ADVICE NEEDED
My cousin from my mother’s side called and said he wanted to see me, but not at his house. We agreed to meet at an eatery. During our meeting, he told me he wants to buy a house in my name, and asked me to keep it a secret not even to tell my mother.
I was surprised and asked why he would want to buy a house in my name, especially since he’s married with children. His first son is already 17.
Instead of answering directly, he asked me to list all my uncles both from my father’s and mother’s side who are or were married. I did, mentioning them by name. Then he asked how many of them are still alive.
To my shock, only two are; the rest six of them are dead. He said the same fate has befallen many others. The father struggles to take care of the children and die early poor and struggling while their mothers are still alive, enjoying the fruits of their late husbands’ labor.
Even if the man is alive, at a certain point their wives will start focusing on the children, traveling from state to state fo Omugwo leaving their husbands behind, often lonely or with a maid.
He said he wants to buy the house as a kind of retirement plan for himself. That way, when his wife starts traveling in the name of Omugwo or medical check up, he’ll have something to sustain him as financial safety net.
Even if the man is alive, at a certain point their wives will start focusing on the children, traveling from state to state fo Omugwo leaving their husbands behind, often lonely or with a maid.
He said he wants to buy the house as a kind of retirement plan for himself. That way, when his wife starts traveling in the name of Omugwo or medical check up, he’ll have something to sustain him as financial safety net.
According to him, he has also noticed that wealthy men are rarely left lonely for long at old age by their wives and children. When their wives do travel for Omugwo, medical checkups, or anything else she make sure to return quickly, because the husband still have something to offer.
I told him to at least allow me tell my mother, he said no. I told him I will think about it and get back to him. I am single. I am worried. I love my cousin and his wife. They have been good to us.
I told him to at least allow me tell my mother, he said no. I told him I will think about it and get back to him. I am single. I am worried. I love my cousin and his wife. They have been good to us.
Look at you oh!!!
He should be worried about you not agreeing to give him back his property later.....Tell your mother what? Are you a baby? You mean you cannot keep a secret or what?
Is he a politician? Why can’t he buy in his children’s name and keep it a secret. I don’t trust 2 of you
ReplyDeleteNa wa for you o!
DeleteGood question
DeleteI don't know if you are a man or woman?
ReplyDeleteYour cousin should buy the house in his name but give you power of attorney for now.
God forbid, but what if the poster dies before the cousin? I don't like people with this kind of reasoning, they ended loosing what they're trying to protect. Don't accept the offer poster
DeleteYou can agree to his proposal but be rest assured,he's a mean person. 🙄🙄🙄
ReplyDeleteAlso the man should be worried if either of you die earlier,what happens? How would he get back his property which is in your name without family squabbles?
ReplyDeleteThis is complicated.
Dear Poster,
ReplyDeleteWhat your cousin is strange, suspicious and all the reasons he has given has no correlation to why he wants to buy a house in your name.....This is a freaking red sea with red alert blaring......Like there is no head and tail of his points he is trying to buttress...He is feeling vulnerable and trying to justify his secrecy and fears with the ''Omugwo'' bullcrap story.....Respond to him that ''You have heard him and his proposal; you will think about it and get back to him''
Here is what I will advice you
1. I will advise not to take his offer....If there is wahala or issues, you will be made the centre of the family drama especially with his wife and children....This is a greek gift...
2. He is manipulating you because in all he has said, there is nothing tangible that is in for you i.e. What do you stand to gain in all this buying for you.....Everything here is for his selfish and personal gain.....
3. Ask yourself questions (a) What if he drops dead (b) What if his wife finds out....Ask a lawyer and estate valuer about what your cousin said; you can enquire from a third person perspective....
4. At the last resort, please mention this to your mother however approach this with maturity and wisdom....Manage how you share the information with her....
Your cousin may mean well or telling you some half truths but his proposal is not a wise one as it will put you at a high risk in the future....There is no problem in being loyal but not at your own detriment or putting you on highly unnecessary risk...
