Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Saturday In House Gists -Original Freestyle.

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Saturday, February 25, 2017

Saturday In House Gists -Original Freestyle.

Can you make us Laugh?



Today will only be for original Jokes oooooh..Una too copy.
You can post original Joke from anyone on this blog but you wil share the winning prize with the person if the Joke wins what I have to give...

I will no longer be announcing what is at stake for personal reasons..I am not a show off person,I would rather people assume I dont give than try to prove a point...From now on I stick to the real me who is spontaneous.

So make us laugh and I will make you smile in Jesus name..AMEN!.....Laughing my ass out!


So,I am ready to laugh...




78 comments:

  1. Am not good at jokes but love the prize that goes with it.

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  2. Oya let us laugh πŸ˜ƒπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

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  3. Original freestyle !

    Issacson ? Miss aboki ? Chi exotica ? Any ori for we ?
    πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚
    I wanna laugh like that man up there

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    Replies
    1. Lol
      Me am busy with chores oh
      Original freestyle asin any joke to make one laugh abi?

      OK my little sister always does contrary to what I tell her
      But when you're talking to her eh, she will sit down and put both her hands in between her laps and you would think she's paying attention, but all na wash

      She will be nodding and saying ma'am whatever you say I will do

      On Thursday that they were on mid term break, I took all the lighters in the house and put them in my bag as I was going out, but immediately I left she started looking for lighters saying she wants to make noodles for herself
      Shey 8yrs old girl sabi cook ni?


      The one that's 11 told me she kept telling her to stay calm and not scatter the house, but she still went inside my room,brought out my makeup purse and used my Ben nye setting powder as moju on her face As God would have it,she slept off in my room.

      When I got home I went inside my room and said yes this is evidence 1.
      I woke her up and said, I asked you to be calm didn't i?
      She looked at me and said I was quiet ma'am
      I gave her a mirror to look at her face and she just burst into tears saying she was sleeping and didn't know who rubbed chalk on her face

      I just couldn't stop laughing eh
      I carried her inside the bathroom and cleaned her up.
      And then she looked at me and said yes I used your powder and also wore your clothes

      Are you going to beat me? I said No and she smiled and gave me a kiss.

      Beloved, is my joke funny? let me rush back to doing my chores
      Catch ya later.

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    2. My own is #original oh
      #PepperDem.

      Hehehehehe

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    3. Yes ma'am your joke is funny but that line Beloved , is my joke funny ? Really had me ROTFL πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

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    4. πŸ˜…πŸ˜…πŸ˜…πŸ˜…πŸ˜…@ I wore your clothes, I don't know why kids like putting on adult shoes and clothes

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    5. Kids and their mentality. Love them to the moon and back.

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  4. If you watch the movie :
    Lagos na wah
    Mike ori ife di nma
    Ikuku
    Living in Bondage
    Rattle Snake
    And you are not married by now my brother/sister you need... Lol, ama talk no more

    If you don't know Jennifer when she acted the drama "I Need To know" my brother/sister you belong to indomie generation, so the person you know is Funke Akindele that single handedly developed her own accent (How is you)

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    Replies
    1. No let me catch you πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

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    2. That's not accent babe, it is spoken English. I'm a big fan of Funke Akindele so don't tag me as hater. You can Google Search for more information on accent and spoken English. Stella post ooooooo

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    3. "I need to know.....when education is the key then why do you deny it???

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  5. Don't even bring dry or boring gist here

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  6. I don't have joke oh, but I really need the money, you people should just vote me papapa oya

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  7. This happened way back, so our neighbor attends one of these white garment churches. One day, nobody was home except their daughter of about 16 years. Around 11pm at night we heard screaming, serious screams as if someone was dying, neighbors rushed into their apartment only to see this girl still screaming and pointing. She was shouting ghost! Ghost! But when we followed her gaze it was her father's gown(white garment gown) that was hung on the wall. She thought it was a ghost lmao because there was no light, someone brought down the gown and everybody laughed at her. Babe was so ashamed. Hope I tried?. #original#

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  8. Lolzzz this is good its a freestyle stuff so lemme try ND post my all time best original ND I hope win😁😁😁


    That was how my short uncle came to visit us in the house and at night my elder sister thought he was my kid brother and carried him to pee and after unzipping his zip she realised the error lol...that was how the next day he left very early and till date we have never seen or heard from him



    #ORIGINAL

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    Replies
    1. Not original. I ve read this before

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    2. Isaac na wa for dis ur lie oooo... so ur sis carried ur uncle n he didn't say anytin when she was carring him? Na wa.. all for the prize... make I hear say u win

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    3. Lair liar pants on fire. In fact, you didn't only copy, you stole this story.

