Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Decent Single Ladies Do Not Live Alone?

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Wednesday, October 19, 2016

Decent Single Ladies Do Not Live Alone?

Are there still men who think decent Ladies should be living in their parents house?Are there still men who think it is only runs girls who live alone?

Are these group of men those with cupboard mentality or are they right?







''Stella, kindly post this in your couch session so different views can be aired.


Growing up in a family which comprised of both guys and ladies, we were trained to work hard in school and hustle. I schooled in a federal university in the west which has accommodation for students but because of the neat freak that I am, I opted to rent a self contained apartment outside school and this became a part of me. 

From that time onward till now, I have always stayed alone. From University to NYSC and when I started working , I enjoy living alone, I have friends. a fiancé and family but after work or spending time with my loved ones, I prefer to come back to the privacy of my own house. its like my sanctity from the craziness of the world. My two elder sisters stayed alone before they got married, its like the norm in my family, nobody sees any big deal to it. 


my parents do not believe it is over protectiveness that keeps a lady decent. Their motto is do your best to instil the right values in a child and submit them to God when they are adults and trust that they will not depart from it.
So imagine my surprise when I met a guy during the first S and M and after we went on a date in a restaurant in VI, he asked who I stay with and I said alone and his countenance changed. I asked why and he said he doesn't think a lady that stays alone can be decent and ladies always need someone around to guide and monitor them.

 I was like 'huh?', I couldn't relate to it. 

I do not mean to brag but my husband will be the first man I sleep with and I have stayed alone for years, so his opinion doesn't hold any water, at least in my case. His pre-colonial mindset put me off and needless to say, that was the last time I saw him. I got even more pissed when he asked if I will consider moving back to my parents house so we can have a future together .

I am due to marry in a couple of weeks but I am asking this now for my friend/colleague, I would refer her here to read comments. She is going through a similar issue, her boyfriend insists she moves to her aunt's house and he doesn't like the idea of her living on her own. She asked for my opinion and I have decided to throw the question open. 

Is something wrong with a single lady living alone? 

does staying under your parents till you move into your husband's guarantee that you will remain decent? don't girl's do runs right under their parents' nose? Maybe other single ladies can learn from the diverse mindsets that will be expressed here.
Thank you Stella for posting



249 comments:

  1. Most men don't regard single ladies that stay alone. Except in states where by you have no family, just work related. In most cases, most jobs provide accommodation.

    But for a single lady to stay alone in a state where her family resides speaks negative about such individual.

    The exposure you got during your uni days should be okay ( for those that schooled far).

    What am I even saying?

    Grabs garden and nkwo oji! Na here I de today

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Aint nothing wrong with a single lady living alone. Africans with our backward mentality!

      Delete
    2. Loooool!

      You just tooo igbotic. Na Igbo men get this mentality pass, especially the Omata amongst them. Very insecure set of people.

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    3. Really an archaic mentality.

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    4. This Post is Incomplete without Chikito's narrative.

      I can sure relate to whatever she'll type

      Delete
    5. NOTHING wrong with single lady living alone.

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    6. There is nothing wrong with living alone. Any man that loves you will love you unconditionally. avoid men that will give you terms and conditions for their love because they are not worth your love.
      My dear, advise your friend to live alone if she is the type that like privacy.
      Some girls live with their parents and still born at home. So living righteous life is a personal decision. It has nothing to do with where you live or what you wear.

      Delete
    7. There ain't nothing wrong with a single lady staying alone, in fact it's a sign of responsibility, being decent has nothing to do with staying alone or with parents or guardian, it's a thing of the mind.

      Your comment will be visible after approval.

      Delete
    8. I live alone and my parents are cool with it...I know some guys don't like that but some guys don't have issues with him as long as you are not wayward...its not a big deal

      Delete
    9. Ideato, ur brain is damaged.
      What is wrong in living alone.
      Keep depending on your poor parents little salary.
      Igbotic human being

      Delete
    10. You have a fiance' but you are still going on a date from S&M. And you are married in a few weeks time...okay ohhh

      Delete
    11. Portable, your brain needs a panel beater! My opinion none of your business

      Delete
    12. @ anonymous 14:51..may God bless u...u av a fiancee...u still doing s & m apart from that you will marry next week...however to the point...decent has nothing to do with living alone or with parents...however from my experience girls who stay alone decent or not are easy prey...as many loose dicks will disguise like angels to av the Cookies... As they can easily frequent d girl's apartment... Imagine d decent girl with a guardian... You see that those loose dick will be scared to try their lucks as they don't want the girl's family's wahala..that's it...

      Delete
    13. Okay, quit an interesting one. Growing up, I have always had that dream of getting to a stage in life where I have my privacy, live alone. Where I go to work or do my business and come back to my own place, my place of sanctity and sanctuary and rest before I finally get married. I utterly see nothing wrong with a single lady living alone neither does it depict she is into runs. It kinda speaks negative if your parents are in the same state with you and you are living alone, but then, m a lover of "my own space" no matter how little or tasteful it is. Being currently living alone in lagos since nysc days and hunnay, I see nothing wrong with a woman wanting her privacy. Whoever wants to do runs will do runs even if she lives with the parents or not. So therefore, that ain't a good yardstick to measure.

      My two cents

      Delete
    14. Archaic mentality. So even if most jobs provide accommodation, wouldn't she still live there alone too? Mtcheeeeeew!

      Delete
  2. Nothing is wrong with a single lady living alone. Single ladies are making it big. Goodluck to all

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Who is talking about making it big here? What will it profit a single lady to'make it big' and ends up gwegicious? Stop consoling yasef!

      Delete
    2. I see nothing with a lady living alone, it makes you even know you've got a responsibility ahead of you and somehow prepare you for the future and on the other hand ladies staying with parents a well isn't a crime just know your watt where ever you are living that's just the long and short of it all.

