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Thursday, September 01, 2022

Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative...

 Hmmm...








STAND ALONE NARRATIVE

PREGNANT WITH A TTC FRIEND


Good day Stella. 


 I have a little issue on my plate that I would appreciate wise inputs from the blog family.

 I have been TTC for over 4yrs now. I have a 6yr old already. I have this very nice friend of mine, she has been married for a little over 3yrs and also TTC no child at all yet. 


We do encourage each other from time to time, pray and just hang out to chill, exchange info from our different Drs appointments. just the two of us, she’s more of an introvert and doesn’t keep much friends. She confides in me a lot. We do randomly send selfies to each other when we are out and about. 


Now to my reason for writing this. 


I just found out I’m pregnant over the weekend. Yay! 

Now, We are supposed to hang out this weekend and I’m wondering Do I tell her about my pregnancy yet? or wait it out till it starts showing I feel it may make her feel a bit sad and abandoned by God if I tell her now. I also feel if maybe she finds out later she may be hurt that I didn’t tell her. I don’t want to hurt her feelings. Sometimes she had mentioned that at least I have one child already, so I have someone to keep me preoccupied in the waiting, now she may feel I’m about to have two while she’s yet to have any. 


I don’t know if this is going to change the dynamics of our friendship, I really hope not. When my bump starts showing sending her random selfies like we used to do might seem insensitive. 


Please what is the best way to go about this situation and how do I coordinate myself this period so I don’t ever appear to be insensitive to her plight.
 



I dont think you should tell her yet oh..... You dont need to announce anything to her.. There is no easy way to go about this, she will feel hurt when you tell her and might not even want to see you....

If you have to tell her please wait until the pregnancy is older....

What if you tell her and something happens? You will blame her.

94 comments:

  1. Hmmm. This one is hard o. Lemme read the comments. Good afternoon

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Tell her abeg but don't show too much excitement. Encourage her that God will do her own.

      Delete
    2. Either way she will find out so I'll suggest you just tell her now and pray with her. The earlier the better

      Delete
    3. Put yourself in her shoes. If she was pregnant and hid it from you to announce on a later date, how would you feel? 🀷‍♀️

      After a month, inform her.

      Delete
    4. Please tell her, she will figure it out later if you tell her when it’s late and you will not like the strain on the friendship. For you to come here and ask for our opinion, That means you don’t trust her. You are not a good friend. Because it has happened for you now, you are now thinking otherwise. I pray God blesses her with Twins or triplets. If you truly value the journey you both have been on, you will tell her.

      Delete
    5. Tell her now. Her miracle may be tied to yours. Secondly, her reaction should redefine your friendship. Friendship like our lives should be continually examined.

      Delete
    6. Please tell her now and be equally intentional about your shared journey. Intensify the prayers for her. Send her more suggestions. Make it very obvious that you are rooting for her. Also, examine the reaction.

      Delete
    7. Poster...congratulations on your pregnancy. You will carry the pregnancy safely and deliver safely IJN.
      See,I have been ttc for 8 years now and in that time,my friends and acquaintances that we were ttc together have gotten pregnant and had therir babies. Infact,I am an admin of a pregnancy loss group and everyone woman who has gone on to have her baby after a loss has been like a personal victory for me. I know God will do mine in due season and because of that faith,I am always genuinely happy for other women whom God ahs answered.
      What I have not liked are those women who once they do they get pregnant,they start hiding it from me because they say they don't want to hurt my feelings. How? Are you God that gives children? Why would I be hurt because God has answered you when I know that he will answer me too?
      Pls go ahead and tell your friend that God has answered you while encouraging her to remain steadfast because hers would be next. You would injure her more if you hide your pregnancy and let her find out later.

      Delete
  2. This is dicey I swear..

    For now, just keep it to ursef and wait for some time and whenever you tend telling her, u should let her know that, u never knew u were pregnant if not, it might look like you are hiding things from her.


