Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: When Family Ties Interfer With Love...

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Tuesday, 7 February 2017

When Family Ties Interfer With Love...

Its time for the Couch session.....OMG sit down!




I would never ever think of being with someone whose family says NO.
I just Imagine the Magnitude of the stress.....I feel its a dead on arrival Relationship.......

What would you do?What do you think?Any real life experiences?









119 comments:

Istanbul said...

No I wouldn't rather I will try my best to be loved by them.would have shared a life experience but I learnt SDK bvs has no cool on that, tomorrow you might be mocked with our story. So am not sharing

LOLO IDEATO said...

Grabs Remote and turns off DV

Busola Tosin said...

This is what i'm going through ATM. The stress is too much and its psychologically draining.

QUEEN AMY Loves ACCESS BANK said...

My family said no initially but changed their stance immediately Boo gave them a check of 10million. Love conquers all

MhizVee said...

If his family says no, then I'm gone. I no get power for stress abeg.

Becky Divine said...

It depends

1) If he truly loves me with all of his heart, soul and body. And he can stand up to his family for my sake, can make decisions on his own without his family bbeing involved. Then YES I will definitely marry him and damn all consequences

2) But if he is a mummy's boy, fiercely loyal to his family and can't make any decisions without them being involved. Then NO I cannot marry such a person

Favourite Girl said...

I would never go ahead with such relationship. I don't want to be sad all my life.

Anonymous said...

I will never be with a man whose family isn't in support of our relationship. Its bad and It can get really messy.

Blackberry said...

Yebo!
Family will always be there for me in case things go south.

Yori Yori Princess Loveme Jeje said...

When families disagree on your marraige to be, better run and leave the guy or lady except it is the will of God for you to marry him or her

BIPOLAR ME said...

Do not try it.

Most especially if your parents are IN THE LORD.

That's why the bible says "Children, obey your parents IN the lord".

The bible is a complete book, I tell you.

There are parents who will say No because of the wealth/class of your intended spouse, the beauty or maybe his genealogy.

Just ask them why? Don't be defensive or angry with them, let them tell you why, then fall on your knees and pray that God should show you a sign on the mentioned issue and that if he/she is who God destined for you, let your parents have a change of mind.

If all signs are negative, DO NOT do it. Do NOT.
The issue with that kind of marriage will be that you just have to make it work, no matter what happens, you will keep patching and patching until it will become unpatchable....

Unfortunately you will have no one to report him/her to for caution because you don't want to hear "I told you so".

May God direct us and give us listening ears.

Highness Gwen said...

I will cut off Stella cos I just cnt imagine myself getting married to a man whose family don't want me.

olami4eva said...

If the family of your spouse to be doesn't like you and it's been shown openly or you notice it please call yourself to attention.
I remember an ex whose mum called me to tell me like a mother to daughter that she already has a girl she wants her son to marry I thanked her and moved on its not always the end of the world am married now the ex and I still in contact and still do business with his family through him though.
It's not adviceable .My five naira


#Godswaitingroom

Sweetheart said...

Hmmmmmn..this is deep. I can only give a honest reply if i've found myself in this situation but i haven't. But it definitely cannot be a nice thing if his people do not like you.

White Diamond said...

This is very dicey, really.

Your parents' blessings are important while able to get married, but if they're just being sentimental, what then?

Tribe is top on the list of reasons while some parents refuse to give their blessings. It's sad, very sad. I'm a very liberal person, and by God, I will be a liberal parent, husband man too. I've seen tribe get in the way of true love so many times and a few of them never get over it. A handful cave in and go ahead to have turbulent marriages with other people or their parents' choices.

I have a friend who got married to a non Igbo. It was war from day one. She eventually got pregnant and forced their hand, before they allowed her marry him. First grandchild later, they are okay with her choice. Not all parents would do that. Some would just disown you.

Another one is the outcast brouhaha. I don't even know what to say about that. Might need some enlightenment here, because I don't know why Christians are also particular about something I say should be scrapped. Her great great great great grandfather was an osu. Ehn? So, does it mean she'll eat all the children in her womb or she's bad luck and therefore doesn't deserve to get married?

