Hmmm...
STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
DEPRESSION LOADING
I am going into depression. Nothing makes me happy any longer.
I Took this younger sister in while she was in SS1 during my youth service days. Took care of all her responsibilities. Registered SSE twice for her. She got admission in the university and her secondary school boy friend traced her and impregnated her.
She left school to give birth and never returned to school again.
She has 5 Children in 7 years and the guy beats her blue back. He can't feed them because he has nothing serious doing. She in the other hand is a housewife.
My sister and I have opened a petty business three times for her and she used the money in feeding her family. Her husband sent her out of his house recently with the 5 Children. She landed in my house.
I am Divorced because of infertility, single woman's house, I am mad. One mind is asking me to leave them in the house and travel.. How do I feed and take care of 6 people. I spent my younger years and resources catering for family and she choose marriage over education.. I am loosing it. I don't even have a brother than can fight this boy. Dad is old
Lord have mercy. I need you now more than ever Lord. WISDOM LORD
*5 Times baby mama? please send her back to him,hissssssssssssssssssssssssssssss
A very foolish baby making machine toto too sweet am.
ReplyDeleteYou better cut them off, 5 whole children, even we working for our money do not have 5 children.
DeleteShe keeps giving birth to these kids because you will feed them.
You need to cut them off for your own sanity, you can’t be falling into depression over another persons issue. You have all tried your best. Let her try getting a job, even if it’s sales girl or something, she needs to work for her number.
Push up (original)
Don't open any business for her again
DeleteShe needs a job as sales girl , cleaner and to get small sense
She is mentally still at the age she got pregnant
Please involve the police and some lawyers, send her back.
DeleteShe has to bear the consequences so that she can teach her kids. Meanwhile, if you can help her, do so.
You need to sit her down and talk sense into her. Ask her what she has in plan for catering for the kids and getting herself a place to stay. Even if it's a cleaning job she should get one.
ReplyDeleteI will advise you to accommodate her for now because sending her back can lead to her death, if possible let her return the kids or the first 3 to their dad.
Don't encourage her irresponsibility, she should fend for herself and the children.
Felicity
Fully complete comment @15:55
DeleteMr. Mann
People now indulge depression like alcohol. We've lost the ability to differentiate between inconveniences and problems and generally, are too lazy to deal with either.
Delete@poster... Read the comments, pick whichever suggestion suits your fancy and apply accordingly.
Peace
Sit her down and talk to her. Its time for her to fend for herself and children. You tried but she blew it. You can't take responsibility for that. You can help but no you can't take full responsibility.
ReplyDeleteBy the time she had 3 children it should have been clear how this was all going to end.
Dear, poster, you have to draw the line.
If you have other siblings you should talk to them on how you can all pitch in to help.
This is really serious for you to feel like this 😌.
DeleteI will advise you to get her to get her to work, no matter how small, let her start something.
For now, she has to stay with you as difficult as it be because if she goes back to that man, he will kill her (just like one that I know that killed his wife through domestic violence, she has left behind her 5 children just two weeks ago).
If she does, you are left with brining up 5kids o.
Later, you can help get her affordable accomodation.
Also , bring NGO into this matter, don't bear this burden alone.
Madam you like to carry trouble on your head
ReplyDeleteJust ask yourself why when you choose to send in a chronicle, it’s about someone else
Are you using her problems to avoid your own life? One line for your issues with infertility but all the time to write about her life
WTF!
Delete16:23 will understand when she reads
DeleteStop hiding from your own life
Face what’s really bothering you and leave baby lady to face hers
Tomorrow she’ll say she thought she was doing you a favor by bringing kids to your house that has none
I can never understand some of you. Abi you're the sister?
DeleteFidel I’m the posters mother
DeleteThat’s what her mother will tell her
Face your life
Help when you can but your mothers hope for you is not that you’ll be carrying other peoples issues to the point of depression
Depression.. on top what
why did you carry her wahala for head like this? such people tend not to be appreciative at the very end. if you have the money, let her delve into akara frying or any other business she can manage for now.