    Goodluck

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This and every single time is when we should seek the counsel of God

      Delete
  3. Please tell her! Put it gently and tell her. While at it, encourage her, cry with her if she cries, pray with her, make jokes to lighten up the mood and maybe give her some pointers about what you did, ate, drank etc.
    Please tell her if you truly call her a friend.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. sandra I agree with you , poster go ahead and tell her, be soft about it.

      Delete
    2. Thank you Sandra

      Delete
    3. Poster i agree with Sandra.
      Pls update us oh
      Congrats
      Pray for us who are still ttc, its not an easy journey.

      Delete
    4. Thank you Sandra. Nothing to add...

      Delete
    5. This! πŸ‘ŒπŸ‘ŒπŸ‘Œ

      Delete
  4. Kindly tell her about it now than do it later. Let her know it was a difficult decision for you to take because you didnt know she would take it. Pray for her too and don't strain the friendship.

    ReplyDelete
  5. I think you should let her know. If she's your friend she'd be happy with you and celebrate with you and tap into your blessings. It's a thing to be happy about. I don't get why you'd even consider keeping it a secret from her.
    A testimony God has given...nawa ooo

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. A good friend will be happy for you. If she isn’t, then be careful!

      Delete
    2. If she is truly your friend, then she will see this and know its from you. Or are you saying you didn't introduce SDK blog to your friend? Really? Just tell her

      Delete
  6. Poster calm down, don't pressure yourself for nothing.
    It's too early to start announcing your pregnancy. What till about 3months then you can tell her, while waiting keep praying.
    Your friend will be fine, she's supposed to be happy for you, but don't tell her yet.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Since you guys are very close, pls tell her. If she has a clean heart, she will be happy for you. If you don't tell her now, and she finds out later, it will hurt her more.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Be prayerful...it's advisable not to say anything yet

    ReplyDelete
  9. She's your friend,you know the kind of person she is,but let me assure you ,she's going to be very hurt when she later found out later, she will think you don't trust her,she might even term it as you took her as evil person that will hurt your pregnancy,that thats why you kept it from her, anybody you don't trust,don't make friend with them, so if you can share your joy with your friend,so that she can see hope in her situation too,it means you guys are not friends,. This same thing happened to my neighbor, her friend got pregnant,she told her immediately,she was even mire happy than the pregnant one,guess what ,their kids are few months apart,she got pregnant almost immediately too, so you never can tell how your news can help to boost her faith too

    ReplyDelete
  10. Tell her if you want to
    You’re not her problem. If she’s the friend you think she is, she’ll be happy for you. Many people wait for 3 months to tell anyone. But it’s up to you

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. ‘You are not her problem’ here in your statement is really unnecessary in my opinion.
      Sista Jane.

      Delete
    2. 15:18 I meant it sincerely
      If I’m going through something, your success or failure at it is not my problem
      Share your Goodnews if you want

      Delete
  11. Don't tell her yet, tell her after the 1st tremester. If she's a good friend she should be happy for you and the Lord will bless her too. Concerning the selfie and hanging out you can reduce it so she won't suspect and start feeling bad. I pray for strength for her

    ReplyDelete
  12. I think you should tell her you are pregnant when you see each again. Not telling until you started showing or she finding out herself will be more painful to her.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Wait till u hit ur second semester then u can tell her. Everyone knows this is when people tell people they want to tell about their pregnancy but pls don't keep it away from her and also approach the topic calmly. I can remember when I told my TTC friend that I was pregnant, she was so ecstatic and started tapping from me oh. Four months later, she became pregnant too.

