Hehehehe,the way people shake when there is no one to do Omugwo for them makes me laugh...There is no big deal and it even helps you find strength quick enough if you have to do it all alone.....
Hi Stella, I love your blog to bits. ...
When I was pregnant, being that i grew up without a mum and care of her sisters, in my head I always assumed my MIL will come for my omugwo as we were pretty much close and i was already comfortable with her as my mum.
Only for her to ask me one faithful day if I had contacted my aunt(mum's elder sister) concerning omugwo. Ah contact ke... told her no oh.
She now gave me the whole explanation of how culturally it has to be someone from my mum's side, except they reject the offer and all. Called my dad, hoping he will just say something different and he affirmed it. Chimo!!!! How am I suppose to call an aunt I 've not been in touch with for almost fifteen years to come and carry my new born?
I jejely made up my mind to get a nurse. I am pretty close to my dad and being a peace maker, he somehow advised me to just let her come, I reluctantly called her and unknown to me she was already preparing well.
I finally went into Labour, turns out she was not going to make it immediately until after a week, and my MIL didn't prepare and lived far from me. Everybody was just scared for me and hubby cos we knew nothing about new borns and all.
Stayed in the hospital so the nurses could bath my baby. Came back after two days and my neighbour took over, infact God bless her for me. My aunty finally came, I reluctantly went to the door to welcome her as per I was annoyed with her for not being there from the start.
As I got outside, omo e be like say she carry the whole lagos come , she immediately took over the cooking and everything concerning my house.
The only thing she didn't do was sleep with the baby at night. She will clean, cook ,wash and carry the baby all day. We ended up turning to besties and turns out she was not granted her leave, she had to fake illness just to make it, that was why she was a week late.
I was so grateful for her effort, i forgot every wrong she has ever done. Now I don't joke with her.
So my own omugwo helped me get closer to family after a long time and i definitely learnt how to nurture a new born baby.
Okay...
ReplyDeleteOk oh
DeleteEeyah. I love this
DeleteAwwww. Nice
ReplyDeleteAwwww...theres sooo much good in aloy of people. Thats why i dont really like taking to heart what a person says about others.
ReplyDeleteBtw i think am falling in love
Awwwwwwww
DeleteBeautiful
Hmmmmmmm!
DeleteYou deserve a good woman.... Good luck
This comment has been removed by the author.
DeleteThat lady is damn blessed.
DeleteUr such a great guy.
Nice one
ReplyDeleteAwwwwwwwwwwwwww.
ReplyDeleteI loved the ending!
My mummy and my grandma would be coming for my omugwo cuz I would be having twins!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Any free aunty fit join.
Lmao!
Kikikikiki
DeleteMake I join too?
DeleteSimple and short.
ReplyDeleteOk
ReplyDeletePoster your entitlement is beyond belief! Learn to do things yourself mtchewwwwwww
ReplyDeleteYou think is easy for first time mums to do everything by themselves? I guess u not a mum yet when you are, we all await your chronicles.
DeleteIt's people like you that do worse. Biko shift!! Anon my foot
DeleteI did mine alone. Enjoyed it too. Hubby helps witg other things. Get your men to help you. You are not their slaves. Ish
Delete@poster, so before you marry you did not know that culturally, it is ur mum or relation that should come for Omugwo? Did you grow up in the moon?
ReplyDeleteJames honestly I didn't know, lost my mum at a very tender age, my dad never remarried and we never travelled back home. We just remained in our base. I honestly felt that since my mum was late my MIL will be the one to come. So no I did not grow up in the moon and you should learn to think outside the box. Thanks Stella for posting.
DeleteAwwww you are so polite. Even though this james guy was talking through his armpit u gave him a calm answer
DeleteGood at the end of the day it is a win-win.
ReplyDeleteWeldone
ReplyDeleteThis Omugwo is making me want to have a baby, but no one yet. 😅
ReplyDeleteI like the happy ending..
ReplyDeleteBydway,Where i come from;its your mother that would first come for Omugwo;but whereby she isnt alive,you have the right to choose any other person that is to come..and that includes your MIL or any person you feel that could take care of you and your Baby..
The priority is just to make sure that the baby and Mother are doing well..
