VAGINISMUS RUINS FIVE MONTH OLD MARRIAGE.....THE PAIN IS REAL!
Hello Stella dearie... the warmest greetings ever to you. Am very much certain you are unaware of the impacts your blog has made in my life...I came across your blog at a time I was wishing for death and even believed I had no business being alive but your blog brought me the much needed succor and relief...
I am sharing this partly to let all the doubting 'Thomas' know that indeed Vaginismus does exist, am a living witness and would gladly provide anything needed to authentic all you would read below.
Sorry my story might be a bit long but I would endeavour to be as brief as possible and I pray u would oblige me your time and subsequently share my story. Ok...Am Doris by name and a graduate of one of the federal Universities in the country. I got married at 23+ in February this year and as I type, i have been sent packing from my husband's house on grounds of our inability to consummate our marriage.
This is because I always experience excruciating pains during intercourse and to my husband I am responsible for this as he believes I tightened my vagina(am still and will always be amused at this thought)....I tried all within my power to vindicate myself but all to no avail...The most surprising aspect of this being the fact that when he makes love to me he doesn't release but he admitted he slept with someone else and had a normal intercourse, thus his conclusion that I am responsible for it.
Some people termed it spiritual;that I had a spiritual husband. I went to various hospitals but was informed that it was just a state of mind and at some other hospitals I was diagnosed with an infection and I took all sorts of drugs even herbal though according to them the infection cant possibly be the issue and I was utterly confused....Issues got to a point that at night he woke me up to inform me he had completed plans to bring in another wife. I begged, cried, prayed but he no even shake....
I finally met a Doctor at Enugu who confirmed I had vaginismus but my husband and his family wouldn't hear of it as they insisted I brought it upon myself in a bid to tighten my vagina ..I hurt so badly and intensely,cried myself to sleep on most nights challenging God to vindicate me but apparently my prayers never made it to heaven.
I finally went back to my parents' house but couldn't stand the shame plus the burden of being financially dependent on them again so but am presently in Awka teaching in a Secondary School and still believing God for something better even as I hope to enrol for a PG programme by next year.
*wow,so this vaginismus thing is this bad?May God heal all those with this illness.some of us just take sex for granted,some cant even deal..OMG!
Doris you will find help,your condition cannot be permanent!
Hmmmmm
ReplyDeleteShe no tell us weda she don "do" before she meet her husband . This story sef get comma
DeleteI saw this on webmd
DeleteTreatment
Women with vaginismus can do exercises, in the privacy of their own home, to learn to control and relax the muscles around the vagina.
The approach is called progressive desensitization, and the idea is to get comfortable with insertion.
First, do Kegel exercises by squeezing the same muscles you use to stop the flow of urine when urinating:
Squeeze the muscles.
Hold for 2 seconds.
Relax the muscles.
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Do about 20 Kegels at a time. You can do them as many times a day as you want to.
After a few days, insert one finger, up to about the first knuckle joint, inside the vagina while doing the exercises. It's a good idea to clip your fingernails first and use a lubricating jelly. Or do the exercises in a bathtub, where water is a natural lubricant.
Start with one finger and work your way up to three. You'll feel the vagina's muscles contracting around your finger, and you can always take your finger out if you're not comfortable.
For women whose vaginismus is related to fear or anxiety, therapy helps.
Virginismus has cure, and you'll find help very soon in Jesus name! Amen! Please don't stop believing God for a miracle, the lord is your strength.
ReplyDeleteYour comment will be visible after approval
Your husband and his entire family are illiterates I guess.. Tightened ur vagina indeed..My dear the Lord. Is ur strenght.. A couple of people have proffered solutions down the thread .. I pray u find something that works..
DeleteHmmmmm different kind of things happening in this our world
DeleteHow is it even possible for a girl to tighten her vagina to the point of not been able to have sex? Please my sister just continue to look hope to God it is well.
DeletePlease contact me if you live in the UK and you want to buy good quality % 100 unprocessed virgin human hair.
