Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative...

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Sunday, February 25, 2018

Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative...

Hmmmm...



STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
DEALING WITH TOXIC FAMILY MEMBERS

Hello Stella,


I just need some advice as am about to pour out how i feel presently.

Please hide my ID, am a lover of your blog but i dont comment. i love the chronicle aspect because these are real life experience we all learn from.


Here is my chronicle


I grew up with my cousins and my aunt that took care of me is a wonderful person, she took me as her biological daughter and that's the reason i feel bad when her children only talk but they hate behind.


My aunt first daughter dated a very rich man who sleeps with everything in skirt and claimed to be a philanthropist because we used to be about 35-40 people in a house. Then i was very little but i never allowed him to touch me, i usually tell him my aunt said we should go to the hospital whenever he claimed to check my vaginal. He was still paying my school fees up to when i finished secondary school but the last born felt i am having something with him. i always press my lips when am busy or do something serious and she thought i kissed this my sister's then fiance. I know she told that somethings that never happened but God is my witness and i know myself. it got to a point my aunt slapped one day just because i said we will meet her in front while we were coming and she said SHE WONT BLAME ME WHEN AM SLEEPING WITH PEOPLE OLDER THAN MY FATHER,mind you my dad is late. i let go because it was on a new year eve, this happened year back 2003 i was in jss3 but seriously i still feel hurt.


Now during my service year in 2013 this my elder cousin has 3 kids not with a man but she had someone coming to her house and her children calsl him UNCLE. i served in Abia and my sister was in Baelsa and this uncle was always calling me which i told my sister this calling is getting out of hand but she said his not that kind of a person and eventually Uncle asked me to call to PH for a wedding and i told my sister since i dont even travelling because i was learning how to sew. Uncle said there was bachelor eve and i got ready to attend and met him at the a hotel, when i became uncomfortable i called my sister and she said they are done with the bachelor's even that i should leave, he was shocked i called my sister and was talking out of point while i was waiting for him to open the door because he sounded drunk and i dont want to hear stories that touches the heart. Luckily someone came to knock for him to park properly thats how i left, he went to drop me at one of my sister;s place in PH.



I Noticed this my cousin doesnt trust me after all that and she throws words at me and i cant reply because she is my senior, to the extend she was telling her younger sister that i will do her strong in her marital home and that made me to leave and went to stay with a friend with other things inclusive.


it got to the extend of her comparing me and her when the 2nd born said am beautiful, she was like am i finer than her, she jsut throw words at me, recently where everyone was, she said SO YOU SEF DON REACH PERSON WEY THEM THEY SERVE just because someone younger served me food. My sister was suppose to supervise the carter at my wedding but she left everything and the caterer messed up everything and she started saying i embarrassed her and he angry that if not because of her my wedding wont have held in the church because she was the one that linked me to the pastor and went as far as saying NOW I FEEL AM MARRIED AND CAN DO ANYTHING, SHE SAID IT AGAIN AFTER MY WEDDING and i was wonder where all these words were coming from because with all of the hurtful word and things she did, i never put anything to heart but now am really tired and want to give everyone space.


I just want to know am doing the right thing because i feel hurt and this people are toxic to me. Nobody appreciates how far have tried up till now and all i get is blame and hurtful words. Its bad that i cant express myself correctly due to low self esteem have suffered and now am married my husband to trying to help me out.


Stella please i need your red pen.

Its really frustrating. Many and more just want to shorten it.

Thanks.


*When the people in your life become so toxic that you lose your peace of mind,then its time to let them go...Dont even think twice about it.

70 comments:

  1. You will be fine last last. Just free everyone of them and stay in your husband house. Mind you, make sure you're working o





    *Larry was here*

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Truth is you don't owe anyone anything. Stay away from those relations of yours and concentrate on your self and husband. You can call your aunt once in awhile but try and avoid them for now. But please learn to address issues immediately it's not every thing someone keeps quite. Now you are married, don't expect a smooth sailing. Bottom line is learn to speak up

      Delete
    2. OMG... what kinda migraine induced chronicles is this one, and you say you are a graduate? Hmmmmmm OK oh.. Plz who understands summarize Biko...

      Delete
    3. My thought exactly..... Please someone should summarize cos this Chronicles na real wa

      Delete
  2. I don't even understand what u are trying to say..anyway enjoy ur marriage

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Same here, can't have a migraine biko. But def everything will be alright poster.

      Delete
    2. Thank God am not the only one who doesn't understand the chronicle. Poster dooh all will be well.

      Delete
  3. I am so sorry but it's really hard for me to comprehend what you wrote..

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm not the only one who doesn't understand what u wrote

      Delete
    2. 🤣🤣🤣🤣

      Delete
  4. The genesis of this toxic relationship is cos of a man!
    Una go dey alrigt at last.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It always has to be "because of a man"
      Is there anything else girls quarrel over?

      Delete
    2. From what I could gather from the write up, you keep quiet about certain things that you are meant to speak about. When the rumour of you sleeping with someone was circulating, you should have debunked it pronto. Those people ended up believing it, making snide remarks because of it.
      That’s also why the uncle you mentioned invited for bachelor’s eve cos he felt you were easy game, due to the stories he heard. I hope they don’t carry those stories to your husband.

