UNDER PRESSURE
I’ve been dating my babe for about four years now......
Before we started dating, there was a time when I was out of a job. The company had closed down, and my boss didn’t pay my salary for that month.
My girlfriend was sending me money for upkeep every month until I got a good job, and this continued for almost a year. While I appreciate everything she did for me during that period, I feel pressured....
My girlfriend was sending me money for upkeep every month until I got a good job, and this continued for almost a year. While I appreciate everything she did for me during that period, I feel pressured....
how do I put it? I feel pressured to marry her.
Now that I’m stable and doing better and considering settling down, she’s not my dream woman for marriage, since marriage is forever. But I feel I’ll be betraying her if I don’t marry her.
I’m confused.
I’m confused.
Mind you, that she’s the only one I’m dating currently. I don’t know if anyone has been in my shoes before,man or woman and the situation turned out better.
DO NOT MARRY HER!!!.....Any marriage done under pressure crashes under pressure ...The way you feel is also how some Ladies when a man does something for them and expects marriage in return.....
You cannot have a conversation with her on this, if you want out, Initiate something that will make her breakup with you and dont agree to make up....With the way you sound if you marry her like this eh, you will push her to Chike......
Make i borrow you bad advice....Maybe you can ask her friend out or something..lol
Now you realise she is not your dream woman, but when she stood by you, when you were out of a job, you kept quiet. 4 freaking years. You are a wicked creature.
ReplyDeleteVery wicked somebody.
DeleteThank u. What a wicked thought! He better be careful; he's planning a journey of regret.
Delete@KSB Truth
When you where out of job she.by your side and sending you money but you did not notice that she's not your dream wife but now that your finance is stable, you now realise she's not your type..
DeleteClap for yourself for yourself and by yourself.
Mean man
Before I tell you the kind craze wey dey ur head, let me first state some points
ReplyDelete*You were out of job
*You had no money for food and clothing
*She did everything for good one year.
From the above point , you were seeing her as a wife material because she was footing your bills but now that, you are made, she is no longer your taste..Bros, ur craze no fit heal..ajeh.
Don't gt it twisted, I'm not saying you should marry whom your heart doesn't go with but your cognitive and that your affective domain should have told you before now that, she isn't good for you. At least, by then, you should have called Ita quit and let her know before she starts spending on you..
I can't support you on this and can't even advice you sir..You are the architect of you wahala
Becos that's what you would have done if it were you, come on getat!
DeleteBut when you were broke and could not feed, she was your ideal woman.
ReplyDeleteNow that you have stabilised, after DATING FOR FOUR YEARS, all of a sudden she is not your type of woman.
Elenu bebelube.
There are several names for men like you. I can't be bothered to type them because Stella will not even agree.
Hmmmm
ReplyDeleteWhatever you do, do not ghost her!! Please sit her down and tell you are not that into her.
There is no easy way to do this but be gentle as can be.
Kai
Do I blame you? Na women wey nor wan wear iron pants I blame. Understanding girl friend in the mud. Stop giving boyfriend's the benefit of a husband, they would not hear. Now see. EK Guru.
ReplyDeleteNa waoh! How I dislike men like you poster. 4 good years and you are just discovery she is not the woman you want to marry. I feel like cussing you. May you meet your waterloo
ReplyDeleteMen that know from day one if a woman is for marriage. Every married man said they knew from the very start when they met their wives, every single one of them.
DeleteBut you are not under pressure when she was supporting and spending on you. Yeye dey smell.
ReplyDeleteLadies, In whatever you do, please always chose yourself. Men have short memory. In my own case, I married my now ex when he had no job and emptied my fixed account for him to buy a car for Uber. I was managing with him in one room that I couldn't let my family come visiting so they wont mock me. Immediately he got a job and they made him a branch manager was when Oga met his spec.
ReplyDeletePlease know that God has seen your tears and read your heart. You will be victorious. Give yourself the best of everything that you can and take care of you.