Deleteno food for a lazy man, even bible acknowledges it
@poster 16:00,
DeleteYou are so mean. No empathy. That was very harsh and uncalled for. The reason i think she used her fertility issue is because she doesn't have any children, she should be able to take on these ones by her sisters reasoning. . But no it doesn't work like that. Pls don't do that again. If you don't have anything nice to say waka pass.
18:46 you don’t have kids then you’re depressing yourself over your sisters matter
DeleteNot your own life. Poster let them talk about your sister but you refocus your energy on yourself
Did you get tested
Have you found a solution
Don’t raise her kids thinking they will call you mother. People are evil. I have seen this with my ow eye
If you have extra money, go and save your eggs
Next step find someone to have a baby with if that’s what you want
Poster, take it easy. Do all you can to stay alive and healthy. If God forbid, something bad happens to you now, won't they survive?
ReplyDeleteYou talked of traveling, see if you can do it. Just get away from that environment and watch them struggle to survive.
Leave the environs for the sake of your health. Travel out and start fresh. You have to save yourself first before you can think of saving anyone else. You are barely surviving as it is. You have done much more than can be expected of a sibling. You sister has to fight for herself and her children, she has to find her own inner strength, all you can do is encourage. She has never had to earn anything, you have always been there. You have been there so much now you are falling apart. And it is depression now, what if it escalate to an extreme mental issue or insanity? You better get moving while you are still able to. Do not travel out and carry that load and become far away atm machine. Life is very expensive now, take care of your needs and secure yourself. Help when you can but don't run yourself into the ground. Pray for your sister and children, pray for protection and wisdom for them.
ReplyDeleteAnother thing, if you own the house make sure everything is in order legally before you leave so you don't lose it. You never know how things may go and if you must return, you will have to live somewhere.
I wish you a the best and hope you send a happy update soon.
I don’t leave my house for anyone
DeleteI’ll chase any nuisance away
Poster if you die now that your sister will still go back to her husband and have more children. You need to show love from far especially when someone says they prefer to suffer than to enjoy life. You should save up money to take care of your fertility issue than keep wasting time on someone who is not ready to change.
ReplyDeleteYour younger sister knows that you will always give her money or open the doors for her that is why she is taking you for granted. You have done your best, is time for her to carry her cross.
You nailed it. That sister is so selfish and irresponsible. How old is she?
DeleteHow much suffering in a man hand before sense falls on her.
She choose to life an accomplished life, please let her return 3 kids to the man. Or relocate to the village and do work to train her children.
The hand you give to people,is exactly same hand they will use to follow you up..
ReplyDeleteIf you keep acting as provider always,that encourages her reluctance and laziness..
If anything happens to you today;you think her life will stop too?
Lean on me no mean say make she press you die!
She is lackadaisical because she knows whether she works or not;you would always be there and keep providing..
People will always care about themselves first;put yourself first as well..your mental health matters..
If you don’t have money to give her henceforth;give her advice..she needs loads of it cos you can’t die for her sins..
@MARTINS
Martins 👍
DeleteYou said it all.
DeleteThe younger sis is quite selfish in a very stupid and annoying way.
She only thinks about present gains without considering the future, reason she left school to become a baby mama.
High time poster gives herself brain and start treating the younger sis like an adult that she is.
Younger sis doesn't mean you shouldn't grow up and have sense.
Please ma, don't send her back to the man. Please and please.
ReplyDeleteSit her down and lay the rules out to her, she must find work and she must put the 5 children in public school. After work, she must fry puff puff and sell to school children leaving school and then she must cook at home and you can help her put the children to sleep. She must do this repeatedly and you must not give her any money for at least a year, but you must help herShe will get sense eventually and stop being entitled.
Please note, i said must in everything, it is very important. But please help her stay in your house
God Bless you dear
DeletePoster why did you welcome her into your home.
ReplyDeleteSometimes I feel like some people really love poverty and being treated like rag. Some persons intentionally submit themselves to the kind of situation your younger sister is in.
