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Sunday, January 08, 2023

Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative..

 Hmmm....


STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
INTERESTED IN CHURCH BROTHER


I need urgent advice, I am crushing on a guy in my church:

We both acted as husband and wife in a church drama. In reality, I want marriage but I am not impressed with most guys that i have been meeting. 

I am a 29 yrs old lady. The guy I acted with in my church's new year's eve drama is cute, godly, humble and in his early 30s. As a Christian, I don't think I should walk up to a guy to tell him to date me.

 I don't know if should see my pastor and tell him I like the guy. The guy only greets me whenever he sees me and nothing more. Most guys i have been meeting are not my spec because they are not godly.

 I am a church girl dedicated to Jesus Christ

 I will get married so it is not as if am lusting. I am scared that if I ask the guy out he might turn me down because I don't know if he is in a relationship or not.

 Pls, BVs advise me if should I shoot my shot or not. Should I ask the guy out or not? Or how can I get a friendship slot from the guy because I don't even know how to open my mouth to ask the guy to be my friend in case he can't date me?



'First off, please dont go through any Pastor to get a guy.
Why first try to be friends and find out the kind of person he is before you take this bold step in shooting your shot?

44 comments:

  1. I am team never ask a guy out. See ehn, no matter how mature most men are, there's this thing called ego that most can't shake. He may even accept you for cruise, likeness or whatever but wait till u have issues and it will take God's grace for him not to remind you he never asked you out oh. I'm serious.

    If u like him that much. Try to be in his eye sight as much as possible, call and check up on him in the christianly way. Find time to gist with him mostly about random things, if he still doesn't ask u out after all of these, he's just not into u. Move on!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Which wan be "in a Christianly way"?🀣 You forget that guys can also read your intentions before you even say it.

      Simply just tell him you like him, if you can muster the courage. If you can't, relax and sit your ass down.

      Delete
    2. Initiate minor conversations whenever you guys exchange pleasantries but never sound desperate. Men can smell desperacy and most would take advantage of it. Extend a hand of friendship but don't ask it.
      Don't even show too much of your likeness for him or he'd misunderstand for desperation. Just get hold of your emotion and be in control always.

      Delete
    3. Follow this advice but above all take it to God in prayer, he rules over the affairs of heart of men. If he is yours things we work out naturally. Pray and be his friend for a start.

      Delete
    4. 15:16 ,
      Most women think men are mumu on matters like this.

      Delete
    5. You wantu ask a Nigerian man out?
      See you see sorrow.
      LMAO.

      Delete
  2. Stella oil dey your head . You took the words right out of my mouth!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Please don’t tell him about it o

      You can be more friendly towards him and can go further to ask for his number and check on him from time to time but do not open your mouth and ask him out.
      If the feeling was mutual he will proceed from there.
      Talking to your pastor seems off, cus he may think you are lusting over someone in church when your heart should be on God.

      What if you ask him out and he has another sister on his mind, it will become awkward.
      Just collect his number and be checking on him, this will give him an opportunity to get to know you deeper and the courage to ask you out just in case you are also in his thought.
      Good luck.


      Push up (original)

      Delete
    2. Before I share my thots, what kind of Christian are you? If you are the type that don't watch TV, don't use make up, dont etc wear earrings forbids roll on,
      etc etc then skip my post.

      I suggest you check out new spots, coffee shop, cinema in your area and plan accordingly.

      One day, greet him casually and say there are so many new hangout/event/spots around that is suitable for a Christian, that you have been meaning to visit them but that you don't like going alone, so does he have time to join you to visit those places, to window shop? Say this vcasually.
      As a naija man his brain will be rest assured that he won't spend much if its window shopping. So he will agree.


      On that day wear moderate clothes, light make up and a half smile, hair neat that smells nice, Nails done. Perfume and comfortable
      shoes.
      Greet him normally. Then go with him to a mall that has a cinema. Look at the shops and joke about the prices. Watch his body language codedly.
      Make sure you
      walk to the cinema stand and look at the advertised movies. Exclaim that that you heard some reviews (from sdk blog lol)about toyin/funke movie, casually say, let's check it out to know what the buzz is about...if he says yes, then get tickets with your money, (yes, you pick the event, you pay sis, but pls if he insists on paying allow him, i repeat ALLOW him o) get snacks watch movie with him. Quietly check out his body language during the event.