      Delete
    3. See this one? So what if she doesn't get married? Who marriage epp? As I am I may be pregnant for my bf and we are waiting to take a test. We will have the baby together but not get married,I love him but just not like that, he has good genes so the baby will be so cute. I see myself as a good mother but not a wife sometimes and this is the best. And yes I don't live in Nigeria(land of Judginas) and he is not a Nigerian. Naija men stop feeling like a woman needs una to validate herself, you are not God's gift to women. Una no even fine sef so why una dey stress person? Do sef una do half reach wetin black Americans and Jamo dey do so wetin special for una? Jamo go b*ng your brains out for night con bring you breakfast in bed in the morning when u no sick o...naija guy with him big nose and disproportionate lips go expect you greet am for morning.

      Delete
    4. Anon 12:40,
      It is people like you that are giving men the wrong impression which brings about this couch session. So you are indirectly advising single ladies to be giving birth out of wedlock like you abi?
      If you call Nigerian men all those names just make sure that you remember that your brothers, father and forefathers are one of them. Christmas she goat. Ashawo 5kobo.
      Keep on banging away your destiny and come here and be blowing pidgin English all in the name of speaking grammar. See your useless life, as a motivational speaker that you IS nau.

      Delete
    5. Annon 12:40 tomorrow now you av a son without a father's care & he will start treating daughter's of those with responsible family like trash...& your daughter without a father will see u banging diff boyfriends & u expect her to be responsible.... God created marriage for a purpose ode...its your right not to marry but don't insult those who do so...& from your post like u wish jamo go marry u...lolz...black jamo has many fools like u to donate sperm for so chill out...& for your info can jamo fuck 4 straight hours?if not ur thing is still a virgin

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    6. This is an issue for Nigerians living in Nigeria nd yes I support anon 12:40 cos in d uk it's not by force to marry anyone u have a child for, the system here makes everyone independent not waiting for a man to feed u

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    7. My comment pain the guys. Hehehe una no fine period. Una no see where I say the guy will be involved for the child life? (I.e. If I'm pregnant) must I marry? any award for marriage? Una know weda na my destiny not to marry? Disproportionate lips ranting up and down. Hahahaha

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    8. Chijioke no my current bf is not Jamaican. You are a typical example of what I don't want in a man i.e. Woman wrapper. Whatever you say will not change the fact that you are not good looking enough, your other room skills are wack (action men don't brag about it) and the only way you can speak to me in real life is if I hire you to be my gardener...

      Delete
  3. What ever rocks your boat.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This is an ill mentality, I am a man and don't see anything wrong in it especially if she is an adult, cuz some parents can be somehow

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    2. Not some parents,say ur own parents,as long as ur a single lady staying in the same vicinity wf ur parents, why go leave outside? It's clearly wrong

      Delete
    3. I have always loved living alone cos I love my space. From higher institution to NYSC. I don't like sharing my bed and pillow. Yea, I'm that stingy. I would have been living alone now if things had worked the way I planned. There is absolutely nothing wrong in living alone if you have the means to foot your bills. The only downside to it in this part of the world is insecurity. Nigeria has zero security which could make a lady living alone prone to various forms of attack from the crazy humans in this world.
      The wayward ones are the ones who live in their parents house. That's where they hide to commit all the "commitables."
      If you've got discipline, you've got it..and whether you are living by yourself or not won't change anything.

      Delete
    4. @Anonymous 12:30, you are on of the backward fellows we have in this world. Oh yes, my parents and I stay in the same state, but I live alone ; and you know why? Proximity to my place of work.. there are many other reasons why a single lady will live alone..
      Anyway, all this one is just that you are in nigeria.. mtchew

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    5. Why should I live alone, I work not so far from the office, in my house I have a Room to myself.

      To ladies whose parents are landlords, I feel it's like demoting oneself, except I am in a different town.

      Or in another house built by my parents

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    6. You can decide to live with your parents for the rest of your life but don't say is wrong for a single lady to stay alone.

      Delete
    7. Ideato, na that your not so far from the house office you dey always enter staff bus go?

      Cherrycee, I'm like you. Though i live with my sister but i still have that space. Enough rooms in the house.

      Delete
    8. @ideato..you are a bloody liar. You work not far from home and you are always waiting for staff bus and standing at the bus stop the days you miss your bus?
      @swag lafresh, I thought I was the only one that saw that. This girl de blow lie for federal.

      Delete
  4. Madam, u are due to marry in a couple of weeks. What then are U doing in SnM.U must be a very dishonest fellow.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Exactly!!Due for marriage, yet u went for the date, why did u even get involved in S&M? Are u single? NO

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    2. She said one of the first SnM. My God! Can't you read? Na u dey judge person o,instead of to go brush up on your comprehension skills. Peace my foot.

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    3. Hahahbahaha ur comment cracked me up, this is typical of James, is only an educated illiterate man that will think that way, I hate Nigerian men with their backward way of thinking.

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    4. Lol..some people obviously don't get the singles part.

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    5. James,before you jump to reply every comment,didnt you see she said during the first S and M? Do you know how long ago that is?

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    6. @Peace maker aka James, why do you always show off your ignorance??!!! The poster CLEARLY said she met someone in the 1ST SnM!! Now she's about to marry and she's asking on behalf of someone else!!

      Read and comprehend before rushing to comment

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    7. Hey read well naaa. She said the first SnM

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    8. In this times and age? Is this even a subject of discussion? It's only in this part of the world that it's even okay to live with parents till full blown adulthood and in most case marriage. In advanced societies, you're free to live on your own the moment you turn 18+ be you male or female. And even if you want to keep staying with parents you are obligated to start sharing in paying the bills. This shows growth and acceptance of responsibility And not the opposite.
      This Nigerian mentality of staying with parents for God knows how long is very wrong and backwards. No wonder we have half naked adults all over the place. People always thinking age shows maturity. Age is just a fucking number. A lady is good to staying alone and independent if she has the means. YOU'all should shun this slavery mentality. It's 18th century and so late.
      Cheers you'all!

