Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative...

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Friday, 30 December 2016

Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative...

Cant deal with this kinda behaviour at all...




STAND ALONE NARRATIVE.
WHEN YOUR SPOUSE HAS NO IOTA OF RESPECT FOR
 YOUR PARENTS.
Greetings to you and everyone in the house. God bless you for the good work you keep doing.

I really need constructive advice on this issue. What can/should a wife do when her husband does not even regard her parents at all. Right from the period of courtship till after marriage he barely will even call to greet them and keeps counting the wrongs they did as reasons why he chose to stay away from them.


Recently there was an issue on ground which his dad went to my parents house to settle and both parents agreed to let the past go. Only for me to tell my husband that now that things are settled he should take a step and call my parents so peace can flow from here and he refused saying that until my mum can call his mum to greet her, he will not call my parents (reason being that my mum didn't call or visit his home until after we got married).


 Am not trying to lay blames on anyone for the past issues, but is it a crime now to let go so everything can become better?


This whole thing keeps bothering me and am pregnant at the moment, different thoughts keep coming up like I should just run away and no one knows my whereabouts, perhaps along the line the two families go their separate ways.

Co's it really hurts to see my husband talk about my parents anyhow he likes, say insulting words both directly and indirectly, yet I respect his parents so much which am regretting. Now I see myself also not wanting to have anything to do with his family and hubby is not liking it at all. 

I feel my parents deserve better no matter how bad they are and it hurts that my husband refuses to bend.

What do I do biko? Cos am loosing it and I even see myself wishing I could go back in time and perhaps marry someone else.


*Hmmmm this is not easy to tackle at all at all.How did you end up Marrying a man who has no respect for your parents the way you describe?wHO GAVE YOU AWAY IN MARRIAGE TO HIM?
Did you gossip your folks to your man?sometimes this is one of the causes.
I dont know what to advice becos i have not been in or seen any situation like this....


131 comments:

em jay said...

Hiannnnnnnnn!

Doppelgänger said...

How can you even marry a man who has no respect for your parents? How??? It simply shows that you don't respect them. You must have shared really personal things with him about them because I see no reason why a man who loves you or claims to will have the guts to disrespect to people that birthed you.
You have failed your parents and you need to call your husband to order.
How can you be comfortable living with a man who insults your parents for whatever reason. They Brought you to this world and that will never change.
He doesn't respect your parents then its only a matter of time before he'd send you back to them then I guess they'd be in their right to reject you. You better call him to order and stop sharing everything about your parents or family with your man. A lot of women do this and don't get me wrong don't keep secrets from your partner but have a limit for what you share.
Some things should be between you and your people alone not everything you open mouth gbaga and share in the name of love.
Your husband has no home training.

Becky Divine said...

You see the reason with us women? You saw this right from the start but you chose to ignore just so you can answer 'Mrs' first abi?

Probably you hoped he will change after marriage right? Well i'm sorry to say but you got what you paid for, so you have to learn to live with the consequences! Talk to him about it and see if he'll listen

Or you and your parents ignore him completely to let peace reign! Pele o

Anonymous said...

You said it started right from the courtship and you went ahead and married; what were you thinking?

What were you looking at; money, sex or both?

A wise woman builds her home but the foolish woman, with her own hands tear down her home.

Uriel (Freshdew) said...

Dont run, pray and pray thats the only way out. May God give him a change of heart.

Na me talk am (after 3year) said...

This is an incomplete story biko.. can't deal!!

peace maker said...

Madam. I know ur parents advised u not to marry ur now horseband. But u were doing stubborn claiming yeye blind useless love, now sleep don comot for ur eyes.

Anonymous said...

If you focus on all these and die while pregnant
another "wife" will be bought to replace you in less than a month.
If you "run away" like devils are whining in your head,
Another "wife" will be parceled and sent to replace you in a jiffy
Now that you are playing tit for tat, who is losing? You lose woman.
You did not tell us "how bad your parents are . . ."
and that you married this man because of money . . .

Anonymous said...

This would sound like a bad advice but it is the truth.That man doesn't love u.He has started with your parents and very soon he would start disrespecting you too. I am telling from experience. U decide what to do, either to stay or to go. The ball is in your court.

IVORY said...

How did you ever get married to a man who has no regards for your parents? What you didn't change then will be difficult to change now. I just dunno.

STARRY LARRY said...

But he has been like this before you marry him, did you try to correct it while dating? Abeg I can't deal with hubby that won't respect my parents, he won't even settle with such man




*Larry was here*

DonMayor said...

How did you end up with him ? Have you sold your parents so cheap to him ? Anyway, that's not the issue here. Treat his parents just the way he treat yours.
I think that should solve it or is there more to it that you are not telling us ?

Anonymous said...

Stella God bless you. You said it all. How the hell did u end up marrying someone who doesn't have any respect for your parent? Or you are among the he will change after marriage crowd abi

Juliet Johnson said...

This is what happens when u sell ur family cheap 2 ur man.

I am king EZE said...

Maybe your family depend solely on him. To let peace reign ,let your mum call his mum. Simple.

OLORI said...

You should have stopped all this before even getting married to him now you want things to change, I doubt it'll work out...the only way out is to also treat his parent same way he's treating yours..it's a tit for tat thing!

Blackberry said...

I wish ur husband would send in his own version of the story.

Is he financially responsible for the whole of ur family? Cos u can't disrespect my parents if they don't need a dime from you. Him chop craze?