DeleteThank you Anon 15:59. I have picked up myself and I am bouncing back
DeleteIt is well dear 🤗🤗🤗
DeleteMay God wipe away your tears and comfort you on every side
She helped you when you needed it, now that all is well with you, you're complaining of being under pressure to marry.
ReplyDeleteWhy didn't you reject her help then? This is how some people get married to who will stress them in life. Na wa!
"Now that I’m stable and doing better and considering settling down, she’s not my dream woman for marriage"
ReplyDelete4 years and you just realized that she is not your dream woman after she has done all wifey duties for you now you want to test another brand new one. may you meet that exact woman that is your dream woman and may you both stay happily forever.
I don kuku talk say nothing when go make my #1 wen wash enter man hand. If I dey cry make I know say na just the wasted years I dey cry for. Money wen she for dey give her mama every month to take eat
You are ingrate. When things weren't going well, you didn't talk about dream woman then, she was offering you comfort, you were collecting thereby giving her false hope. Now that you are okay financial suddenly you can't settle down with her. My advice is for you to tell her now, free her from continually hoping she's building something, it will definitely be painful but she will eventually move on. But I pray she never meet your type again in Jesus name 🙏.
ReplyDeleteKai you are mean oo please think this very well to avoid karma tomorrow
ReplyDeleteSo many women won’t do what that lady did for you even if they are in good positions.Her type isn’t common.
ReplyDeleteYou lead her on to believe you guys had a future only to cook this tales by moonlight story..
Your healing will be long especially when you meet the one that will show you shege banza.
Most of you men don’t deserve anything good ; cuz the moment it appears ,so does you true colours.
Ladies be careful who you understand with..no be all of them Dey pay.
Why didn’t you break up with her when you lost your job? You must have known that she was not your dream woman from within the first month that you met her, yet you strung her along for four whole years. You didn’t just wake up one date with an epiphany that she was not your marriage spec, you have known this from day one. You used her bodily and financially, now that you have ran her through and through you want something fresh. Tell the truth and it shall set you free, you want to upgrade now that you are in a position to. The pressure that you feel is your own internal guilt. Nobody is pressuring you, it’s the foulness of your being that you are facing and realizing you are just what you are, a user and a time waster.
ReplyDeleteIf you feel guilty then give her back with interest everything she gave to you when you were down and out and move on. At least don’t let her lose in every single way. Give her a recompense for the deception and not being able to give her marriage and security. Next time stand in your truth and live it. People are not here for you to use and toss aside.
Dear Poster, what goes around comes around. what you sow is what you reap.
ReplyDeleteYou are selfish, wicked, self centred. Who is pressuring you to marry? So what where you doing around her for many years when you knew she was not your spec? You knew she wasn't the one or wasn't up to and you still collected money from her steady for a year and more. How selfish and wicked can that be? You knew all the time, but you never told her this would not end in marriage.
so it is not the fault of many ladies who stay with guys who give them false hope. Walk away but you will get paid. You can be sure of that.
You’re just ungrateful.
ReplyDeleteIt took you 4 years to discover she is not your spec, what happened to telling her earlier so she could have gone into another relationship that will lead to marriage or her spec. You’re not a good person and you’re someone who’s got a short memory when you don’t need people anymore.
Send me her number, I will help you tell her you are no longer interested.
ReplyDeleteWhatever you decide, all I want to tell you is that you should speak the truth to her no matter how uncomfortable it makes both of you to feel.
Some people wey dey mad for street na this kain thing dey cause am. You think sey na only you wicked. After wasting her time for few years (as you commonize am).
ReplyDeleteChukwu a kpo gi oku!
ReplyDeletesuddenly she is not your dream woman but she have been your dream woman when you had no job, money, when she was taking care of you and sending you money for upkeep. You think you will go free for wasting her time, spending her money, using her to catch feelings. From day one did you tell her no marriage or you have promised her marriage ?