Oh my God! I was so touched by this article...could not help shedding tears...this world is just so complicated. I pray the balm of Gilead heals you, ytakes away your shame and give you a new lease of life...My GODis still in the business of performing miracles and you shall come back to testify on this blog of God's goodness..please be strong, prayerful and hopeful. Its well!
ReplyDeleteEvery little post, BVs will be crying!
DeleteLol @jayem. Wetin be ur own? Benin people can like to find trouble.
Delete*Married woman
JayEm kai. I never laugh finish. You eh. The story was quite touching though. Don't worry dear poster everything will be fine. Thank God for your life.
DeleteI was touched while reading this?and Ʊя hubby couldn't help find solutions?He couldn't help make u feel good?Just February this year?and they are already out for anoda woman?Where are men like my Late Father?A man who stayed 20 years childless without a step to get a second wife...Stuffs like this make me wonder,..Wherever u are Dad,u'll always live in me.@Poster,its well with u.
ReplyDeleteAnd my late father too...He died when I was 24.im an only child.my mum had oda issues apart from infertility from athritis to diabetes to ulcer, yet he stood by her.There was no hospital they cld afford in Nigeria n outside dt they didn't go.He loved my mother so much dt wen i was asking God for a hubby, i asked for a man dt will love me as much as my dad loved my mum.dt love was deeeeep, evry1 aend cld feel it.Now I'm enjoying my inheritance with just my hubby who happens to be just as caring n kind too.no issues of step or Any1 claiming to b my step dis or step dt
DeleteEya!its well with u.
DeleteAwwwww,
DeleteGodwin and Fancy Diva, may the souls of your fathers continue to rest in perfect peace, Amen.
Your narratives of their life brought tears to my eyes.
@ Poster, Nne the Lord is your strength. You are heald in Jesus name.
Don't worry dear, better days ahead.
#ehugs.
Ewoooooo.......
ReplyDeletesorry o...
If you healthy and sound, keep praising God. May see every one with illness trough, Amen.
ReplyDeletePlease click on my name for Fashion/Beauty/Fitness tips
So sori dear, God who gav u dat vagina wil open it 4 u nd heal u completely nd u wil av ur babies Frm dia..av faith.
ReplyDeleteThis realy is serious,this stories are really getting scary.Bf and i agreed to wedding night but with this stories...wouldnt one just deal with the pain now?It is well!
ReplyDeleteDear poster,i cant begin to imagine what yu are going through,i just pray divine help comes your way soon.God is still in the business of answering prayers.
Doris E hugs to u dear. Wow. So this thing is real? May God met u at the point of ur need. It's well with u.
ReplyDeleteSo this is real,na wao people get problem walahi,God will save you but are you saying you didn't fuck him before marriage with all this going on now guyz will stop hearing no sex before marriage story ish
ReplyDeleteBLOG ANALYSER: I had to google it for a better understanding. I didn't know it is that serious.
ReplyDeletehi dear,its so painful to read your story. i checked google and i came across some advice that will help.i'd advice that you visit google too. meanwhile,dont let your light be dimmed cos of your ignorant inlaws and co,God will definitely bring someone your well,who will help you to enjoy sex and overcome this. kip soaring
ReplyDeleteThis is so painful,people re really suffeing in this world. My dear try and treat yourself and look up to God,he is able
ReplyDeleteVaginismus is damn real stella...
ReplyDeleteYeah-i have left anonymous mode--so happy to be here @ last-pls welcome me nicely
ReplyDeleteAnd yes it exists-i once dated a muslim guy-and I was never wet with him,sex was a torture-we just couldn't understand y he cudnt make me wet-i tot I was ill-we use ky gel to make love.
I had to go-make I no die for bed one day
Lmao
DeleteLucifer 4 beat u frm earth reach hell gate
Sexy boocalher u no well O! LWKMD. I don die ey! #OneLove#
Deletehi dear,i feel so sorry about your plight. i'd advice that you visit google to search out the cause and treatment on it. meanwhile dont allow your lights be dimmed by your ignorant inlwas. in no time,God will bring someone your way,who will help you enjoy sex....ip soaring
ReplyDeleteI have heard about this vaginismus but never really though about it until I read this article today. I went online and read that it is curable.
