Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narratives

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Wednesday, December 30, 2015

Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narratives

What would you do if you ended up with someone who isnt amibitious and you are....








 NARRATIVE NUMBER ONE
MARRYING AN UNAMBITIOUS MAN



 I am 23years old, when I was 21years old (over 2years ago), I met a guy (tall, dark and cute) and we became best friends. We'll call him N (for nuisance), lol. N is 3years older than me and he is a wonderful friend, there is virtually nothing he doesn't know about me and I know I can count on him at anytime. And we have the best of friendship and his siblings love me and mine, him.


 We have sleep overs at each others place and he's been my counsellor, cheerleader etc etc. Some people actually do not believe we are just friends. 
Few months back, I forgot to pretend that I am a mermaid and we had sex (I must confess, repeatedly for a while and it was gooood) but now it's sort of jeopardised our friendship and I just can't relate with him the way I used to. And he is talking about a relationship now. 


The problem is for a 23year old girl, I am quite driven and I just don't think he can match up with my drive. I know if we make it official and date, it will most definitely lead to marriage ( that is what everybody will expect). I have huge dreams, I know what I want in life and I have a road map of how to get there but he doesn't have all that just yet and he is not so financially responsible either, he doesn't know how to budget/save and he borrows a tad too much from too many people in my opinion. 


I don't know if I will be happy with someone who isn't even more driven than I am. I've always wanted a man with vision, a road map and actions. On the other hand, I know we have a wonderful connection that people tell me I might never find with someone else. I'm confused! Does it really matter if a lady seems to be more ambitious than a man? I don't want to go into the new year without an idea of what I want to do. 



Should I give it "us" a try? I dont want to ever hurt him, he is a wonderful person. Can I motivate him to be more ambitious? Does it work that way? Aunty Stella, please help. And my BVs too.



Hmmm....*sigh*
If you end up with him,will he set you free to pursue your dreams?thats what you should ask yourself.I dont know this guy well enough to advise you to stay or not but i do know that marrying someone who lets or helps you build your dreams is so cool.

You need to test him now to know.


.............................................................................................................


NARRATIVE NUMBER TWO
COMMUNICATION BREAKDOWN - HOLD ON OR LET GO


Good day Stella. 

It is with a heavy heart that I write this email, because I feel very stupid and foolish for allowing my self to be in this position. 
I'm an American lady, living in Atlanta Georgia, USA. My friend introduced me to this blog a few years ago. She is Nigerian, which is how I met my boyfriend. They have been friends since their university days in Nigeria. 

In 2013, he came to Atlanta to visit some family members and contacted my friend to meet up with him, so my friend brought me along because she said he's a nice guy and interested in seriously dating, I had just left a serious relationship with another Nigerian guy so I wasn't interested. 

To cut the long story short, we clicked when we met and decided to give things a shot. He stayed in Atlanta for two weeks and left to go back to Nigeria. Things got very serious, and he told my friend he wanted to marry me. I have been to Nigeria twice since he left, staying about 6 weeks at a time and have met all of his friends and most of his family members who have been very warm and kind towards me. I trust him because he's a good man and has not given me a reason to be suspicious because he allows me to go through his phone (I choose not to) and takes me anywhere when I'm around and puts me on his social media platforms.

The problem now is communication, he is going through various challenges at the moment and his place of employment have not paid him for over 8 months now, which is unheard of in the states. 

Ever since he has been having these financial challenges, our relationship has been very stressful and unpleasant. I try my best to reach out at all times, I do all the calling because it costs me close to nothing and I guess he does what he can but at the same time, he has started taking advantage of me. If I don't call, he won't call and most of the time he doesn't answer the phone when I call, although his job is demanding so I end up ranting and we get into an argument.

The main problem is, when we argue he thinks the best solution is to ignore me and not talk to me for days on end and this is really starting to chip away at my self esteem. He talks so rudely, hangs up the phone on me and doesn't apologise, even going a few days without talking to me and has a very short temper towards me, which I admit is due to my nagging and his frustrations. We have gotten into a vicious cycle of arguing about the same issue (Communication) and I have a feeling that he is having second thoughts and sees me as a nag, which is very bad because I dislike women that nag but I have found myself becoming one due to his behaviour towards me. I feel I have lost myself and who I am, I'm a shadow of myself.

We haven't talked now for some days and he is not making any effort to reach out. He says he wants to marry me and we have had discussions about me moving to Nigeria until he can sort out paperwork to come to the states. And he isn't using me for a green card because most of his family members are in the states. 


I would love it if you could take out your red pen and advise me. I am helpless and pathetically crying myself to sleep every night. I love this man and believe he loves me too. My friend says its is "see finish" because he knows I love him. I think she's right. Btw, I am 26 and he is 34.


 Please, I need advice. I failed to mention that I'm suicidal and I'm so ashamed. I even drink now, I never used to drink but now I have wine to numb the pain. 


I can't even stand going to work or socialising, I'm even gaining weight. I went to the pharmacy today and got loads of pills, I will soon take them because my heart is aching Stella. I am in pain

Please BV's, what should I do? Sorry For for the long epistle. 


Many thanks


Errrm i am confused....every suspicion that came into my mind as i read along you addressed it and seemed to put the blame on yourself for what you both are going thru.
If he is someone that hate women who nag and you have already shown him that side of you,the damage may have been done already.
let me advice you....why dont you look for a time after work where you both can communicate,it must not be calling,you can chat or skype at night..
You said your relationship is not about papers?Have you guys discussed papers at all?what was your reaction when it came up,did you suggest going over to Nigeria instead of speeding things up?

he hasnt been paid for 8months?Dont you think he told you that story to get money off you but has changed his character when you didnt get his drift?
Suggest offering him some money and see how he reacts.
Something aint right!

