Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: My Divorce Story - 6

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Wednesday, February 01, 2017

My Divorce Story - 6

WOW,this is a pre-divorce story according to the poster who believes that by Weekend,she would be free...Please read this hocking story.




Here goes my story:
December last year, after christmas, I and my kids went to visit my mil, while driving in, we saw mil and few other people sitting by her garden, so I stopped and allowed the kids alight while I went in to park. when i went outside to greet mil and others there, after greeting mil, i greeted bil then the others there. my mil turned, looked at me scornfully. that i didn't greet her first son 'well'. i tried to explain to her that i greeted him well when she wasn't concentrating, but she didn't answer me. after that, she called my hubby to warn me.


the next day, i heard she told all her children to cut off from me, but the first daughter refused, she called me and apologized for what her people have being doing to me, i told her thanks and expressed my appreciation. mil is still having grudges with me, she doesn't pick my calls, even when i went there on 1st Jan. she insulted and drove me out of her house, that she'll never forgive me unless i go and knee down before her son and apologize, but my hubby forbid me from doing so. hubby said his elder brother is wicked and behaves childishly.

two days ago, i bumped into one of mil's followers, who told me mil's plan to come this weekend to disgrace me out of my hubby's house. the only challenge i may have is paying of school fees, cos i earn as little as N50,000 monthly with 3 kids, but i believe God will see me through cos it's not going to be the end of my life. God will help me, i'll build more on my career and love my kids the more and change their school to where i can afford. 


I have picked some of my important things, my credentials and taken them to my sister's house for keeps just in case i'm taken unawares; they may come before the proposed weekend. it's going to be a happy time for me when i finally leave this thing called marriage. i'm happy cos i've being looking for an easy way of leaving the marriage. my horseband is an abuser, he beats me at will and makes me regret coming to life. bvs, before you cuss me. i know there are some bvs who would quote bible for me to tell me the foolish woman brings down her home, before you do that, read my chronicle that was posted mid 2016. 

 Stelz titled it "married to a serial abuser and shielded by his mum"



Madam Stelz, don't you think you should open a chronicle of domestic violence? it's not going to be an avenue for people to cuss and laugh at people. women are mostly the victims of DV. victims would share their experiences; it is 1 out of 20 victims that boldly come out to call out their abusers. single and about to marry would learn from it, by doing this, in the nearest future, cases of dv would be reduced.


lessons learnt

abusers never change. it's a case of once a soldier, always a soldier.


advice


there are always signs of an abuser when you are dating. if your bf or fiance slaps you while dating, he will do x 100 of that when you' dont take to your hills, if your shoes aren't making you run fast, remove it so you can fly out fast.


Thanks, madam Stelz.


*NA WAH OH:::What do i say?


117 comments:

  1. What a family with just one sane sister. It is well poster.

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    1. God bless that sister. God won't use her abusive male siblings to judge her o. Irony is that usually it's the women that fuels the fire in abusive homes. Thank God sister didn't join the mother in law. See why some people pray that their mil dies b4 they marry? LOL. Winches raising demon sons.

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    2. I disagree with that statement made that abusers don't change...they do my darling. They do! With love, therapy, counselling and above all God Almighty they change. I sent in my chronicle 3+ years ago and sent him the link...infact it's a long complicated winding story... Hopefully will send in my chronicle of hope soon.but as long as the abuser wants to change, he can change. Nothing is impossible with God. Refuse to be part of statistics/rule but an exception to the rule.

      It is well

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    3. Mothers train your sons.

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  2. Quite sad, however poster, try and elaborate next time. The part about the in- laws are quite confusing. She just hates u from the blues???????

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    1. She had previously sent a chronicle to stella on the history of the hatred.what else do you want her to elaborate on?

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  3. Na wa. From your 'tone' you have resigned to whatever is about to come. I only wish you the strength to move forward and never look back

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  4. hmmmmmmm na wa. What did you do to MIL that hates you so much. Sorry for what you are going through and may God Almighty fix you up Amen.

    Too many pains people are passing through. kai i cant deal.

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  5. Why don't you leave before they come and disgrace you? Why should you suffer like this all in the name of marriage. Even your in laws are worse than your hubby so no one to complain to. Oga ooii

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  6. That's too bad. Get a lawyer incase they plan taking your kids

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    1. Exactly get a lawyer down. I have a feeling they might want to take the kids.