If one's family do not accept their boo, it's either they win them over or they let go. Especially, when their reasons are sentimental or tribalistic. Shouting or doing gragra would just turn it to a war of wills. And of course, the elders would want to prove that they are older. Instead of making threats, prove to them that this person is different. That it's not all about culture or whatever. And it's also important to be entirely sure that the person you're fighting for, is totally worth it. Else, na for your head e go fall if you decide to defy them.

I don't think that eloping is a very wise thing to do though.

I have a friend whose parents said no when her brother wanted to get married. To an Igbo girl o, but another state, just imagine. I give it to Igbos, our own tribalism no be here. Anyway, he fought tooth and nail. 11 years later, everyone loves and respects that woman. And she's been a blessing to that family.

If it's because of medical issues however, like the genotype thingy, please, dust your shoes and move on. The consequences are better imagined than experienced.

Okay, typing from a busy place. I hope I made a little sense. Lmao!

Hey bloggie. Saw your shout out the other day. Cava?

#WhiteDiamondOut

Anonymous said...

I've called off a relationship that was leading to marriage and I'll do it again.

BLOGLORD said...

I will find out their reasons for saying "NO"
Is it my attitude? Is it my character? Is there something wrong I am doing?
If yes, I will work on it.

Is it because they have preference for a particular tribe?
Is it because they have someone they feel is better off?
If yes, I will not relent except their son is tilting towards pleasing them.

True love has no boundaries except when one of both parties is unwilling.

Sometimes it's better to take the bold step standing on your ground for your parents/folks to realize muccchhhhh later that you did right and proved them wrong

Do what makes you happy not necessarily what pleases others.
Remember, You first!

I am king EZE said...

All healthy relationships are built on trust, respect and communication, and that includes your relationship with your family. If you already have a relatively healthy relationship with your family members (in other words, you feel safe talking to them and aren’t worried about them becoming verbally or physically abusive), it could help to find out what their specific objections are to your partner/relationship.If the relationship is causing too much strife with your family, you might consider taking a step back and building a friendship with your partner while you work things out with your family members, if that’s possible. Ultimately, what’s important is that you do what’s healthiest for you and your life. My 2 cents!

Anonymous said...

My ex usually stayed at his elder sister's (she is married with kids) place whenever he was in town. We were supposed to go out together and because I was a bit early, I had to wait a bit in his sister's house for him to get ready. Soon after I sat down in the sitting room and he went in to shower, his elder sister came out and completely ignored my greetings. Then the next thing she did was to tell me that it was wrong for me to come see her brother in her house and that I was teaching her kids (university undergraduates o) to be promiscuous. She practically ordered me out of her house and I had to go wait in my car. She always made it clear that she hated me (it was weird as it was my first time of meeting anyone who didn't like me). Well, to cut the story short, I made my ex understand that I didn't want any troubles with his family and since she had refused to accept me despite my efforts to please her (she wanted my ex to be with someone else), I couldn't go on with the relationship. My ex eventually convinced me that he had talked things over with her and that she had accepted and was looking forward to seeing me again, but I discovered that the guy didn't even have a job and had been lying to me the whole time, so I broke our engagement off immediately. He also lied about his sister's change of heart, so I just capitalized on that and severed ties with the guy. I found out he later married the girl his sister wanted and he still didn't have a job! Poor girl, don't you think?

Anonymous said...

Stella,
Life itself is a huge risk. When you take that risk of little or no support of your union from the onset, the wife especially should pray, be a little odeish, and most esp try not to report when issues arise. Be civil and gradually things will pick up.
Anyways not everyone will be happy with you choice of partner!
Live your life well cause at the end of the day, you'll live with it all by your self o.

miss Aboki the great said...

Lemme read comments.

Atheist ™ said...

A high percentage that damn the consequences & take the bull literally by the horn to the aisle, mostly hit the rocks few yrs along the line, after series of bumps on the road with a huge question mark sign hanging on either of their heads that captions " was it really worth it afterall? " Maybe its psychological, i really can't tell or lack of parental blessings plays a major role in their cracked union. Altho some family come up with selfish reasons as to stand in the way of their love, in such cases, the individual in question i the only one who knws how much he needs her in his life.

Missprettyw said...

Yes o! I can't be fighting battles o

Jasmine said...

