Hmmm....
STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
PREGNANT BABY MAMA
I never knew I will face this kind of madness.
Stella my husband just got his baby mama pregnant again. It was him that confessed to me because the babymama is threatening to tell me. Marriage of 3yrs.
He admitted he messed up and has been begging. Personally I have thought of leaving but my elder sister advised me not to leave since he has been a good husband. What is wrong with some men? How best do I handle this?.
I am 7months pregnant with our first child. I knew this lady wanted my husband from the way she calls him and even made a friend in my compound. I pleaded with him to get another apartment when I noticed that lady frequently visits her friend in our compound but he refused, now he's the one begging let's move to another area. She knows he's married and she want to push me out by force. He said even if I leave I'm not leaving for her because he rather die than to marry her.
Why then did he allow her to mess our marriage, he claimed he doesn't know what came over him. We are married both traditional and in court . How do I start going to court for divorce process and all that. I love him and honestly don't want to leave but this is a situation I don't even know how to handle.
She's from Edo while I'm from Imo married to an Imo man. What's the guarantee I'll still have a peaceful marriage again. I also told my brother and he said whatever decision I take,he will stand by me but if he is truly sorry then I should forget about the babymama and stay in my marriage. That what if I marry another man and he cheats will I also leave?
He said that what if I did not discover till I'm 60, will I leave. Then and again he will always support any decision I take.
*Abeg forgive him and move on, it is a costly mistake but the hands of the clock cannot be turned backwards but it can move forward.....
Give him ONE MORE chance and if he tries this again, please leave, its a dogs behaviour and he can infect you with something if he goes around doing it without protection and baby daddying all over the place..
Forgive and give one more chance...
For now tell him to make plans for your people to move out of that house and area and then concentrate on the pregnancy so that you do not develop high blood pressure!
Omo what's wrong with men and being faithful in marriage. Chaii a kid on the way and a kid outside. So sad 😭
ReplyDeleteIt’s simple, but people don’t want to hear it but unfortunately, it is coming back to bite all of us, including me that is typing this now.
DeleteGod forbade fornication and premarital sex, but because we have so normalized it, if we preach about it they call us prudish. A man that didn’t fear God and couldn’t hold himself before he married you and was having sex with you always, what makes you think after he marries you he can hold himself and avoid having sex with other women he comes in contact with? He didn’t have the fear of God with you, he won’t have it with her too. So let’s try our best and atleast adjust in our little way. Sex is now nothing, and it is coming back to bite us, most ppl now, men and women have no self control and it starts in our single days then it transcends to our married days.
@15:36 God bless you for this write up. A pervert generation will suffer dysfunctional life. Sex is for married people, but will they ever hear! Thank God for those who still hold the word of God , as the standard for a stress free life. The transference of demonic spirits sef nor Dey fear people? Talk more of STDs! Poster, I will never marry a man with a baby Mama! Yes, I am almost 50 Is not even that the wife died, and he had a child , but you open your eyes to enter pit, in the name of marriage! She is your co- wife! Stop calling her Baby Mama!
DeleteAnon 15:36 you better don't waste your saliva. People will be pretending like they don't know If there was no fornication in the first place that there will be no side chicks stressing married women in marriages and all these adultery issues will exist and a post like this will not see the light of day. But preach against fornication which is the source of the problem the same people insulting the man for committing adultery will drag you and call you assistant Jesus, so who is fooling who?
DeleteBut we keep thinking we have more sense than God. God will say don't do this the next thing you will hear is, the body no be firewood, what am I supposed to do with the urge? Like they have heard that being celibate can cause sudden death
The poster husband had a baby mama which shows premarital sex is nothing to him. Honestly, that says a lot and reveals what to expect from him in the future. A man that God cannot control and subdue to his will, a man, that does not respect God to please him cannot respect you and control his private part for you. You are not special as God. If he doesn't fear God enough to be morally chaste then he won't do it for you. Okay People make mistakes but this one happening a second time can we call it a mistake?
To the ones fornicating with their boyfriends and fiances right now. You want to eat your cake and have it. Go and tell your boyfriends premarital sex is wrong and if they look at you like you are an alien you better run because such kinds will never see anything wrong with committing adultery either.
If a man is having premarital sex with you or he sees it as a norm just forget it he is more than likely to cheat on you after marriage, after all, it is just sex to him. Some might see no reason to cheat because you are close by but let's not pretend like when you are not around and they are horny the ones who fornicated and never practised self-control all their lives will wait for you rather than look for the available v******as long as it carries out the same purpose which is to give them instant relief they seek.
Spot on anon 15.36
DeleteDon't leave nwanne. Shame go catch that woman for thinking of breaking your home.
DeleteDrag your husband to your family, let him write will sharp sharp, open account for your kids,don't let him have access to the acct but he must deposit a stated amount every week.
Start saving
Always remind him of his iberibesm.
Know this, he will from time to time send money to the baby mama,, pay the child's school fees,
Hospital fees
Visit them, etc.
That was how my former boss impregnated his baby mama twice, madam didn't divorce him. All the man's property/money were in d hands of madam. The man later kpai.
Where is the baby mama now? Story for another day....
The audacity of some ladies in getting preggy for married men, you can walk away without letting any married man put you in such manner.
