Hmmm....
STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
TIPS ON WHAT TO DO NEXT NEEDED!!!
Hello Stella, this is my chronicle I need imput on what to do...
Hello Stella, this is my chronicle I need imput on what to do...
I have been Dating my boyfriend since 2009, we dated till 2019, along the line we broke up, then last year we reconnected, but it seems to me the relationship is not going anywhere, because when I ask the question "what next" he doesn't really give me any tangible Answer
So I'm wondering if I should just break it off finally and move on or I should wait till the end of this year, I'm confused.
I really do love him, and haven't really dated anyone since
I need advice from blog visitors
Thank you
Hmmmm its been too long and he should know what he wants by now unless he is financially handicapped and cannot make a decision but i still need you to sit him down and ask him so that you both know what you are up for...If he has no plans, break up with him immediately and use the remaining of this year to 'recupurate* and have a new start next year.
Dont just sit down there before you will be handed a wedding card and be told he didnt ask you to wait for him...
Have that conversation please.
I guess he belongs to Time Wasters Association. 10 years is too long for dating and for him not to have made up his mind as to what next even if he is not financially buoyant, you need to know where you stand.
ReplyDeleteBaby Girl 10 freaking years with him, went on hiatus, reconnected again? What exactly do you want to talk about again. Someone used a whole decade to date. You both didn't even talk when you decided to reconnect and you feel what he didn't feel in 10 years will suddenly light a spark once you reconnected.
DeleteBaby Girl smell the coffee and move on! The ship has long sailed. Always define what you are about to venture into especially relationship. If he is not into you, he will never be into you. A man that wants you and scared of losing you would have done the needful without being pushed or cajoled. If you want to have conversation, get on with it but be prepared cos it won't be pleasant and For God sake, no room for ambiguity and ''chere kam bia ozo''.
If he is not definitive, my dear please move forward. You are beautiful and there are quality men out there...Don't continue on a wrong route because you made a mistake, turn back and head to the right direction. All the best...
You are dated out my sister. Break it off
DeleteEveryone is a relationship expert here - even those that are immature or have never had any meaningful relationship all their lives! Also, I smile when I read comments on this blog (advice or insults against others) and laugh out loud when pictures are shown of some of the BVs that dish out these advice and insults.
DeleteAll I did was to use calculator and substract 2023 from 2009. 14 good years. Ok
DeleteShe accepted him back and he still doesn't know what he wants. Poster no time to check time. He ain't the only fish in the river.
DeletePoster ,he is a time waster! When he sees what he wants! He will marry in 6 months! You are the one in love with him.
DeleteHe is not in love withyou! I will advise you going forward! Is not you as a woman to love! Is the man's job! You should only be with a man,you can respect and submt to. That's all.
Six months is too much, my friend married her husband within 2 months after dating for 2 weeks.
DeleteSome people may not went to get married but are fully committed! It’s not all about time wasting and ending relationships. A huge problem is that most people don’t have the discussion in the first place; what is your future plan….. do you want children…. Are you interested in marriage or not… etc.
Deletewe all assume the man should propose after a while or that relationships should naturally lead to marriage.poster, speak to your man to explore his thinking and if you feel he is unable to meet your needs, do what you need to do.
It's too long a time not to know where you stand by now. Please follow Stella's advise.
ReplyDeleteFirst of all, you dated him no for 10years??? Hmmm, you try o, cos that's long. A whole decade. It's obvious the relationship is going nowhere. If you dated him, for 10years, and nothing happened, why do you think this year will be different?? I think you should end it.
ReplyDeleteSince 2009 and you don't even know where relationship is going right now? My sister keep waiting so'gbo? The Lord is your muscle.
ReplyDeleteA relationship of 14 years is a lot of time for both parties to know what they want. He probably does not want to end the relationship himself so "endured" for you to call it quits. Use the "he doesn't really give me any tangible Answer" to go.
ReplyDeleteNo time to run as much time has been wasted. This your guy, poster is the kind of person that a year and half after separation, he's married.
Go do something better with your life relationship wise.
If no answer then he has no direction for the relationship, such directionless men make terrible leaders
ReplyDeleteIf no answer then he has no direction for the relationship, such directionless men make terrible leaders
ReplyDeleteHave the conversation and pls don’t wait for anyone who isn’t waiting for you
ReplyDeletePoster please and please date other men now that you still can. Don't treat yourself as though you are at the mercy of this guy. Don't you love yourself? Does he treat you the way you should be loved? I mean don't you have your own expectations too?
ReplyDeleteIn 14 years no milestones have been achieved by both parties indicates that even if by chance you both should get married today that marriage will hit the rocks sooner than later.