And such people don't deserve a saviour cos no matter what you do they still gonna go back to their poverty and abusive life.
Poster don't let this person give you headache o.
Enjoy you life, abandon them in that house, go and rent another apartment and tell your landlord once rent expires you won't be renewing.
Just leave that toxic set of people.
Sending her back to the man might be her end.. Her Toto too sweet her that's reason for her foolishness.
DeleteI'm livid.
She is a big fool, toto sweet what? Must it produce pregnancy? Has she never heard of family planning? Madam follow this above advice prayerfully. But for now leave the house and go somewhere to change environment and rest from liability relatives
DeleteHy are you stupid ,are you God ?why is your problem if you died today that your sister will go back to that her babyfather pls sit her down tell her you can't be providing for her again what does she want to do with her children?if she didn't give you any reasonable answer look for a house pay one yr rent and some food stuff and tell her she is on her own
ReplyDeleteWhy are you doing this to yourself, madam?
ReplyDeleteWhy are you punishing yourself in the name of helping someone that does not want to help herself?
Person wey go still go back to her abuser emidiatly she finds her fit. Chase her out of your house and face your own life, Biko.
Are you a dumping ground?
Please, send her away.
Why you dey Carry load wey pass you? Life isn't hard enough? Mtcheewwwwww 😵
Depression is dangerous.pls stop hurting yourself.you can sit her down making her understand how hard it is for you taking care of her and children.its well.
ReplyDeleteAll my life I lived for my parent and siblings then my mom and Dad passed 2021 and 2022 after my Dad's funeral in December I told all my siblings that once I get back I'm facing my children and my family and that is exactly what I'm doing now I have started building my village duplex I no send anyone again. My mom that use to pray all the time about us fasting for days without eating because of the especially the male children and they were misbehaving now mom is dead they are all surviving that has taught me a lesson if I die today they will all move on and my children will be suffering.
ReplyDeleteMy father knew this and we are grade
DeleteI have friends whose fathers gave to family to their detriment
That’s not life
You don't give advance warning to dangerous people
DeleteThe Lord is your strength. And moreover when you are really tired no one will tell you the path to toll
ReplyDeleteGo and do family planning for that your sister first before you start any advice. Let her put the children in public school. Public schools ain't bad as people think is. This is not you suffering her but it's for her to learn to be responsible. Then let her get a job first. People like that can't handle a business yet because they don't have financial discipline and they will 3nd up spending business money on food. You can support with feeding for the first few months but don't give her cash at all. Once she gets a job, she will learn how to will learn financial discipline.
ReplyDeleteOn point. Family planning first then a job as a secretary, housekeeper, receptionist, sales girl, cleaner, minder etc.
DeleteShe needs a job around you guys so she doesn't spend her earnings on transportation. She can go with food from home so that at the end of the month, her salary would be intact.
Once she receives her salary, let her use it to buy foodstuffs.
I know the little salary she makes would be nowhere near enough for feeding, this is where you can add yours to complement.
If she or her children gets sick, they should go to a health center for cheaper treatment. They should also attend government schools.
Don't kill yourself over their matter oh. If you do all this, it'd be more than enough.
If you die today she wil move on and still survive. You can't help some people
ReplyDeleteLol people like throwing depression about like candies . This self induced depression is what you’re making it stress you ? An irresponsible self hating sister is the one you’re allowing to kill you ?
ReplyDeleteLooks like your issues go deeper than your sisters problems : the infertility and subsequent divorce has left you traumatized more than you care to admit.
Anyways your sister is very very foolish! Very foolish and you’re enabling her foolishness.
She love dick pass sense
ReplyDeleteNa wa this is so bad, I pray u pick the best advice regardless of anything please don’t send them away, let her look for something doing to support you and her kids best wishes.