Sweetheart said...

He never called or respected them while you were courting, why will he respect them now? Cos you are married??? Marriage changes no one madam! He didn't even pretend to you from the on set, it's all your fault. You can only pray he changes.

peace maker said...

How do someone even feel happy marrying someone that has zero respect + tolerance for ur parents in d first place? Cox u said he has been doing this b4 u guys got married but u did not see it as any problem. U just want to get married.

MamaZ O said...

Poster this small issue you write chronicle. Babe stop calling his parents. If they call pick but never return the calls. Leave him. He does not need to call your parents abi his he the one feeding them? That said if he insults your parents just ignore him or better still walk out. It goes to show he lacks manners. Cause your parents and him are not are mates. Never insult his parents that's a probe that you where well trained

Miss Juliet said...

He never respected them right from courtship and u still went ahead and married him...please carry your stupid self away

peace maker said...

Poster. The bitter+unpleasant truth is that ur horseband didn't love,respect or value u d way he should cox if he do ,he won't knowingly do something that will make u miserable.

Vivilicious said...

Maybe you should tell us exactly what caused the bad blood between your parents, your husband and his parents, so we can know how to advice you.

Anonymous said...

Sorry to say this, your husband is an A-hole, and very childish. Like Stella said, who gave you to him? I bet he married you without your parents consent, because if he hadn't he would show some respect. There should no amount of demeaning things you say about your parents that should warrant your husband's behavior. You married an idiot, thank God that you're pregnant, I wish the child is a girl so the d!ck head will know how it feels to disrespect in-laws when his daughter gets married someday.

BLUNT said...

Has the family unit broken down to the point where every little misunderstanding has to be brought forward to a group of faceless social media people to resolve? On this forum are psychopaths of various shades. People with deep seated hatred for no reason. Name killers. Reputation assaulters. Madam, are these the type of people that should meddle in your family affairs? Isn't there any family member you know your husband respects? To me, you as the wife should be able to handle this. Now, you have to face the unenviable fate of having some psychos insult your husband for something they know nothing about. The majority of people here don't know how to pass a message without blending it with raw insults. Goodluck madam.

Isaacson said...

My thoughts exactly....bcos only then can we advise you on what you should do poster

Anonymous said...

Poster this is a very tough situation you found yourself. How manage? What's the genesis of the riffle? Your hubby has his mind poisoned towards your parents and this can make you suffer in his hands in due time. This can as well extend to your kids, he might not encourage a good relationship between his kids and your parents.

You should not despise his folks in return, it will only worsen the situation plus you will be giving yourself headache and unsettled mind. Stand your ground firmly but politely that he has no choice but to accept and respect your folks. His folks can summon him once they are on your side too.
While doing your part, give it time and don't go nagging everyday about this or you would be feeding his ego and he'll become more hardened. Slow and steady.

MrsBee

Anonymous said...

Like some comments up there and what Stella said, it's either he's the one catering for your parents or you've sold your family out to him, sometimes too much talk about your parents maybe that's why he has no iota of respect for them.. My elder sis suffered same fate, her husband had no iota of respect for us her family (nope he doesn't feed us cos dad single handedly sponsored their wedding as first daughter na and my siblings all schooled abroad for second degrees) well turns out my sisters problem was her mouth!!! Her sister inlaw told my mum there is no family issue she doesn't tell her husband who in turn tells his sister, so the sister told my mum to advice my sister. Well my mum handled it like a pro, she had her first baby and no one set a foot in that house,one full year no one called them ( I still do not have his number) last Christmas the man came, knelt down begged my parents, said my sister crys every night cos it feels like everyone has disowned her. I mean my dad isn't his mate and he's a retired military man, then one young man of 35 will come and be disrespecting my family.
My point is Poster check yourself well and retrace your steps....you are in the best position to change that mentality for ever before your family finally abandons you

St.FranKooL.... said...

#Problems arise when we think or talk about what we don't want. Instead, speak words only of what you want*

peace maker said...

Hmmmmm!!!
When them tell una to follow things gradually. Una no go hear.Why d hurry to marry this rude + mannerless man? Why didn't u suspend d marriage until u are u sure of what u want ie a man dat has respect for ur parents?
I don't know what to say since u r already pregnant. Plus is this how u will continue for d rest of ur life?

Nonye Inspired (James Bond's Girl) said...

Dear Poster Please get someone your husband respects a lot to talk him about this situation..Running away from your home is not wise and regretting why you married him is too late cause you made the decision for better for worse...

Stop bugging him to call your parents cause you cant force someone to forgive another person..Give him some time..You didnt give details of what caused the bad blood..Keep calling his parents and you will see how their influence would help this issues..It will also pass..I dont think your husband is bad and also watch your manner of approach to him and be patient..It is well...read this scriptures to help you 2 Corinthians 9:8,Proverbs 3:5-6, Ephesians 3:20-21, Psalms 37:30, Ecclesiastes 2:26..

Classic Chic! said...

U saw it from d beginning but u chose to stand with him!

Don't kno wot to advice a beg!
Just reading this, if care is not taken, u n him will just separate ways. Its not a prayer!

I Wonder how u have been coping, cos me I cnt tolerate! Till ur own con enter marriage!
Nyakwa!

Nonye Inspired (James Bond's Girl) said...

Dear Poster Please get someone your husband respects a lot to talk him about this situation..Running away from your home is not wise and regretting why you married him is too late cause you made the decision for better for worse...