I'll break it off him if his family doesn't support us o. And if my family is saying no too, I ain't going no where. We must settle first. I don't av strength for family wahala

Atheist ™ said...

Activate anonymous mode na

Atheist ™ said...

Side eyes*

Emilogist said...

No way oo... I will back out as fast as possible

olaedo said...

You overmake sense sef..

Anonymous said...

So what if the guy's family accepts the lady but half of the lady's family don't accept the guy? Will you advice the lady to go ahead and marry the guy?

Jasmine said...

For how long will he stand up to his family for your sake?

Anonymous said...

If my family said no, I'd go ahead and marry him. If his Family said no, I wouldn't.

My family, I know. We never say " I told you so". We support each other when things go south. So, if for some reason things don't work out,they got my back.

MISS Jacobs.

LUCILE COCONUT OIL ABUJA 07059605320 Pin- 2BC6235E said...

Lol

LUCILE COCONUT OIL ABUJA 07059605320 Pin- 2BC6235E said...

Welcome

lastborn said...

U can marry a bad husband,but can't manage bad inlaws.

miss Aboki the great said...

Go anon na

Anonymous said...

this just reminded me of my ex,my mom said NO and I could not just understand why. I continued the relationship and in less than a year I had to leave because he lacks integrity from one police case to the other, a serial cheat, he promised 3 different girls marriage all to get money from them. Wetin old man sit down see if u like climb mount Everest u no go see am. Obedience is better than sacrifice.

Anonymous said...

this just reminded me of my ex,my mom said NO and I could not just understand why. I continued the relationship and in less than a year I had to leave because he lacks integrity from one police case to the other, a serial cheat, he promised 3 different girls marriage all to get money from them. Wetin old man sit down see if u like climb mount Everest u no go see am. Obedience is better than sacrifice.

Great lady said...

Ehya,kpele.

Anonymous said...

this just reminded me of my ex,my mom said NO and I could not just understand why. I continued the relationship and in less than a year I had to leave because he lacks integrity from one police case to the other, a serial cheat, he promised 3 different girls marriage all to get money from them. Wetin old man sit down see if u like climb mount Everest u no go see am. Obedience is better than sacrifice.

Anonymous said...

Some are saying back out because you have never being in the situation. I am presently experiencing family ish from the guys family due to selfish interests from his family and worst of all all girls family, he is the only boy. We both are in tune with each other and he shows me love, I am just at a crossroad I don't know what to do.

Harobed Khan said...

that's where many gals make mistakes that hunt dem for life saying stuffs like I will make dem love me, if he's head over heels in love with me bla bla bla like it or not saying yes to him means saying yes to his family and if said family ain't feeling ur vibes bounce cos no matter how hard u try who no like u no like u dat marriage can never be sweet. wen ur husband's family dislikes u d tot of any family gathering will scare d shit outta u no need for such stress especially in this recession. abeg

Anonymous said...

We are a family of 7 and my mum is against all of us getting married. As soon as 1 will introduce a eligible candidate, she will just get upset and say no. My eldest got married despite my mum being firmly against it. We all gang up against her and beg her to be happy for us, but she was not having it.
On the wedding day she never smile nor greeted anybody. She would not eat, drink or dance and it was so heartbreaking and humiliating for us. The marriage only lasted 2 years and did not produce any children.
As soon as my mum heard the news that the marriage was in trouble or that my eldest miscarried, she was in a state of jubilation. So my guess is that she may die of sorrow if any of us bear children or get married.
I have started to suspect that she may have got a convenant with the devil, that's why she is against our success. Who knows, maybe the 7 of us are her spiritual husbands, cos i would not understand it otherwise. She gets so jealous as if she owns us and we are to grow old in her house.
Everyday i pray to God that whatever my mum did against us must be annulled, because we were not part of it. May God deliver us from my evil mum.

Anonymous said...