@MARTINS ABOY
Awww how sweet
ReplyDeleteStella omugwu is very very important especially if it's your first child. I used to think I was a smarty(google) and I had it all covered till my mum came around after my first child. Chei...so many rules. Do you know that the first few days after delivery you are supposed to sit on a stool while taking a shower and not stand? My skin was so dim, my mum just mixed some powdery concoction and applied it to my skin for 3 days(It made me all red). No bathing except to wash some necessary parts of my body. By just 1 month she was done with me and I looked liked a little fresh virgin. She kept telling me that a new mum is just like a round mold of foofoo, with the right porter her body will be redefined to exactly how she wants it, am not kidding when I say it's like plastic surgery. We are Akwaibomites and we don't joke with these things. Baby must be well taken care of and the new mama must get back in shape ASAP.
ReplyDeleteAha! No one does it like AkwaCross mehn!! *high five*
DeleteChikito&Spanish guitar,gbam!gbam!!gbam!!!
DeleteShanzEmpire
Sometimes in life, the people we least expect to help us turn out to be our saviours. God bless your aunt for her effort. BTW, Stella is this omugwo chronicle now an everyday thing? Abeg I'm tired of it already
ReplyDeleteMe I'm enjoying it
DeleteAm enjoying it
DeleteI dnt understand hw women say dier vagina is still tight after having kids normally! I had my son 3 months ago, didnt even let hubby touch me cos i was practicing kegels tru out, only for us to hav sex and down der still wasnt like beforeðŸ˜. D inside is kinda tight bt d place dey sewed was still wide, i was so disappointed. Mtchewwwww.... I giv up on kegels mehn
ReplyDeleteIt was not stitched well or you dint heal well.
DeleteAfter child birth the V goes back to normal.
It also depends on how you were sewn, my dear. Hope you get your grove back asap, pele.
DeleteLol, similar situation here. Don't give up on kegels. My dr said after second baby, he'll sew it tighter. It's not too tight now so that next baby would pop out quickly lol. For my mind I'm like who send you?
DeleteYou were not properly sutured...mine is tighter than most singles' Vjay
DeleteLolllll. "Mine is tighter" you are right!
DeleteTo God be the glory.
ReplyDeleteUna get luck I had my first at 21 had no body mother father aunt hubby... After two days the nurses left me by myself to bath the baby 3 day I was discharged . Up untill now (4) kids no omugwo.. When they visited home the first they wondered how I bath them so well! I will sit my son on my legs massage him with HOT water fling his hands backward massage him take him by neck fling him right and left take him by the legs fling right n left run the hot water on his navel my God wetin I no do! One night he was 3months old I didn't understand why he always sleeping in the morning n crying at night I woke n gave him a very dirty slap.. I finish all his Doliprane (paracetamol)it was so sweet loool.. We okay now we okay. You'll never know the strength you have.
ReplyDeleteBe there o, you don't know you had postpartum psychosis
DeleteThis one you're talking about "flinging" your son, as a new born, right and left, giving him dirty slaps and finishing his "sweet" medication. I want to believe that era has passed and that it was your inexperience that got the best of you back then.
DeleteAnon 12:23, did actually slapped ur baby?
DeleteMay God forgive you
DeleteLoooooool. It's well my dear
DeleteWhat???
DeleteHahahahahahah...
DeleteMad people everywhere even on Stella's blog...
This comment cracked me up!....
See why we need omugwo? Chai!!
DeleteLMAO. This is actually sad but it made it lol.
DeleteChild abuse alert. Flinging a new born baby upanda bitch
DeleteLmfao!! Hilarious
DeleteAnonymous 20:08 Your MOTHER.. Go to your village and observe how mothers bath their child to strengthen their neck bone and legs too compound Idiot.. 13:27 postpartum psychoses? lol that's much.. Please that was my FIRSt n real experience no sugar coating here cyber perfect people RUBBISH
DeleteKolo
DeleteLol!!!!!madam I can imagine d frustration dt pushed u to behave this way. I wish u wld hv gotten sum to relieve u.
DeleteI'm telling you. Too funny but it's actually sad. I think she was suffering from Post partum depression . Lmao @ I woke up and gave him a dirty slap. Chai. Rotfl
DeleteLmfaaoooo nah this has to be a joke.... I laughed so hard and had to re-read it. Stella please do you see this Anon 12:23''s comment. Please let this be a joke!