ReplyDeleteIf you have told her no marriage and she did all of that based on friendship, i don't think you will be asking of what to do or be under pressure. You have chopped enough from her, if you decide to end it with her in a wrong way. You go collect am from every side, just make sure you sort things out with her well but i am not okay with you trying to dump her after all the time and effort she put in.
I Love Men like you 😉You know why?
ReplyDeleteIt's your type that end up with terrible Jezebels in the name of Spec 😁
Devil will package the spec that will deal with you for dishonouring that kind hearted lady. If you dont sincerely end amicably with her rather than tagging her along .
The heart of Man kaiii 🤔
How can any woman date a man for four years without marriage?
ReplyDeleteI no blame you hunku.
Tell her the truth, anything your eye see after you leave her, take am like that
And you will be using the babe to cure konji o😩😩 for 4years. I weep.
ReplyDeleteThe moment we ladies realise that most men( not all o) won’t want to marry a woman who was with them in their most vulnerable (broke, jobless, homeless etc) state, the better for all of us. I don’t know if it’s their pride, ego or the fact that they don’t want someone who knows too much negative stuff about them.
ReplyDeleteI’ve seen this played out so many times and the end is usually not palatable. Those that ended up getting married treated the ladies with so much disdain that everyone knew they married the women to avoid world people palaver but wished they were with someone else.
An average man desires to be his babes knight in shining armour so when the equation shifts, it leads to unpalatable consequences.
Na wa..una dey try for this wickedness of a thing o
ReplyDeleteWhen you were out of job she was by your side and sending you money but you did not notice that she's not your dream wife but now that your finance is stable, you now realise she's not your type..
ReplyDeleteYou are wicked and will suffer for giving her false hope.
Clap for yourself for yourself and by yourself.
Mean man.
I pray God remember her,so she will leave your sorry ass.
Oga , reward her kindness by gifting her a huge sum of money. Then, end the relationship. Never marry out of pity or pressure. It won't favour the both of you.
ReplyDeleteWhat she did for you came from love, not a contract for marriage. You should appreciate and respect her deeply for standing by you, but marriage should never be based on guilt or repayment.
ReplyDeleteThe real question is simple: if she never helped you financially, would you still want to marry her?
If the answer is no, don’t waste her time. Be honest. It’s better to hurt someone with the truth now than hurt them more later with a marriage built on obligation instead of genuine conviction. Na you go still carry your cross either way...
That's why people say never trust the love of a broke man, most of them are with you because they can't afford their spec, they're just managing you, immediately they pick up financially, they left you for their spec.
ReplyDeleteUncle, me I will not advise you to marry her out of pity, just let her know immediately that you don't love her enough to wife her, free her and let her go, but one thing I know and very sure of is that God will reward you and her accordingly.
Go through your bank statements for the period of time you were down and she gave you financial assistance;calculate everything and reimburse her back..
ReplyDeleteThis act doesn’t take away the fact that you are a user;but please don’t marry this young lady out of pity,because there is a long way to go in marriage;and there comes a phase where the only thing that would keep you two stuck to each other is true love,which you don’t have to give to her.
So reimburse her everything she spent on you;so she won’t lose her money as she is letting you go;because that’s the right thing for you to do;if you still have a little conscience.
And yea;you know she was doing all those things for you because she expected marriage;so you wouldn’t have taken that financial assistance since you knew she wasn’t your type back then;but No you “suddenly” realized because you don’t need her financial assistance anymore;and that’s the trait of a typical USER..
@MARTINS
Shame on you
ReplyDeleteWicked soul
She is not your type but you kept her for 4 whole years fucking her and eating her money.
That thing you dey find, you must see am.
Ekwensu
Me,use my money support man? Very ungrateful people
It happens. Pay her off . Like x2 of her yearly salary and call it quits
ReplyDeleteYou need to be tied to a stick and flogged like Agama lizard. She was loyal and that all it takes. If you nur marry this baby I pity for you sha.
ReplyDelete