      Thereafter discuss the movie plot and express if you felt it was worth the review. Feel free to use bible teachings and doctrines in your/una gist. Again biko Engage him in the after movie gist to be sure he is present physically and mentally, also don't be the only one talking, do some listening with a smile or quiet laugh

      Thank him for making out time to accompany you. That it made the day more interesting.

      As you are a woman, you will know if the man likes you in the friendzone way, or is attracted to you. Did he naintain some amount of eye contact with you or was his eyes trafficating any curvy, fine smallie? Did he spend time pressing phone?

      As you both are leaving the mall, thank him again, resist the urge to suggest another hangout o. If he suggests a future hangout again, agree to join him. ButDONT be the one to suggest another hangout.


      If you use this method. 1. it is not a date. 2.You don't look desperate. 3. He now knows you 4. If the gist burst for church it wont be a scandal. Kini big deal in checking out Avatar 2?

      You will be able to tell if he likes you. And if he doesnt, dont force it as you also had a goodTime and you are more confident. Other guys go dey rush you as they will see something special and differnt about you.


      For sure he (ur crush) will see you as an interesting lady, bcos a lady willing to use her own money dey impress some naija guys, Vhristianly or not.

      Kai, my reply long pass your chronicle.


      The Deep

      Delete
    3. πŸ‘πŸ½πŸ‘πŸ½πŸ‘πŸ½ The Deep you tried ooo. Such would never have crossed my mind. Maybe I need to change strategy this year. When it comes to this kind of thing, as old as I be I no sabi. So sorry poster I have no advice for you but will join you in reading comments.

      Delete
  3. “As a Christian, you don’t think you should walk up to a guy and ask him to date you”OKAY.
    But as a Christian, you are considering telling your pastor you like the guy. Na wa.

    Sluttychic.


    ReplyDelete
  4. Dear Poster and pls take the advice of Sdk. Aside from what she has written, is it only because he is cute that you like him? Do you realise you may not like him after you get to know him?
    And he probably is engaged.

    Then you are a Jesus girl as you put it, pls can you take time to pray? Ask the Lord to show you who he has for you that's how you should go about this.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Hmmmm it is well, just like that she has tagged the guy a Godly fellow because of the crush you have on him , he don be like heaven on earth for your eyes πŸ‘€.
    It’s not a wrong thing to fall In love ❤️ but do it in a proper way and do not assume he is a saint before you cry had I know.
    Remove pastor from that your list and focus more on a plain brethren friendship level , that’s the only way you get to find out if he is in a serious relationship or not . Please don’t give him the vibe that he is your crush and try not to over laugh during any conversation before you pass your message unknowingly.
    The whole likeness thing should be coded within you. Goodluck

    Mummy Anthony-Clever

    ReplyDelete
  6. Don't you think he would've asked you out if he was attracted to you? If a guy doesn't like you enough to marry or knack, he won't ask you out. If you offer yourself to him, he will definitely cure whatever made you ask him out. He's in his early 30s, you are 29,, he may not be ready to get married till his mid 30s or late 30s. Don't go and ask him out , then pressure him for marriage.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Pls do not involve your pastor yet.try to be friends with the guy and probably he may ask you out but if he doesn't, pls don't force it so you don't appear cheap.

    ReplyDelete
  8. If you did a play with a guy and you couldn't start a friendship,crush or not then e go hard!
    Try and start a friendship,if he has a GF,you will know and can decide if to shoot your shot or nack off!

    ReplyDelete
  9. I feel you should ask him out directly. You don't need to meet with your pastors. Shoot your shot. Ruth made herself available on the field for Boaz to find him. Before meeting him in church fast and pray and anoint your tongue so that you will find favour in the guy's sight. Follow him on his Instagram handle and start liking his post so that he will know you have not come to play. Please note the fact that u ask a guy out does not depreciate your love for him if he ever loved you. Men love bold and confident women.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Not this kind of bold abeg. Poster do not take this advise. Whether Christian or not, no woman should ever ask a man out

      Delete
    2. Lmao!
      She say na anoint your tongue, fast and pray πŸ˜†πŸ˜†πŸ˜†
      Besides go read your bible again. Ruth never asked Boaz out.
      Poster please don’t try this. Never ask a man out. If he can’t come up to you to ask to out, he’s just not into you!