DeleteI laughed so much I had to read it out aloud to my hubby
DeleteAww that is one good aunt you have there. God bless her. I'm sure your igbo from your story. A mother isn't supposed to come empty handed for omugwo. She brings fish, yam, abacha and all sorts the woman will need and helps with washing and every other thing needed. It's our culture. When she is going back home, the husband now buys her wrappers and gives her money to take home
ReplyDeleteStella omugwo is needed.
ReplyDeleteWhen I gave birth I had Episiotomy I couldn't even stand, walk or sit well for days...imagine if my mum is not around what could I have done ?
And am a person that like things been in place, I don't like sand touching my feet or seeing any dirty or untidy place, even if am sick I will pick broom stick and mob immediately I set my eyes on dirt or my skin would craw at the sight of them....Thank God for my mum.
Asking God for episiotomy free child birth next time .
Don't mind Stella o, she is in a place where you can buy pre cooked foods, or walk into the grocery store and buy clean veggies and just throw into the pot. No noisy neighbors waking up your baby etc. Stella if you are in Nigeria and have to do chores, no light for vacuum cleaner or microwave, plus go to market, clean before cooking, it's additional stress. Taking care of the baby isn't a problem, it's the other chores in addition
DeleteFunny. I like. Guess your mum is late. It's well with you dear
ReplyDeleteLol. Nice
ReplyDeleteAwww,so nice.Thank god for her.I keep saying it,and mumsi already knows that my own na just to born the pikin.She'll take over once I'm back.I'm lazy likethat.MIL can come if she wants but everybody knows that in Igbo land,it's the woman's mother that takes care of her daughter and the baby.
ReplyDeleteHahahaha@whole load.
ReplyDeleteMakes me remember my experience with my Mom.. experience? No! Experiences...She does it all the time.
I tell her,"Mommy we don't want dry fish,we don't want load,we don't want okporoko(stock fish)...don't worry. Just come with your things. Ya asi "Okay nne"
Who sigh. The first inclination that there is danger is when she misses her bus(i'm not exaggerating,it happens all the time) i call my Dad and hear that she was packing plenty things and missed her bus. Those ones will b chuckling behind her,calling me to do Amebo.
Guys,she comes with not less than 4 "Ghana must go".
I suffered from a little Postnatal depression the first time,so immediately I heard "butewenu akpa" I bounced some of the Bags to the corridor.
I still don't know how she snuck them in til date,i just know that I totally enjoyed my mmiri oku ji with ogwu nwanyi Mbaise..hehehehe I chop clean mouth.
These days,i look forward to those her healthy looking dry fish I called "smelly" before kids started coming.
She's the best!
If you have someone that can come after childbirth,please invite the person. No need being all Super-woman-ish. God knows we are strong enough,no need proving that...it is the best thing ever!
Ladies that ask for help after child birth are not lazy,doesn't have anything to do with laziness. Don't be shy to reach out and ask for help.
If you don't have anyone to assist,Eyaaah. It is well,i have had days where I was alone with my toddler and new born,My back hurt!
Nne, God bless you. You said it all.
DeleteLmao
DeleteI see my mum doing all these...chei...load carrier. (reminiscing school days)
Ha! Iphie your mum does Ogwu nwanyi Mbaise too? Lolol. When I had my first baby, my mum brought the Ogwu (shaped like doughnut). I protested and she said "chere biko, nke abughi ndi guru akwukwo",that it'll make me stronger after omugwo and assured me it's the secret of mbaise women and ewu ukwu (if you get my drift). I agreed to for it to be used for the ji mmiri oku as my mum no fit poison me. How she waka go sabi mbaise secret, I no fit kowaciate. Though we hid it from hubby cos his question would have been "what drug is in the herbs?" "Do you know the pharmacology?" No time for science on this one...hahaha.
DeleteLmao@ the 2 iphies. Gush! I can't wait for mine.
Delete@Midas...God bless you too.
Delete@Pipilee,she must be one special woman...women like that are selfless and rare.
@Juujuuuuu!
Your Mom knows it too?
LMAO@ doughnut shaped,that's it!
My Mom even brought extra for my friend that gave birth too,they loved how my tommy went in the first time.