We are a family of 7 and my mum is against all of us getting married. As soon as 1 will introduce a eligible candidate, she will just get upset and say no. My eldest got married despite my mum being firmly against it. We all gang up against her and beg her to be happy for us, but she was not having it.
On the wedding day she never smile nor greeted anybody. She would not eat, drink or dance and it was so heartbreaking and humiliating for us. The marriage only lasted 2 years and did not produce any children.
As soon as my mum heard the news that the marriage was in trouble or that my eldest miscarried, she was in a state of jubilation. So my guess is that she may die of sorrow if any of us bear children or get married.
I have started to suspect that she may have got a convenant with the devil, that's why she is against our success. Who knows, maybe the 7 of us are her spiritual husbands, cos i would not understand it otherwise. She gets so jealous as if she owns us and we are to grow old in her house.
Everyday i pray to God that whatever my mum did against us must be annulled, because we were not part of it. May God deliver us from my evil mum.

Yvonne said...

it isn't a good idea to get married to someone either his/her parents doesn't approve of your union. it makes absolutely no sense. Except you prayed and God told you he/she is the right person for you then you can go on your knees & pray to God that if truly its his will, he should soften their heart towards you.....i had a similar experience, My mother inlaw didn't like me & was against my marriage to my husband said she wated her son to marry oyinbo, person wey never reach border before. but we both prayed and fasted & we got convinced we were meant to be together...Once we got that, we just prayed that if truly its his will, he should soften his mum's heart and let her approve the marriage without even trying to cajole her physically and it happened. Years after we got married, she denied ever being against our marriage...Gangster benin woman!

anonymous said...

No ,no matter how much the guy loves me I'll run for my life.
My sister was stubborn and married the love of her life even when his family rejected her,the guys family distanced themselves from my sister and her husband after the wedding (he is from a very wealthy home) it got to a point my family started footing their bills cos the guy is a pastor from a small church so money was kind of tight for him, unfortunately he had an accident around a hausa dominated area last year injuring 2 people he stopped to help them then he was ambushed and killed cos they saw a bible in his car they kept chanting infidel, He died leaving my sister with her 3month old baby,my heart is still heavy cos he was a very humble and nice guy,he will be 1 year on Sunday, my family is taking care of the baby.so if the guys family decides they dont want me ill breakup wit the guy ive learnt from my sisters mistake.

Anonymous said...

I remember the day I went to see an old friend who just got back from Canada.I was suppose to meet him at his mums'. Got there and knocked but his mum answered and said he son wasn't home. Hmmm, d way she answered my sef was uncalled for cos I don't have anything with son. I was almost at the bustop when he called to know why I was taking too long to come. I jejely asked him if he was sure he was home, and d guy was like y are u asking me such a question? I just told him not to bother abeg. Its not by force. #Okbye#

Classic Chic! said...

My side, no experiences, will sit n read n listen to others.

Uniq Gem said...

Money conquers all you meant to say right? *winks*

Anonymous said...

You said it all. It just depends on the kind of man.

Anonymous said...

Dodged a bullet clean. Thank God the bitch sister saved you. Classic example when an enemy helped you than harmed you.

Anonymous said...

Most times especially when there is no good reason they disapprove, just move on. If the guy is independent and is respected by his family, that can be managed pretty well but in a case where the guy na mumuni, you will regret your life last last. Just Waka fast. There is no happiness in that picture especially on this economy. You will fast become the reason everything in Nigeria is going wrong. Listen to advice o.

Anonymous said...

any family member be it father, mother, sisters or brothers that already have someone for their sibling to marry, why not make the sibling know in due time instead of raising someones hope. me o, i cant fit marry boy wey him mama most especially no want me. the wahala no be here.

DonMayor �� said...

Aunty gwegwe in the making.

Anonymous said...

@Mumuni lol

Anonymous said...

Mehn....due to tribe issue my parents are d only one against us just bcos of what deir friends will say.well i took my stand,prayed over it and am certain he is my husband. Funny enough all my other family members love him but am yet to understand my parents. His own parents love me like kilode...been trying to make my parent understand and lately my mum has been calling me to have a conversation buh i need Gods direction so am yet to answer her call. I gave birth to d most wonderful daughter anyone could pray for. My husband and i understand ourselves and i pray and forsee tins a lot. I believe in the saying "WHAT WILL BE WILL BE". If its true love u are gonna conquer. I love my hubby,my family and my inlaws but am yet to understand my parents. Wawwu.

HummingBird said...

Wow all i see is that couch mehn

Anonymous said...

