On the face of it, the question has an innocuous appearance but digging deeper, it reveals a whole lot. Now where do I start from? I can be very brutal in my analysis and I have no apologies whatsoever for writing what I'm about to. My field of f*cks to give lays barren as it is.
To the man who asks what his woman brings to the table, has he ever paused to consider that the 'table' only exists because she agreed to date him in the first place? A table has four legs right? He's brought two, she's brought two. If she isn't in the picture, will that table stand? Oya, stand the table by yourself now Oga. Jokes aside, let me get down to the grits.
Any man who asks that question, actually indicts himself. A man who has built his worth in self, kind and value, realizes that HE IS the table. The table can stand on its own because it well grounded, rooted and has different legs giving it stability. A table serves no purpose and has no use with a leg or two missing.
What are these legs you may ask? For a man, these legs are his emotional intelligence and availability, intellectual depth, financial muscle and ability to provide leadership. Because he already has all these in place, he looks for a woman’s whose value is expressed in her sense of preservation, judgment, emotional maturity and peace.
Any man lacking any of the above has no right asking what a woman brings to the table. You aren't standing yet and you are asking for weight to be placed on you? You will run down and drain any woman of purpose who comes into your life
High value men attract high value women! If you are asking a woman what she brings to the table, then check yourself. You only attracted your type. After all she was on her own before you toasted her abi? You fished in your own waters. I don't expect to catch a shark in a stream.
If I want a shark, I go to the ocean but if I must fish in the ocean I must be someone who has the means and capability to do so. I won't catch a fish in a stream and blame it for not being a shark. That's madness. A woman only adds to beautify what is already established before she came. It is not her place to build from the scratch. It doesn't matter how deeply spiritual and loving she is, making her play a role unnatural to her is the quickest way to push her into rebellion. But this is a topic for another day.
That said, there's nothing more I despise than a lazy woman who has nothing going for her. Your claptrap is not a money source babe. Strive to provide value! Hold your own! Depend on no man. Whether he is there or not should not change your financial position in anyway.
I'll say this. Any woman that lacks financial intelligence, isn't engaged in any productive or profitable venture, has no business being in a relationship or marriage. You are just opening yourself up for insults and disrespect. You need to be productive not because of him, but because of the possible children you have with him and your sanity. Imagine if Queen M wasn't resourceful. When she got served breakfast and her husband married another woman, what would have become of her? Your children need you to stand!
In a nutshell, a man asking what you bring to the table is a flag. A huge red one at that. You don't need that man in your life. For him to ask you that question is also an indictment on you. Step up and avoid see finish. If you can't, you have no business dating anyone. Build yourself up!
I think I might have said too much today. But I just quickly glanced at my field of f*cks to give. Lo and behold, it still remains barren!
That said, there's nothing more I despise than a lazy woman who has nothing going for her. Your claptrap is not a money source babe. Strive to provide value! Hold your own! Depend on no man. Whether he is there or not should not change your financial position in anyway.
I'll say this. Any woman that lacks financial intelligence, isn't engaged in any productive or profitable venture, has no business being in a relationship or marriage. You are just opening yourself up for insults and disrespect. You need to be productive not because of him, but because of the possible children you have with him and your sanity. Imagine if Queen M wasn't resourceful. When she got served breakfast and her husband married another woman, what would have become of her? Your children need you to stand!
In a nutshell, a man asking what you bring to the table is a flag. A huge red one at that. You don't need that man in your life. For him to ask you that question is also an indictment on you. Step up and avoid see finish. If you can't, you have no business dating anyone. Build yourself up!
I think I might have said too much today. But I just quickly glanced at my field of f*cks to give. Lo and behold, it still remains barren!
SHIKENNA! 👌
ReplyDeleteYeah right but I don't understand why a grown adult just want to depend on another. Just yet your money or hold your side whether a man or a woman so that you live a better life
ReplyDeleteThank you...
Delete©️ TEEJAY
Eve was to be a help mate. If you can't help in any way, what is your use. This kind of write up will encourage all lazy girls of this generation not to develop themselves and positive contribution to their man's life intellectually.
ReplyDeleteDog man,
ReplyDeleteI appreciate your take on this, but you see, on a piece like this, there should be balance. I’ll come to that later.
