
      Why are you waiting and hoping for him to die
      Do you think God doesn't love him cause he hit you

      Delete
    2. Release him from your mind please
      You are hurting yourself by becoming so toxic

      Delete
    3. Release him from your mind please
      You are hurting yourself by becoming so toxic

      Forgive him to get rid of his mental baggage heavy in your mind

      Allow GOD reward him

      Free yourself

      Delete
    4. Why not leave him rather than pray for him to die, you can have a better and fulfilled life out there than living in misery.

      Delete
    5. Its very easy, for your happiness, forgive him and walk away from the marriage. Dont ever wish him dead. There are people that their head returns whatever evil directed at them. Dont be the victim here.... Take a walk now and free yourself from all guilt. Being a widow will do you no good.

      Delete
    6. Nne,please talk a walk and don't look back,,no shame in walking away peacefully than wishing him die..

      For your sanity and peace talk a walk and free yourself from this bandage you are in not marriage.

      Smiling and enduring and suffering in silence.

      It is well dear

      Delete
    7. If you can't forgive him, please leave or give a distance before one of you commits murder. You have just one life. Don't waste it stewing in negative energy.

      Delete
  17. So we don't have any man here who's been abused by a woman to tell us his side of the story? Funny how I know more men in abusive relationships and marriages than women. I know one we have to accompany home sometimes to explain to his wife why he came back from work late so that she can let him into the house. I know another man who pays his wife his salary and still collects the occasional public slap whenever his wife deems fit. I know another who carries his wife bag upon the big car he bought for her. I know lots of women go through domestic abuse but goddammit!! Men do too and dare not talk. Before my sisters came, a family friend has been crashing in his car in front of his house and only goes in to shower and dress for work. Right now, I know a neighbor who you can't distinguish from the houseboy. I really don't know why all these rich dudes get emotionally abused by their wives and side chicks sef. I know a few ex boyfriends of mine who would call our short term lived relationship as the most trying time of their lives. Till tomorrow, I don't know why they didn't leave. I still had to dump them for taking too much of my crap. Oh well๐Ÿ˜Œ

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. These women might be diabolic. Check very well, the men might not be in their right senses.

      Delete
    2. I know another who carries his wife bag upon the big car he bought for her- not abuse.

      Delete
    3. Thank you anon 19:10. There’s only one case of abuse I see yeye person wrote up there oo. The rest na marriage palavas. That one crashing at your place, ask him why. That is if he will tell you the truth

      Delete
    4. 19:31 I wonder why you all believe yeye person is a lady.it's a guy behind that moniker forget all the unrealistic stories he shares here about his so called sisters.All lies to make people think he's a woman. see him defensing his gender

      Delete
  18. hmmmmmmm
    alot is going in today's marriage ๐Ÿ’”๐Ÿ’”๐Ÿ’”๐Ÿ’”
    Father, in Your mercty I pray I get it right Maritally in Jesus name ๐Ÿ™๐Ÿ™๐Ÿ™๐Ÿ™๐Ÿ™๐Ÿ™

    ReplyDelete
  19. I left my husband last year. The first time he hit me was a few months after the birth of our child. We were arguing and he told me that I should leave his house. I said that I would leave and would be leaving with my child. He told me to leave the baby. I refused. He cornered me and refused to allow me to leave. I tried to push pass him, with baby in my arms, and he exploded. He started screaming that I had hit him in front of our child. I did not. I simply tried to move pass him. He punched me in the face. It took only a few seconds for the shock to wear off. I then slapped him in his face and left the house with my kid. Called the police (they never showed) and called my Dad. Dad calmed me down and in so many words told me that I provoked my husband. Told me that I should forgive him and stay in the marriage. I went back home. A couple of days late, or maybe even the next day, hubby apologized. We went to marriage counseling for months. Things were fine for a while. But there was always emotional abuse. He would say things about my upbringing, my faith, the way that I dressed, my abilities as a wife. There weren't constant put downs. He held a lot in and then at the slightest "provocation" he would explode and unleash a string of verbal abuses. More therapy...nothing helped. The straw that broke the camel's back was when he pushed me and I fell and injured my back, resulting in months of physical therapy. I did not provoke him. I simply told him that I did not want to speak with him in that moment because I could tell that he was angry. My refusal to have a discussion with him infuriated him, so he pushed me. I called the police and they came. He was removed from the house, not arrested, and we have been separated since then. 3 years passed between the first and second times that he physically assaulted me, but that was enough for me. I refuse to raise my child in a toxic environment.

