OVERREACTING OR NOT???
Good afternoon, everyone.
Please, I would like to know if I am overreacting.
Good afternoon, everyone.
Please, I would like to know if I am overreacting.
We are four siblings ; one girl and three boys.
At the moment, the third-born who is a boy, is doing better financially than the rest of us. His wife recently gave birth. The first grandchild of the family. Both of us are not married yet and also still staying with our dad.
Our mother is late but his wife's parents are still alive, and she also has younger siblings.
Our mother is late but his wife's parents are still alive, and she also has younger siblings.
Her mother runs a restaurant business. Since her daughter gave birth, she has not stayed with her. She usually comes in the evening and leaves afterward.
Another person comes in the morning to bathe both the baby and the mother. Their house is big enough for at least five people to stay comfortably, so we were all surprised that the mother-in-law was not staying with them.
As a family, we decided not to ask any questions.
We all live in the same area, including the wife's family. The distance between our house and theirs is very short.
Now, my elder brother, who works with my younger brother, decided to move in and stay with them. I was surprised at first, but I kept quiet, although I was not happy about it.
We all live in the same area, including the wife's family. The distance between our house and theirs is very short.
Now, my elder brother, who works with my younger brother, decided to move in and stay with them. I was surprised at first, but I kept quiet, although I was not happy about it.
He is the firstborn and the eldest son of the family. The only issue is that he is not financially stable at the moment. Still, I wondered why he would lower himself to that extent.
When I asked him what he was doing there, he replied that he wanted to help take care of the baby, especially at night when the baby cries.
I told him that, in my opinion, he was giving up his position and respect as the firstborn of the family.
The wife's family members are very close by, so why are they not the ones staying to help?
My father said there is nothing wrong with him staying there.
I keep thinking that he helped raise his younger brother when he was little, and now he is also carrying and caring for his younger brother's child every day.
When I expressed my feelings, my family members started calling me names, insulting me, and even tried to beat me. Now they are all giving me the silent treatment.
I forget to add I'm the one cooking for them, the wifes family don't bring or cook any food for her daughter that just give birth
I feel very bad about the situation.
Please, I would like to know if I am overreacting. Abi na too much proud that is killing me.
Thank you.
You may be right with your worries but for now just join everyone else and enjoy the moment and pray that nothing goes wrong with the friendship between your brothers...
I dont undrstan thing though, why is a man going to do Omugwo? Is your sister in laws family quarelling with her? why is none of them helping her?
Like i said you may not be over-reacting but please take it easy wth voicing out your thoughts cos it doesnt make you look good at all....
Stellz don join me talk am..Biko face front..but I'm surprised @ ur big bro's decision..even if I no get money reach my aburo..my dignity nko? I hate see finish like Nigerian Government..✌️
ReplyDeleteSee the way u are referring to ur sister in law like she is not part of ur family. Calling her ‘the wife’s family’, she is ur brother’s wife, and she just had a son for ur brother. Whether u like it or not, God has alrdy joined u guys for life. U know what’s funny? Her child will carry ur surname, meanwhile even ur child will not have that name.
ReplyDeleteAllow people to run their family the way that works for them. Take ur eyes off ppl’s family business. If ee reach ur turn, call whoever u want to come stay with you.
Anon no be fight na 😁
DeleteHer opinions are valid too.
Anon 15:18. You are looking for problems where there's none. She should have called the brother's wife by name when we don't know them?
DeleteAm I seeing double.
ReplyDeleteAs a mother myself , do I want family help?. Yes. Do I always get it? No. Would I want my SIL meddling?. NO0000.
DeletePoster you’re over reacting and crossing boundaries unless your sister in law complained to you. If she didn’t drink water and mind YOUR Business. Na wa for una oooo. Cho Cho Cho. So if she was abroad nko,?. Is your brother unable to get her PAID help? Not all families are into bending over back wards to help themselves and you do not know her families dynamics.
You have probably been very condescending and insulting otherwise why will all your siblings try to beat you and ignore you?. Learn to mind your business.
The wife's mother is running a restaurant, it will be difficult for her to do Omogwu with the money she would loose and possibly customers too. so she is safe guarding her business. And maybe her family don't want to be intrusive. There are families like that. Then no send you. They mind their business.