Suicide?dont even go there cos when you are gone,he moves on!...dont you get it?



138 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. Exactly offer him some money and see if he changes towards you then know that he's in for the money. Forget that story that all he's family members are in the States.

      Love yourself, read the in house news today about the girl that abandoned the dude and he's all over her. I'm not saying you shouldn't be a caring and understanding gf but every thing has limits especially when you are not yet married. Even after marriage, they're still limits.

      So please respect yourself and throw those pills away else he's so going to move on and you'll go to he'll for taking your life.
      Anyways, give him space and you can even tell him you need a break cos you can't deal with his moody nature and all, compose one story and work on yourself.

      I pray you get the very best.

      Remember a broken relationship is better than a broken home but at the same time, you have to be wise about the whole thing.
      It's well.

      Delete
    2. Stella, why Ur advice come long like dis.

      Delete
    3. Poster 2 is a learner, i swear. He "doesn't want you for papers because most of his family reside in the states". If i hear?!

      Of course, he told you about his money challenges to milk you. I can't stop laughing, mtchw!

      Click my name for all your celebration cakes and cupcakes, cheers

      Delete
    4. The competition between jhw and emjay na serious one. #wink#

      Delete
    5. P1 and P2. Walk away before u both send in chronicles part 2(d morning after)

      Delete
    6. Nne first of all you are not an American. Maybe naturalized here but u have urself out by spelling and writing. So no advice for u. Because if I lied about that little bit. What else are u lying about?

      Delete
    7. Poster 1 you are asking us if you should date a nuisance(in your words)?will you skerrout with your silly chronicle.
      Poster 2 you want to kill yourself because of a man?small pikin like you...what will now happen to them ladies above 30?let me just stop typing.. Cos you like what i have in mind

      SHantelle

      Delete
    8. @ poster two;He might have lied about the 8 months salary not being paid;or maybe he is telling you the truth..but the truth is irrespective of him fabricating such lies or not;dont you ever think of using your money to gamble on his love and trust towards you..cos;

      1)if he is being owed his salary for 8 months;then he is definitely reacting to the frustration due to the situation,which is natural for anyone in such condition..cos "financial capability" really means A lot in every relationship..

      2) If he is lying to you for your money or for the papers(forget that line of most of his family being there) ;then if you give him the money now,he would definitely start being caring and loving towards you;and if he is A good player,he would keep re-assuring you of his love and talking marriage whilst he is still sucking you financially with more lies as each day goes..

      And as we know;money changes people..so if you use that "Giving him money" style now;you cant tell if his reactions towards you are genuine or not..cos he would start acting all "Lovey dovey" which is Quite expected;and that doesnt determine that he has been lying to you or If he has been sincere...

      Also;About you Nagging,all i have to tell you is that nothing drives A good man away like A nagging Woman..please stop it and learn how to discuss things together like two grown individuals..

      Im sorry about your situation tho but all i have to tell you is "Work with your Intuition" and do what you know would be best for you,cos The world doesn't really care!!

      @MARTINS ABOY

      Delete
    9. Poster two there are really stupid men everywhere I swear. This man made you start nagging him. If he was communicating with you, you wouldn't nag him in the first place. He has no excuses. Respect yourself and stop calling him. If he cares for you as you think he does, he knows what to do

      Delete
    10. I don't think he lied abt not been paid tho, PMB is owing people big time.

      Delete
    11. Hmmm. All I know is that the second poster sounds more Nigerian than I do. The terminologies used in her narrative can only be that of a Nigerian. "See finish"... etc. Lol

      Anyway my dear I know how frustrating it can be when u love a man and he's not showing u the same measure of love. More annoying that u have to do the chasing by calling all the time and making all the efforts. The best remedy is to simply ignore him and stop calling. I know it's super hard cos all you'd think of is him all the time, but u can do it to redeem ur self esteem that he's trying to rubbish.

      Some men are like that when they know a woman has fallen deeply in love with them.. they begin to misbehave by testing their popularity with u. Ignore the dude and if he doesn't make an effort to come back.. bid him a final farewell and move on. It's hard, but u can do it

      Delete
  2. Let me read comments.
    Will be back.


    ******LONG LIVE SDK & SDKERS*****

    ReplyDelete
    Replies

    1. Miss roadmap, if you wanna date him go ahead spoilt child, if you don't want to na ur cup of kunu, you didn't knw he wasn't driven when you were busy with him in bed, mtewwweeeeeeeeeee.



      Poster 2, read Stella's advice over and over, especially paragraph2, u re just 26 for crying out loud, common get ur ass up and live ur life like there is no tomorrow, suicidal over a man???? Just negodu this girl ohhhhh, you became a nag outta frustration darl, its not too late, you can do it, yes u can.

