Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative...

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Thursday, 30 November 2017

Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative...

*Sigh*






STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
RUSHING A CHILD THROUGH SCHOOL



Good day Stella.
Please post where fit. I would need BVs opinion on this matter.
I'm married with two kids. My first is a 3year old girl.


My husband have been going on about rushing our daughter through school, that she is growing fast, that she looks like a 7 year old(exaggerating to drive home his point).

He says at most by 14, she should be in higher institution.
Right now she is in Nursery 2.
My husband's reasons include that the work force is changing, age for entry level is continually being reviewed downward.
Also that if she gets into school at a younger age, naturally everyone will be on the look out for her to protect her etc....


The nature of my husband's job makes him interact with lots of people, so every now and then, there is a young doctor who is just 18, 20...., a colleague, friend or customers daughter who is 13,14 and just gained admission into one private university.


I on my part, I work with a school and I'm of the opinion that a child should not be rushed, be allowed to grow at her own pace, discover him/herself.


He also wants her to be a doctor, or definitely our children must read professional courses.


The reason he is going on about us because he wants me to do more in order to get them ready, as I'm the one that gets to spend more time with them, and assist with their school work.
I would love them to also finish on time, but the pressure part is what I'm not OK with.
Would she take common entrance in basic 3, 4, and WAEC in ss2?


So BVs does anyone relate? Please share your thoughts.



*Let the child find her own pace please...I actually thought it was a normal thing for parents to decide what future they want their child to have until i travelled out of Nigeria...it is not OK to dictate how your child's future should be,our role as a parent is to support and guide them into future role models


40 comments:

ANGELRAY4SDK said...

This is not a chronicle, go and solve your family problem, and what is wrong in a child writing Waec in SS2, that's how u people will be looking for trouble upandan.

Miss Ess said...

Please let the child grow and find a course in her life. That is how she would be a by force doctor and go and do a deadly surgery whereas she wanted to be a lawyer.

Blackberry said...

If the child is brilliant enough to scale through, fine, else d child might be asked to repeat classes if she isn't catching up , you don't wanna have a half baked graduate at 18, do you?

Zinny Chocolate said...

Thread softly. Fix it oh Lord.

Doppelgänger said...

Life is not a race, you need to let him know this. There's nothing wrong in wanting the best for your child but they are human however how small or how highly dependent he might think they are right now and they have a right to choose their own path. As parents, your role is to guide not force them to be what you probably aspired to be. Schools even have minimum entry limits, it's not always how fast but how well. A person can graduate at age 19 from the university and still be below par in terms of achievements with his or her mates that probably finished later. The most important thing should be an healthy and well rounded child. Tech is the in thing now, and who knows in years to come something else might or would take over. Let the kids be kids biko before you'd have a child deliberately acting out because they are trying to please mummy and daddy.

Anonymous said...

Rush her n watch her turn to small Runs girl...go on !

Anonymous said...

Madam with the hubby on a fast lane my advice is..no harm in trying to develop your child early but i prefer the fast lane with the abroad system if you have the means..such things favours the "abroad" system not in this nigeria.nigeria where your hardwork brings nothing.infact,if you finish early in nigeria and your course aint a professional one or your course is that of zoology or fisheries..osetigo.the system favours the old

Dada Toyosi said...

There's no how d age won't tell on her later,age 3 in Nursery two,which standard schl does dt?madam pls convince ur husband to slow down abeg,come see how my 15years old cousin do misplaced his stuff at a private uni,think twice pls

Sally jayd said...

I don’t get why Nigerian parents love rushing their children. Here, nursery school is a choice not a must. Children here start school (reception) after their 4th birthday. University age is as from eighteen, nineteen years.
Your husband is wrong because children should be allowed to grow up and children their career. I disagree with him saying that everyone will lookout for her because of her age, people might take advantage of her young age.

Minnie Rexpect said...

There's a trend amongst some parents lately. Its called competitiveness. Every one wants to use their children to show off esp if they are in the professional course.