Stop bugging him to call your parents cause you cant force someone to forgive another person..Give him some time..You didnt give details of what caused the bad blood..Keep calling his parents and you will see how their influence would help this issues..It will also pass..I dont think your husband is bad and also watch your manner of approach to him and be patient..It is well...read this scriptures to help you 2 Corinthians 9:8,Proverbs 3:5-6, Ephesians 3:20-21, Psalms 37:30, Ecclesiastes 2:26..

Anonymous said...

He is not at all, my family don't n has never ask for help from him

virus detected said...

Afi "if he do" lmfao!

queen hadassah said...

I can't marry a man who doesn't respect my family, u must respect my parents and siblings

Anonymous said...

If u really sit down to look at it, it was little issues like things that were expected of them to do for the marriage, me traveling down to visit him without my parents knowing, claims my parents don't call him their son d way his parents call me their daughter, that my parents don't encourage etc just petty things that should not lead to issues

Anonymous said...

Am sure u sold ur family cheaply to ur husband dats y his disrespecting dem! U knew he was Insolent while u whr courting and u still went ahead to marry him!my dear uv laid ur bed,get ready to lie on it!dem no born d man wey go disrespect my parents! I go show am say I be heavy Agbakara! No be today we know say yansh de for back! Nonsense!

Anonymous said...

Am sure u sold ur family cheaply to ur husband dats y his disrespecting dem! U knew he was Insolent while u whr courting and u still went ahead to marry him!my dear uv laid ur bed,get ready to lie on it!dem no born d man wey go disrespect my parents! I go show am say I be heavy Agbakara! No be today we know say yansh de for back! Nonsense!

SteffySoFynSoFlySoJUICY said...

This is a very difficult one. Has it always been like this? How did you end up marrying each other? Talk to him let him understand how serious this is. Respect is reciprocal honey, he shouldn't disrespect your parents and expect you to respect his.Now How the hell did you even get pregnant again sef with such a disrespectful fool oooooops!!! sorry it just came out.







*grabs toothpick*

Anonymous said...

You have no idea, I better let faceless people talk than to go to a family member who wl turn back and laugh at me. That asides even recently his parents asked him to call my parents but he bluntly refused

Anonymous said...

You don't have to insult to make a point, rather than adding fire to d injury look for calm soothing words

300 said...

You Sold Your Family Out before You Got Married To Him, Now This Is The Result. Don't Ever Talk Bad Of Your Family In The Presence Of Your Spouse. It Will BackFire, And You Will Regret It For The Rest Of Your Life.

Anonymous said...

Stella, I love your comment today. If you step on your clothes, don't expect someone to pick it up and fold it for you. Most times, we get carried away and bad mouth our family members, what we don't know is that we are laying the foundation of how others will perceive them and talk about them. In reality when they are giving us back our words, we get angry. Remember primary, secondary school days if you had an older sibling and call him brother or sister something your friends will call them that, but if you call them by name your friends will do the same,, you will now start getting angry that your friends are not giving your elder siblings their due respect but what do you really expect?

Madam Small Chops said...

Thank God your Chronicle is short, still having a headache from yesterdays.

Well , you should have walked away at courtship.Now you will have to teach him to respect your parents,you have to show him how hurt you are everytime he disrespects your family."Wisdom is profitable to direct".


I remember the day my ex talked about my late mum.I don't know where i got the strength to warn him.He broke me with his words and that was the day i made up my mind not to marry him.

Verbal abuse is something i can't deal with, I will rather be single than be in a toxic relationship.

Highest height said...

Madam I know you must have said something bad about ur parent to your husband that is why he has no regard for them. Still I won't blame U, let me be sincere with you, ur hubby does not have home training cos the way I was brought up its not to respect my parents alone but every one older than me so it's very difficult for me to disrespect my parent in-law like wise my Husband, so when he start misbehaving then who can talk to him when ur parents mean nothing. You Have to buy them the respect with Humility else karma mighr catch up with you and your daughter or son inlaw will beat you in future. Take ur stand

Anonymous said...

Blunt what was your take on the chronicle of a lady engaged to a guy who has a white woman supporting his finances? Or that of 20years old lady being hurt by a Yoruba Muslim guy? Responses on both chronicles are exhibits supporting your comment here.
Many times, the poster will be overwhelmed with the number of judgemental comments or wrong advice and won't get to a single good advice before conclusion.

MrsBee

Mosi Jubelo said...

You have to tell him not to disrespect your parents. That's non negotiable. Mschew.

Then don't ever ever say anything negative about them to him.

Anonymous said...

Babe you shouldn't have married him,cos if you guys have an issue in your union (God forbid)who will stand in for you.
But now you are married to him that's the main issue,I think you should talk this through nicely with him and use instances of you disrespecting his folks.assuming you were not pregnant I will advice u take a long walk away from your marriage unless he chooses to make it right.
Don't give up yet,just do your best.
God bless you with wisdom.

PL THE GREAT said...

Blunt, some of your comments don't go down well with me but today, I'm agree with you wholeheartedly!

nina chocomile said...

Poster treat his parents the same way. How you ended up with a man who has no respect for your parents is tiring. That should be the 1st thing you look out for during courtship. Just ignore his parents. Don't insult them. Just ignore them.

Mosi Jubelo said...

That's nonsense nao

RiRi said...

Very petty man and childish too.Gosh I can't deal with this kinda people mehn.
Poster since he doesn't respect ur parents ignore his too in fact cut any r/s with them.