      Delete
    3. 18:07
      Ruth did not ask Boaz out. She followed traditional ways of asking Boaz to do the needful.

      Being an honourable man, Boaz understood, did not take advantage of Ruth, and did the needful.

      All is in the Bible Book of Ruth

      It is surprising that despite all the wokeness and men are doing it/women can do it too gra gra some of us advocate even on this blog, we still recognize there some acts are off limits for women.

      See Poster, before you let him know by direct or indirect actions, try to study him from afar. Try and join his group in the church or get closer without drawing attention to you. Do not let him know you joined because of him. Study his approach to issues, his temperament, how he treats people. Generally observe him. Keep your ears open. You will hear what others say about him or don't say about him. People are more revealing of their true character when they think nobody is watching.

      If you still like what you see, observed, find out then you can start moving closer by any open way your observations may have shown to start a friendship with him.

      But before all, pray to God without the altar of your desire in your heart. Let God guide you. Pray for revelation and wisdom. You may be surprised at what God shows you.

      Mr. Mann

      Delete
    4. Mr Mann on point!

      Delete
    5. Natasha!!!
      Chronicle poster, please do not try this

      Delete
  10. Because you saw him in church, you feel he is godly when you have not come closer to him by becoming his friend. Don't be deceived most people you see in church are not what they pretend to be.

    I am not saying there are not good people in church nope but do not think cos one pretend to be godly they are. Why don't you continue to be friends with this guy and see for yourself. Don't go talking to him that you like him and boom Oga will sleep with you and dumb you. Do not appear cheap please.


    You made mentioned that you are a born again Christian why can't you pray for God to make him to notice you since you both are godly, I'd God want you both to be together he will fast forward it. You shouldn't shoot your shot but talk to God to arrange everything for you.

    ReplyDelete
  11. How is he "Godly"? You didn't define that.

    My dear, your hormones are ravaging. Are you ovulating?

    The point is, Find out if he is married or has someone in his life. Do your investigations and remove all forms of sentiment and dopamine. Please do the investigations when you are not ovulating or ask your mom to do it for you.

    If all is well, then you can do subtle act for him to notice you. But the fact is, if he has not asked you out then he is not that into you. It is not a must you must marry your crushes.

    Do you know how many crushes I have had at this my young age? Crushing on someone does not mean you MUST date the person or the person is for you.

    KING XOXO MYSTERY

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hahahahahahahaha @are you ovulating? πŸ˜†πŸ˜†πŸ˜†πŸ˜†

      Delete
    2. πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ˜‚πŸ€£
      πŸšΆπŸšΆπŸšΆπŸƒπŸƒπŸƒπŸƒ

      Licious babe

      Delete
  12. Do you have his phone number? If not, stylishly ask for it the next time you see him and send him a message on Whatsapp. Message like "brother John, are you coming for Monday Bible study"? Just start a friendly conversation with him.

    His response will determine if you should continue or back off.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Don't mind all of them telling you not to involve your pastor , they are all worldly , christians have code of conduct and all unbelievers including pastor haters have their code of conduct since you said you are a church girl ,go to your pastors tell him all these he can clear all these doubt within a week,instead of using these unbelievers methods been suggested to you by wordly people who sees nothing good in Christ and His people,go to your pastor ,he is not their for tithe and offering only ,he is also there for you as a guide and with a little prayer ,God will guide you.Dont be unequally yoked with unbelievers is god's will for you.shalom

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Wordly indeed. What are you? Heavens record keeper? You type of Christianity is disgusting and cringey, even God is wary of you.

