Stella Dimoko Doctor Freaks Journal - "Thou Shalt Not Drink!"


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Saturday, November 26, 2022

Doctor Freaks Journal - "Thou Shalt Not Drink!"

Some years back, I had the privilege of sharing some bottles with an uncle who had just returned from one of the Holy Lands.

Uncle had missed his favourite "Trophy" (Ile┼ča must pay for this advert oh) and in his usual element he was willing to wine and dine us (note, NOT dine and with WITH(sic) us) and who are we to turn down this golden offer?

Uncle loves beer! 

On his way from Nigeria to his destination, the best he could get was wine and he is not a great fan of wine so he just had a little bottle or two and he was not so excited all through the journey. He arrived at the Holy Land safely and was taken straight to his hotel, only for him to quickly find out that alcohol was not on the "menu list!" He was heartbroken, to say the least. Day 2 came, he grudgingly followed the rest of the team to some of the Holy Sites. Trust me, that didn't excite him. 

The trip was a short one and he returned to his hotel room in good time. He was "thirsty" but all the people around him looked too "holy" for the kind of question he'd been meaning to ask and he really needed to ask a reliable person that germane question.

 Shortly after, he was in luck!

 He ran into a man who looked "familiar," not because they had met before but he had this look of a man who had just discovered a great treasure on his plantation.

 Uncle summoned up the courage to approach him to ask him that burning question and behold, he wasn't wrong. He had never been. His newfound buddy had just discovered a "coded" pub! They both trekked back to the pub like two young lovers and rest assured that they had a good time.
Uncle and his buddy practically abandoned their "pilgrimage" and became regulars at that pub. The pilgrimage came to an end and it was time to return home. 

This time around Uncle sighted some cans of a foreign canned beer aboard the flight and I'm sure you can imagine a vivid picture of the smile on his face now. He gladly "befriended" the air hostess who ensured constant supply of beer from that Holy Land back to Nigeria.

In an unrelated event, a friend recounted the story of an uncle of his who was on the same flight (first class) with a very big 'GO' of one of the biggest churches in Nigeria and they got into a conversation in the course of the flight.

 Uncle wanted champagne but GO was around. He wanted the champagne so badly but he didn't want Baba to see him as a bad boy. The battle within continued for some minutes until he was able to summon up courage and mutter "can I have THAT DRINK?" Afterall, he didn't mention the name. Eventually the air hostess served him some champagne and he was looking at Baba from the corner of his eye. Behold, Baba just smiled and ignored him, afterall he is an adult.

Back to Qatar and the World Cup.

Qatar, you don't move the goalposts after agreeing to liberalise your country at the time of bidding now. Haba! Did I hear you mutter "bribery?" Na wah oh.
In any event, if you're in Qatar for the World cup, trust me, there are ways around these things but make sure you don't get caught .....


  1. Lol. Interesting read. Some people are actually addicted to alcohol. I drink too but it's occasionally.

  2. No dull yaself.

  3. For my villa they guzzle beer like minerals! Choi!

  4. Very interesting write-up, it was also very funny. It was at the end I realised you are talking about the ban of alcohol in the world Cup competition in Quatar.

  5. This got me thinking if this is how bad alcohol addiction can get, to think it can even get worse than...
    As for world Cup, I just sight my people watching, I'm not following them.

  6. You see that trophy beer eh! I must drink am o. Like that's the high point of my day. Oh man!
    I dont give a crap for whiskey, gin or any other form of liquor but trophy beer? I actually stay faithful to my particular brand of beer.
    I love beer!


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