Na only cheque? E for bring draft too nah, e dey give them N10 million because your pussy is coated with gold or your pubes na gold strand. Anyways, why won't they dash you away for that amount...ndi aguu

oguike akudo said...

I won't involve myself with such man. Family fight can be dangerous. Some can go diabolic.

Anonymous said...

You're uniquely delusional...see condition, stand up to his parents for you? When the parents don't like you? That's when you'll know that you can be accused of raising dust while swimming. Let any man or woman sort out his/her family first before dragging anyone into it. How will you spend the holidays in the village with everyone back? Cling onto him/her for dear life or stay in your lil corner like a 2 year old on timeout? It's just NOT feasible, you can't come in warring with folks who are supposed to be your new family

Anonymous said...

I've been in such situation. A grown man of 33 years old broke off the engagement because his family didn't accept me.
This is a family none are married, the one that tried getting married divorced less than a year.
God blessed me with double, 8 months later, I met my husband in Dubai, got married, had twins, a good career and we are counting 6years in marriage exactly yesterday.
Girls if a man cannot stand up for you in front of his parents, RUN..... He ain't worth it.

Omotola Brianna said...

Nkan n be. This is serious.

Anapuao said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
BIPOLAR ME said...

Anon 13:58.

Why?

Why does half of the lady's family not want him?

Weigh the reason on an unbiased scale of wisdom and pray hard.

BLOGLORD said...

White, sup hun?
Wink

Becky Divine said...

Jasmine for as long as it will take them to accept that i ain't going nowhere lol

snow white said...

This is a big NO for me.please don't even think of venturing into a marriage that the inlaws do not like you.especially from the mans side..check all the devorce stories,you will find out that the inlaws contributed in one way or the other.my sis was a victim but thank God she took to her heels on time..there is nothing you will do that will please them..they will frustrate you to the fullest especially if their son is the bread winner.but if you are the financial woman... They might pretend to love you but will be going underground just to get you out of the way..but if you don't have money and you insist ...get ready to pray and also make up your mind to die early.

BIPOLAR ME said...

You need your family.

And yes, a "normal" family should always have each other's back regardless..
But your head will always remind you "I was warned about this", nobody needs to shout it out.


Don't defy your family for someone who hasn't gone through defying his own family for you.

If your in-laws know your side didnt want it when issues arise later they MIGHT throw insults at your family.

BIPOLAR ME said...

All girls as siblings?

Pray hard dear. Pray!

Anonymous said...

Thank you very much. I was going through the same thing with my family. It was the most emotionally draining situation but I know deep down that boo is the only boo for me so I let my defenses and guard down and asked them why? They said the problem is me. I swallowed my pride and apologised from the oldest to the youngest and started working on myself and gradually everyone is coming on board.
Don't give up on your love unless you have doubts.

BIPOLAR ME said...

You see people?

Prayer works..

Marriage is supposed to be a lifetime journey, no need tying yourself down in an unfriendly environment

BIPOLAR ME said...

You spoke both in future tense and present tense.

Care to clarify?

I loved that you prayed.

Anonymous said...

Hmmmmmm.....

Is the said boyfriend your namesake?

I think I know you.

Anonymous said...

Wow!! Please go for deliverance.that not a normal mother.

QUEEN AMY Loves ACCESS BANK said...

Lol

my opinion said...

Hmmmmm

I know a friend going through this

In her case, her father is the Igwe in her villa! He has been a titled man for lonnggg! He has his family planned out and has alliances of who and who should marry his kids when they grow up!

The girl is grown, inlove now but her parents are totally against her! She has been with this guy for 8yrs now and they've been pleading the family said no!

She has been through a lot especially in the area of jazz (best imagined)! All the men of God she has been to with her fiance keeps telling them that destiny yoked them together and that life will be rough for them individually without each other. Yet her family won't let her! She doesn't want to marry him secretly because if she gives birth without bride price, her dad will come and take away her kids (which is what he is secretly waiting for)

Sometimes the guy will give up and start behaving strangely to her when the jazz gets too much. When his head is down he will be back again!

I have asked her if it's that she can't be with another man! She said this man is her complete circle. With him, life doesn't have leakage @ all.

Funny enough this family of hers doesn't even care about her from day one. All her life she lived to please them! She looks different from them and always got treated like an outcast (despite the riches)! So y not just let her go away in peace? Spiritual tie things...