      Delete
    2. Poster 2 pls dont even think of killing urself, trust me is not the answer and he will forget u and move on. My dear r u sure is not using u for ur papers or maybe he wants to use u for ur money? My advice is dont trust african men unless they have their own job and papers even then u need to be careful...I too was suicidal for a while (not because of a man but other issues) but I told myself that my life is important, I went on my knees, prayed and resolved to work hard and focus on myself. Now at 25 I opened my own business and just bought a brand new range rover for my parents and am also building a house for them. This is to show u that I would have wasted my life if I had killed myself. My dear we all have to go through trials and tribulations but u must remember than no man or woman is worth ur life. You are young, you shouldnt kill yourself because of one yeye man who will probably go behind ur back and marry a nigerian woman.
      Poster 1 I think u should give him a try, u can encourage him and see if he changed but most importantly never allow him to stop u from working on ur dreams and achieving ur goals. But know that if it doesnt work ur friendship will not be the same

      Delete
    3. Poster 1 now dat I have thought about it I think u should not give him a chance, u can not be with someone who doesnt have a vision or some goals, they will surely drag u down and pls stop having sex with him unless u allow him to put a ring on it.

      Delete
    4. Just shut up Nana. Am sure u were suicidal for a man too, u bee bragging over range rover.'don't trust african men' see your mouth, wetin poster dey fond for african body in the first place? She no see her fellow American man? Inukwa. Poster live our men and go find your type. You drink, that's who u are don't blame it on anybody.

      Delete
    5. Anonymous I pity you, you must be really frustrated. Do you think every girl is ready to die on top of boyfriend matter? I have more important things to think about in my life and I never and would never be suicidal because of a man. I can see that the fact that I bought a new car is paining you. I pray you find peace in your life and try to be happy for others because negativity won't take you anywhere.

      Delete
  3. It's all about relationships
    I will be back

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Poster 2 better don't kill yourself over a Niger nigga... he wanted to use you to gather money or something. Make yourself happy and go marry a responsible man in your country


      Once again madam atlanta nija nigga no dey smile Ooo. A word is enough for the wise.

      Delete
    2. Poster one you never realised your friend wasn't as ambitious as you are till you fucked him Abi?! I have a male friend who I'm close to like you were close to this guy. I go to his house. I lay on his bed. We gist like crazy. People see us and think We r dating but I would never ever fuck him. Cos I'd just kill the relationship we have. No matter what you do, your relationship can never be same again cos you have both messed it up

      Delete
  4. So I go back to yesterday's IHN to notice Stella didn't post my cuss out to those slippers-boobed Osarere and that's it for me. Like, I'm totally done with this place. Carrying my bag of drama to somewhere else. See you guys somewhere else

    *tucks dick and walks away

    ReplyDelete
  5. pOSTER 1, the hot sex is beginning to becloud your judgement and ability to reason properly. Stop doing pussy 'freelancing' and face reality head on...

    ReplyDelete
  6. Gold digger tins, I could be wrong tho. Some people have patience sha, I for don move on tey tey. Youre 26, youre not getting younger. Dont wait till youre 35 and he dumps you finally. Move on sister. If he's not making any effort to make the relationship work, I dont see what youre still doing. All the best.

    Prayer is key!

    ---Pesticide.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. U cud be wrong but ure not my dear...so sister girl ds man is bad news believe me and no don't offer him a dime,not a quarter and yes learn to love urself,suicidal for wht kwanu?u think taking ur life is a walk in d park abi?dont allow me to come dere n gv u a brain resetting slap...nnem u'll be fine ok,true love will find u just keep calm n trust Jesus

      Delete
  7. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Poster 1,
    You sound like you are just holding unto that guy cos u have his mumu button, u dnt sound like u love him at all cos if you do, u wldnt refer to him as a nuisance.
    Let him go and find his match and you do the same, that way u both wldnt offend each other. MO

    ReplyDelete
  9. I think I typed something earlier not too sure but ignore it.
    Okay bye.

    ReplyDelete
  10. POSTER ONE:
    YOU SEE HOW "OPENING OF LEGS" is both a show of indiscretion and leads to a dead end? Look at how you used your hands to tear a beautiful relationship. You are "a very ambitious" person and self driven, how does his driving his penis into your vagina drive you to your goal? And you are here telling us that "it felt so goooood"; good lecturer, who does not know that sex feels good? It however, does not make illicit sex (sex with anyone that has not paid your bride price) the right way to go. We are waiting for another narrative; a more sober one, if you don't turn back from this pathway and pursue more wholesome things in life including your goals and of course eternal life. You saw all what you called "the bad traits" in this guy when you allowed him to drive his penis into your hole! You know the bad side effect here? You are thinking about marriage (typical of most women), he is thinking about "the cookie", yes the sex you offered him!

    ReplyDelete
  11. Hmmm. Things dey happen sha o. This one pass me.






    Jesus is Lord.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Men wahala......i tire jare!
    2016 plz ladies no more men drama.

    ReplyDelete
  13. @p0ster 1 read yestadays chr0nicle
    @p0ster 2 as my naija peeps will say u d0n enter 0ne chance. Dude pr0bably wanted s0 cash fr0m u since u weren't getttin the drift he change his attitude t0 get ur attenti0n, and I tink its w0rking.

    ReplyDelete
  14. What is this with most Nigerian men, that whenever they have money problems, they become close to monsters?

    And no,it's not a normal thing. There are good men who have financial issues, but don't take it out on their women.

    Poster one: You should have known that your relationship with him will change, once you both have sex.
    It always happens.
    About whether or not you should date him, you know him better.

    Poster two: No go kee yourself over man abeg.
    He won't even come to your burial.

    #WhiteDiamondOut

    ReplyDelete
  15. Let me read comments today, nobody has ever thanked me for all the advice I give here.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank u angry girl,try to be soft in 2016 oh!

      Delete
    2. Thank u angry girl,try to be soft in 2016 oh!