ReplyDelete-Anyin
Rent a house for them and foodstuffs for them,she should look for a job to do to continue paying the rent and feeding herself and the children and take care of yourself,cos if anything happens to you today she and the children will still move on in life ........ Josaria
ReplyDeleteIf you accommodate her and try carrying the responsibility, she will never take responsibility or learn the consequence of her action, which might lead her to commiting more. Like going behind your back to her hubby and carry pregnancy no 6.
ReplyDeleteAlso, people like this tend to be ungrateful in the long run. She might one day abuse you about your broken marriage and infertility in a way you might never heal from the pain.
To avoid all these, I will advise you get her a room apartment (if possible far away from you) and ask her to move in.Bettrt still, get another apartment and don't tell her your address. Then, set up Akara business for her. (It's fast selling, has reasonable profit and easy to start.
Let her know she will be responsible for paying her bills henceforth and should stop bringing her problems to you as you have many of yours to deal with.
If you all ain't firm this time with her, she will keep doing this expecting you all to shoulder her responsibility. Do not feel guilty taking this action and don't allow her guilt trip you either.
You've overindulged her all this while. Now she's now a monster you can't tame.
ReplyDeleteWhat is the way out?
Travel out of the country, tell no one your destination, even your friends. Start a new life in a new world, where no one remember you of your past nor worries you with their burden.
Do this and come closer to God without any intermediary. God will have mercy on you and give a new husband and some babies.
No one in this world worth dieing for except your children. SHALOM.
I’m worried for you sha poster because once you make that drastic change and she knows you’re no longer helping her entitled mentality, I hope she won’t do something crazy to hurt you forgetting the help you’ve done for her. People like her are very very selfish. Leave that house for her until rent expires like others mentioned, travel or rent another apartment, don’t let her know where you live. change your number and if you don’t want to change it, block her for a long time. Matter of fact, it’s time to cut her off and let her figure out herself! . You’ve done more than enough and she’s ungrateful. Take this time to really figure out what’s up with you. I used to help to a fault until I realized I had a void in me that I was trying to fill. Instead of facing it with prayers, therapy and hard work, I was compensating people and people sure took advantage of my niceness and friendship. Had to learn the hard way. Had to love myself first, work seriously on me, prayed and cried a lot and had to put myself first and now, saying no is not hard at all. It feels damn good actually and I get a lot more respect. It’s time to work on you, save up for fertility. Who knows it might be naija stress and younger sister’s stress that’s adding to your fertility issue. One needs rest, sleep, lose weight if you have to for belle to stay. If you need to travel, please do. Check out Rwanda, they have good infrastructure and much better hospital system. It’s in Africa and you’ll be able to afford it and even get a very good job. European countries, Canada, America is another option but they can be very very expensive for someone with no papers. It’s time to focus on you. Wishing you all the best. 💕
ReplyDeleteGod Bless you
DeleteShe had 5 kids because she know say she get pesin to get money from. You enabled her big time and she’s taken you for granted poster. ENOUGH is ENOUGH! If you have money to give out, please go to motherless homes or help folks on the streets besides this leech of a sister. Also, I’ll really recommend seeing a therapist to work through your underlying traumatic experiences and emotions. You’re carrying a lot and you’re compensating that lack of self love to helping this person who doesn’t give a damn about her own life. Also commit yourself and cry to God to make a way in your life. He will surely hear & help you. Also meet new people and make new friends that will pour into you and you’ll pour into them. Friends that will pray for you and you’ll pray for them. You deserve love, happiness and best of what this world has to offer. Life is beautiful even in naija’s stressful situation. You even have the capability to travel some don’t. You’ve been a good person to your sister, now is the time to get your reward. Let her be biko. Ps: enroll in a gym or start working to sweat your frustration. Your stress level is high. do deep breathing every night, meditate, pray and journal your thoughts process and burn them after or tear it apart weller(make pesin no read am and use am against you). Blessings.
ReplyDeleteThank you and God Bless you, all this advise benefits a lot more people than the poster.
DeleteNo go take your self do capital for your sister and one good fucker baby daddy. If they start thinking of killing you as a leverage to life? Think of yourself too in the scheme of things.
ReplyDelete