You know this@hubby, we hid mine as well,i just stumbled into it recently,wanted to throw it into the trash can since it might be spoilt now...but somehow,i held on,LOL. Emotional attachment thinzz(reminds me of my Momma)
Kisses dear.
You have no problem, just keep it cool.
ReplyDeleteInteresting!
ReplyDeleteI love This.
ReplyDeleteSome had good experiences while some people's own was bad. Such is life
ReplyDeleteGod bless you dear.
ReplyDeleteNice Omuguo story
ReplyDeleteGood for you. God bless your home.
ReplyDeleteIt's getting boring, no offence please.
None taken, dear. But please the solution to your boredom is really simple. Next time, do not open the post!!!!
Deletea.k.a EDWIN CHINEDU AZUBUKO said...
ReplyDelete.
One of the best omugwo story i have read... So onpoint no doubt....
.
.
***CURRENTLY IN JUPITER***
Awww...wonderful story with a happy ending... I will send in my omugwuo chronicles soon.
ReplyDeleteCan't carry a baby who is less than three month old. My hands will be shaking uncontrollably, thats how I went for one naming ceremony and was giving the baby who was just a week old. Chai my hands were shaking that I quickly asked someone to please carry the child to avoid stories that touch. My Toto no ready to born yet biko plus can't stand the tot of my punani losing shape due to child birth kai.
ReplyDeleteI love kids but to born pikin no follow at all. Dont know the drama wey go happen if i eventually get married. And I heard the pain is outta this world yet you go see one woman born 9 children, how dey do it I can't understand.
Even with the pain people are seriously praying,begging and hoping for a child, mhen what a life.
Receive 10 doses of sense
DeleteThat's why we are women. God made it possible for us.
DeleteLol, you can have elective c/s if you are scared. But the difficult part in pushing out a baby is the head. A miracle happens in the form of the skull bones overlapping to ease passage. Babies skulls are not fused for this purpose.
DeleteMy dear, u wnt knw ow strong u r until u experience it. Na d sweetest joy babe
DeleteAnon 13 :48, pls stop. See me imagining things. Ha! Even if I watch child birth video one billion times, I am still scared abeg
Deletehmmmm, now this is an interesting omugwo! thank God you were able to make up for all those years of resent with your aunt, and she even had to fake illness just to take a leave from work to be with you all the way from lagos? awwww...God bless her kind heart and you as well with the rest of your family,Amen
ReplyDeleteVery interesting omugwo, God bless all the kind and generous aunties out there starting with mine. Dearest Aunty T, you rock! I love you. (hope she'll come online today
DeleteSeems this omugwo chronicles is getting boring already 🙄🤔🤔💤💤......or am I the only one feeling this way 🤔
ReplyDeleteYou are the only one. Butter leaf cynthia
DeleteYes you are the only one. Better than regular chronicles... At least keeps me busy before that one is posted... We need to have wedding night chronicles too...
DeleteStella pls don't stop the Omugwo stories. Wedding night stories ain't such a bad idea too.
DeleteAww so nice. Stella please post a link to other episodes so I can read up.
ReplyDeleteI must post my omugwo chronicle. U go fear nah.
ReplyDeletePlease don't speak ill of your MIL. That's what majority of the omugwo chronicle is.
DeleteLolz
DeleteAwwwwwwww God bless her kind soul!
ReplyDeleteTraditionally,where I'm from, it's my mother that would come for omugwo..
ReplyDeleteBut since I will be having triplets, it will have to be my mum and MIL..
And I'm sure that I would have a good MIL, one as good and kind as my grandmum is to her daughters-in-law.
And I won't expect them to do Nada around the house, save for helping me carry and bath my babies..
As for house chores and all, that will be settled.. No biggie.
Triplets...wow!
DeleteCongratulations
Thank you pipi Lee.. That's how we do it.. Lol
DeleteCongratulations Dakota! Abeg make I tap from your blessing oo Biko.
DeleteBeautiful
ReplyDeleteAwwwww! Such a sweet tale, God bless your aunt! I would never joke with people like that in my life.
ReplyDeleteAwwwwww...I love this particular story!
ReplyDeleteGod bless your Aunty and your neighbour. I mean generosity is amazing. God bless my neighbour who also helped me.
ReplyDeleteGod has a way of bridging gaps, sweet story.