      Delete
  16. poster 2..your guy may be saying the truth because everyone I know is complaining about not being paid..and things are tough over here..just stop calling for a week or two and see if he's going to call you back...cheers dear..
    poster 1...he likes you a lot but I can't stand people who borrow way too much...it brings you down and shows you are lazy and don't want to stand up and do something with your hands...try sitting him down and then you talk about wat you want to do in future and jokingly ask him about his visions...pretend you don't know he borrows too much and try not to raise that topic

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Lack of communication shows lack of interest. Simple test, don't call him, and see if he calls. Guage the frequency. The less he calls, the less he's interested. It's not rocket science and it goes for any man not only Nigerians. I guess someone else is keeping him busy.

      Delete
  17. @2nd poster,don't ever think of suicide,erase that from your thoughts .if u kill yourself he will move on so fast than u can imagine. i read about a guy just yesterday who married his late pregnant wife's freind just four months after she died.The lord is your strenght o

    ReplyDelete
  18. Give it a try @poster 1
    Poster 2 pls do as Stella says. Don't ever contemplate suicide. Afterall U have cute guys out there in d US

    ReplyDelete
  19. American lady, you know what? Ignore him totally. This may sound ridiculous but i bet you, it works.

    You have come to the right place for advice because we know them (typical naija boys) are allergic to loving girlfriends. They need some reasonable degree of torture to behave themselves.

    Stop lovey-doveying him, remove all unnecessary attention from him and channel your efforts towards something that would benefit your life...babe get busy or else this guy would eventually make you a shadow of yourself.

    ReplyDelete
  20. I have a friend that has not been paid for 11 months so 8 months is believable. I cannot continue any relationship am in if my partner nags. As a matter of fact am about ending a relationship I thought would be my last bcox she nags over the something for the past 9 months.

    You ladies don't know how much it affect a man when his finances is not coming forth, the last thing he expects from you is nagging. Stop nagging and you'll see some changes in him.

    Wish you well.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. 11 months? And that your frnd still works there. Arrant nonsense. The guy in num 1 post is lying as well. 8months gini? A couple or few months, I'd beliv
      . E jor, sofry dey lie this lie just cos u want take style milk d lady.

      Delete
  21. im in a similar situation,id advice you to just let him be for now. stop nagging and just try to encourage him,its hard because theres no certainty that he's not playing you but time will tell. in the meantime surround yourself with people and things that make you happy.

    ReplyDelete
  22. ist poster, the decision is yours to make

    ReplyDelete
  23. Man-woman issues everywhere you go.

    P1 and p2 introspect and take action you will stand by.... WiGATAP

    ReplyDelete
  24. madam poster number 2, you are not American. You are a Nigerian living in America. Americans don't call their country the states. If you want to fall mugu for the guy in Nigeria, na you sabi. Why will you kill yourself over someone you have not spent up to 3 months with in person? Learn to value yourself.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hahaha, i was thinking the same too... Americans don't write like that. At Best she is probably from nigerian descent

      Delete
    2. She can be an American by birth na

      Delete
    3. I tire.Who she think say she dey decieve.She may have green card but na naija babe to d core

      Delete
  25. A relationship may not necessarily lead to marriage, it's a period of getting to know the other person, if things don't go well, why not pick up the pieces and move on. And most guys will just throw the word marriage around to tie some ladies down.
    Poster 2- Find the courage to move on, this guy is just a bag of excuses. My opinion anyway.

    ReplyDelete
  26. Which kind one chance relationships una dey enter sef?
    @Poster 1
    You don't love this guy,pls break up with him and stop complaining of his character.

    @poster 2,you sound like a desperado!For Christ's sake,you are 26 and you still have time to meet a better man!
    Leave this your end time boyfriend and focus on yourself!
    Meanwhile,if you want to die because of a man who doesn't deserve you,take a bottle of chilled sniper!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  27. Hmmm,
    Poster one I like that you are driven, just maintain ur friendship and don't allow d r/ship to ruin it

    ReplyDelete
  28. POSTER 2:

    PITIABLY, YOU WERE THE ONE THAT SUBMITTED YOUR SELF ESTEEM! You mean you left the States, a lady to visit a boyfriend in Nigeria and spend 6 weeks? Well, he has done all the browsing between your legs and has gotten fed up with your vagina first before your person. Please correct me if you weren't giving him sex. Now apart from your bruised and abused persona, you have added nagging to it; bad combo. Now adding alcohol to it is finally trying to bury your killed ago. But you know the good news here? Jesus can resurrect even the dead! Drop the alcohol bottle and pick up the New Testament and begin to read it. When I went through heartbreak, that was what helped me. I got the audio; it's free online, and listen to it while I drive to work or while I ride the bus. Forget this guy. And when next you are in a relationship, think about the characters of love and know if that's what you are falling into;

    1 Corinthians 13:4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 8 Love never fails. . .

    IF YOU DO NOT SEE THESE CHARACTERS IN A MAN, SIMPLY TAKE A WALK AND PRESERVE YOUR HEART!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Character of Love is the truth
      If you see these it may not be love
      Shine your eyes
      May GOD deliver us from emotional blindness

      Delete
  29. I tire 4 Chronicles jere, I am still enjoying my marriage in peace and not in pieces. I wish una well, me no get advice.

    ReplyDelete
  30. So women still think of committing suicide because of men these days when there are millions of dicks to fuck and suck for free. LMAO.