#myThought
😏😒🥴
DeleteWow am learning. I better stick to my Christian beliefs. It is well. Someone also explain the transfer of spirits. I keep hearing this. Someone explain oh 😩😩
Delete15:36God didnt forbid premarital sex. You think the Bible says that. You weren’t there when the Bible was written and there’s nothing about firnication in the Bible till after Jesus died and Paul wrote about it.
DeleteYou say sex is for only married people. So those that don’t marry or Marry much later are just to watch married ones have sex. Yeah right
Well, my old time hairdresser got married as a virgin and and has been cheated on through and through, she finally divorced and her husband put her through the wringer financially too. My cousin the same, she even got a sti from her cheating husband. I don't think abstaining from premarital sex guarantees that a spouse will not cheat. Cheating is a character driven flaw. Everyone will see the attractiveness in others even if they are married but not everyone will desire an outsider or be in lust and choose to act upon it.
DeleteA man who does not fear God will do anything. A man who loves and respect God is the one who will live a morally upstanding life.
@anon 18:09 apt. A man who fears God will live a morally upright life. Cheating is a character flaw. Instead of men to seek help from sex addiction recovery coaches, NOPE they don't. In Africa, Nigeria it is seen as a man's right. Men seek help. There are groups you can sign up to to change your out of control sexual behaviour.
DeleteFrom what the above comments read, no one said a woman being a virgin and abstaining from fornication is the key to a successful marriage! That is not even what this discussion is about.
DeleteYour first paragraph is not even close to what those commenters above you implied but thankfully at last you finally repeated the point of their message in your last paragraph. Your last paragraph was the whole summary of their comments and not women who married as virgins.
Fine there are virgins who are married to cheats meanwhile thousands who married as virgins are enjoying their marriages.
I am my friends are living examples same as Bv Yvonne I think this is only possible where both partners have the same belief. Now imagine a world where the whole society have the same belief(both the men and women) And that is the point of the whole message.
They are simply saying any man who doesn't see anything wrong with fornicating will hardly see anything wrong with adultery after marriage. That's all.
After all The virgins or celibate women (your hairdresser and your cousin)did not go out to cheat their husbands did.
Of course, if you get married as a virgin but had to convince your partner to wait with you and he waited because you enforced it and not necessarily because he believes fornication is a sin then he definitely won't see anything wrong with cheating after marriage. I believe those were the cases of the women in your story. They believed in sexual purity but their men did not. Those men probably were cheating during courtship while the ladies waited alone till marriage. It takes two to tango. Were those men virgins or celibates as well? There you have your answer.
17:32, you asked a question in your last paragraph.
DeleteWhatever answer you give to the question I will ask you below is the right answer to your question in your last paragraph.
They are women who aren't married but advanced in years. No husband is forthcoming for them and time is no longer on their side. They do not have money for IVF nor adoption will you advice they stay childless or use the cheapest method which is, to get pregnant for another woman's husband like the poster? Will you advice they sleep with another woman husband if no husband is in reach or do you expect them to stay like so as not to hurt an innocent woman's marriage? will call them a sinner for sleeping with a married man? Or call the man who helped them become a mother an adulterer?
People only seek help when they feel they have a problem. Most cheating men don't see themselves as having any problems. They see themselves as enjoying life, some think they are smart, others are repping with their fellow guys, some genuinely think it is their right as men. Most of them lose focus, mess up themselves and their families. The children usually bear the brunt of their misdemeanours. But the sad thing is that people are becoming even more promiscuous by the day, in spite of the horrible glaring consequences. Nothing like a man or woman who truly fears God (I'm not talking about church goers, or mosque attendees), or a man or woman who has values they protect. That is why it is important not to be unequally yoked. Also when you see the red flags, japa!
DeleteAt anon 18:58 🙇🙇🙇🙇.
DeleteIt takes two to tango. The same thing my mom has been screaming at us. Get someone who has the same beliefs as you. It reduces stress.
Sadly, cheating means a man needs to seek help. He can't do it on his own. He needs a recovery coach, a recovery community, accountability partners and 2 years for his brain to rewire. I finally see what my Mon says, whatever bad thing you've not learnt in your youth, don't near or dip your end
Delete*don't dip your hand into it.
Delete17:32, i am 15:36, you see that is the problem, i can safely conclude that you indulge in pre marital sex from the defence you put up there. I was not there when the bible was written neither were you. Afterall what do i even know? I am a Muslim and the Qura’an strictly forbids premarital sex. But let me shock you, i went to a catholic school, so i can say i have a faint memory who Christain teaching, it was always taught that sex is for married people and God doesn’t like sexual immorality, if for every boyfriend you have, you have sex with him, before you finally settle down imagine how many sex partners you would have had, if that isn’t sexual immorality i do not know what is.
DeleteSecondly, if sex before marriage is ok according to you, then why do those that engage in it feel guilty afterwards? Let me further burst ur bubble, there is no religion in the world that applauds sexual immorality. Yes we are humans, we may fall short of the laws of God but that doesn’t mean it is right. So the only problem i have with your comment, is you trying to justify premarital sex. If you do it fine, do it and know it is a sin, but don’t mislead people pls.
I come in peace.
Thank you anon 15:36. God bless you for this truth.
DeleteAnon 18:36 A man who fears God will live a morally upright life "before" and "after"marriage. With the help of the holy spirit, he would have mastered the act of self-control needed for his marital journey... not someone having indiscriminate sex all through his singlehood then after marriage suddenly being expected to act like a Saint and not engage in extramarital sex.