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  7. May God see you through and grant you everlasting happiness.

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  8. Hmmmmm ... God help me out even though am yet to marry... I pray not to miss my own

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  9. From what I understand, U've been looking for a way out and they gave it to you on a platter of gold, issorait, I pray everything works together for your good.

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    1. Come take this high five for this comment.

      Dear poster," come to me all you that are burdened and heavy laden and I will give you rest".
      If somebody told you they were coming over the weekend to kill you wherever you might be,won't you defend your life? Likewise defend the sacred bond you entered into before God. If you man did not support his brother,it means we are dealing with a good man but with little effort we can get him to the right person.
      Dear,no man is perfect. It is always greener on the other side. The decision is yours,but I can tell you that there is always regret whenever we did not do our best.
      No one will pay your children fees but you,you can get one or the persons that will promise you one year or two years but not forever,so forget that idea............
      Don't take away your children's right to their father when there is still a way out.



      This is not a divorce chronicle but the story of a woman who wants to taste freedom. Who feels it is greener on the other side.

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  10. Wait ooo mil coming to drive you out na plan work with your hubby? Abi na only her dey come. If na only her make sure you beat her very well. Biko i won't advice you to live with someone that can kill you one day. Just look for a cheaper or government school for your kids, and at your spare time be their lesson teacher, na God dey give brain and wisdom no be school, pray also. I wish you well

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  11. Na wa o. Your husband is abusing you, you shouldn't be waiting for your in-laws to throw your things out. The Lord shall be your strength and provide for you

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  12. If you're married legally,pursuing you out of the house does not mean you are free( you still have to file for divorce which is another Kong war),not even customarily unless there was no bride price paid and there was no legal binding.

    So after sending your chronicle, you still stayed put until them wan use their hand pursue u last last? What if they don't? I guess you'll still stay put bearing Mrs? Abeg Stella this one nor follow. I don't see where your advice is coming from since you're still in the marriage waiting to even be thrown out and you're not even divorced yet.

    So far I've read divorced stories of really strong woman. Dunno what to say about this.😕

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  13. Poor girl, you will be fine, you hear? I like your mindset; picking up yourself, head up, catwalk. You are a beautiful and strong woman. Give thanks to God for giving you kids. Love them, love thyself. Be safe for you and your little ones. That marriage crashing is not & will never be the end of your world.
    Blessings to you.

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  14. I can't stress enough the importance of marrying into a good family. It seems your MIL is a vindictive witch, and she didn't train her sons well. Why marry into a family where they don't like you? So what if they don't come and disgrace you out as planned? Will you still stay? Please start planning now so you can leave this marriage... on your own terms and not being pushed out and accused of all sorts.

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    1. They don't even like each other! Singles, learn very well. Look beyond the man you are to marry, look at his family more, their shared values, their relationship with each other and outsiders. If these things aren't right, you are walking into a volcano. God help you. And help us women from other psycho women.

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  15. Stella don't say anything, repost her original chronicle! Sharp sharply! God liberate all women, and men, going through DV, be it physical, emotional/psychological, verbal, sexual or even financial.

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    Replies
    1. Hahahhahaha
      Boo! Boo pls which one is financial abuse again?😂

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  16. Replies
    1. But the divorce hasn't happened yet na

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    2. Exactly fab mum but I think the poster is already tired and sees MIL visit as her dream come through...

      If only her husband is void I would have advised her to high for her home I mean no MIL has any right to chase me out of my home..

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  17. please SDK or a nice BV, post a link of the poster's last story...and Poster, the Lord will take care of you and your kids...hang in there...

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  18. please SDK or a nice BV, post a link of the poster's last story...and Poster, the Lord will take care of you and your kids...hang in there...

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  19. Marriage; An institution many are earnestly praying to God to pick their call while many of those in it are earnestly praying to leave, marriage is a journey where some reach their bus stop before n some don't until death do them apart. Let's always praying for the best, may Almighty God assists us in our journey.

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  20. My mouth wide open ,this is not about your mother inlaw this is about your husband ,so if your mother inlaw did not show up this weekend ,you will still remain with the abusive man abi ,na question i ask ?