There's simply no warmth/ life in whatever two of you think you have. You are basically into struggle love and it's a waste of time.
Poster, dare to be with the man who loves and wants you in his future at least. Forget about loving someone who doesn't feel same way about you, it's an effort in futility.
Dated a guy that long and no headway yet??? I would advise you RUN o..
ReplyDeleteThe Lord be with you
Bv Yosola
A really definition of a time waster . God abegg.🥱😴
ReplyDeleteYou go old o, then you'd blame him for leading you on, when you can see for yourself that he's not serious. Instead of you to give yourself sense, you're looking for what to cling on. He has big manhood that's keeping you hooked abi? Continue.
ReplyDelete😂😂😂😂 BB
DeleteThis is just a relationship of convinience if you ask me. Both of you are not bold enough to date other people or you just feel you are not good enough to be dated by other men. Ten years is a long time enough to figure out what you want and if he isn’t definite about it. Pls you sef love yourself enough to move on and have a life
ReplyDeleteWhy did you even separate sef. Have you sat down to evaluate things. It doesn’t take a man very long to figure and and go for who he wants. Don’t stay there and be a placeholder for someone els. You life is passing
Have a life pls and grow yourself confidence
Zendaya
2009 to 2019. 10yrs relationship!
ReplyDeleteReconnected 3yrs later and no ring yet.
You didn't tell us if he is financial capable of marriage now. Please, ask questions because he might be your wall of Jericho. He won't let you move on.
This is how people settle for less. After almost 15 years he has still not decided if he wants to wife you and you're asking such question? Remove yourself from that bondage.
ReplyDeleteMy dear sister pls just move on with your life....
ReplyDeleteI'm talking out of experience dear, he isn't ready and he isn't going to be ready anytime soon.
And pls when you finally decide to quit him pls don't go back to him for the sake of your sanity.
Men are never confused in choosing a life partner but women are the most confused humans on earth when it comes to choosing a life partner.
That guy already have answers to your questions, he has already figured out who he's taking to the altar.
You should be in your 30s now,assume you were 18 when you both started ,did 10yeara you became 28years, broke off for 3 years that's 31years dated another 4 years that's 35years....baby love this is not right.
ReplyDeleteThis is a soul tie that needs to be broken not only physical separation. He won't leave yet he won't let you get another person,your eggs are getting invalid by the day,he can wake up and remarry
May God guide you
Secondly I think you have confidence issues,you think you won't do well alone and there's so much fear
Let him go and let God
Depends on when you started dating
ReplyDeleteYou didn’t say if it’s puppy love like you started at 13
When it’s not medicine, you are studying. Imagine by now, you for don turn Doctor. Don’t break things off, stay and continue wasting your youth. See you, see breakfast. He will go and look for one sweetie and settle down with.
ReplyDeleteTen years and counting is a long time for someone not to know what he wants from you.
ReplyDeleteDon't waste your time. Break up and move on abeg.
ReplyDeleteI dated for 5 years, no reasonable talk about marriage, still He broke up with me and moved on with his life, but wants us to remain friendly.
If a man tells you he is done (by words or deed), better move on with your life.
You want to give 10 years to a man!!!!!
If you have to ask a man where you stand, then you have just fallen into Trap 1 of the man’s tricks. He will tell you want you want to hear and waste more of your time. Actions also speak louder than words.
ReplyDeleteSee, DON’T ask him sh*t!! Just stop being available and stop making time for the relationship. Reduce the calls you received from and make to him. Respond to messages like you are very busy. And if you aren’t, get busy. Naija tough oh my sister.
Guess what? He would call you and ask you why you’re acting this way. Tell him “nothing”. If he persists, tell him that “you already have the answers you need” and say no more. Don’t let him know what you are thinking or feeling. He shut down? You shut down too!
I was in a similar situation recently and everyone told me to get clarity from him. Next thing was Oga started saying I was desperate. Me that is 35. Of course I dumped his a** quickly and he came at me with rage because he never believed I could walk. That’s the thing: they never believe that we are bold enough to start over. How much does he need to go and make his intentions known to your parents? Are we sleeping here?
These men know what they are doing. This is not the time to play to your feminine nurturing side. Give him a very masculine emotional blow WITHOUT insults. This may make him sit up and tell the truth or even do the needful. But NEVER have such conversations with a person you have been seeing for 10 years. No reduce yourself like that abeg. I take God beg you my sister.
Thank God you dumped the unserious guy.
DeleteYou have said it all.