      Delete
    9. Una nor de read for here. Always rushing to comment. Longhiss

      Delete
  5. Lol time to step away from small minded and shallow men.
    If you ain't feeding or clothing me please keep your opinion to yourself.
    It was war for me too with my parents when I wanted to move out.
    Africans are of the notion that when you want to live alone it's because you want to do "iranu" nonsense.
    Might be true for people into that kind of thing but for me the space was long overdue.
    It was time to move out and live my life as I pleased.
    I don't need the roof of my parents or a man to live or be seen as a responsible member of society.
    Since it worked for you why aren't you advising your friend same?
    You still met a man who will marry you after you left the myopic minded one.
    It's even more funny when landlords won't give a single lady their place for rent.
    They'd ask you where is your husband, where are your parents, why do you want to stay alone.
    Fortunately, I didn't come across such questions when I was looking to rent because I was already ready with my answers to those silly questions.
    I work and can take care of my needs. Your own is to collect my money and we agree on terms.
    You can roll your eyes when I don't meet your terms and conditions.
    Any man who won't date me because I live alone. Oh well! Selah to you and yours because it means you are not good enough for me.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. And you are still single and happily gwegging at 33

      Delete
    2. Africans , Nigerians specifically can like to do eh..abroad its even a thing of joy to move into your own apartment but here it is like a crime, as for me when I'm done with school I'm staying on my own ,anyone who don't like it can g2h ,I see absolutely nothing wrong with it,especially with the way some parents are,even if you're 30 they'll treat you like a child because you're still with them.

      Delete
    3. @Ideato, unlike you I don't need a man to validate my existence. Unlike you I am not busying waiting around for the next S and M.
      You bitter single witch.
      I am not even close to 30 and I still don't act stupid or troll people on the Internet.
      Please pray tell, how old was your mother when she had you for you to be so silly and ignorant in 2016?
      Detest from spilling phlegm under my comment.

      Delete
    4. Ur comment is so stupid. I just feel like slapping you. Nonsense.

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    5. *busy
      Autocorrect always doing the most huh😑

      Delete
    6. This Ideato you have a low down dirty shamed mentality. I envision you to be a very local scum of the earth. No wonder you silly comments. Is it a sin to be single and happy. Marriage is not a trophy. I feel for you.
      I'm a dude but I concur with you doppelganger. A new age lady should live for herself first. Fuck the fucking society.

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    7. Dopple....You would have clicked ignore. Why give her attention? She is not worth a second of your time if you ask me.#Disappointed

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    8. You are so stupid and demeaning mentally to mention my precious mother.

      Why so bitter if you truly aren't a gweggz. You are a bitter, old witch.

      Just as the fact says, comedians 're the Most depressed, you the Chief advisor is facing a lot of life crises, but because you act as a counselor you don't feel safe to complain.

      Go and get your life started! If you believe I was looking for a boo then you should be in common entrance examination Hall because u can believe anything.

      I don't need a man to validate myself, but I need a man to fulfill God's will for mankind. I am not desperate. Not even up to 25! Yes!

      I catch fun trolling, so why won't I troll.

      Never you mention my mother here! Else you'll never live to be a mother yourself!!!

      Delete
    9. You are so stupid and demeaning mentally to mention my precious mother.

      Why so bitter if you truly aren't a gweggz. You are a bitter, old witch.

      Just as the fact says, comedians 're the Most depressed, you the Chief advisor is facing a lot of life crises, but because you act as a counselor you don't feel safe to complain.

      Go and get your life started! If you believe I was looking for a boo then you should be in common entrance examination Hall because u can believe anything.

      I don't need a man to validate myself, but I need a man to fulfill God's will for mankind. I am not desperate. Not even up to 25! Yes!

      I catch fun trolling, so why won't I troll.

      Never you mention my mother here! Else you'll never live to be a mother yourself!!!

      Delete
    10. Thank you Doppelganger for finishing the idiot. This ideato blogrity faith martins is the most stupid fellow on this blog. She is trying too hard to stay relevant on a freaking blog. I love the way that girl finished her one birthday post sometime back. Silly thing!!

      Delete
    11. Ideato you need delivearnce for trolling Dopple. You think you are wise abi. That some people keep quiet and maintain their lane doesn't mean they dont have anything to say. Mumurity. With your orangutan hips and kpomo lips. Ode oni iranu oshi. If I hear kpim from your mouth ehn you will see whin. Na me and you for this blog.
      Dop why u answer this fool? She nor reach u naa

      Delete
    12. Doppelganger for the money shot!! *raising Beyonce hands* Give dem left and right!! Finish the irritant! Namsense!

      Delete
    13. Ideato just doesn't know when to stay gracious and stop being a nasty troll

      So classless
      Lmao

      Delete
    14. I don't want to be a wife or mother.
      So keep cursing if that will help you sleep better at night love.
      I asked you a question silly, why are you crying because I mentioned your mum.
      You catch fun trolling then don't try it with me next time.
      You don't know me and trust me you don't want none of my trouble.
      Peace and love😙

      Delete
    15. Doppelganger 😘😘😘😘

      I started living alone when i got into uni at age 16 till after my MSc. When i relocates to lagos, i would have lived alone if I didn't have siblings here.

      Ideato, you need to take a chill pill. Long over due

      Delete
    16. I can keep quiet for anyone but not this silly thing who can't spell or talk sensibly to save her life.
      @Cherry cee and port harcout's finest, I chose not to keep quiet for this thing this time.
      She needs to understand that not everyone is to be spoken to anyhow.
      I'm not a lowlife and let this be the last time I see her underneath any of my comments. It's not the first time she'd do it and I have ignored.

      Delete
    17. Dopp, thanks for putting that THOT in her place.

      Very silly girl. Always talking like her mouth has dysentery!

      Delete
    18. Good reply to Ideato @doppel.
      People should mind the way they talk especially in a public forum...no matter how faceless the blog is, some of us come here to learn one or two thing.

