Hmmm....
STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
MARRYING A YOUNGER MAN
We have been friends for like 8years; he had always wanted us to be more than friends but I kept saying no because I'm older by one year.
I like him and he possesses most of the qualities I pray for in a man.
For months now he has been on my neck to accept to marry him and he would want it to happen this year.
I know people usually say age is nothing but numbers but I would like to hear from you and others on the blog.
Do I need to get worried about the age difference? Is anyone currently in this type of relationship/marriage?
Is there a disadvantage with it?
Thanks so much for all you do
Hello Stella and my fellow Blog Visitors......
There is this guy I've known for a long time.
We have been friends for like 8years; he had always wanted us to be more than friends but I kept saying no because I'm older by one year.
I like him and he possesses most of the qualities I pray for in a man.
For months now he has been on my neck to accept to marry him and he would want it to happen this year.
I know people usually say age is nothing but numbers but I would like to hear from you and others on the blog.
Do I need to get worried about the age difference? Is anyone currently in this type of relationship/marriage?
Is there a disadvantage with it?
Thanks so much for all you do
Age is nothing but a number indeed.... The most important thing to do in cases like this is to follow your heart not your head.....Follow it.
It is only in Nigeria you see a woman marrying a younger man as a problem....it is ok, do it!
One year is fine, anything more than that I personally won't. If you love and you feel you are okay with him character wise then you are good to go
ReplyDeleteA physically/mentally mature man is a mature man irrespective of age difference. Could be 1,10 or even 20 years age difference. It don't mean shite. Our problem is that we were raised with this culture to revere elders, that's why most peeps grow up to be timid and cannot
Delete1 year is actually nothing now. My hubby is older by a year,but I'm the responsible one in the marriage.
DeleteMarry him. Who actually cares if you don't go about reporting yourself..
ReplyDeleteIf he ticks over 70% of what you want in a husband, please marry him.
DeleteIf there are other flaws, weigh them. I had qualities that stuck high, medium, and low on my list. You know best the human qualities you can't compromise; how he treats you, how he treats others, how happy he makes you, his confidence (not threatened by you, sucess-wise, age, beauty etc). Then how ready is he to be a husband true and through (job and financial capacity).
Marry him, husband that will misbehave will do so regardless of age difference.
ReplyDeleteDon't let the age be an hindrance. Ask yourself if you love him, if you can respect him despite the age difference, and if you can be submissive. If your heart tells you to marry him, please do. People's opinion doesn't matter but yours. Good luck to you.
ReplyDeleteJust the truth; and nothing but the truth.
DeleteIf he is mature and have sense then follow your heart
ReplyDeleteDon't do it , we are Africans the level of maturity defers even you that is asking can you respect him as your husband knowing he is your junior
ReplyDeleteAge is a number depends most times on the guy in this case
ReplyDeleteI heard age is a number when we started but in the end he was giving me speeches about if we were similar age, it would have been easier and better. Like our age was going to change.
One year is not too much, don't let it bother you, na who you tell go know
ReplyDeleteOne year is too little of an age difference to matter to me sha. If he checks all other boxes, I would go with the flow
ReplyDeleteMy elder sister is 4 years older than her husband. They've been married for 9 years now. You will never notice the age difference. I think it's cos she married her best friend.. You would be surprised if you see them together. You would think they just go married. It all depends on the level of maturity on both sides.
ReplyDeleteWizkid FC
Proudly TIV
Tiv🙄🙄🙄, na your tiv bro gave me that disease with capital letter😪😪
DeleteSo sorry, dear Anon 16:20.
DeletePoster you don't have a problem.
ReplyDeleteSend us Invite in due time.
Well, kindly tell me any written law; of God or of men that you are disobeying by marrying this man. The Bible has no such commands.
ReplyDelete"He that finds a wife, finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord."
If this man is a nice man like you have said, why not marry him. But dear, know that you have to submit to him in love.
If not, don't. Good wishes.
One year difference is not much nah. You guys are more like age mates. If you truly love him and can live happily with him, I don't see what is stopping you.
ReplyDeleteMy dear you don't have problem. The doff is not much and he's aware so go ahead and marry him as long as you both understand yourselves and he loves you.
ReplyDeleteIn a society where there are old fools without focus and direction ,selfish yet want to lead the way from marriage to government
ReplyDeleteFollow who know road
Confirm from GOD that he is the right person and keep moving
A year is nothing
I will give you the same advice i gave my friend when she asked me the same question. If this man tells you to sit down and not go out when you really want to do so would you obey him as your husband? Can you respect him? Do you feel safe when you are with him. If yes then you don't have a problem but if not please don't go ahead
ReplyDeleteWhy would I feel safe with any man that tells me to sit when I want to stand
DeleteWhy will any man tell me to sit down and not go somewhere? When it’s not like the place is unsafe or something like that.