    I hope she genuinely feels happy for u tho. If I have a friend, I want to be able to share in ur pain and joy and I also expect same from u. That's just me.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Congratulations poster
    I don’t know what to advice
    I pray her own testimony comes soon
    Merryment

    ReplyDelete
  15. If she is a good person,you can tell her before it starts showing.Some of my friends told me as soon as they got pregnant and we went through the journey together.
    Infact three of them told me the gender and their due date.we prayed together and I never wished them bad.
    I even followed one of them to labour room twice.
    If your friendship is for real,I don't think,this should be a problem.
    May you carry your baby to term and deliver safely in Jesus name.
    May the Lord remember your friend and every TTC family in this month of fruitfulness in Jesus name.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Congratulations to you.
    I see you guys are very close and you see and go out together often.
    You can just message her ‘God has done it sis, you are next in line in Jesus name. Thats all.
    A friend’s good news can never make one feel sad. Waiting till you start showing can send a weird signal since you guys are friends that share happy and sad moments with each other.
    Except you have a personal conviction why you would not want to share with anybody.
    Sista Jane

    ReplyDelete
  17. Pls tell her, nothing will happen to your pregnancy.. if you tell her later it would make matter worse

    ReplyDelete
  18. Please tell her and use it as a point of contact to reach also. she will feel bad yes and will get over it. i remember when I was TTC along side my friend, she got pregnant and hid it from me until i discovered it myself. it affected our friendship till date and made me not to be open to her in a personal matter

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  19. Follow your heart and do the needful mbok

    ReplyDelete
  20. Tell her if she's a good friend like you said, she'll be happy for you.Encourage and pray for her also. If you hide it from her till when the pregnancy starts showing she'll be hurt.

    ReplyDelete
  21. Poster you will tell her but please do not tell her now. Just wait when the pregnancy progress more then you can tell her but if she finds out before you get to 3 or 4 months just tell her you wanted to be sure of it before announcing it.

    Well no matter how or when you tell her she will feel bad except she falls pregnant right now. Keep praying for her and encourage her too. God will do it for her as he did your own.

    ReplyDelete
  22. Please tell her.

    ReplyDelete
  23. Since you guys are very close, I think you should tell her in kind and lovely way that wonderful hurt her feelings. If she should find out herself it will really hurt her feelings. Remember her in your prayers too.

    ReplyDelete
  24. Congrats on your pregnancy. It's usually advisable to wait 12-13 weeks before telling people as risk of miscarriage has reduced a lot. I personal wait 7-8 weeks before telling my mum then another other person 12 weeks. In fact my next pregnancy I'm not telling anyone except close family. If you see me that's my own announcement.

    ReplyDelete
  25. Elizabeth that was Mary’s cousin did not say anything to Mary until angel Gabriel broke the news to Mary about Elizabeth’s pregnancy… meanwhile Elizabeth was already 6months gone ooo still she did not say anything. So relax. Tell her later and let her know that you honestly have been battling with the decision due to her ttc as well…but honestly pray about it before you proceed.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. What are u saying,was Mary and Elizabeth friends?

      Delete
    2. 🀣🀣🀣🀣@Mrs. Sharon. Chai

      Delete
    3. What is this??🀦Mary and Elizabeth analogy. You guys here are funny.

      Delete
    4. πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ€£πŸ€£

      Delete
  26. In my opinion,I will prefer,you tell me.

    ReplyDelete
  27. Are friends not for good and bad times?
    As human with feelings,She will feel some type of way but will definitely get over it as time passes.
    It's good news,Share it with your friend that has been by you all this while.
    It will be very bad if she finds out on her own or you tell her later.

    Congrats on your bundle of joy.

    ReplyDelete
  28. She will be happy for you if you tell her. God will also answer her prayers and she will eventually be e a mother.

    ReplyDelete
  29. What if she's also pregnant and don't know how to tell you? πŸ€”

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  30. You said she is a friend . I don't use that word carelessly , so if she is one tell her. It's ok to feel sad about it, but encourage and pray with her. Her testimony is on the way too

    ReplyDelete
  31. It's wouldn't be fair if u didn't tell her..
    When I was ttcing my bestie has 2kids already and when she got pregnant for the 3rd she told me first even before her husband because I was calling to know whatup with the doc appointment,I was so happy and she was just praying for me,we prepared for the baby together,shops,wash, choose a name,she had two more before God finally answered me and when I told her she was just crying and rolling on the floor,I couldn't even hold the joy,I needed someone to rejoice with me.
    Think about if she finds out she is pregnant today won't she tell u?how will u feel if she kept it from u?if u didn't it will hurt her more,like she is a witch that will eat ur baby..

