Oh Dear!!!...
STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
ABUSIVE AND CONTROLLING PARENTS..
I keep asking myself if this is how I’ll continue?? I don’t think it’s too much to ask for me to sleep at my friends place and come back after the festival but my parents will never allow me . If I was working in a bank automatically I’ve lost my job cos my excuse is not valid ...
I’m tired of my parents being too strict , they won’t even let me spend the night at my cousins house not to talk of my very close friends even when they’re getting married.
I’m not a kid cos I’m working, done with school and Nysc. My house is in ikorodu and my office is at ajah and I’m tired of traveling that distance everyday coupled with the fact that when ever I get home late from work cos of distance and traffic my parents threaten to stop me from working. I’m tired I can’t even save cos the cos of transportation is no joke .
I’ve contemplated leaving the house several times having weighed the pros and cons of staying back but I’m too scared to leave cos my parents will disown me but I know I can’t continue like this else I’ll be stagnant...
Has anyone ever been in this condition? How did you do it ? I’ve begged and begged for them to let me stay with my friend weekdays and come back on Friday but they almost beat me up for saying that . I feel I’m stuck cos i'm too scared of being disowned by them but what about my future? Will they accept me back when I finally become somebody in future??
*Ah this isnt right and you are not a child!!...I am sorry to say this but it is time to disown your parents and go and find your future before it is too late....
Threaten to beat you up for suggesting you move to somewhere getting to work will be easy?Are you even dating?
In trying to protect kids,some parents just mess it all up!!!
The kingdom of God suffereth violence and the violence taken it by force. You have to break loose by force.
ReplyDeleteBreak loose?
DeleteWho tie am?
Break loose to go and fork upandan?
Aunty move out, just save towards it, get a place and move then send them a message explaining, do not pick up after a week call your mum she will quickly pick up. They have put so much fear in you, believe me no one will disown you, do you think it’s easy to give birth to a child, that you think they will disown you for moving out not like you killed someone.
DeleteYou can start breaking the law by sleeping out, nothing will happen they can’t even beat you
Save towards this and move out but do not disown them. (To them they are protecting you,but fail to forget there’s a balance) if you continue to stay in there, you must abide by their rules, if you decide to move out, you live by your own rules.
DeletePoster, did you also serve from home or went to school/classes from home?
DeleteBefore they disown you I'll advice you disown them cos you'll remain in a place if you don't do the needful.
Oh no! I typed "taketh" and i crossed checked to see if it stayed, now this wobe children will come and tell me my life history on this "taken" typo now. I beg you anon be merciful.
DeleteHAHAHAHAHAHA. They will stop you from working because you come home late from work due to distance ????
DeleteSo they prefer a jobless daughter that will be waking up, eating and sleeping in their house daily. Upon how difficult it is to get jobs now.
How do you even do it. Ajah to ikorodu daily. I bet you wake at 4 and leave the house 5am. Living like that will soon start to affect you health'wise. No work-life balance.
I think you need to get someone they respect to speak to them. Maybe an older uncle/aunty/ grandparents etc. Tell them it is starting to affect your health, that the distance is even affecting your productivity at work, add some jara to it. Atleast let them allow you stay with your friend mon-Fri if they don't like you staying alone for safety. If they still disagree. My dear you damn all consequences and move out.
Living as you do commuting from ikorodu to ajah daily can reduce your life span sef.
Anon 15:20 if she break loose to fuck upandan nkor? Is it your fucking? Common sense is not really common
DeletePoster if you can, get them to transfer you to another state at your place of work or look for a job elsewhere. All will be well.
DeletePoster save and move out beside take BED and ROSES advice
DeleteLol, I'm going to tell you the honest truth nothing go happen, as long as they are your parents. Call their bluff and move out. People that their kids are criminals have not disowned is now you
DeleteEyah Pele. Apply for your annual leave and tell them you've been sacked coz you always get to work late and no payment. Stay at home for 2-3weeks beg them for money to go fake interviews they will change their minds when you are about to resume.