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    4. I read this story here once and it was written by Isaacson as original
      So if he posted this before as original what makes it fake now?
      Isaacson,I vote for you.

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    5. Chi sometimes we just have to ignore people bcos by replying we give them exactly wat dey want...mad love for you chi😍😍😍

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    6. This is an old gist naaa, haba. Na wa ooo, Na real waa.

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    7. This is isaacsons joke isn't copied

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  9. So we have this debate competition with the neighbouring school in my jss, I was so happy because it will help me show up cos I know most of my neighbours attends the other school. I wanted to iron my cloth so well n look neat that I mistakenly burned my skirt exactly at the bombom. U know how charchaol iron burns cloth and u do not have a spare, so I had meet those obioma tailors to patch it only for him to use a different material. When it was time for debate, I was so ashamed to come out but since I must, I shamefully came out. But when it gets to my turn, after observing the protocols I started crying cos all I memorized just vanished from my memory. I couldn't even go out cos the whole school was laughing at me including the neirbours I wanted to show off to.
    I hope I win.
    ORIGINAL

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  10. *AVOID SLEEPING IN CHURCH*
    I was sleeping in the church when the usher woke me up
    Immediately, i heard the pastor saying, "Please stand up"
    I stood up without knowing the reason and people started clapping!!
    *PASTOR*; Thank you Jesus!!! Anyother person who will give us another one million naira for our church project!"
    * I Fainted*
    #copied#

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    Replies
    1. Hehehehehe
      One million naira Gbese!

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    2. Couldn't stop laughing. That was one very funny one. πŸ˜†πŸ˜†πŸ˜†πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

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  11. I went out one day using public transport, the conductor joined myself and the guy seated beside me together change-wise, he gave us N100 to split equally. I was hoping to hear him say I shouldn't bother about it after all he was looking clean and posh. Moreover, I was damn broke. He asked where I was alighting and I told him last bus/stop. He asked whether I will get anything along the road so he could get his share, he teasingly asked again can't you leave the change for me, fine girl like you. Suddenly, I shouted at him, why should I?" The same way you are finding it hard to leave the change is the same way i am too. How can you be dragging a mere N50 with me?" He felt embarrassed and I equally felt bad. I apologised. Suddenly, my stomach rumbled unapologetically and I polluted. I guess it was as a result of the yesterday beans I warmed and ate before leaving home. He gave me this shocking look that spoke daggers. I started sweating profusely and was uncomfortable. As i sighted an eatery, i literally screamed 'driver I one come down o' I jumped down and took to my heels and heard the guy shouting thought you said you headed to the last bus/stop now! won't you wait for your change!! Why the rush? the sound of his laugh made mockery of me as I ran.. I couldn't even wait to reply make hot poop no go pour throway.
    #original#

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  12. Oya this happened when I was 14yrs old,my mum never lectured me abt women monthly periods,so one Saturday evening, I was having serious stomach cramps,and the pain was horrible, so I lay down,refused to eat,didnt know when I slept off,i woke up by midnit around 11pm,went to urinate and as I came back i saw blood all over my bedsheets,I immediately shouted and started binding satan 'back to sender' was climbing itself,was even speaking in tongues,my dad was d first to enter my room,he just saw it, and stood there looking at me while I was still binding satan,only for my mum to enter and shouted on me to stop shouting,but I was not going to leave the devil alone,i continued binding him till mumsy said,'oya bind this one on ur body'..rather than bind it too,i started crying, and that was how she finally thought me abt periods,..i felt so embarrassed, couldn't look my father in the face for weeks,am so teaching my daughter once she is 10yrs