      Delete
    19. Ideato I hate you,yes u,foolish idiot,anu mpama,monkey...I wish I jx knw u in psn, I wud Aav treated ur fuckup,silly thing

      Delete
    20. I tell u @chi exotic.to think she used to make sense before,what the hell happened to u?I'm ashamed on her behalf.stop being stupid abeg.it ain't sexy ahn ahn

      Delete
    21. Ideato, u said u are not up to 25?
      Kikikikikikikikiki
      Keep deceiving your self..... Internet troll with no sense.

      Delete
    22. So na ur mama wey she call na im dey pepper u?shuoooo then stay on ur lane else I go join her abuse ur mother wella

      Delete
    23. @ideato. What's the meaning of demeaning mentally? You can't even construct a meaningful sentence yet you open your gutter mouth to insult people here. You are are classless and dull. Oh you are pained. Does it hurt? You insult people here and when the same is meted out to you, you start tearing your pant.
      @cherrycee..she should reply her. I love her response. Someone has to put this bitch in her place. She has bitten more than she can chew.

      Delete
    24. Hi five @doppel. So happy you put Her in her in her place, what nonsense... Mtchew

      Delete
    25. @Gwen I am solely responsible for my attitude. I chose when to be reasonable or not.

      @unknown who your love help?

      @calabar Ass licker

      @Chi Exotic Did you contribute to my 18GB?

      @poetharcourt small boy! Go and hustle

      Delete
    26. @ Doppel, you're are so on point...very solid point u made for ladies to learn. It is this fear of staying alone and what society will say make some ladies blind to see any fault in a man that it's not right for them. For me as long as you are Focused in Life the sky is your Limit...
      @ idiotà, your comment to doppel was uncalled for....anyways you're just acting your age,

      Delete
    27. Same way I have always ignored her...but one day. Monkey go go market...You troll to have fun. Really? Dopple is having fun now, so why pained? How dumb!!

      Delete
    28. Ideato serves your licking mouth right.
      The struggle to stay relevant is real. You don't throw the first punch and determine how your opponent reacts. The fact that you live under your parents roof doesn't make you a better person, @ least your antics on here is proof.
      And yes, I too am of the opinion that you are Faith Martins, or you both are related. This thing you always do is as shitty as fuck.

      Delete
    29. Demeaning mentally? I have not heard this one before. Ideato really? Even my auto correct changed your name to idiot. Hehehehehe.. NNE, you are an olodo. You can't speak to save your life. Tuehh!!. High 5 doppel

      Delete
    30. See my haters ooo. Okay na. Una go die put for my matter.

      Ill gladly sponsor your obituary

      Delete
    31. I live alone and there is nothing wrong with that .
      Hello !!!!!!!

      Delete
    32. Hahaha, you troll like a zombie and when you're replied in same fashion, you begin to vibrate.

      Delete
    33. Ideato, Just take your L and keep it moving

      Hehehehehehehehe

      Delete
    34. Are you done pondering about your life @quicksilver?

      Delete
    35. @doppel.. i owe u big time. Dat rubbish girl (wud ve called her foolish but God said we shudnt call sum1 foolish) called ideato wont mind her bizness.. tinking say na she get sharp mouth pass. Shey dey ve put u in ur place now, ur body don cool. Ewu chibok. 25yrs my foot. Keep lying to urself. Desperate animal.

      Delete
    36. Hahahhahahahahaha. She wants to kill herself. Dopple is having fun too so you are even. You wrote epistle for Dopple cos you are hurt? The day I will remember you, you will surely write a textbook. You troll people. Now it's your turn and you are in pains? Just wow! Enjoy...and keep shut about the obituary cos that ain't happening. Keep tearing your pant..and wtf is demeaning mentally? English is sure hard!

      Delete
  6. Biko what happens if a single lady work in a town where she has no relative to stay with. Pls this is a old fashioned school of thought. Whatever that makes u happy do it. Imagine. We are talking of adults here biko.

    If the man is so interested in ur friend, why not marry her fast instead of sending her to her aunts. So the aunt will see her finish.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This is my situation now, I discussed this with a male friend last week saturday and he was against it as well. I stay with an uncle who has 3 young kids, that's a family of 5 already, his wife younger sister is there as well and my uncle's sister just sent in her soon to come and stay with us until he get an admission in school, making us 8 living souls inside just mini flat apartment, that's what my uncle can afford and we even live in an extreme edge in Lagos where the house rent is #100,000/year. My parents are in another town and I have nobody to stay with. Are you now telling me that if I have like 100k I shouldn't rent an apartment for myself, above all, I'm 28years

      Delete
    2. I live alone in Lagos. My mother is fully aware. Whenever she comes from abuja, she stays at my place. No biggie.
      You would be shocked that when you live alone your life is basically work - home - church

      Delete
  7. That is the general assumption especially when you are living alone in a city like Lagos. Because of that notion, I had to stay with a frustrated aunt and endured all her wahala till I got married.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It was a great sigh of relief leaving my parent's house years back.... I am not physically challenged.

      Pls pocket Ur thinking,,,, too medieval

      Delete
    2. I really don't see anything wrong with a single girl living alone,as long as she can afford it.I stayed alone as a student and now that I'm working,I live with my elder brother who is just two years older and still very much single but that only because we work in the same city,so he has enough sense to respect my space and the fact that I am an adult.Doesn't monitor my movement in any way so it's as good as staying alone.
      I know my parents would have wanted me to stay under their roof if I worked in the same state where they reside,because of this same mentality but I would have fought it.

      Any man that thinks this way is small minded,and should be far from me please.I have many female friends that live alone and their boyfriends even prefer it that way.

      Any man that thinks like that in 2016 is really just being silly.

      Delete
    3. Lizzy berry, you are so uncouth. Whatever you do isn't my business,so keep off.

      Delete
  8. That's an archaic thinking....