DeleteStella, this your dim wit Anon needs to stop. He gets on my nerves and he is not even funny. Some of us come here to relax not to constantly have his rude comments in our faces. I know some people have commented before. Pls. take note when your comenters complain. Na so Bella Naija trouble take start. Now, on BN you have some posts without comments for months now. But, here l believe people come to air their views without having some silly thing constantly vomiting trashy responses to everyone's comment. Let him post his comment like others and keep it moving. (That Isoko Babe) Stella Mavor?
DeletePls u better break loose from ur parents...ikorodu to ajah everyday...how do u cope...u better rebel...the earlier the better for u
ReplyDeleteSubtract your tranport from your salary. Get a job in Ikorodu that pays the later amount.yoir parents probably have seen some wayward tendencies in you hence the need to cage you. Your mum has probably read your messages without your knowing.
DeleteIf all parents are like this, the rate of abortion and waywardness will reduce. Kudos to your parents.
I don't believe your office is at Ajah, you are just exaggerating. How much will an Ajah company pay you that you can't find a similar job on the mainland? You sent this chronicle in so you can gain confidence to rebel against your parents and move to your boyfriends house abi.
Anon, you are a Twerp. Suffocate ur own kids when you have them. Evil soul, no be only boyfriend house
Deleterubbish, so if your parents disown you you will die abi? what does disowning mean sef? pls get a house and move out....anonymous u are so daft honestly, imagine the rubbish you are vomiting...goat
DeleteShe can actually live in Ikorodu and work at Ajah, my sister was in this shoes. She gets home pretty late at times her boss gets her Uber to bring her home. When she got home 12a.m. that was when my dad allowed her get an apartment closer to work. So I understand her plight. My parents were overly protective of us too especially my dad, I was the only one that was too weak to fight back. My younger ones did and they are better off now. She just needs to brazen up.
DeleteListen to your parents, you will never regret it.
ReplyDeleteExactly.
DeleteYou will not be alive to regret it.
Ikorodu to Ajah every day?
When I'm not even half mad?
It's because you haven't made something of yourself. If you were Mikel Obi, tell me would they have been locking you up like a toy in the wardrobe?
So if they disown you what exactly happens? What are you benefitting now apart from a roof over your head?
Go out, make something of yourself and send allowances to them. You will see how they will be using vuvuzela to praise you.
I don't know if it's inside that shanty town Ikorodu that you want to be a superstar.
In dis case??? Pls i beg to differ
DeletePoster don't listen to anon 15.04 He is not alright cranially. Take ur future into ur hands, move out of that house. So if u got a job in another state, they won't let u go or did you do ur Nysc from home? Stand up to ur parents now or when u leave home, u will still be dancing to their tune
DeleteIf you don't force yourself out from that bondage you called home, you will be stagnant. It's high time you fought your fear and conquered it. I recommend you read this book "Who Moved My Cheese"
ReplyDelete*Larry was here*
Ikorodu to Ajah!!!!!!!!!!!! Jesus Christ! And i stay in Ajah and work around Lekki and i still complain. Nne like Stella said it’s time to disown your parents. So u practically spend all ur salary on transportation? Na wa o, some parents shaa!
ReplyDeleteJust like ya own shildren go disown you when you finish training them.
DeleteThey won’t cos I won’t treat them like this ! Btw carry your stupid self out of my comment.
Deletemy mum was like too o. but I had to stand my ground abeg. they are too over protective and they are doing it the wrong way. maybe you act too much like a kid and they already know your weakness. if you were a male child I'm sure they won't try that rubbish. it's high time you make your decision and stand by it. and yes! they'll accept you if you eventually become somebody in future. so you mean you don't even have a bf? how do you even socialize? these are the kind of parents that will frustrate you when you turn 30years at home without a husband not knowing it's their fault. don't stay there and be dulling o. open your eyes babe. we are in d 21st century
ReplyDeleteDear they treat you like that because you agree to all their requests. Don't even tell them, quietly get your apartment if you can afford it and start moving your stuff a little and done day, you will just do via m.