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  13. On a faithfull day, a female friend of mine came visiting, and after we used more than three hours gossiping and gisting, we eventually put a stop and it was towards 6 pm. I decided to escort her to d nearest garage, as we were still gisting on our way, naso i saw d back view of my very close frnd across d road. He was my best frnd right from child hood. So i tot he tried snobbing me dat why he didn't call my name to greet. So i took an excuse from my frnd i was escorting, immediately i crossed to the other side of the road, i was almost knocked down by car. So i tot to myself dat i will make sure he pays for dat, by scaring him. I got to him, laughing and tiptoeing, my frnd at the other side was laughing and giving me High five. Immediately i got close to him. I gave him a hard tap at d back of his head. Lo and behold, he turned back, only for me to found out dat, he was d wrong person and my eyes went straight to his singlet and saw he was wearing a military camouflage singlet. Naso i just beg am say na mistake o, even my frnd who gave me High five joined me in begging d Man. Oh boy d guy face Don change. In all i went back home in one piece. Original

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  14. My neighbour just came back home drunk and he has being knocking his own door for the past 3hrs now. Should I go and tell him he is not around? Answer fast biko.
    #Original

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    Replies
    1. Damn...this is copied. Why Una dey lie for broad daylight like this? Joke wet person don even bring come here before. Gosh!

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    2. Hahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahahaha.yes oloche go and tell him he is not around,hahahahaahahaha

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  15. This isn't Funny when but looking back now bae and I can't help bu laugh it off...so last Thursday I was going to propose to bae at one of the chicken republic outlets here,everything was set,friends w waiting and a saxophonist was ready to serenade here,only for bae to call and tell m to come pick her up asap that she isnt feeling t well...by by time I picked her up I was soooo confused and I I sweating profusely despite the fact that AC was on and she was crying 'baby I Don't want to die' (lol) and I was thinking inside of me 'how can you Feel this way,of all days'...I had to suspend the proposal at the venue,calleD a doctor friend who helped with prescription and took h home...all decor wasted,frienDs had to come home to check on her...so after she slept for the while and she woke up better,the saxophonist started playing one of her favourite tracks and I ended up proposing in the bedroom in a very modest way but she said a BIG 'yes' and she got better anD was all smiles immediately..all I well that ends well I guess

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  16. As I opened my laptop to log in to my yahoo mail, 9 year old son screamed 'ah mummy, you too are doing yahoo yahoo'. Lwkmd

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    Replies
    1. lmao oh my God I burst out laughing.

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  17. Make i just dey on the sidelines dey observe.

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  18. Ihe obuna emena m gana si na chukwu di nma. 1. Isi iyi nke ndu - fountain of life. 2. Oputu uwa t'uwa - Ancient of days. 3. Agbanwe agbanwe - the unchangeable. 4. Odum n'ebo judah - lion of the tribe of Judah. Ihe n'ile eke reke n'elu uwa nka ja ya nma - let everything that has breath praise the Lord. One love.

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  19. This happened a long time ago.... So my mum has this friend (mama Esther)her gossip partner and Esther is my childhood friend,mama Esther and my mum can gossip for Africa. this woman will come to our house to gossip,my mum will now excort her to her house bcos of the way the gossips has enter their heads, she will still excort my mum to our house and that is how they will continue excorting themselves and gossiping till when their husbands will return home. So one day,as usual mama Esther was in our sitting room with my mum doing what they know how to do best when my mum had a call, after the call she was now asking mama Esther "where did I stop" mind you, I was in one corner like the amebo that I "is" nau without them knowing, mama Esther was trying to remember and I was so carry away by the gist..that was how I open my mouth and say "Mummy you stop at where u caught pastors wife kissing brother ade" the sides eye they gave me was more than Stella own... My mum was like what are you doing there, will you go and mop the car, I was like they don't mop car na.... That was how yours faithfully was baned from the sitting room for 2 weeks.... #ORIGINAL