Anon 17:32 if there is nothing wrong with fornication then there is nothing wrong with adultery. It is called Adultery simply because you sleep with a woman who is not your wife or a man who is not your husband. But you seem to forget that even in fornication the person you are sleeping with is neither your wife nor your husband too. In both instances the person you sleep with is not married to you so why is adultery a sin to you and fornication okay? Isn't that hypocrisy? Imagine a guy who suddenly got married and was told he must not have sex with any other woman except his wife meanwhile he slept with all his ex-girlfriends who weren't his wife. Except God arrests him after marriage you are speaking bollocks.
Anyone can get cheated on. Whether you wrap yourself in burlap bags and bury yourself in a hole and only unwrap yourself upon marriage. A man could show himself as a living saint second to none and still cheat, make an outside family, or walk out on their family. Ain't nothing a woman can do to ensure any specific outcome in their life . Everyone who thinks they have the formula and the for sure solution better think again. Many who think they are sleeping next to a saint may be shocked to find out what they are truly sleeping next to. If you think lack of premarital sex will guarantee you anything then by all means run with it. But at least have a backup plan just in case.
DeleteNo one above is saying not having premarital sex or being a virgin will prevent you from being cheated upon by your husband. Where is the sense in that?
DeleteHow can a woman's morality uphold a man who lacks scruples? That's why there are some celibate women and virgins who ended up marrying cheats because they married a man who doesn't see anything wrong with sexual sins. Check around you, most men who engage in fornication and relentlessly want to have a virgin for a wife going about talking down on their fellow sexually active women are the most promiscuous. What do you think will happen if a celibate woman has the misfortune of marrying some of them? Won't they still go out and cheat on her? So both men and women need to have the true fear of God.
The main crux of the matter is when men also have the same high moral standard, true fear of God and loathe immoral sins by living a life of sexual purity before marriage all these kinds of chronicles will cease to exist. Whether we like to believe it or not, those kinds of men exist who truly fear God exists and there are women married to them with one-of-a-kind marriages. These women never get cheated upon and will never get cheated on by these men no matter how others imagine it for them. So the opinion that anyone can get cheated on doesn't apply to these wives.
Most men are ready and entitled to get down with you before marriage knowing fully well you are not their wife yet after marriage women turn around and ask why these same men go out to have sex with other women who are not their wives. When you have helped ingrained it in them that a woman does not have to be their wife before they can get to sleep with her when they fornicate with you.
Agreed some men pretend to be saints but It is apparent that the posters up there are not talking about such men but the real ones who truly have the fear of Christ whereby it is evident in their daily lives except you believe those men don't exist as large as this world is, or you think they are married to themselves only then will the whole idea of such a man springing up a whole family on his wife ever make sense to you, to begin with.
A man who fornicates before he married you is a million times more likely to spring up a whole family on you than a man who kept himself till marriage. A case in point is this poster's husband.
If you are celibate please marry your kind else you might end up be used as a statistic and being classified as one of those virgins being maltreated by their cheating husbands.
DeleteHe is only apologizing cos the lady is pregnant. I can bet they were fucking back to back.
ReplyDeleteHe will still go back to her and they will continue codedly.
Moving out of that house doesn't change anything. A dog will always be a dog.
Don't be surprised when he tells you about baby number 3.
Start planning for yourself and your future
Save and Invest like no tomorrow
He is only patronizing you by saying he won’t marry her even if you leave and is only sorry cus he got caught
DeleteNo one can tell you if you should go or not except you weigh your pros and cons but whatever you do be healthy for your child, also save as much as you can for yourself and your children
Wish you luck cus that woman would be in your lives forever
Push up (original)
Thank you @pheizzles and @push up. That man knows what he is doing. In his mind. He is married to two of them. They are competing for his love. The guy is eating his cake and having it. Pack out and watch that baby mama pack in. Stay and have her in your marriage forever.
DeleteDid u say again? So that’s baby no 2?? I am so sorry. I can’t imagine the emotional turmoil u are going through.
DeleteOf course prizzles. It wasn't a one-off sexual encounter that got her pregnant. He had a wife at home and wanted to turn his baby mama into his side chick for extra sexual pleasure on the side. She probably felt spiteful and outsmarted him by planning a whole baby on him.
DeleteThe poster husband is a very wicked man, a big time user and greedy being. You made a woman a baby mama went ahead and married someone else for reason best known to you. The fact that he is married and she is still single to stupor is enough to get her mad but the sex freak still went back to that scorned woman and started using her to quench body after deciding she is not good enough to be his wife and you think she will be happy hiding in the background just as a sex tool? She is ready to bring your marriage to the ground your husband already gave her the tractor .
That baby mama will always be in your space, she will always finger your marriage, you have to develop thick skin and stay, or leave. Your choice.
ReplyDeleteThat’s if the man agrees. People divorce with plenty kids and still move, not to talk of person wey dem no marry at all.
DeleteBaby mama pregnant again? Madam he is just sweettalking you, the way he plays &sweet talks her and i feel he will still go back to her, just more careful with his movements. Last last she will always be in your space. Luckily its just her and not random hookups upanddaan.
DeleteHmm marriage is too young o and you are expecting, so try and get to know her. Frenemy, if you may, and make sure she doesnt sleep around, is clean of std (not a hoe) and blives in using condom etc.