ReplyDeleteYour parents will never disown you because you left the house. They will shout and all that but don't agree. I think this happens mostly with ladies, because I know guys will just leave without even telling you.
For coming back late, for the fact you still live under their roof, you have to obey to their rules. So the only option is getting your apartment and leave.
Your parents are only trying to protect you from these evil days. Must you go and stay with a friend? Children of nawa days always trying to fly!
ReplyDeleteWait till you get married then you can have your freedom, if only you end up with such man.
@ Fan Emmanuel, this your advise just makes me WANT TO SLAP YOU! I am sure you are archaic in your thinking. She should wait till she gets married? What fuckery is this?
DeleteCeiling fan, how far?
DeleteI been dey look for you since.
You wan say when the girl get her own amu na
as her parent no want any strange amu to enter there
Them do well.
Someone done with uni, with NYSC,and already working is what you call 'children'? El O El.
Delete@Anonymous 15:27
DeleteWhen you born ya own pikin, after NYSC chase am out like some Yankee parents dey do; you hear?
Then she go become "mama street" for you.
You guys are jokers...a graduate, done with nyse and has a job is who you call a child? You think having a fuck partner is the priority of a woman who wants to better her life and move forward with her career? You think that even if she doesn't step a foot outside that prison of a house that she can't get pregnant or have sex on a daily basis? You think that she can't sign off a 10days leave and go fuck her brains out if that is her problem and be forming "I'm going to work everyday"?
DeleteIkorodu to Ajah! Babe you are the real MVP.
You don't even have to save towards an apartment for yourself alone , you can save towards co-sharing with a friend which will be cheaper for you.
Disown you because you don't want lagos traffic to drive you mad and render you penniless at the end of every month? Make them try naa! They are just bluffing so call their bluff and whoever they tell that rubbish will laugh them to scorn.
My family encouraged my sister to find an apartment in lekki and share with 2 colleagues when she got a job in V.I because with the distance and everything na sack she for chop. That is what good parents do...support your child's career and pray for them. A child that wants to spoil will spoil even if you cover her with a bucket.
Anon how do you expect this ceiling fan to know. Has she worked a professional job in her life or does she know Lagos. Is it not that her local area she knows.
DeleteIf she knows the distance in ikorodu that is like a village to ajah daily she will not be talking.
Fan emmanuel, receive sense! @Ralu M, God bless you. You just spoke my mind. Pls loud it one more time for those at d back👏👏👏
DeleteVillage woman. I no blame you,ma because you no know where be Lagos so you can't understand Ikorodu to Ajah
DeleteYou are really without sense, this mgbeke. So a graduate is still a child okwaya. Well ur life begins and ends with being married that's why you can dish this nonsense advice .You are Cranially empty
Deletewoman child, i hail oo. don't use your parents as an excuse for your fear, your are scared of taking responsibilities, if you dispute it try it.
ReplyDeleteThe only comment that made sense so far. OP stop blamming your parents for your woes. You are still a child that is why your parent treats you, talk to you and scold you like a child. The day you treat yourself as an adult, they'll treat you as an adult.
DeleteWoman Child, grow up... stop slaying up.
Being a graduate + done with NYSC doesn't mean you are an adult.
Being in you 20's doesn't mean you are an adult.
Woman Child, grow up... accept responsibility for your decisions
The day you start being responsible, your parent will start treating you well
Indecision is the grave where good intentions are burried.
Woman Child, Big boobs plus big ass doesn't equal Adulthood
Be responsible. If you succeed it is your fauld, if you fail it is your fauld.
Stop blaming your parents for your woes. Decide to move out... it is your decision.
Abi ooo. Arise and shine as the Bible will say. Go and shine forth poster, and you would be glad you did.
