Read the Original Story HERE
''I saw my chronicle posted, I have been busy. Stella, Nwanyioma, thanks for the red pen, and BVs, I really appreciate all the comments, thanks so much to all of una.
The meeting changed a lot of things positively between hubby and I, cause it came as surprise and very shocking as our children are under 10, our medulla is working well now.
I felt ashamed cos they are very young to address the issue , hubby and I with all our educational qualifications and exposure are called to order by them.
They addressed everybody's fault, how, when they do something bad in the house, I will shout when addressing so neighbors will hear their ,is it outside they did it?
How I beat them and give them wound, they are fine with correcting them but not wounding them out of anger. Not spending time with them even weekends, and their dad late nights, late in school runs whenever its his turn, calling them different bad names, how we don't act like couples they watch in cartoons, they have not seen us do anything romantic, no family outing.
We are happy and grateful, they never said it in an insulting way though in our culture it's highly unacceptable.
@ Dante, I agree, men ways of handling issues varies, but I have learnt to tell him things ,and relax till he comes up with reply..
*YOUR KIDS ARE ALL UNDER TEN YEARS OLD????? Madam this your update made me cry.....I pray that those kids recover well and their mindset is cleaned out for the better...you guys better start behaving romantic cos they are still watching and will also smell when there is pretense...
Kai!!!
Don't you guys think that they might need small counselling cos I don't like what they are processing at this age and they are even offering solutions.God please o.
ReplyDeleteMay God give you and your hubby grace to maintain peace always.
Happy for you madam. More grace and wisdom in your marriage
ReplyDeleteBeat and give them wounds? All under 10yrs. It's sad that Child protective services don't exist in this country at all.
ReplyDeleteAt all 😩😪
DeleteParents like this never change overnight! They just mellow for maximum of one week and return to default settings.
DeleteFrom the narrative, the woman has serious anger issues. Inflicting injury on your children? No wonder the man prefers outside.
You only adjusted out of shame, classic behavior of a bully and narcissist. They only behave when eyes are on them, albeit temporarily.
May God help those children.
Anon . 17.43, if you know the whole story, you may not conclude.
DeleteWhen you marry a man that believes he has married you and lives like a single man without being at home for you and children, you will understand.
When a wife cannot express herself and bottles all her emotions it results to anger.
Now, the hubby is present at home, and relieving her, is she still angry?.
A man that calls his children names, is the wife safe?
When she started expressing herself that's when quarrels started, so all along the man is not home, she does not quarrel with him , but endures the pain.
Please read to understand.
Beat and wound?´ wow
ReplyDeletePO I think you need anger management classes as well. For long term fix.
You need to ‘really ‘ heal from your own traumas so you don’t continue to bleed on those innocent children.
She needs serious therapy and prayers as well. Bottling all those emotions up instead of addressing it definitely takes a toll on one’s mental health. Madam continue to speak your mind to your husband if you don’t like how he handles things. You both need intensive professional therapy and prayers on your marriage. And don’t hurt those kids man! You can be firm with them or light spanking(because these kids will test you to be honest). But not to wound them oo. Because pesin fit wound you too o so be careful please.
DeleteYour kids are even more mature than both of you.
ReplyDeleteI hope you learn from them.
So many adults are acting up and suffering from severe childhood trauma.
Gbam. A lottttttttt.
DeleteGod please FIX IT 😩
ReplyDeleteThey are too young for this shit show...get your babies a therapist or counseling of some sort..
ReplyDeleteThis isn't good for them.
You have smart children. No one is perfect in this life. No need to take them to see a counsellor becuase they are one already. I have even learnt from your chronicles. There's no way husband and wife wo t have issues but its the maturity that comes into play that shows emotional intelligence.
ReplyDeleteWhat do you mean by no need to take them to therapy because they’re one. So you don’t know that even professional therapist also go for therapy. Nobody is above therapy. Madam take those kids for counseling so they can express their minds more and really get to the bottom of how your behaviors have affected them. Pray for your children as well.
DeleteLol..
ReplyDeleteBig Stellz why this 'small' thing dey make you cry.. ABI you don get belle🤷🤨🤨 lol
Good luck Poster..
I like as those kids make you dry shame tho,. You go sit up moving forward. I also hate that thing of shouting an issue for neighbors to know wassup..
They're smart kids, they'll be fine. You guys should just keep up with the good behaviour
ReplyDeleteUnder 10yr old kids and you beat to wound them ? Your husband calls them terrible names ?
ReplyDeleteMa’am those kids need COUNSELING AND NOW! As in now now.
Why do you beat kids so bad it causes injury to them? You’re too pent up with suppressed emotions. Fix yourself and the kids too
This is unbelievable, waow under the age of 10? Please they also need counseling. This chronicle should be a lesson for every parent in this blog. Learn how to treat issues with your spouse in a away no one will notice.