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    1. You know it's always easy to tell an abused wife to leave. Let's be honest with 3 kids? Yes, it's dangerous if she stays, she could die. But where would she go with 3 kids, salary of 50k per month, under this recession? I'm not saying she shouldnt leave. By all means, she should but there has to be a be some sort of help to go with that. A place that would provide temporary shelter and support for the struggling family until they can at least be on their feet. A serious support system to provide economic, mental and legal help. Just saying!

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    2. Babe it's not easy...we are all quick to judge but if you are in her shoes and you weigh it well it's not an easy choice to make. If it's just her then feel free to judge but with 3kids & 50k salary...feeding, accommodation, medicals, schooling etc then you will understand what it means.
      Madam poster...if they come, leave quietly & don't even provoke them make them no injure you. Make sure your kids are far away from the house that day cos they might prevent you from leaving with them. Send them away codedly and go meet them. I pray for a better job for you. If you stay in lagos and can drive with a valid drivers license, I hear lamata is looking for female drivers and their salary is much better than that 50k plus you are working with the govt...he dare not do anyhow na to report to the state sharperly.

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  21. This is serious jesus pls fix it

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  22. Why wait for ur mil to drive u out from a loveless home,what of her follower is lying to u?

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  23. This write up can give someone glaucoma just by reading.
    Very immature in composition and reasoning.
    And is she married to her mother-in law?
    She started the story and ended it with her mother in law and only added domestic violence from her partner to justify her planned actions.
    She gave herself away when she said she'd been looking for a way out of the marriage/already moved valuables to her sister's.
    I don't support domestic violence at all but this story get as e be.
    Stella, we know you are looking for things to publish but abeg don't insult our sensibilities with such.

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    Replies
    1. anonymous gangster1 February 2017 at 14:52

      Your sensibility is insensitive. At best the story isn't complete, Stella should have included a link to her initial chronicle. If you have a sibling or loved one going through this what would you say? Lets be nice small nah!

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    2. Mrs sensitive ganster kindly write your own observation as I've written mine and walk. As you can see I didn't write under any person's comment so keep your 'sensitively sensible' niceness to your self.
      The world is free and so is opinion. And last I checked Stella is very good at answering for herself.

      Cheers.

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  24. Lmao, you are not yet divorced but you sent in a chronicle? are you in such a hurry? What if your MIL dies tomorrow or next? What if your husband doesn't allow you to go and beg you to stay? There are many what if.....

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  25. Many people don't know wat been abused in a marriage is,at least u have kids,I came out empty... Financially, emotionally, physically and spiritually.... Not easy especially with how judgemental people r

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    1. Maybe you're better off not having kids for the abuser. God will perfect your life for you. You dodged that bullet completely as many are stuck with co-parenting with complete idiots and wicked souls.

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    2. My dear it's well with you. I believe God has better plans in store for you

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    3. If u have a child for an abuser, that child will forever be a reminder of that experience in your life. I wonder how you women reason at times sha.

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  26. Eya, what women go tru? pls make sure he gives you money for your children's upkeep.

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  27. Save for his previous record of abusing you, his mum isn't enough reason for you to leave your marriage, especially cow he is on your side. You sha wear the shoes, you know where it hurts... Good luck Mam.

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    1. Lol. Izz like you're not understanding. The husband isn't on her side oo. He probably just has beef with his brother.

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  28. I don't understand, same man protecting you from his mother's & brother's excesses is the same man abusing you? You said SDK titled it "Serial Abuser Shielded by His Mom"? His mom is shielding his abuses on you & at same time shielding you from her? I'm lost oh...or maybe i didn't read it well or you didn't explain well

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    1. What's so hard to get? When it's BTW her and son, mil backs son. When it's about her favorite son, mil is against anyone including abusive husband. The family is bat shit crazy!

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    2. Not only you
      Me too i'm wondering

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  29. Fabricated story....go and sit down jooor. Hiss outta post

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  30. Confused woman. Marriage is not meant for everybody. As e no favour you, waka. Don't come here soliciting for donations, sympathizers and accomplises indirectly. Thank you.

