Stella Dimoko Sisi Senaponi - Eweleke Mistress


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Friday, March 03, 2023

Sisi Senaponi - Eweleke Mistress


Kpoi! Kpoi! Una doh o! body?! I hail o!

Oyinbo wey say wonders shall never end, na because he sef don see say as one book dey finish, na so another one dey start!

I sidon for shop as market get as e be with this dem cashless gini gwanu, plus na one buttocks person dey use sidon, na aside the second buttocks and hand dey dey, incase area wan scatter after we don vote since on saturday, wey we dey wait result.

Anor dey entertain any political gist, i get minara bottle plenty and anor get hospital money, so if talk don dey pass who carry Albino belle give Wande coal, anor dey wan near am biko!

Na so oga mechanic come follow me buy market, he see two young ladies dey carry minara from another street inside korope go their compound.

He stop and ask why dey nor follow me buy, as my place near?!
They say na where their Aunty (eweleke) send dem go be that!

As dem comot, i ask mecho wetin dem dey celebrate?! Why he nor leave dem, na person wey person like he dey follow buy market na. Nor offence for dia biko!

He say him customer wife born baby boy!
He describe her give me, i suprise say na person wah know well well but anor know the ladies!

He say he go branch there later, me sef come say, i be wan see the woman, ask her why she nor follow me buy market. If i offend her mah know. As me anor dey for eyeservice abeg!

*market wey fit enter two hundred taasand o!*

Na so i go house, knack better Ankara. I go their compound. Music everywhere, guests don sidon dey chop.
Me sef don dey use my koikoi shoe shake to the music!
DJ don dey hail me as i dey shake body enter!* kiikiilii...YOLO BIKO!*

I see one Broda, wey dey feel my koikoi shoe, but as i use corner eye see as he dey use corner hand put fried meat inside ankara pocket!

*I don see say e get plenty bukata wey dey wait am for haase!*

Na this kain man buski go dey pursue from sekuriti post reach house, say he dey sniff meat for im dross
Na so i waka go meet server near caterer, point the man say be like he go need extra plate!
The server say the man don chop fried rice, ewa Agoyin with plantain, chop amala with goatmeat sef.
I say be like you nor see who i dey point o, she say no be that bros wey resemble Ebuka for television.

I say yes o, be like na big person o.

She say mba o, na treck he treck reach there, as na him first come, he don almost finish one crate of minara!
As heat wan killam with treck. He say korope 200 too corss! So he begin leg am!

I say how you take monitor this singular person, you sure say nor be mixup?!

She say mba, na potential husband she find come the catering job, say as she first see am for bustop, she think say na the Ebuka wey dey telly o!

But as he begin bargain transport with korope reach 40naira from 200naia, she know say nor be like so her village people wan do her!

Na when me sef come see him 'krokrodai' shoe from under table,plus him trawziz wey nor torsh grand!

*Be like na 'quarter-de-half' material dem use sew the trawziz!*
Server say this one na Aba-made Ebuka!*sideeyes!*

I say as na from Ogbomosho the real Ebuka kukuma come na?! *yeye pikin*
*when dem go dey use dia geography teacher play, how she wan know say Ebuka na Chinese name! *chewsstrongchinchinloudly!*

Na im i see this eweleke lady, wey dey give instruction who dem go serve, where dem go snap pisure! She do pass the partyowner fa!

I come see those two ladies with her, na so i go my customer door, ask say i wan see the pikin mama, mah give her the pack of pikin socks and cap wah buy from market.
*anor dey like show for pikin something, meh person nor hol gift! Small small shidren go full everywhere, begin use eye judge persin!

So even if na one pack of chocomilo, or fruit like Agbalumo, or even if na cocoyam persin get, i go wrap am and carry go!

She happy to see me, she say she nor too strong to organise, so na her neighbour (the eweleke) wey be her friend , she ask to help and organise the party.

She begin thank me say though na lastminute her Orbi drop complete money for drinks, say i still make the drinks available for pick up!

I say nor be me supply you drinks o, she say na lie o, say she give Eweleke lmy number to patronise!

I say meh she nor worry, before we blink eye now, pikin go clock one! She vex nor be small!

As Eweleke see me stand dey follow celebrant talk, na im she come ask me wetin i wan chop. I say nothing o!I don chop belleful before i comot haase! *i don guage go dia!*

I come understand say na badbelle cause why the Eweleke nor patronise me?! With money wey nor be her own o! Abi you see am?!
I greet the husband too, follow DJ dig am for that 'bounce it' song, na im i i face front, go haase!

If nor be say na this election matter dey my mind, i for ask eweleke, if na because she know say mecho na my customer and i know say the new car wey she buy lastweek, na her friend horseband buy am for her!
Or if na because i see her and her neighbour horseband dey sneak comot from hotel last month?!

Na borleh and fresh groundnut i dey wait, meh dem fry gimme for Mama Boy side, weh my eye for neck see them!

This same friend wey she dey hep and plan naming, as she na single mother, so maybe the plan na to turn her friend too to single mother?!

Anyways, dehbvoo go carry her come my side one day and i go ask her korokoro!

I dey come, door don jam oga harvest and choirmistress inside room, mah go find cane, sorry carpenter to hep dem!

*This one weh na only choirmistress husband open workshop today, how we wan do am na?!*


  1. Can you write more clearly abeg,can't make head or tail of thisπŸ™„

    1. swerve if you can't read.I was born in the UK and spent 2decades there before coming back to Nigeria yet I was able to read and understand.

    2. 14:26 dey whine ya self.

    3. Carry your bad energy comot for here abeg! Good vibes only. Dey form you can not read pidginπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

    4. Abeg fuck off jare! Gist wey sweet and smooth. Nobody beg you to nor sabi read pidgin. Ozuor

    5. Sisi your head correct o.

      Ask her if the opportunity comes.
      Evil friend

  2. You na professional amebo🀣🀣🀣🀣

  3. πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ see as I dey laugh like who dem dey totoriπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

  4. Sisi abeg ask her about the car o, see as she no still come patronize you, yeye de smell

  5. Wicked eweleke why dey no come patronize you?

  6. Abeg ask ham about the car .
    Nonsense 🀬

  7. LoL Sisi you are talent itself

  8. πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚this is hilarious

  9. Kai i laff election worries comot

  10. πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚


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