Adanne said...

What in God's name made you end up with such a man. The rudeness of your husband is out of this world.
Any man who insults parents only brings curse to him or herself.
You really b have to call your man to order, whether he wants to hear it or not, running away won't solve the problem, because you neglected the signs during courtship.

Don't ever gossip your family to your husband no matter what, because they alway I mean ALWAYS use it against you.

Goodluck talking to your hubby.

Tonia said...

D mistake of marrying him has bn made but u can approach his parents or ani oda person he respects to help talk to him. Again see if u can create a setting wia ur parents n him cm 2 talk possibly in ur house , who knows they can sort out demselves. Don't forget 2 pray abt .. Wish u luck dear

SWAG LAFRESH said...

It started before marriage and you still married him?

I don't have solution biko

Jay Udoo said...

Simple,stop calling his family members,you only keep in touch with yours,if his family members happen to call you,be very polite with them but DON'T return their calls,don't discuss him with your folks and don't discuss your folks with him,give your self peace jare,he is NOT the god of your father's household.

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...

Poster you knew even before you got married to him y not correct it before d marriage u see d outcome now. Running away won't help you just have to fix what u started.goodluck

Intelligentsia princess said...

Poster ,you shouldn't have married his arrogant ass in the first place,but since you've married him already take it to they Lord in prayer.
I recently called off an engagement becos of this kind of arrogance and disrespectful behavior from the guy. Always saying nonsense about my beloved dad,in fact I took him by surprise bcos he always feels I can't live without him.shioor.
Women don't always start what you can't finish.
#single and happy #

Intelligentsia princess said...

Doppel chop kiss.
Alot of women sold out their family very cheap on the alter of love and they always end up paying dearly for it.
Tabata ara ile eni lopo, alerira lowon(if you sold out your family for 1kobo, you can never buy it back for 1million.)

Loveme Jeje said...

Chai. Why would your 🐴 band not respect your parents and you foolishly married him. Behave like him too na. Do me I do you.

Better take care of yourself and look after your pregnancy.

I am not happy jare, some one good died all because of wahala from children who don't have respect at all

lola said...

That is how you ladies to spouse and cry wolf when he becomes disrespectful to them,madam tell us the truth,you told him too much about your family during the courtship,if you presented your parents well before him and even respect them behind their back in his presence he would have done likewise but no,you gist him how a nonsense man your dad and mum was abeg wetin you dey expect.....some people get married and forget they had parents before their in-laws came into the picture, they go around flaunting in-laws everywhere on social media with very disgusting write up but will never post their parents.let me tell you something, there is none like family,always have that at the back of your mind

Blackberry said...

Very onesided, there must be a reason for this behaviour.

GOONs Mi said...

What I can deduce from your writeup is that you washed your family's dirty linens to your husband.


Dear sisters, let's use our brains, stop reporting your family to your hubby, especially during courtship.

My advise to you is report him to his parents lovily. if you guys are close o. I cant deal with a man who won't respect my family especially my parents.

If it doesn't work go ICED cold on his family too and make it obvious. No be by quarrel.

Anonymous said...

Very stupid woman

Nne nwa said...

lemme tell you what i would do if i were in your shoes.

stop calling his parents and sibling, don't disrespect them but keep your distance.

talk to your parents, apologise on his behave.

and pray, pray like a mad woman.

Olabanji Olajide said...

What is the solution? Hian..!! Solution solution.. That's y it's called chronicles.. Give yur advice, stop castigating..!! HV always noticed yu.. Gv yur advice simple..

Young and getting it Right! said...

I look forward to your comments.
Nice

Fidel Castro said...

Savage chronicle

Olabanji Olajide said...

Well said.. They already started..Eye service Fucktards

Peppi said...

I tink d lady is from a poor background n d guy from a wealthy family. Na so e dey be

Ifeoma1010 said...

Madam, how in the world did you marry a nigga who got no iota of respect for ya parents?! You blind ni?! It's either this story is one sided or you just fell maga for this man. A man who does not respect your parents will one day disrespect you bad bad. Abi who handed you over in marriage? Ok. Make we dey watch how this season film go end na.


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Olabanji Olajide said...

U DT call ursef intelligent... Intelligent is far from yu

Blackberry said...

Maybe u guys should not remind him to call again, don't talk about your parents in his presence, just be doing ur private calls to family like you've been doing.

Anonymous said...

Lemmi perch here,mine is d reverse! My family don't respect my hubby. He caused it by acting crazy but now he is trying to make amends d insults no be here. Anyways I told him not to force it,they 'll come around someday!

Anonymous said...

Really?????
Please lets be realistic,she should leave because of this???

chioma Agu said...

You place your parents very lowly to him before marriage and you expect him to take them high... You must be high on some cheap drugs. I tell my siblings at all times that the way you place your family or talk about your family to your lovers is the way they will treat them. And any misbehaviour from any of them will get it really hot. Respect and family love is everything.....

Anonymous said...

I grew up in a family where mom has no respect for dad's family.. Reasons are unknown but I do feel it's because mom's family is wealthy and dad's family is poor. But dad don't let this stuff bother him as a man that he is.. They quarrel over it but they faced their own family 26years in the marriage and still counting.. I dunno how this helps but you gots face your family and talk to your husband.. Let your mom make the call.. This is your family oooh! Your can't run away from it

Cookie said...