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  9. Some guys are just insecure.. I remember when my man was about to travel he asked me to move in with his mum because I was living alone then.. I agreed because the mum was close to 80yrs then also very rich. I only get to have fun when mama is fast asleep and always come back before she wakes up because I was a nympho then, can't do without having sex in a week. Now I'm married to the same man with kids. 😮

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Dats y u all wanna live alone, so u can av sex as u wish....even staying with his mom u still went out for sex....men I can't deal.
      Staying alone or not isn't d issue, a hoe will always be a hoe!

      Delete
    2. So his insecurity was justified... Pity he married u, u're a bomb waiting to explode.

      Delete
    3. @ seyi you are very stupid.. If am a hoe, what are you? A blunt cutlass I guess 👎👎👎

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    4. You are keeping it real gal..more fire to your boiling punani no try am now wey una DON marry o cause devil go leave you for express niyen.As for the writer of this bull crap up there I need to shine a zillion halogen lamps into your dark age life

      Delete
    5. All u girls screaming am an adult & can stay alone...I have fucked all d adult am staying alone girls I know...naija how's comparing us to Yankee girls...while their pussy is screwed by 1 sugar daddy & bfs or the other

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    6. 16:14, is it your pussy? Idiot!

      Delete
  10. Different strokes for different folks. When it comes to issues like this, there's no particular norm that is deemed right or wrong. So whatever works for you.

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    Replies
    1. Hmm humans. Currently i work and stay alone in Lagos.earlier my colleagues in the ofice were like it's not good as a woman to stay alone and all that blah.I went to leave with a family friend. Didn't find it funny. Now I'm back to staying alone and I haven't changed a bit. Still the same person I am. What I believe is what you can't do at comfortably at home,don't try it outside. I'm still decent and I am single. Anybody who thinks that staying with family is a stamp of decency needs to rethink

      Delete
    2. It's an archaic and stereotypical mentality.

      Delete
  11. I see nothing with a lady living alone, it makes you even know you've got a responsibility ahead of you and somehow prepare you for the future and on the other hand ladies staying with parents a well isn't a crime just know your watt where ever you are living that's just the long and short of it all.

    ReplyDelete
  12. This is not a topic for discussion. Only very myopic and primitive thinking people think staying alone means you're not decent.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Exactly my dear.. I have been living alone right from my internship day despite my parents staying in the same state. In fact, they encouraged me. They want me to be independent and it paid off. It helped me plan better. Anybody that has a bad opinion about the single lady living alone shout drink an acid.. Mtchew. They think it's all ladies that are "runs girls"

      Delete
  13. A good percentage of women that stay alone are more decent than those that stay with parents. I stayed alone from my 2nd year in school till I got married. This is a period of about 15 years. I had friends that stayed with parents or family members and the things I see and hear them do I could not venture. So it all depends on the individual. How does staying with family make u decent?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You know this. Because I live alone, some friends would want me to night-crawl with them 24/7, and whenever I decline, they'd be like "You are boring, not like you got curfew or sth."
      There is absolutely nothing wrong with living alone.

      Delete
  14. I can't wait to move out of this house. Some men should receive sense please.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Poster, U should learn to be humble. If u give ur hubby ur virginity and nag him always. U won't hv a happy marriage.Some divorcee also married as a Virgin .So cool down with this ur yeye talk about the first man u will sleep with. It's totally unnecessary.

    ReplyDelete
  16. I almost thought I was the one who sent this until I read the working part. I got admission to school in another State, paid for hostel accommodation in 100 level but left the next semester due to hygiene issues. Just like you poster, I love the fact that I'm able to retire to my cubicle after a long, crazy day. That I live alone doesn't make me loose. People stay with their parents/relatives & still end up worse. It's really not that deep mehn...
    I love living alone; sometimes I think about my future husband knowing having to cohabit with another person will take some getting used to. Lol

    And yeah, I've met some primitive people who have issues with my living alone. Na them sabi

    ReplyDelete
  17. Guys like Don Mayor and Emperor Julius Ceaser will want a girl who lives with her parents, carries thread on her head and sweeps compound every morning. Men don't know what they want abeg. You want an independent woman yet u shy away from one who has her sh*t together. Na them sabi abeg.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. No mind them especially don mayor the oil guy

      Delete
    2. No you got it wrong!...
      Broke ass mayor wants a girl he will be leeching on!...
      A working class that will be giving him her salary cos dude is very lazy!...

      Lizzy berry,who dash broke ass mayor oil guy?...
      He is into yahoo and the thing no dey pay him...

      Delete
    3. Kakakakakakakaka queen no kee me with lafta...... He claim to be an oil guy.... I sabi am well but he doesn't know eeet.

      Delete
  18. Some people frown at single ladies staying alone especially my Igbo brothers

    To them a responsible lady should be at her parents place until she's married.

    Reason I can't move out
    Tried it twice cause of where I got a job sometime ago,but my mum literally called meeting on my head

    Everyone was just calling me upandan from the village saying I should not leave the house.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You are right and they frown at single girls that drives a car...
      Odiegwu!...

      Delete
    2. Stay there na.

      Delete
    3. Chi exotic...... U dey try oooh
      If u want invite your ancestors, nothing will stop me from leaving

      Delete
  19. Cupboard mentality. What a man should be after is a girl with values. So many people live with their parents but aren't any good. Mtcheeews!

    ReplyDelete
  20. i am single,i work and i stay alone in a city where my family lives just got tired of my dad policing me and treating me like a child,i got a job,he was not happy and he sent me out of his house and i moved out and i am happy and i am descent.....yaaaaaay glory to God lol

    ReplyDelete
  21. Dude is high on monkey tail.
    So a lady needs someone to keep tabs on her vagina for him, while he goes about devouring every chick out there?
    Such a fecking chauvinist.

    It takes a lot of maturity and independence to stay alone.
    She should better watch that guy, more rules are coming. Any day he is going for a meeting/trip he would bundle her to his mother's house...remember her vagina has to be monitored.

    See his head like komkom!