    ReplyDelete
  32. Tell her now and encourage her that god will also do her own and that you like both of you to continue the prayer and selfie if she knows later you are not a true friend after all you are not the one who impregnated yourself and you are both not been fuck by the same man,so let her know now

    ReplyDelete
  33. Please tell her now, so what ever it is, good or bad be sorted out. If you keep it your conscience will disturb you and if she too, took in without telling you. You wouldn’t be happy. Say it and set yourself free.

    SHYLA

    ReplyDelete
  34. Normally drs say wait till 3 months before announcing. If you are not superstitious wait till 3 months. If you are you can wait till 4 or 5 but she will probably suspect and even be more hurt. No one outside your family needs to know before 3 months so you have time

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It’s not doctors that say they
      What’s their own

      Delete
    2. Which doctor tells you to wait three months before you announce? Make una sofri oh!

      Delete
  35. Congratulations poster. I think you should tell her

    ReplyDelete
  36. It is not your place to determine or think for her about how she will handle 'your good news'!!!!!!!!!

    Hang out with her and freaking tell her already!!!!!!

    I am not yet married but my besties and junior cousins who are younger call me with excitement to share their good news that they are getting married and I rejoice with them.

    Tell her now!!!!! Sometimes, trust your friends and their emotional strength to deal with your good news. One of you was definitely going to get pregnant first, even if by one day.

    Quick story: One time my friend was head over heels in love with a guy, but he wasn't so into her. They were involved but not really dating, then things fell apart. She told me about the guy, but I never met him. Much later, someone told me he wanted to hook me up with his single friend, I agreed, it turned out to be this my friend's love, the guy got to even know that she knew me and asked her about me, she told him I was a good girl. When I got to know the guy had been in my friend's life in the past,, I asked her if she was fine with me dating him, she said yes, but that if we are getting married, she wouldn't attend and that I shouldn't gist her about the guy. We agreed. The guy never ruined our friendship at all. Though I ended up not dating him sha.

    My point is that openness and honesty help your friendship.

    You can even ask your friend if she will like to accompany you to one of your appointments and you don't need to share pregnancy pictures, just your normal hanging out pictures once once.

    She knows you have one child and she had no issue with that, is it now you have a second child that wahala will start?

    ReplyDelete
  37. Normally, people keep pregnancy news until much later, even from families (don't know why though).
    So, you might as well keep the news until later, then you can tell her.
    It could even be that she's equally conceived. Congratulations all the same.

    ReplyDelete
  38. Tell her after you have passed your first trimester. Wishing you safe delivery.

    ReplyDelete
  39. Please wait till you pass the first trimester.

    ReplyDelete
  40. I feel bad for TTC women. People would be scared of sharing good news with you as if you're a witch that won't be happy for them.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This applies to male and female genders. When some friends get blessed or achieve worked results, they just assume their friends will be jealous or feel bad at their blessings or success.

      Delete
  41. She is your friend right,both of you are trying,let say she got pregnant before you and hid it for you for a while,if you found out how would you feel.answer the question sincerely,then do to others as you would want others to do to you.if you are scared of bad belle, as they say trust no one, always pray for her whenever you are praying,pray that God will do hers, that way if she plans anything evil,it won't work.

    ReplyDelete
  42. Pls wait till the pregnancy is 3 months.medically thats when youre past miscarriage although its not always garanteed.when u do tell her, explain u wanted to get past that stage before sharing.And ur friendship would defnately be affected positively or negatively

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You can tell before 3 months
      If you suffer a miscarriage you simply tell her that too

      Delete
    2. You’re not past miscarriage at 3 months please. One can miscarry in the 2nd trimester. One can also have a stillborn. Many things can go wrong anytime

      Delete
  43. Please let her know,but not too soon... some people discovered they're pregnant after two months.tell her and also give her some suggestions and procedures you think can help her too and which you also did, encourage her also.