It's a good thing and I'm not against that but not at the detriment of the child. If your child has the flare for whatever course he or she wants to go for, then encouraged. But don't make a child feel little cos he or she is not in the professional course. Every child have their strength.

Your husband is gradually towing that path.... The pressure he is mounting on you will be transferred to the child very soon if not watched.

Anonymous said...

I will go anonymous on this.
I was and still am intelligent and smart, by 15yrs n 1 month, was out of Sec sch with good waec etc but left Sec sch with super low esteem and bad scoliosis due to boarding house abandonment. I am doing so well now but I wish I wasn't rushed or I didn't have to go to d boarding house. Would have made this comment on d boarding house post yesterday.
Poster pls, move one step at a time with your children. Education is not everything

Anonymous said...

It all depends. I would have preferred my parents were so keen and pushed me to graduate on time. I finished Nysc at at 25. However, I wished I finished that at 20 or 22 even.

I know some people who got carried away during our days in Uni, they were younger.

It is nice to push them but atleast let her be close to 16 before entering the Uni. Before one idiot in Uni scatter her for u in the name of boyfriend.

VICTORIOUS EHIS said...

Madam please explain to ur husband that in as much as the world is changing and moving very fast, one still need to allow the child discover him/herself first. Even if the child is exceptionally gifted, he/she might hv some drawbacks wen they eventually get into higher institutions.

Some might not be able to cope with peer pressure and end up making mistakes.

However, if he insists, do ur best and monitor them closely

Greatlady. said...

Your husband should be keen on helping that child find her purpose in life and not on professional courses. The world is evolving and in less than 20 years, there would be very little jobs especially for professional courses which are monotonous.
Since his job makes it possible for him in interact with a lot of people, I guess he should have much more experience.
You people should be earnest in helping your children find their place in life rather than school, and not as if our educational system is structured in a way to help people be employers or creators, rather it makes the mind lazy.

I have said my own. He should allow them

Promising star said...

Poster I hope you read the news that was posted here some months ago. It's about a 16 year old girl that committed suicide in OAU due to pressure from parents. She was an 100l student of biochemistry. The cause of her death is because she failed some courses, so because she knows her parents will be disappointed in her, she took her life.

My point here is that rushing a child isn't advisable. Especially in the university. A child has to be mentally ready before he or she is taken to the university.
#mytwonaira

Babyjane69 said...

Your husband is playing God. Is he God i beg you guys should allow Gods take control of your children''s life. The most important thing is good health and a balanced child not when he or she graduates or what they study in school.These days it is not about studying medecine or a professional course.Look at the likes of Linda Ikeji, Stella Dimoko korus and the owner of face book and Instagram making money yafu yafu upandan are they doctors or lawyers. People are making millions and are happy selling selfie sticks on the internet. I beg make una go siddon jare. Una no get work.

Anonymous said...

Thank you, I was wondering how a 3 year old will be in nursery two,can she write numbers 1-400 and more? Can she read the queen primer part 2?cos the part one is for nursery 1.
I don't think he should rush the girl, slow and steady wins the race.

The Lifted said...

Your husband's level of insecurity & low self esteem is something else. Is he so naive to believe all those lies people tell about their age? He better allow that child to grow @ her own pace,life is not competition, no one knows tomorrow,besides God has a plan for every one of us. its only in naija here people act strangely about this age isssh. na wa o

Anonymous said...

So sorry.... Pls how is the scoliosis now? How have you been able to manage it? Or did you go for surgery? I have a child with scoliosis but the doctors said we have to manage it until she reaches spinal maturity before it can be done.
So for now she wears a brace.... But I hope and pray for a supernatural healing, I take her for physiotherapy weekly.

Anonymous said...

I blame this country not ur hubby. Imagine most banks don't employ pple that are upto 25 yrs now. It's appalling. ..But it hubby and not folo the trend though so he doesn't put pressure on the kids

Anonymous said...