      Delete
    2. And which type of Christianity is yours,it will disgust you because you don't have the holy spirit so be keeper of hell fire it is ok for you

      Delete
    3. Blackberry you’re the one with disgusting views Goke said the truth

      Delete
    4. It's so unfortunate that worldliness and earthly sensual thinking has taken over many Pastors. No more depending on the Holy Spirit but on personal thoughts and desires. Nonetheless Sister,
      1. How well do you know your Pastor?
      2. Have you been relating matters around personal life with him?
      3. Is he a flamboyant type or a God fearing?
      4. If all these are at the affirmative, kindly confide in him to know (from behind the scene) all the details of the Brother. You shouldn't be the one to ask him out please.
      5. If you are from a home that cares about children wellbeing, and your mother too attends the same church with you, let her be the one to do the findings on your behalf (from the Pastor). Just act neutral.
      6. Pray for divine guardian for proper leading; my dear, flesh do speak a lot. at times, it ends well anyway; but by chance!
      All the best my sister.

      Delete
    5. Goke you think it is everybody with the pastoral tittle that has the grace to convince or counsel people especially in this kind if situation?
      Canceling is a special gift and for you to be a relationship counselor, you must be highly reasonable and open minded. Some pastors would see it as a taboo for her to nurse such a thing in her mind if you don't know. You think everybody is open-minded like you?

      And stop with this your unbelievers tags. Being logical with the sence of reasoning that God gave you doesn't automatically make you an unbeliever.
      Besides, I have never read it anywhere in the bible where God said we shouldn't think for ourselves but allow pastors to think for us.

      Haven't you seen where pastor told someone whom to marry then in the end one of the partner started revealing the true color?

      Don't you know that demons can speak through a pastor sometimes? You think pastors are always on fire and holy spirit filled all the time ?

      Delete
  14. Poster, pls don't say anything to him, just be yourself and act normal. If he want you, he will tell you. Your boyfriend/husband may not be from your church.

    Licious babe

    ReplyDelete
  15. Poster, 'ask for his help'. This is one of the subtle ways to make anybody your friend. You could ask him to teach you a song, help reset your phone, help do something for you shaa. Studies show it helps foster friendship fast between people. You just be creative. Vulnerability is attractive to men. Then allow the flow. Don't go asking any man out directly. We women weld so much power.

    You should also bear I mind that not all crushes lead to something tangible and he may be in a serious relationship or not even so into you. All the best.

    ReplyDelete
  16. I wish you had written and sent in this chronicle before you saw him at Church today. The window for my suggestion is narrowing...but maybe, it's not too late.

    A playful way of shooting your shot would have been to call him "hubby" the next time you saw him after the play. Follow the "hubby" with a very hearty laugh and just wave and walk by. No conversation.

    If he is open to it, then he might start calling you "wifey".

    This playful banter of "hubby-wifey" can go on for a few weeks. Then one day, you just say, "how is it possible that we are married, and I don't know anything about you"?

    His response then will determine whether you should continue crushing, or just close you mind!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Nice idea but am I the only one who sees nothing wrong in telling their pastor?

      Delete
    2. Nice idea but am I the only one who sees nothing wrong in telling their pastor?

      Delete
    3. Telling her pastor so that will happen pls? I'm confused. Is it for the pastor to toast the guy on her behalf? To pray in order to 'see' if he is right for her? What is the reason?

      Delete
  17. My take on crushing on anyone is 'always give it time'. That feelings die with time and some are so strong and come like seasonal fruit., give it time!
    Tell it to God in prayer, express how you feel to God, and ask if there is a way where you're eyeing before you use your hand to pluck bad fruit. You can position yourself rightly by being friendly to him, greeting and the like but don't go beyond your boundary

    ReplyDelete
  18. Goke dear, as a believer she should go to JESUS & not her pastor. She obviously has the fear of being rejected so she should seek God directly & ask him to guide her as well as make boundary lines fall in pleasant places for her with regard to her meeting her life partner. I don't know what Christian code of conduct you mean, but as a believer she should have become accustomed to seeking God when perplexed and familiar with the way He guides her in such situations. A true believer should make JESUS their friend that they run to in times like this so they wouldn't have to write a chronicle to anybody. You may say that pastors are there to guide us, but I Say God guides us using pastors when he deems it necessary. Her case is for her & Jesus.

    ReplyDelete
  19. In your life, you had better not try it.

    ReplyDelete

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