ReplyDeleteMaybe the following link from WebMD can help
http://www.webmd.com/women/guide/vaginismus-causes-symptoms-treatments
I wish the writer good luck.
ANGELRAY SAID
ReplyDeleteEyaa poster sorry ooh, God is ur strength, Stella lemme ask u a question, y is there so many issues in marriages these day, can a day pass by without us discussing marriage palava.
There re so many issues in marriages these days bcos men ve thrown caution to d wind. They dnt value d union anymore. A man can marry today n keep sleeping wt his ex n all. Women feel thay can't not b cheated on all d times n feel wot a man can do.... our generation now value sex n money. we need to imbibe good morals in our kids n young ones.
DeleteAs much as this is disheartening for any man to cope with, what happened to understanding? I don't wanna ask too much though cos Nigerian men are the poster kids for impatience and blaming the other party.
ReplyDeleteA Nigerian man cums too fast: "oh baby,its cos you're too sweet"
He doesn't cum: "why were u too stiff? I no longer enjoy you"
his dee is too small: "you're too wide,i can't feel myself"
You didn't cum: "dere must be something wrong with you, all the gals iv dated know I'm good"
I don't wanna stereotype them, lets just say, a good number of them act like this.
This is because they were taught that they're the leaders and women must attend to their whims and caprices.
If your husband was the impotent one whose penis can't rise, will he not seek help or beg you not to leave, to cover his shame? Where you a virgin before this man,dear? Have you had smooth sex before? If so, then it may be a psychological thing that warrants you see a therapist.
Whichever way, good riddance to the pest your husband (ex husband) was. He had already started arranging for a new wife under your nose. Don't even curse them, truely, he ain't worth it.
Concentrate on your career for now and relieve yourself of tension.
You're 23.
Very young and ve got bright things ahead
**Bonaparte NN
A million likes to your comment anon 1:56.
DeleteYou said it all.
God bless you.
Yea yea, but Pls No all MEN are like that, like you said, good riddance to the pest the husband was. And it's so clear that the man is ignorant! You listed the sh*ts men say. You should list that of women too. We've only listened to the side of this poster story tho.
DeleteI have one likw that here in my home, he feels he is perfect and truth is he is no where near being called a husband material. The kid is so happy being around him. I am getting more and more frustrated by the day and sometimes if feel like putting rat poison in his food. If not for Uk law. Let him step into naija i will make sure i organise boys to beat the hell out of him.
DeleteAnon 7:44 take it easy abeg, sofry, sofry. The Lord is your muscle! #OneLove#
DeleteSo on point.
DeleteDis is sad mehnnn *tears* my dear I really feel sorry for u.... mehnnn dis is one of d most touching chronicles I ve read on dis blog..... too sad....
ReplyDeleteOh dear! This really shattered my heart. Lord, please, renew and heal this woman.
ReplyDeleteDoris,God will surely see you through this...just work and live as a human;and still put your prayers and hope on God..remember God cant give u a burden you cant conquer..All is well dear!! @MARTINS ABOY
ReplyDeleteThis is serious! I pray God helps u
ReplyDeletePlease visit a good gynecologist.. They should be able to do smtin
ReplyDeleteOh dear i will say a prayer for you this night i know God will anwer.Just get ready for your testimony
ReplyDeleteAm loving you already 1 blessed girl. Keep being sweet.
DeleteBetty
Being a rape victim, I have two things to deal with. Getting over the fear of sex and I guess this vaginismus. I don't believe in sex b4 marriage mainly because I'm christian and wanna respect God. But I'm very aware of my fear of sex and as much as I want to believe when I'm married, I'll get over it, I still have my lil doubts. I'm dating a very amazing, understanding guy so I really don't want it to be an ish if we get married. I however decided to try sex. O boy! I don't know which I should worry must about : the excruciating pain or the flashbacks that keep dancing in my face. So even he agrees we should go back to waiting till marriage. (it may just be a sign from God. Lol) Well this my long story is just to say, the pain is real.