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  20. OK let me share this maybe it will make someone smile.
    A friend of mine whose aunty went missing for some days but was later found told me a funny story(Well, it was funny to me).
    So while they were desperately searching for her aunty, she resorted to divination to ascertain if at all the missing aunty was still alive or dead already.
    So a friend took her to a certain renowned native doctor. When they got there, they met a group of guys who were agitating and asking for the baba to do something fast.
    So while waiting for their turn to be attended to, they were following the drama that ensued between the baba and the boys.
    So it turned out that the guys were roommates and neighbors. One of them lost some expensive clothes which were brought for him by his uncle in America. Since no one accepted stealing them,they all decided to go to this renowned baba to find out who the thief amongst them was. On their way,they agreed not to reveal their real names to the baba to see if he'll be able to tell them the name of the thief without assistance. So after stating their mission,the Baba demanded to know the names of the prime suspects.They decided to give him the name of cloth brands just to see if he knew what he was doing so they don't end up punishing the wrong person.
    So they started naming their suspects.
    Errmm..Baba,the people present were Gucci, Nike,Versace.. Baba who was deep into his incantations cut them halfway"Stop!it is none of those ones,I see the thief here in my pot".The guys asked"Baba, could it be Dolce or Gabana"? The Baba who was probably tired of hearing strange modern names just cut in "ehenn that's the one"!!
    That's the person I'm seeing here. That Gabana is the one who stole the clothes.
    The guys looked at themselves in shock and asked, Errmm..please Baba if you are sure it's actually Gabana who stole the clothes can you at least point which one of us here is Gabana? After giving them a stern wicked look, the Baba pointed to the one whose clothes were stolen and said"You are Gabana,why did you steal your friend's clothes"?
    Shocked disappointed and angry, the guy just shook his head,picked up his slippers and left the shrine. His friends who couldn't hold themselves burst into laughter and started mocking the 419 Baba. They immediately nicknamed him"Baba Gabana". As the guys were laughing and leaving the shrine, my friend said she just gave the person who took her there side-eyes,picked up her bag and started leaving while joining the guys in their laughter. Even the person who took her there joined in the laughter as Baba looked on confused that everyone was laughing and leaving.
    Well, fortunately for her, her Aunty was found two days later with a story of how she miraculously escaped from suspected ritualists who kidnapped her.
    As for "Baba Gabana" and his lie lie shrine,my friend said she never bothered to know what became of them.
    But that singular incident made her to lose trust in anything fetish or anything that has to do with shrines as she now sees them all as liars who only play on people's psychology and gullibility.
    Hope I made someone smile with this story?
    Continue to enjoy your weekend guys. Love y'all.

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  21. So I hv this gist that happen to my friends younger sis..(I hope she doesn't get to read dis n call me) ehen back to the gist.. so my friends younger sis(8years) was in her house for the holiday. So one fateful morning my friend n her hubby went out but before she went out she told her sis to spread the bedsheet she washed n lock the gate n stay in the house.. so off my friend n her hubby only for my friend to come back n saw the gate locked but the door was opened inside.. she shouted her sis name to come n open the gate for her but she didn't come out... so she had to follow the backyard to see if it's open n surprisingly it was open... she entered n saw that her sis wasn't at home... she got scared n went out to ask the her neighbours if th saw her sis but they said no.. she went back inside the house to see if she took the wastebin to go n throwaway but it was also there... then my friend became very worried.. she now noticed chiamanda's book on the dinning table(half of a yellow sun)then she said Mayb her sis was reading it.. but where is she? She waited for a few minutes then she called her mother to report the case.. n her mum said they should wait for some hours that if she doesn't come back then she should go to the station to report the case... only for her mum to call her that her younger sis is in her house.. my friend became calm but asked how she got there.. then her younger sis said she was in the house ooo reading half of a yellow sun n she fell asleep only to wake up n see her self close to thier mums junction... it wasn't funny then but when ever we remember it we just laff... #original.. I hope I win s I fit give small to my friend

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  22. This one still cracks me up...

    This happened when I was small maybe 5 or 6 years old. I grew up in a small middle class family. I was seeing a jacuzzi for the first time in my life. I saw it on TV and wondered how great it must be to lie down and take bath. Over a couple of months, owing to my curiosity and interest i had started noticing jacuzzi or bathtub in a lot of channels,nd movies....
    I said to myself,I Av to experience it...

