HUSBAND WITH ABUSIVE BEHAVIOUR
My husband displayed abusive behavior towards me weeks back and i have been sleeping in my room since without a care in the world.
I am too old to tolerate some rubbish. till he apologies let everyone stay on their lane.
I hate when a man thinks that buying you something is apology. an apology is admitting that what you did is wrong and it hurts the other party, period.
for now normal courtesy and serve your meals is enough abeg. marriage is not by force. women stop tolerating too much from these men who think marrying you is doing you a favour.
Madam did you collect the gifts or not? if you did then you have accepted the apology...Take the next step by sitting down to talk with him or first sending him a long detailed message on WhatsApp, wait for it to sink in and then approach him for a talk.....
He may not know how to apologise with words....Tell him outrightly to apologise verbally and stop all this drama of overdoing it....All what you are seeing now, there were signs before but you overlooked.....Be the mature one abeg you.
i guess he has been buying you gift instead of apologizing but now you want him to stop or get the message. You need to communicate with him before you start giving him that attitude, something he is not used it and you are expecting him to get the message. No way mama, you should sit him down and communicate deeply with him, he is your husband and whatever you don't like just air it out and you both make up.
ReplyDeletePlease staying in a separate rooms because you both have an argument will not solve issues but rather you are creating a space for long time problem. You should never stay in separate rooms with your husband because of anything. Why will you both wait for days before resolving an issue, learn to resolve any issue with your husband same day. stop giving rooms for the devil to increase your argument or fight.
Madam, stop bringing your bad energy marriage into our intentional marriages. We are all different and want different things. Women this, women that……..mtcheeeew
DeleteI'm even surprised Stella was patient enough to advise you. See eh, I don't care what your husband did. Your reaction shows you are extremely immature and not ready for marriage.
ReplyDeleteYour own never join complete and you are advising other women to destroy their marriages. If dem born you well, comot from your husband house before you give useless and stupid advice to other women.
Rubbish.
Sense run from you
DeleteYou dey mind her,she go collect better gbenshing this night come here dey deceive herself,nonsense and ingredients 😙
DeleteMadam go and have mutual communication with your your hubby, collect gift and enter house
Next🙄
But she hasnt left her marriage nor has she advised anyone here to leave theirs...in fact she still dey cook for the man..you men are spoilt brats!
Delete@Stella, Gbam! that's the best answer for her.
ReplyDeleteMadam, you give this advice only if you did it and it worked well for you. He gave you gifts, remaining the apology. If you are intolerant enough, you wouldn't have collected the gift so that next time he will get clear memo that gift is nothing without apology.
ReplyDeleteKpele
ReplyDeleteYou put yourself in that position that made him think he's doing you a favor. Maybe you are not financially capable. If he were in a relationship with Oprah, a gift would be the last thing on his mind when you guys are fighting.
ReplyDeleteMy gender 🤣
ReplyDeleteI hope that it wasn’t only after this behaviour reached you that you started to care. Some ppl are abusive to everyone, especially those who are subservient to them, children, animals, or ppl they feel are lessers. If you have been seeing this abusive pattern and did not speak up then you are complicit in the abuse. A wife should never turn her back to her husband’s ill treatment of anyone or anything on the earth.
ReplyDeleteIf this is the first time this has happened then you need to tell someone you trust, so someone else knows. If it was physical or threats were made to life or possible harm to you or the children then leave the marriage.
Men and women behave differently. A man says I am sorry in different ways without verbalising it.
ReplyDeleteIf he has refused to talk about it. Try and initiate the discussion. Two cannot make a right.
Madam dey play oooo. How many years of marriage? This one buys shebi? Shior. 🙄🙄🙄
ReplyDeleteI’m not sure why we are judging you without knowing what he did
ReplyDeleteThere are some offenses that a gift will not solve
You are still cooking for him and they are acting like you’re the enemy here
You’re still upset and you’re just human
Give yourself some time and also try asking him for a verbal apology
We are all raised differently
Me I don’t wait for sorry
Marriage no easy rara..the things wey people dey face inside marriage ehn!
ReplyDeleteJust do wetin go make you happy. PERIODT!
Take Stella advice and revert to us.
ReplyDeleteNothing makes marriage easy and fighting your partner if DV is not involved,won't bring positive result.
Communication!
Take Stella advice and revert to us.
ReplyDeleteNothing makes marriage easy and fighting your partner if DV is not involved,won't bring positive result.
Communication!
Mtcheeww..
ReplyDeleteStart by telling us the whole thing that happened before he 'abused' you, cos sometimes some of you provoke someone and then judge his reaction.
That's how sometimes back this babe called, I missed her call cos I was driving, only for me to call back and she was ignoring my call, I didn't even have any idea that it was because I missed her call, I kept calling and was worried that she's alright, only for werey to tell me that shebi I missed her call earlier, the was I got mad ehn.. asin just imagine, so whenever you call, I must leave everything I'm doing and answer? And I didn't even have any idea you were mad, you sat down watching all my call ring, reading all my messages and ignoring? Omo I first tell am say she dey very stupid.. na so she dey talk say I abuse am..
She you dey see as some of Una dey behave..was now expecting me to apologise.. God forbid..
So madam, play the tape of what happened, how it happened.. your husband is not a mad man that will just be insulting you for no reason.. or is he?
Any little thing in your family,you run to social media for advice. What do you except? And very soon there would be lots of social problems from all this break up as Nigeria does not have social safety net to address children that lack financial support from broke down families .
ReplyDeleteMake you De collect big big gift, tell am say the gift small.
ReplyDeleteHahahahaha abi oo.
DeleteTwo wrongs can never make a right. For marriages to succeed we ought to forgive and avoid keeping grudges for those are tools of the devil.
ReplyDeleteYes, do shakara for your hubby but pls not for too long so you wouldn't ruin your home.
Forgive for peace sake.
If he's making attempt to say he's sorry, doesn't that account for something? Let's learn to be lenient sometimes
ReplyDeleteBut you no comot for the marriage and you dey collect gifts.. na una dey do unasef. You Dey advice other women make them no tolerate nonsense but you still dey the marriage o dey collect gifts and poran
ReplyDeleteAt least he is meeting you halfway, i.e the gifts 😁. Nne, communicate. This men are wired differently from us. Some are verbal to some extent, while some express what they want to say through actions. Find a way for you guys to talk and know ways that you can use to be there for each other, especially in resolving conflict fast to avoid escalation. Because why, this is just one and many other little disagreements might still pop. Make your home how you want it, with positive communication and forgiveness. Na this kain "me sef no go gree" mind ehn, devil go sip wine and grin join
ReplyDelete