ReplyDeleteSorry dear for the rape, feat every every, God will heal you and make it easier to handle when you get married, in Jesus name. Amen! #OneLove#
DeleteSorry abt d rape dear
Delete@poster, may God heal and grant u a better man ijn
Na wa oh! May God provide complete healing for you and give you your heart's desire. Sorry my sister #OneLove#
ReplyDeleteWow cant blv I cried reading ur story, Doris!
ReplyDeleteOfcos, ur cries n worries made it to heaven, God is making a better plan for u .He will surely vindicate u my sister
Eeyah @poster it is well. I think u should follow what Kehinde Ake adviced on a similar post days back. Work on ur mind dear, na wao
ReplyDeleteSome have food but cannot eat!
Some can eat but have no food!
Different strokes 4 different follks!!!
This thing is a serious "something" ooo. Its very hard to believe issues like this exist especially when it comes to sex issues.
ReplyDeleteDear Poster,God will send help ur way. It is well!!!
Wow! I think in today's definition of marriage COMMITMENT just up and boom! disappeared and is replaced by CONVENIENCE. How can a woman you promised before God, friends and foes (devil) to have and to hold, for better for worse, till death do you, now has a problem instead of seeking solutions together you decided to put her away. Tomorrow his likes will send sob stories not knowing that karma came calling. My dear try your possible best to find solution to your problem, everything is not spiritual, science has gone beyond that , it's just finding the right doctor. Good luck
ReplyDelete'Replaced with', 'death do you part'.
Deleteehyaaaaa..... sorry dear but if you read extensively i think there is a cure for it....
ReplyDeleteMy dear, u need God in ur life o. It may be spiritual. Maybe spirit husband issues. There is someone I know who had similar ish. But after much spiritual battle she was free. My dear u need to pray down ur answers from heaven. Can't u c it's not only d virgina that is involved here? Even ur in laws. Ur hubby that would ve been by u is against u at this point.
ReplyDeleteMy dear there ix something wrong spiritually believe me!
@Annie Jay, you are one of the problems fighting against our growth. Ofcourse, being a christian is good, but what kind of mentality is this. That everything is spiritual. Jeez. She has a problem that is curable which could be due to abuse. Gerraut of here jor.
DeleteRead and learn.
Nor be only spiritual. Prophetess Aniel Jay!
Hehehehe! Laughing n looking at u in d way of a prophetess!
DeleteThanks 4 d tittle!
Hmnn. Dunno wot to say. Poster is your hubby your 1st or u'v had sex b4. U didn't state that. Pele u hear. It shall be well wit u
ReplyDeleteBury yourself in ur book & do what makes u happy.
ReplyDeleteGod has heard ur prayer & u r healed in Jesus Name.
Aw. So sad.
ReplyDeleteCan it be surgically corrected ?
I have Pap tests, twice in a year. So all these women don't get to do that? Considering, nothing can't even penetrate the power house ?
That quote about women being the weaker vessels should be changed. We are stronger.
Things we take for granted meanwhile a lot out there are passing through so much pain and heartache to have it. I remember vividly reading from one of the posts where a lady was describing how she hung her legs on the burglary proof collecting P-----from a married man and even planning on travelling to ABUJA to collect more. Yet some married women can't fulfil marital obligation to their husband because of VAGINISMUS. God please let your healing hand touch each and everyone of them Amen.!!!
ReplyDeleteThings we take for granted meanwhile a lot out there are passing through so much pain and heartache to have it. I remember vividly reading from one of the posts where a lady was describing how she hung her legs on the burglary proof collecting P-----from a married man and even planning on travelling to ABUJA to collect more. Yet some married women can't fulfil marital obligation to their husband because of VAGINISMUS. God please let your healing hand touch each and everyone of them Amen.!!!
