Hmmmm......
ADVICE NEEDED
Please I need advice, help me analyze this situation.
Assume a situation where the man never denied a pregnancy,was there in every step of the way but never allowed the woman stay with him or know his place
(village) or any member of his family.
He also prefers the woman staying in her father's house throughout the nine months,kept visiting but never for one day said anything about the pregnancy to the woman's family.
He just visits and goes without saying I'm responsible for the pregnancy,I will come so so time or let's wait for her to give birth first.
Does such a man have still have a claim legally over the child since he didn't go the right way of marriage?
Does such a man have still have a claim legally over the child since he didn't go the right way of marriage?
Marriage? You dey talk of Marriage? That man is a spirit Oooooooooooooooooh he cannot show you what he does not have nah...When the time is right, he will direct you to his family house and vanish....
How in heavens name will you be having unprotected gbenshing with a man you know nothing about?
As for your question, he doesnt need to marry you to lay claim to his child, if in doubt and a DNA test shows that he is the father, then he is the father, no contest.
Just get ready to train that child alone cos the man will disappear one day. I will advice you to tell someone to trace him home anyday he came visiting.
ReplyDeleteI suggest woman's family should sit him down and ask him the important questions, since he is not speaking up on his own.
ReplyDeleteOn one of his visits, the girl's parents should invite him into the sitting room for a discussion, and then ask him questions about his intentions for their daughter. The girl should also be present during this discussion.
This suggestion is tactful and might yield result to help you find clarity.
DeleteHe mustn't marry you. You have become a baby mama until he decides to go legal with you or he is already married and you have to remain a secret.
Don't you know any of his friends or work place?
Safe delivery.
This suggestion is tactful and might yield result to help you find clarity.
DeleteHe mustn't marry you. You have become a baby mama until he decides to go legal with you or he is already married and you have to remain a secret.
Don't you know any of his friends or work place?
Safe delivery.
You don't know his place or his people and you got preggy. When we say abstinence, you call us names.
ReplyDeleteThis could have been avoided. Laws and rules are there to protect us not to prevent us from enjoyment.
Premarital Segs, changes everything.
The main focus should be about the woman’s priorities and discipline in this context,because for the woman to be able to have Segz,get pregnant and never knew anything about the man she fell pregnant for,from the start?
ReplyDeleteShe has a very low self esteem of herself,and needs to work on that,because it speaks so much about how she can settle for just anything and anybody..
Something as deep as Segz,pregnancy? A child?
Make better choices in life next time,you are responsible for your choices and decisions as an adult,and you can’t be part of an action,then try to play victim at the consequences.
I wish “The woman” all the best,and yes he has every right to claim his child if DNA states that,marriage or not,acknowledgement or not..
@MARTINS
I dey "tells" you
DeleteVery low self esteemed
Sis. Did he promise you marriage before the pregnancy? Was there any marriage talk ever between the two of you? Did he give you an ultimatum that pregnancy or no marriage? If you answer yes to these questions then your question is valid. If not, please he has not then stop expecting him to.
ReplyDeleteWhichever way, his child is his child.
Give the child your own family name and that should settle everything. You were given a name at birth, so give the child your family name and keep it pushing. The man is completely ambivalent about the entire thing and likely already married or set to be married elsewhere. He intentionally ensured that you don’t know where he is from so you can’t show up unannounced and disturb his life. Please stop looking in his direction, if he has not claimed the child as his own or spoken on you then he is simply doing charity, nothing else. Maybe he is from that village that Teejay mentioned last week, Baguma or whatever it’s called, where women stay in their father’s house and never marry the man who made them pregnant🤷🏽♀️Please relocate when and if if you are ever able to do so.
ReplyDeleteSeek divine wisdom on how to provide for yourself and your child. If you need more education go get it, if you need to learn a skill go seek it. You must position yourself to be self sufficient and financially capable.
@16:46
Delete... I pray sense falls on you next year, so that you won't just get up to insult a tribe you know next to nothing about, based on the vituperations of an SDK troll with identity crisis.
Are you a child? How did you manage to get pregnant for somebody you know nothing about?
ReplyDeleteI don't understand. Are there no elders in that house? Does no one in the poster's house care enough about her to question who the pregnancy is for? They are just watching their daughter's belly blow up and they are all dandy and fine? Is this something of a normal occurrence in that household?
ReplyDeleteThe man might be married already and is just stringing the poster along. I don't see anyway this will turn out well for her.
But what are they to do? He has not claimed knowledge of her intimately or accepted the child as his own, what are the parents to do but continue to love her a welcome their grandchild?
DeleteSomeone you know nothing about and here you are talking Marriage. 🙆🏻Some of My gender eeehn, na wa!!
ReplyDeleteOne question please. Where were you doing the s#x?
ReplyDeleteToo creepy for my liking
ReplyDeleteMy advice is for young women reading this, please learn from the mistakes of others. Flee fornication, do not be anyone's baby mother. Marry first, then have your children. Because parenting is hard, even within the confines of a marriage, talkless of alone. If you get pregnant without a marriage, be ready to parent and shoulder financial and emotional responsibilities for the child alone cos that is the most likely outcome. This is a patriarchal society oh, the law will not favour you. Secondly, expecting marriage because of pregnancy was 1975. This is 2025. Marry first, so that your kids will have a valid and legal name and home. No matter what he tells you, close your legs well and put yourself first.
ReplyDeleteSame thing happened to me...it took 4yrs after our child arrived before he informed his parents and by then our relationship already disintegrated. My advice, focus on raising your child let him contribute financially...don't force the marriage thing it will happen if it was meant to be.
ReplyDeleteTake a moment to understand your culture, most of you won't. Bringing up cultural issues as chronicles. Travel home and ask your elders what is to be done. There are protocols to accepting a child. Every child MUST have an identity. It's not a social media issue.
ReplyDelete