ReplyDeleteI had a friend like that you will never know they use to have issues.
When people speak positively about the African culture of “beating” kids, I feel sorry for them. It’s ok to smack kids below 5 on the butt mildly if they do something, never in anger or out of anger BUT it’s not OK to beat a child or your HOUSEHELP! I see it depicted as normal by Nollywood. Yelling at kids, maids, belittling drivers and domestic staff, etc. If beating kids stops stealing why does Africa have 99.99% looters as rulers at all levels? It doesn’t inculcate good character. Denying kids of something they like, like their video game, use of their iPad or cellphone or laptop, as punishment for something they did wrong is a better form of punishment. It works. My friends and I did it.
ReplyDeleteThat’s what they do in many western countries to raise considerate, loving kids who won’t steal public or employer money or act entitled like some lazy grown up relatives do in Naija. I was physically and emotionally abused as a ten/eleven year old but I couldn’t allow an insect near my kids. I didn’t have the privilege of therapy and the toxic family that abused me continue the emotional & financial aspects of the abuse till date. God saved me and I know Jesus made me a different person from my abusive parents & abusive relations. You need to both take responsibility and change. They may not need therapy, you and your husband do because if you fake it they know and then they will need therapy. They are smart kids and you should be thankful for them. I remember watching a youtube skit about 15 years ago where some kids of African parents portrayed us as “yelling”, “lazy” folks who asked kids to come from upstairs to get them the remote control that was right by their side! It was an eye opener for me!
Poster you and your husband are children in adults form while your children are adults in children's form, make you and your husband continue, adighi agwa ochinti n'agha esu
ReplyDeleteGiving them wound is not it at all.
ReplyDeleteTake them out, spoil them small. Change your mindset. Your hubby needs to stop that late nights.
Me too I don learn something.
Just ordinary towns meeting, my kids will be telling their daddy "dad you came back late, what happened "
I don't like shouting for everyone to know... You can correct with love and you can sort things out in the kitchen or anywhere comfy for all to express themselves... Children learn alot and they see things too.. glad you're all doing well
ReplyDeleteThese kids are young.
ReplyDeleteI remember my 10yr nephew telling me how he is not happy cos his parents were quarrelling. I reassured him they will settle, they only have a disagreement and will resolve it, that sometimes people need to say aloud their opinion or grievances then they come to an agreement and settle, that it doesn't mean they hate eachother.
The truth is sometimes its very difficult to avoid kids noticing or seeing these fights no matter how serious or unserious it is. Kids are very sensitive they are very Observant, they know many things.
Except parents go outside of the home to argue, so it's somehow inevitable.
The issue is how often these fights come, and how long it lingers. The after effect of these fights on the couple's relationship matters a lot.
Parents have a lot to handle In a home.
It is well!
Our own don pass o, when we dey small our parents dey fight gbas gbos we go dey cry, dey beg.
It's awful mehmn , not a sight for any child to witness.
But we grew up, we healed/ still healing.
Everybody go dey alright lass lass
I feel so sad reading this. Why inflict injuries on them because you're angry with their father? Work on your emotions.
ReplyDeletePoster, as I said in your last post, both of you need to consciously redeem yourselves before your beautiful kids. Love yourselves, show them love, and see how things will change for the best.
God bless your home. ❤️
You see why we have a lot of 'broken adults?' Check their childhoods.
ReplyDeleteA lot of what they went through have left lifetime scars on their psyche.
Imagine being whipped until your skin peels and blood burst forth.
Imagine being called bastard, useless, worthless, fool, ode, idiot by your parents.
Imagine never being complimented, always being compared with others, mocked and criticised.
Imagine being raped by your father.
So many broken people.
So many.
Please give yourself and others grace, you have absolutely no idea what lies under those smiles.
You and your hubby should take correction. I learnt early not to treat kids as they have no functioning brain. My 7 years old had such meeting with me and I took correction. She said she doesn’t like the way I yell at her daddy and it makes her sad. Her dad can be so exasperated and will drive a pope mad but I have learnt to control my self and address him in a calm voice no matter how crazy he drives me. I have now mastered it that even when he does some unthinkable things and expect me to yell as usual I will simply ignore him and calmly tell him the future repercussions of what he is doing.
ReplyDeleteHappy you and your husband has decided to learn from your kids, they are watching you both closely. Wishing you two all the very best.
ReplyDeleteAbegi all of u talking of Counselling and stuff forget it. Our parents did worse and we turned out ok. They will be fine. Just continue as u are now. It will be ok.
ReplyDeleteEverybody here forming perfect parents. Mscheeew. Poster las las all of u will be alright. Just continue with love from now on and always listen and act with patience. Good luck dear
ReplyDelete