I cant type too much but you may be surprised from the results of that approach.
The Deep
If you want to forgive him , forgive him but not easily. Make him regret his actions and actually repent truthfully. If not , sorry is your name going forward, you go eat better shit
ReplyDeleteHe’d rather die than marry her but he’s been sleeping with her.
ReplyDeleteThis hurts terribly, it hurts.
If I were you, I’d leave now for my health’s sake and that of my baby.
He’ll keep sleeping with his baby mama but he’ll definitely up his game.
What were the circumstances surrounding him and baby mama before you married him?
Getting her pregnant again is no mistake.
Sluttychic.
Exactly. This man will so.mess her mind in this marriage. Wicked and manipulative man.
DeleteWhy are some men like this
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry you are going through this
Do what suits you and what you feel is best for your unborn child
Jums
He says he"ll rather die than marry he, yet he got her pregnant. Some men sha. Poster, please follow Stella's advice.
ReplyDeleteNot just got her pregnant. Again!! So this is the second child. Chai we women Dey see something o
DeleteJust as how he got her pregnant he could have brought home something deadly to you. I despise infidelity, but that he could have gotten involved with this woman who is always in the compound is beyond me. And yes, most cheating happens when a woman is pregnant. You said he got her pregnant again, does that means this will be the second child she has for him? If it is a second pregnancy then that is no mistake, it was intentional.
ReplyDeleteI am not sure why everyone is telling you to stay. Your sister is full of bullshit. How can he be a good husband and putting you through hell like this. The marriage is even young. For the sake of your mental and physical health, please make an empowering choice for yourself and unborn child. Always remember when any spouse have sexual relations outside of the marriage they have already spiritually divorced from the union. A marriage is far more than two bodies occupying the same space, the spiritual aspect of the union is deeper than it appears.
If you choose to forgive and start over what guarantee do you have that he will be loyal? If you give birth to a daughter and the outsider gives birth to a son how will that affect you and your child? Can you ever trust him again if you take him back? Do you have a plan if this happens again? Also look at your finances and longterm financial prospects. You have many questions to ask yourself. Apart from the humiliation you likely feel, you have to start thinking and securing some finances for yourself and the child. You have to be wise as a serpent and harmless as a dove.
Worse advise ever... Obviously this one dey hurt.
DeleteAbeg hurt alone!!!
I dont like baby daddy and their unending drama. 🙄😒😏
ReplyDeleteShout it. Especially this unrepentant baby daddy.
DeleteZaram I’m currently dating a divorcee with 3kids, are you saying his ex wife will be in his life 😳
DeleteBefore nko unless if the spouse is no more that's when you can be at peace and remarriage is valid.
Delete16:33livd your own life
DeleteNot every man is the same
16:33 the truth is they would forever be in each other’s life, whether u like it or not, for the sake of their kids but that doesn’t mean they would definitely have something sexual between them. They can just be cordial and respectful while co parenting
DeleteWhat will cost some people to stay faithful to their partners? You see that baby mama, she is not leaving anytime soon, she's probably one of those who believe they want to have their kids with one man, shouting his gene is good all around intentionally causing problems for innocent children. Selfish adults!
ReplyDeleteIt will still happen if she wants more kids from him.
Your husband wanted to eat his cake and have it but this one burn his tongue
I think I go with BVs view in the last weekend's post that single parents should marry each other because what on earth is this?
Felicity
Has he had this baby mama before you guys got hitched?
ReplyDeleteIf yes, why did he not marry her since their private parts are inseparable?
You dogband just wants to have his cake and eat it.
I stand with your brother, you alone know where the shoe hurts, you know the best choice for you and your unborn baby.
Keep emotions aside and think logically. All the best in the choice you make.
Must yall be married at the detriment of your health?
ReplyDeleteDon't know why this hurts me so much. Cheating is bad. But getting your baby man pregnant again while married to me?. Ah
DeleteZaram dear,its really heart breaking,plus poster is also pregnant 😭😫😩
DeleteYou want to leave your marriage for a stupid Edo girl. Who go lose at the long run. Everything is in your hands now. Use it wisely. You are the one calling the shot. Stand on your feet and put that girl in her place.
ReplyDeleteYour horseband you know what to do to him. Too many weakling that are called men. Foolish man that wants to scatter his marriage. Set boundaries with him.
Her marriage? She does not have a marriage. Two become one and the marriage bed must be undefiled but now they are three. The covenant has been broken. She can leave if she wants the husband has nullified the whole thing.
DeleteThe moment either the man or the woman steps out to commit adultery they are no longer one and the other partner is free from their marital vows. The marital cords no longer binds the faithful partner
@Yori darling Did you say stand on her feet and put a baby mama that has two children for her husband in her place?. A husband that had the guts to rent a house near him for his baby mama. Yes I am sure he rented the house. Imagine a baby mama that has the effontary to visit people in your compound. That guy has brainwashed both of them. He might even be secretly married to the baby mama. That baby mama pass this poster. She can't do anything to her.
DeleteThis matter dey pain me reach bone. What an arrant nonsense in the name of marriage.
At Anon 15:48, thanks for saying the truth ✌️
DeleteStupid Edo girl? Only people like you are irrational enough to insult people they have never met. The man went against his marital vows , not the baby mama. For the poster, what has Edo girl, Imo girl and Imo man got to do with your post. You are an ethnic warrior looking for sympathy from your Igbo sisters.