DeleteAt this age?!My dear break free. Na because you never do strong head small
ReplyDeleteHow old is she? Had to go back to check, but couldn't find it. Which paragraph?
DeleteTalk to them again and if they still remain adamant, look for an elder or their siblings in the family you think they'll respect and talk to them. Telling them is for them to be your witness when you decide to take a decision your parents won't like.
ReplyDeleteThe truth is you have your life to live, pack your things and leave when you've put things in place.
Poster, how can you be transporting
ReplyDeleteyourself from Ikorodu to Ajah on a daily basis? How much is your salary? The stress and the transportation. Infact am short of words.
I will advise you to stay with your friend as suggested by you for a month, it will surprise you that your parents will be the one to look for you and plead with you to come home and visit them. You don't need to blame them, the parents will do everything possible to secure the protection of their children but they just mess everything up.
All of you girls shouting "break loose"
ReplyDeleteEven if na goat wey them tie for tree,
im dey break loose?
The people wey she dey wan sleep for them
house, them no dey come her own house sleep over?
I see say una wan read chronicles; "the beast raped
me and my friend connived with am . . . shall I flush
it out or strangulate it?"
No matter how strict your parents are, you still go to church and work
Let your friends come and stay in your house too.
Stupidity has really eaten into your brains. If you don't know the distance between ikorodu to ajah biko go and ask,is it the work the parents are threatening to stop her from going to abi her friends coming to stay at her place will make life easy for her
DeleteHer parents are threatening her to stop the work because it's not worth it. She can look for any other work in Ikorodu or close by. Let her not go and join professional runs girls and end up angry and frustrated like them. Ndi akuna
Delete@16:05
DeleteSo you cannot make a point without insults?
Na waa for you o.
You are mentally unstable. I wonder how ur life is. Jeez
Deleteare u surprised? fan Emmanuel is one of the daftest people on this blog...no common sense walahi..never uses her brain..fan emmanuel start processing your thoughts, its not rocket science
DeleteMy dear poster you need to leave quietly don't argue or quarrel with your parents! They are self centered or they want you to forever live with them which is not possible! You are a grown up adult so think and act like one. Please move and start your life if they decide to cut you off ignore them. They will come back to their senses. They will be alright last last.
ReplyDeletePoster your parents are being overprotective. However it is in the eaglet's best interest to be pushed out of the nest to develop strength to learn how to fly solo. Biko if the eagle doesn't push you out, gather strength and push yourself. Tomorrow if you end up being an old single underachiever who can't take care of them financially under their roof, same parents will blame you.
DeleteI can totally relate. I don't know why some parents are like that. especially mothers. yet they will be the first to raise their voice when their child is above 30 years without a suitor. pikin wey wan spoil go still spoil. if you like lock her indoor 24/7. i remember when i was still in uni, my parents especially mum was too over protective. I didn't even answer her. i was just forming good girl at home. but as soon as i went for service, gbam! i started looking for means to escape o cos i know going back home after nysc wud be war. poster it's your fault o. you're still behaving like a baby that's why. if you were still in sch, I'd understand not when you're done with NYSC and you're working already. So if you have a bf now, you won't be allowed to visit him or vice versa. Na wah o! it is well
ReplyDeleteIs it not visiting of boyfriend that killed a WHOLE deputy governor's child? Poster don't follow bad advices ooo
DeleteThat is how all these lagos parents behave,making people think someone is a baby,you better stand you grounds now or never.
ReplyDeleteI was in the same situation some years back, I was so scared of my parents just like you but truth is I resigned and it hurt them that I was home doing nothing, after a month I got another job same location told them I wouldn't come bck always and they refused as usual, but I did it anyways and all he does is just nag guess what, he don't even complain anymore..