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    Replies
    1. You know that's the exact situation many women will be when they are divorced unless women start to take charge of their lives before marriage and never let marriage stop them. But for now, if we claim to care and protect our sisters, daughters, we have to get them the help they need.

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    2. As marriage is not meant for every woman, so is earning an income! Rubbish!

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  31. If they come gladly leave and follow it up with a proper divorce in court.. so that he can pay you alimony.... His mother is cray cray

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  32. Your marriage can be saved when you take it to the Lord in prayer. Talk to your hubby abt their plan and listen to him. Goodluck

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  33. Does your husband support your mil; this doesn't seem to be the case, so why the "rush out?"
    Or the story isn't complete; there's another man to hook up to?

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  34. HMM DEEP SHIT RIGHT THERE,MAY GOD HELP YOU AND YOUR KIDS,I HAVE SAID IT BEFORE,LORD IF I CAN BE HAPPY AS A SINGLE GIRL AND BE SAD AS A MARRIED WOMAN,I BETTER REMAIN SINGLE MBOK...MY HAPPINESS MEANS SO MUCH TO ME.

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  35. Hmmmm, this story get as e be. Well poster, if u feel u can't stay in the marriage again, I wish u luck.

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  36. When you say folks should not quote scriptures; what do you want them to quote?
    Isn't God's word the manual of life?
    Of course you will not tell us your role in destroying your home; will you?

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    Replies
    1. Why not wait until you actually find her own fault before you crucify her? An accursed mouth will eventually rot out. Give yourself brain.

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  37. Poster on the issue at hand, your hubby is supporting you. What if your hubby is changed for good? Being an abuser is just like being a thief right? They are all habits and I believe people change for good. Why don't you chill a little while and flee if he goes on to abuse you again? I know money is constraint for many women abused, turns out nobody shows up for them when needs arise. How about you leave his kids with him for now, reassuring them you are going to sort out a place for them first so when you come back and should your hubby or his folks want to deprive you of them, the kids can be on your side. You'd have a good case in court. It won't be easy to hustle with 3 kids and sooner or later their dad will still have equal right on them. Whatever you decide, I pray it brings you peace and happiness

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    1. Leaving kids behind is very bad idea. I need not say more on that.

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    2. Is having to drag innocent kids into crashing at any relatives or friends place a better choice? Depriving the kids of a stable accommodation, school, meals etc is what to you? Or having your kids witness how folks will humiliate you when your kids are feeling free and behaving like the kids they are? That's how many of you will be using your kids as wrapper to claim mothers love and yet subject them to bigger psychological problems. Leave his kids with him, it's going to be for awhile while you sort yourself out, it is safer for them. Whether you take them now or later, he is still going to claim their paternity anyways

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  38. who is your mother-in-law? lets use social media to help you with your kids

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    1. Abi o. Start shaming these horrible women who hide under the guise of in law and destroy other women. We need to educate those who feel it is their destiny to ruin others.

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  39. Honestly this story nr gather, e get as e be.

    Please send in a more detailed story, to enable us understand where, how and when it all started.

    God bless all Women in marriage.

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    Replies
    1. And those not in marriage. Amen.

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  40. Madam your story is somehow. Why didn't you post the link to your chronicles like the others?
    I wonder the kind of attitude you have that made your mil to hate you and your hubby to be beating you. From your write-up, your attitude is somehow. Why did you argue with the old woman when she said you didn't greet her first son well?
    As a good woman, you shouldn't have argued with her, you should have gone back and greeted the man again when the woman complained instead of stubbornly arguing. That would have prevented all these. Kneeling down and Greeting somebody does not reduce who you are especially in this case where the man is your husband's elder brother. Women of nowadays are just pathetic.

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    1. Faithful woman, all na turn by tuuuuuuurn.

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    2. Faithful woman, all na turn by tuuuuuuurn.

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    3. Madam! so every time she sees her husband's brother she should be kneeling down to greet him. Please what you cant do for your Elder brother in your house don't do for any One especially in the case of marriage.

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    4. Faithful woman just shut up. Why would the mil pick offense at such irrelevant nonsense?

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    5. Faithful woman you are a goat! You are the reason some women will not speak out. Knee down to get him because he is God. It is that tribe with their over sabi fake respect. Rubbish!