ReplyDeleteThe Lord is your strength
ReplyDeleteThe vaginismus of a thing should have a cure na...correct me if am wong
ReplyDeleteDoris I pray u get well soon,don't worry God will restore ur marriage
Dear Doris, sorry to hear you have vaginismus. I want to say it's not a death sentence o. I know someone who had it. Her own was worst. They did christian dating so no sex b4 marriage and she happily agreed.When her husband tried sleeping with her nau, she will be shouting fire fire. Lol. To cut the long story short,she was diagnosed with vaginismus. Hers was as a result of trauma she experienced at uni ( she was raped). She is due to have a re corrective surgery where the muscle of her vagina would be treated with something something and she can have sex normally. I'm sorry I can't really remember all d medical stuff the dr said. But she assured us it will be fine. This is not the first time they have treated vaginismus surgically. She was diagnosed in Reddington hospital in lag and although they said the surgery can be done there, she is having it soon in the UK. Bottom line, it can be done. We Pray that God will bring ur husband back. But cheer up and seek medical help. These are just afflictions of life. But it is well x
ReplyDeletehmmmm,so much for those who indeed take sex for granted..@poster u will e fine,just trust in God
ReplyDeleteI heard its the major reason why Phillip Ehiagwina broke up with Ruth Okoro.
DeleteNYDP~ New York Delta Pikin.
ReplyDeletePlease where is pepper ose oku, Linda queen and boss, kelvin happiness (kelvinator) , Dr Agwuturunbe, Kehinde Ake ( my side guy), Ezewanyi, etc. Miss your comments. And am not missing, am up to date with every post. Pls come out. Have a bless weekend, y'all.
..where is Mamie??
Deletewow! dunno what to say
ReplyDeleteSo sorry Doris. God is your strength.
ReplyDeleteTry to learn a school while doing your PG.
Try to be independent
Nawa o!
ReplyDeleteYour,ex husband no be person. Pick yourself up and move on with life.
ReplyDeletewow.how sad. Life is just not balanced but with God all things are possible. Pls seek for medical help.
ReplyDeleteAmen to your prayer stella. Your prayers are answered dear you will soon see the hand work of God in ur life . Just keep Believing dear. It is well
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry mam for this pain u have gone through. Did u always know you had this condition? did you try to do anything about it if this was the case before marriage? did you discuss this with the man before the marriage or was it something he was managing small small thinking it will change? did u marry a virgin? Were you circumsised as a baby or something like that?
ReplyDeleteWhat have you done to treat yourself?
Please keep on with your job and i know your prayers will go to God. Read as much as u can read concerning this condition and dont be afraid to go for treatment when you have the resources. God be with you dear.
MAYMAY
ReplyDeleteDt ur husband was a mistake ...he never really loved u trust God n move on
May God reach you and give you healing in Jesus name...there is a kit that's sold in the US for $100 that people swear by to help heal this condition,pls check it out and this and site https://www.vaginismus.com/....it's very treatable and curable,just not very common....all the best....E-hugs
ReplyDeleteTrust and believe God like there's no tomorrow. A lady here shared her story on this same issue so contact her through Stella. Seek for help by yourself also e.g with the Dr in Enugu. Finally, God delivered you from a lion's den i.e from that husband of yours. God will make ways for you in ways that will shock you and your ex will likely try to come back when you make it but do not go back to him. Sometimes in life, God allows certain things to happen to us in order to take us away from situations that would have destroyed us. Nne if a man can sleep with another woman and also send you out of your home within 5 months of marriage to marry another, then start glorifying God for His saving grace in your life. You will look back on this stage in your life and cry with joy and gratitude to God. Trust me on this.
ReplyDeleteMy God! I'm trying not to feel scared I must say. Doris don't worry, God will definitely surprise u. Just keep trusting Him.
ReplyDeleteNa wa oh. This disease is seriously wrecking homes oh. May God see y'll thru
ReplyDeleteMay God heal u young lady. I cant believe wot so many pple r passing tru in dis life. May God protect us all.
ReplyDeleteBlood of the lamb! This life eh. One woman is looking to tighten her vagina and another is praying for it to be as wide as 3rd mainland bridge.