ReplyDeleteEnd time parent. Do head strong.dont call them n really ignore them for as long as. Biko this one has pass been strict oh. It has entered wickedness oh. Na stagnant something I see Lucifer using your parent na I see oh. Better go n rent a place n stay. Ignore them well na them go beg. Try it n see.
ReplyDeleteThis one na Ikorodu Maximum Security Prison. E dey remain to sew that Prison Kaki uniform give you...
ReplyDeleteUna wan make she leave her parent's house make una find free fork?
DeleteWell, no parent is comfy with there kids leaving home... This Nigeria bad...people get away with crimes....as I am, I'm not stepping foot from d comfort of my family house until marriage.. D only law here is, don't stay out beyond 8pm, duh, I'm so cool with it cos I don't do sleepovers except its my elder sis house...
ReplyDeleteTell them. Very soon the one that has been living alone for the 17yrs without getting married will come and advice her to follow her footsteps.
DeleteHuh...I think say u be bad girl now,beyond 8pm ke...hehheheeehehe....u suppose no dey reason crimes and all cos u suppose be bad girl according to ur comments....8pm??? Ha
Delete'I don't do sleep overs except its my elder sis house'..... Then how do u break beds??
DeleteLol..fucky fucky, my movement na daytime o...night waka, mbanu...this life is sweet, I fit bad go were bed n man mata dey, but gun n knife n kidnapping especially in phc, nooo, I'll pee on myself with fear.
DeleteEven as spoilt as blackberry seems she still doesn’t sleep out. Listen to your parents and plan your activities during the day. I know it’s some distance but it’s just 2 BRT buses away. Take it easy, your freedom will come in due course. Don’t defy your parents. There are many wayward children on this blog so be careful who you take advice from..
DeleteYour own case is different. You want to stay in your parents house because it is convenient for you and obviously you are allowed your freedom to a large extent. Nothing is wrong with that. However poster appears to be tied to her parents apron strings. If these aren't cut it may affect her self confidence and self esteem, which will affect every other area of her life. Besides staying with them right now is not really convenient for her.
DeleteBlackBerry,you don't live in Lagos. If you live in Ikorodu and work in Ajah,you don't need anyone to tell you to move out before you do.
DeleteIce, hahahahaa night wasn't meant for breaking beds alone naa, whoever wanna break my waist must create time during d day o...7pm max, I'm outta ur hair...no time.
DeleteBut Blackberry you don't have a job.
DeleteWhen you have a job, come back and comment.
I know a lady in my office her parent are so strict they home schooled her till university stage, they just let her go to this 2 years university program after much talk from people. After that self to work na problem. It took the intervention of her uncle who has a job consultancy firm to let them allow her work. The days we close late they verbally abuse her and threaten to make her stop work.
ReplyDeleteSometimes she comes to work sad, dejected and go to cry in the restroom.
Most weekend, if you call her, it's her mother that would pick.
I don understand why parents do it. My parents were strict but not this way. Just try and save money, move out, let then disown you, as long as you didn't do anythimg wrong. Beg them after moving out that you just want to have a life, they would come around later on. goodluck
Make dem thankGod say no be me...I go just travel nobody go hear from me
DeleteI am just imagining myself in this situation ������ my mama will be picking my call, na to run commot for House na, run go Abuja when they look for me they will know waaasp
Deleterubbish...some parents know the kind people wey dem dey try something with....after my NYSC ma folks wanted me to stay in the state where they reside and work...for where? civil service dry makurdi town...no way...i took off to lagos and have been here since then....married with two girls and have never given them any scandal, never did runs....not about freedom to sleep with men or do any how but i knew what i wanted in life and didn't want to live under their shadows forever
DeleteNa wa. When your eyes clear you will see that they are only trying to protect you the best way they know how to. Go and rent house na. As you dont know the value of free accomodation at a working age. My parents must have been worse than yours but I never valued them until I got married and left home. People like you will marry and travel from your husband's house for several hours to work because "that is what he can afford". They maybe strecthing it but it does not call for rudeness. Prayerfully establish the reason you need a bit of space sometimes and you will be surprised they will eventually get your point. If you like follow bad advice and spoil the relationship with your parents. You will have your children and begin to understand all of your parents' fears.