Donnie,im not happy with you oooooo

ukwu dimond said...

When a man refuse to respect his in-laws that means the guy has see his in-laws finish, you need wisdom to handle this, became full with any decision you may want to take. Prayers will go along way.

Anonymous said...

Dear poster, this same thing happened to me. In my case, during courtship my parents refused me getting married to him and always insulted him anytime he tried reaching out to them. When we finally got married, he wouldn't let go of the past and now has this hatred towards them. When I had my first baby, u needed to see the kind of fight between he, my mum and siblings to the extent that I packed my things and made up my mind to leave. He begged that night and we all returned home. After several family meetings, they are now cordial towards each other, atleast my second omugwo was a whole lot better. Please pray seriously about it and while at it, reduce the level of communication with his family. Be very polite when they call you, atleast they wldnt have any case against you. Try to provide for your parents from whatever you have,do not ask him for help no matter how much you need it. This is the story of my life and so far I have been able to regain my sanity this way. Live and let's live.and lastly, please be mindful of the things u say about him to them and vice versa

Anonymous said...

Madam, u saw the sign and still went ahead one day he will send u back to them A man that dosnt have regards for ur parents can't even have regards for u. That's how my ex-boifrnd keeps insulting me and my family and blames it on anger, he always comes bak to apologise. Bt the most recent one Cld nt be forgiven so I jst had to let go. It's painful tho bt I can't stand a guy who insults my mum & siblings at the slightest provocation.

Iphie dearie said...

I see them insulting both her husband and even her parents up there👆👆

Anonymous said...

My dad has been like that to my mums family and they have been married for 31years, I wonder why she didn't leave earlier. He tried to rope us into the situation but we refuse and adore my mums people so much. Unfortunately for him, we are 5girls and my eldest sisters husband disrespects him so much. The day he complained, I reminded him of karma and told him he deserves whatever he gets. I pray and won't let my husband disrespect my family when I marry because despite everything that happens between us in that house, I still love them so much. Poster, I don't know why your husband disrespects your family but it gets worse when kids become involved if it's not settled now. He will order them not to visit your people, he will order you not to. Visit your people with his kids, if. You can't take the heat, u better leave the kitchen now, I swear it doesn't get better but there's nothing God can't do. U can pray that God changes his mind to be civil towards them or remind him of karma n how he will feel if same is done to him. If he's not strong headed like my dad, hopefully he will change. I wish u happiness in your marriage, Amen

Anonymous said...

My dad has been like that to my mums family and they have been married for 31years, I wonder why she didn't leave earlier. He tried to rope us into the situation but we refuse and adore my mums people so much. Unfortunately for him, we are 5girls and my eldest sisters husband disrespects him so much. The day he complained, I reminded him of karma and told him he deserves whatever he gets. I pray and won't let my husband disrespect my family when I marry because despite everything that happens between us in that house, I still love them so much. Poster, I don't know why your husband disrespects your family but it gets worse when kids become involved if it's not settled now. He will order them not to visit your people, he will order you not to. Visit your people with his kids, if. You can't take the heat, u better leave the kitchen now, I swear it doesn't get better but there's nothing God can't do. U can pray that God changes his mind to be civil towards them or remind him of karma n how he will feel if same is done to him. If he's not strong headed like my dad, hopefully he will change. I wish u happiness in your marriage, Amen

Anonymous said...

I am in the same boat with you poster. This one even insults my mumblike say dem b mate. Calls her her first name when talking ro others. All because my mum dey advise am. He thinks he is above advise. The woman kpakpa stay her own but he wont let her be. He arry my matter go report me to her she said she no wan listen cos e matter no dey ever good yet he wont leave her alone. I didn't see any of these behaviour before we married. He acted so sweet. Hmmm little did i know he is a narcissist. I no con even send am again. I work hard and make enough money for all my meeds and kids. He is more or less a room mate. If he insults my mum, i just tell him to try something new cos he has said that before or did he run out of what to say. It hurts oh but make am feel irrelevant. Sometimes if it is too much, i dey return the favour then e go cool down.

Posh said...

It's well

Posh said...

It's well

Fuck you said...

U be Mumu honestly people like u hardly gives practical response...do u know how hard d lady has prayed..ignorant fuck...if u don't have any advice simply take a walk...am sure if ur husband ask for advice d only thing ur mouth will say is pray...prayer without work is dead God gave us brain and u should learn to use yes..iranu

Fuck you said...

True

Fuck you said...

U better start standing up against ur husband because no matter what has happened between ur parents and him he has no right to insult dem anyhow is because Ure keeping quiet that's why he continues one day he will insult ur parents in front of ur frnds

Vivilicious said...

Anon...If what you've written is what actually happened, den you had no business marrying him in d 1st place. But since you already have, I'll advise you to stop Worrying about it and also continue to respect his parents. I believe with time, whatever grudges he has against your folks will gradually fade away from his mind. Stop worrying about it and make sure you never talk bad about any of your family to him or in his presence. My 2 cents.

Anonymous said...