ReplyDeleteDear Poster, sorry about your predicament. Isn't there any therapy that you can go fo since its a thing of the mind?
Irony of life.
DeleteI experienced same wt my ex bf wen I was restricting him frm having sex to me more often.
DeleteI then notice my veejay was closing,I made sure I had sex like 4times in a week till it opened back.
Hi. I,m sorry to hear about ur pain. Vaginismus is indeed real. And though I don't have it, I have severe pain on penetration and i can imagine just how u feel. Unfortunately, in Nigeria, we do not have gynaecologists that specialise in sexual dysfunction. I say this cost I'm a gynaecologist in training and even I cannot find specialist help for myself. All hope is not lost though. Use Google to ur advantage. There are helpful websites and blogs like vaginismus.com, my vaginismus story.... etc. And u should invest in vaginal dilators and help books. U could get vaginal dilators on vaginismus.com, they'll ship to u. The dilators come in a set of increasing sizes. U start inserting d from d smallest and work up ur way to the largest. Its best when one does this self treatment in conjunction with advice and help from gynaecologists and women's sexual health physiotherapists, but as earlier said such help isn't available. I wish u all the best. Its surmountable. There r support groups online too
ReplyDeletePoster;the Lord wud heal you,,,since God is the rewarder of those that diligently seek him;your song of testimony will be sang this year.
ReplyDeleteIn other news;pls if any BV has anything(clothes,shoes,bags,toys) to give away(maybe something u don't need again),I don't mind having...I just opened a shop wie I sell first grade clothes,,,,,and as at now;DH and I are not financially buoyant to get more.Thanks in advance.
Stella i pity her. When a woman has vaginismus, her vagina's muscles squeeze or spasm when something is entering her, like a tampon or a penis. It can be mildly uncomfortable, or it can be painful.
ReplyDeleteThere are exercises a woman can do that can help, sometimes within weeks. Let her relax her mind in her next marriage and do more of exercise.I pray she overcome it.
When a woman has vaginismus, her vagina's muscles squeeze or spasm when something is entering her, like a tampon or a penis. It can be mildly uncomfortable, or it can be painful.
ReplyDeleteThere are exercises a woman can do that can help, sometimes within weeks.
Stella i pity her. When a woman has vaginismus, her vagina's muscles squeeze or spasm when something is entering her, like a tampon or a penis. It can be mildly uncomfortable, or it can be painful.
ReplyDeleteThere are exercises a woman can do that can help, sometimes within weeks. Let her relax her mind in her next marriage and do more of exercise.I pray she overcome it.
Doris be strong...God is not a man..his promises to you might be delayed,but it will surely come to pass...Keep working hard .it pays.
ReplyDeleteAunty stelllaaaa words cant express my love for u nd my fellow BV even if am new in dis blog. hup I will be welkom
ReplyDeleteWelcome nne
Deleteare dere any oda signs to defect d disease or is it only thru intercourse?
ReplyDeleteMay i be permitted to share my contribution.... vaginismus is an involuntary spasm of d vagina muscle...... therefore while dere could be oda ways of curing dz ailment, i think LOCAL administration of Botulinum Toxin(Local) which is known as botox can help dilate this muscles by blocking the reuptake of choline and invariably decreasing the release of acetycholine of synapse nd lastly decreasing the stimulation of the receptors at this muscle....... vaginismus is similar to patient with blepharospasm(involuntary contraction of eye muscles) nd botox is an effective treatment....... please tell ur doctor about this
ReplyDeleteI really feel sorry for this poster. Dear poster you will find solution IJN. Amen.
ReplyDeletehmmmmm, dis is serious. Doris dear, may God heal u in areas u need healing.
