Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative - UPDATE.

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Monday, December 12, 2022

Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative - UPDATE.

Na wah oh....






Hey Stella,


I'm the BV that commented a year+ ago that my husband called me a whore and then later that I was healing from the physical assault that resulted in months of physical therapy and my decision to divorce him. 

Well, after a long and horrible year, we have finally reached a divorce settlement. This man, hid who he really was from me and my family for years before we got married and then during the marriage, often gaslighting me to the point that I questioned whether certain things truly happened the way that I remembered. His true self came out during the marriage. 

Constant put downs, emotional abuse, and then physical abuse. I ran from one counselor to another and from one priest to another, including the priest who married us. Nothing seemed to work. He never wanted to put in the consistent work to salvage our marriage. I wasn't a perfect wife, but I tried for him and truly gave it my all. He wasn't willing to prioritize the family that we created (leave and cleave) and couldn't protect or love me as a husband should. 

Anyways, the physical abuse was the last straw for me. During our separation even more of his dark and twisted colors started to surface. He did so many terrible things to me AND TO OUR CHILD that I couldn't believe that I married such a person. 

There were no red flags before marriage (Nigerians like to ask about this), except for his enmeshment with his family of origin. Long story short, I was able to prove to the court that he was unfit to have 50% custody of our child. When he realized that he wouldn't get that, he started to focus on the money. From the beginning, I told my lawyer that I wouldn't fight him over money (guess I'm not the gold-digger his family accused me of being).

 In the marriage he tried using financial intimidation to try to control me, so I knew that he wouldn't budge much on money. I just wanted primary custody of my child and I got it. He got to keep most of his money, including money he stole from my account. I didn't care. I am a well-educated woman and will be more than able to provide for my child whether he decides to contribute or not. In the end, he was so angry about things. 

He even tried to fight over paying me for extracurricular activities for our child. This is a man who brings in more than $20K monthly, arguing over $200 dance classes for his child. My eyes had never been more open to the wickedness of man. It was a terrible experience but I am happy that I have my daughter majority of the time. I'm happy that he is no longer legally my husband (will work on the annulment in the Church early next year). 

Having peace is priceless. He can keep his money. My child is priceless.

Moving forward, I just want to focus on my child's total wellbeing, my career, and my health. I'm not bitter about the end of my marriage. I loved him sincerely and still love him, not only as the father of my child but also as a child of God, and I have comfort in knowing that I tried my best.


 I realize now that he has some sort of mental illness that has been left undiagnosed by professionals and unaccepted by him. I pray for him daily and I hope that he gets the help that he needs to be a good father to our child and a better husband to his future wife. I know that he will remarry quickly and I pray that whoever the woman is treats my child well. That's all that I can hope for. For myself, I pray for complete healing of my heart and, if it is God's will, for a man who will love and value me and who would be a great step-dad to my child. 


Again, divorce won't break me. I will take the necessary time to heal. I have a great support system of family and friends. There's better in store for me. I thank God that I am free from him. I just pray that he complies with the terms of our agreement without any drama.



Congrats on your new status and having your Kid with you.... I am sure love will find you again.

43 comments:

  1. All I can say is congratulations. May God continue to see you through

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    Replies
    1. Poster, based on what you wrote, if true, may God Almighty surprise you with a good man. Amen.

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  2. Replies
    1. Congratulations.
      The most important thing is that you're on the road to healing and love will find you.

      Delete
  3. Congratulations. Wishing you all the joy, peace and comfort necessary to forge ahead

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  4. Congrats on taking this step.i am sure it wasnt an easy decison or year but like u said, Peace of mind over evrything.

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  5. Congratulations dear,I love your positive spirit,it's well with you

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  6. πŸ€—πŸ€—πŸ€—

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  7. Congrats, it not easy when u married a demon

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  8. Congratulations. Pls can someone post the link to the previous chronicle

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Should be this..

      https://www.stelladimokokorkus.com/2022/05/chronicle-of-blog-visitor-narrative_0978228466.html?m=1

      @MARTINS

      Delete
    2. Please let that kind of monster not come to single and mingles o. Let him find his kind.😭

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    3. @Martins that is not the chronicle.

      Delete
    4. Anon 19:07 his parents will find the perfect match for their son.