      Delete
  5. Forgiveness is the key here; all the people that hurt or perceived to have hurt you need your forgiveness from your heart. That is the only way you can move beyond the "low self esteem" that you mentioned. You feel in charge in your inner being and your conscience feels refreshed when you forgive and even if you won't get along or tolerate, do not saddle yourself with the baggage of unforgiveness.
    Please kindly do a lot of reading to brush up your Written English. It is nothing to worry you; a lot of Nigerian graduates are in the same situation but it is something one can overcome with good effort.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well I chose to believe that this is not really how you write on a normal day, but because you are upset and offended hence the plenty mistakes.
      As stated by others, please just try and keep these people at arms length.
      Face your new home and build it. Call your aunt from time to time. Don't, I mean Don't allow people's opinion bring you down or allow it affect your esteem.

      Delete
  6. Very pathetic. You should be careful...

    ReplyDelete
  7. Shey we will have to understand this thing you wrote up there first before we can advise you. Smh.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Very difficult to read.

    ReplyDelete
  9. So this poster did NYSC? I stopped reading because it was painful to read this write up......

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I don't even know the beginning,the middle and the end of this story.

      Delete
    2. I tire. A graduate actually wrote this. It's not even the bad English used but how everything is scattered can give one migraine.
      Pls there are family people like this. That they raised you doesn't mean they own you. Face your marriage and try and be avoiding them. Do what is expected of you to your aunt that raised you, whether it's calling her to wish her happy birthday, send whatever you can to her. Please anyone that is going to make life unbearable for someone whether family or friend. Keep your distance from the. Greet them whenever you see them. If they ask how come you don't come around again. Form lie on how busy you are with family and work. Good luck



      Delete
    3. Generally, the average Nigerian student/graduate's communications skills are Very Poor.
      That's primarily because the don't read.

      Delete
    4. Me too. I just stopped half way,very painful to read

      Delete
    5. Anon 15:52 You that read,see what you typed😂😂😂

      Delete
    6. @Anonymous 15:52
      "Because the don't read?"
      Are you serious?
      THEY don't read but you read?

      Delete
    7. Do they teach English in NYSC?
      In fact if you served in the North like I did,
      You will understand that even English language is
      taught in Hausa!

      Delete
    8. I thought I was alone. I was asking myself is it that i don't know how to read again. Nawoo! For some people when go school o. Mteww
      Ify

      Delete
    9. I got tired of reading half way as I could no longer comprehend. Oh Lord. Give me strength.

      Delete
    10. Lol@ anon 17:11. You're right about teaching English in Hausa, I served in the north too. I had to learn Hausa by force

      Delete
  10. I don't understand the head and tail of this chronicle. So I will pass today.

    ReplyDelete
  11. I don't understand what you are saying,so disjointed.

    ReplyDelete
  12. I'm sorry but if you speak the way you write then there is a MAJOR challenge.
    I'm unable to advise because I don't understand a word of what you are saying. It is as if you are sleep talking. Take it to God in prayer. Stay well.

    ReplyDelete
  13. How can I advice you when I don't understand what you wrote? And you went to school ooh.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Prof, it's advise you re supposed to use not advice.😕 Educated olodo.

      Delete
    2. Prof, it's advise you re supposed to use not advice.😕 Educated olodo.

      Delete
  14. Poster this your write up is headache inducing,but I could deduce that u get blamed for what u didn't do each time..I'd say don't live ur life to please people,just avoid them..people are generally insatiable no matter how hard u try!

    ReplyDelete
  15. Poster some bvs have told you something noteworthy about your writing skills but I am going to say something about ur issue.
    Toxic people need u out of their space and would go the ends of the earth to eliminate u if u don't RUN! Just give them space that's only how u can regain ur sanity. Stop trying to bring them into your business cuz every opportunity they get to ruin you will not be underutilized.
    Do as much as u can to stay away from their influence. You​ are married now is a great way to get the fresh air u have desperately wanted, so build the kind of environment and relationship u want with ur husband and other nontoxic individuals.
    You become what u interact with on a daily basis. Choose to maintain positive energy within and around you. Sack toxic people cuz they are powerful enough to transfer their negative energy to you which in turn would breakdown your relationship with others cuz ur vibes will become negative as well.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Poster I did not even finish reading your post.

    Biko write better next time.

    I can't come and go and kee myself on top your Chronicle.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think what she's saying is that her family always make snide remarks at her, accuse her of doing stuff she didn't do and also disregard her.