ReplyDeleteNa wa ooo things dey happen! However most Nigeria men don't have patience when it comes to making love. Like Kehinde said in his post yesterday our men should go and learn the rudiment of love making, not jumping on your wife/g frd or mistress as if they are a piece of rubbish.You need to see their reaction "Oya oga comot your dress " meanwhile d woman body is tight no romance, no kiss, no head,nothing. In fact I can't deal with it! I pray d poster gets help asap
ReplyDeleteI belong to this group but I told Oga about it right from the beginning and so he is understanding, I pray you find a way out. I will advice you try foreplay enjoy it and the pain will be reduced or in some cases isn't there it works for me. All the best sis
ReplyDeleteIs there a solution???? No one talks bout it. Doctorssss pls help this poster pls!
ReplyDeleteDoris ndo oo, na-ekele Chineke na ị kwụsịrị ákwá ma ẹmende onwe gị elu . Chineke ga-ahụ gị site na ekwere m gị nkwa , gị mgbu agaghị ruo mgbe ebighị ebi.
ReplyDeleteIf you still love your husband and you think he still loves you, research on dilators, go back to your doctors and ask them about it. I think you wear it everyday and start from the smallest then it goes up from there, it's the most excruciating pain ever but with time you can adjust to it. Don't worry it's not over until it's over, you still have hope.
A girlfriend of mine had the primary or milder vaginismus or so and she tried the dilators thing and it worked. Just calm down and ask your husband to give you time, ị na-anụ.
Na wah! So sorry about your predicament poster. Please refer to earlier posts on this subject; also try and eliminate any spiritual aspect, you never know. All the best!
ReplyDeleteClick my name for all your celebration cakes and cupcakes, cheers
Jesus is Lord o, thank u jesus 4 my life
ReplyDeleteI just saw this link online. Maybe it will help sufferes.
ReplyDeletehttp://www.vaginismus.com/
I'm so sorry about your condition dear. That ex of yours isn't your God ordained husband, your God ordained husband will stand by you and you both will look for solution to the problem. I pray you find that solution soon enough and meet your bone of your bone. It is well with you.
ReplyDeleteI really felt like crying reading this. I feel for you lady. Research like nevee before, Google the shit out of Vaginismus till you find a reasonable solution. Somehow, somewhere, someone has suffered this same ugly crap called vaginismus and got cured.
ReplyDeleteI wish i can help you. I feel soooo much for you. You are too young to be going through a divorce over a problem you didn't cause for yourself.
*some of us complain over everything, we think our problem is worse, until we hear what the next person has to say..............then we realise that outour problem is a LEARNER!
This situation is mighty. I join faith with yours poster, and I know you will be married again. However, this situation has been around for a long time, most people on this part of the planet will rather sweep it under the sheets, hence the apparent low awareness.
ReplyDeleteI remember vividly back in the university, I had a female neighbour who confided in me about this same issue. She said sex to her is like deliberately slicing her flesh, her ex nd present boyfriends were amazed. The thought of sex, frightens her, though she enjoys foreplay. The sight of a penis, makes her want to call the police nd when he eventually penetrates, she bleeds profusely. Like she's getting re-disvirgined
Her concern was, if she was even going to ever get married or get married and not enjoy sex. I think,(with references to wikipedia) her case should be tied to an abuse by her friend's father. The man brutally raped her when she spent the holidays with them around her secondary school days. Till date, she never told her parents or siblings. She's working now and the same man still comes around the house and be like, 'Oh, you are so grown now'. I googled wikipedia just now, and I must say, if u have this problem, you need to read wikipedia's description of the issue. It is lengthy, if you have never read anything this long and you copied all-through secondary school, lol, please, read. I google everything. There re ready made answers on the Web with similar cases like yours. Please use your subscriptions wisely!
http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vaginismus
Mikky@2B246089
Since way Dem born me, I never hear dis kind thing b4, what is it called again? vaginismus dakarkokomus. Na wa, pple with there own problems, na im I dey here and I don't want to have sex with hubby now, thinking my pelvic wall is loose after birthing my son, on August. I hear something on dis blog and I get scared and at the same time I thank God, becos what women go thru in marriage is not easy. My sis Almighty God will help in IJN. I say Amen to that.
ReplyDeleteJesus is Lord. He is the great healer.