    ReplyDelete
  31. @ Poster 2

    "Bitches settling for less since time immemorial"

    Una no dey tire

    Well I guess if everyone married the good men there would be no one left to be side chicking etc

    ReplyDelete
  32. Sdk family welcome me to the house am a newbie

    ReplyDelete
  33. The 1st narrative sounds like my boyfriend.I hope we are not dating same person.Is your boyfriend from Delta State? Does he stay in Lagos? Does he work in a bank?reply pls

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes he is. What's the next step?? Una wan go organise beating for am?

      Delete
  34. Poster 2. You want to kill yourself for a man, please go ahead. In less than a month he would have married your best friend.

    You say he hasn't been paid for 8 month? Is he a police man or a journalist. I am curious to know.

    What is the name of his company, I will do some behind the scenes investigation. But you may not like the result.

    I never advise women in relationships, they think like goats, if it's business, entrepreneurship, interior design etc buzz, I can assist. Ciao.

    ReplyDelete
  35. Hmmmmm anty stella dis one pass mua o!

    ReplyDelete
  36. Poster 1, Marry a man who's vision is large enough to accommodate yours. The wise words from my ex when we were having issues. Why date him if you know you won't marry him??? Why waste your time and later break up with him leading to at least one person getting hurt?
    A man that doesn't know how to save??? Seriously? It's girls that spend without control an that's changing.
    However, you could sit and have a chat about the future with him. You say he's your cheerleader, he might be laidback but willing to support you and help you be what you want to be. If you finally decide you want to be with him, you might need to help him with managing his money. Goodluck and make sure you use uour head as much as your heart when making th decision.

    ReplyDelete
  37. Hmmmm........ Chronicle don land o

    ReplyDelete

  38. Poster one : Have anal sex with him.If he's good,marry him.Trust me,you will forget about whether he has drive or not when you remember how good the anal sex is.

    Poster two : Have ana sex with him when next you see.He will worship the ground you walk on after that.Thank me later.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Chai,Uwa mmebi! Are u this obsessed with anal sex ?

      Disgusting! Posters, please don't mind him /her. I pray u all make wise decisions.

      Delete
    2. Why don't u buy a dildo, buy some duracell batteries and stick the dildo up ur ass permenantly and stop disturbing us with ur nonsense anal ex.I' m sure u drip poo everywhere u go.

      Delete
    3. Anal sex done come again. She go take small break then come again with the same advice. Mtcheeew...

      Delete
  39. Suicidal woman, please that guy is not for you. He wants your money and papers. He isn't a nice person at all. Please drop your email. I can be your friend. I'm female in ATL metro. Cheers

    ReplyDelete
  40. Errrm...poster 2 taking pills is not d way out of Dis mess! Is he the only guy in d world?.must u even b in a relationship?
    My dearie u are young and you av ur whole life ahead of u,dump him if u r no longer feeling d relatnship abeg.
    #petite

    ReplyDelete
  41. Stealla read my mind.... Don't pay for 8month .... Do u ask whr he works.... Search and call sm1 that's works there to know if the story gels.... These men nowadays ain't loyal.... If u die becos of a man.... He will mourn u for that hr and move on.... My friend told me abt how her friend lost her kid on holiday frm the uk yesterday to asmah..... Nd cried...1hr later she dey buka dey chop amala with big meat.... The koko of this story is.... Person weee don die don die.... Hmmmm very sad..... Life goes on... Think abt it miss sucidal ....ode

    ReplyDelete
  42. Enter your comment...
    *sigh be right back to advise

    ReplyDelete
  43. U don't post my comments, I don't knw y..#misty#

    ReplyDelete
  44. Hmmm poster 2: my ATL chic, something aint smelling right dear. Is it possible for someone not to get paid in Nigeria for 8 minths and continue to work for the company? Unheard of IMO.

    Poster 2: just let him go and fave your life.

    ReplyDelete
  45. Poster 1- hmmm.... My uncle is very unambitious! God gave him a wife who is the exact opposite. A thorough hustler. Do you know that he is so unambitious that this woman bought car and my uncle said he can't drive it because he grew up in the village and she grew up in the city. Lol. The woman just broke down and started crying. She is the one who decided what school her kids go to cos Na she dey pay fees. even to go born abroad Na her siblings for US support am. She built the only house they have in Lagos. The last time we visited she confessed that she was totally spent and just taking her life one day at a time. Thank God one of my cousins has graduated and the other one is still in Uni- American Unis. She said she is fulfilled by her kids. Cos this her husband ehn, She no fit talk. And we all know that without her ehn.... He won't be anything. Dude can't even get a job! She pushed him to go do masters, paid the fees, Na so him go finish keep certificate for box. Quiet, God fearing and prayerful. But no ambition.

    Is this where you see yourself in 20 years time? Let the answer lead you. Peace!!

    ReplyDelete
  46. @ poster1: before u get married be sure u and ur spouse are on the same wavelength in terms of vision esp if u are the woman. Cos when u are eventually hitched, some men cud frustrate ur effort and see it as too #ambitious. Its not a joking matter oo.