    ReplyDelete
  44. Tell her through SMS or via chat that you are expecting, you won't notice any change of mood through that. Then when you see each other, if she says anything about it, it's okay and if not no problem

    ReplyDelete
  45. I've been in this situation. In my case, I was the TTC (3+years) my friend hid it from me and told everybody else. I was so hurt when I found out, because we were quite close.she said she didn't want me to feel bad and I couldn't understand why I shouldn't be happy for my friend. I got pregnant some months later and didn't tell her too till I gave birth. Na photoshoot she see for social media. I know she felt hurt too, but first to do no dey pain. It's safe to say our relationship has broken down. Please tell her. I'm sure she would be happy for you

    ReplyDelete
  46. Please tell her. Don't wait e ger why.

    ReplyDelete
  47. You are suppose to be that woman's friend and confidant. I don't know what we mean when we say someone is our friend. She is your friend and is expected to share your good and bad times.
    Being TTC is not a disease. Children comes from God. Do to others what you expect them to do to you. Just imagine how you will feel if your friend told you she is pregnant after three months. This life sha

    ReplyDelete
  48. If you consider her a friend you will tell her. if shes not happy for you then shes not your friend, life is turn by turn if she dont recognise that then its her problem.

    ReplyDelete
  49. Dear poster, the fact that you're concerned about her feelings show that you're a great friend.
    Ps I'll advise that you tell her because both of you were prayer partners and your answer arrived first. It will be wrong not to share before you start showing.
    This post reminds me of when one of my besties in uni was about to get hitched. She was so coded about it and had a different attitude during the wedding. Our relationship went back to normal after her 2nd anniversary.
    If you value the relationship tell her, her reaction will determine the importance of the relationship going forward .

    Mummy Meghan

    ReplyDelete
  50. I had a friend who TTC for about 3 yrs before she had her first child. Guess what I was the first person she told after her hubby immediately she missed her period. I was so happy for her that we literally carried the pregnancy together.
    Even when she gave birth her hubby called to tell it was like I gave birth too. I visited her at the hospital after close of work and rain beat me shege that day. That same year I got married fortunately for me I got pregnant but didn't know how to say it to close pple even my mum I couldn't tell I don't know y ooo.
    Even my brides maid were all surprised I gave birth 6 months after wedding cos I was busy changing clothes in their presence. I felt bad that this my particular colleague would be angry with me but she wasn't rather she was happy how lucky I was to be pregnant. After one yr after I gave birth to my first I got pregnant for my second as usual I didn't tell anyone untill belle announce itself. She also understood and was saying that is how I behave with pregnancy when someone confronted me.
    Some pple heart re so good that they might not reason like other.
    Do whatever your hrt wishes she will understand. All the best to you and your family.

    ReplyDelete
  51. Tell her at 3 months..If u don't tell her till you are showing she might feel hurt ..I ttc'd for 7years, I was never hurt when my friends got pregnant, on the 8yr I got pregnant and I carried 1 of ttc' friend along..I told her at 12weeks. She was happy. Her child is coming soon by God's grace. Plus when I was ttc if u don't tell me u are pregnant, if u like be 40weeks I am blind...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Must someone tell you she is pregnant. Are you responsible for the pregnancy? Pregnancy announces itself so why must I tell you anything. That your last statement Is a very wicked thing to do.

      Delete
  52. If she were your blood sister what would you do, then you must tell her, if I were the one ehn and I find out on my own, il be hurt.

    ReplyDelete
  53. Did I write this?
    Same situation, same circumstances, prayer partner, fellow believer and all.
    Please tell her, encourage her faith. Be humane about it, say you had really wanted both of you to be pregnant together but you know hers is coming shortly. There is no easy way about it, but if she finds out on her own, you will feel even worse.

    ReplyDelete
  54. If she is a good friend,she will not take any offence or feel indifferent. Just tell her now

    ReplyDelete

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