ReplyDeleteEeiya, kpele ooo, may God heal ya....caant comment with my id again kos i've forgotten my mail password..................Nsogbu!!!
ReplyDeletewow der is so much t learn on ds blog. *singing* ever since i found ds blog, my life don change*singing* who says sex isn't food esp wen u r married nids t read Doris' story. Its well wt u dear!
ReplyDeleteSo sorry Doris
ReplyDeletePray u get d help u need
It's well!!
Queen linda is like u missing in action I dey miss ur comments sha @jayem were are u @? @GW I miss u all....
ReplyDelete
ReplyDeletePossible treatment for Vaginismus
Treatment
Women with vaginismus can do exercises, in the privacy of their own home, to learn to control and relax the muscles around the vagina.
The approach is called progressive desensitization, and the idea is to get comfortable with insertion.
First, do Kegel exercises by squeezing the same muscles you use to stop the flow of urine when urinating:
Squeeze the muscles.
Hold for 2 seconds.
Relax the muscles.
Do about 20 Kegels at a time. You can do them as many times a day as you want to.
After a few days, insert one finger, up to about the first knuckle joint, inside the vagina while doing the exercises. It's a good idea to clip your fingernails first and use a lubricating jelly. Or do the exercises in a bathtub, where water is a natural lubricant.
Start with one finger and work your way up to three. You'll feel the vagina's muscles contracting around your finger, and you can always take your finger out if you're not comfortable.
Good luck to all sisters facing this V crises may God almighty restore your homes in Jesus name Amen
Awwwww this is so sad....This ish is really wrecking homes.Doris I don't feel your pains cos I don't know what you are going through I just pray and hope you find help soon.Sorry dear
ReplyDeleteAbeg let me share a story i heard today.
ReplyDeleteA man had to work really late at his supervisory work, he told his wife he would not be coming back. When he got back, madam would not let him rest, always disturbing him lol. One day she begin vex dey shout for the man, dey jack him prick na so them begin curse each other. This stupid foolish fool of a woman now went to boil water to pour on the husband, that one no do her, she carry kerosene pour for body, carry matches light herself come wan hug the man make them roast together. Sharp guy leave her run, this woman dey hospital now o and e never reach 3 months wey she put to bed. When i hear this story directly from the husband mouth laff wan kill me 😂. Some women are fools joor. Aunt stellina abeg post am.
Is sad dat men of dis dayz in nigeria r still vry stupid n evil...... Madam ur God gvn husband wil cum cos evryfin happens fr gud....wen u fink God is nt ansin u,he is indeed makin a castle fr u.
ReplyDelete~@iamjbankz SA to President Jonathan 2015~
Eeeya,Doris nne sorry inugo?
ReplyDeleteOur Good GoD Wil perfect all that concerns you
It may be tough now,buh don't give up hope
Joy who come in d morning...
Sending u lots of love Darling.
Where is love and compassion? Your wife has a problem, all you could do is to send her home. My dear, that man is not your husband. God will bring solution to your problem and give you a man who will love you for who you are. Keep the faith! Rose
ReplyDeleteEeeya,Doris nne sorry inugo?
ReplyDeleteOur Good GoD Wil perfect all that concerns you
It may be tough now,buh don't give up hope
Joy who come in d morning...
Sending u lots of love Darling.
oh God, this is serious. My dear pls hold onto your faith. God will heal you.
ReplyDeletePls I can only insert two fingers down there.Am not a virgin. Tried but didnt work.I dnt wnt to curse maself n ask God 4 a guy wit a two finger size u no now.
ReplyDeleteNa wa, we wey dey enjoy sex don't know how lucky we are. May God heal u Doris. Google is ur friend pls seek it for help and ofcourse ur doctors. Don't loose hope pls, we love u.
ReplyDeleteN here I was tthinking vaginismus was a word coined by Stella! Wen Sme of us can't wait to get married to finally do d do, peeps got.sexual issues! Aniwae darling God is gonna cme thru 4 u Jst hold on a lil longer
ReplyDeleteThis can be treated. Check https://www.vaginismus.com/
ReplyDelete