    ReplyDelete
  47. POSTER 2:

    PITIABLY, YOU WERE THE ONE THAT SUBMITTED YOUR SELF ESTEEM! You mean you left the States, a lady to visit a boyfriend in Nigeria and spend 6 weeks? Well, he has done all the browsing between your legs and has gotten fed up with your vagina first before your person. Please correct me if you weren't giving him sex. Now apart from your bruised and abused persona, you have added nagging to it; bad combo. Now adding alcohol to it is finally trying to bury your killed ago. But you know the good news here? Jesus can resurrect even the dead! Drop the alcohol bottle and pick up the New Testament and begin to read it. When I went through heartbreak, that was what helped me. I got the audio; it's free online, and listen to it while I drive to work or while I ride the bus. Forget this guy. And when next you are in a relationship, think about the characters of love and know if that's what you are falling into;

    1 Corinthians 13:4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 8 Love never fails. . .

    IF YOU DO NOT SEE THESE CHARACTERS IN A MAN, SIMPLY TAKE A WALK AND PRESERVE YOUR HEART!

    ReplyDelete
  48. @poster2 suicide ke cos of a man?! Isorite..All of u who worry over men ndo, once u r gone ur bff takes over
    #sipsmycranberryjuice #legscrossed
    @poster1 I dnt hv anytn 4 u now..

    ReplyDelete
  49. Jesus fix both posters, poster 2 u re suicidal coz of a man?its alrite

    ReplyDelete
  50. Hmmm!
    Poster 1
    Well u don't wanna hurt him
    But u might end up in hurting urself for life
    Guys that aint ambitious either drag u down or u end up the breadwinner
    Well u know best!
    Use ur tongue to count ur teeth

    Poster 2
    Suicidal over a guy that doesn't give a shit about u?
    Re u for Real?
    U re just 26
    If this guy really love u and want u wife u as he claims
    He will find a way to call u
    No matter how broke he is
    He will make u a shoulder to cry on yet loving
    Yes u nag cos u wanted attention from ur man and u aint getting it
    No excuse
    As painful as it might seems
    I think stella is right!
    Something doesn't look right here
    Don't allow urself be used
    Be wise!

    ReplyDelete
  51. Poster1:who send you taste soup when you no wan lick???You should have a heart to heart talk with him.try to hear out his long and short term goals,if it doesn't fit into yours,,take a walk baby..Everything will fall in place,you'll find your better half. Poster2:suicide is not an option luvie,the guy is sumwhere sipping alomo and ure over there buying pills...long distance relationships di very complicated since 1900,takes two matured minds who really want to be together.Baby try concentrating on yourself,your work,your family,your friends.Give him time and space but don't give up on him,pray for him.There's nothing God can't do.kilzeez

    ReplyDelete
  52. I should have given the division 2,one advice but talking about sucide make
    you a foolish person,,if only you knows how the sucide people are living
    lonely in death,walking alone without seeing any body to talking with,,
    so all am saying is never give up in ur dreaming and never ,,i mean never
    hurt ur very self,,but you can try him by sending him some money to know
    his faiths on you ,,then after 6months you will know all about him,,
    and make sure the money is a free gift so that its will never hurt you or ur account.
    ..menhh 8months without a paying is much,and still going to work?his boss dont
    have a car?he should collect his boss car and use it for a taxi

    ReplyDelete
  53. Poster one,decide on wat u want by yaself.
    Poster two,this ur naija guy may be trying to scam u emotionally,forget d yeye stories he told u,i smell emotional blackmail, pls take my advice,stella is right,Dnt get urself worked up bcos of dis dis guy,love is sweet,its not suppose to pain dis much,take it from me,his mind has left u already,I wish u cld forget him and move on,8months without salary? I Dnt believe it. U nid to develop a thick skin,harden up pls,do not harm urself,love urself,dust dis feeling off and pls move on. I wish u luck.

    ReplyDelete
  54. Western union- 55 cape hill. B66 4SF
    4DL


    Poster 2- don't move to Nigeria if he is wobbling financially.
    No. 2- a good man knows how to take things easy with his woman, even when Things aren't going well with him. Are u the cause of his problems? Why is he taking out his anger on u?
    no. 3- you sef give am space Na! Shuuu??? Give him space to sort himself out and come looking for you WIth a clear head.
    No. 4- you want to kill your self abi? Don't u have parents? Siblings? Friends? So all of them are now useless to you that you want to kill yourself, because of a man?? Excuse me?? Before this man came were you not living?
    No. 5- if you kill yourself he would barely mourn you before moving on, you hear?
    No. 6- Infact just stop calling him. Throw your SIM card if you have to. Delete his numbers so you won't be tempted to call. And don't you dare move to naija to a man with an uncertain job situation. Take some time off! Go to a rehabilitation facility where you would be put off your phones. For a while. And just chill. Tell them you're depressed at work, you should be able to get some leave- paid or unpaid, do this FOR YOU!!
    Note that fat is easier to gain and harder to loose. If you add too much weight it's equally not good for your health. And will block your chances of getting toasted, should this relationship pack up. So maybe you should binge after eating. You sef!! Ahn ahn....
    That your boyfriend Na wa oh!! Can't he pet someone small? Mscheeew!
    Oya sorry.....

    ReplyDelete
  55. Poster1,please make sure you he gets his life together before becoming too committed in a relationship with him. Let him know you have drive thus u will need a man who can bring something to the table.
    Have a deep conversation with him ask him what is plans for the next five years is and how he plans to achieve does plans and if he cannot please kindly walk away.


    Poster2 A man duty to his woman is to profess, provide and protect her If he falls short in doing this things he gets agitated, so please let him know it''s just a faze, pray for him, give him some space, encourage him to stay strong, remind him of how much u love him and let him know that no matter what, you will always be there for him. Am sure it will get better.