I'm in this boat too, he doesn't insult them but refused to acknowledge them and behave like a a member of the family. Instead he is attaching himself to his ex family. We live outside the country. Imagine my uncle that live in another state closer to us has he has never spoken to,even after I encouraged him to give him a call as my uncle was not at our marriage in Nigeria, he is suppose to take wine and go greet them but for where. He wasn't like this before we got married in Nigeria and I followed him to the states. He is about to estrange me from the rest of my family and I can't bear that. I have resolved to call my uncle and other relative this new year to see if I can make a fresh start with them. And after I put to put, if things don't change, I'm taking a walk from the marriage. I don't care if he is the one that brought me to the states. I was not sold to slavery biko. Imagine, someone that use to call my mum in the village when I was in Nigeria,can no longer call her and will not even pick his phone when they call except when my mum speaks to him through my phone. I have already made up my mind and he.dont even know it.im pregnant with my second and scan says I'm going to have a second daughter and I'm kind of happy about it. Imagine wanting us to borrow his ex aunt to come do omugwo for me and I bluntly refused since then, we have been fighting. I can take anything but disrespecting my family and cutting off my family support is the last straw. I have been planning to write this chronicle to stella but yet to find time. My plan is set. I will sponsor my mum to come for omugwo for at least sis months so I go back to work as soon as I put to bed. As soon as my mum leaves, I'm leaving too. I don't know yet weather to take the kids. He is actually good in taking care of our daughter and have his own house. I don't want anything from him, will come for my babys as soon as I get settled. First thing first, start mending fences come new year with my extended family here. He has never been to see them and most was not in Nigeria when we got married. I just pray God help me and they treat me like we use to be.

Sylviaasss said...

People send in chronicles here not to be tongue lashed, it's bad enough they're dealing with issues why add to it with unnecessary insults why???
We all need to be constructive and not destructive in giving out advises
The fact that the poster is facing this does not mean you don't have your demons you're fighting too
That said poster run to God i mean RUN!!!
don't talk about it again, don't force him to forgive or make any call
Just go on your knees and pray
I wonder why people under rate the power of prayers.
Every night pour out your pains to your creator amd stand up to love him more
It's hard but ask the holy spirit to help you love him and his family members more during this period.
You yourself will see that he will just be uncomfortable and the hand of God will assist you to give him a change of heart
The bible says heart of kings and men is in God's hands your husband is not an exception.
I pray God gives you wisdom like never before to handle this issue
*E hugs*

Anonymous said...

So many things can make a man behave in this way and I would expect the man to respond to this complaint. I have found myself in this situation with my in-laws and believe me it's not rosy.

Before my traditional marriage, I was given a list by my father in-law through my wife. After sometime he invited me over and increased the list which I refused to oblige insisting I was working with the original one. That really caused a big problem but was settled after I selected some items in the new list. In my mind, after the marriage since they are selling off their daughter, there won't be any contact. Besides, she was still in 2nd year and I will ensure she completes her studies. I gave them money for the traditional marriage up-to firewood and water for cooking. Her elder siblings were taking that the money I brought should be increased which made my family suggest I burst the entire arrangement and look for someone else since her family was behaving badly. She begged and we continued.

After the traditional marriage, while planning for the wedding she once slept over in my base her in Lagos but on getting home his elder brother gave her the beating of her life, asking why she would sleep outside. I was MAD and would have dealt with him because traditionally she was my wife since the dowry and everything had been finalised. Again, her parents expected me to always visit them and update them on the wedding preparations but I insisted my work wouldn't allow that and my wife could do the update since we were doing the planning together. Her Dad refused and once slapped her when I saw the scare, I was mad since my wife had become a 👊 bag. In summary, the wedding came and gone without their single involvement either in cash or kind. I wasn't bothered anyway since I prepared well for the wedding.

After the wedding,MIL visited in 2 days time to inquire if she had resumed school uninvited. Meanwhile, our honey moon was shifted so she could get back to school. When MIL was informed my wife had taken in, she came uninvited urging me to register for ante natal when my wife confirmed she told her we had done such.

In all, I dislike family interference in my marriage which I had successfully done with my family so my wife can be happy and free but her family keeps getting into my space which I don't like.

Her parents expects I call every week, tell them when am leaving town and when am back. I just feel they want to control my marriage but I have refused.

It's 3 years now but I am not close to them and don't care. I call when I think I should and visit when it's convenient. Infact, we plan relocating to another state so we can have our peace.

When you see a man behave in such manner, there must be a cause.

ndiani said...

So happy you told her d truth. My elder sister runs her mouth like tap to her husband told him everything that a woman shouldn't say about her family. The man started giving us attitude first he told my sister that my mum can no longer visit them he only want his own mother to come and visit them next na witch him say my mama be and no member of her family should visit them again. Thank God we are OK financially who him epp. Next one was to stop her from pains employment now she is a full time house girl. Hope she has learnt her lesson from spoiling your family bcos of one dick that will die one day. LAdies take note

Anonymous said...

God bless your wisdom anon 15:51, keep your family issues within. In this case, your hubby and his parents, you and your parents are obviously involved and these are all the people that deserves a follow up on this issue.
Since he has refused his parents order let it be!! You shouldn't flee from your home on this grounds except there are other reasons to do so.
We out here don't know how much your hubby loves you, I would have suggest you threaten to leave him, watch it please, Some men will readily help you out!!

Your best bet might be to totally ignore or act not bothered with the situation. Hopefully he'll come around soon.

Have you thought that there is a possibility that you offended your hubby and this is his way of getting back at you? Some men are this way and you will be shocked when they table their reasons.
Either way, don't aggravate by nagging, get off the 'be in good terms with my folks'. Once you have gained your hubby's heart and trust &/ forgiveness, he will open up and make ammendment.

MrsBee

Isaacson said...

If he wants them to call him son,then he should act like a son to them simple

Anonymous said...