DeleteShe should stay there and continue calling the shots and very soon she would be popping Antiretrovirals for the rest of her life because of a useless husband that doesn’t even protect himself and his pregnant wife.
DeleteShey marriage is worth more than her life and health like this that she should not leave it for an Edo woman. Make she remain and continue exposing herself to myriad of diseases and spiritual contaminations which that husband will continue to expose her to.
Poster Hope you know HPV is the main cause of cervical cancer, and it’s a sexually transmitted disease, whatever decision you choose to take pls make sure you get vaccinated against it. Because that Baby mama is never leaving your marriage.
She should use his stupidity against him well.
DeleteThe drama of baby daddy/mama is what I hate.
if the 'Edo girl is stupid', then the Imo man is stupid and the wife too is stupid for marrying a stupid man that can't control his rod. sebi it makes more sense like this🙄
DeleteSleeping with her is enough for me
ReplyDeleteSleeping with her without protection, I’m surely OUT. I don’t play stupid games with my life and I don’t like people that do foolish things without wisdom.
Thank You
DeletePoster unless you’ve be lying to your people that he’s a good man if not I will say stay.
ReplyDeleteOne thing about babymamas sleeping with their married baby papa is that they can only succeed in breaking the home but the man will never marry them. Ask Toke ex husband babymama. Even if Annie decide to leave that marriage today 2baba will never marry his babymama because there’s a reason he left her in the first place.
A whole lot of men cheat, take this from someone that has worked as a receptionist in a hotel before. 99% of men that comes either come with a woman or come and will still go and carry ashawo. Some will lodge women in different rooms while they stay with their main girlfriend or wife in one room and be shuttling. Even toasting the receptionist on top.
I’m not supporting cheating but trust me if you leave today another woman will hurriedly move in but definitely not his baby mama. Look at the smally following Paul Okoye and I heard Peter is also doing krukere. Just focus on building yourself and giving birth to plenty kids while you enjoy your husband. Make sure all his properties are in your name. Na that babymama go remain perpetual babymama since she no get sense.
Fan Emmanuel
Fan. I sincerely don't believe this your post today. It's your opinion anyway. 99% of men don't cheat. Is Annie enjoying her marriage?. There is no enjoyment in this kind of marriage biko. You will always be on your toes. No trust.
DeleteThank you
DeleteThere’s no enjoyment in that kind of marriage especially if you are like me who doesn’t like to share, it will be forever heart ache
Can’t you see how Anne idibia breaks down every two market days, cus her heart hurts, please dear poster don't become a mad woman because of another man.
If you are not polygamous in nature you will find it very difficult, my advice remains saves lot of money like a lot cus you can’t continue like this.
The day you get tired, you bounce and look for true love, finish
Push up (original)
@ Pushup, I agree with you, she needs to be at alert and ready to exit if things get worse.
Delete@ Yori Yori, did you say have lots of kids? For an unstable philandering man with a child and a pregnant baby mama? Haven't we discussed on this blog about parents being more intentional about having kids. Na wa oh.
Push up Annie is only too emotional. She loves 2face more than her self and if not that she’s a celebrity, her type will always fight any woman she sees around her husband. 2face on the other hand has learnt his lesson, the reason he always stand by his wife anytime she goes mad. He has also not impregnated other women in a long time.
DeleteRemember me and you always support Chivido on this blog, are you saying Chioma will never be happy in her marriage? Or have you forgotten Davido got another woman pregnant while with Chioma.
If this man did it intentional,he would have planned with the babymama and she won’t be threatening to tell his wife. The man won’t even had opened up to his wife. People learn from their mistakes and move on. A lot of men won’t resist a free sex.
If he’s truly remorseful I think poster should forgive him.
Fan Emmanuel
These are two different situations
DeleteAnnie doesn’t want to share, she doesn’t know how to off her switch cus she’s human
You need to know there are two kinds of women, those who do not care if their men cheat and those who do not want to share, you can’t force someone who doesn’t want to share into a polygamous relationship…it never ends well and some people do die from heart break (you can google it) it doesn’t mean they are too emotional, it just means they don’t want to share
On the other hand someone like Chioma has never complained about davido having kids, that’s because she loves him and doesn’t mind sharing. Same way Regina will not leave Ned because of any woman cus people like that do not mind.
You can’t compare Annie and Chioma, they are two different kind of people, also emotions are not things you can switch on and off when love is in play.
Push up (original)
One time my ex started bringing my daughter over herself for like 2 weeks instead of the nanny.
ReplyDeleteOne thing led to another and we had sex.. I didn't know how it happened but till today I still regret it.
So I understand this could be unplanned. For me that was the last time I agreed to see her in an apartment.
We have been meeting in eateries or malls
The fear wey catch me when I thought she could come and tell me she is pregnant ehnnnnnnn
There’s no way that man will plan to have another baby with her while his wife is pregnant. I’m a very blunt person. That man went to cheat and majority of men cheat.
DeleteIt is truly unfortunate and heartbreaking what you are currently going through.
ReplyDeleteWhile and after reading, I became confused as to what advice to give you or what I would do if I were in your shoes.
Sometimes, it is a lot easier when one isn't the one wearing the shoe.