    Some Nigerian men would keep making rules aimed at oppressing women while massaging their ever dwindling egos.

    To think she is even reasoning the matter.

    A young man stays alone, and he is now a MAN. A young lady stays alone and she is irresponsible?
    Lol...just kill me. The young men that stay alone, I guess all the girls they lay with didn't come from their 'parents house'

    I'll rather be a water dispenser in my next life than be a Nigerian.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Lmao... U r a crazy person for this!! I'll rather be a water dispenser in my next life than be a Nigeria.. Very funny....
      IMO, staying alone breed independence on making decisions and proper documentation of money.... Cos u know u r by urself. U will want to make good use of ur money

      Delete
    2. Lmaoooo barbie!! Your comment just killed me. Water dispenser?? Kwakwakwakwa. True that! The girls they are fucking are they not coming from their parent's house?

      Delete
    3. Hahahahshahahahaha hahahahshahahahaha hahahahshahahahaha hahahahshahahahaha hahahahshahahahaha @ I'll rather be a water dispenser in my next life than be a Nigerian.

      Delete
    4. Lmao naija mentality is backward lol

      Delete
  22. I also don't see anything wrong with that, but you find out that some parent don't want their child to leave alone wch I don't like

    ReplyDelete
  23. Nothing wrong in a single lady living alone! I lived alone for many years, i did things on my own, i was very self disciplined with the fear of God though.
    95 percent of my girlfriends, were living with their parents; but what most of them indulged in was an eye-saw, there were others who lived with their parents that were veru decent too, but i must tell you this, most of my friends who were headstrong but lived in their parents homes got married before those of us who were living alone.

    A friend of mine had to moved back to her father's house in Asaba before her then fiance proposed (She wanted it too).

    So, is not a bad thing to live alone as a single lady, but you just have to be self-discipline and have the fear of God, because when you have the fear of God, you can not do some certain things that ladies with "i don't care spirit" does.
    People seems to have the perception that ladies who lives alone indulged in randy activities which is sometimes not far from the truth. But it depends on the individuals, situations can make some people live alone.

    It's some times a two-way things. We are Nigerians, there are still things one can't easily eradicate; like people's mindset about some certain issues.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you vry much @ mrs james. It's time smone started correcring mrs Romas' English and spelling. Wlh she writes vry bad English n to my suprise nobody has eva corrected her, she gives gud advice tho bt bad English

      Delete
    2. If u have to correct a persons written English,it doesn't hurt to be abit polite.

      Delete
  24. Who really care what they think, .do what makes you happy!

    ReplyDelete
  25. By the way poster, what were you doing in SnM? you are due to marry in few weeks.
    Women, we know how to cause future problem! To the best of my knowledge, SnM means singles that are ready to mingle. I have never opened that post because is not for me.
    I hope you don't cheat on your soon to be husband.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. @Mrs Roma.It seems she don't love the man very well. She is perhaps searching if she can meet a better man .

      Delete
    2. You don't expect her to put all her eggs in one basket!...

      Delete
    3. Didn't you read where she wrote she met the person during the first S and M? Do you know how long ago that is? Learn to read well before rushing to judge people. Shalom

      Delete
    4. First S n M she said. That was like 2 yrs ago.

      Delete
  26. I don't see a big deal in living alone.

    Tho some people see it as a big deal.

    Someone like me loves staying lone and I love my privacy.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. My dear privacy is key n bae.

      Delete
    2. Inukwa nkogheri. Come and flog me for living alone..
      Since I left secondary school, I have been living alone. All my uni days, alone and alone.. you see no privacy, if you can't respect me, respect "it".. and almost a decade after uni, I still find it hard to share my space. Some men are so insecure that it has become a way of life to them. Mtcheeeeeew!

      Delete
  27. True talk, https://konfam9ja.blogspot.com.ng/

    ReplyDelete
  28. Nigerians and their cave mentality.
    There is absolutely nothing wrong with a single lady living alone.
    In saner climes, you start living alone once you are 18.
    I still live with my family becos I don't have the wherewithal to get an apartment.as soon as I do, it's off I go!
    What really gets my goat is people insinuating that one is 'easy'cos you live alone..

    Bottom line, do what makes you happy, society be damned!

    ReplyDelete
  29. It's such a man that won't see anything wrong with his staying in his papa's house till he gets married. Even if am living in a city with relatives, I would rather stay on my own. If am working and paying my own bills, I don't see why I can't stay by myself. At d end of the day, it's about one's moral upbringing, values and principles that u live by. Decency isn't about living alone or with family but by living right.

    ReplyDelete
  30. To me been decent has nothing going to do with staying under your parents roof, infact I believe that if you are over 25 as a lady and you work n also have the means to be independent of your family you should move out of your parents house except, you enjoy staying at home.
    In modern countries at age 18 you should either move out or start paying rent to your parents. Either way if a man asks you to move back home before he can date you then he should move back to the cave he grew up in also...crazy men

    ReplyDelete
  31. I served in abuja, and the arrangement was to stay with my aunty, she dealt with me and told me plain that she will frustrate me and even kill me, had to run to a friend's house and quickly she turned me to her househelp. I had to beg my parents and they gave me money to rent my own apartment, and I lived alone for 3 years, even with the way the town is, I was never promiscuous which made my neighbors respect me alot.

    Staying alone doesn't make one a bad person neither does living with a relative helps one to be decent, it all depends on upbringing and most importantly your decision and self Prestige.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ur aunty is wicked, where do u stay in abuja

      Delete
  32. Nonsense and ingredients.

    ReplyDelete
  33. To the glory of God I have been living alone since I was in the uni. And since when I started working about to get married. I have lived alone and belive me my parents trust me die! One day I called my mum and she asked "where are u" and I replied and she ended saying "I trust u" when u train a child in the right way, she won't stray and for the fact that a child is under ur care does not mean she won't stray...