    Na so, one day when i was taking my bath,i just had an idea ..could a bucket be big enough to be called a bathtub!? I happily filled the bucket with water , melted out a full Soap bar to make bubbles and sat in it. I did not realize that the bucket was too small until my ass and my tiny arms were stuck in it..my feet still dangling outside on the edge of the bucket..chaii

    The fact that I had filled the bucket with soap water made it worse. The surface was too slippery to hold the edges and stand up. I tried moving the bucket with all my might like a turtle who struggles on his shell to topple..(but for whr) Still did not work.I was scared and ashamed to call for help. I just sat in the bucket(for whr I kwn gree come out)

    My mom got worried that I did not come out of the bathroom over 40 mins. Those days she wouldnt allow me to lock the door of any room knowing the things I was capable of doing. So luckily she just had to open the bathroom door and peeped inside... And she burst out laughing πŸ˜†....

    She told my story to everyone in my family. For almost a month, my elder brothers and sisters(i be last born)would knock on the bathroom door and ask " your highness, hope you are having a relaxing bath in your majestic tub".

    Hahahahahahs.... Hope I go win o
    Shine teeth*

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  23. I love my nieces. I was preparing dinner in the kitchen around 7pm. My 2yrs plus niece was with me. So while I was busy cooking, she opened the back door to go outside, I shouted, "where are you going to, come back here. Ojuju is outside and will bite you". She quickly closed the door and ran to the parlour. After like 5mins, she came back to the kitchen and opened the door. I was like, "You are still opening the door" and she said, "I'm going outside, ojuju yaf gone". I burst into laughter.

    ORIGINAL

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    Replies
    1. Aunty why did you go anonymous. .. laughed o
      Abi you be ojuju ni ? πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

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  24. Wen I was in ss3.a shell worker took me out.was brought up in d ghetto.but am beautiful and very fair.u will tink am an ajebota.didn't tell him anything.dey brought me food with cutlery.i don't know how to use it.i ended up disgraceful.my chicken fell from me.right there d guy said lets go.original

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  25. Okay,back then when watching movies at the cinema was a big boy thing(talking about years ago when it was new in nigeria) I Was at silverbird in V.I with my brothers... so we already bought the ticket and we were waiting outside just hanging around before the movie.. suddenly I saw a guy with a trolley with lots of popcorn in it and I saw random peeps just going there to pick one (so I thought) not knowing they were all a group of people who came to the cinemas. So I said to myself let me go get one and as I got there and took one,the eyes that looked at me and I think one person now explained I wanted to enter the ground and my brothers were there laughing cause they didn't go with me,i was the scape goat. It was really embarrassing. ‎

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  26. My first time in Abj. Went for my course mate's sister's wedding with other of my course mates. After d wedding on our way back to base in a bus . I noticed dis cute guy riding in a very fine car with probably his Friend or brother...the passenger looked younger than him. Immediately he waved me and made the pssss sound. That's how I told my friends good bye and jumped out of the bus to meet the guys in d car on the other lane. I remember one of the girls shouting from the window "Mary, (fake name) where are u going?" I told her I knew them and rushed to meet. Meanwhile, I've heard alot of gist about how ppl hammer in Abj. How u can just meet a guy and he asks u out, and he dates u and if he marries u,ur own don better,or even if he no marry you, he'll drop correct cash for u. Dats how I raced to the road o, crossed the first lane,as I was crossing the second lane, waving the guy to stop. Immediately,i noticed d guy szooming off o. Like he has seen a ghost. I was stranded that day. Thank God my course mates were no longer there. The bus had moved.Thank God they didn't see this kind thing. That's how I started walking on the streets of Abj o... Shamefully. Couldn't call my parents cos I knew they were broke,also didn't want them to know I travelled. Had to call my then school Bf who was the main reason I did that in the first place. He was so lazy and broke eh. He was the reason I did Dat in d first place. I thought the guy wanted to ask me out. ****Original. Hmmmmmm. Whenever I remember this incident. I laugh at myself. Chai see wetin brokenness de cause. But today I thank God for my life. Even though I've not gotten there yet, I can say my family is better now. God's grace has been great towards me. Just finished the university. Awaiting service . (I was about 20yrs old then,a first Child and from a humble background) Today i thank God for my life. Even applied for a Job last week. By God's unfailling grace and mercy, I Know I'll get it. Can't wait to put a smile on the face of my aging parents, and on the face of other needy ppl who have got no one to make them smile. i'm new here. Pls Maam, make my post visible.

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  27. NB Applied for d job wit my diploma certificate.

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