Hmmmmm.....
STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
My fellow SDK Bvs I have something troubling about my neighbor. She used to be such a lovely lady, but everything changed when this man moved in with her. She leaves for work around 7 AM and returns at 6 PM, so he’s mostly alone with her teenage daughter who has finished secondary school and always at home
I've noticed some concerning dynamics between the teen and this man. As a nursing mother, she occasionally visits to see my baby, but I’m hesitant to bring up my worries with her. Lately her mother stopped contributing to our shared expenses for the security and water, and even cut the ropes we use for drying clothes outside. If you knock at their door for payment, the man will jump out with insults. He does not have any shame and heeps insults more than a woman.
This man has had altercations with almost everyone in our compound over trivial issues, and whenever a fight breaks out, she jumps in to insult our neighbors right alongside him. It’s disheartening to see how he has manipulated them. In her last altercation with someone, I heard her saying thank God she now has a man who can defend her because everyone in the compound is married excluding her.
I’m genuinely worried for both the woman and her daughter. I feel helpless in trying to protect that innocent teen from the toxic environment created by her mother and this man. Any thoughts on what I might do?
Yes, you can do something.... MIND YOUR BUSINESS!!!!
Imagine that you even wanted to bring up this kinda topic with a teen? thats shameless gossip...Please face front and note that the dynamics you noticed might be in your mind, please do not go and start gossip that will come back to trouble you seriously..
Madam mind your business. If the man is defending her and doing something with her daughter it's their problem. In life everything has advantages and disadvantages
ReplyDeleteWhen it’s your turn, may you be surrounded by people who mind their business.
DeleteIf you can get a good Christian book(s) teaching teenagers good morals and behaviour, present it/them to the teenager and let her read. You may direct her to chapters that address your immediate fear. There use to be a book titled: "the questions young people ask, answers that work". Google it and see how you can get it or direct her to the e-copy site. Or look for similar types of book. You will say a lot without saying anything and you would have salved your conscience.
DeleteMr. Mann
Things has change drastically, especially in (Africa setting), when you see something you say something but poster put her in prayers.
ReplyDeleteSadly you cannot help the situation. You can only hope that the woman realizes on her own that her current living arrangement/relationship with the man isn't good for either her or her daughter.
ReplyDeleteAre you by any way insinuating he is doing something with the teen because that's my major concern
DeleteAs for an adult that allowed someone to brainwash her she go learn
Dear Poster,
ReplyDeleteI understand your concerns, but the truth is you can't save anybody... You are not the cartoon character ''WONDER WOMAN''.... Please don't tell that young teenager your worries, that you will not put yourself in a good light at all.....Please don't descend to that level.....
Since the teenager is close to you because of your baby, you can ask her about her school, her future endeavours e.t.c...You can only encourage and coach her on things that is if she asks you, other than that, please maintain the platonic relationship....Be very careful she reports anything to you about her mother but still look out for her in the little way you can...
With the mentality of your neigbour, you can't do or change anything about a woman who feels incomplete without a man...As my Igbo people say ''The Day she wakes up is her Good morning''
All the best and focus on your baby ☺️☺️
Stella, from what I inferred, the poster is genuinely concerned about the teen and just trying to ensure that all is well with her especially ruling out any form of S?xual abu3e with the teen.
ReplyDeleteNo necessarily what is going on in the home.
Dear poster, I must commend your concern in the welfare of your neighbor, sadly I don't know what advice to give to you. What was your rship with your nebor like before?
These days one is advised to mind their business and how difficult it is to advise a woman 'in love'.
Lastly the man is always home.
I will leave it to the others
I genuinely miss when everyone was watching the back of their neighbors.
ReplyDeleteThat was then.. When neighbors truly appreciate it not now, they call it, jealousy, envy, joblessness etc..
DeleteThen people do it with true and good intentions, now they mock you instead of correcting..
Same here oooo. It's really sickening .😌😌😌. The teenager is my concern.
DeleteOP congratulations! See how many words you used to describe yourself as a busybody. You observed? Unto the international observer wey you be abi?
ReplyDeleteKeep your supposed observations to yourself. If you had any genuine concerns, you should have raised them with the mom but ofcourse, I don't think you are on speaking terms seeing as you married ladies in your compound just about make fun her.
Mind your business.
This your comment is not it at all
DeletePoster just face front. It's not everything you see that concerns you, before the blame is heaped on you.
ReplyDeleteAbeg Biko Nne Mind ya Business oooo..
ReplyDeleteHe get some people wan no need Advice like this ya neighbor sure anything you tell her now, she might End up telling her Man..
Biko Face Front ooo..
Hello iya Boys
Yesoh ma'am mind ya bizness what u intend for good may backfire and hurt you this will lead to another teary chronicle
ReplyDeleteDon't take your eyes off the teenager girl. Be her friend but be careful.
ReplyDeleteAlways pray for her safety.