    ReplyDelete
  56. Poster1: don't ever,i repeat don't ever settle for a man without vision. You can never motivate him to be goal driven,you will only end up being a nuisance to him. I've tried it in the past its never worked. Plez,look for a goal driven man like with his map handy and navigate the sea together, trust me your ship will definitely sail. Postet2 : you've enter one chance. That niggar never loved you,he only wanna exploit you financially and when the deal failed he he brought out his true colour. Mtcheeeeew. Jobless naija guys everywhere looking for working class babes to exploit. That was how I went on date yesterday with one useless 419ner ministerand the first thing the niggar asked me was how much I earn per month and if my father has his own house. Imagine that . Naija guys I raise my left breast for them. There own gold digging is with axe and catapillar.. Please dear,hang out,socialise,make new friends, go to the gym,join a unit in the church,take yourself out and treat yourself like a princess bcos that's what you're. I know it's not easy but trust me with time u will be fine and will definitely thank God for saving you from this lazy a** mofo. E-hug dear,Jesus loves u.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. With axe and caterpillar?????
      *blinks*
      Roars with lafta
      *chai*
      Una no go kee pesin

      Delete
  57. Poster1: don't ever,i repeat don't ever settle for a man without vision. You can never motivate him to be goal driven,you will only end up being a nuisance to him. I've tried it in the past its never worked. Plez,look for a goal driven man like with his map handy and navigate the sea together, trust me your ship will definitely sail. Postet2 : you've enter one chance. That niggar never loved you,he only wanna exploit you financially and when the deal failed he he brought out his true colour. Mtcheeeeew. Jobless naija guys everywhere looking for working class babes to exploit. That was how I went on date yesterday with one useless 419ner ministerand the first thing the niggar asked me was how much I earn per month and if my father has his own house. Imagine that . Naija guys I raise my left breast for them. There own gold digging is with axe and catapillar.. Please dear,hang out,socialise,make new friends, go to the gym,join a unit in the church,take yourself out and treat yourself like a princess bcos that's what you're. I know it's not easy but trust me with time u will be fine and will definitely thank God for saving you from this lazy a** mofo. E-hug dear,Jesus loves u.

    ReplyDelete
  58. Poster 1, just go back and read your story, you forgot to pretend that you are a mermaid, smh like it is a joke and some thing trivial to have random sex. wonder how your mum will feel knowing you described the sex as gooood" like it was necessary. Try to channel your energy to better things, like your studies maybe and if you are done with that then one of your many goals, and think more about where you would end up if you drop dead today! leave the guy if you dont really care about him.
    Poster 2, give him some time I know it wont be easy but you are stonger than you think. Even if you kill yourself today he will definately move on with someone else. Go to church and pour your heart out to God and he will give you peace and direction. surround yourself friends and family as well. goodluck dear

    ReplyDelete
  59. I wanted to marry this year but not going well,,,
    how can a woman i wanted to marry have started telling me how she will
    be buying me something and paying my bills even i was pretending that my contract
    job company has not paid me?
    she want to make me a lazy man right? after marriage her eyes go open
    and she will come to stella blogs to saying how lazy i was right?
    baby carry ur money and badluck go off me,i want to be the man in my home,,
    my papa and mama sorry,,next year i go find the woman after my heart i will be
    buying things and paying her bills also,

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Please come and be buying & paying my bills o. I no go ever complain. I dey uk sha

      Delete
  60. Poster 2: Well try talk to him and if he keeps giving you that attitude, Please give him space.
    As it seems you love Nigerian men, there are a lot of other loving Nigerian men out there though the ratio is small.
    Infact channel your effort to loving yourself, because that helps when one faces challenges. It usually lead to less hurt.

    ReplyDelete
  61. Its been long i gave comments on chronicles but this second poster pushed me to do that today......

    Poster 2...so you working up urself this much because of a man to d extent of becoming suicidal? I'm thinking ur middle name is 'RUTH'. Listen, no man is worth dying for. What makes you think he is so much into you and how sure are you that he's not seeing someone else already? You see, men can put up so much drama directly or indirectly to end things with a lady.....are you sure that's not his reason for all this acting up? And pls stop blaming urself for everything.

    Poster 1....so after giving him ur cookies, u suddenly remembered he's not as ambitious as you are.....LMAO,,,yet he used to be ur cheer leader, ur counselor and all before now. Didnt you see/know that he's not so ambitious before now? A block head person can never be a good counselor nau. You have not really told us what the problem is,, but for now,, I suggest you give urself some time and space to clear ur head and think straight.

    ReplyDelete
  62. Poster 2; do not even go d way of suicide bcos of a ny man. Most of them aint loyal. If it is about a man, your own man will come @ d right time nd you will marvel @ how wonderful he would be. If you are a good girl, pls, focus your energy on something else nd gradually forget him.. Most men are not even worth crying over.

    ReplyDelete
  63. Most Nigerian men doesn't appreciate a woman's love..d biggest mistake I made was telling my ex (den bf) dat I love him. Na automatic change in behaviour.. Stop d calls @ poster 2 nd see wat happens.. #misty#

    ReplyDelete
  64. Pls pls pls..enable my comments naa..#misty#

    ReplyDelete
  65. P1 ur nt sure u guys will even end up, ur jst having headache 4 no reason. Infact marry am use am do rituals, since ur ambitious aunty. P2 he has anoda gal, wat am I saying! He has a wife.

    ReplyDelete
  66. Poster 1. why did u open legs knowing that he can't match up? If you cannot be happy with him pls WAKA, no need of 2nd chance.