While I understand every child have thier pace, I am however of the opinion that children lear fasts this days. Let me use myslf as an example, I am nt a brillant child just average, i finished primary school age 9 and finished sec schl abot 16. Didnt gain admission till abt 18 and spent abt 4 yrs in school. I quite understand where ur hubby is coming from, my bf finshed school at about 26 and it was so difficult for him to get a job considering minimum age this days is abt 24-25. I even saw one recently of 22 yrs. fine every child has thier pace but as far as ur child aint a dullard he/she will be able to cope. However do not forget to play ur path, I attended a boarding school so my eyes started tearing at a very tender age, infact i started resuming and returning back home when on vacation on my own at age 12 (school in Ikd).
I remember i and my bf gisting one day and he said he regrets having a slow education. In all of this let ur child find her pace, however do not forget to world is growing/going at a fast pace.

Anonymous said...

Nigerian parents listen up, your children are coming out of school unable to think for themselves, function in the real world and make good life decisions. They are not competitive against their mates worldwide, they just have degrees early. Why do you think we have no innovation in Nigeria? Why do you think we are still behind when in other countries the youth are leading the way? All we know is rush, get a degree and that is it. These children need to develop mentally. 14 in University with lecherous male professors and other ill trained children, FOURTEEN??? Your husband is thinking like the typical Nigerian, short sightedly. Her generation is different and the way things are going, our kids will end up good for cramming and things that have to do with rote memorization.
Do not let these schools and people scam you into ruining your child's development. We put too much pressure on babies to know things they do not understand. She looks older and so what? Since when did looks equal preparedness for learning?

The countries that allow children to advance as they should are the ones leading the pack. Nigerian children graduate early and are not innovative. ALLOW YOUR CHILD TO GROW. SPEAK TO YOUR HUSBAND ABOUT THIS, until he gets some sense.

Women, when you are courting...these are the things you check for in a man outside of his pocket. But no, you people will be looking for who can buy you hair and bag.

Anonymous said...

My dear even if she graduates from medical school at 18, people will not be confident consulting an 18yr old medical doctor no matter how knowledgeable she is. Na Naija we dey o. As a teacher, I will advise that she takes it slow and steady. The brain develops with age too. I passed 6 is not the same as I passed sense.

Anonymous said...

I have a friend that gained Admmision into university at the age of 16,graduated at the age of 20. We graduated 10years ago but up till now she has not secured a job. It's not of him that willeth but by God that shows mercy..

My Two Kobo said...

As you want her to rush through school, be prepared to rush her through having babies as well... Pls let kids be kids...

Iuleha virologist said...

Please, if this girl has the brains for it, let her be. Children need the push and be let go to explore for themselves. Try to balance the two. She'll be fine.

Anonymous said...

And yet you can't express yourself without grammatical errors.


Tragic!!!

Better go and read up on world best innovators and their educational background. Many aren't even university graduates but they are on Forbes list. Nigerians always in a race to the death with nothing to show for you. Example, this anon 16:58.

Do you know how old Steve Jobs was when he created Apple? He was 21 and started in his family garage. Note that his educational background isn't credited to his feat.


Mark Zuckerberg, founded Facebook after dropping out of Harvard to concentrate on building the site.

Nigerians, still backward because we push education rather than innovation and thinking outside the box.

Anonymous said...

Angelray you are a big idiot for making such stupid comment.

sholetoga said...

Poster.....just play along with your hubby. We have parents like that that don't care about the capacity of the child but will want to rush them. E easy......
Let your kids enjoy their childhood. If they're brilliant enough, they would get double promotion and that's without any pressure on the kid.

Shy Artsy gal... said...

Please where did runs enter the matter now...?

Tuesday's Child said...

Queen primer in nursery school ke?

ikeh benita said...

The rate at which some parents are rushing their kids is alarming.what if she graduate at the age of 18 or 20 but no reasonable job.with my little experience in life,it is only God that knows our end.just do your part as parents but please don't rush her.let things flow natural.

Push up said...