Firstly, I wonder if your husband is truly remorseful over his actions or because she got pregnant. Best believe that if she didn't get pregnant, he would have carried on with his affair.
You know your husband better than people here do for you to describe him as a 'good husband'. I am sorry but this act doesn't classify him as a good husband. That is not to say that anyone is above mistake, however this isnt one.
I honestly won't advise you to stay or go but understand that you are currently going through a phase that the duration is uncertain.
Kindly weigh your options very carefully, observe your husband's actions, decide not today or tomorrow if you can truly forgive him and live with him knowing fully well that the woman will always be indirectly in your lives cuz of the 2kids she shares with your husband, so no amount of moving houses, states or country can change that and you don't sound like someone who would encourage or condole a man not being involved in the lives of his children.
Lastly, give your enough time to process, reprocess and truly heal.
I am beyond pleased that you have supportive siblings.
I sincerely pray that you truly heal irrespective of whether you decide to stay or not for your own sake.
The final DECISION rests with you irrespective of the advice you receive here. Take your time with that.
I wish you safe delivery
Good people make mistakes , like all humans they don't have control over their emotions sometimes and they give in to temptation. It doesn't erase the fact they are good people. Don't talk like your life is anywhere near perfect. If our creator wanted absolute perfection, there would be no room for the forgiveness of our sins.
DeleteALEXANDER
Alexander, he definitely didn't sleep with her once. That isn't a mistake
DeleteMove out FIRST!!!!!
ReplyDeleteYou don't have to make a definite decision on divorcing him just yet. Move out of the house first and just give yourself some time to heal, grieve and look at the issues objectively.
Depending on how things go, his actions and your feelings, you will know how to handle this issue. His betrayal is really deep.
Recklessly having sex with his sidechick even before having a child with his lawful wife.
I am not saying you should forgive or not forgive, but since you have being saying what if, what if, let me also share my own what if with you. What if he continues to sleep with her? What if he gets another lady pregnant? What if he still continues to cheat? You can't make decisions on what if.
Move out first, take a break from that marriage, assess the situation and make a decision.
Staying in the same house with him without first moving out gives him the impression that there are no serious consequences for infidelity and that you will forgive and tolerate anything.
Move out and then think about how you want to deal with this issue.
You too look for a another man and be dating too. 2 can play the game.
ReplyDeleteYou think everybody is like you?
DeleteThe way you are making excuses for your husband baffles me.
ReplyDeleteLook at how you berated the lady but made out your husband to be a saint who was cornered against his will and defiled. Like he was a helpless man who a lady trapped and had carnal knowledge of him till the point that he couldn't escape her clutches and she eventually fell pregnant.
You wrote that you knew the LADY WANTED YOUR HUSBAND" from the way she calls him consistently and comes to your compound to make friends with your neighbours. Point of correction, your husband wanted the lady. If he didn't she would not have his number in the first place nor would her nauseating calls go through his phone because he would have blocked her and given her a warning of her life while involving you.
You didn't have to beg to move to another compound if your husband was a faithful man who carried you his better half along because she would have noticed he told you about her advances( that is if she was truly the one chasing him like he made it looked) and shame would have made her avoid you, your compound and your vicinity at all costs. She was bold because he made her so and I am sure she comes to your home when you go out who knows if they have done it on your matrimonial bed? All I am saying is your husband is a chronic cheat who did not have the decency to even cheat far away from his wife. What if that lady had planned your demise? after all, she knows your whereabouts and has access to you.
Your husband is not only a cheat but a careless and wicked one. Sleeping around without protection what if the lady had a disease you would have been infected while being a loyal wife?
You said what if you leave him and the next man cheats? The fear of the unknown has had people trapped over the years. You would see someone working in an abusive environment being mentally tortured by a sadistic boss but the fear of not knowing if they will get a job if they resign will make them feel stuck in the prison they call a workplace while going through misery each day till they become a shadow of themselves and lose all their self-esteem.
Stop saying she wants to push you out by force only God knows what your husband told her that gave her the confidence to spit in your face. And he lied by saying if you leave he won't marry her. He would marry her in a flash but you are not the loser what happened between you two would play out in her marital life with him. He would still cheat on her with another woman. Because by then she is in his house and he would have had his fill and gotten tired of her. If you continue in that sitautaionship just know you are there in that marriage your husband has married a second wife and yes she would give birth to more kids and she would be in his life forever as his baby mama and they would continue to have sex. The ball is in your court.
Bar man. Pls give this poster palm-wine🥃
DeleteOh, I just read she had a baby for him before so he got her pregnant again which means that is her second baby while you are expecting your first. So my former suggestion about him blocking her and not picking up her calls does not stand. He couldn't block her because they have a child together but he should have let you in on all of their interactions and let her know you aren't in the dark about anything going on between them.
DeleteThe woman is actually the wicked person. She knows the man is married. His wife is pregnant. Yet she schemed a friendship in the man's compound to be near him . So despite the way women preach about how they abhor cheating, a woman can wrong this kind plot to destroy a marriage. And put another woman in pains in her marriage. Some women are really ...
DeleteBar man add more drinks. Poster read this she will have more babies and he will keep apologizing.
Delete👏👏👏👏👏👏
DeleteShebi you people keep telling women that if their time is going and no marriage in sight, they should just get pregnant. Pregnant for who? It could be ur man, my man or her man. This is the result. May be she took u ppl’s advice, no marriage is forthcoming, and she wants to have all her kids from one man. Abi the advice is selective?