    My husband clearly grew up seeing his father abuse his mother (this came out in therapy) and normalized that behavior. For months, I kept saying that if he got help for his issues I would be willing to stand by him. He lacks the self awareness to make that possible. He has yet to acknowledge his role in the fallout of our marriage. In his mind, I just woke up one day and called the police on him for no reason. I refuse to be with a person like that. I pray for him daily - that he gets the help that he desperately needs for himself and for the child that we share. While I know my instincts to protect myself and my child were spot on, this experience has been an emotional rollercoaster. Thankfully, my parents fully support me. Even my dad, who initially told me to work things out, told me that I shouldn't go back to my husband. I'd rather live alone than in fear of what could happen in 1, 5 or even 10 years. We know that domestic violence can easily escalate and I don't want to die or kill anyone else in self defense. It was better for me to move on.

    I realize that it has been "easier" for me to leave because I am highly educated, in the US, and I have the support of my parents and siblings. Family members in Nigeria are so sad for me because of the stigma of being divorced, but I do not care! I refuse to let that man belittle me, abuse me, or kill me. God does not want that for me, so why should I accept that for myself! The road ahead will not be easy. I have to coparent with an emotionally unintelligent, angry man. But I have a newfound peace that makes it all worth it. I do believe that people can change, but I ain't waiting around for him to realize the error of his ways. I'm 35, intelligent, outgoing, and beautiful, and I have a lot to offer someone when the time comes. This will not break me.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. ๐Ÿ™๐Ÿซ‚๐Ÿค—๐Ÿซ‚๐Ÿค—๐Ÿซ‚๐Ÿ’•๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿฅฐ๐Ÿฅณ

      Delete
    2. Your story is very encouraging. I'm glad you got out.

      Delete
    3. Hugs sis, thank God you found courage. Your self esteem is spot on ๐Ÿ™Œ๐Ÿ™Œ๐Ÿ™Œ

      Delete
    4. ๐Ÿค—๐Ÿค—๐Ÿค—

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    5. ThankGod for the strength to take a walk,hugs sis,hugs๐Ÿค—๐Ÿค—๐Ÿค—

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    6. I hope many women out there will learn from your experience.

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    7. ๐Ÿค—๐Ÿค—๐Ÿค—๐Ÿค—

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    8. That's the spirit

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    9. Thanks, everyone.

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    10. This is how it should be done . For women who don’t have any education or good support system it’ll be harder but doable.

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    11. Wow, I see you have self esteem, well done. It is so important for surviving dv of any sort. Please be very careful and vigilant about your ex husband, since you still have to coparent with him. Such people will not like to see you succeed.

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  20. People in marriage are going through hell,I know of several ladies in my area going through domestic violence at home and they remain to stay because of some silly culture and what the holy books did not say,my friends mum use to beat up her husband, ask him to wash plates,clothes etc even seized his car for herself and the poor man will enter public transport,the annoying thing is when this man reaches his banking halls the way he barks at his subordinates,you will think he is a real macho man at home

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    1. So it is abusive for a man to wash plates and clothes...na wa o

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  21. Hmmm,he lives abroad and normally comes home twice a year and all of a sudden the years started rolling by and it was five years already,when he finally came home,I saw evidence of a new wife and two kids and when I asked,I got an answer with kicks and blows. Was so devastated and had to move out of the house after 18 years of marriage๐Ÿ˜ž๐Ÿ˜ž๐Ÿ˜ž๐Ÿ˜ž

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    1. So sorry about this. Do you believe that you can still be happy and live a fulfilled life?

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    2. There defence is always with beatings

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