Bringing something to the table, just like I opined in my last article, has nothing to do with money but value. Good thing I saw you pointed that out too. I did say intentionality and clarity stand out most for me when going into a relationship. I’m not fixated on a woman’s finances. What if she’s financially wealthy but disrespectful? Would you still be satisfied with that “table”?
Character is a great asset anyone can bring to the table. Discipline is another. Goals and commitment to growth are superb. So when looking at what someone brings to the table, it shouldn’t be viewed only on the material surface.
Now, back to my first paragraph. With this “bringing to the table” matter, a good number of women are on that page. They want a ready-made man, not someone to build with. They despise struggling men and wouldn’t date them, let alone marry one. But once the man succeeds and makes wealth, those same women flock around professing love and desiring marriage. Now tell me: if you’re such a man, will you settle for a woman who has nothing to offer character-wise, career-wise, or in business prospects?
Why do we hit on men who desire stable women after they struggled to make it in life against all odds, yet find it okay for a broke woman without clarity of purpose or a means of livelihood to be accepted by a man? Things like this encourage more women not to develop themselves, because they see it as normal for a man to shoulder all responsibilities.
As a woman, your career distinction, academic prowess, business acumen, faithfulness, and strong value system are all what you can bring to the table. It’s not all about money. A man can go to any length to invest in a partner who has the ability and already has the setup to establish herself in life. You know why? He sees her as the mother of his kids.
We should stop discouraging women from being accountable or striving for excellence. There are great women of substance out there that a man doesn’t need to ask what they’re bringing to the table. Their CV and expertise already show they’re more than the table itself.
In marriage, no one is doing anyone a favor. We should all strive to be valuable, whether man or woman when going into a relationship that leads to marriage.
I’ll tell you a short story. I started dating this lady shortly after my relationship ended with the lady I did introduction with. Barely three months into it, she asked for ₦50,000 to sort out an issue. I told her I didn’t have it at the moment, but in the coming week I’d give her once I was done with a job I was handling and got paid. I told her to sort it out and I’d reimburse her. She changed towards me. She became cold and limited communication. I kept it mature.
Fortunately, I finished the job, got paid, and sent her the money. Immediately I did, she resumed the romantic side of her, but I wasn’t having it. I politely told her I was no longer interested. I quit. She pleaded for forgiveness and tried to make me understand she’s a woman who needs to be pampered. I told her I don’t need such a woman.
When I told a female friend about it, she asked: since you wanted to end the affair, why did you still give her the money? I told her, I did it to prove a point. That I didn’t quit because I couldn’t afford it, but because she wasn’t mature enough to be in a relationship.
So you understand the games some of these women play. They’ll tell you they’re “the table,” yet they’re not valuable to themselves neither are they bringing any value to you.
©️ TEEJAY
Teejay you have good head on your shoulder.
DeleteI like how you analyze your points.
Deep down you know when you and your boss kang ask, what do women bring to the table, you are not talking about values.
DeleteSo @Teejay what do you bring to the table? Abi after galivanting around you now want a woman with good character...he who must come to equity, must do so with clean hands!
DeleteMost infantile adults want submissive providers,no right thinking human being will ask the other person what he/she brings to the table.That is subtle gold digging, why don't you check the background,the family values,character,how the person views growth and his or her adaptability to change,when a man asks me what I bring to the table I tell him I am the whole table,including the table cloth,the flower vase,and the dishes on the table.
ReplyDeleteMany are yet to understand that question,' what do you bring to the table ' means..
ReplyDeletePut financial aspect aside, many have nothing else to offer in terms of character.
What are you bringing to the table means what can you offer, do you have values.
That's why many misunderstood Dante, when he mentioned that child bearing wouldn't be only thing a woman can offer,.
Jerry see your mate! And yes I will compare...this is it, instead of cracking dry jokes and pandering to rubbish..thank you Dog for a well balanced post...women place value on yourselves ...do not allow any human ...whether male or female objectify you! Work damn hard for yourself!
ReplyDeleteNot this conversation again. Everyone should bring something to the table please not basically monetary. It should be character, intellectual and promising . Also high value personality attract nonsense sometimes. They sometimes don't know what they want.
ReplyDelete