All the best....
Stop with your chapgpt counselling abeg.
DeletePray about it
ReplyDeleteI no understand this chronicle
ReplyDeleteCall him now
ReplyDeleteTell him you are ready
Go and buy the property
Kee quiet
You are lucky you have someone opening your eyes to demonic patterns in your family life
I spoke up early I was 8yards my parents didn’t believe
My fathers only brother is bad man I stopped collecting anything from him when I was 10,my dad was always angry with me because that’s his only brother
Fast forward 20plus years after my mother believe me die,my father don see shege
I warned them but they no hear
Listen to him and keep mute
You’ve come of age
This isn't marriage na. I thought two have become one? There are really different kinds of marriage. Most marry to use each other; and I have said it time and time again, that what most people practice in Nigeria and around the world is everything but a kingdom marriage. Some even block each other on social media and corner mark their spouse from checking their phones. I shake my intestines. Phew
ReplyDeleteStella, the poster is right. They have to tell someone they trust too. The future is unknown, with the way people set others up for bad, they need to be careful too.
ReplyDeletedo not accept this please.
ReplyDeletePoster don't trust that man. Tell him to buy the house in his name and you will keep the documents safe for him without telling anyone. Be careful before someone uses you to launder m*ney.
ReplyDeletePoster this is it...… pure money lauder why do you think he picked a cousin from his mom's side? Different surname and less easy to track simple yea! because his kids bear similar last name with him so he cant use them. He will sell that property in your name after sometime, so it's up to you to accept it and request for a share incase problems come tomorrow at least you ate inside or reject it and free your self from future wahalah.
DeleteThis!!!!!
DeleteCriminal - is the only reasonable explanation for his action.
DeleteMoney laundering
Hiding of stolen money
Hiding of money bigger than legitimate income even if not stolen (e.g. money from not permitted private practice by an employee, kickbacks from risky customers, etc.)
However, the cover story needs to be taken to heart by any young man. Do not let love sweet you to ignore the reality of it. Invest when young so you can afford personal care when old. Women tend to abandon husbands at old age. This is both empirically provable and proverbial.
There's a reason this man knows he will be abandoned during the Omugwo season. He should continue!
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteHis reasons are valid but if he is a good person, you can help him and keep the secret.
ReplyDeleteOne elder man one's told me dat no matter what someone tells me and ask me not to tell anyone, that I should tell one person so that the person will be a witness, tell your mother and one of your sibling because of tomorrow which is unknown.
ReplyDeleteThis is a dilemma. But if he is a politician, that’s how Dey do, but still. Be careful, uneasy lies the head that wears the crown.
ReplyDeleteBut he can always buy it with his kids names too, Give him that idea, so you can be free, but if he insists, then a secret should be kept a secret.
ReplyDeleteBased on his story, he cannot do it in his child's name. Question is why not in his sibling's name?
DeleteI hope he didn’t get into some financial crime, cos if he did, the would do some assets tracing and reveal the beneficial owner of the property. Both of u would run into trouble wt the law.
ReplyDeleteThank you for the comment.
DeleteYou might up in prison.
I don't support this at all. Unless he has embezzled the money and looking for where to hide assets, this is the only logical reason why he is demanding this level of secrecy. The money he is using is not legit.
ReplyDeleteIt depends on the person you married. How can you be thinking such a thing about your lovely family? It really depends. Thank God men in my family no dey die young.
ReplyDeleteBecareful let it not be your life he's buying. Run away from people who say don't tell your mother/wife.
ReplyDeleteIt's either he knows he didn't treat his family right and is afraid of the future or he's doing something shady. Either way, becareful not to fall victim.
Make una rest this treat family right alibi for wicked wives or their wicked families.
DeleteTill a man finally rest, he must treat his wife well by her demands to be assured of peace.
Doing right in marriage is like a treadmill walk. There is no good yesterday. Only a good today.