    ReplyDelete
  34. I stay alone free from my parents control, I do clubbing and partying as I like,i also do runs when I am broke "it's nobody biz"i like my freedom,though I am working bat atimes I sleep over with my married MD at his private guest house...life is so sweet.

    ReplyDelete
  35. That her boyfriend seriously has a very low mentality am so sorry to say. What if you don't have parents anymore or u don't stay in d same place where any of ur family members are,it shows that you aren't responsible? Can just imagine how myopic d guy is. Mtchewwww....
    For your information, there are still plenty of us ladies who stay alone and are very much responsible. Come to think of it,is it not u guys that spoil them ladies that stay alone? Whoever wants to get spoilt would b spoilt whether you r staying alone or not.
    That his guy should please go back to the village and stay.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. No mind dem. It's almost always the first thing these fuck boys ask & Once they hear that u live alone, next thing is they try to invite themselves to your place. I have been living alone for almost a year in Abuja & I don't ever tell anyone that I do.

      Delete
    2. Exactly. I remember a time my friend told me to stop telling guys I live alone, that it makes men not to take me Serious & I'm like warahell mehn? Am I supposed to live my life to suit the dictates of a mere mortal like me?
      Well, long story short, we ain't that close no more. Lol

      Delete
  36. So if the woman is an ophan and have no siblings and distant relative refuse to take her in ,she should do what? Nigerians need total cleansing .Sometimes a woman is even more disciplined when she lives alone .

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. In the scenario she has...stop killing her parents so she can fuck anyhow...hypocrites naija girls..now all of them dey fum holy... Any guy that believes 90% of I live alone & am decent story here is a dullard

      Delete
  37. I love staying alone. I love my peace and quiet. It even makes me more responsible cos I wudnt like to do what my mum wudnt be happy t hear about. If u have the money and u feel like staying alone, kindly stay alone.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Abi o. See the way I'm trolling this post.
      Never read anything so relatable to me like this. Lol

      Delete
  38. Hmmmmm it depends on the situation, I for one live with my mom and truth is I don't like it as i don't have my space to do what I want to do like walk around the house naked, watch pornographic movies and stuffs like that but I feel its safer that way coz hmmmmm temption plenty for the outside world.plus I have learnt to be disciplined, my curfew time is 9pm even as an adult and I have never spent the night outside my mama's house unless i travel out.Can't imagine wetin I for do if I lived alone. Coz nna mhen na roof top I for dey hang legs be that.
    Bottom line is it doesn't stop a girl from being bad but reduces the level of atrocities that could have been committed.
    My mama will die of heart attack if she knows her baby na leg hanger according to Sandra the birthday girl lols.
    She kinda feels I no sabi anything hahahaha she no no say I be Prof sef. I just dey look her with side eyes these days.






    *hangs leg on the cupboard*







    *hangs leg in the cupboard*

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You see the irony in this whole thing? You live with mum and Still a leg hanger and tap user, that's why we think men who reason like the poster above are slow and primitive.
      And no, you aren't disciplined, cos if you were, you'd b able to hold your shit together, living alone or not.

      Delete
    2. Quicksilver you think I ain't disciplined coz I hang my leg always? hahhahahaahahahahahaha chisos chai!!! babe you need serious laying of hands by pastor Chris. Kwakwakwakwkakw can't stop laughing.







      *hangs leg on the cupboard*

      Delete
    3. Chai! Steph read again na. Maybe I didn't explain properly or you misunderstood me. Either ways, I'm too exhausted to type to your understanding, and no, I do not think you are not disciplined because you hang your legs.

      Delete
  39. If you are below 30 and living in the same city as your parents, then there is no need for you renting a place. Unless. If you're really uncomfortable staying with your family. Truth be told, no matter how wild you're. There are Some things you wouldn't do in front of your parents.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. & no matter how decent you are there things u do when u av freedom

      Delete
  40. There's absolutely nothing wrong in living alone. i lived alone till i got married 2 my bae (he agreed to me staying alone too). i accepted staying with a relative and needed my own private space.

    People talk but tend not to listen to them

    ReplyDelete
  41. I have been staying alone for the past 10 years. 5years Uni days, 1year NYSC days, 4years of work till date. I am not a saint and yet, am way far better than some girls who lives/lived under their parents roof. The point is, it has both advantages and disadvantages, but that should not be a yardstick of determining how decent/indecent a lady is. Ordinarily, things you would want to do under your parents roof will not attract you when you live alone. Its a pure psychology..........when u are contained, you want to be free and explore, but when you are free to do whatever, you'll find yourself asking questions like 'what if I do it and so so and so happen?,why do I need to do this and that? etc.

    ReplyDelete
  42. Mchewwwww what a stupid and dumb mentality.I stay aline and guess what? I don't even want any dumb fool to think I am decent I care less about anyone's opinion about me .

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. My sister. Who gives a frigging frack what these men think?

      Delete
  43. Staying alone makes u an ASHAWo!
    Period*

    ReplyDelete
  44. Nigerians will never grow because of this stupid old fashioned life style .... What's the big deal of living alone when you're an adult and can pay your bills? A 35yrs old staying with his or her parents is an abormination . Don't you have progress in your life ? It's just like saying you can't buy a car because you're single . Suffer will kill you in buses and hot sun. Backwardness is a disease

    ReplyDelete
  45. Wat ppl do not get about this post is that nobody is saying every lady dat stays alone is bad or promiscuos, bt she is more vulnerable and more exposed to being bad. Chances are higher wen she stays alone dat smtimes she won't even sleep in her house, she'd sleep @ her boyfriend's, she'd hav everyman she is dating come over her place n most times it always ends up in sex, her boyfrnd comes over n smtimes rapes her. Which u'd agree wt me deep dwn dat dia r things dat u wud nt dare do wen u r living in ur parent's house. D security sef u get n everything is beyond measure. N hey b4 u come 4 my head rememba dis z my opinion, nt urs. And 4 those of u saying over there is normal, dnt 4get we r Africans we still hav some moral values, we r nt d whites.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Africans and our way of thinking lol.. either u stay alone or not doesn't guarantee anything

      Delete
    2. What if armed robbers come to her parents house to rape her?

