Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Dayo Amusa's Selah Post On Women Dating Men Who Needed To Be Fixed...

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Wednesday, October 04, 2017

Dayo Amusa's Selah Post On Women Dating Men Who Needed To Be Fixed...

The actress says she used to be a fixer..Used to stay in bad relationships and always attracting the same kind of men -Cheating,commitment phobic,emotionally unavailable damaged,alcoholic,drug abusers,narcissist kind of men........

This might be your story too.....







36 comments:

  1. I can relate. Thank God she learnt. I see a strong lady there

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  2. My view is, one should just take life how s/he sees it.

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  3. Emotionally unavailable men are the ones that breaks me the most
    When you need them, they're not there
    It makes you feel single when you're actually in a relationship

    MEN! I dedicate bv Chizoba's umu nwoke song to them.

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    Replies
    1. Those kind of men are so energy draining, run from them I have learned my lesson.

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    2. They make being in a relationship a hard job. You hv to always remind them you are there. Rubbish

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  4. No experience in this thankfully!

    This piece is very well written and also looks very familiar.:-)

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  5. Copy and paste i guess.. Dont think She can write good English like this...

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    1. This was supposed to be a joke, right?I believe you know she is well-educated and grounded ?Please next time before you does out thrash from that gutter you call a mouth kindly connect your tongue to your brain. Expensive maggot.

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    2. You probably haven't watched Unforgiveable or any of her English moves. She speaks very well

      Tee

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    3. Welcome dayo amusann..this is you...you have used 'expensive maggot before....so I knew it was u...the person no lie now...

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  6. I think you need to fix yourself if you attract these type of men all the time.

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  7. If you are only attracting men who need to be fixed, then you should check yourself too. Like terms attract. You'll always attract your kind in life

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    Replies
    1. My dear, opposites attract.

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    2. It's obvious you are not a science student. Unlike terms attracts and like terms repel. That's why good girls usually end up with bad guys and vice versa.

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    3. Anon 12:55, you're the one who is wrong, you attract your kind in life, that's why its more common to see girl selling alcohol inside garage dating conductor or agbero, because thats her kind, or you see doctor and nurse working in the same hospital dating, or even all these showbiz people, actors/actresses/musicians/OAPs dating one another, because that's their circle, their kind, so if you know the kind of spouse you want, aspire to become that kind of person because that's when you'll be able to attract such people.

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    4. 14:22, what you are referring to is the ideal relationship dynamic. But in reality opposites attract, hence Dayo's write up. I am not saying it is always a good thing, neither is it always a bad thing. It just is.

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  8. You can't change a grown man
    Except they choose to!I learnt that a long time ago. Na God be the only unchangeable changer

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  9. She is right.We think we can change them,but they are not ready to change.Instead they hurting us.Thank God i've outgrown this.I want a fixed guy not the one i'll be fixing.

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  10. this so me right now stella...i am emotionally drained and constantly feeling like i can do better ''for him''. never thinking of myself or my happiness.
    i am tied between making that tough decision.
    i cant do anything anymore, if God wants me to do something He should show me, i have been seeing signs everywhere and this might just be another.
    its too hard when you truly love em you know.

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    Replies
    1. Abeg get out jor. This post is not for you. It's for those who genuinely know what is good for them. Who have a high self esteem and know where they're headed in life.

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  11. This is so true but u can't change anybody except d person is ready to change... Nobody turns a newleaf over night,it starts from d inside with self determination and discipline

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  12. You cant fix any man except God or if makes personal efforts to do so. If not you are only wasting your precious time.

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  13. You cant fix any man except God or if makes personal efforts to do so. If not you are only wasting your precious time.

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  14. Why is the comment section boring today?

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  15. I can relate with emotionally unavailable men.

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  16. Women (people) who are like these are termed co-dependents.

    Codependency is a type of dysfunctional helping relationship where one person supports or enables another person's drug addiction, alcoholism, gambling addiction, poor mental health, immaturity, irresponsibility, or under-achievement.

    Such types are usually attracted to damaged men (narcissists, psychopaths, sociopaths) and almost always find themselves in troubled dysfunctional relationships filled with abuse and all types of drama.

    They usually sacrifice their own needs and well-being to satisfy the other at their detriment with their sense of identity and worth tied to that person.

    Psychology is a very interesting field of study and knowing a bit about these things can help you identify negative relationship patterns you create and avoid getting romantically involved with certain personality types. Ladies, this will save you a lot of heartbreak.

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    Replies
    1. Not all such women are codependents. In the sense that not all support the negative habits of the men. Some are actually very strong women, who are high achievers, but they have the irresistible need to fix their man. They feel they can make him perfect, make him change, make him adjust to the man they want him to be. But this of course is mostly an impossible dream. Their behaviour (the women) can be linked to their childhood and the dysfunction they grew up in most times.

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  17. Like my ex Deji m lolx

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  18. Women with higher IQ's have a harder time finding a mate. Intelligent women would rather remain single than be with the wrong person.

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  19. Them plenty for this our blog!! 😂😂
    Everyday u go send chronicle, we will advice but the veeeerry next day someone comes again.... fully armoured "BVs insult me please I deserve it" and I'm here like.... 'oh! So you know?' 😂

    You attract what you believe in. And I say again, you attract what you believe in. If you believe that crap that 'men are babies' you will attract babies and even if you meet an adult you will turn him into a baby.
    You believe men are selfish and can't do anything for you with their time, commitment or money, you will keep attracting selfish men and even when you meet a generous man, by your words and actions you will as only his selfish side. That's why while someone is abusing a 'terrible' ex, terrible ex is another's dream man two days later. If you believe men are confused and you are the one to show him the way, you will always fall in love with confused men and try to show them the way. And needless To say, you will fail. Cos if a man hasn't decided to wake up you aren't the one who will make him.

    Also, users and abusers know who to target. If you don't believe me, just come across as someone who knows what she's doing -goal driven, target oriented etc (I didn't say arrogant) and see how many guys on your list would avoid you.

    A common trick i caught on earlier in my 20s is when they make conversation and ask you 'what do you do?' And then you say. Then they ask you 'do you like your job? Is that what you dreamt of doing at this point in your life?' You know... acting/sounding all concerned to take you on a soul-searching journey.
    Now a vulnerable woman would start going on about how the pay isn't so good for her job description, how she wants to do biz but doesn't have enough capital, how she's not earning enough to save, how she earns well but isnt getting that fulfilment, its not her passion etc. (Normal stuff on every Nigerians' mind on a good day). When you start saying these things an abuser/user is looking for that loophole he can enter to wrap you around his finger... pretend like he can help you even when he can't help himself 😂 The disappointment in their face is when you say 'yes I'm great, the future is bright and I'm contented and thankful' (with a smile) you've killed every channel of confusion for him. This is strategy they have used to confuse many babes and enter their lives to alter it.

    Careful who you open up to ladies. Many men out there just wanna get your weak point. Biko go and cry on your mother's laps if you're having hard times 😂

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