ReplyDeleteNow the issue with your elder Brother moving in, it's not exactly nice. Your father maybe tired of having him around as an adult, so it's a kind of relief for him to be somewhere else.
Do what you need to do and face front.
You are right about the father and instead of him being truthful, he's taking on the poster as if he's the bad one.
DeleteMen do omugwo too if they are domesticated. I know a father who went to do omugwo for his daughter because his wife is late.
ReplyDeletePeople should do what pleases them and shouldn’t have to conform to yeye norms.
As long as your eldest brother is being accorded the respect he deserves pls let him be afterall his brother’s wife is his sister too.
You are not a good person. You are going about looking for issues where there's none. Your older brother was not asked to do omugwo, he offered to help, your father doesn't see any problem with it so what exactly is your business?
ReplyDeleteThe wife's mum does not sleep over, the wife's family does not bring food for her, how e take concern you?
You are trying hard to poison your brother's mind but I'm glad it's not working.
There's nothing wrong in the Poster looking out for his brother. He is not against their sister inlaw, he himself is helping them by preparing food for them. He is just looking out for the betterment of everyone.
DeleteWho is going to respect such elders? There are some things that are not appropriate. Since he is not listening,leave him alone he will eventually learn through experience.
ReplyDeleteNot everyone lacks manners and would disrespect people just because they are humble. Not everyone is uncivilized please.
DeleteYou are not overreacting but once you said it and your elder brother saw nothing with it, you shouldn't have pushed. Also, you are very kind for taking it upon yourself to cook for them. That alone shows you are not against them but looking out for everybody equally and that is admirable.
ReplyDeleteJust mind your business. Your eldest brother is an adult and knows what he is doing. He might be in cordial relationship with your sister in law and she accepted his help.
ReplyDeleteBV Official prestige
My dia, your concerns are valid because of 'tomorrow' . But like Jewelu said, just enjoy the moments make dem no see you like a bad person
ReplyDeleteEverything u have said is true
ReplyDeleteBut with genuine love for each other, siblings must ignore these pitfalls
You will help some people tomorrow they will say you came to stay so that they will feed you
Some will say is it not only this you did for me. Some will judge senior helping junior and say he’s jobless. Even my own family member said it’s cause I didn’t have work that’s why my friend asked me to babysit. Friend with husband in hospital
We just have bad mouth sometimes
Enjoy the fun of the new baby. If they have money, why are you cooking for free. Why not cater for them. Or don’t you know business starts with family and friends
Mother has restaurant but na you dey cook for free hmmm
From what you've shared, I think you're looking at this from the angle of pride and family hierarchy, while the rest of your family is looking at it from the angle of support and love. Your elder brother staying with them to help with a newborn doesn't reduce his status as the firstborn. In many families, especially where the mother of the baby doesn't have strong support at home, relatives step in regardless of age or position. Taking care of a baby is an act of service, not a sign of weakness.
ReplyDeleteThe bigger issue seems to be that you're carrying a lot of the responsibility yourself—cooking for them while feeling that the wife's family isn't doing enough. That frustration is understandable. However, the solution may not be to criticize your brother for helping. If anything, he's helping to fill a gap that you believe exists. If your father, your brother, and the new parents are all comfortable with the arrangement, it may be best to let it go. Focus on what is best for the mother and baby rather than who should be helping or whose responsibility it is.
The rest of the family might be happy to be rid of the brother for now
DeleteYouve voiced your concerns let your brother be.
ReplyDeleteHe's a grown man,if it turns out well fine
If not it's also fine.
Poster!!! Have you offered to play the role your brother is currently playing?
ReplyDeleteI'm working, I go to their house after work to cook . after that I go to my house. Not everyday sha .
DeletePoster!!! You said you both live in the same area right? Why can't you be staying there for the time being so that your brother can return back home?
DeleteIf you’re tired of cooking, then stop and keep it moving.
DeleteDon’t meddle in your SILs family dynamics.
I don't think you are overreacting, but you can just let it go since no one is bothered
ReplyDelete