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  41. You sent in your chronicles last year, you didn't leave but stayed now you're waiting to be disgraced and shamed, probably beaten and all these will be in front of your children. To what end?? Please leave now, file for divorce and sole custody of your children. God be with you. This too shall pass.

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  42. Go and kneel down and beg your mother in law and elder brother. Babe forget why your husband said about not apologising. If ypu leave with a dime, you will.suffer more. You need vex money put aside before you leave a marriage.
    Since your husband is controlled by his mum, go and beg her o. Deceive them that you as a fool. Get some money aside , enough to rent a place and start a biz. Become a mumu from until you gather enough cash to flee. If you flee without a dime, you will come back.to beg.
    Don't say I didn't warn u

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    Replies
    1. @Happyheart, beg fellow humans because they are God? Fuck them all!

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  43. Madam, why the DV and hatred from in-laws? Are you the only woman married into the family? How do they treat the other ladies? Why does your husband abuse you? Are you not likely to have a bad character or sharp tongue? You earn 50k and drive a car... So, I assume he bought you the car. Bad man, right? Your Miss Independent attitude and pride may be among the reasons for your woes. My sister in law is like you. She's the only problematic wife / person in my family. Yet, she thinks we all are against her whereas her pride, insolence, disrespect for in-laws, laziness etc are among her problems. Women always playing the victim game. Women always paint themselves good. Give your man / in-laws a chance to tell us about you and we'll open or mouths wide in shock. Please, park well járé and rid the family of your nonsensical attitude. Good riddance to a bad woman's attitude!

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    Replies
    1. When your in law is a problem to you tells too much about you.

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    2. Great your sister in law like your own sister and watch her change Madam.

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    3. Anon! Nothing justifies the maltreatment she's recieving. If she's not doing things well, they can correct her instead of abuse her

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    4. As for me, i pity the future wives of my sil sons, because she will want them to worship the ground she walks on!

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  44. Your story doesn't sound complete,where you tired of writting when putting this up, if yes you should have create a better time so we could get your message so clear.

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  45. I don't obey all of my hubby's commands especially the ones that can jeopardize the unity of the family. For instance, if he tells me not to greet a member of his family anymore because of one reason or the other, I will tell him ok. But will still be greeting the person secretly on the phone. A good wife is supposed to unite the family and not the other way round.

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    Replies
    1. Of course, you will not obey him on that, but all this talk about good wife, Forget it! If he wants to marry wife #2, his family will not look your face! And they will always support their brother over you!

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  46. Thank you @anon 12.54 and bootylicious diva . Well said

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  47. Someone got 130k from this dv chronicles what do you think the rest will do ?! Abeg park well . Imagine birthing three kids for an a abusive husband. Hiaaaaaaannnnnn.

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  48. #The quality of your life, is most often a reflection of the quality of your reaction to the circumstances that arrive in your life*

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  49. this is the link of that chronicle

    http://www.stelladimokokorkus.com/2016/07/chronicle-of-blog-visitor-narrative_31.html

    choi may The lord see you thru.

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  50. Your lesson learnt and advice is on point. I just spoke to a client this afternoon, women go through hell in the name of marriage. This my client told me that her sister's boyfriend poured acid on her which resulted to her death and her parents said nothing except "God will judge" and collected money from the guy's family. She said she has been enduring in the marriage because her mother kept telling her to manage but she thought about it and decided to liberate herself.The man abused her so many times that I was surprised she didn't die even the doctor was advicing her to endure (I guess so that he can be getting small money). Imagine that he knows she has ovarian cyst,he wanted to hit her yesterday and saw no other place but that particular side of her tummy to hit,he did it so hard that she still feels pain and she bled. Why will people tell someone to manage and pray for her husband? Who prays for the wife? Even if you don't want to divorce please stay away from that man before he kills you and suffer your children

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    Replies
    1. Are your clients case not confidential barrister?

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  51. Na wa ooooh madam mbok I will join my faith with yours so that the divorce pulls tru. Abeg I can't begin to imagine the trauma. Leave before you are poison.
    Women go tru a lot of shity experience all in the name of marriage.