      Poster, you need to avoid them for a while, work on forgiveness and your self esteem. Also when next anyone tells you or does things to you that you don't like, just say it. I don't know how people sleep well at night by bottling things up. Na wa oh

      Delete
  17. Just ignore them, focus in raising your family and also speak up for yourself

    ReplyDelete
  18. I won't comment on your chronicle since you never comment on this blog. Who una think say no get work to dey comment up and down for una to read while you read and waka pass. If na me be Stella, I for no dey post anything for all those people who always claim 'I hardly comment' or 'I dont comment'. Carry your cross by your non-commenting self!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I hate that ' i hardly comment's or ' I don't comment ' shit. Especially those faces of ihn. That info is so not necessary

      Delete
  19. Honestly some people on this blog are such irritants....what are u idiots feeling like? Even if her English is bad you got the gist so what are you fake arses feeling like? Not everyone had the privilege of going to good schools. We were all not lucky to have a good start.....I started to read and noticed the bad grammar but I still got the gist....you don’t rub in people’s problem in their faces

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you for this. Even if her English is bad, you don't have to rub it in on her faces. She has low self esteem already, why make it worse for her.No one is perfect nah. @ Poster, distance yourself from them but try to take care of the aunt that raised you. You will be fine and next time, try to speak up. While in school then, I had low self esteem and it really affected me a lot. But now, I am getting better. It is well with you dear

      Delete
    2. I just tire for them o,They re feeling like Shakespeare when most of them can't make use of ordinary concord, You see them and their funny distorted comments everyday.

      Delete
    3. That's the problem with many people,they hate to be told the truth.Are you trying to ignore the fact that the whole write-up is hard to comprehend?you don't like her at all if not you would tell her the truth.I know its bitter,but she has to be told.

      Delete
    4. @Anonymous 16:33
      I honestly didn't get the gist. Its not about rubbing people's problem in their faces, its about saying the truth. The truth for me is that i cant comprehend this chronicle.

      Delete
  20. I have no idea how to advice to because I have no idea what you wrote. Pls endeavor to read your message before you send it out

    ReplyDelete
  21. How can we advise you when we don’t understand your chronicle? Nne abeg use sign language next time cos this your oyibo is painful!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sign language. You people are just savage. Hahahahahaha
      I think next time she should write in her local dialect and Stella will help us use that Google translating app to translate it. I dunno if it works for naija dialect sha o.
      On a serious note poster face your marriage and the family you will create. Improve on your English and build some self confidence. I bet you are young now, in time you will learn that is human nature.

      Delete
  22. Please try to perfect your writing skills and also your communication skills. That's my own advice to you.

    ReplyDelete
  23. Did you people read where she stated that she has communication problem? She said her husband is helping her out with it. Communication problem is same as having hearing or sight difficulty. It is a serious problem.

    ReplyDelete
  24. Omg!!! I just had to finish this chronicle.
    Poster it is well with you. Stay away from them and focus more on raising you family

    ReplyDelete
  25. WTF! Why re you gals blasting her like this? Someone wrote in to seek your opinion and emotional support but all you gals did was to start blasting her and criticising her writing skills. Not fair at all..
    Poster please try as much as possible to avoid those people with their downgrading selves. You only ve this life to live and make sure you live the best of it.Only you can make yourself happy and you'd do it by avoiding those toxic and wicked beings

    ReplyDelete
  26. Honestly I can't comprehend this chronicles,

    ReplyDelete
  27. See them a won English tutor. See that one in a bid to criticise someone you didn't even proof read nonsense. poster pls ignore those people and start standing up for yourself pls you are married now take charge of your life.

    ReplyDelete
  28. The only thing that is killing and destroying africa are these,
    you forget the matter at hand and is only you no sabi write english is the topic,
    must of this master certificate holders are presently feeding and trained by a
    trader and secondary school holder,some of them are working in a company build
    by a secondary school drop out,that has wisdom,,some of the has refused to teach
    there children there native language,,,is a shame,,,they now speak english more
    than england people,,,and they use english to lie too much,,,shame

    ReplyDelete
  29. Dear OP please give them space. Stop stressing yourself unnecessarily. Build your self esteem and live life darling! Don't just exist, LIVE!

    Even if you straffed the man, They have no moral right to judge you. Ignore them! Believe me... You are in the best position to choose what to accept or ignore.

    They are toxic, bitter and manipulative.... IGNORE THEM!

    ReplyDelete
  30. Poster three advice for u
    1.work on your self-esteem
    2.work on your vocabulary cuz you're a wreck in that aspect,show us that you're a graduate and lastly
    3. Learn to stand up to people we longer live the era of God will fight for me when he gave you the wisdom to do so;nobody admires martyr in foolishness these days
    God bless.

    ReplyDelete
  31. Pls go and look for an adult education tutorial centre and learn how to form sentences. Just start from there.

    ReplyDelete
  32. Why do you want to care or kill yourself over people who o not care about you? Double your hustle and gave your front.

    ReplyDelete
  33. The only people you need in your life are those who give you peace. Stay away from those manipulators, just face your marriage. It is well with you.

    ReplyDelete
  34. I cannot understand anything here.

    ReplyDelete
  35. Stella please what did you respond to? Sincerely i can't make anything out of this chronicle. I read till the end and it just didn't make any sense. I am sorry.

    ReplyDelete
  36. dis chronicle tho nxt time when u finished writing u ready preview and edit then ready again for
    for proper corrections. bcos did ur writeup didn't make sense atall was struggling while reading this.

    ReplyDelete

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