ReplyDeleteGood to know.
ReplyDeleteI am loving this omugwor stories, thank you stella for this episode, there are lots of lessons taking from their tales.
ReplyDeleteWOW!Nigerian women make it sound like they are the only ones to have a baby.
ReplyDeleteWhy do you need so much help? Why do you expect so much from others just because you and your husband decided to lay down and make a baby together.
This poster even went as far to say that people were scared for her and the husband.
What do you think other women around the world are made from?
Or are you just lazy and weak?
I've been reading this chronicles and the most shocking thing of it all is that new mothers have been leaving the new born a to sleep in another room with somebody else!?!
I have never seen a case of a new mum wanting to be separated from their baby.
No mention of the husbands/dads.
Are you not a partnership?
Can he not learn to bath his on child?...can you not learn together?
Take it in turns at night to feed the baby?
No wonder Nigerian men end up believing that the child's care belongs to the mum only.
These tales have only made me realise how lazy Nigerian women in nigeria really are.
And the feeling of entitlement is shocking!!
😂😂😂😂 Oya jump in the lagoon and take a bath. *teebillz style*
DeleteI live abroad and my mum was with me when I had my baby so I was good but something that was reiterated in my prenatal class was ... accept as much help as you can. We were told about how some women go through post party's depression and psychosis and the ideal situation is to allow someone do the house chores (neighbours, friends Etc) People in the western world are individualistic hence no mother or relative to support new mothers but even the medical professionals will tell you that it isn't ideal . As African we have some parts of our culture that are progressive and good e.g being communal. We should not undermine this. I live in the western world and I know that people here admire our support system. Let's embrace our culture and see the positive in it. Omugwo is a great culture , yes it sometimes leads to issues but every mother that has had help wouldn't trade it for anything. If you don't like or want it doesn't mean that it's bad. I have the feeling of entitlement because my mum did it for me with so much love I almost burst into tears when I think of it. I can't wait to be my daughters "house help" as some of you call it.
DeleteOh please shut it! Nigerian women are lazy, bla bla bla! Bitter leaf Cynthia. Outside Nigeria, some parents do decide that the newborn should sleep in his room and they install monitors round the house. I'm sure you live in Benin and be forming abroad. Yeye person.
DeleteAkwaibomite in deed i am ibo got married to Akwaibomite who I love so much, we met in the church, but this guy dealt with me so much in this 10 years of marrying him and exhaused all I have ever saved or laboured, the only work he could get after been idle for 6 years he got himself into trouble and ran away leaving me with 3 children to take care of in this Nigeria that is like this. I hate anything called I Akwa talkless of mite, he entruncated me love life and that of my gentility.
ReplyDeleteAkwaibomite in deed i am ibo got married to Akwaibomite who I love so much, we met in the church, but this guy dealt with me so much in this 10 years of marrying him and exhaused all I have ever saved or laboured, the only work he could get after been idle for 6 years he got himself into trouble and ran away leaving me with 3 children to take care of in this Nigeria that is like this. I hate anything called I Akwa talkless of mite, he entruncated me love life and that of my gentility.
ReplyDeleteAkwaibomite in deed i am ibo got married to Akwaibomite who I love so much, we met in the church, but this guy dealt with me so much in this 10 years of marrying him and exhaused all I have ever saved or laboured, the only work he could get after been idle for 6 years he got himself into trouble and ran away leaving me with 3 children to take care of in this Nigeria that is like this. I hate anything called I Akwa talkless of mite, he entruncated me love life and that of my gentility.
ReplyDeleteGod dey
DeleteAkwaibom/calabar men are generally lazy people.
DeleteWell, there's always a judas in every tribe. So take heart.
DeleteSorry dear. Thats so sad. I really empathize with you. I understand how you might not transfer that feeling to the whole Akwa Ibom people but trust me, sis, you just met a lazy wicked man. The mama fit no even teach am like that. So sorry for your pain. He was just a bad man. I'm married to an Akwa Ibom man and everyday , I pinch myself and ask myself what I could've done to have it so good...in fact the whole family.
DeleteHugs...dear..God will see you thru and he will get his due recompense but don't let the bitterness overwhelm you
Wao oooo I luv this story
ReplyDeleteNice
ReplyDelete