      Delete
    3. What have we as Africans achieved better than d white with all our morals? Africans are backward nd too religious,yet d country isn't growing,even d whites that brought religion to practice it like us and they are developed..better grow up nd stop been backward

      Delete
  46. Such an old fashioned mentality. .Ok what if she is as old as 35 years,single and living with her parents??? I'm sure people will still criticize. . Abeg some people are happier alone..

    ReplyDelete
  47. Thanks Mrs. James for the correction. (autocorrect problems)

    @anonymous 13:50, yes, i'm perfect in my English writing skills but that doesn't makes me unintelligent.
    When you can speaks/understands and even write 9 different languages (4 Nigerian dialects, 4 international languages excluding English language) then you can come and be correcting or abusing yourself, till then though, let me be.

    I hope is Your perfect English that's putting food on your table.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. @mrs romas , i am d anno. I neva insulted or abused u. I jst sed i keep wonderin y nobody corrects u. If wat u wrote up there again looks like perfect English language to u, den pls go n sue ur principal. Pls stick to ur local dialect i beg u. Again abt ur askin if it puts food on my table. Oh yes it does, i am a lawyer working wt one of d fed govt MDAs, so u c, it does coz if i was speaking or writing like you, aswear nobody would employ me.

      Delete
    2. Lawyer charge and bail, goan sit down.

      Delete
  48. You dis Ideato, you're becoming a nuisance on dis blog o.

    ReplyDelete
  49. All that 'a decent man can not marry a woman who lives alone' is absolute nonsense. Who even thinks up such things? When I got a job in a different state, even though I had relatives who lived in that same town, my parents advised that I stay alone to avoid family drama. In any case, I had been on my own during my years of undergrad and post grad, all outside the country so I honestly didn't mind. I only stayed with my parents during holidays and after nysc, and while job-hunting. I'm used to being 'caged' at home, so I carried that mentality of enjoying my own company so long as I have dstv, internet and good food, with the occasional outings with friends. My apartment was very cosy so I enjoyed being indoors.

    Well that didn't deter me from meeting good guys. I never met a potential suitor who voiced such concerns, in fact, sometimes I wished I did to give them a piece of my mind. Where do some ladies meet such myopic men who are even bold enough to voice their stupid thoughts?

    Infact, I hardly had male visitors; just females and my nuclear family members who came around for one thing or the other. One time, a male friend commented on how well I maintained my flat. Every appliance, serviced and working, bills paid, tiled floor swept and mopped, everywhere arranged, with the smell of rice and chicken wafting from the kitchen. (Lmao, who no like better thing??) I was so particular about him taking off his shoes at the door and all that.

    Hubby met me while I lived alone and that gave us time to talk well, hang out and get to know ourselves better, without the interference of Aunties or Uncles who allow their children to be as wild as they want while they restrict their well-behaved nieces/nephews unnecessarily.

    Living alone before marriage is the bomb. I advise that for every single lady who wants to discover herself in her element and enjoy her freedom to develop herself since she kind of owns her time. Ladies who are spoilt while living with their parents would also be spoilt while living alone so that shouldn't even be a point. Some ladies who live with their parents can't even keep a home, because mummy or the househelp does the market runs, cooking and cleaning. Then when some of them get married, they find it difficult to cope.

    ReplyDelete
  50. Abeg, staying in a house with 7 siblings and your parents in a 3 bedroom apartment can be so faustrating. . Sometimes you just need your sanity... #teamstayingalone

    ReplyDelete
  51. There is nothing wrong for a single lady to stay alone.
    I have been staying alone since 2006 (Uni days) till date. my parents trust me and believe in me. I also have limits to what i can do not because of anyone but because i have a focused mind (Knowing what i need and what i don't need). most times i don't tell people i live alone simply because i don't want visitors. i love my space and don't joke with my study period or resting moments. staying alone has prepared me for a greater responsibility. (not easy tho)
    Most guys get intimated the moment they visit you and realize all you have accomplished without them but a real man will appreciate you knowing fully well that together you can build an empire. i am in my own world and i make my apartment very comfortable. A naughty child will always be naughty even if you assign a body guard to her.

    ReplyDelete
  52. I was staying with my older brother and his wife when i came to Lagos newly but his wife started acting up and later my bro joined in, to the extent that anytime am coming back from work I will be scared, because for no reason or flimsy reasons my bro will shout at me so much i will start crying. I started planning to move out and rented an apartment, the day i told him i was moving he just said ok. and that was it. I am still decent.

    ReplyDelete
  53. I love my privacy
    Any man that reasons like that has complex issues
    I don't care whatever any body thinks
    Am living alone and am enjoying it
    Don't give a fucking damn

    ReplyDelete
  54. that's just a wack mindset. we stay in Lagos and my sis works in Lagos but she doesn't live with us cos of the distance to work. we stay at isefun in ayobo and my sis works in lekki, it was hell leaving the house every morning from Monday to Saturday and sometimes Sundays and get home by 11:30pm -12am cos of the distance and traffic. she wakes 3am and leaves by5am for work. it was crazy. so it was only logical that she gets a place close to where she works. so any man that has a problem with that should take several seats behind. what nonsense mentality!
    if I get to work in a city where my family lives and the distance is too far from where I work, I would get a place of my won close to work.

    ReplyDelete
  55. @Anonymous 15:40, keep speaking your perfect English.
    I meant to say, i know my English writing skills is not perfect. Now go back to your cage.

    ReplyDelete
  56. There is this girl i know,she is staying with her elder sister and she dare not sleep outside, but this girl na afternoon prostitute.What am i saying? staying alone or not,person wey wan spoil go spoil.There is nothing wrong for a lady to stay alone

    ReplyDelete
  57. Just that the bad ones that stays alone wanna spoil the good girls show.

    ReplyDelete

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