May God help us and keep us safe in this life! Coming from families with crazy rules and deep rooted spiritual bonds is not what any sane person will wish for!

God will surely help her is all I keep telling her

Anonymous said...

You are a liar. You don't live him you just want to use him to travel to Canada. You know that you are a bitch.

Anonymous said...

Hi Anita what do you mean by selfish interest from his family?

Anonymous said...

very sad

Anonymous said...

Smfh..What right has the father to come take her kids? I don't just get it..We are so backwards...Forget Jazz. ..that thIng doesnt work...The guy obviously gets frustrated atimes

Anonymous said...

What do you mean by selfish interest?

jennifer iyorshe said...

Hmmm my dear stella dats exactly what i'm goin thru now*shedstears and I luv him soooo much.crying*

Anonymous said...

What do u need me to clarify?

BLOGLORD said...

Awww...
You see?
Am so happy for you.
Once you are sure you love someone and that person loves you back, not even ego/pride can stand on the way.
All the best dear.

Anonymous said...

This is so sad.....pls accept my condolences. Exactly where did this happen ?

Eloho said...

Wow! What a world we live in. God help ya o

White Diamond said...

I dey mami. God is great.


Olaedo, I see you hun.

#WhiteDiamondOut

Becky Divine said...

Anon 15:05 and you are just uniquely daft! I chop your yam you this useless jobless woman? Why are you trolling my comments upandan? Why can't you just quietly drop yours and move on? Hian
Indeed OBSESSION is for REAL... I'm feeling like KIM KARDASHIAN already hohohohoho

Anonymous said...

Move on, it's just not worth it. I was in those shoes before, I'm much happier now. Can't be spending your whole life trying to get someone to like you.

Anonymous said...

As in, so naive.

Anonymous said...

@anon 15.56, you are a bastard. How will you just come and reply someone you dont even know. Foolish woman. Maybe you are one of the frustrated sisters she is talking about self. Common love you cannot spell. Ewu Gambia.

Anonymous said...

Going through similar situation, tribalism/religion ish.

Anonymous said...

Keep hanging in there. If the guy/lady is God's plan for you, he will make all things work out for you both. My marriage is 10years without my parent's consent,blessed with beautiful kids. It was tough at the beginning, with jazz and blackmail tactics. I was disowned, mocked, lied about and treated as a outcast. But whatever God has destined, No scheme of man can change it. You must be ready to loose friends and some of your families would turn their backs on you..but if God has destined you together, he will see you through. Let me stop here for now.

Anonymous said...

Not All though! I am Living witness. I was disowned though, I stood my ground. We've been married 12years, my parents now regret calling my husband "Omo ti ko ni Iran" because,whatever God as Sanctioned, no scheme of man can change it. Do Marriage where both parents gave their consent not crash? I think the foundation of EVERY MARRIAGE should be built on God, Prayers and have a mind to stick it out. Was the journey tough yes, but I prayed like Mad. I am HAPPILY MARRIED(NO JOKES) TO THE GLORY OF GOD!

Anonymous said...

