I have a neighbor near my shop who sells hair(different types..both human and non human...na una sabi). Whenever I decide to travel to lagos to restock, she is always asking me to drop my key. She sells for me and my things no dey lost at all because it's quantifiable. I'm this kinda person, whenever i go out, even before she started helping me out, i buy things and give to her and her two sons. At times, i can buy them snacks , beverages etc based on how much i can spare....
Recently, i stopped because i realised some funny attitude. She is now fond of asking me whatever i get for them even when i tell her I'm rich, she will say it with boldness that"am I not ashamed coming back home without buying anything for them".
When she started this act, i was thinking she was just being funny and jovial but later I realized it's her way of life. Even my wife will always(i mean almost everyday get them something when coming from her office) and "we"(my wife and I) have never for once gotten anything from them. Whenever she celebrates birthday or the two handsome sons, we are the ones gifting them and also gifting them when we also celebrate ours(this has been my nature cuz i love kids and i can go any length for them)
When I stopped buying the lady things and the children, i purposely did to know her reaction and also life no be like before. Presently, I'm observing a six(6) weeks practicum and i close around 5pm - 6pm, so, I only have an hour plus to open my shop.
When I stopped buying the lady things and the children, i purposely did to know her reaction and also life no be like before. Presently, I'm observing a six(6) weeks practicum and i close around 5pm - 6pm, so, I only have an hour plus to open my shop.
So, i still keep dropping my shop keys. But i realized she doesn't open my shop again because i stopped buying them things (first, things have changed and I'm rich coupled with something I'm spending money on which is taking away everything I have). She knows the exact time i close, so, once it's few minutes to 5pm, she opens my shop, at times, she won't even bother but she never knew my customers always call to tell me they are at my shop but i might be in a workshop or meeting with the Registrar and provost, so, i will just tell them till I'm back and you know what it means(they have to go to another place).
My customers are the ones giving me info that my shop is closed and whenever I'm chanced, i just take permission, and mount on a bike, straight to the shop to attend to any customer there.
So, on monday, i decided not to drop my key because it's of no importance. When i came back from Practicum on monday, she gave me attitude and i pretended not to see and I've decided not to even ask her or discuss anything about it. Someone who is always coming to me on Sunday to pick the Gen I've at the shop to operate her washing machine at home twice in a month but i stopped giving it to her when she spoilt it and brought it to me that way. I repaired it myself because God gave me the knowledge and the parts i bought alone was close to 20k ...
Now, she has stopped talking to me, she doesn't greet me and finds it difficult to even reply when i exchange pleasantries. This is what I keep saying. Loyalty is not transactional, it's a purposeful action from you or anyone who truly wants you and want the best for you. Anyone who is loyal and wants to do things for you all because you give them something then such person is not loyal because when they see a better option, they will sell you out to your enemies.
Ire ooooo
So, on monday, i decided not to drop my key because it's of no importance. When i came back from Practicum on monday, she gave me attitude and i pretended not to see and I've decided not to even ask her or discuss anything about it. Someone who is always coming to me on Sunday to pick the Gen I've at the shop to operate her washing machine at home twice in a month but i stopped giving it to her when she spoilt it and brought it to me that way. I repaired it myself because God gave me the knowledge and the parts i bought alone was close to 20k ...
Now, she has stopped talking to me, she doesn't greet me and finds it difficult to even reply when i exchange pleasantries. This is what I keep saying. Loyalty is not transactional, it's a purposeful action from you or anyone who truly wants you and want the best for you. Anyone who is loyal and wants to do things for you all because you give them something then such person is not loyal because when they see a better option, they will sell you out to your enemies.
Ire ooooo
Some people are only nice to you because of what they are benefitting from you.....
ReplyDeleteSo true.
DeleteSometime it is better not to start what you can't finished. It has become her right as per you doing assistant husband to her, she's very very proud and ungrateful . Just ignore her entitlement mentality and face front.
ReplyDeleteThank you
DeleteI think she became entitled
ReplyDeleteTrue, the lady has an attitude problem, a desperate transactional mindset.
ReplyDeleteAt the same time, if you want people to work for or with you, pay them within a stipulated agreement. You have asked her to run 2 shops- yours and whatever she was doing previously, even if it's just moping. You should have sat her down, had a clear agreement and agreed on rates instead of the odd and informal approach of a gift and snack here and loaning a device there.
In terms of niceness, genuine hello and hi is enough for neighbours. You don't have to know each others birthdays or exchange gifts. You don't have to compete with the children's uncles and aunts. It's best to keep a distance than to sour the relationship with unmet expectations and simmering resentment.
This is also similar to cases of the "rich" sibling abroad who accused his siblings of stealing from him in the name of house construction - you have given someone a job that prevents him from finding or focusing on a job. Have a set rate so you have a right to complain and can demand service and accountability. This person could be paid a lower rate to give feedback while you pay an engineer and other professionals to deliver. Being penny wise has it's consequences.
Well analysed.
DeleteShe is a fair-weather person. Let it remain like that.
ReplyDeleteShe's just being entitled.You can get a sales person, if you're losing much from your absence and you can afford to pay.Forget the woman and her malice
ReplyDeleteEven sales person has to be done prayerfully oooo
DeleteBut some parents will even try to limit what others give to their children so they do not grow up expecting to be given things.
ReplyDeleteThis is how good things go sour over time. Anybody with a tit for tat personality will always have problems with people.
Such a classic parable on misplaced generosity and the fine print of unspoken agreements. What started as neighbourly goodwill quietly turned into an unsustainable barter economy - snacks for shop access, favours for loyalty. But humans aren’t vending machines; press the button enough and some will start charging you. Your silence may feel like the high road, but it’s not a strategy.
ReplyDeleteHer entitlement didn’t grow in a vacuum; it was watered by the regularity of your giving, without boundaries or clarity. But if we must be honest: when giving feels compulsory, it breeds quiet resentment. You gave from the heart, but hearts don’t print receipts. Next time, write the terms down - in ink, not assumption, which you allowed to cloud your mind.
Now the shop is suffering, not from theft, but from misplaced trust and lack of structure. Biko, you’ve outgrown this casual setup. Hire someone. Pay them. Hold them accountable. And you’re not wicked for stepping back. You’re just learning that kindness without boundaries invites entitlement. That woman didn’t change. She just stopped pretending once the freebies dried up. No need to beg for what you never owed. Your peace shouldn’t be up for negotiation.
Just keep her far,I hate ungrateful people,so with all this hunger and hardship, she's blind abi?
ReplyDeletePinky, its good you ignored her, she will come back to her senses. But don't leave your keys with her or anyone again pls. To avoid stories that touch. God will bring customer that with bless your business 👏
ReplyDeleteYou sef face front.
ReplyDeleteLike the saying.... Some peoples's loyalty is tied only to their stomach .
ReplyDeleteShe has shown you ger true self Pinky. Na looooong spoon make you give her o
I feel she will come back to her senses soon
ReplyDelete