ReplyDeleteLol @ prayerfully establish the reason you need a bit of space. Plix what does that mean? 😂
DeletePoster faith is backed by action. Your parents cannot live your life for you. If you keep using them as an excuse, in future no one will listen to you and it might be too late.
DeleteMaybe you have done some acts in the past that is warranting all this attitude from them.. sit down and talk to them.. Is it your female friend or you want to go and be living with a male friend.. let them understand your feelings,talk it out with them gently not with miss independent voice... Better still go and marry so you can leave the house for them..
ReplyDeleteBut dont leave if they don't ask you to go.. Don't do it by force
Na wa oh... Some parents sha... I started living alone since i was 19. Pikin wey go spoil go spoil even if u cage them . Poster move out of ur parents house and live ur life. Life no get part 2
ReplyDeleteI dont blame your parents, I blame you. Youre not ready for a fight, so you have decided to remain in that comfort zone. Many of us have parents who live in Lagos and still live on our own.
ReplyDeleteI have advice for you, so take it word for word: contact one of those new companies that give short term loans e.g RenMoney, get a loan (say 500k), get an apartment around Ajah. After work, do some running around and get the basics like mattress and curtains. Everyday, pack a bag of some of your stuff, after work go and drop it there. Plan to move the final things on a friday. Switch off your phone the whole weekend, arrange your house against monday. Switch your phone back on on monday, and reply their messages that you have gotten an apartment because you cant let stress kill you in this Lagos. Switch that phone back off. You may have to buy a new line to communicate henceforth, so they dont distract you with their rants. Whatever you do: DONT LET THEM KNOW WHERE YOU LIVE.
The short term loan company will deduct from your salary every month and them you can plan your life with the rest of your salary.
DONT GO HOME FOR AT LEAST 6 MONTHS, so they can purge themselves off your absence for a while. It will be tough, but you must do this. Find friends who have families and go be with them during festive periods so you can eat homemade jollof rice. Lol. If anyone calls you or sees you and asks about them, tell them your parents are amazing and they are doing very well. Dont entertain any gossip.
Except they are just wicked, after some time they will call you for a talk to straighten things out. You must be ready to stand on your own and pray for God to help you make the right decisions, so that you dont go and enter one chance and your parents do you 'ntoooin 😋😋😋😋'. And make sure your life delivers result so they can know that you mean business. Dont dare ask them for money and if you are doing so, know that its one of the reasons why they are holding on to you.
Look on the bright side, you dont have liability parents who you have to feed. Lol.
Good luck!
Bia where is that poster? Come and read this. Whilst you are at it, make the most of it and advance your career and be focused in pilingup those coins. That is your ticket to silence any disproving tongue.
Deleteposter please don't follow this advice, how much is your salary that Renmoney will give you 500k Loan? don't incure such debt, you are still young.
DeleteTalk to someone that can help you talk to your paren,you can stay with a friend and come home by weekend.
@18:23 1. how do you know the posters age? 2. How do you know her salary is too small? Issa question.
DeleteI think this is the step her mad brother followed
DeleteIkwakwakwakwa😂😂 Fuck you be dishing it as it be!
Delete@fuck you buhahahhaa.... my darling, everyone on this blog knows that youre the one that is mad. Dont pour that frustration on me biko. Try something else this is too weak naau....
Delete@Fan Lizard how naau? Long time. Have you shed any scales this year? I can recommend good cream oh make oga leave side chics wey dey make you vex 😂🤣🤣
My dear. I know how you feel. Dont be confrontational with them. I used to be hard on my daughter over this same issue of returning home very late from work. She just finished Nysc too and offered a good job on Victoria island. Very attractive package.
