STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
OUT OF LOVE WITH HUSBAND
My marriage is 10 years old, and we have three kids.
I’ve fallen out of love with my husband. His very presence irritates me.
He is a good provider for the family, but there is no love. I’m not seeing anyone and I don’t plan on cheating, but this man believes that providing money is his only responsibility. There is no emotional connection. He doesn’t help around the house or with the kids. He speaks to me harshly, never asks if I’m emotionally okay, and he sweeps every issue I raise under the carpet.
I run my own small business, and he doesn’t give me money unless I ask. I have to write a list of things needed in the house before he sends the money. There is no upkeep money for me. I’m just tired.
Is this normal?
What you’re describing is not unusual, but it is not healthy , emotionally or relationally!!! Ah ah!
. Many long marriages fall into a pattern where one partner provides financially and disconnects emotionally, but that doesn’t mean you must accept it.
Have a talk with him and let him see how this has turned, maybe he is going through something he didnt discuss with you?....
If he does not change after the talk, just return the enrgy he gives you and stop giving him kpekus.......cloe your legs and your heart and let him do his worse!!
I’m trying to understand your point. In one breath you said he’s a good provider for the family, and in another you said he doesn’t give you upkeep money. Can I ask, upkeep for what exactly? Since you have your own business, what expenses are you referring to?
ReplyDeleteYou also said he gives when you ask, and that he’s a good provider. So what exactly is the issue with upkeep? Is it for the kids, feeding, bills, and school fees? Or are you expecting him to also cover personal things like pads, makeup, and hair, which you can conveniently handle from your own income or from what he gives for the home? Don't you wanna spend your own money?
Let’s be honest. It feels like the disconnection didn’t just come from lack of emotional connection, but largely from the issue of upkeep money. You even went out of your way to say you’re not seeing anyone or planning to cheat which makes me wonder if you’re trying to get sympathy and support here. If your husband’s presence irritates you like you rightly said, it clearly shows resentment and hatred from you. Such traits is dangerous to any man with such a woman as a wife.
From your story, it looks like you’ve put all the responsibility on him and yet still expect emotional closeness. You admitted he’s a good provider, something many women pray for. If he wasn’t providing enough but was emotionally available, I’m sure there would still be complaints. Have you asked him why he seems emotionally distant? What effort have you made to reconnect? If the focus is only on what you’re not getting, then that comes across as selfish.
Please don’t push away a good man who provides for his family just because of a demand for upkeep you can conveniently handle yourself. If you want emotional closeness with him, don’t leave all the responsibilities on his shoulders. Help out where you can. The weight of the bills could be affecting him, and it might be taking a toll on his emotions too.
©️ TEEJAY
I read this same pattern with marriages that is up to 10 years. I don't know if it is always see finish or emotional energy decline. Maybe you have to start switching up things or look for a way to spice up things.
ReplyDeleteFunny enough, I made a post about this recently! You can never run a healthy home if you think your responsibilities as a husband and a father ends with providing money!
ReplyDeleteThis one now adds disrespect to his own as well as stinginess.
Poster, whatever decision you make, you will right as long as that is what you actually want.
Please remember that the street is not greener.
ReplyDeleteYou can still make things work; take it to God in prayers, talk to those he listens to, and talk calmly to him.
Wishing you the best Ma'am.
DOZZYBEST.
ReplyDeleteMy dear sister, ten years of marriage and three children is a lot to walk away from simply because the feelings have become cold. If there is no abuse or danger involved, I would not advise you to walk away.
After almost 30 years of marriage, I have learned that love sometimes has to be intentionally rebuilt through prayer, communication, patience, and understanding.
I would encourage you to have one serious but calm conversation with him. Don’t make it only about money. Tell him how you no longer feel like his wife and partner and explain the emotional loneliness you are experiencing.
Be specific about what needs to change, so that both of you can work together to rebuild your marriage.
I pray that God will touch both your hearts and rekindle the love you once had for each other, in Jesus name. Amen. 🙏🏽