That's the way to show that you truly care.
Poster, pls DO NOT mind your business over the teenage daughter issue.
ReplyDeleteI can’t really be bothered with the couple’s quarrels with everyone in the compound but try to be observant and if you believe something fishy is going on, you can send the mother an anonymous message through someone else’s phone to observe them closely.
Evil thrives and lives get ruined when everyone decides to mind their business.
I for one would not be able to sleep if I think a girl child is being sexually abused.
Poster, please take this advice. Thank you 16:25.
DeleteAnon 16.25, thank you very much. You are one of the few humane and reasonable BVs
DeleteThis is sad, but nne just mind your business before the two of them go use insult scatter you.
ReplyDeleteEvil prevails when good men do nothing!
ReplyDeleteMay people not mind their businesses even when we are on self-destruct mode.
ReplyDeleteMadam, a humans true element is Love; let Love inspire you to do what is right. What is the value of life if you see evil and turn a blind eye? Anathamasis! It better you were never born.
Thank you . Everyone God brought on our path is for a purpose. Mind your business ke..it can never be me. The highest she can do if I confront her is to shout insult me or stop talking to.me.
DeleteFace front. Face back. Anyone God brought on our path in life is for a reason.
ReplyDeleteThat girl can be your child. Call the woman . The highest she will do is to insult you. She will not call police. Tell her the damage she is doing to the innocent girl as that girl might never recover from this harm.
You can help the girl register for a trade. Tailor, bakery or anything that takes her out of the house daily. She will come back when her mum is back. This will prevent her from having more time with the man alone.
You can also help if you have connections to enable her get admission quickly. All the best.
This mind your business has caused a lot of harm than good. Children act anyhow because everyone feels it's not my business.
ReplyDeleteA church member lost his undergraduate daughter at Imo State University to this mind your business. The incendebce was even posted her. You heard shouts from your neighbors door. You closed your door because it does not concern you till she died and stared smelling. It took her younger sister to come from afar to break the door. If you are a parent or parent to be. When you see a child going through things you can help. Biko help. Don't mind your business. You might be saving a fellow human from pains and tears in future.
God bless you
DeleteThis issue dey pain me seriously.
ReplyDeleteSomething happened in my village few years back. A young lady was dying. Her dad was late and the mother was struggling. Her uncle took her to a hospital and it was confirmed she had HIV. The brought her home and left her to die. All hope of living was lost. According to my mum she was looking like skeleton. I was far away doing youth service and the rumor came to me.. The rumor was all over the place. People started avoiding them. I heard the mum always lock her inside due to shame. I sent part of my allowee to my mum to give her mum to take her to another hospital. My mum said no need because everyone said she will soon die ðŸ˜. First daughter of her parents. No father. Less than 22 years then. I told my friend who was working in a general hospital and he told me what to do. I sent her and her younger brother an anonymous text. After the text, I discarded the line. Told them where to go and who to meet. They did exactly because the mum is close to my mum. She told her everything. That lady is very alive today. She got married last year and God has blessed them with a son. It was later I told my mum what happened.
Why are we in this earth? How much money can you spend on yourself? If all the knowledge you acquire is for you alone its useless. If all the money you acquire is for you alone. Then you are poor. Imagine if I mind my business.
God bless you
DeleteAgain and again, God bless you mightily, Zaram. God shall bless you with a agod-fearing man (if you are still single). Generarions shall call you MOTHER IN ISRAEL Amen
DeleteGood of you
DeleteAmen. Amen. Anon. God bless you.
DeleteMy main concern is that I hope the man is not taking advantage of the teenage daughter when both of them are left all alone in the house.
ReplyDeleteHow can you just bring in a man to come leave with you in your own house where you stay with your daughter? Some people and their blind love sef?
Poster, don't mind your business please. I understand your concerns and I really don't know how you can go about it. The woman seems difficult to approach as it is. Please pray for them(mum amd daughter)
ReplyDeleteNne after reading all these advices you use your tongue to count your teeth, you knows best on how to handle the situation as you are with them there,but be careful you hear 🙄
ReplyDeleteOP please don't mind your business. That girl will thank you some day for caring for her. Naijas often turn a blind eye to perverts and yet they will be the first to start dragging an abused girl for being loose. You need to intervene but do it codedly. If you can, approach an NGO and ask them to give this girl a trade or some sort of training so she is not left alone in the house with this man. Suggest errands/small jobs and things the girl can do for other women only in the neighbourhood to keep her out of harm's way. My dad was a pervert. No girl child was safe with him. I wish I could have exposed him and kept our relatives safe from him. Do something please but codedly as you are a nursing mother.
ReplyDeleteI totally understand this dynamics you're talking about. In her mind she now has a man and is settled, she doesn't know that trouble is loading. It's just so sad. Even if you question the teen and she opens up, there is really nothing you can do. So sad
ReplyDelete