Decades old marriages ended because of a tail end mistake or alleged misdeed, and some wives have been known to take their full pound of flesh together with all drops of blood from the man.
Note I did not say the misdeed or mistake is that of the man or the woman. It coupld be by either.
But who is stopping men from going for omugwo? I have needed help since I birth my first child, my mum’s papers are still in process but my dad is able to come. Has he offered to even come help for two weeks? Never! Infact I had to return to Nigeria for my mum to do late omugwo when I couldn’t take it anymore.
ReplyDeleteCan most Nigerian men do the work involved in omugwo? People that could not even take care of their kids in their prime, talk more of taking care of their grandkids when they are older. Do they think omugwo is play? Or enjoyment?
Again, you generalize.
DeleteMy neighbour was stopped at the British High Commission.
He was told bluntly that they did not see him returning.
Only the wife went for the wedding ceremonies, stayed the full yards of the visa, went for the Omugwuo and stayed the full yards of the visa.
I know how much of my money went into his hands as unpaid loans for the family when they were struggling before his son and the young woman who is a UK citizen met.
The lazy man in the house tale is the flip side of the financially non-contributing wife tale.
None is totally correct. Some wives are the financially pillars of their family just as some husbands are the chore doers of their families in addition to providing all finances for the family.
A son trained, can do all things as well as a daughter trained. It is culture that says women should be trained for child care and men for income earning. It is not so in the Bible.
More men do omugwuo chores than we know. The only one they generally do not do is bathing the child
Women should stop revenge abandonment of husbands in the name of omugwuo
Men should learn to stop emptying themselves in marriage that encourages their abandonment.
Is it that don't understand this chronicle? Because the reasons given by your cousin for wanting to buy the house in your name doesn't make sense, if he feels that way then he should be buying properties in his own name then. If he's envisaging betrayal from his wife/children na you he trust pass? Something is not right and i don't think you should agree to this.
ReplyDeleteUpon reading this chronicle, I reflected to myself, "This individual's confidence and trust in you are exceptionally high."
ReplyDeleteIf you ultimately concur, I implore you, please do not disappoint him. I beg of you, with the utmost sincerity, do not betray his trust.
My concern lies in the trust he has placed in you, juxtaposed with the inherent uncertainties of life.
Furthermore, is every aspect of your life known to your mother? Why should this particular matter be any different? Should individuals refrain from confiding in you henceforth?
Hanya!
Only if you know in your heart that he has a good heart.
ReplyDeleteAnything aside that,.....do what comes to your mind.
Abi na prank?
ReplyDeletePrank? 😂
DeleteI work with one of the anti corruption agencies in naija, and believe me, this is the pattern. They never ever buy properties or register companies in their names, they use proxy. U r his proxy right now. And when they come for him they would eventually trace it down to u. Be careful
ReplyDeleteTell your mother and don't tell the man that you told her because you might need a witness against his family tomorrow.please don't listening to him about keeping it secret and since you are single does he mean you won't marry please reject that believe
ReplyDeletePoster don't agree to his proposal, I have a feeling that the money isn't genuine, that's why he's looking for sacrificial lamb that will fall into trouble when yawa gas, forget about all his excuses.
ReplyDeleteI don't buy your Cousin's reasons for wanting to buy in your name, pls be sure your Cousin isn't into financial crimes and looking for a diversion.
ReplyDeleteHe could be a kidnapper and he might want to use the ransom money to avoid been linked to him.
Pls be very careful tell him to buy in his kids name.
I would definitely tell my mother if it's were me. Sounds too suspicious
ReplyDeleteWhether you accept or not, do not tell anybody. Keep his confidences. Take it as sure that whoever you tell will tell and so on till he gets into trouble and it will come back to you. End this discussion with you and tell him so.
ReplyDeletePoster why do you want to tell your mother? Are you a child? You want to cause conflict?? Geez!! Your cousin confided in you and you are wondering if to tell your mum. Be quiet pls
ReplyDelete