DeleteHonestly, poster’s boyfriend does not deserve the courtesy of telling him ‘I don’t think things can work between us’. Poster should just lock up and stop reaching out to the guy completely.
DeletePoster, this relationship is an embarrassment, especially if you are over 25. There is nothing he wants to learn about you that he did not learn since 2009. You people reuniting again this year was supposed to start with a proposal and engagement ring. The painful truth is that he doesn’t see a lifelong companion in you and you are a placeholder until he finds his wife.
Please don’t waste more time, it’s better to be single that chain yourself to a yoke of a man.
Please move on quietly, that kinda break up move on slowly.
ReplyDeleteMost men shy away from commitment if they aren't financially stable. But I wouldn't support you waiting for too long either.it's very important you have that conversation with him and pls if he is not taking the relationship to the next level, you better move on sis. The biological clock of a woman is different from that of a man.
ReplyDeleteYour guy na comfam rolling stone. This one no get bustop. He may not wife you. But his type may immediately wife someone else he met 2 months ago.
ReplyDeleteIf you have mind to walk away, walk. If not, you can march him to court to legalize una union 😉
Haba Poster, it's too long, He doesn't want to marry you, He's only wasting your time, it's better you move on.
ReplyDeleteWhen you have decided to move on, I mean stop loving him or dwelling in the past, You will find a better man. I wish you the best.
Sister sister sister! Use your tongue to count your teeth. 2009-2023 hovering around one man😳. I push you out of that ship by fire 🔥🔥🔥by thunder. Be set free in Jesus name Amen.
ReplyDeleteAmen and Amen!
DeleteTell us your level before I will know how to start advicing you because my cousin dated for upto 8yrs if am not mistaking, today day are happily married and inseparable. Though they started when she was in Jss3 and married immediately after her NYSC. When did your relationship with him kick off and what level in life are you in now ( financially, age wise, educationally, and all that needs to be known)? How are we going to give you a proper advice with this half story?
ReplyDeleteMen are very calculative,logical in thinking,reasoning and actions;thus know what they need and when they need it..
ReplyDeleteSo long as finance isnt an issue;No man who wants you as a wife would date you for two years once you tick 60% upwards of the qualities he needs in a wife..
If he earns reasonably and still having cold feet’s to take you to the isle,it means he doesn’t want commitment OR you aren’t his wife,so he is just enjoying the moment with you while searching for the wife he needs;and once he gets it,you are discharged..
You know how much hook-up girls charge per night? Calculate it by the years you have spent with a man whom you have been having free sex with(if you are) for years;that’s your answer;a cum bucket to discharge tank full of sperm..
No advice supersedes that which you give to yourself;no serious man dates that long when he knows other birds(Men) are lurking around..
@MARTINS
Martins 👍
Delete10 years and still no sense?
ReplyDeleteIt means none can be found within.
Go and find who will lend you a teaspoon's worth so you can discharge yourself with dignity and salvage what is left if your life.
Remember these men will use you osho free till even their wedding night and after if you let them.
10 years...10 year old pickin dey JSS1, incase you don't know.
Afi, I really love him...buahahahahahahaaaaa, very very funny.
You are likely in his life as a placeholder until the woman he really wants come along. Most men know in 6 months, some in 3 weeks if they want to have a future with a woman. If after ten long years this man can’t say pim to you about a stable future then I don’t know what any of us can tell you.
ReplyDeleteYou may end up being one of those women who walks by a church one day and see him marrying another woman right under your nose. It’s your life, you get to decide the direction it takes. But the future does look dim with this romance, so you can stick around and live out your dark future or move on and create something brighter for yourself.
Yes, placeholder is the word.
DeleteAll I can say is that 10 years is a long long time to have dated without properly defining the relationship.
ReplyDeleteMen don't usually need that much time to make up their minds about wanting to marry a lady.
Hmm poster this one too long o.
ReplyDeleteSince 2009? Ha people wey begin date serious people since that year don't born 1 or 2 kids na.
Just follow Madam Stella's advice.
Pls I take God beg you.
@ The Lifted, abi their children don dey secondary school by now? I wonder what the Poster wants to hear from us. It's actually better to be single to be single and actively improving your life than to attach yourself to some type of people. If konji is too much, buy dildo and help yourself till you meet your man. You know the answer deep within you, brave yourself and take action!!!
DeleteHow do you date for 10 years?
ReplyDeleteIs he your first love? Please free this guy, he is not ready even in 20 years, he will still be tagging you along.
ReplyDeleteI know it's not easy to wake up and say you want to break up with someone you love,you've been hoping for years dear and still no ring from him.stop allowing him waste your time and put yourself first by leaving him
ReplyDelete