ReplyDeleteWe are on the mainland. She leaves 5am and does not return till after 10pm. Sometimes 12
I was always mad at her thinking she used to branch some where to pass time. As am equally working and i get home by 6pm. I had my heart in my mouth, then got her a car. Still same,,, Lagos traffic,,,until i sat her down to talk. She then explained the situation to me. She is equally not happy with the situation she found herself in but like your parents i threaghtened to stop her work. She tries to be home much earlier now. Though 10 is not early, am still disturbed. But I now understand. She has a friend who lives in lekki. If she tells me she has a function on the island that may warrant coming back very late. I rather she passes the night at her friends' rather than being on 3rd mainland by 11pm . Now am regretting not buying property on the island when i had the opportunity.
Prove to them you can handle it. Talk to them nicely. They are your parents and they are protecting you. How decent and disciplined are your friends?
How safe is their environment,,, their moral etc?
Like i said. my daughter is 22. We are cool now. Please,dont claim big girl with your parents. No! You will regret it.
Alternate plan is to get a small place around your work location. If its ok by them and if you have the money. And if its a good job, Like pensionable job. Ikorodu is far from Ajah but by the time they finish the 10-lane carrriage way. It will be ok.
Take it easy. All the best dear
God bless you
DeletePoster, this advice up here is the advice you need. Please adhere to it.
DeleteI was once like you. Living with my parents was a nightmare. I wanted to send in chronicles at that time. My parents made me depressed. They frustrated my life. Note that I wasn't a wayward child, I was a tongue speaking born again Christian and people who knew me would tell my parents how fortunate they are to have such a good daughter.
They would say demoralizing words to me, make me cry, discourage me and feel like they were doing me a favor by harboring me in their house. I wanted to leave, I even prayed to God to take me far away. I eventually found my peace and joy when I got married and relocated to join my spouse in the States.
Of course, they were opposed to my marital choice but I stood my ground and prayerfully moved them to succumb.
Now that I'm far away from them, we have a better relationship and they've been so awesome. My absence made their attitude change.
Unfortunately, with parents like ours, there's nothing you can do but marry the right spouse and then leave, except they want you to still live under their roof when married.
I feel your pain dear, just be patient. That's the word I kept getting from the Lord, 'be patient, don't rebel'.
Poster you are scared they will disown you? As in inheritance or what? I don't know the distance you travell to work daily but the truth is the stress will take a toll on you. They have lived their lives they should allow you lived yours. Plan carefully, get your own place, quietly move your things. After you have done that, the day you start staying there don't tell them, when they call, explain to them you now have your own place and would visit when you can. I know they mean well but they shouldn't make a your life stand still!!! Peace!
ReplyDeleteYour parents are only trying to protect you but they should understand with you too that ikorodu to ajah is a way too far everyday for you. I will advise you get an elderly person to talk to them.
ReplyDeleteThings Nigerian parents use to control their children: disown, curses, no parental consent for marriage, we will cut you off financially, I will remove your name from my will.
ReplyDeleteFa fa fa- foul.
I had never seen parents as strict as mine. I read various stories on the internet and I never saw stricter parents. I broke free. If you don't break free now, you will be 45 and unmarried without children, working at a job you hate, living in a city you hate and being resentful of the same parents that you're doing obedient daughter for now. You will also be resentful of those of your friends and cousins/siblings who had the courage to break free.
Before I broke free, I had one objective in mind:
To get disowned. Yes, I wanted them to disown me. If they had said: we disown you at that time, I would have been very happy. Do it now that you're younger, they will come around. Stand your ground, you even have a job sef. You have money.
Pack your bags and move out. Tell them on the day you're moving out. Pay your rent and be packing your load out small small. If anyone tries to hit you, hold their hands. I have seen very graphic domestic violence against children like setting kids on fire. Be ready to call police on anyone. They will start calling friends and family to report you to them. Pick the calls of a few sensible ones and explain to them. You need just one strong ally, though they will preach obedience. Be respectful and polite but still stand your ground. If you don't do this now, you will see ata rodo pepper when you want to get married.