DeleteCan a woman tell her husband to sit down and not go anywhere?
Hey God! Pekele pekele, arugbo jegbese
Hmmmmm set awon if my husband say A,I will say B. There are times your hubby will tell you not to do what you desire to do due to one reason or the other. If u wanna stay married for long,learn to be submissive aunty eka n co
DeleteAll this submission that steals you people’s destiny
DeleteWives tell husbands to do and not to do. Husbands obey. A wife told her husband she would not relocate unless paid marital allowance equivalent to her salary to be lost by the proposed relocation. The husband agreed. Some other husband will relocate without agreeing to the wife's condition. Instructions or advice or requests by a spouse is expected to be prefaced by reasons most times except in emergencies.
DeleteIf you don't trust a prospective partner well enough to act on their words, don't marry them. Marriage is not an aluta ground.
22:28 that’s not the same. Agreeing is different from doing it because it was ordered
DeleteOrdered is what we were talking about
Heck my husband can ask if I can boil rice for him instead of writing this text and I’ll go do it. That’s not really submission. That’s just agreeing
'Sit down' as per na puppy e dey train ba. Mtsheeeeeeeeew.
DeleteThis is the silliest thing that I have read in a long time. Older by one year? If he has been the only one knocking on your door all this eight years and you could not find anyone else to marry within that space of time then you better catch some sense.
ReplyDeleteSee cultural conditioning and how it imprisons ppl. Imagine you probably could have had a good life all this time but for being brainwashed you let it slip. Decide if you want to continue to live in bondage or be free.
Can you submit to him? I don't think I can submit to a man I am older than. We are Nigerians and I was trained to respect my elders not the other way round, there will be cases he would do some nasty things, hope you won't see it as disrespectful? In marriage tour spouse will do some things and you will feel like insulting him, acting rude towards him, but when you remember he is not your age mate, he is older you will just respect yourself
ReplyDeleteYou can submit to anyone
DeleteSubmission is a choice. Respecting others is a choice as well. If you decide you should submit to your husband you will
Whether or not you should be submitting to anyone is different question
Well said @16:58. We respect our colleagues at work whether younger or older, especially when higher in office. We submit to their instructions. We sit and don't go out of the office if they say no in line with office rules. But in marriage ...
Delete"I was trained to respect my elders not the other way round"
DeleteYou were trained very wrongly aunty.
One year is no age difference. I am currently dating a man that is 8 years younger than I am and we blend so well. My dear, go ahead.
ReplyDeleteone year is not a big deal...I am 18 years in marriage and 3 years older than hubby....we have 2 kids...he is responsible and mature with no typical naija mentality wrapped around age so we blended easily. Also, I had no problem submitting to him as i trusted he could take care of me.. he has always been my mr fix it...we are friends, we gist, play, quarrel and honestly the age only comes up occasionally so we dont even notice...it is only when we want to yab each other i call him small boy and he says small boy wey dey chop old mature meat lol..look for more lasting qualities. but by all means if age bothers you then just let him go, not all relationships must end in marriage.. good part is he looks like a daddy and me the baby girl for life...lol...
ReplyDeleteThe age gap isn't much
ReplyDeleteWhen you get married , you d know that age is not the issue. My wife is 3 years older than me, our marriage is 12 years, and we ve had a very loving marriage. Age should be the least of your worries
ReplyDeleteI’m older than my husband. We get along just fine. We don’t even particularly keep it a secret. I still get to call him agbaya and demand he remains food for me. Ours is less than a year but different years so when we fill a form, it’s obvious.
ReplyDeleteIf this is the only reason you’re hesitating, drop it. A responsible and good man is one not because he’s older than his wife.
Conjugal bliss 😘
My Mum is older than my Dad with 3 years and they have been married for 46 years. Love is love dear.
ReplyDeleteWow , nice one
DeleteO boy
DeleteThis na senior for this marriage biz o
I was like you sis, a year ago I had the mentality of not dating a guy younger than I am, I am in my 20’s and I love dating men that are at least 30 or so, but lol.. anywhere, I’m older than my man with almost 3 years, and this is the best relationship I have ever been in, like this guy is so mature in his reasoning, treats me like I mean everything to him, spoils me silly with gifts, vacay, cash.. respects me, doesn’t believe in cheating, and oh he’s so hardworking and so intelligent.. sometimes I wonder how I got so lucky, so what if I am older? We plan to get married next year and I honestly can’t wait to say yes to my best friend. ❤️
ReplyDeleteSo poster, if I were you, I’ll give this a try, I mean what’s there to try?
Someone is asking me out but I’m 5 months older than him. I know exactly how this poster feels.
ReplyDeleteIf you love him deeply and he loves you deeply, go ahead and marry him......... Josaria
ReplyDelete...