      Delete
  9. Please post the original link.

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  10. Thank God for you. I wish you all the best going forward.

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  11. Aww baby come take a hug. Heal and focus on yourself and child lines will fall for you in pleasant places πŸ’‹πŸ˜˜

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  12. I wish you had him prosecuted for the assault. Thank God for your life.

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  13. Congrats. Question - "My child"? Isnt he also a parent (irrespective of your differences) to the child? Why is the child suddenly only yours?

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    Replies
    1. Semantics. Rest

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    2. There are other instances when she says “his child”. Please go and count and tally the numbers since it bothers you.

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    3. lwkmd anonymous 22:28 they should go and count oh...some people are so funny, they wont read and assimilate na to dey ask jamb question...

      Delete
  14. What a wonderful Christmas present for you and your child. Starting 2023 with freedom and peace has to feel good. Enjoy your good fortune. All the best to you and your child. Nothing is sweeter than peace of mind and a living in a place of peace.

    He will be angry and hateful for a while, still be on your guard. Be aware of your surroundings and where you go. If he doesn't need to know your address do not share it. If he is taking your child for weekends put an invisible recording device in your child's bag. Give your child a simple flip phone without internet access so they can call for help if feeling unsafe.

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  15. I am sorry for everything you suffered and endured at the hands of this person.
    Well done for choosing yourself and for choosing peace. You deserve to be with someone whose love is pure and not merely a front for abuse and emotional torture.
    No, divorce cannot break you. You are already an overcomer for choosing freedom.
    Everything good will come to you.
    Wish you all the best.

    ReplyDelete
  16. So after 95 comments from your previous chronicle you still went on to have a child with this mentally sick being? Ain’t you scared your child may inherit the mental illness? Or you think only stds and co are transmitted.? Hmm

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Is it not obvious that the child came BEFORE the chronicle was written?

      Delete
  17. Congratulations to you.
    I pray God grants you your heart desiresπŸ’ž

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  18. Well done. Your mind set and acceptance of how things have played out will help you with the healing process. He will try to destabilize your peace of mind, because he will be angry that you are not suffering as much as he would like you to suffer. Stand firm and enjoy your peace of mind, stressless sleep and not walking on egg shells. Now you will appreciate the true meaning of Peace. God be with you and your little one. You will be fine! Best days are ahead of you.

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  19. God is with you poster.am glad you were able to pull out successful and you are happy again.marriage is so important,it's a must we pray before going into you.

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  20. Sorry about what you went through Sis, sometimes what is meant to be is meant to be no matter how you try to avoid it. Thank God everything is over now, those dark silent nights and days are over now. May God stand with you and give you all the strength you need both mentally, physically and financially to forge ahead and take proper care of your precious kid.

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  21. πŸ€— πŸ₯° Everything will be OK. You will be fine, OK?

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  22. Ehugs dear. All will be well. Time will heal all wounds.

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  23. Congratulations, I keep telling people divorce is not the worst thing in the world, I was divorced too and remarried after healing . Before my divorce with my ex, life was miserable, the kids were miserable too, cos I never get to do anything with them. I’m constantly locked up in my room If my ex and I happen to be at home same time, my kids endured shit from me cos I was constantly yelling at them transferring all that unhappiness . The divorce changed everything, I became happy again, and they too cos they now get the best of me, my ex wanted to continue his toxicity but I kept my face front and only relate with him on issues concerning the kids.I clearly stayed away from any argument and no hostility or bitterness from my end while dealing with him I totally blocked all of his negative and toxic energy from me and the kids. Like your ex, I let him keep his money,I didn’t request for anything as long as I’m free of him. He has fallen in line and now doing his duty by the kids. I kept the positive happy self for myself and kids and and we healed and it is always I love you mom, you are the best.

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    Replies
    1. Aww God bless you for choosing you and your kids

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  24. Sorry to say this, but their is always a sign, but we choose most times to ignore it cause of love..
    Little things we normally ignore in a relationship,abuse,( coming out saying is a joke), threatening words, ( coming out saying is a joke), being in love you will not see these signs as a red flag.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You do realize that some people are master manipulators? They can hide their true selves very well. Don't say what you don't know.

      Delete

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