    2. Dude won't marry you and if he's from Imo State Rochas hasn't paid them and if not, he just wanna be blackmailing you emotionally so that you'll start sending him money pls do not send him shi-shi. God is giving you signs now and you do not want to.take it and.find your square root. Leave that guy,

    ReplyDelete
  67. I agree with Stella's suggestion; offer him some money and see if there's a turnaround in his behaviours towards u, if there is , girlfriend you better wake up. I suspect that his plans did not mature, he is tired of u(u sound money smart) so he is abandoning the project.

    ReplyDelete
  68. Poster 2 - stop calling him. Pay him in his own coin.
    Besides he may have a babe here

    ReplyDelete
  69. Dear Poster number 1!!! i feel you, i am a man and i can relate with your connundrum, You have to liberate yourself, Be brave be bold, as we say in LAGOS "JAA ARA E !!" Tell him you guys are just having SEX yes!! good friendly SEX, and you dont want a relationship and you dont Do Love, tell him straight dont bother about his feelings and after telling him, Do Him again, to confirm and convince him that NOTHING DEY, Na just Stress Medicine.
    Unless you are in Denial that you dont Want a relationship with him, My Gut feeling is you want a relationship with him but you want to change his character to suit you defination " MY BOYFRIEND / FIANCEE"
    Babe you are on a Long Thing, let him be, Own the sex, you used him he didnt use you, and when you are done waka

    ReplyDelete
  70. Poster No 2: Your man is in a relationship with someone else. Take this to the bank and start the process of getting over him. I also reside in the states (LA) and on a trip to Nigeria in 2013; I met a guy whom I believed was all that and a cup of tea.
    Things were so sweet and rosy until a few months later when the communication problems began. I was literally the one making all the calls, I became upset because he was always forming busy and I started to feel and look like a desperate nag. My self-esteem plummeted, I gained weight, and work suffered and all this over a stupid Nigeria man who couldn’t just be honest.
    Eventually I sat down and asked myself… what is it about this guy self that I want to ruin all I have achieved in life? I realised that he was not worth what I was doing to myself and started the healing process. Because he never called, we never had romantic chats; I did not miss anything about him apart from my peace of mind.
    It turns out the dude is a gay in the closet and wanted to use me as a model bride.
    I am not saying your man is gay, but what I am saying is that if he loves you, not one day will go by without him calling you even if it is just for 1 minute. Pick yourself up honey, 2016 is a great year. Please don’t carry his bullshit into the New Year. His dog and isn’t worth it.

    ReplyDelete
  71. Poster 1: I love when I see a lady with so much drive and ambition. I am a 32 year old female; I own multiply business, and still planning on setting up more. I basically must achieve my dreams.
    But you have to be careful because not all men will support you and your dreams, and men become very intimidated when their spouses is earning more cash than them unless he has wisdom. They also start to get the inferiority complex. The higher you become, the more bullshit you attract.
    The best thing you can do, is talk to your friend about your dreams and from his reaction, you will know whether to keep him or dump him.

    ReplyDelete
  72. Communication is the key to every successful relationship....(Poster 2) take it easy and try to understand ok.. Maybe he needs money from you and he is ashamed of saying it out.

    ReplyDelete
  73. Communication is the key to every successful relationship....(Poster 2) take it easy and try to understand ok.. Maybe he needs money from you and he is ashamed of saying it out.

    ReplyDelete
  74. Communication is the key to every successful relationship....(Poster 2) take it easy and try to understand ok.. Maybe he needs money from you and he is ashamed of saying it out.

    ReplyDelete
  75. @poster2.you gave him the impression that he means the world to you,that is why he treats you like dirt.give him some space and you will see him valuing you more.men prefer being the chaser other than the chased.just try this and he will love you...

    ReplyDelete
  76. Hey Poster 2.
    Take it easy on you. A good relationship adds value to life. It boosts esteem and not depletes one sense of worth. Take a break. Be whole..get on your knees and get into God. When he fills you will love then you can love others as well. Hugs hon

    ReplyDelete
  77. First Poster: Sister Girl, i cannot advise you to stay with someone who doesn't motivate you to be better. I left a man for this reason. Now I don't know this your bobo and his level of "lack of ambition" but mine was 35 and was still pretty much clueless as to how to become better than he was so I just couldn't deal. I'm way too ambitious and driven for that.

    ReplyDelete
  78. Poster two: You are not even gone yet and he is not treating you right. When you decide to commit suicide, he will move on so fast honey! Please take the thoughts off your mind....it is never that serious. So here is my one cent, please, go to God in prayer, tell him to reveal himself to you, tell him to show you his divine will for your life and lastly, ask him to shed his light on anything that seems unclear regarding your relationship with this man. Fast and Pray and be serious about it, God would reveal himself to you...This works. I wish you luck!

    ReplyDelete
  79. Poster one, I have a friend like that but mine is super ambitious tho and doing really well in his field. We get along so well and are both hot! But guess what? I would never ever date him. We visit each other and stay in the same house when we do because we live in different states, friends have even suggested that we date but mbanu...that would totally kill what we already share and besides i'm just not interested. I'm sure he aint too.

    ReplyDelete
  80. Poster 1; I and my friend kicked off stuff just like that.I care about him but he doesn't understand that I am very ambitious and I place that above love right now.I don't want to hurt him but nigga,am not about to free making money for anybody except God and family of cos.If you can't deal,just tell him to give you time to be settled.If you guys are meant to be together,you will...good luck

    ReplyDelete

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