I don't really blame your hubby Cus Nigeria of today would ask for a 22 year old graduate with 5 years working experience. You can rush a child when you train that child well or when the child attends a school that is close to you

Anonymous said...

Yes, the part one in nursery 1. That is why i am wondering how a 3year old can be in nursery 2.
I have a child who is two and a half years and I still see her as a baby.

Anonymous said...

But what age did the girl start school? Cos here the child have to start from reception then proceed to pre nursery, before nursery one and two.
That is like four years in nursery class.
What is the average age for nursery one? And what should the child know in number work at the end of the session and also phonics.

Anonymous said...

I got into boarding school at age 9, I was regularly bullied cos I was homesick. I was bedwetting occasionally,poor social life due to self-esteem issues and was doing poorly in school. i left after 3 years.my parents regret it so much cos I'm so introverted now and keep very few friends. I won't take chances with my kids, parents allow your child develop all round to learn. Lots of kids now just cram to pass,want to b 1st position, no learning going on

Chikito The Professional Fire for Fire a.k.a Ugegbe Chike Teflon said...

Sorry let me take space.

Poster, started school at 2 years old. That was cos I said my first words at 7 months and by 2 well I was becoming a noisy parrot at home. They decided to let me go and 'play' in school. Like joke I started reading alphabets and well I became a tiny pupil. I had double promotion in primary school, I took common entrance in pry 5 to test myself and I passed. So I took secondary school entry exams and the school immediately decided to admit me - the youngest new entrant in their record at the time. I had just turned 8.
Well I had a break after high school (looking back now i know that was God) and eventually got into uni at 16ish. Does all my rushing mean I am better and faster than all my classmates? Nope. Plus, man proposes and God disposes. Oga can feel like he can control her timelines but the final say lies with God. Yes, the plan was for me to finish uni at 19 but when things for out of our control and planning it was sooo beyond us we didn't understand what was happening. That's my personal experience with being an early starter.

Chikito The Professional Fire for Fire a.k.a Ugegbe Chike Teflon said...

Pros:
1. I learnt faster than my agemates. You see me with my peers as a child and I would not be able to blend. I was always playing with older friends. A habit i still have till today. I learn a lot but i often take life too seriously cos of those I mingle with.
2. You focus early. Before you know that its not normal you've already done some key things in life.
3. You will be helped / assisted. I remember when physics and chemistry dealt with me. All my teachers gave me extra attention because of my age. My first year in uni, everyone just wanted to help that smallie.
4. You make your parents proud. Lol

Chikito The Professional Fire for Fire a.k.a Ugegbe Chike Teflon said...

Cons:
1. It will be very hard for the child to learn patience. They could see everything as fast they saw their education.

2. Such kids are usually over achievers. I've met a few and when we share experiences, its like we understand. So because you're used to being that 'fast' child, any little slow down can make you feel like a failure. When in actual fact you're not doing badly AT ALL.

3. You may take a decision with your life that you regret later, in terms of career. Because youre too young to make decisions for yourself, your folks would make many decisions for you. You would only realise halfway in that it probably wasnt meant to be. By that time your actual mates are only just deciding. E.g: I didn't know how much I hated sciences until my mock WAEC. But it was too late. And my age mates were just getting into SS1 then. I know someone who is a lawyer and isn't practicing cos she went back to school to do Mass communication. Similar story. Parents pushed, she followed cos she was too young to decide. For some this leads to minor depression.

4. Some older peers might be wrong influence on them and they can learn bad habits fast. This didn't happen to me but I saw a few.

5. At some points, parents begin to over-expect from such kids. They often have to be reminded of these childrens' age. Some kids may also feel unnecessarily pressured and rebel against them.

So weigh the pros and cons 😁

Anonymous said...

your sabi sabi husband need to travel out again and see how those that education originated from school their children. After living his own life he wants to live his children's life as well. if his parents brought him up like that he won't even be able to reason the way he is doing now. He should allow those kids to learn at their own pace and the right time too. I left secondary school at 14 years but that did not stop my mates overtaking me today.

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