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    Replies
    1. Leave and become your father's 3rd wife abi

      Delete
  52. This is her chronicle from last year

    http://www.stelladimokokorkus.com/2016/07/chronicle-of-blog-visitor-narrative_31.html

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    Replies
    1. Jobless you

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    2. Thank you for the link Sylvia.
      I went to read it. He beat you because you stained his precious mother's bed with blood? Too big and rich to come to her son's house for omugwo? ORIEGWU! She is a sacred cow? Poster, if she is coming to throw your things out this weekend, she will not let you take your children. Where will you go as an orphan?

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  53. Family from hell abeg poster pick up your shoes and run don't even wait for mother in law. I was once a single mother before I got married it is not easy with 3 kids but God is your strength. Call upon him and he will answer.

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    Replies
    1. Clap for yourself...inugo! You carry your own liability & place it on someone else but you're advising a mother & wife whose story is full of loopholes to leave her marriage & carter for 3 kids how? Some of y'all women are end time advisers for real...not even to pray about it or find a way to resolve, na to leave be ultimate. You try well well, Aunty Gwegz Special

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  54. Found the link to the Chronicle below.

    http://www.stelladimokokorkus.com/2016/07/chronicle-of-blog-visitor-narrative_31.html

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  55. Is this a part 2 to an already existing story here?
    Details are too sketchy.
    I am yet to understand the reason for divorce.

    If your reason is mostly based on the fact that your MIL and members of the family don't like you, why don't you ask your self why that is?
    Why don't you go to your MIL to have a heart to heart talk, asking where you've gone wrong and apologising?

    Oh well, like I said, details are quite sketchy. I am yet to see the reason for divorce.

    Is there more to what you wrote up there? Is your husband beating you?
    Arghhh! Mehnn...All the best.

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  56. It is well with you is all i can say...

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  57. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  58. A man should leave his mother and father and cleave to his wife. he should love her to the extent that he is willing to lay down his life for her. A husband that is like this will have a happy home. no sane woman will want to divorce a truly loving man. if a woman says she is tired n wants divorce, we should listen to her without making rapid assumptions that she doesn't know what is good for her. Even fathers now tell their daughters to know their worth and not loose their self esteem for sake of any man( husband or boyfriend). I don't believe that there is any glory or future great reward in suffering under an abusive partner.

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  59. It's very sad that no matter what women go through, people find a way to blame them and use the bible to manipulate them into staying on. When she dies now, same people will judge her for staying and call her desperate or an adulterer. Very sad. May we stop worshipping marriage in Nigeria. Amen

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  60. POster I noticed u care somuch about every little thing your husband's people do. If your hubby defends u b4 his pple means he is a good man who needs ur prayers. U want to be free. Madam I ve seen your case b4 BT I jst want u to know it's not ur right to fix a man but his maker. It's your home, you ve gotta fight for it, you've gotta work for it, you've gotta work on yourself. Pray for your husband, he maybe fighting battles you don't know and you didn't tell us abt your attitude. Most women run their mouth somuch and sometimes are the cause while their hubby change. You may feel you are a saint but you may be getting it all wrong. Get books abt marriage from successful married women, be more committed to God. Be a praying woman. My mum complained for years as long as I grew up, until I became a woman and adult, I learnt great about marriage and helped her fight, gain love and respect from dad and today they are bubbling. Stop fighting the wrong battle or try to run from what is yours and where you belong.

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  61. I just read her chronicles. I was surprised that the same horrible abusive MIL advocates for women in public. Funny enough the evil spirit woman who destroyed the relationship between me and her brother also advocates publicly for women. E be like say na mental problem pple like them get o, abi wetin we go call am? "Were alaso" and she get money too, at least her husband get money and she dey use am control the whole of her family including her spineless brother. Good riddance to bad rubish.

    I once knew a woman whose MIL was educated and she would complain how terrible she was. I asked her how an educated woman would be acting like that and she swore the uneducated MILs are a thousand times better than the educated ones because the educated ones can barely see anything good in you. They think everything is competition. Women! Na wa for una o. Na u dey do yourselves. Throw yansh for una sef.

    Poster, God help you and your children because it's only God who can perfect things. Take that leap of faith. The earlier you walk away from a bad sitaution, the quicker you rid yourself of it and becomes history. God be with you.

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