Poster, have you asked your parents the reason why they don't want you to live alone? The house that you stay with your parents, is it a rented one or owned by parents? If it is rented, maybe they can rent a place on the mainland to ease the distance issue.
ReplyDeleteTentatively, you can look for a job on the mainland
I would've sworn I write this chronicle but I don't live in ikorodu, neither do I work in ajah. hehehehe
ReplyDeleteBut then I can relate to what this poster is going thru. In my case, my office isnt far from home & I don't experience traffic at all..& yes, I still live with my parents. At first, they were strict, but now they've relaxed their rules, I go out as I like as long as I tell them where I'm going. My self-imposed curfew time is 9pm. I'm even allowed to have friends visit. No sleep outs except its a wedding or office engagement.
Poster, getting an apartment in Lagos can be expensive & I dunno how much you earn.. but whatever you choose to do, remember, your parents can't disown you, they're just making threats. They can't disown you for choosing to be independent. But if they do, then they're prolly not your parents...lol
For now, try & put up with a friend & go home on a weekend & see their reaction. They'll eventually loosen up.
My dad and my elder brother were like that. I did my NYSC in Lagos, stayed with my brother. The guy used to lock me outside at any slightest thing. He used to beat me too. I am a very stubborn person though but responsible. Men were not my problem at all, I was morally upright. Well, at some point I couldn’t withstand my brother treating me like a kid. I got a studio (self contain) and moved out of the house when was away at work. He called my parents and told them and stopped talking to me for a while. After a few weeks, they all came around and became my buddies sef. My brother used to visit me every Sunday sef. I had my independence but used it wisely. Never allowed any man into house. When I started dating my boyfriend, now my husband, I told him I live with my aunt. I never let him in till we became serious.
ReplyDeleteGbam! For stubborn parents/guardians, thats what you do. Show them that all of you can be stubborn, then see how it works out. They will know that life with you can be worse and you are the one making it easy for them.
DeleteMy dear I use to be in your shoes and up till now though .but I was able to break some of the rules. U hv to close your eyes and take decisions for yourself or u are going to turn grandma and ruin your life. They hv lived their own lives. They cnt disown u. Infact they go dey respect your opinion. How about u renting house close to your work place. Note they cnt disown u.I hv been there and now they are bent on folowing my own rules
ReplyDeletePoster u didn't tell us ur age, I think your parents feel u not old enough to stay on ur own
ReplyDeletePoster......I don't blame them. Parents are afraid because of the news they read in the newspaper daily but they got to let you learn to be independent.
ReplyDeleteBe discipline when you make your decision though......
if your office has a branch in Abuja apply or look for another job that isn't in Lagos but be secretive until u get the job.
ReplyDeleteIn case your office has a branch in Abuja or anywhere else apply and beg. if not look for another job with a branch in Abuja but quietly.
ReplyDeleteBabe you are not a baby any more,some of your mate are married with kids,and yet your parents treat you as if you are till a baby.I will advice oi to save up some money and get an accommodation close to your office, when you are set to move out,you tell them the same day you are moving out. As long as you remain under their roof you are still a baby d will never be able to take decision, you have to move out and start your life. Stop being afraid of your parent o disown you,once you hit it big,they will come looking for you,my sisters treated me like you,but once I finished y secondary school, I looked or admission far from home,5 hours drive just to be far from them,from my first year in school till now I stay alone,after school came back to the same state to serve and I started work,I paid for an accommodation, I stay alone till date, no time to allow over protection stop you from getting what you want.
ReplyDeleteMeeeeeh,babes u have to hold d bull by d hand an decide ur future, God helping u,you must surely overcome.
ReplyDeletePoster,you are an adult. Please save up your money and move out. Your parents will come around eventually.
ReplyDeletelook for a job outside lagos and leave their house.
ReplyDelete