ReplyDeleteAsk them
DeleteVery brutal truth 😢😢
Delete🤣🤣🤣🤣
DeletePoster, you are pregnant and don't need such a stress at this time. Would advise you forgive him and relocate to another area, and also sound a Stern warning to him this time around. It's well with you E-hugs
ReplyDeleteFrom what I read. The lady got pregnant AGAIN for your husband. This means she has had a child for him before. Take it or.leave it. Your husband is giving the devil a bad name here. The first might be a mistake but this second one is not a mistake. This baby mama has come to stay You have a co wife. Leave now if you can or stay and fight this battle all the days of your life. The fear of polygamy is the beginning of wisdom.
ReplyDeleteZaram that babymama can not be in his life forever unless that man is not truly sorry. A babymama is never a wife.
DeleteOr maybe the other pregnancy Waka by self or by force on advice. If the second option was before Poster's marriage, then Poster has an angry and vengeful co wife at that.
DeleteIf its me o, I will walk out of that marriage with my head held high. My sister did while pregnant for her cheat of a husband and never regretted it once. She has now built 4 houses, has a successful business, her son is now a Teenager and she is travelling the world enjoying her life.
ReplyDeleteYour sister has sense, self respect and is willing to work for what she wants. Most woman are only useful in marriage, to cook, clean and procreate. They lack sense, self respect and are not willing to work for what they want. So getting and staying married at all cost is all they live for.
DeleteYou NOW have a co wife not a side chick. Your hubby now has a 2nd wife not a babymama. In at most 5yrs, he will pay the lady's brideprice. Your hubby's income will be split 50% to maintain his children with their mum. He has to pay their sch fees, rent (unless u want them to move in with you which means their mum will be visiting her children in ur house), feeding etc because that is what a father does. Your children with ur husband will be going to their half siblings birthdays because eventually ur hubby wont want his children to have bad blood and if you protest, u will be the bad wife .
ReplyDeleteMy dear, i will walkaway if i am you because the trouble ahead is worst than that of a single parent. Your hubby wont change and that cowife of urs wont relent. So pick ur choice of stress and high BP.
He wedded his wife in court, any other marriage is null and void.
DeleteYou people amaze me, how can you call a babymama wife? Even an ex wife is no longer a wife what are you saying? If your sister is a babymama better advice her. Una no know law? If this woman should leave her marriage now with a child, what are the chances of her getting a single man? If all you people say is the truth, it means her leaving is not an option because she will forever be in the life of her ex husband, how true is that?
17;11, you say chances of her getting a single man? must she remarry? Marriage is you lot's alpha and omega and it's killing women slowly
DeleteImo men especially mbaise and Owerri men even their women too, na only GOD go save their wives and husbands. Most men from this region are very reckless sexually and Linus Mbas personified.
ReplyDeleteMaybe, he didn't marry her cos she be Edo but he likes her , so the lies is to make it look ,she is the one disturbing him.
If you leave, he will still be knacking her plus others sef but will not marry her.
Some men that side have other attributes that make them good hubby but you see that their third legs, they use am swear for them
Even 100 years man fit still dey knack wives and girlfriends.
There are 3 people in this marriage, poster you either accept it or reject it. Meanwhile give him space, focus on your self and have your baby safely. Don't make any long term decisions now. Let the joy of the Lord strengthen you!
ReplyDeleteWhat makes a man a good husband?
ReplyDeleteIs it provision of money and comfort?
A man who impregnate a baby mama a second time is a good husband?
Was the first pregnancy carried to term and delivered, and he went back or wax the pregnancy lost or aborted on the instructions of the man?
Was the man aware of the first pregnancy and yet stayed around till the second?
What makes a man a good husband.?
This life sef.
Hmm, poster from the little I know about Edo ladies and it is obvious that your husband is not any serious person, that baby mama has come.to stay, either you accept that you will continue to share your husband with that lady or you leave the home.for her. If she has the gut to have another pregnancy for your husband, it is not by mistake. I am assuming that she had a child for him before. My advice I'd that you get both your families involved and know where you stand. Don't assume that your husband will stop sleeping with her, that lady is put to prove a point to you. Fear Edo ladies, if they set their heart and eyes on you as a man you will not escape except you have God and live pure life.
ReplyDeletePlease you people saying his babymama will forever be in his life,why then do you advise the wife to leave and turn into a babymama then be in his life forever? I am not understanding oo
ReplyDeleteif this man truly regrets his actions, he will repent and learn his lessons.
He should do DNA first then you can decide
ReplyDeletePoster I feel for you. This kind of emotional stress in this your state of pregnancy. I don't even know what to advise you to do . May God see you through this.
ReplyDeleteMy dear, your foolish husband has put you in a very difficult spot and I feel for you. If I were you, I would take a walk. For the woman to bring herself to your compound frequently, she is out for your husband, she has nothing to lose and will never let you rest. She now has two kids for your husband, how easy will it be for her to find another man (in her mind)?. Are you ready to be in a polygamous home? You can stay if you are. And mind you, the woman can go diabolical to push you out.
ReplyDeleteLong story short, If you have family support to help you while you get on your feet, please leave. It will be hard for a while but you will have peace. And you will definitely find a man that won't put you in this situation. This is a tangled web your foolish husband has woven. He has no single sense sleeping with her without protection while you are pregnant and exposing you and your child to all sorts. I'm so mad!
