UNSURE OF HOW TO HANDLE SITUATION
I'm a 36-year-old petite teacher of English in a school, currently giving private English lessons to a 13-year-old boy in JSS 2 who is also my student.
Before I started teaching him, another teacher had been taking him for English lessons, but according to the colleague who connected the teacher to him, he was usually unhappy during those lessons.
Since I began teaching him, however, he has been very eager and often comes to meet me in my office on time, where we usually hold the lessons after the school’s extra classes.
After a few days into the lessons, he became noticeably restless one day and said he wanted to tell me something. He repeatedly asked me to promise not to tell anyone; he must have repeated it over a hundred times.
At first, I was hesitant and told him we could discuss it another time, but eventually I encouraged him to say whatever was on his mind.
He then asked me whether I liked anyone in the school. I answered no. After that, he told me that he liked me as his teacher. I simply responded that I liked him too as my student, and we ended the lesson for the day.
He then asked me whether I liked anyone in the school. I answered no. After that, he told me that he liked me as his teacher. I simply responded that I liked him too as my student, and we ended the lesson for the day.
Then, yesterday,after the lesson, he followed me outside the school premises. Since another teacher was still teaching his sister, I told him to go back. At that point, he told me that he likesd me and wanted me to be his girlfriend.
I was shocked, so I ended the conversation and told him we would discuss it another time.
At this point, I am unsure how to handle the situation appropriately.
At this point, I am unsure how to handle the situation appropriately.
Hahahahahahahaha isnt this what that President did with his teacher????First off please dont tell anyone and also call him into your office and have a talk with him...Tell him the consequences of what his actions might result....
Please do not abandon him oh he needs guidance cos his mates have probbly corrupted his mind or it might be from home.....Remember that if it is not you, he will toast someone else..Also remember that he may be trying to initiate gbenshing but was told he has to toast first....
If you report him and it is handled by the school and his parents, he will close up and you wont be able to help him again..
Have conversations with him and find out where this mindset is coming from....
please tell him nothing of that sort can happen AT ALL. To do so would be you abusing him. The boy obviously has a teenage crush on you and his crush needs to be directed to someone his own age.
ReplyDeletePlease start by asking him if he had a girlfriend before?
ReplyDeleteThen ask if he liked anyone before.
After which ask what he has done with anyone he likes before .
Then ask why he didn't like his former teacher.
Ask why he thinks he needs a girlfriend and what he thinks girlfriends and boyfriends do
Please make it as mild and comfortable for him to open up and speak
This is trying to ensure this child hasn't been abu.sed in anyway .
Then you can proceed to advise him
OP, you are 36 and he is 13. What's there to discuss another time? The action before you is clear cut. Terminate whatever teaching arrangements you have with that student and never discuss the matter with anyone.
ReplyDeleteHe is a kid with raging hormones and doesn't have the presence of mind to even understand his emotions. I can understand that extra cash makes a bit of a difference in the current economy but the downsides to remaining a tutor to that child far outweighs any monetary benefits.
If this is a step too far for you, maybe arrange to have your man (you have one don't you?) always come pick you up when you close and make sure the kid knows you have a man. That should cool him off.
I don't know where kids in school these days get the guts. In my day, any kid that stupid would have been hung from the roof and flogged senseless.
I concur.
DeleteHe is just13 years old FGS. The boy needs help, this is not the time to abandon him, we are not even talking about the money here. The teacher needs to find out many things about him that could have made a 13 year old say such to his teacher, and I totally agree with Stella's advice. You never can tell, the boy might have been exposed to adult 'thingy', been abused or anything. Please my fellow teacher, don't abandon that boy.
DeleteThe best way to handle this kind of person is to first react in a way that would scare him. Don't make his actions look light to him. Then after that day, pull him close and talk to him in love. If you miss that first harsh reaction it will be difficult for him to erase that idea from his mindset by mere calm conversation
ReplyDeleteThe first thing I want to say is that you should always document your interactions with this child before you fall into a trap and lose your dignity.
ReplyDeleteAs the earlier poster said, have a frank sober talk with this child as an elder sister.
But in all this be prayerful, in fact I will advice you to take a fast to address this matter. You may be dealing with something more complicated than teenage crush.
36-13=23.....A child that you can give birth to is telling you romantic things and you don't understand how to handle it? Do you need public opinion to validate your action? Hmmmm... Kindly rid your mind of your pedophilia thoughts! Somebody you suppose carry Cain flog the rubbish thoughts off his mind! Mind you, he has probably told his classmates and you will definitely be an object of ridicule if you don't handle it well... Aggressively kill the thought off his head.
ReplyDeleteTalk to him.He needs guidance.And find out if he has been exposed to a situation like that.
ReplyDeleteStop teaching that boy immediately before he puts you in problems. Call his parents in the presence of another teacher and narrate their son's feelings to them. They need to be the one to counsel him. For you, stop teaching that boy.
ReplyDeleteTo add to what others have said, going forward ensure the lesson holds in an open space, don't be behind doors with him.
ReplyDeleteAs you look out for him, do so for yourself to avoid crazy stories.
Felicity
Tell him when he turns 18. He can come for you..
ReplyDeleteSo it is not a crime but he can be sending you money from now
HA! What is this?
DeleteTeach him about boundaries and that what he feels is just a fleeting emotion brought on by close contact. I am worried about his mental processing at 13. At his age he should know that you cannot be his girlfriend or be anything more than a teacher, that he still asked you tells me that he is not properly socialized. He should already know that adults and children do not have romantic relationships. I hope that he is not witnessing things at home or his community that would have him believe otherwise. Also, he may just be a child lacking in love and attention and you are probably the first adult who treated him well and he doesn’t understand it.
ReplyDeleteAsk him about his friends and socialization with his peers, he may be lacking in social skills, awkward, or on the outside of social groups at school. Encourage him to join a sport team or a club at the school so he can learn social skills and have a sense of belonging with those of his own age group.
I wouldn’t report it or take it as being anything more than a passing fancy. You were likely just respectful and nice to him and he is not used to being treated that way, maybe not even at home. Alternatively, he may be high functioning autistic or adhd or something like that, people living with these conditions usually do not have good impulse control.
Please Sit Him Down And Tell Him ,He's Just A Small Boy Who Is Being Infatuated ,That He Should Stop Watching Any Adult Movies And Following Bad Friends
ReplyDeleteGod Guidance To You Both 🙏
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HIS GOIN BE PRESIDENT FOR SURE! SAY YASS 😆 🤣
ReplyDeletePls terminate whatever engagement you have with that child before he conspires to get you in trouble. Don't attempt to help him oh! We can't help everyone. Always abort precarious situations before they manifest into full blown problems.
ReplyDeleteYou better not take this as a joke or cool with him, that child is a baby as far as I am concerned. 23 years age difference have the liver to ask his teacher out, no fear or respect again. You have to install that fear and respect in him before he goes out to day rubbish.
ReplyDeleteCounselling him is good, talking some senses into him is fine but set boundaries with him. Let him understand he is still a baby to think of such with you.
I'm a trained counsellor/Therapist, and even us, once a client show signs of being interested in you, you refer that client immediately. It is not in the poster's interest to be the same person counselling him. Refer him to the school counsellors or his parents and stop the extra classes before he finds a way to frame you when he sees you have rejected him. You have no idea what adolescents can do. That stage is critical for them. Preserve yourself and your job 1st.
Delete