This sound like what nearly happened between me and one ifeayi like that. Very rude to his own parent and has started already talkin trash about my own parent even though I was already pregnant I took a long walk. God help me out sha

Anonymous said...

My dear,if a man actually wrote this.I actually will think it is my husband.Tame your tongue.If u continually paint your family in bad light before ur husbsnd,he can never respect ur parents.My husband has succeeded in wrecking my personality before his family and vice versa.We don't make contact anymore.It has even affected our own relationship such that communication has shut down completely.cos he quotes everything to them.

Anonymous said...

Anonymous keep looking for soothing words. You brought it upon yourself. I was in you situation mone was even worse cos I got pregnant before marriage bit when he started with his insult of both mine and his parents. Pregnant or not I took a long walk. You called off the marriage to think that my friend kept telling me to Marry that he will change I made up my mine I had to leave when I never say I do. My live is more important that any fucking marriage or Mrs.

nnuku Sexy pant-like boxers. 08170506432 Order now said...

Na WA!!

Anonymous said...

Anonymous so he doesn't even listen to his parents. Well you case is sorry. Manage. Worse is him transferring this stupid character to your kids

Anonymous said...

Anonymous you are married to children. Simple

BluntChic said...

This is what happens when parents refuse to train the Male child with the parochial believe that only girls should be groomed.

OR

Could it be that your parents depends totally on him for their feeding?

Anonymous said...

@ Bluntchic...aren't you an extraordinary fool? I'm sure you can deduce the grooming the poster is showcasing, abi? Chauvinistic moron

Anonymous said...

@ Doppelgänger, please pardon my curiosity but where's the line between not keep secrets from your spouse and having a limit to what you can share with him? You can't be blowing hot & cold @ same time...choose one.

Anonymous said...

Did your parents charge him millions of naira for marrying you? sometimes men hold grudges based on parents greed during the wedding. Like refusing to budge on certain items on the marriage list and acting like it is a buy and sell transaction. That is where men begin to lose respect for their wife's parents.

Anonymous said...

Anonymous 17:39...so you're actually foolish enough to tell the world your family disrespects your husband & even stupidly justify it that he caused it? Lemme school you about marital life...anyone who disrespects your spouse has disrespected you (be it your family or his family). It's only a matter of time before a family member will remind you of how idiotic you are to have married & probably had kids for the man the treat like thrash. I don't care what my wife has done, if you know me, come & report her to me but if you feel you're hotheaded, I can guarantee one of us will have a REALLY BAD DAY! If you look at the ring on her finger & do rubbish, best believe you have 6ft 3" & 130kg of me to contend with...no questions asked. Your spouse is your CROWN, I don't care what he/she has done, you protect his/her interest 1st and scold him/her when y'all are alone. I'm sorry but I think you're actually the dumbest of them all for justifying what your family is doing to your hubby, even if they caught him in bed with your sister or mother

Anonymous said...

Anonymous 15:10...your experience is peculiar to you & the parameters are different, please don't come & wreck whatever's left of this family. Since you left your own, I'm sure it's been a smooth sail & very rewarding and that's why you're looking for company is your miserable state

Anonymous said...

This why it's very...very important for people,mostly women to always have good balance in life in any relationship especially in marriage or such important intimate & personal relationship. Because at the end of the day you don't know what the other person will do?
Money, pregnancy, major life changes that require to adapt can bring out the worst & unimaginable from people so close & important in your life to change against you!!!
Don't condone bad treatment from a spouse, in laws or any significant other against things or people close to your heart.
Know that respect is totally different from "liking" someone. A man or woman in relationship with you must respect your folks if you care for them, unless in cases of estrangement & non- existence family contact & relationship.
Some families also choose for their best interest to shun or do away with one another & that can be understandable.
For example the Royal family in Britain today has no personal association with the Spencers right now and it is like that for almost 20 years now, even though the future generations of British King (s) are from the Spencer family. Earl Spencer (Diana's) brother was not invite to the baptism of either Prince George and his sister, Princess Charlotte. They've totally ignored & removed the Spencer family from any such importance or significance.

Try & build a mutual respectful relationship between your husband & your parents or family.

Goodluck!

Anonymous said...

Madam 20:06 please do not leave him. Talk to his folks or people that are close to him to help, but do not leave him. There are people in worse situations than you.

Anonymous said...

Madam, let me share my own experience & hopefully you'll be able to read in between lines & probably see the results of some actions you're probably considering...the biggest mistake I made was reporting my wife to my MIL! I'm not particularly a phone person, my wife speaks with my own parents more than they speak with me, so you can imagine how frequent I'm in contact with my wife's family but whenever I had a fight with my wife, I'll call my MIL to warn her daughter & 1 day she called my bluff & told me to do whatever I wished, in that rage I responded in a disrespectful tone & my wife took it to heart. I knew she was hurting but I justified my actions in my mind. She tactful stopped relating with my own family but being the kind of person I am, I just brushed it aside & it didn't mean much but I knew her actions were as a result of mine. Communication broke down between us, we couldn't come together as a couple & agree to break a broomstick & other issues which plunged our marriage into the corridors of divorce but somehow, we managed to go for a marriage counseling course that dealt with everything in marriage from finances to in-laws, sex, etc. I was taught & compelled to mend fences with my MIL & today it's all gravy. Don't listen to these advices from the pit of hell to walk away from your marriage, you voluntarily took those vows...for better for worse. This is just the tip of the iceberg & you're already running? If it was infidelity, what would you do? Please continue to relate with your in-laws, you can't punish them for their son's misdoings. If it was something you said to him about your family that's bringing this disrespect, unfortunately you can't take it back but you can determine how it affects your future. Sit hubby down & pour out your soul, learn his love language (www.5lovelanguages.com) & win your husband back. When 2 elephants fight, the grass suffers...don't tear the family fabric over this issue. Have a chat with your parents, acknowledge your hubby hasn't been the best he can be but he's surely work in progress, begin to work on their views about hubby & help hubby closer to God for a change of heart. Remember you can't change people, but you can give them reasons to change for themselves.

unknown user said...