Nigerian women continuously making their men feel like mini gods.
ReplyDeleteHe got her pregnant again while you are carrying your first child.
You are scared to leave because the next man might be worst.
I like to believe it is your hormones typing all you wrote up there.
Yes LEAVE that marriage, do not think about another man.
Think about your unborn child and enjoying motherhood as a first time mother.
Enjoy the time when it is just the both of you.
Focus on your health, find happiness in the little things.
LOVE YOURSELF and a man worthy of you will find you.
But continue down the path you are currently in and look forward to a future of tears and continuous disappointment.
The ball is in your court, the true question is this...
Are you strong enough to put yourself and your baby first?
Does he intend marrying her? I don't think so..
ReplyDeleteIf you leave, would he marry her, maybe NO.. but may become a YES many years later..
Was it premeditated? Obviously YES.. Babymama wants to have all her kids with one man, she might stop at 2 tho.. she's threading carefully to avoid shame by her kids later in life.. how you want make your children respect you when them get different papa? It's more like you already created a mess and stigma for them in an already complicated and messed up world world..
Is he a good husband? YES (for you to say so, you have your reasons, so I stand with you)
If you leave, you'll become a baby mama.. more complications to you, your kid and your husband.. a win for the other babymama (woman supporting woman)..
Why don't you have a serious talk with him.. create the necessary boundaries, he should talk to his woman and let her know her boundaries.. even if they might still be fvckin, she should know not to come around your space like that bullsh!t of her coming to visit her friend in your compound.. he should be man and put her on check.. let her know any troublesome behaviour from her would be met with punishment to her and her kids.. let her know he'll cut himself both physically and financially from her if she refuses to have sense..
If you're staying back, then there should be some conditions.. use this period to arrange everything that might become a problem in future.. how he intends to be in the kids life, boundaries, mistakes that must not be repeated etc etc.. put emotions aside and be logical..
PS: I don't blame Nigerian husbands for cheating cos almost all girls were involved with a married man one way or the other before they got married.. so as you do person husband or chop him money, allow them enjoy your own too.. tho the impregnating of another lady while married is so way out of line.. but like I said earlier, they both agreed to do it for the kid to share the same father..
This is the realest I can be for you..
Blessings
Almost all? Very few women mess with married men, no matter the culture or the country. It has never and will never be any almost all. Ridiculous.
DeleteDante I've never messed with a married man in my life.
DeleteDey play
DeleteYou don't blame married men for cheating because women has been cheating with people husband? What if the poster in question did not cheat with other people husband?
DeleteThis man ehn😂
24.46
DeleteOk.. you're amongst the few
It important to state that there are different kinds of unions/marriages, even babymamas have some constitutional rights. Monogamous marriage is only one kind of marriage, all the SA Jesus here, most of the men your Bible puts on a pedestal were not known to be maritally fidel or be in monogamous marriages. A marriage is bigger than any mistake and if it evolves from being monogamous it's ok too. Poster, your life is bigger than both marriage and the mistake of a married partner. Jeez!!!! SMH!
ReplyDeleteSEBI you people said we are second jesus when we told u to marry those with good brain ,you better advice your husband to marry her for a good piece of mind at least you will know where your husband is going rather than unending drama ,baby mama issues will be in your life for ever she won't go away ,to where except she will pursue you ,you better accept your community dick and stay there
ReplyDeleteBlame your husband and leave the woman out of it, your thousand was the one that was after her, not the other way round. Your husband knew he was married before having extra marital affairs' with another woman, she`s not the one that want to scatter your home but your husband. If you can forgive him, fine but don`t blame the woman in the picture at all, your husband is the principal actor and you should blame him. If the woman didn`t threatened him, you wouldn`t have know anything by now.
ReplyDeleteSo your husband didn't realize he is a married man before cheating? Madam that lady isn't your problem but your husband. He might want to pack out so he is free to always com back to his side chick.. at some point in life we need to think and process things with our head not heart
ReplyDeletePoster since he is the one begging you cos he knows that his lover will soon inform you, is not like your husband is sorry for cheating on you but because he has ran out of luck that is why Oga decided to tell you before you hear it from his baby mama.
ReplyDeleteWell, I cannot tell you to leave your marriage cos you alone understand what show you are wearing. But you can use this time to deal with him by getting all you have ever wanted but he said nope cos he was enjoying cheating with that lady. Tell him to get you people a distance location from the lady, promise never to sleep with her again, stop seeing the lady where anything may happen.
Be prepared cos your husband will continue to see his lover in the secret especially now that they are expecting a child together. Handle your dog well, get a good chain to hold him tight else he will go back to his vomit. Men like this do not change at all but with prayers and fasting they can.
Don't even think about fasting and praying for your husband or any man in particular not to cheat. If you must fast and pray, let it be for your unborn child, wealth and health, not for any stupid man. Have you finished praying for yourself.
DeletePoster you wear the shoe so please only you know where it pinches. Don't let your sister put fear in your heart. Just like what your brother said any decision you take he is behind you giving you all the support you need. The last thing you should be thinking about right now is another man. When you get to that bridge you will cross it. So because of what another man might do and not do in the future you will stay in a miserable marriage with a spiteful rival. What if she goes diabolical on you?
ReplyDelete