Chronicles Of Blog Visitor Narratives.

How does one cope with a relationship full of Skepticism?I call it a Jamb question relationship!

NARRATIVE NUMBER ONE

SINGLES MINGLE GONE WRONG?

Hi Stella, God bless you for this platform

I guess this should fit into chronicles.

So to my story....i'll try to really summarise it

I met a guy in the last S n M and Stella from day one that we started chatting it felt like we had known each other for years, we connected so well it was almost unbelieveable, we pray together, talk about anything everything infact we would talk about how we would send you wedding pictures and tell our story to fellow BVs, it felt so true and real ........

Not until few days ago where trouble started. Less i forget, he is in a different country from where i reside so we are yet to actually meet, it happened that he knows some1 that i also know, almost like a mutual friend that spilled the milk to me about him, she told me so many things contrary to what he had been telling me about himself, She said he is a student and just got to the country last year and has a gf who he is currently living with and so many other things. 


This "mutual friend" was so sure of everything she was saying, i confronted him and he denied every damn thing and was like if he has a girlfriend he stays with how come we are able to skype 70% of the time and all. Yes he told me about his ex and that they lived together but i know in every rumor there is an atom of truth in it so am really confused and feel betrayed.

I do not know who to believe anymore, what exactly would she stand to gain by tarnishing his image, mind you she is a married woman so no beef whatsoever and they are not even friends.

I do not know how to go about this, am even ready to forgive whatsoever if he comes out clean but he is denying everything and accusing me of believing some1 else over him and it has made him really sad and downcast. How do i find out if this woman is really telling the truth or not? 

I really really do like this guy and i just had to put a hold on the relationship and its killing me, Stella please make use of your red ink and i'd appreciate the advice of fellow BVs.

Thank you.

I am down with a cold but i will try to break down how i feel concerning this.
Women are wicked!...Until you have seen a situation for yourself never believe what a fellow woman tells you when it concerns another man.
Your married friend is probably telling you what your man has already told you.one is ralking in the present tense and one in the past tense.
I am sure your boyfriend will read this chronicle and the various good and bad advices you will get.
Check him out on his social media handle and see what he puts up.
Do you know his friends?
How far have you both really gone?
Is he ready for a marriage headed relationship or are you both just fooling around?
Ask yourself all the necessary questions and then look for the answers,if you are not satisfied with what he says,then take a walk and let him.
I hope the commenters will not see this as another opportunity to rubbish the singles mingles post.We have so far recorded over ten marriages and counting.The people choose to stay private because that is what you would also do if you meet someone here and it leads to marriage.

*sneeze* Atchooo!

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NARRATIVE NUMBER TWO

QUESTION AND ANSWER RELATIONSHIP

Dearest Stella, please permit me to share what seems to be disturbing my mind lately with fellow BV. 

I met this guy through his mum who happens to be a very senior colleague at work. I'm an intelligent lady, humble and warm hearted to my patients, coworkers, in fact nearly everyone, as a result of which I'm loved by many. So I guess that was why his mum introduced me to him. 

We started with just being friends and he later professed love to me, by this time I already loved his maturity and calmness at least to some issues so I fell for him. Early in the relationship was his birthday and he didn't give me any clue, so no birthday wishes. I wasn't sure if we have discussed our birthdays because the period was a trying time for me as I had issues with my professional exam and it affected me badly. 

2 weeks after was a friend's birthday, I uploaded her picture on my bbm and he was like I didn't celebrate him but celebrating just a friend on my bbm. Since he insisted he told me I apologised. He then took to bbm to write "It's sweet when someone remembers every little detail about you, not because you keep reminding them but because they pay attention" Bbm expressions became his style anytime I offend him even though it will be coded but it usually affect me emotionally. 

Another problem is mistrust! Where I am, with who, what I'm doing there and all that. He's always asking questions as if I once lived a bad life....... The number of Ex, abortions, if I've undergone any surgery etc I do answer him truthfully, I was like he's trying to get to know me but as soon as I answer one he will ask another till I got fed up. I started dating at 23years+, besides God really saved from those stories that hurt. It didn't work with my Ex not only because he smokes like chimney, drinks like fish but I caught him with dangerous drugs.

Another issue of mistrust was when he told me he will be coming to my house to check on me and I told him I wasn't around as I gat a friend undergoing surgery that evening but as usual he didn't believe it. When I got home later that day my neighbour told me he knocked more than 10 minutes with several missed calls on my phone. To him I willingly did that may be because I had told him 2 weeks before that I wasn't happy with the relationship as I used to; due to his distrustfulness

However, I also have my own side too. He works/live in another state and I refused to visit him all because I don't want to engage in premarital sex, though we hug and kiss, and I do visit him in his parent's house anytime he's around.

What really PAINS ME is the fact that my life is completely opposite of what he thinks and I didn't do anything or give him any reason to doubt me. With these I had to tell him to give me space, though it was very difficult as I really loved him. 

His younger brother called me some days back, we talked at length and he concluded I must have be the one that's guilty because his brother is the most easygoing and harmless being on earth. So I told one of my friend about him and he said I went too far:( 

Please Stella and fellow BV was I too hard on him? Or how can one cope in a relationship full of skepticism. 

Thanks to you all. One love

You need to learn how to manage an emotionally unstable man.he sounds like he loves.Have you really talked deep with this man to find out why he is so insecure concerning women?I think you were rather harsh by asking for space instead of trying to plug the holes.
Give it one more try BUT after things have been cleared out.Ask deep questions and find out what kind of baggage he is carrying around and if you cant cope,then you cant.
I dont know if i made sense but i wish you the best.......do not involve his siblings or mum in your brouhaha please.