Have brought home two guys that wanted to marry to meet my parents. The first one, they rejected outrightly and as I no get strength for drama, I let him go. We were good friends then but the love ties were not strong enough to tie me to him.
The second one, they liked initially, but with time they found out loopholes in him that I couldn't see then 'cos I was blinded by love. I made my folks think I've broken up with him and continued the relationship with hope that I'd convince them someday that he's a nice guy.
People of SDK, I let my guards down and behold, the dude started manifestation. Oh, he can lie for Africa and beyond and when you catch him in a lie, he twists it and make you think you're the one lying. Is it broken promises? That's his middle name. He's never said one thing and did it. Should I talk about womanizing? That one na his code of conduct. 95% of his contacts on phone and social media are women. Whenever I'm with him, his phone's on silent mode and when calls or messages come in, he'll have to unlock to answer or reply. All these had been happening until the day I asked him to lend me his phone to transfer some music and videos to mine.While I was doing that, a message popped in and the sender, a girl texted 'Baby, I'm still waiting for you, aren't you coming again?". Meanwhile, bros had told me he's going home (he came to my base).
On seeing the message, I now went inbox and saw that I've been sharing the dude with the whole eastern region 😨😮😯😲! Is it his WhatsApp and Facebook Messenger? I almost got blind by what I saw. I flared up and confronted him and he started begging that the girls and the chats meant nothing, that they were just to pass time with the girls. That he's never met any of them. Being the mumu that I is, I accepted after few weeks of begging and promises. Life continued.
I finally gave myself brain after he promised to finally come see my people with his people during Christmas (he's been postponing it almost every month) and failed to show up on that day. Thank God I didn't tell anyone he was coming'cos I wanted it to be a surprise. He rescheduled to come in two or three days. Omo, na there I off my phone and vowed not to enter the new year with his drama and stopped picking his calls or replying his messages. It's been two months now and I've moved on 'cos I actually didn't miss him as I thought I would. It was even this post that reminded me of him.
I stylishly reminded my mum about him in January, and she said "That guy looks nice but he lies a lot. Thank God you ended things with him then". I've come to realize that the saying "What an elder sees while sitting down, even if a child climbs a very tall tree he'll never see it".
My whole point is that, it is very good listen to your parents and have their consent when choosing a life partner.
Here ends my epistle. 🙋

Anonymous said...

Amen my dear amen. My mother and yours seems to be sisters. The way you automatically become her enemy when you start making money is confusing. All the marriages she endorsed have big coma., the Ines she kicked against is flourishing. Since I noticed this I stopped taking her advice, anything she advices you against always works out well. ALWAYS

Anonymous said...

Going through such right now,,,my own case is that they were all smile with me bcos they have been fighting other girls before I came.Until I came into the family and married for several years before I knew what was happening..Hubby and I were always quarreling,nothing I do seems to go well with him ,till I knew it was spiritual influence..I prayed and battled till they started being afraid of me bcos I canceled everything they did..Mrs while my two sister in law never marry oo..I pray they do so they can understand how marriage work.

Anonymous said...

And you anon 18:06 you're an idiot a moron of the highest order. Fool. No wonder you can never get married.

Anonymous said...

Face your studies and stop doing runs so that you do not contact hiv.

Anonymous said...

That is why its good to introduce each other to their respective families in the beginning so that if they say no, you ill begin to cut ties rather than date for 5yrs and then introduce them to your family. It ill be harder to leave them. As for me its a big no, anybody my dad and mom say I should not marry, I will not o. My dad usually sees peoples true nature, I cant let love blind me. If his family doesnt like me, goodbye o

Anonymous said...

True talk

Anonymous said...

When a family STRONGLY object to a marriage, ESPECIALLY from the MAN'S SIDE, PLEASE back let it go!

The truth is, every family wants the best for their children, and will always see a flaw in whoever their child brings home, but with persuasion from their child, they will accept him/her because nobody is perfect. But if the child uses gra-gra, they will prove stubborn to them.

We need our parents blessings and support in our marriage, when difficulties arises, they will be there for us in one way or the other.

Truth be told, some families have generational curse following them that children should listen to their parents.

grace jay said...

Good geh

Anonymous said...

I am going tru that now,my hubby at first acted like he was with me now he has joined dem marriage don crash!

Anonymous said...

My dear, go for deliverance, it is a serious case, I know a woman who did same to her only son, he keeps bringing different women for marriage mama would pretend she is in support a d fly all the way from America to Nigeria to do jazz, before you know it, the marriage or relationship don scatter, the son is 50yrs now, no wife, mama who go and stay with him in America and he would be caring for her like a wife. Your own no go reach like this, you guys come together and break the yoke! Jesus still answers prayers.

LOLO IDEATO said...

Thanks Lucille

akudo ukazu said...