Vivilicious you are smart, good advise. Never judge from onesided story.

unknown user said...

Nice and true talk.

Anonymous said...

It only shows that the man is not matured... No matter what your wife said to you about her family you have to deal with it maturely and respond to them maturely. All I see are immature men.... Man no dey carry things for mind

Anonymous said...

Yes oh!
They (hushands) will consider a merchandise from merchants bought & no strings attached. After do make friends with Jumia or shoprite owner or care to ask them how far? You don't to know them. And the mother in law nuisance or extended family parasite may continue long and I don't blame husbands who shut that door to their face.
Shikena!

Anonymous said...

Endtime advice...are you trying to break off whatever family bond that is left? What has her parents inlaws done to her that she should start avoiding them? Na so una dey spread hate dey increase the little problem you have already because of stupid ego

Anonymous said...

What exactly would she be praying for? Since she's also burnt the bridge between her & her inlaws in a bid to get at the husband who obviously doesn't give a shit? You twist ankle, just when you're about to go see a doctor, you now fracture it, hoping for the doctor to restore is back to pre-twist setting?

SANDY NEKY said...

Poster, lock up and do same to his parents jare like they don't exist. He's not liking it ko. When you do same, he might be forced to call for peace someday. Indulge in things that will make you happier in this your preggy state. This blog alone is enough to make your day you know! Lool! Selfish man

Anonymous said...

Anon 00:31,you are dull and your type will die because of a man

Anonymous said...

You want to leave your husband because of family!!!! Famiky that have lived their lives and are still living it. You want your kids to grow up in a broken home abi, no problem go and marry your family na onye ara

Vickie berries said...

1 million likes

Anonymous said...

But bluntchick is right too. U can't give what you never had. If he had been taught to respect others no matter what was told him by his wife he would still show a bit of respect for his wife's parents.


Marjorie

BluntChic said...

Anon 23:51.... You are an orubebe... Oh! Why are you so pained? HER HUSBAND WAS NOT PROPERLY TRAINED! SIMPLY!.

Anonymous said...

20:06 I feel your pain but I am not sure leaving your husband is the solution. As 00:31 pointed out his issue is with your family and not you directly. At least try to fix things before you leave. Find out why he is behaving the way he is. Has he been bewitched by his ex or/and having an affair with her? Is it that he is a narcissist or a proud Leo, does he fear God? Have you offended him? So many questions to ask. Marriage vows should not be taken lightly. You mentioned he cares for the kids and you are not saying he is treating you badly. Do you pray sincerely for him and about how you want God to touch him and change you for the better? Does he have a good side? Do you still love him? My dear when you discover the root of your problem then a solution is not far from you. If you leave will you be ok being alone? If you get another man do you think he would be better? The grass often looks greener on the other side. Most successful couples you see have their own share of challenges but they recognise the importance of their relationship and choose to hold on, forgive and ignore and magnify their good points. In summary try to fix things first before leaving.

Anonymous said...

00:07 chop kiss 😙. You are a good guy.

Anonymous said...

If you are a Christian though some BVs may curse I will advise you to pray about it. As a Christian never revenge. Treat his parents with respect and be very kind to them. Pray about the issue specifically, I believe God will answer. As for your parents for now try to fill in the gap of your spouse. Treat your parents extra nice. Apologize on his behalf if he offends them in your presence, by gifts for them in his name. Let them see him in a good light so that they will not be antagonistic towards him. I pray that God will fix your relationship and you will come with your testimony.

Ishola champion said...

First I think there is lot more to what she typed....What efontry will he have to insult in-law and by even call them to say hello and they don't have the courage to rubbish him....
I believe the d girl got pregnant then dey did engagement just to make tinz legal, maybe during there courtship, the parent of the lady rubbished him, may be dey don't want there daughter to marry him initially but gat of choice because of the pregnancy. But still that didn't give him d guts....And note she said her mother in-law must call his own mum before she can call them..And both families has settled there differences. Meaning it's beyond what she typed...What difference are the family settling...Maybe during the tossle the wife parent really degraded the husband family he is now taking revenge...All I know if it's more than what she report

Ishola champion said...

First I think there is lot more to what she typed....What efontry will he have to insult in-law and by even call them to say hello and they don't have the courage to rubbish him....
I believe the d girl got pregnant then dey did engagement just to make tinz legal, maybe during there courtship, the parent of the lady rubbished him, may be dey don't want there daughter to marry him initially but gat of choice because of the pregnancy. But still that didn't give him d guts....And note she said her mother in-law must call his own mum before she can call them..And both families has settled there differences. Meaning it's beyond what she typed...What difference are the family settling...Maybe during the tossle the wife parent really degraded the husband family he is now taking revenge...All I know if it's more than what she report

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