I have read tru all the comments but you guys have failed to understand that most family are just selfish and have a myopic way of reasoning. In my case they said i'm from my guy is from Amambra and i'm from Abia state. This are their reason for saying No to our relationship not even his mum but his sisters 1. They said Umuahia girls are to wise and dominating 2. They said i'll block them from getting anything from their brother. 3 that I don't fall on my kneels to greet them 4. That me i'm stingy that I don't use my hard earn salary to give to them Becos I want to marry their brother. 5 they said since I met their brother that he has received sense. I met my guy after two years he had issue and came back to Nigeria @ that time he wasn't doing anything he was just eating all the money he made abroad with his family without any investment here in Nigeria. When I met him he told me everything as @ then his money don dey finish lol without even his so called family advising him to buy a plot of land to build even if it's self contain they were just eating the money and then he was still staying with his younger brother in his younger brothers house. When I came into his life I asked him what is his line of biz when he was abroad he told me and I advised him to start up here in Nigeria which he listened to. He rented a flat for his biz and then things kicked off after some months he moved out from his younger brothers house to his own apartment and all his family turned against me that I want to scatter their family. I don't understand whether they wanted him to progress or remain under his brothers roof cos they sid they wanted him to go back lol. Well biz is going so well now that he said he can't really stay abroad for more than 2months and when ever he travels he leaves the biz under my care I even follow him to market his biz cos I have lots of clients that I help with their media publicity, so I have introduced him to a lot of them and he is doing biz with them. What is my offense here he is training his sisters son in the university and i've never ever objected to anything he does for his family. Anytime his mum comes around I make sure I buy things for her. My dear so meaning after putting all this effort in the relationship I should back out Becos his people doesn't like me. Enukwa my dear Becos of the people I have don 3days dry fasting, 21days fasting lol still they'll not give up. My guy has told them if no one wants to come with him he'll go hire people to follow him and he is giving them till March this year. For me i'm so married to him nobody can stop it. I forgot to even mention here that he even opened a biz here before he left the country but his brother changed the name and turned it to his personal biz and family did nothing. Some family members are just crazy and myopic in reasoning.

Lilly simple said...

Wowooooooooooooo
I just learnt something now

Anonymous said...

@anon 20.51, see how frustration is showing in your comments. For your info i am married with two kids. Its the runs you did that landed you in such a frustrated marriage. What a pity. Ask God for forgiveness so your marriage can progress. You are HIV positive already. Better check your status. Frustrated she goat. Beast of no nation like you. Aturu!😂😝

Lilly simple said...

We don hear
Omo lo mo
Kpele

akudo ukazu said...

You guys shouldn't mind my typo errors ooo. Was just rushing to type so I can get to work on time lol. For office I no dey get time

Anonymous said...

When God use your enemy to bless you.

Anonymous said...

See painment ooo, so na the Canada be your problem, see them evil sister inlaw.

Anonymous said...

Don't worry if it doesn't work out someone else will come for you. Move on with your life. Going abroad is not the end of the world. You will find another man.

Anonymous said...

Poster doesn't have a good attitude. By saying worse of all, all girls means that you already have a biased mind before even entering the family. I will advise you to quit this relationship as going ahead with it will be your own palava.

Anonymous said...

Na wa oooo!!!!


Mrs korks.

Anonymous said...

Ladies, pick your shoes and handbag and ruuuuuuuuuun.
Never ever stay in a relationship where your partners family especially MUM doesn't like you cos it will be WAR when you finally get married.
I am married and these people can be so manipulative, its a BIG headache and I don't wish it on anyone.
In-laws wahala, please avoid. Some of these in-laws are so wicked that they don't want you to be happy or SMELL happiness.
Just pick race please. The stress and heartache is not worth it.

Anonymous said...

My dear Busola, have been married now for 8 years and I know what you're going through.
I don't know if its common with us Yoruba's but I have been through a lot with my in-laws and its my Mother in law who's been behind it.
Everyone had peace and were all close but because I was new, mama who lives in Nigeria and only comes on holiday to see her kids caused so much issues for me.
Thank God say I don wise now or let me put it that the HolySpirit stood by me and I am victorious.
Just move close to GOD, stand your grounds when it comes to your home cos this in-laws can drain and kill one.
Inlaw issue is the worst on earth, they don't have to like you my dear; you don't need it. Don't pretend, take good care of yourself, your children, then hubby and make sure you add value to your life.
These people are depressed and all they want is to make their son or brothers wife unhappy. NEVER ever give that a chance.
Chop well, feel good and remember; add value to yourself. You're not married to please them.
Focus on your home and make God your best friend.

Anonymous said...

So they sold you.
What Nonsense, stupid people.
See what Poverty does.

Anonymous said...

Bless you Anonymous 15:05

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